Free Agency Preview, Tyreek Cut, Derek Carr's Comeback, the Shai–Paul George Trade, and Fixing Car Horns

Summary

The Ringer Fantasy Football Show - Free Agency Preview, Tyreek Cut, Derek Carr's Comeback, Shai–Paul George Trade & Fixing Car Horns

Date: February 19, 2026
Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, Craig Horlbeck

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Episode Overview

This episode delivers a packed, entertaining roundup of NFL and fantasy football news—ranging from major free agency developments (including Tyreek Hill’s dramatic cut and Miami’s rebuild), what’s next for veteran QBs like Derek Carr, and the wild dominoes of franchise tags, to sharp observations on NBA trades, car horn etiquette, and the sales hustle of a record-setting Girl Scout. The dynamic between Danny, Danny, and Craig blends insightful fantasy advice with recurring tangents, inside jokes, and audience banter, making it a must-listen for football die-hards and casual sports fans alike.

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Podcast Name Changes & Housekeeping

(02:12-03:50)

• The show will temporarily change its name to "The Ringer NFL Draft Show" during draft season, before reverting to the regular title post-draft.
  • Danny Heifetz: “It's totally normal. Every podcast changes their name for multiple months at a time each year ... We're right. Everybody else on earth is wrong.” (03:08)
• Subscribe/follow prompts due to name/feed shifting.
• Hosts riff on no other media doing this: “No one has done it, so we're trailblazers.” – Danny Kelly (02:59)

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Main NFL & Fantasy News

Tyreek Hill’s Miami Cut & What’s Next

(03:50-08:10)

• Surprising news: Tyreek Hill was cut by the Dolphins; hosts found out via a text from Heifetz’s dad.
• Tyreek is 32, coming off a major knee injury requiring additional surgery.
  • Danny Kelly: "He still needs another surgery on his LCL... that’s how bad it was." (04:18)
• The fantasy and real-life implications:
  • Tyreek's days as a dominant WR are likely over. What does an ex-speedster with a surgically repaired knee look like?
  • Locker room concerns and “worn out his welcome” narrative.
  • Teams like Steelers or Ravens as archetypal landing spots for “washing-up” WRs.
  • Memorable moment: “Tyreek with crutches would be the fastest receiver on your team, probably after DK [Metcalf].” – Danny Heifetz, (05:37)
• Miami’s motivations: Full regime change, shedding contracts from the McDaniel/Greer era, cutting other big names (e.g., Bradley Chubb).
• Miami likely to move on from Tua in similar money-losing fashion.
  • "They're just gutting the thing ... If this season sucks, we're going to tell the owner, look at all this shit we had to clean up." – Danny Heifetz, (11:00)

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Miami's Full-Scale Rebuild

(08:10-16:21)

• New Dolphins GM John Eric Sullivan and coach Jeff Hafley ("the Miami Chads") leading the teardown (joked about as interchangeable “Dermot Mulroney and Dylan McDermott”).
• The Dolphins are expected to “tank” this season and aim at the deeper 2026 QB class.
  • Craig: “They're tanking for Arch or they're tanking for Lenora Sellers ... It's looking like a deep class next year.” (11:59)
• Miami shifting to Green Bay’s 'build through draft’ model; likely to keep or trade select young talent (like De'Von Achane and Jaylen Waddle), but total “burn it down” approach likely.
• Extensive discussion: Whether to trade Achane now, his “perfect fit” risk, and overall skill player collapse of Miami's roster.

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Franchise Tag Season & RB Market

(17:26-30:50)

• Frustrations about the franchise tag system explained in detail:
  • “It's just a giant like foot just tripping people right as they get to the finish line of free agency.” – Danny Heifetz, (17:38)
  • One-year tag, only one per team, grouped position tags can lead to illogical outcomes (e.g., all O-linemen together).
• Debate over Seahawks RB Ken Walker (Super Bowl MVP!) getting tagged or possibly transition-tagged, and whether other teams could poach him.
  • Super Bowl MVPs rarely leave, but the Seahawks may use the “transition tag” instead to reduce cost.
  • Discussion of running back value, alternatives, and cost-saving replacements (Brian Robinson, Tyler Allgeier, Kenneth Gainwell, etc.).
  • Although Walker is the “most explosive” type of back, business is business in a cap-tight world.
  • Craig: “He really only got going until late in the season. ... He might just want to go to a team that's going to give him 20 carries a game.” (24:04)
• The RB devaluation spiral, especially for good players on bad teams (e.g., Breece Hall on the Jets).

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“Have teams gone too far not paying RBs?”

• “The pendulum has swung too far,” says Heifetz, arguing that in a high-salary-cap world, top RBs still only take ~5% of roster value.

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Notable Franchise Tag Candidates

(30:57-33:05)

• Expect George Pickens (Dallas), Kyle Pitts (Atlanta), Alec Pierce (Colts) all to be tagged.
• Daniel Jones’ situation in Indy: “I think it makes sense for them to tag him. Classic tag situation,” says Danny Kelly (32:27).
• Colts GM headaches after going “all-in” on a failed secondary.
• “Don’t give up two first round picks for a corner the first time you ever start 7-1.” – Danny Heifetz (32:31).

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Seahawks Coaching Staff Moves

(32:46-35:45)

• Seahawks hire Niners TE coach Brian Fleury as offensive coordinator; hosts cautiously optimistic due to his background balancing run/pass game knowledge in a Shanahan offense.
• Running joke: nearly half the league now comes from the McVay/Shanahan coaching tree; it’s a bubble, soon to “take over the NFL.”
  • Danny Kelly: “It's gonna look like a Game of Thrones family tree … the Targaryens and the Lannisters.” (35:40)

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Off-Topic Highlights (NBA trades, funny tangents, listener emails)

NBA Tangents – Shai-Gilgeous Alexander & Paul George Trade

(45:48-48:35)

• Discussion on Oklahoma City’s mastery of collecting first-rounders, the Clippers’ historic trade gaffe.
  • Danny Heifetz: “That’s probably one of the worst trades of all time. The MVP and five firsts.” (47:25)
  • “If the Thunder were the Sixers, we’d say the Thunder had the best rebuild in the history of sports.” (47:57)

Derek Carr’s Comeback Interview

(50:47-52:45)

• Derek Carr says he’ll “unretire to win a Super Bowl” (on his brother's podcast).
  • Danny Kelly: “Me too.” (50:47)
  • Most realistic landing spot? Minnesota.
    • “If three months ago somebody told me in 2026 your quarterback would be Derek Carr, coached by Mike McCarthy, I’d probably … Grand Canyon.” (52:24)

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Funniest Segment: “Fixing Car Horns”

(79:32-81:47)

• Extended, passionate rant about how car horns are too aggressive and need a friendlier, less antagonistic tone.
  • Danny Kelly: “The horn's gotta be nicer and you need to feel more exposed.” (80:22)
• Brainstorming: Should horns have different modes, like friendly reminder vs. true emergency? If every car was a convertible, there’d be less road rage.
• Danny Heifetz: “We need a horn that’s like, ‘If you don’t mind moving, I’d really appreciate it.’” (80:07)
• Call for listener ideas!

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Notable Listener-Driven Segments

Epic Girl Scout Cookie Seller Story

(64:34-68:36)

• Six-year-old in Pittsburgh (with a disability) sells over 80,000 boxes of cookies after being turned away by multiple troops; viral TikTok, now over 100k sales and counting.
  • “Pim is a fucking legend. She's really Marlo Stanfield. She's not an Avon, she's the Marlowe of the fucking cookie game!” – Danny Heifetz (66:51)
• Discussion of the business mechanics: $1 per box goes to the troop.

Mom & Grandma Sports Takes

(68:58-72:27)

• From Chris: Grandma wonders, “Why do you miss free throws? They’re free. It’s from the same spot every time.” (68:58)
  • Classic parent/grandparent logic, leading to jokes about LeBron at the line for the fate of the world: “Would you be nervous? I would.” (70:41)
• Sidebar: Greatest free throw shooters ever (Steph Curry, Steve Kerr, Rick Barry).

Best Rain/Weather Sleep Theories

(74:34-77:19)

• Multiple listener emails about how rain impacts sleep, with some scientific speculation (increased moisture, heavier air).
  • “There's a name for this feeling. It's called chrysalis … the amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm.” (75:45)
• Observations about differences in rain smell across climates (East Coast vs. Arizona).

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Memorable Quotes and Moments

• “We're right. Everybody else on earth is wrong.” — Danny Heifetz on the show’s name change (03:08)
• “Tyreek with crutches would be the fastest receiver on your team.” — Danny Heifetz (05:37)
• “That's what Miami’s doing ... we're going to tell the owner, look at all this shit we had to clean up.” — Danny Heifetz (11:00)
• “Do you think the Seahawks would really try to save $6 million to go from Ken Walker to, like, Rico Dowdle?” — Danny Heifetz (26:09)
• “Why do you miss free throws? They’re free.” (68:58)
• “We need a horn that's kind of like, hey, if you don't mind moving, that would be great.” — Danny Heifetz (80:07)
• “Pim is a fucking legend. She's the Marlo Stanfield of the cookie game.” — Danny Heifetz (66:51)

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Episode Timeline (Timestamps for Key Topics)

• 02:12 – Name Changes, Housekeeping, Show Structure
• 03:50 – Dolphins Release Tyreek Hill & Fallout
• 08:10 – Miami’s Front Office, Massive Roster Teardown
• 11:35 – Dolphins Reset, Quarterback Class and Tanking Talk
• 17:26 – Franchise Tag Primer & RB Pay Trends
• 21:22 – Seahawks RB Ken Walker Tag Debate
• 26:24 – Free-Agent RB Replacement Options
• 30:57 – Other Key Franchise Tag Scenarios
• 32:46 – Seahawks Offense & Fleury Hire
• 35:30 – McVay/Shanahan Coaching Tree Riff
• 45:48 – NBA: Shai–Paul George Trade, Thunder's Rebuild
• 50:47 – Derek Carr Comeback, QB Market
• 64:34 – Epic Girl Scout Cookie Seller Story
• 68:58 – Mom/Grandma Sports Wisdom
• 74:34 – Rain & Sleep Listener Theories
• 79:32 – “Fixing Car Horns” Extended Discussion

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Episode Vibes

The episode is quintessential Ringer: equal parts insightful and absurd, switching between deep NFL analysis (salary cap mechanics, prospect values, franchise tags), pop culture references, and running banter. The hosts’ camaraderie and riffing make even digressions memorable. Fans of both football breakdowns and irreverent sports-adjacent commentary will find plenty to love.

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Listener Calls to Action

• Send suggestions on how to “fix the car horn.”
• Email fantasy/NFL draft or combine questions.
• Contribute stories about rain, wild parents/grandparent sports takes, and more.

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Closing

The hosts prep for their next episode on the ground at the NFL Combine in Indianapolis and tease the return of familiar and new segments under the show’s brief Draft Show branding. They sign off sharing 80s nostalgia, ice cream preferences, and promising more deep dives—both in football strategy and offbeat life commentary—in upcoming episodes.

Transcript

[Danny Heifetz]

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[Danny Heifetz]

Welcome to the Rigor Fantasy Football Show. My name is Danny Heifetz and I'm joined by Danny Kelly and Craig Horlbecker. We're going over a bunch of news today because a bunch of stuff has happened since we last recorded. We're going to go through emails first, some housekeeping. We at some point next week, maybe Monday, maybe later in the week. I think almost definitely Craig. We are going to change our name of this show to the Ringer NFL Draft Show. Nothing else is changing. We're still going to be the three of us on the show. It's the same feed so if you're listening to us we never asked this but just hit the little subscriber follow button because we changed the name and then what? The draft is over at April or the beginning of May. We're going to change it back, and it's totally normal. Every podcast changes their name for multiple months at a time each year. It's a super normal thing. Don't worry about it. And it makes a ton of sense.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Have we found any other podcasts that do this?

[Danny Kelly]

I'm waiting for literally one other show in any form of media to do this, but no one has done it, so we're trailblazers. You know, it works. It's working.

[Danny Heifetz]

It's not that everyone else literally is wrong. It's. It's. It's. Well, no, that. That is it. It's. We're right. Everybody else on earth is. Is. Is wrong. You know, about keeping the same name all year. We. We love to switch it up, but. Yeah, so we're gonna be the NFL Draft Show. We know it's confusing and Sorry, but that's what we're gonna do. So February, March, and April, we're gonna be the NFL Draft Show.

[Danny Kelly]

And then when we talk about free agency that week, we'll change our name to the NFL Free Agency Show. And then we'll go back to the NFL Draft. So every week we'll change our names.

[Danny Heifetz]

Like last week, we were the NFL Frame Mogging Show.

[Danny Kelly]

That's right.

[Danny Heifetz]

And, you know, well, kind of every episode of the show is, so. But yeah, in all seriousness, just hit follow or subscribe or wherever, please. We never ask, but only when we literally change the title of the show. Please just hit the button so that when you go to search us.

[Danny Kelly]

All right, they get it. They get it.

[Danny Heifetz]

All right, all right. Final. Shut up. Jeez. All right, fine. All right, we're gonna get news. Dolphins cut Tyreek Hill, and I am very serious. I learned this because my father texted me the Giants should sign Tyreek Hill, but I didn't even know he'd been cut. My dad somehow saw Schefter's News before I.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Do you. Do you agree with your father's assessment that the Giants should sign Tyree Kill?

[Danny Heifetz]

I asked my dad, are you aware that he's 32 years old and dislocated his knee?

[Danny Kelly]

He did not respond. Tyree Kill, on a Twitch stream last week, said that he still needs another surgery on his lcl. So, like, he is still not even yet recovering fully from his knee injury because he's still having surgeries. That's how bad it was.

[Danny Heifetz]

Well, I don't know how. That's the thing. Like, oh, like, he's A free agent. He's 32 and he get cut. So you can sign anywhere. If your contract expires in the beginning mid March, you can sign then. He could sign anywhere now. But it's kind of like, oh, what could Tyree kill, dude? I don't know. I mean it's like, it's like a hypothetical. It's like what happens when the fastest player in the history of pro football mangles his knee? Nick chubb style at 32? I, I, I don't know what.

[Craig Horlbecker]

He was also not the fastest guy in the NFL anymore when he did hurt it. I mean, he kind of been declining over the last couple of years in terms of his overall explosiveness and speed.

[Danny Kelly]

I kind of quibble with that. I feel like he was still pretty damn good. Like even if he wasn't like 99 out of 100, I feel like he was still 93 out of 100, which you would take.

[Danny Heifetz]

I agree. I think the Dolphins being willing to literally like just take $100 million of dead cat maybe to get rid of Tua is probably a sign that pre injury Tyreek was probably still pretty good.

[Craig Horlbecker]

So maybe he fits great on the Steelers, for instance.

[Danny Heifetz]

They love slow players. That's a good call.

[Danny Kelly]

At this point I might say yes to that. I knew it. It's. What is it him or Calvin Austin? Yeah, okay, maybe I'll take Tyreek.

[Danny Heifetz]

Tyreek with crutches would be the fastest receiver on your team, probably after dk.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Hey, he has DK Metcalf too.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah. I don't really know what to say about what Tyree Kill would do. It's funny, so many people were like, oh, he could go back to the Chiefs and I'm like, is there anything like a little more like man post peak than Mahomes off an ACL with Tyree Kill off a dislocated knee and maybe Travis Kelsey coming back to limp around like that would be sad. I actually don't want to see that. That would be like an old timer's day.

[Danny Kelly]

It'll be really interesting to see what happens with him because guys like DeAndre Hopkins who are not speed dependent and are kind of like body control guys, like you know, break a zone type guys who have made it work and have been relevant in pockets and moments for the Ravens. DeAndre Hopkins was relevant for a little bit for Kansas City. I don't really know what like Tyreek Hill as a role playing wide receiver looks like. Like as the third or fourth guy on a team because of his skill set. So It'll be very interesting to see which team lands him and if they can use him creatively to still kind of take advantage of what he's able to do.

[Danny Heifetz]

I. Well, that's the thing is what is he able to do? Because the thing is he's a speed demon. And then it's like, what happens again? Also there's a whole thing of locker room style of do you want to manage a guy on the decline? Yeah, that's the other thing. And then it's like you're actually the fourth best on this team.

[Craig Horlbecker]

The whole thing is muddied because not only is he coming off an injury, but, you know, he's been kind of a notoriously difficult person to manage as a as from a coaching staff point of view. I don't know what his teammates feel of him, but you know, he, he's going kind of rogue in the media at times here and there over the last couple of years.

[Danny Kelly]

He's the type of player who could only be on a team for like four years before he has to leave.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Wears out his welcome.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, I mean, honestly, the. His Miami tenure was almost underrated for how many weird, different, crazy things happened to him that he was involved in from starting. Like the beginning of the 2024 season. He was detained by police on the way to the Week 1 game. That's how this started in 2024 was like the Cowboys signed Dak and then Tyreek Hill was just detained while Adam Schefter's talking about Dak Prescott's contract. And then the season ended with him saying I'm out. And the teammate like, he literally like, I don't want to be here anymore. He was a captain and teammates are like, you don't get to be captain anymore. So yeah. And then he gets this injury. So who knows what he's going to be going forward.

[Craig Horlbecker]

I Fist bumping and laughing on the way. Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Kind of maniacally bizarre.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Just really, really bizarre situation.

[Danny Kelly]

Like an adrenaline infused laugh.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

I. That's exactly what it was. So yeah, we'll. We'll see where it goes. But he's probably never going to be the same player ever again again. So the Dolphins, he'll go where all.

[Danny Kelly]

Washed up, old, aging, formerly great wide receivers go.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Is Baltimore probably.

[Danny Heifetz]

Actually, yeah, that's probably true.

[Craig Horlbecker]

We'll.

[Danny Heifetz]

We'll. We'll put that on social when he signs with Baltimore. You're right in, in, in like June 3rd because after the deadline passes for he won't cost him a compact. The other so the Other side of this is Miami. So this is all just the two Chads that run the Miami Dolphins now, which is John Eric Sullivan, the gm and Jeff Halfley, who are the head coach.

[Danny Kelly]

Who, Chad Fishing, some say Chad Fishing in the club.

[Danny Heifetz]

We should play a game in Miami and see if we. How many people. We hold up two photos of them without captions and see how many people could actually point out which is which guy is which.

[Danny Kelly]

We should do that at the combine. Are they both going to be there?

[Danny Heifetz]

I think so. So we could.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, my gosh. Eric Sullivan and Jeff. It's like Dermot Mulroney and. And. And Dylan McDermott where nobody could figure out which one's which. We should just do that with the two of us.

[Craig Horlbecker]

That's good.

[Danny Heifetz]

We should go to Jeff Halfley's podium and just keep calling him John Eric. Yeah, Just see what happens. Anyway, so they're just kind of sweeping out this Mike McDaniel era. Chris Greer era. Chris Greer was there for like 25 years and Mike McDaniel was there for four or whatever. But, you know, they also cut Bradley Chubb, who they gave a first round pick for and immediately also shredded his knee actually at the end of that season. So that was a lost cause. They cut James Daniels, who was a guard from Pittsburgh that they paid a lot of money for, and James Daniels literally was out for the season on the third play of the year. And so just a lot of free agency money. And this is the Dolphins for years and years, which is they pay a lot of money in free agency. Never works. This goes back 20 years. Honestly. Domicung Sue 10 years ago. Like the Dolphins are. They're kind of just spent a lot of money and it doesn't work out. But I think the question is the next thing, they're. They're just getting rid of this whole era and Tua is the guy who's next. And we've been talking about whether they would Russ Tua, Kirk Cousins Tua or Brock Osweiler Tua, meaning do you keep him on for way too much money? Do you cut him for way too much money? Or do you actually have to give draft capital away to let someone take him NDA style, which the Texans did with the Browns like 12 years ago? The answer seems to be that they're not going to keep them. The Kirk Cousins. I know we drafted Michael Penix and we're going to give Kirk all this money, but we'll keep him. It seems, which is what Atlanta did last year. Seems that's not an option, and that's late. They're going to try to trade him, and I don't think anyone's going to do it. So it seems the most likely option is that Miami will release TUA and then do some paperwork. That means they'll get. They'll split the $100 million dead cap charge in two and basically take like 50 million this year and 50 million next year. Dead, which is hilarious. But the salary caps.

[Craig Horlbecker]

There's dead money. There's dead money with Tyreek, too, right?

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh, yeah.

[Craig Horlbecker]

But this, they're just going to be. This is going to be a rough year for Miami.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah. And that's the thing. I think a lot of teams now, what they're doing is I don't want to go in too much into the accounting and paperwork of dead money, but all it means is there's a gap between how much you've paid people in cash and how much you actually have reported. So what happens now is a new GM or new coach, whatever comes in, and they're like, this year is like, we're going to just. We're going to like, renovate the house. We're gutting the thing. So Sean Payton, when they made the playoffs the first year. Sean Payton, last year, not this season, but last season, they. And they lost to the Bills, they had, like, one third of their cap that season was just dead money, mostly from Russell Wilson. Like the Giants, when they actually made the playoffs and they beat the Vikings that season, I think, like, 40% of the Giants cap was just dead money. And they basically just blame the old regime. And you're like, yeah, it's a wash anyway. Who cares? And then you move and you kind of just clean it all out. And so that's what Miami's doing is they're like, you know what? If this season sucks, we're going to tell the owner, look, look at all this shit we had to clean up, you know, and you just kind of get out of the way and then you're like, all right, going forward, it'll be ours. So that's what.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, DK people. People are saying that. We know that, you know, this draft is not a great quarterback's draft.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Right.

[Danny Kelly]

And every year, the. The next year is the year with the good quarterback draft, which I'm pretty sure this year was supposed to be a good quarterback year until it wasn't.

[Danny Heifetz]

Correct.

[Danny Kelly]

But right now, in keeping tradition, next year is supposed to be a great quarterback class.

[Craig Horlbecker]

It is.

[Danny Kelly]

So perhaps this is not a terrible time for Miami to have the Worst season in a while.

[Craig Horlbecker]

That's right. They're tank. They're tanking for Arch or they're tanking for Lenora Sellers or whoever ends up being sort of like the big guy Dante Moore next year coming out of the, coming into the draft. I will say it is objectively looking a lot better next year than it does this year.

[Danny Kelly]

Right.

[Craig Horlbecker]

So that is an actual real thing.

[Danny Heifetz]

Well, just to be clear, it's not necessarily that anyone will be better than Mendoza, but it's deeper. Right. This year it's like there's probably one for sure.

[Craig Horlbecker]

There's like eight or 10 guys that are kind of on the radar for potential first round quarterback style picks. And so yeah, I mean it's, it's looking like a deep class next year. The other thing I think that needs to be said here and it's coming from sort of the Green Bay tradition is Green Bay has always built through the draft. So, you know, even though they're going to take all this dead money this year, it doesn't really matter that much because they weren't going to go out and spend a whole bunch of money on free agents anyway. Probably. I think what they'll do is try and keep some of their guys that they think deserves extensions and then they're going to build through the draft and the other thing they might do is trade away some of these guys that actually still have value.

[Danny Kelly]

Right.

[Craig Horlbecker]

I'm looking at Devon Hn, you know, and I was talking to Carlos about this. I was apologizing because it just doesn't make any sense for them to keep divide HN at this point probably. So maybe they can get something for him. Jalen Waddle might be time to move him while you still have a chance and get some, some draft capital out of that.

[Danny Heifetz]

Trade both those guys though, at some point you have to pay. You have to keep some good players. Like who?

[Craig Horlbecker]

Yes, that's true. Maybe HN is the guy that they think is worth keeping. I would not be like against that. But in terms of, you know, they're not, he's not going to move the needle for them competing this year.

[Danny Kelly]

No. I also think HN is the type of guy who I don't want to say his stock is higher than it will ever be, but I do think he has a good reputation right now. He had a good season, he had a healthy season and the right team could probably use him because we've seen it work with McDaniel and so you could probably sell him high right now. I don't know, he's the type of guy where I don't exactly know how I feel about him as just like raw talent. Like he's one of those guys where I feel like if you use him correctly, he can be fantastic, but if he's on the wrong team, it might not work.

[Craig Horlbecker]

I think he's super talented. I just think he, he has a specific role that he's going to be really good.

[Danny Kelly]

It needs to be the right team and so maybe you can find that team and get a lot for him.

[Danny Heifetz]

DK I'm stunned that you're not more excited about Devon Talladega Nights.

[Danny Kelly]

Achan I feel like you can't throw him on any team and he's just like a 20 carry back. Like, I think he needs a specific game plan to make his skill set.

[Craig Horlbecker]

I think he, yeah, he's the kind of running back I, I, I've loved him ever since he was in college. He's super explosive. I do think he's a really talented runner and he's good in the passing game.

[Danny Heifetz]

Fastest kid alive.

[Craig Horlbecker]

But that being said, he is very undersized. He's had some injury issues in his NFL career, so there's some risks around those two things. And then, you know, I think being on a team where they're getting rid of the ball really, really quickly with TUA was advantageous to him because he was a huge part of their passing game. And if you get with him with a quarterback who doesn't want to come, you know, come back to the running back quickly is more like push like a Jameis Winston type of guy or something that's pushing the ball down the field more often, then I think you see his value diminish pretty significantly. So, you know, there it is kind of just a fit thing. I think you could say this about a lot of running backs. Most, most running backs are not going to be worth, you know, what they kind of could get on the open market unless they're, you know, catching a ton of passes are really perfect fit for the offense. So I think that he could be a guy that they move to try and get some more draft capital next year. I think a lot of people are going to be trying to get into next year's draft this off season. So that's going to be supposed to.

[Danny Kelly]

Be a big one next year.

[Craig Horlbecker]

I mean, this draft, the current draft we're going into, not very top heavy. And then next year's draft class is supposed to be really good. So, you know, that's just the way Teams operate. But if you look looking at the Dolphins receiving core right now, right now, even before trading those guys, I was looking at this. The. The guys they have under contract right now. Jalen Waddle, Malik Washington, Theo Weiss, Weiss Jr. Taj Washington. Those are the only guys they have under contract next year. D. Eskridge and Cedric Wilson are both undrafted or. Sorry. Unrestricted free agents. The tight ends they have under contract, Jalen Conyers and Julian Hill. This could be the worst skilled group I've ever seen in my life.

[Danny Heifetz]

If they.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Especially if they trade Hn or Waddle.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah. So you're really kind of disrespectful to the Garrett Wilson list New York jets of last season.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Yeah. That those. That team exists. So I'll. I'll not call them the worst of all time here, but yeah, it's pretty close.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah. Rough season for my There are some bad ones.

[Danny Kelly]

Cleveland is pretty Tennessee's.

[Danny Heifetz]

There's a lot terrible the it's funny. There's a lot of. There's a lot of not great skill groups out there. But we'll see who Miami gets a quarterback. We'll see if they again Occam's Razor. We'll see if they sign Malik Willis who was the packers backup and played all right. And he's a free agent. And these guys who run the Dolphins game from Green Bay. So we'll see what happens. Okay. The other news so Adam Schefter posted that the Seahawks seem unlikely to franchise tag Ken Walker, the Seahawks running back, AKA the Super bowl mvp Ken Walker, who at one point as many yards in the super bowl as all the other Seahawks combined and almost twice as many as the Patriots did through like two and a half quarters. And then Chef drew this phrase. There are enough super bowl tax costs for the Seahawks that now make using a franchise tag this off season unlikely. Sources told espn. And what he means by taxes is not literally. He just means they're gonna have to give Darnold a little bump because of. Thank you. And they have to extend Jackson. So the jigba super bowl disease of more. Everyone wants more because they won a championship, blah, blah, blah. Do we even want to get in Ken Walker right now or do we have to explain what the franchise tag is? Because this is always like the most annoying thing to explain to people.

[Craig Horlbecker]

I mean, it's franchise tag season. Might as well give a little refresher.

[Danny Heifetz]

It's just the dumbest thing ever. And it's just. It's just terrible.

[Craig Horlbecker]

But it basically pro franchise, very anti.

[Danny Heifetz]

Player, it's just a giant like foot just tripping people right as they get to the finish line of free agency. It's like you do your four years, an NFL contract or five if you were a first round pick and you're about to reach free agency and you actually can make like the first contract, are deeply underpaid, which I think we now know for sure because now you have guys going back to college because they're like, I'll make more money getting nil than I will the NFL. So all these guys are pretty underpaid on the first deal because you can't really negotiate it. The second deal is where you get your money. And right when the good players are about to reach free agency, teams literally have this little nope button and they just get to be like nevermind. And they just tag and they call it a tag, which is so lame. Like boop, you're it. And like you have to stay boop. And they're like, oh, what are the terms? And you're like, well you have to stay for one year and it's this much money and it's a lot. But you basically, you have to stay. You can't do it. It's just like a, like a boop.

[Danny Kelly]

Yes. And you get, but yeah, you do get paid a lot. It's that you get paid the average of the top five salaries at that position. So a quarterback, what is it right now? Would it be in the 40s?

[Danny Heifetz]

45,48 million running back. But there's a huge range running back, it's 14 and a half million. A quarterback's 48. And so what it is, is basically in a context, it's not really a football is not a context sport. It's a collision sport. And so in a collision based sport where anyone can become Daniel Jones or Tyree Kill at any given year, it doesn't make you feel, I'm not pretending 14/2 million is not a lot of money for running back. But you would prefer like CD Lamb signed for like $140 million. So players don't like multiple years getting tat. Yeah, they want multi year contracts. In a sport where you are always one play away from your group.

[Danny Kelly]

It's brutal. It's like, it's like the landlord has all the power here essentially. And it's like it's the worst thing possible for an NF for the NFL where your, your entire career could change in one game with some horrific injury and that long term security is not locked.

[Danny Heifetz]

That probably is the best comp. I could give for regular people is imagine if you've rented and rented and rented and you finally have the opportunity to buy this house and right as you're about to like get a mortgage and own a house, the your old landlord's like, boop, nope, you have to rent for me again.

[Danny Kelly]

Exactly.

[Danny Heifetz]

Next year, do it with one year. What's the big deal? And you're like, I wanted to own a house. Like, nope.

[Danny Kelly]

Boom.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

And so anyway, any list. Austin Gaylor wrote a rate a great column at the Ringer this week that we're top free agents and there's a lot of great lists of top free agents. But what the tag does is the coolest top 10 players on the list just go back to their old teams. So you it. You can't even.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Anticlimactic.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, we should say a team can only franchise tag one player.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yes, one player. And we'll get in all the details and I'll spare you some of the more annoying ones, but a good example is Kyle Pitts. It would be fun to sit here and play fan fiction with you about what if Kyle Pitts went to like the Niners and then George Kittles and Achilles recovery, you know, but we can't because the Falcons are going to bring Kyle Pitts back because he's so cheap. Exactly. And it depends. And there's all this games within the game of the prices. So for example, they group all offensive linemen together as one position. So that what that means is it's cheaper to bring left tackles back. But then like the top five positions, it's the top five left tackles. So then a guy like Tyler Linderbaum, the center, is going to hit free agency because the Ravens are not going to pay left tackle money because it's one offensive lineman. Another example is like the people who squeak through are like, Devin Lloyd for the Jaguars is a good linebacker. They won't tag him because he's a linebacker, but linebacker includes like outside linebackers. So it's like pass rushes. So like T.J. watts, a linebacker even though he doesn't play inside linebacker. So there's also, there's nuances and stuff, but we don't have to get into all of it. The point here with this Ken Walker thing is I'm curious what you think, dk. I'm a little skeptical of this, but the idea is they're like, well, we're not going to bring Ken Walker back on the tag. We don't want to pay 14/2 million for running back. We have all These things. What do you think of this? Do you actually think the Seoks would not bring Kid Walker back?

[Craig Horlbecker]

I believe that they're not going to franchise tag him. It's solely because they have other higher priorities. Probably they've got a quite a lot of free agents on their defense that they need to take care of. So it wouldn't be surprising if they use that, save that franchise tag for that kind of situation. But yeah, I mean, I think I definitely want them to keep Kenneth Walker. I feel like he was so good for them down the stretch and, and really made a huge difference. I know that the running backs don't matter type of, you know, like that's a coin term. And, and for, for the most part, I kind of agree with that. It's not gonna like we were just talking about Von Achan. He's not going to move the needle for a bad team, but a really good running back on a really good team to me does make a huge difference. And so I don't want them to have to go into next year with some rookie draft pick and Kenneth Charbonnet coming off a late season ACL tear. Whoever. There, there are some other guys in free agency, but I just feel like that would be a huge, huge downgrade for their offense.

[Danny Kelly]

We should, I should have looked this up before, but I just thought of it right now. Has. What Has a Super Bowl MVP ever not returned to the team the next year?

[Danny Heifetz]

I was also. I, I, I highly, I, maybe, but probably.

[Craig Horlbecker]

I'm sure it's happened, but it's very rare.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, it would be strange. It's funny to think about because it wasn't just like one game for Ken Walker. He was probably the most important he's ever been to the Seahawks at the specific moment where they won the super bowl. And this exact stretch is where he's the most important because Zach Charbonnet towards ACL in the divisional round is it. I don't even know if you can expect him back. I mean by Halloween would seem crazy. I don't know if you could expect Zach Charbonnet to be at full game strength at any point during the regular season next year. And counting on him for a team that probably wants to make it back to the super bowl seems a little crazy. So here. Can I give you my conspiracy theory on this Ken Walker thing. I think that Adam Schefter is being a little bit like the literal doctor from Arrested Development where it's like he's going to be all right and it's like no These left, you know, no left arm. I think when part of me is like Schefter saying they won't use the franchise tag, part of me thinks they might use the transition tag, which is technically not the franchise tag, but there's this other tag where it's cheaper. But in theory, they're like, oh, you could do this lesser number. And if someone gives us like two first round picks, they can just take the guy and no one's going to do that. So I think the Seahawks might actually transition tag Ken Walker, which would save them about $3 million. And I think part of me thinks maybe the Seahawks let Ken Walker go and go try to get a free agent running back, which we could go through them. Part of me thinks this is negotiating through the Adam Schefter and they're saying, hey, Ken Walker. Because again, John Schneider was at the super bowl parade and literally is drunk and is up there and it's like, Kev, shout out to Ken Walker, the mvp. He just tried to negotiate with me. That was really weird. And Ken Walker seemed, like, not happy that he said that at the parade.

[Craig Horlbecker]

I think. I mean. And look, Ken Walker probably has a little bit of a complicated relationship with the Seahawks. They platooned him for the vast majority of the season. He really only got going until late in the season when Zach Charbonnet went down. I think Kenneth Walker, from his point of view, he needs to get the most money possible right now. This is. He's never going to have higher value. And this second contract is where running backs make their most money for the most part, because it's just shorter. A shorter, you know, career for running backs because of all the wear and tear. And then he might just want to go to a team that's going to give him 20 carries a game. You know what I mean? Like, he might just not want to go back to doing this real quick.

[Danny Heifetz]

Frustrated when Super Bowl MVP and your team's like, you're not worth that much money.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Yeah, real quick, though. I do think I found someone that was the Super Bowl MVPN that was traded. It was Dion Branch after the 2006.

[Danny Heifetz]

Good call.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Or five season, but I can't remember the exact timeline of that. I think he was the Super Bowl MVP and then they traded him.

[Danny Heifetz]

That's the most Belichick thing that. Yeah, it's like, yeah, well, you're too early. Yeah, no, I think you're right. September 2006 on the Eve of the season. That's crazy. Yeah. So I. I kind of think the seoks bring Walker back. But I wanted to go through the free agent running backs with you guys because the draft class isn't great at running back. There's Jeremiah Love, who's out of Notre Dame, is an awesome running back. The second best running back in this year's draft might be the backup for Jeremiah Love at Notre Dame. But the free agents, because I'm kind of wondering, I'm like, are the Seals really going to go into free agency? Because they have to get a running back. You can't have George Alani be your starting running back. So the other running backs in free agency are like, there's Kent Walker. There'd be Breece hall for the jets, but I think he would be more money. Then there's Travis ETN for the Jaguars, but I think that's also probably about the same amount of money.

[Danny Kelly]

Similar. Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

So then you're like, okay, would they. The guys that the Seoks could conceivably go inside. Javante Williams is a free agent who is in Dallas. Brian Robinson, who was on Washington, traded to the Niners. Rico Dowdle, Rashad White for the Bucks. Tyler Elgir, who.

[Craig Horlbecker]

I could see that.

[Danny Heifetz]

Tyler for the fact I kind of think Tyler Algier actually could do a David Montgomery impression for, like, in his next team.

[Danny Kelly]

You're also forgetting Kenneth Gainwell, the best running back in the NFL.

[Danny Heifetz]

Kenneth Gainwell. Free agent Kenneth Gainwell. There you go. The best running back in the NFL. Kenneth Gainwell. I. I don't know, D.K. like, do you think the Seahawks would really try to save like, $6 million to go from Ken Walker to, like, Rico and Brian Robinson? I don't know, maybe 8 million. I guess it's saved more than that.

[Craig Horlbecker]

I think so many of these examples, I'm just like, man, that is a massive downgrade. Kenneth Walk. Explosive. One of the most explosive running backs in the NFL. One of like, best tackle breakers in the NFL. And then you go to a guy like Tyler Algier or Brian Robinson, I'm like, jesus Christ. But, you know, super bowl winning teams have to make concessions at times because the price just goes up on everyone. And. And that's probably even doubly true with Walker, who now was the MVP of the Super Bowl. He was going to be expensive anyway, but I don't know. I don't know what they do. I. I'm just kind of really not looking forward to this. I don't think it's. I think it's going to be a bad move if they let him go.

[Danny Heifetz]

I Think they transition tag him for save $3 million. And what they're trying to do is they're trying to just get him to be like, I think they're trying to tell his agent we're not basing this under 4, 14.7 million. The tag. We're basing this under like 11.5 or whatever.

[Danny Kelly]

The transition tag is like being a, like a restricted free agent, right? Where they, they sign and then somebody could still offer him more money, but then the Seahawks would have a chance to match that, right?

[Danny Heifetz]

Yes. But they give up two first round picks, like, it would just like never. Oh, I just wouldn't happen. So it's, it just. Yeah, so it's, it's a little more cutthroat, but. Yeah, I don't know. And then the same thing is kind of with the jets and Breeze hall, which is, I think, the exact opposite problem, which is what do we do with this really good player, Breece hall, on the worst freaking team, who has the second worst record in the NFL and somehow fired, like a lot, a lot of coaches three weeks after the season ended and they're like, you have a ton of cap space and do we pay 12 million, 11 or 14 million dollars for Breeze hall instead of letting him go? I'm like, you have so much money. I'm like, at some point you actually don't have any good players and you should just keep your good players. And I think letting Breeze hall go is crazy too.

[Craig Horlbecker]

That just makes me so sad for Breeze Hall.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yes.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Oh, that's depressing.

[Danny Heifetz]

I just want to get out of this fucking apartment.

[Craig Horlbecker]

They should just earn some goodwill from everyone across the nation by letting Breeze hall leave. That's what I think. That, that, that would make me appreciate the Jets. I'll be nicer to you in, in all our podcasts next year if you let him go.

[Danny Kelly]

Just think about is funny though. Like, at a certain point when your team is terrible, it's like, when do you stop getting rid of your good players? Like, if you know you're not going to be good, like, where. Where do you stop? Like, where. How do you draw the line there of like, do we need Breeze Hall? No. Do we need to pay him? Probably not. Well, here's the thing then. We literally have no good players.

[Danny Heifetz]

I think that the, the not paying running backs thing, I think the pendulum has swung too far because I think it. Running backs are not paid a lot for multiple reasons. We don't have to get all of it, but it's like they get hurt they depend on other positions. They're, you know, they're replaceable. You get rookies to do it. But you also do want running backs who are veteran enough to be able. Like right now it's like you do need running backs that are good enough to block and be on there in passing downs and know what they're doing. And you want explosive players. And it's at the point where the part, the money I think is almost distracting because it's. The dollar amount doesn't matter. It's a.

[Craig Horlbecker]

It paid like a third string corner.

[Danny Heifetz]

Well, that's the thing. It's about the percentage of the salary cap. It's just like resource allocation. So it's like Adrian Peterson was paid about 14 and a half million dollars in 2011 or 2012. That was when the salary cap was $120 million. The salary cap is now like $305 million. So the salary cap is almost three times higher when you know what I mean. So it's like the average running back is getting, has gotten like a 30% raise in 10 or 12 years, but the salary cap has tripled. So I'm like, oh, is pretzel worth 5%? It's not about the money. Is he worth 5% of your roster? Yeah, I think he is.

[Danny Kelly]

I don't know. I would say the, the way that running backs are used is different now than Adrian Peterson. Maybe we're going back towards that era of like run heavy football, but like the Bell Cow do it all Adrian Peterson types. Yeah, they're kind of extinct now. And also I think it depends on if your team is good. Like we said this early, like if the team is good, the running back is. You can make the case for paying a running back when your team is good. Sacred on the Eagles makes sense. But like the jets, do you want to be spending 10% of your 8% of your team salary on a solid running back when you know you're not in a win now mode?

[Danny Heifetz]

I don't know. I would spend five and that's kind of what it is. It's four and a half.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

Maybe it just because here's the thing, you have good offensive line and you want to get a quarterback and you need to get it. You need to develop a thing where quarterbacks can succeed.

[Danny Kelly]

And I.

[Danny Heifetz]

We'll see. It doesn't matter. But overall I think the truth is if Briesol went to free agency, he'd get paid more than the eleven and a half or fourteen million dollars anyway. And so we probably get about that. So I don't know the jets. Actually, you know what? Jets just let him go. Just let him go. You know how much more fun it would be for us if we.

[Craig Horlbecker]

I just don't want him on the jets anymore. Okay, other Wilson go to. While you're at it, just, just abolish the Jets.

[Danny Heifetz]

Just God, get rid of them other tag situations. Let's just other players gonna get booped and we might as well just. I mean George Pickens. The Dallas is going to keep Pickens. Kyle Pitts is not going to let leave Atlanta. The Colts are probably going to try to franchise tag Alec Pierce and then like resign Daniel Jones.

[Danny Kelly]

Can you franchise tag one player and transition tag another?

[Danny Heifetz]

I. No, you have to use one. One is. There's like two or three kinds. You can only use one of the kinds on one player.

[Danny Kelly]

Got it.

[Danny Heifetz]

And that's a whole thing. But I think that part of me just thinks they'll keep Alec Pierce, which again sucks because it'd be cool to see him go somewhere else.

[Craig Horlbecker]

But yeah, the Daniel Jones domino is going to be interesting. Do you think his. Is he going to get a lot of interest on the open market anyway? He's coming off of an Achilles tear.

[Danny Heifetz]

I don't. It's so weird to think like. I guess the flip side is. Let me give you a hypothetical. What would the Colts pay Daniel Jones if he had never torn his Achilles?

[Craig Horlbecker]

A lot.

[Danny Heifetz]

And they just like were. They weren't as like, would they get 60 mil? Yeah, probably 50. 50. He probably wouldn't get 60 million a year. Probably ask for like Trevor Lawrence's contract. Like 50, like Brock Purdy, 55 or so million a year.

[Danny Kelly]

You think so? God, that feels high.

[Danny Heifetz]

Well, here's the thing. It's about the. It's about leverage. The franchise tag is $48 million.

[Craig Horlbecker]

They're like, oh, so you're gonna go draft a quarterback. Oh, sorry, you don't have first round pick for the next two years.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah. What are you gonna do?

[Danny Kelly]

Start Sauce Gardner at quarterback?

[Danny Heifetz]

Exactly. So if they didn't have the thing, it's like Daniel Jones like, I want the Brock Purdy deal. That's the starting point. Like 55,250 million over five years probably.

[Danny Kelly]

I think it makes sense for them to tag him. Like this is a classic tag situation to me for Daniel Jones.

[Danny Heifetz]

Right, I know, but then you lose Alec Perry. It's a whole thing. The Colts are in a bad spot. Don't give up two first round picks for cornerback the first time you ever start 7 and 1 or whatever other stuff does DK the Seahawks hired the 49ers tight end coach.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Yes.

[Danny Heifetz]

As your new offensive coordinator.

[Craig Horlbecker]

This is an interesting one. I mean we don't know a ton about this guy from a play calling point of view. Everything I've read about him, his name is Brian Fleury, by the way. He was the tight ends coach slash run game coordinator for the 49ers, which I love. Anybody close to Shanahan feel good about that?

[Danny Heifetz]

And you take him from Shanahan?

[Craig Horlbecker]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're stealing him from the 49.

[Danny Heifetz]

Didn't take enough from San Francisco in the last six weeks.

[Craig Horlbecker]

It's an interesting one though. Yeah. Because he. Relative unknown guy. I didn't hear about him really much before this. And so the fact that Seahawks went out of their organization to, to replace Kubiak because there was a lot of indication, I think early on that they wanted to replace Kubiak with one of their guys from in inside the organization and then they just go and hire this tight ends coach from the 49ers. So that felt a little bit random just on, on the outside looking in. But everything I've seen about him, he's super detail oriented, which I think just fits the Mike McDonald thing. It's just kind of like his deal. The everybody's got to be on their, you know, on their game, on every little detail. And the other thing that I saw thrown out there, which I think does resonate really strongly with me, is the tight ends coaches are. And he was a tight ends coach slash run game coordinator. Tight ends in general, you have to know both offensive line stuff in terms of how the offense works to the offensive line, all the blocking schemes and everything, and also the past game stuff. So he, he comes from a point of view of, you know, coaching tight ends where you have to be kind of really involved with both the passing game and the run game. So I think that does make a lot of sense and it'll be interesting to see how this goes. Don't know a ton about him, but cautiously optimistic. I guess.

[Danny Kelly]

We need to do a count of how many teams have somebody that came from the McVeigh Shanahan coaching tree because we're approaching like 50% of the league.

[Danny Heifetz]

It's a bubble.

[Danny Kelly]

Has somebody, it's a bubble. Like soon it's just only going to be Kyle Shanahan and Sean McVay's friends coaching every team in the NFL.

[Danny Heifetz]

We're going to be like the first people to check in on Arizona Cardinals coaching staff and like, seven years, no one's been there, and it's just like a bunch of strippers. Like, I have four houses.

[Danny Kelly]

Yes.

[Craig Horlbecker]

You know, the only guy who hasn't worked from that entire tree is now. I can't even remember his name. That just tells you a lot. The Seahawks offensive coordinator that went over to the Bears.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, Shane Waldron.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Yes. Yes. I can't remember his name.

[Danny Heifetz]

Shane. Are we live?

[Danny Kelly]

Wal.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Great.

[Danny Kelly]

The other guy.

[Danny Heifetz]

Dude, that. That clip has aged even worse now that Jackson, Smith and Jigba Yards in a single season. And Shane Walter just used him as a screen guy. Like D. Eskridge.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. I mean, there's a couple. It's not like they're all hits. Like, you know, Nick Kaylee in Houston. I don't know if he, like. We'll see with that. There's like, Zach Robinson went to Atlanta, now he's on Tampa as the offensive coordinator.

[Commercial Announcer]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

But, yeah, it's just crazy.

[Danny Heifetz]

Do the. The six degrees of Sean McVeigh. That actually should do that later this summer.

[Danny Kelly]

It's gonna look like a game of. We should do the Game of Thrones family tree.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Yeah, yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

Of course.

[Danny Kelly]

Of Shanahan. It's like the Targaryens and the Lannisters. Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

So he's whose cousin's college roommate.

[Danny Kelly]

You guys watching the new Game of Thrones show? It's good.

[Danny Heifetz]

I'm going to start it.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Craig. Really good.

[Danny Kelly]

It's fun.

[Craig Horlbecker]

This last episode. Holy shit. People were talking about it. I did not see it yet, so don't give me spoilers.

[Danny Heifetz]

I might binge the whole thing.

[Danny Kelly]

I have a take, but I'll hold it.

[Danny Heifetz]

All right. I'll try to watch it actually, before.

[Danny Kelly]

Sure. They're like 30 minutes.

[Danny Heifetz]

It's incredible.

[Craig Horlbecker]

That's.

[Danny Heifetz]

I'm glad they're doing that.

[Danny Kelly]

That.

[Danny Heifetz]

The bear. Shout out the bear for getting that done. We're making dramas. 30 minutes. Also our next episode, we're gonna be in Indianapolis, so we're gonna have another episode on Monday with our combine preview, and then we're gonna be in Indianapolis next week for the combine, so we'll talk a bunch of draft and see if we can learn anything. And I want to talk to Sonny Styles, the Ohio State linebacker. I don't know if you guys saw, but Sonny. Sonny Jurgensen, the quarterback of Washington from, like, 80 years ago passed away. And Sonny Jurgensen was the impetus for the infamous me calling him Sonny Jurgensen, which led to Sonny and Cher and the most feedback I've ever Received on an individual episode of this podcast was you guys. Craig calling me a maniac for saying it was Sonny and Cher.

[Danny Kelly]

I stand by it.

[Craig Horlbecker]

So I just, I just looked up Sonny. Sonny. Now, now you.

[Danny Kelly]

Sonny Corleone.

[Danny Heifetz]

Corleone. Marlon Brando does not say anything normally. Okay, like, sorry.

[Danny Kelly]

Everyone in the movie calls him Sonny.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Sonny's name. Did you guys know this? Christian Adolf Jurgensen.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Craig Horlbecker]

What?

[Danny Heifetz]

That's.

[Craig Horlbecker]

It's good that you went by Sunny. Is that all I'm gonna say?

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, that's tough. Is it? If we should do a draft of the names, you at least want to name your child, right?

[Danny Heifetz]

Well that's, that's an all timer.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Just defend a lot of.

[Danny Kelly]

Is Adolf still top five?

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, it's definitely a generational pick. Certainly the generation.

[Danny Kelly]

Because the key is specificity. Like you wouldn't like, you could still name your kid Jeff because it's not a specific enough name to think about. Jeffrey Epstein or something like that. You know what I mean? Adolf takes you right there.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Satan maybe like, oh, oh, Satan. O.J. would be tough.

[Danny Heifetz]

O.J. no, but O.J. i think O.J. is like not even top a top four anymore.

[Danny Kelly]

Well, we should do this. Can we do this on the next episode? I want to. Let's draft.

[Danny Heifetz]

Email us in names you couldn't do. Because you know what I was thinking about? I was thinking about all the other dudes named Jeff Epstein. It's not a, it's a pretty common name, right? In Florida.

[Danny Kelly]

Thousands of them. Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

There are. Epstein's a very common last name. Jeff Epstein. And part of me is the only doctors and lawyers and people who have to email people all the time. We just named Jeff Epstein and like that.

[Danny Kelly]

I.

[Danny Heifetz]

What are those guys doing?

[Danny Kelly]

Weinstein. Also common last name.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Also Jerry Sandusky.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah. That radio announcer.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Reporter. Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

It's like the tough beat Office space. The Michael Bolton's. Like, why do I have to change my name?

[Craig Horlbecker]

He's the one who sucks. Yeah. Anyway, Adolf, it's, it's still up there.

[Danny Heifetz]

Craig.

[Craig Horlbecker]

I think you just slot that into number one right away.

[Danny Heifetz]

Well, he was born in 1934.

[Craig Horlbecker]

No, I know. I'm not saying he was named after Adolf Hitler. I'm just saying, you know, 1934 is.

[Danny Kelly]

Kind of on the cusp. I don't know.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Could have been on the cusp.

[Danny Kelly]

Maybe they weren't watching the news.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Because there's no news to watch. That's tight. That's close. That's a close call. We might retroactively have to cancel his parents.

[Danny Heifetz]

There are.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Yeah, there's like a. There's a gray area.

[Danny Kelly]

Right, Right.

[Craig Horlbecker]

All right.

[Danny Heifetz]

Anyway, so rip to Sonny Jurgensen. This episode is brought to you by TaxAct. TaxAct helps tackle taxes, guiding you step by step so you can get your maximum refund, get tips along the way, add expert assist to talk to tax experts or let our experts do your taxes for you with expert full service. TaxAct helps you find the deductions and credits you deserve so you can get them over with. Visit taxact.com to learn more. Conditions apply. See taxact.com for details.

[Sponsor Announcer]

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[Danny Heifetz]

Now the other thing the the Athletic Ian o' Connor at the Athletic had a story about John Harbaugh that I want. We didn't talk about this, but the continuing pushing of Joe Shane, the former, well, Giants gm, to just the absolute cut corner of the bedroom where is just incredible because the, the gap between them hiring him and John Harbaugh holding out for his contract like, nope, I've got to report to the ownership. And then them trotting out Joe Shane kind of pathetically at the press conference to let him introduce the coach instead of the.

[Danny Kelly]

He's just waving like the queen.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yes. Like just ceremonial. And I'm like, it's always the owner introducing the coach, never the gm. And they just trotted out Joe like look, see. And now John Harbaugh's this story where it's in o' Connor but like this is about as much like John Harbaugh's voice as you'll see in a story. And there's a lot of pieces of it. I wanted to start with Joe Shane who is like now they hired Donna Ponte who's like this nf, this executive in the NFL League office bigwig. And now it's like she reports to John Harbaugh and has all the responsibilities of the GM except scouting, which is just Joe Shane reports to her and she reports to John. And so it's like, I can't just know if Joe Shane does nothing here anymore.

[Craig Horlbecker]

So do you personally take your scouting reports to John Harbaugh?

[Danny Heifetz]

Well, I have my scouts do that.

[Danny Kelly]

No.

[Danny Heifetz]

But my assistant do that.

[Danny Kelly]

I hand them to Don and then Don throws them in the trash and then they do whatever they want.

[Craig Horlbecker]

I think the Bobs from Office Space have to be some of the best characters of all time. So what would you say you do here?

[Danny Heifetz]

It's incredible.

[Danny Kelly]

There were some other funny things from this story. Dude, John Harbaugh, 63 years old, works out like a madman. There was a whole report, there was a whole section in it about like, what he does to stay physically fit. He arrives at the team facility at 4am arrives at 4am this is some Mark Wahlberg.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

He starts his morning by. He works out with the strength and conditioning staff. He does three week cycles. It's like all this crazy. He does Mondays are circuit training. Tuesdays, leg days, Wednesday, upper body Thursday, cardio Fridays he does core shoulders and arms. They said he looks like five days a week. Yes. Well, I guess there's a cardio day mixed in there.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Oh, sure. Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

We also, we got an insight to his breakfast, which is a big deal for the show. John Harbaugh's breakfast. Energy bars, oat bars and oatmeal packs. So big oat guy bland. I know a little bit more by.

[Craig Horlbecker]

The time 7 o' clock rolls around. Day one number done. He's already done. I'm already on.

[Danny Kelly]

Literally, he, I mean, he has a full work day before noon. There's also a great quote in there about how they obviously lost. He wanted to bring Todd Monk in his OC who went, and he's now the head coach of the Browns. So they, so they, and they brought in Matt Nagy. And there's a quote that's jumped out to me about from Harbaugh talking about magnet Matt Nagy. And he says, I'm hoping he'll be the best offensive coordinator to ever coach the game. That's what we're shooting for.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Sure.

[Danny Kelly]

Dude. The Harbaughs are the best.

[Danny Heifetz]

Again, Jim gets all the credit. But John, I read that. I'm like, yeah, this guy, this guy's still like lightly tethered reality.

[Craig Horlbecker]

What was the quote? That the Harbaugh quote is like attack the day. Like it's never been attacked before.

[Danny Kelly]

It's oh, it's like, oh.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Never before seen. I gotta look this up.

[Danny Heifetz]

The other one, the Harbaugh thing, I was reminded reading the story, two things that John, the. John Harbaugh's father thought he'd be a coach, and John Harbaugh's mom thought he'd be a senator, which I try to keep in mind. And also that the Giants are going to get so much better, and I'm thrilled and they will be competitive. Maybe they won't win a Super bowl, whatever, but I'm like, they will be better. The other thing I thought reading this, Craig, I'm so glad you. The Matt Nagy thing, honestly, the thing that just sideswiped me was that John Harbaugh's wife, they said, is a Brooklyn Nets fan.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, I did see that.

[Danny Heifetz]

I am from New York. I don't know any. I don't know one person. Well, actually, no, I know one person, but I know, like, dozens of people who live in New York City. Probably like my whole. I probably know, like, I guess 100, maybe. 100. I literally don't know one person who's roots for the Nets. I don't think I've met a Nets fan in New York. I have, and she's, I believe, from Michigan. Like, John Harbaugh met his wife, I believe, in western Michigan.

[Danny Kelly]

And I was going to ask, is she from.

[Danny Heifetz]

I think she's from western Michigan. I have, but. But that doesn't make sense, because who.

[Danny Kelly]

Root.

[Danny Heifetz]

Who rooted for the New Jersey nets in the 1980s? That doesn't make sense either. I'm kind of shy. I don't understand this, and I kind of need to find.

[Danny Kelly]

Can you name a Brooklyn Net?

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh, right now? Oh, my God. I could name, like, all of them from 2021.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Craig. I could name the whole goddamn starting lineup.

[Danny Kelly]

Let's hear it.

[Craig Horlbecker]

No, I can't. Wow.

[Danny Heifetz]

I can name.

[Craig Horlbecker]

When was last night. Is Kevin Durant on the Brooklyn Nets?

[Danny Kelly]

He's not. That was, like, three teams ago.

[Danny Heifetz]

Can I Google it? I actually don't know any one of the Nets. Right.

[Danny Kelly]

The only Net I can name is Michael Porter Jr. That's the only one.

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh, my God, That's.

[Craig Horlbecker]

I'm gonna go ahead and I'm gonna. I'm gonna give you some of these names. Oh, my God, Here we go. Nick Claxton.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, sure.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Noah Clowney.

[Danny Kelly]

Okay.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Igor demon. E.J. little. Terrence Mann. Tyrese Martin.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, former Clipper Terrence Man.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Josh Minot. Michael Porter Jr. Drake Powell. Ben Seraph.

[Danny Kelly]

Dude, you know, we don't talk about enough. Is that Shay Gilgis Alexander was just on the Clippers.

[Danny Heifetz]

Shout out to our late colleague Jonathan Sharks, who was the first person to tell me that SGA was going to win MVP of the NBA.

[Danny Kelly]

And then I still like, like the Clippers just drafted like the best player in the NBA and just traded them.

[Danny Heifetz]

But wasn't. Wasn't that Jerry west who saw it like, because Jerry west found Clay. Jerry west offered to get fired by the warriors if they didn't take Clay. And then Jerry west found Kobe, Klay, Thompson and Curry. And then like went to the Clippers, found SGA and then they got rid of him and they fucking traded him away.

[Danny Kelly]

Unreal.

[Danny Heifetz]

It's probably a bad idea.

[Craig Horlbecker]

I know this is not breaking new ground, Craig, but some of the body types in the NBA are crazy. I'm just looking down the list here. Michael Porter, 610, 218. Igor demon or demon is 68200, dude.

[Danny Heifetz]

Well, that's all. All NFL defensive ends are just players who are not tall enough to become.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Zaire Williams, six nine, 185 pounds.

[Danny Heifetz]

That's crazy, dude.

[Danny Kelly]

The Shay Gilgis Alexander trade. Hi Fitz. Do you know what the. What. What OKC got and what the Clippers got?

[Danny Heifetz]

I believe I. I actually remember where I was vividly and I think I could tell you it was because it was Kawhi signed there under the deal and it was like, oh, give me Paul George. It was Paul George and I believe a first in what, 20, 23, 25, 27 and 29.

[Danny Kelly]

Five first round picks. Five, five first round picks. Shay Gilgeous Alexander, who is the MVP of the league, and also Danilo Gallinari for Paul George.

[Danny Heifetz]

That's probably one of the worst trades of all time.

[Craig Horlbecker]

The MVP and five probably one of.

[Danny Heifetz]

The worst trades of all time.

[Danny Kelly]

Fucking crazy.

[Danny Heifetz]

5. The NBA. The NBA. I could talk a long time about this, but next time Bill comes on I want to ask him about like how I don't understand the willingness which. Which. With which teams give away first round picks is so funny to me. And the fact that the Thunder, they still have the most picks in the NBA, right?

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, something like that.

[Danny Heifetz]

Has anyone learned anything from that? Like has anyone learned anything from the fact that the Thunder just have all these picks?

[Danny Kelly]

They are 12. They have 12 or 13 first round picks over the next seven years.

[Danny Heifetz]

If, if the Thunder were the Sixers, if the Sixers had done with Daryl Morey and like the process. Yeah, what the Thunder had done, we would say the Thunder are like the best rebuild in the history of sports. Where they drafted Harden and Durant and Russell Westbrook got rid of them and then just draft and then we'll never. Fair.

[Danny Kelly]

Okay.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, fair. All right. I'll give you this.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Don't you dare.

[Danny Kelly]

You drafted him.

[Danny Heifetz]

Fair enough.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Right.

[Danny Heifetz]

Fair enough. Inherited him. But like just the idea that the Thunder.

[Danny Kelly]

They didn't draft Russell Westbrook either. He was also Sonic.

[Craig Horlbecker]

That's right.

[Danny Heifetz]

Man, that's. That's. Sorry, dk. That sucks.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Yeah. You should be quiet.

[Danny Heifetz]

Right. Just.

[Danny Kelly]

I just.

[Danny Heifetz]

It bothers me that no one's learned a lesson from this because if the Sixers did it, we. No one would ever shut the up. If indeed and Ben Simmons have won a title. The Thunder are doing it way better than the Sixers ever did.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Craig, who. Who's going to be the MVP of.

[Danny Kelly]

The season this year in the NBA? Yeah, I think it's going to be Shea.

[Danny Heifetz]

Or.

[Danny Kelly]

We'Re just talking.

[Danny Heifetz]

Bill and Zach were just talking about this. No one knows because if Jokic misses like one or two more games, he's not eligible.

[Danny Kelly]

It's not going to be.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, so it's sga. But if SGA misses seven games, then no one has any idea because there.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Hasn'T been an American win it since 2017. 18.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, why could you have. Jokic.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Yanich. Yanich. Jokic. Jokic.

[Danny Heifetz]

This is what people are mad about.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Jokic and Shay.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

The. My other. You know what it. We'll keep talking. Terence Mann on the Brooklyn Nets. You know how much money he makes? More than we're talking about the franchise.

[Danny Kelly]

Tag for Breeze hall, the NBA salary.

[Danny Heifetz]

Terrence man makes 14 and a half million dollars a year.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. Liz the other day was talking to me about. We were talking about all the people that Kendall Jenner had dated and Devin Booker came up. She knows who Devin Booker is. And she was like, how much does Devin Booker, like, make? And I was like, oh, you know, like 60 million bucks. She was like, like, over how many years? And I was like, in one year he makes $60 million a year. She's like, he makes $60 million a year.

[Danny Heifetz]

Is the tagline for the Wolf of Wall Street. It's like, I made $49 million for his matters. Three shy of a million a week.

[Craig Horlbecker]

I'm like, are NBA contracts crazier than MLB contracts or is MLB just in a different stratosphere?

[Danny Kelly]

MLB is bizarre because you can do like the like 10, 12, 14 year deals.

[Danny Heifetz]

And the idea of investing in any individual person over a 12 or 13 year period blows my mind. And I still don't totally understand it.

[Craig Horlbecker]

But like, when's Bobby Bonilla day? That's gonna be coming up Again pretty soon.

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh, yeah, Bobby. Well, that was a good deal for the Mets anyway. More Terence Mann contracts or should we keep going?

[Danny Kelly]

We should keep going.

[Danny Heifetz]

Okay, Just checking. You never know. Maybe people wanted more. All right, the other. I couldn't resist this. Derek Carr said he would unretire to win a Super Bowl.

[Danny Kelly]

Me too.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Sure, yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

Why not? Which I thought was funny because I was like, okay, so which quarterback do you want to back up?

[Craig Horlbecker]

Right. What team is actually realistic? Is there a team that's actually realistic that he could land on?

[Danny Kelly]

The only one to me that would make sense if the team actually has to be decent enough to have a shot at winning a playoff game and he could potentially start is Minnesota.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, I think, I think that's Minnesota's the. Exactly.

[Craig Horlbecker]

It's end point for so many quarterbacks this year. There's like rumors or whatever talk that Aaron Rodgers is going to want to try and go there instead of going back to the Steel.

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh, that's the pull of a full circle career for the Brett Favre trifecta Vikings.

[Danny Kelly]

But yeah, there's. Where's Derek Carr gonna go? All the teams who need quarterbacks, Jets, Dolphins, Browns, Cardinals. He's not going to go to any of those.

[Danny Heifetz]

Derek Carr said in a show with his brother, he's a podcast with his brother David. And he said, would I unretire? Yes. Would I do it for anybody? Absolutely not. I have to be healthy and I'd want a chance to win a Super Bowl. Is it bad if I think he would in fact do it for anyone? He had a shoulder injury.

[Danny Kelly]

He claims he's healthy now.

[Danny Heifetz]

He couldn't throw football like 6 months ago or 8 months ago or whatever. And now he says he's back. But like the, the Colts, you tell me if anyone other than the Browns offered Derek Carr starting job, he'd say no.

[Danny Kelly]

The Cardinals.

[Craig Horlbecker]

No, they stink.

[Danny Kelly]

No, there's no one. It's just Minnesota.

[Danny Heifetz]

Well, I think he's like Pittsburgh thing. You can finesse. I think if he gets offered a starting job, he would probably.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Craig, Pittsburgh likes guys that fit the Pittsburgh ethos or whatever. The Pittsburgh identity. And he is not that.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, I mean if, if, like three months ago somebody told me that in 2026 your starting quarterback will be Derek Carr, coached by Mike McCarthy. I'd probably out of retirement, Grand Canyon.

[Danny Heifetz]

You would have been upset about that in 2019. God. Anyway, Godspeed, Derek Carr. I do think he'll be back. I think, honestly, I do think it.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Does feel like it.

[Danny Heifetz]

I think someone will send the Saints a fifth round pick and they will get Derek Carr and he will be the answer to someone the other1 so NF Cam [e-mail] reported that the Travis Hunter will be a full time cornerback part time receiver this year.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Tough timing for me personally right after we had this discussion.

[Danny Heifetz]

It wasn't ideal for you.

[Craig Horlbecker]

I might double down anyway you should inspired us.

[Danny Heifetz]

You were so mad when I said this that you were like we should keep track of all our bets this year and this will be the first I will say unless the Jaguars trade Brian Thomas, they should do this. Like I do think this is what Travis it's crazy.

[Craig Horlbecker]

They're already capitulating.

[Danny Heifetz]

I think that's just. I think actually not capitulating would be just like a shirking responsibilities. Like they.

[Craig Horlbecker]

I know they're probably doing the right thing here but the thesis around this trade up and draft pick was he's going to change football as we know it. He's going to be a superstar at two positions now they're like actually nevermind, we'll just start him.

[Danny Kelly]

They're like ah, actually Jacoby Myers and Parker Washington are better than right.

[Danny Heifetz]

So whoopsie daisy. Okay, can I read you before we do emails, I want to read you. This is like an email from me. I wrote to you guys and I wanted to. I was reading this thing. I would never normally bring this up on the show but it's like very inside baseball. There's a lot of drama at the union. The nflpa there's drama and like people don't like JC Treader and there's all these people that are fired anyway. They this week there was a. The nflpa. The chief of security was fired. His name is. Where is it? Craig. Oh, his name's Craig. Actually just Craig. Craig Jones.

[Craig Horlbecker]

And so Craig less famous than Craig Horlbeck.

[Danny Heifetz]

So that's for sure.

[Danny Kelly]

Maybe not anymore.

[Danny Heifetz]

There you go. So I was just reading this story.

[Craig Horlbecker]

No, he's infamous now. Craig.

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh dude. So I was reading the story and these emails got leaked. The I don't know why but the head of the NFLPA security writes like fucking William Shakespeare. I have never in my life seen someone write emails the way. Can I read you one of the emails this man sent in an internal NFLPA thing that came out. I want to read this to you. I shit you not. This is the email. So it's about a thread where he's making. He's like mocking JC Treader who's like running the NFLPA and it Literally says, and what of JC Treader? He is the progenitor of this whole tawdry episode of posiers. 30 pieces of silver, player leadership, monk and avarice. What of him? God bless the NFLPA so that it may return to its hallowed annals.

[Craig Horlbecker]

What the fuck? It was like overqualified. You know, there's like that meme of the. The drummer that's like wearing a kid's costume for a kid's party is like shredding. This is like this guy, the chief of security, is the greatest writer of all time.

[Danny Kelly]

Do you think he like threw this into GPT and was like Shakespeare ify this or.

[Danny Heifetz]

Honestly, I can't reading these emails. He said he sent this long email this week too. That was like a whole thing. I won't read the whole thing, but I have to. Can I read part of it?

[Craig Horlbecker]

I like how he spelled posers posters.

[Danny Heifetz]

With an e to you. I I. Dude, avarice in a work email. And avarice.

[Craig Horlbecker]

I gotta use that word more.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

You sent this so long email I.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Have to read written by Tolkien. Tolkien.

[Danny Heifetz]

It is like Jared. Dude, there's another part that is like Jared Tolkien. I watched Lord of the Rings.

[Craig Horlbecker]

He poured all his mank and avarice into the ring. Into the.

[Danny Kelly]

I've never even heard the word mank.

[Danny Heifetz]

I had to Google it. What is it? M A, N, Q, U, E. It.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Means someone who failed to live up to their potential.

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh, like a Kyle Pitts.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, the dictionary is telling me that it's pronounced monkey.

[Danny Heifetz]

Sorry, monkey and avarice. Of course it is, because it's iambic pentameter.

[Danny Kelly]

Monkey, dude.

[Danny Heifetz]

Wait, so this is the email he sent this week.

[Craig Horlbecker]

And this is progenitor of this whole tawdry episode of Tawdry.

[Danny Kelly]

This guy's kind of incredible.

[Danny Heifetz]

The section from the section from this week's email that I wanted Charlatans brought in by Lloyd Howell in his attempt to pimp like Anamika Gupta and Matt Curtin still lurk the halls of the nflpa.

[Craig Horlbecker]

What in the hell is this guy's deal?

[Danny Heifetz]

Who is this guy? And he says, to make matters worse, the eunuch esque leadership of David White and Jalen Mabin and the jaded leadership of the HR Department, morale is low and absence of prodigious leadership akin to Gene Upshaw and Demori Smith. But players of today and storied players of yesteryear don't despair or lose faith.

[Craig Horlbecker]

In the really did, like, write a. Write a work email in JRR Tolkien language.

[Danny Heifetz]

This is crazy.

[Craig Horlbecker]

By the way, did we ever figure out how to say Tolkien? I think we landed on Tolkien. It was like actually Tolkien or something.

[Danny Kelly]

Tolkien. Right, Tolkien. Anyway, you know what's funny? I found out, I read this article on the Ringer about Lord of the Rings the other day. Did you guys know that the Beatles in the 1960s wanted to make the Lord of the Rings into movies with them starring as certain characters in the movie?

[Danny Heifetz]

No.

[Danny Kelly]

Yes. The Beatles loved Lord of the Rings and they wanted to make a Lord of the Rings film and they wanted Stanley Kubrick to direct it and they wanted to play various characters. It was like George R.R. martin was going to be Gandalf. I mean. Sorry, George Harrison was going to be Gandalf. Paul was going to be Frodo or something.

[Craig Horlbecker]

It's like they were too tall.

[Danny Kelly]

They weren't even all going to be hobbits. They were just gonna be like random characters in the movie. It's crazy.

[Danny Heifetz]

Stanley Kubrick would have directed it.

[Craig Horlbecker]

That movie probably would have been good in the 60s. Yeah, maybe. You also know Led Zeppelin wrote a lot of their lyrics and stuff are about Lord of the Rings. Oh, ramble on. Talks about. Talks about the books.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, led Zeppelin posers. 30 pieces of silver Mon and Avis Mon Monke. I'm not over this.

[Craig Horlbecker]

I want to start using Try more often.

[Danny Heifetz]

Try.

[Danny Kelly]

But Tolkien was not into the idea of the Beatles doing the movie. He didn't want.

[Danny Heifetz]

He was alive.

[Craig Horlbecker]

He's like, they have a freaking. Their name is a pun.

[Danny Kelly]

He said he didn't. He didn't want to see, like. He said he didn't want to see a hippie Middle Earth.

[Danny Heifetz]

Honestly, the fact that he was alive to reject it alone is wild.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Don't want you damn hippies.

[Danny Heifetz]

Damn it. Put some shoes on.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Take a shower, you damn hippies.

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh my God. Wow, that's wild.

[Craig Horlbecker]

So wait, I don't. I can't even tell what. What this is about. Well, I. I lost track cuz I.

[Danny Heifetz]

Was not worth getting into. There's just. The NFOPA is just melting down.

[Danny Kelly]

He's mad.

[Danny Heifetz]

He's upset.

[Danny Kelly]

He's mad.

[Danny Heifetz]

Did you not. Sorry. Fine. Dk, you must have not. Did you not understand what he meant when he said this whole tawdry episode of posers? 30 pieces of silver monkey at avarice.

[Danny Kelly]

I love 30 pieces of silver.

[Craig Horlbecker]

30 pieces.

[Danny Heifetz]

Silver was like. I. I just kind of was like scrolling on my phone reading this. I'm like, what the fuck? It was like 30 pieces.

[Craig Horlbecker]

That's what Judas paid to betray. Jesus Christ. Oh.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, Is that right?

[Craig Horlbecker]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, my God.

[Craig Horlbecker]

He's really unbelievable.

[Danny Kelly]

He's going deep. Why is he the head of security for the NFL?

[Danny Heifetz]

Who is this man? We got to get him on the show. We have to get this guy on. Craig. Craig Jones. If this makes it to you. You were invited to the.

[Danny Kelly]

Who are you? That feels like a fake name. Who is this?

[Danny Heifetz]

I want to talk to you about your writing style. It's so true. It's either he is like a absolute Tolkien Shakespeare head or he is chatgpt. And he.

[Danny Kelly]

And he just said, yeah, spice this up for me.

[Danny Heifetz]

30 pieces. We should do that. And I'm going to do that with my intros now I'm just going to like.

[Danny Kelly]

He also threw in his middle name to end the email. Craig Hampton Jones.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Wild.

[Danny Heifetz]

Anyway, yeah, shout out to Craig Jones. Craig Hampton Jones for. I just got. It's so good. Oh, dude, I'm sorry. I'm reading other parts of the letter now. I will be always. He said when he wrote, I will always be indebted to the quasar light of your leadership.

[Craig Horlbecker]

The what?

[Danny Heifetz]

I don't even know Kosar.

[Danny Kelly]

I think this guy needs a pod dude.

[Danny Heifetz]

He might.

[Craig Horlbecker]

I want to hear him talk about anything now, honestly.

[Danny Heifetz]

Anyway, Craig Jones hit us up. Email Ringer fans.

[Craig Horlbecker]

The Eunuch Esque Leadership Unic Ask Leadership is wild.

[Danny Heifetz]

Somewhere out there is a Chevy truck and the person who drives it, well, that's a Chevy person. You probably know one, your buddy, your sister. Ones who always show up to the first to rise, the last to leave.

[Craig Horlbecker]

They always have that little extra something.

[Danny Heifetz]

And maybe you've got it too. Chevrolet together. Let's drive. Visit chevy.com trucks to explore the lineup.

[Sponsor Announcer]

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[Danny Heifetz]

All right, you wanna do some emails before we get outta here?

[Craig Horlbecker]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Okay.

[Danny Heifetz]

We got an email from Doug Debone. So we were talking about how the Girl Scouts are kind of like the Wire where it's like a lot of real estate based.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Price of the brick went up.

[Danny Heifetz]

Price of the brick going up.

[Danny Kelly]

I just had a girl Scout Cookie last night. The lemon one. Never had it before. It's good.

[Danny Heifetz]

I gotta get one.

[Craig Horlbecker]

I just ate two boxes or actually four boxes of girl Scout cookies over the last, like, week.

[Danny Kelly]

You ate four boxes over the.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Well, not by myself, but my family did.

[Danny Heifetz]

No, that's the kind of thing you say when you do in the immediate walk.

[Craig Horlbecker]

I ate most of them.

[Danny Kelly]

All right. What kind?

[Craig Horlbecker]

Oh, shit. There was. I can't remember the names of them. The two chocolatey ones.

[Danny Kelly]

Thin mints.

[Danny Heifetz]

Tag alongs.

[Craig Horlbecker]

No, not. Not Thin Mints. I don't like mint in chocolate. I'm not into that. Wow.

[Danny Heifetz]

Mint is mantra of dessert. Some people just can't.

[Craig Horlbecker]

It is kind of. I think that's a good combo or as a good.

[Danny Kelly]

You don't like mint chocolate chip ice cream?

[Craig Horlbecker]

No, I can't stand it. But I will eat or will chew on mint flavored gum. But I think mint, really, any fruity flavor in chocolate is not good to me.

[Danny Heifetz]

Do you guys like debris in your ice cream?

[Craig Horlbecker]

Debris?

[Danny Heifetz]

Like, like, do you want like a pure debris? Like, you know, brownie. Brownie bits, cookie dough.

[Danny Kelly]

I am the purist.

[Craig Horlbecker]

I love it.

[Danny Kelly]

I want a. A pure scoop of vanilla ice cream in a bowl. And it's the best. It's the best flavor there is.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Ben Solak take. I like it.

[Danny Kelly]

Vanilla, I think, is the best ice cream flavor.

[Danny Heifetz]

Vanilla is underrated. Vanilla is one of those words where it's vanilla. It's like, oh, it's boring. It's like vanilla is incredibly hard to get and hard to grow.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Cookies and cream. Cookie cookie dough in vanilla ice cream or whatever kind of ice cream. All that stuff is delicious.

[Danny Kelly]

I'm more okay if it's. If it's a part of the actual flavor. Like, if it is a part of the recipe. Like, I love cookies and cream for flavor. I don't like toppings on ice cream. I don't like when it's like you got gummy worms and graham crackers and butterfingers on it. I don't like that at all.

[Craig Horlbecker]

What are you, six? Come on, get these gummy worms.

[Danny Kelly]

People scooping cereal on top of their ice cream and adding like. Like goobers on there. I don't need any of that.

[Craig Horlbecker]

I love that.

[Danny Heifetz]

I don't want. I don't want gummy bears or anything, but I love that. I love when there's like a bunch of stuff in an ice.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Have you ever had tin roof Sunday?

[Danny Heifetz]

A what?

[Craig Horlbecker]

Oh, it's good. Go look it up. Tin roof sundae. It's like The RC Cola of ice cream flavors.

[Danny Kelly]

Tin roof. It's a flavor or brand?

[Craig Horlbecker]

It's a flavor or maybe it's a brand, I don't know.

[Danny Heifetz]

Tin roof ice cream.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Tin roof sundae.

[Danny Kelly]

What am I looking at here?

[Danny Heifetz]

So it's just vanilla ice cream, chocolate sauce and peanuts.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Yeah. Fudge and peanuts and maybe some other stuff.

[Danny Kelly]

That just sounds like a Sunday.

[Danny Heifetz]

I was gonna say it just sounds.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Well, it's not. All right. It's a clear delineation, Craig.

[Danny Heifetz]

Gotcha.

[Danny Kelly]

Okay.

[Danny Heifetz]

Okay. Anyway, so Doug emailed about the Girl Scouts.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Oh yeah, Doug. In the spirit of your Doug, give a breakfast.

[Danny Heifetz]

Just black coffee for breakfast is what Doug said, stud. Thank you for reminding me. Doug said. I wasn't sure if someone had sent you this, but in the spirit of the Girl Scout cookie like the Wire, I wanted to introduce you to a six year old from Pittsburgh who is apparently Avon Barksdale of the Girl Scout cookies. Girl Scout troops. This girl from Pittsburgh has sold 81,000 boxes of cookies.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Oh my.

[Danny Heifetz]

Since January. She is six years old. There is a story in six CBS News. I start. I was like, what is going on here? And I just got so teary. This should be. If this isn't like a Hallmark Christmas movie or whatever, by December, then someone should be fired somewhere. This six year old girl, I think she has a disability of some kind and she went to her first Girl Scout troop and she claims, the family claims they were turned away because they didn't want to accommodate her disability.

[Craig Horlbecker]

She's not going to do enough numbers for us.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, you can't move them bricks. Can't move them.

[Craig Horlbecker]

We got a quota to keep up with here.

[Danny Kelly]

We're trying to make business here. Lady. Back to make. This ain't make a wish. All right?

[Danny Heifetz]

My fingers are. And so the second troop turn a profit. The second troop was okay, the accommodating disability, but apparently they were told that we don't. They don't want younger girls in the troop because they don't really pull their weight with the cookies. And so the teenage girls end up pulling all the weight for the youngins. So they're not really interested in taking them. I didn't realize the Girl Scouts work this way. So anyway, turned away from that, the third troop took her in in Pittsburgh and This girl sold 800 boxes on her first day.

[Craig Horlbecker]

What?

[Danny Heifetz]

Tick tock. 800. And then they went to like the supplier, like the plug, the cookie plug. Told them that. They're like, hey, just so you know, 800,000. That's probably her Peak. Like we don't know if you're gonna be able to do more of that. So they took a little tick tock video of this girl who's very cute, and they were like, we're gonna make a video and you're gonna ask you what goal you want to hit. She's like, what do you want to say? Her parents said, what do you want to say? She said, 10,000. And they kind of look at each other and they're like, we don't. I don't know if you know what 10,000 is. Like you're six. Like maybe we say a different number. And Pim, very cute, would not budge. Said, I want to say that will, we're going to 10,000 boxes. And they're like, all right, whatever. So they film her saying 10,000 boxes. And in one day she sold 20,000 boxes.

[Craig Horlbecker]

What?

[Danny Heifetz]

After this fucking video? So Pim is a fucking legend. She's the. She's really Marlo Stanfield. She's not an Avon. She's the Marlowe of the fucking cookie game.

[Craig Horlbecker]

The multi level marketing, like recruiters are going to be like searching this girl out. What I learned about, she's the Michael Jordan, she's the LeBron James.

[Danny Kelly]

The amount of parents now are going to be forcing their daughters like start TikToks and to try to sell cookies.

[Danny Heifetz]

Instead of like pageants or horses or something.

[Danny Kelly]

It's just like, sell the cookies.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Cute story. Maybe not a good story because of what comes from this. Yeah, yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

No, it's. Anyway, I just. She. Yeah, Girl Scout sold. And also she has a lot of time left to sell more. So that's just. That's incredible. I also wanted to give you. We asked for mom sports takes. I wanted to give you a grandma sports take.

[Danny Kelly]

Wait, wait, wait. Sorry. How. How many boxes total did she sell?

[Craig Horlbecker]

I mean.

[Danny Heifetz]

80,000. That was a week ago.

[Danny Kelly]

Go 80,000. And I believe I watched this documentary at Sundance about Girl Scout cookies. I believe they earn $1 per box sold.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Oh, wow.

[Danny Heifetz]

$1 per what?

[Danny Kelly]

Per box sold.

[Danny Heifetz]

With a Girl Scout as an. The troop.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

Organization takes the other. Like if it's six bucks for a box, the organization takes five.

[Danny Kelly]

Correct. PIM would get a dollar per box.

[Danny Heifetz]

Pim personally or Pim's troop.

[Danny Kelly]

Pimp Pims troop.

[Danny Heifetz]

I don't think. I don't think the Girl Scouts make money off it. I think it goes to their local troop and the other stuff goes to the corporate office.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, they get $1. I think it's like $6 a box.

[Danny Heifetz]

Now, if only we knew a woman passed it. Can anyone name a woman?

[Danny Kelly]

Any woman.

[Danny Heifetz]

Name any woman. Just name a woman.

[Craig Horlbecker]

By the way, I'm seeing she's over 100k now.

[Danny Heifetz]

That's unbelievable.

[Danny Kelly]

So that's a hundred thousand bucks for her. True.

[Danny Heifetz]

Marlowe Stanfield. Oh, my damn. That's fucking amazing.

[Danny Kelly]

The whole crew is going to go to Italy on that. That's nice.

[Danny Heifetz]

That's. Oh, my God. That's. The other thing is the top seller gets to take a trip to Niagara Falls. And her parents, like, got a first date at Niagara Falls, and she wanted to take her parents there, and they told her, pim, we want you to set a realistic goal. And. And then she's going to get to do it. I was. I like the story.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Wow.

[Danny Heifetz]

Anyway, all right, we got an email.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Also from Chris C. Bone. Crazy K Bone. I don't know.

[Danny Heifetz]

Topped the. It's a C. Who Top the. We got takes from moms. And he's like, I have a take from my grandma. My grandma's a sports take.

[Danny Kelly]

Okay.

[Danny Heifetz]

So Chris says, I attended and played basketball for a small Division 3 school in Michigan. It's called Hope College in Holland, Michigan. It's kind of like Craig almost playing volleyball for College of the Redwoods. So he says, at Hope College, we were the Flying Dutchman. Our mascot is an old Dutch sailor with wooden clogs.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Weeks, Nice.

[Danny Heifetz]

I don't know why the clogs is the funniest part of that to me.

[Craig Horlbecker]

But it is because that's what they wore. Shoes.

[Danny Heifetz]

Clogs. Pirates were clogs.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Is that really.

[Danny Kelly]

They're just like, Dutch.

[Craig Horlbecker]

I feel like the Dutch are famous for wearing wooden shoes. Get out once. Sorry.

[Danny Kelly]

I'm just kidding. You don't know what the Dutch are famous for. On. You don't know the Dutch shoes and the Dutch.

[Danny Heifetz]

There's only two kinds of people I hate in this world.

[Danny Kelly]

People who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch.

[Danny Heifetz]

So anyway, Chris writes, my grandmother, who's not a sports person, would come to my college basketball games sometimes, and she said to me, why do you miss free throws?

[Danny Kelly]

That's what my dad says to LeBron.

[Craig Horlbecker]

If you're so great. If he really was the quote, unquote.

[Danny Kelly]

The greatest, that is his number one argument. How can he be the greatest of all time if you don't feel good about him at the free throw line?

[Danny Heifetz]

I will say, I think you told us your dad. Maybe your dad might have done this for me at your wedding. I forget How I heard this. Maybe you just told me, but it was like, if LeBron's the greatest basketball player ever, cool. If aliens came to the Earth, and we're like, we'll destroy the Earth unless you can make one free throw. And LeBron was at the line. He's like, would you be nervous? I'm like, yes, I would.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Yes.

[Danny Heifetz]

Super nervous. Michael Jordan, no question. Not even. Not even.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Well, Steph up there, man.

[Danny Heifetz]

Steph. Yeah, but it's like, Steve Kerr, who would you rather take the shot, MJ or LeBron? It's 100%.

[Danny Kelly]

It's not even close.

[Danny Heifetz]

It's like, well, that. That. That is. It's hard to argue against that.

[Danny Kelly]

MJ was a really good free throw. MJ was like, in the age, like.

[Craig Horlbecker]

86. Who's the greatest free throw shooter of all time?

[Danny Kelly]

Steph.

[Danny Heifetz]

Steph.

[Craig Horlbecker]

And then isn't Steve Kerr up there?

[Danny Heifetz]

Who was the guy who.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Something in the water on that team?

[Danny Heifetz]

Well, shot 90.

[Danny Kelly]

Her wasn't on the warriors, but.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah. Who was the guy who played on the Spanish team that beat America? That they. He shot like 97 once. Joseph.

[Craig Horlbecker]

I think the guy who shot under the Bear, Rick Barry guy, he was probably really good, too.

[Danny Heifetz]

I think Jose Calderon made 98.

[Danny Kelly]

Rick Barry, warrior.

[Danny Heifetz]

Everyone should be like, Curry or Steph.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Stephen Curry.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, he is. He's the best. 91.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Wow.

[Danny Heifetz]

151 of 154.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Steve Nash, Mark Price.

[Danny Kelly]

Rick Barry's up there a little under 90.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Yeah, he was all underhand, baby, granny style. But this is granny style sounds dirtier than it is.

[Danny Heifetz]

I've never thought of that. Yeah, that's. That's.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Speaking of grandmothers, what do you think.

[Danny Heifetz]

Granny style would be?

[Craig Horlbecker]

I'd rather not answer that.

[Danny Heifetz]

Do you think that Chris got so excited that we mentioned his email that he probably hit send to his grandmother and then now is listening to the rest of the show, and it's like, oh, my God, don't listen to Grandma.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Well, she. She would probably be in favor of someone shooting granny style, so. They make the damn free throws.

[Danny Kelly]

Why do you miss free throws? Great.

[Danny Heifetz]

She said, why? They're. Why do you miss free throws? They're free. It's from the same spot every time.

[Craig Horlbecker]

They're free.

[Danny Heifetz]

And Chris writes, my brother and I were both on the team. We both hit 75% from the line. And she was like, criticized us for missing them.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, that's not bad. That's the most brutal part of college basketball is, like, some guy on your team gets fouled, goes to the line. And they're like, john Williams is shooting 38% from the line this season. You're like, Jesus Christ. So bad.

[Danny Heifetz]

It's so bad. Well, we got a lot of emails too about college and high school chance at basketball games. I won't go through all of them. Some people were like, there was a kid who looked like Harry Potter. And everyone's like Harry Potter every time you hit the ball. And there's 20 years, it's 20 years ago. But now his wife calls him Harry Potter when she wants to bother him. I thought that was funny. Okay, but the couple high school cats Chance, I wanted to know this one email from Caleb.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Caleb C. Bone breakfast was a black.

[Danny Heifetz]

Coffee protein shake and a breakfast burrito.

[Danny Kelly]

A black coffee protein shake.

[Danny Heifetz]

Sorry, I think it's comma problem. He didn't write comments. I assume it's a black coffee comma protein shake, comma breakfast burrito.

[Danny Kelly]

That's a hefty breakfast.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, yeah, it is. Honestly, it was probably gaining. So he says they were in high school. He says he was a student section leader. I don't know what that means, but I assume he's in charge of crowds. And they were playing their regional rivals in the regional tournament, which those get heated. He said the other team was also a nationally ranked team. And they had one white guy on the end of their bench. And he says, art, we looked up the guy's name, the white guy's name was Jack. So I know it's kind of classic. And they said, we were up late in the second half, we're up 15 points. So we start chanting we want Jack, Jack over and over at the other team. And then at the next stoppage, the team's down 15 points. They put fucking. The coach fucking puts Jack in the game. Jack comes in, I feel like I know where this. It's five, three pointers, 15 points. They take the overtime, they win the game and over.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Yeah, Jack.

[Danny Heifetz]

Jack scores like 23 points to end the game.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Talk about your all time backfires. Wow.

[Danny Kelly]

Jack was J.J. redick sitting on the bench, the ringer.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Oh, man.

[Danny Heifetz]

Careful what you wish for.

[Craig Horlbecker]

He proceeds to go nuclear from three. I like that. That's incredible.

[Danny Heifetz]

Okay, a couple more, we'll get out of here. A lot of people Craig brought up sleeping during rain. Holy. People love rain. People love.

[Craig Horlbecker]

People love rain.

[Danny Heifetz]

They love the sounds, they love the smells.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, it's in our DNA to like rain.

[Danny Heifetz]

So Kyle, whose breakfast was, he said, a legendary Pop Tart and Cafe Americano. I don't Know if that's a flavor or just. He thought it was really good Pop Tart that morning.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, a euphoric Pop Tart to start my day.

[Danny Heifetz]

So we got, like, a lot of people who are like, I love sleeping during rain, and sent all their theories, people saying they're best rain flaw. But Kyle said rain means there's more moisture in the air, which makes it heavier. And due to the increased moisture in the air and thus being heavier, the body works harder to breathe with ma, which makes you sleepy.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Oh, that's interesting.

[Danny Heifetz]

I don't know if that's true, but.

[Danny Kelly]

Like, also, if you're inside, is that really. Is that really happening?

[Danny Heifetz]

I can't speak. I don't know.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Depends on how good your insulation is and whatnot. And your.

[Danny Heifetz]

Well, I learned that system in cold weather. Built for insulation, but homes in, like, Southern California and hotter places are built for circulation, which I never thought about until I moved to California. Anyway, Bryce said that the sensation of feeling cozy indoors during rainstorms is, hands down, my favorite feeling of all time. And I learned a few years ago that there's a name for this feeling. It's called chrysalis. Chrysalis, which is the amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Wow.

[Danny Heifetz]

I think that was written by Craig Jones in an email to the nflpa.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Yeah, monkey, Pour all your avarice into cuddling up.

[Danny Heifetz]

This is the real one I wanted to share with you guys. So Brian wrote on B Bone on the smell of rain that I grew up in Maryland between Philly and Baltimore, and then I moved to Arizona in the aughts. And he said, also, why do we call it oughts? What's with that? Which I don't actually.

[Craig Horlbecker]

I agree. I don't like that.

[Danny Kelly]

I like oughts. What else do we call it?

[Craig Horlbecker]

I don't know. Something else.

[Danny Kelly]

It's too long. You need an abbreviation.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, sure. So Brian writes, the smell of rain on the east coast is very different from the smell of rain in Arizona and the East Coast. Rural smells like plants, leaves, wet earth. Duh. And in Phoenix, Arizona, smells like wet parking lot or empty warehouse basement concrete, Wet asphalt. I know. Wet, wet asphalt. And basically, it's like, conclusion. The explanation behind why rain smells the way it does. It's just, what is the rain falling on, but different places. It smells differently.

[Danny Kelly]

That makes sense.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Yeah. Yeah, that checks out. I never thought about it scientifically that that makes sense.

[Danny Heifetz]

And then, Drew, because I think my.

[Danny Kelly]

Association with the smell of rain is rain on asphalt.

[Craig Horlbecker]

I think That's a very distinctive smell too.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, yeah. It's all that little oil comes up. Yeah.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Chemically, yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

And it's also like the smell of rain is good, but also the smell of gas is kind of good.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, yeah, Gascount.

[Danny Heifetz]

Fantastic thing. When Charlie's just huffing gas, it's like, yeah, smells cool.

[Craig Horlbecker]

I don't think I like the smell of gas.

[Danny Heifetz]

Really like the smell of gas?

[Craig Horlbecker]

I don't think so.

[Danny Heifetz]

Gasoline. Come on.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Yeah. Not really.

[Danny Heifetz]

You ever had a gasoline fight with your friends over at Orange Mocha Frappuccino? Have you?

[Craig Horlbecker]

Can't not die in a gasoline fight accident.

[Danny Kelly]

Is it the sulfur that smells good on, on the asphalt? What is it?

[Craig Horlbecker]

No idea.

[Danny Heifetz]

I assume there's. I don't know. I assume there's. Well, there's oil. That's why after. We guys wouldn't know anything about rain. Craig. But like dk, you know, when it first dries, like, starts raining. That's the most dangerous part of driving because, like, there's little oils on the road and then like.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Right.

[Danny Heifetz]

It mixes with the water and it kind of like. I think it's that probably.

[Danny Kelly]

I. I do know a lot about rain because when it does rain in la, it's a monsoon in the city breaks down.

[Craig Horlbecker]

That's happening currently. Right.

[Danny Kelly]

It's not raining today, but yesterday it was a mess. There's like flash flood warnings everywhere, dude. Like, last year there was literally a flash flood on, on my street about a year ago. To this day, Liz and I were both driving our cars out of the parking garage. Water flowing into the parking garage. We're on the street. Her car just stops working in the middle of the street. Water. I had to get out of my car. Water is like up to my, like, mid shin. I abandoned my shoes. I'm barefoot on the street, cars behind us honking. I'm going up to Liz. Her phone wasn't working. I'm like, what's going on? She's like, my car broke down. I then got to run to the people behind me who are honking. There's some dad with his daughter in the car yelling at me. I'm like, my wife's car literally doesn't work. You're going to have to go around.

[Craig Horlbecker]

What is he honking at? What a fucking asshole.

[Danny Kelly]

A. I'm directing traffic. Barefoot, soaking wet. Like, the car was turning on and off. We had to push to the side. We had to leave a note on the car that said, like, basically gone for help. Like, don't tow this Car. It's crazy. Gone for help.

[Danny Heifetz]

Be back in 10 minutes.

[Danny Kelly]

Like, on a paper towel. We literally wrote, like, gone for help.

[Danny Heifetz]

You know, it's funny. It's like on a highway, you're supposed to, like, put a little shirt in a window or something if you pass a car. That's what it means is like, don't tow my car. I'm coming back for it. But you can't do that when it's portrayed.

[Danny Kelly]

Right.

[Craig Horlbecker]

You're supposed to do that. I never knew that.

[Danny Heifetz]

I learned that recently. Yeah. Like, if you pass a car on the highway and it, like, has a shirt in it, it means, like, I'm coming back for this. Please don't take it away.

[Danny Kelly]

Like a T shirt.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

Have you ever seen that drive in the window? Yeah. Like, it's shirt.

[Danny Kelly]

And like, that implies that people drive around with multiple T shirts.

[Craig Horlbecker]

They took off. You take off your shirt to.

[Danny Kelly]

Off your shirt.

[Danny Heifetz]

I didn't invent it, man. I'm not. I'm just. I'm just the messenger.

[Danny Kelly]

Do you guys think we need to fix the horn?

[Danny Heifetz]

Which horn?

[Danny Kelly]

Car.

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh, my God. 100%, dude.

[Danny Kelly]

I think it's too aggressive and it reads anger.

[Danny Heifetz]

You need a different kinds of. I think, yes. Can't make it too complicated, but at the very least, we need a second.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Hit the wrong horn button. I'm sorry.

[Danny Heifetz]

The horn is just a you, and you need another horn. That's a.

[Danny Kelly]

It's a middle finger.

[Danny Heifetz]

We need. You know, the way emails now, it's.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Like, we need the duration of the horn.

[Danny Kelly]

No, it's the sound of the horn. It's the shrill.

[Danny Heifetz]

No, you need a horn that's kind of like, hey, if you don't mind moving, I would really, like. That would be great. Just so you know, if it's green and you didn't notice, like.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Yeah, but that's a tap, tap. That's easy enough.

[Danny Heifetz]

No, I don't know you.

[Danny Kelly]

I encounter road rage. I encounter road rage all the time. And I really think that if the horn were different, I also think if everybody had to have a convertible, it would solve road rates. It would, like, fix 90% of road rage.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Right.

[Danny Kelly]

If you had to be in a.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Convertible, it's like people talking shit to you on Twitter.

[Danny Kelly]

You're not gonna do it with the top down.

[Danny Heifetz]

That's a. That's a. That's a big. I, I, I. Yeah. Every. Every time it rains, we have a flash flood warning for the six days a year it rains in Los Angeles.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, look, I know, obviously, Everywhere can't have a conver. I was just thinking of ways to get people to stop feeling so empowered in their car. And I'm like, the horn's gotta be nicer and you need to feel more exposed.

[Danny Heifetz]

I think. I think you're right about the horn thing. You're dead on. Because I think the other thing about the horn is, like, you need to feel more exposed. Also, when you guys are driving and you hear a horn, is your first thought, is this about me?

[Danny Kelly]

Yes.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

And so it's like you need a horn that's like, I agree. It's less aggressive because then you got to use the you horn.

[Danny Kelly]

I almost wonder if, like, the horn should only be automatic where the. The car naturally horns if it's about to hit something. But outside of that, there is no horn.

[Danny Heifetz]

You want to take horn. You want to literally.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Oh, you need the horn to warn people about.

[Danny Kelly]

But that's. I almost wish that could be automated because I don't like people. I would say 90% of the 95% of horns used are fucking pointless. And it's just some guy complaining. And I want to get rid of that.

[Danny Heifetz]

Craig just wants the clankers.

[Craig Horlbecker]

95% of the of horns used. Or someone cuts you off and you're like, fuck out.

[Danny Kelly]

Exactly. Like the 5% is like a big deal. You're warning somebody you don't want to hit them.

[Danny Heifetz]

Or if something's texting at a red light and then it turns green and you're like, hey, buddy, come on.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, you give them the beep beep. But most of the time it's just assholes. And I'm like, we got to. We got to fix this.

[Danny Heifetz]

Email us if you can fix car horns. I think you're right that, like, we can fix this. Yeah, we need a better system.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Get a look who Garacha horn like in the Simpsons. I feel like that would be disarming for me.

[Danny Kelly]

Maybe it should be like ringtones. Everybody just has their.

[Craig Horlbecker]

The axle f. And then it's just.

[Danny Heifetz]

Like add a red light and then it turns green. I thought you're gonna say what I've done, but you haven't seen Transformers yet.

[Craig Horlbecker]

No, not yet.

[Danny Kelly]

What are we doing? You better watch it on the way to Indy on the plane.

[Craig Horlbecker]

We'll see. We'll see.

[Danny Kelly]

That's a great plane movie.

[Craig Horlbecker]

The last plane I was on didn't have movies.

[Danny Kelly]

Bring your computer. Watch on your computer.

[Craig Horlbecker]

I don't know how to do that.

[Danny Kelly]

I thought, what are you talking about.

[Danny Heifetz]

Know how to watch?

[Craig Horlbecker]

We've established this. I already told you, I do know how to do it.

[Danny Heifetz]

I just don't. He's a.

[Danny Kelly]

He's a laptop trog.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Trog maxing.

[Danny Kelly]

No, you're a plain tech trog.

[Craig Horlbecker]

I feel like now we should explain what trog is since we talked about it before the show.

[Danny Kelly]

A troglodyte.

[Danny Heifetz]

Dk. I'm a tech. I'm a technology troglodyte. And then says I don't know how to watch a movie on a website. You are.

[Danny Kelly]

And I. And I think we should shorten that to trog. And that should be a trog maxing.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Yeah, Trog mogging or trog maxing.

[Danny Heifetz]

Trogg. Frame trog.

[Danny Kelly]

I just like.

[Danny Heifetz]

Mogging is trogging.

[Danny Kelly]

I think somebody a trog.

[Craig Horlbecker]

People like.

[Danny Heifetz]

I don't.

[Craig Horlbecker]

I don't even wear a watch.

[Danny Kelly]

Okay, Trog like somebody. Yeah, exactly.

[Craig Horlbecker]

It's like you don't. You don't have a heart rate monitor on you. Okay, Trog.

[Danny Kelly]

Trog. Somebody who can't cook. Kitchen trog. Yeah, Come on. Somebody send that to Clavicular. He'll. He'll use that.

[Danny Heifetz]

No, it's ours.

[Danny Kelly]

We need to get it big, though.

[Danny Heifetz]

We're getting a beef with cl. Yeah, he probably loved Sonny Jerry. His name anyway. All right, the next show we'll do. I'm gonna. I'm gonna show up to our next show, the NFL Combine preview. It'll be on Monday because we're. I'm gonna save this email for next week, which is from Luke, and the subject line is just, you may have ruined my life.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Okay, man.

[Danny Heifetz]

Save that one for next time.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Now I want to know.

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh, yeah. So ringer NFL draft show. That's going to be the next. Next week. That's gonna be the name. Please hit follow or subscribe or whatever you're doing, wherever you are, just hit follow, subscribe and listen to our show. And I think that's all we got. So we'll be at the combine next week, Indianapolis. We're going to talk to these coaches. We'll see the Miami Chads.

[Danny Kelly]

And you know, DK is going to try to set the. The shrimps eaten record at St. Elmo.

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh, yeah.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

Thank you, dk. Thank you.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Horseradish sauce.

[Danny Kelly]

Dk. How many pieces of shrimp do you think you eat? What's the overrun on the week? Yeah, because we're going to go there. We're going to go to St. Elmo a lot. If I set it at 15 and a half.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Yeah, that's what I was. I was thinking 15. Weird. Wow. I'll probably hit the over.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

Okay. That's sick.

[Craig Horlbecker]

I liked. I like the horse.

[Danny Heifetz]

We'll do a counter.

[Craig Horlbecker]

It's good.

[Danny Kelly]

It's so good. It's basically more of it. I need it spicier. It's basically eating smelling salt.

[Danny Heifetz]

It is.

[Danny Kelly]

It is.

[Danny Heifetz]

It's like, what? Yeah, well, the smelling salt. We need to use smelling salts, too. We got to figure that out. All right, thank you, dk. Thank you, Craig. Thank you, Cam. Thank you, Carlos. Thank you, Boo. Thank you, Austin. Thank you, everyone, for listening. Email us at ringer fantasy football gmail.com, especially if you can fix car horns. Email us more about the smells of rain, and email us questions you have about the combine or just anything you want to know in the draft. Thank you, Lord.

[Danny Kelly]

Lord.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Thank you, Def Leppard.

[Danny Kelly]

Nice. Pour Some Sugar on me. I loved that song as a kid.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Hell, yeah. Hell, yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

Was it on your ipod?

[Danny Kelly]

Definitely on my ipod. I'm trying to think if I even had their CD. I think I might have. I used to play CDs in the garage and play ping pong with my buddy and listen to, like, AC DC in Boston and Journey.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Yeah. Hell, yeah. That's great. That was like my.

[Danny Kelly]

That was it. That was the happiest I've ever been in my life.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Yeah. The 80s were a special time. They really were.

[Danny Kelly]

I know. DK and I just DM each other now about just how crazy the 80s were. That's all we do. Like, whenever we can find the most 80s clip possible, we send that to one another.

[Danny Heifetz]

What's the last most 80s clip you set?

[Craig Horlbecker]

I sent him a picture of what's his. Tom Selleck. Just mogging everyone.

[Danny Kelly]

The original.

[Craig Horlbecker]

The original Mog Maxer.

[Danny Kelly]

Yes. I told dk, there's this great Instagram account called Night Openings, and it's just old photos of movie premieres from, like, the 80s and 90s. And the outfits are incredible. It's like my favorite follow Night Openings. It's so good.

[Craig Horlbecker]

There was one of Gary Oldman when he was probably 28 or 29 or something like that. Actually, it was whenever it was. It was when the. When the Fifth Element was released.

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh, yeah.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Do you remember that movie?

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

This Instagram is. Yeah, this is.

[Danny Kelly]

I see.

[Craig Horlbecker]

And he had half of his head shaved. He had, like, long hair in the back and then just shaved in the front.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. Late 90s.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Hell, yeah. Late 90s.

[Danny Kelly]

97.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Never seen that movie.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Oh, really?

[Danny Kelly]

No.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Pretty good. I liked it in the time. I feel like I don't know if it would hold up.

[Danny Heifetz]

What movie? I was on this Instagram page.

[Craig Horlbecker]

The Fifth Element. Bruce Willis.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, Gary.

[Craig Horlbecker]

I want to say Gary Oldman was in it. Yeah. The girl from Resident Evil. What's her name?

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh, yeah, I thought it. Yeah. This is the one where he has the freaking weird haircut, right? What is with that?

[Danny Kelly]

Mia Jovovich.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Yes. Yes. Miller.

[Danny Kelly]

Miller.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Mila.

[Danny Kelly]

Mila. I think it's Miller.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Chris Tucker was in that, too. Wow.

[Danny Heifetz]

What's he up to?

[Danny Kelly]

Just waiting for Rush Hour 4 to be made.

[Danny Heifetz]

Why is he not in other stuff?

[Danny Kelly]

I don't really know.

[Craig Horlbecker]

Brilliant. We're brilliant conversationalists.

[Danny Kelly]

No idea. Why. Why? Chris Tucker's not important. I don't know.

[Danny Heifetz]

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[Danny Heifetz]

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