The Ringer Fantasy Football Show

Episode: Jalen Hurts Ruined My Life, Week 15 Waivers, and Happy Birthday, Philip Rivers!
Date: December 9, 2025
Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, Craig Horlbeck

Episode Overview

This episode centers on the dramatic fallout from the disastrous Eagles-Chargers Monday Night Football game—specifically Jalen Hurts’ horrific fantasy football performance—and then pivots to critical waiver wire decisions and roster management for Week 15 of the fantasy football playoffs. The show’s signature blend of emotional venting, actionable advice, and irreverent humor is on full display, including an extended riff on Philip Rivers’ rumored NFL return—on his 44th birthday!—and an exploration of “false farts” in fantasy lingo.

1. Jalen Hurts’ Fantasy Football Meltdown (00:18–19:11)

Main Discussion Points

• A Catastrophic Performance: Jalen Hurts’ five turnovers (four interceptions, one fumble) sends entire fantasy leagues into chaos, with many listeners and hosts directly impacted.
• Historical Fantasy “Dud”: The hosts compare the game to legendary fantasy football heartbreakers, like Alvin Kamara’s 6-TD Christmas game that knocked owners out of playoffs.
• Emotional Fallout:
  • Danny Kelly: “Jalen Hurts just taking a giant steaming dump on all of us.” (01:22)
  • The hosts admit to lingering frustration, even shotgunning beers due to league-specific punishment rules.
  • Discussion on Hurts’ emotionless sideline demeanor, likening him to a “football monk” and questioning his ability to play from behind.
  • “It’s so freeing... I will never have Jalen Hurts on a team of mine ever again. I don’t care if it’s free. I don’t want him.” – Craig (04:04)
• Tense League Implications: Many fantasy managers lost playoff spots or critical seeding due to Hurts and, to a lesser extent, A.J. Brown.

Notable Quotes and Moments

• “There was a sequence in this game where there was five turnovers in 11 plays.” – Craig (05:25)
• “We texted more today over one game than we did on Thanksgiving with our families.” – Group chat anecdote (09:55)
• “This was a one in a thousand, one in a million outcome game.” – Danny Kelly (17:40)
• The group jokes about starting a Discord channel just to collectively process the pain. (16:17)

Notable Stats/Timestamps

• The game included a “never seen before” play: Jalen Hurts turned it over twice on a single play (Elias Sports Bureau confirmation, 08:42).
• “Check the tape – I’ve never been more angry watching a game.” – Danny Kelly (17:04)

2. Chargers Win, Rivers Rumors & Quarterback Mayhem (19:11–26:49)

Main Discussion Points

• Chargers’ Survival and Justin Herbert’s Heroics: Hosts highlight Herbert’s ability to carry teams with “homeless guys on the offensive line” and suggest he’s a “superhero.” (07:00)
• Herbert’s Reluctance: Anecdote about postgame interview: “I really just want to celebrate with my teammates.”
• Eagles’ Offensive Collapse: Coaches, not just Hurts, are blamed—including Nick Sirianni’s mismanagement and inability to adjust.
• Philip Rivers Tryout: Colts are rumored to bring back Rivers due to QB injuries—on his 44th birthday, and as a possible NFL grandfather.
  • “Philip Rivers is a grandfather. Is this going to be the first grandfather to play in the NFL?” (20:55)
  • Hosts imagine Rivers schooling “zoomers” and riff on old-man jokes.
  • “Tom Brady won a Super Bowl, retired, unretired, retired again, and Rivers hasn’t played since.” (24:45)

3. Waiver Wire Priorities: Week 15 (26:49–41:16)

Running Backs (27:27–39:03)

• Top Tier:
  • Blake Corum (Rams): Most recommended, rising workload, highly efficient offense.
    • “If you’re looking for a potential league-winning player, that’s Blake Corum.” – Danny Kelly (29:44)
  • Chris Rodriguez (Commanders): Great one-week pickup vs Giants’ weak run defense.
  • Bam Knight (Cardinals): Clear starter due to injuries, especially if Trey Benson is out.
  • Jalen Wright (Dolphins): High upside if Devon Achane is out, but riskier due to Monday night schedule.
• Second Tier: Devin Singletary, Sean Tucker, other “handcuffs”.
• Key Advice: Prioritize high-upside options, understand matchups, and be aggressive with handcuffs when clear starters emerge.

Wide Receivers (41:16–50:18)

• Options:
  • Luther Burden (Bears): If Roman Odunze remains out.
  • Jaden Reed (Packers): Consistent role, especially if you need a floor.
  • Jaden Higgins (Texans), Ryan Flournoy (Cowboys), Jalen Coker (Panthers): Upside streamers based on injury news and matchups.
• Weather Consideration: Chicago forecasted for 8°F—push players indoors if possible! (45:42)

Tight Ends (51:00–57:03)

• Harold Fannin (Browns): Top streaming option; elite usage with Shadur Sanders at QB.
• Isaiah Likely (Ravens): Thrives against Bengals’ defense.
• Darren Waller (Dolphins), Colson Loveland (Bears), Theo Johnson (Giants): Other solid choices, particularly if stashing for coming weeks.

Quarterbacks (59:25–60:11)

• Marcus Mariota (Washington): Rushing upside and good matchup vs Giants.
• C.J. Stroud (Texans): Trustworthy option if Mariota is unavailable.
• Tyler Shough (Jets), J.J. McCarthy (Vikings): Deep league emergency streamers.
• DEF Targets: Jags, Niners, Bears, Dallas, and stashes for future weeks (Chiefs, Bills, Patriots).

Kickers (62:00–62:59)

• Top Targets: Brandon Aubrey, Jason Myers, Cameron Dicker, Jake Bates, Chris Boswell.
• Indoors Preference: Prefer dome/south kickers (Fairbairn, Mevis) over players in poor weather.

4. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

From the Eagles-Chargers Reaction

• “Jalen Hurts and A.J. Brown are like a couple that knows they are emotionally cheating on each other.” – Craig (13:18)
• “Every time [Hurts] throws the ball away, it looks too hard... like a tennis grunt.” – Danny Heifetz (08:39)
• “The most excruciating fantasy game ever.” – Danny Heifetz (03:05)

Rivers & the “Aging QB Carousel”

• “Get back to bed, grandpa!” – Danny Kelly, joking about Rivers playing at age 44 (21:18)
• “Brady would be better than 22 NFL quarterbacks right now with no practice.” – Craig (27:47)

5. Listener Engagement, Trivia, & Community

• Trivia Showdowns: The hosts play multiple rounds of trivia to determine waiver-pick priority, with playful bickering and wild guesses (ex. “How many Hawaiian islands?” at 47:05).
• Emails & Group Chat Chaos: Listeners are encouraged to share their heartbreaks, suggest new fantasy terminology, or propose starting a Discord to process the Hurts debacle.
• Fantasy Court: Regular call for fantasy dilemma emails to ringerfantasyfootball@gmail.com.

6. Glossary, Terms, and Running Jokes

• “Fart or Shart” Segments: Fantasy term play occurs, laughing off a listener suggestion to add “false fart” to the pantheon of fantasy terms. (69:48)
• The “Snake Bag”: League in-joke about beer-shotgunning punishments.
• Innovations & Inside Bits: “Craig is going to release a playoff elimination statement like Notre Dame.” (33:39)

7. Episode Structure Summary

• [00:18–19:11] Jalen Hurts’ Monday Night Disaster: Emotional venting, group therapy, and playoff implications for fantasy managers
• [19:11–26:49] Chargers’ win, Rivers comeback rumors, and quarterback injuries across the league
• [26:49–62:59] Week 15 Waivers: In-depth position-by-position discussion, including RB, WR, TE, QB, DEF, K, plus trivia segments
• [63:00–71:11] Listener emails: Nicknames for Josh Allen, fantasy terms, high school referee stories, and meta-podcasting reflection on trivia fairness
• [71:11–end] Closing banter: “Fart or Shart” lexicon, credits, and musical send-off

Why You Should Listen

This episode masterfully balances actionable advice for fantasy football playoff survival and the communal catharsis needed after a week of wild outcomes. Highlights include visceral reactions to Jalen Hurts’ all-time dud, accessible humor about the madness of NFL injuries (and ancient QBs), detailed matchup and waiver analysis, plus signature listener engagement.

Perfect for:

• Listeners seeking tactical Week 15 advice across all positions
• Fantasy managers reeling from Monday night disasters
• Fans of sharp, relatable, and unfiltered NFL banter

Missed the show?
You’ll laugh, you’ll commiserate, and—if you heed their waiver wire advice—you’ll have a fighting chance in your fantasy playoffs. Email the show for a shot at some group therapy, and for god’s sake, don’t let Jalen Hurts (or Grandpa Phil Rivers) decide your fantasy fate again.