NFL Combine Preview: QB2 Race, Arm Length Matters, and There Is a Candy Hall of Fame

Summary

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The Ringer Fantasy Football Show

Episode: NFL Combine Preview: QB2 Race, Arm Length Matters, and There Is a Candy Hall of Fame
Date: February 23, 2026
Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, Craig Horlbeck

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Episode Overview

This episode, recorded just before the hosts head to Indianapolis for the NFL Combine, blends a preview of the upcoming draft and combine with signature Ringer banter and digressions. Heifetz, Kelly, and Horlbeck discuss which parts of the combine matter (and which don’t), break down the second-tier quarterback prospects, dive deep into the controversy of arm length for linemen, and detour into the existence of a real Candy Hall of Fame. Expect expert scouting insight, running jokes about bowls and salad, and the debut of a segment playfully lampooning draft-scouter language.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The NFL Combine: What Actually Matters?

[04:06]

• Public Perception vs. Reality:
  • While the combine is televised around 40-yard dashes and drills, the most critical aspects are the medical evaluations and team interviews—neither of which are public.
  • Quote (Danny Kelly, 04:16):
    "The two most important things from the combine are not public facing... actually the main reason the combine exists is because they want to get all the draft eligible players in one place so they can do medical exams."
• Combine as Convention:
  • The event is also a networking hub: teams, agents, and media all congregate, facilitating trades and free agency deals “because everyone’s in the same place.”
  • Quote (Heifetz, 06:05):
    "It’s kind of not that different from a Vegas convention for vacuum cleaner salesmen—it just happens in Indianapolis, and they also have the college athletes do drills."
• Deals Get Done in Person:
  • In-person meetings at the Combine can be more productive than remote interactions.
  • Quote (Craig, 06:58):
    "It compares very similarly to going into the office versus working from home. You go into the office for a week and you get 10 things done..."

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2. QB2 Race – Who Is the Second-Best Quarterback?

[09:08]

• Clear QB1, Murky After:
  • Fernando Mendoza is the consensus first quarterback, projected to the Raiders.
  • The competition for the next guy (QB2) includes Ty Simpson (Alabama), Carson Beck (Miami), Garrett Nussmeier (LSU), and Drew Aller (Penn State).
• Ty Simpson’s Risk-Reward Profile:
  • Simpson, a five-star pedigree and coach’s son, has just 15 career starts, a fading second half of last season (likely due to injuries—back, elbow, ribs), and doubts about his physical tools.
  • Quote (Kelly, 13:06):
    "His ability to quickly go through his reads, find the open man... a professional offense where he's working through his progressions quickly."
  • Quote (Heifetz, 16:24):
    "I can't stress enough how much watching the second half of the college football season in real time, I was like, this man disgusts me... his brain was frazzled."
• Injury Context:
  • Simpson’s late-season slump coincided with multiple injuries, including a back injury, gastritis (from painkillers), elbow bursitis, and cracked ribs.
• Class Analysis:
  • This year is a down year for quarterbacks after Mendoza, with even the #2 guy possibly not starting on his own college team if returning.

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3. Draft Class Shape: Obvious Gold Medalists, Murky Podium

[20:16]

• In many positions, the top prospect is clear, but the order after that varies widely according to team preference.
• Quote (Kelly, 21:01):
  “There's an incredible amount of variance… not going to be a lot of consensus on the order these guys should go in.”
• Possible out-of-nowhere first-rounders, especially given how "flat" the talent pool is at the top.

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4. Arm Length Mania: Will Campbell, Reuben Bain, and the Hinge Profile

[24:19]

• Will Campbell Case Study:
  • An elite tackle at LSU, but his extremely short arms (the shortest ever for a starting NFL left tackle) and a playoff performance where his injuries limited his athleticism sparked doubts about arm length “outliers.”
  • Quote (Kelly, 25:01):
    "This is a classic example of why teams are scared to bet on outliers."
  • Arm length matters most when combined with other limitations (e.g., injuries).
• Reuben Bain’s Draft Stock in Jeopardy:
  • Bain, a relentless Miami edge rusher, may measure with just 31" arms—second percentile for NFL edges.
  • Some teams will "take him off their board" for being under their arm length threshold.
• Role of Thresholds:
  • Teams use combine measurements like arm length, broad jump, and 40 times as “must-pass” filters—how they build their draft board (likened, humorously, to “Hinge” dating app filters).
  • Quote (Heifetz, 31:46):
    “Some teams literally just... set their little [filter]; we won’t draft a defensive end under 31 inches [arms].”
• Debate: Does Arm Length Matter More for Tackles or Edges?
  • General consensus: probably more for tackles, who already have a natural athletic disadvantage vs. today’s freakish edge rushers.

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5. The Age Question: Akeem Mesidor and Old Prospects

[33:34]

• Mesidor, a 25-year-old Miami DE, faces skepticism despite high production; teams wonder if peak play vs. much younger opponents means as much. Age “outliers” are rare successes at edge.
  • Quote (Kelly quoting Mitch Hedberg, 33:59):
    “I wish I could go back to Little League. I’d kick some ass.”
• Still, some older players with rare traits might deserve a shot.

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6. What Combine Testing (Still) Matters?

[39:48]

• Game Speed Data > 40 Times:
  • With new tracking data, teams can more accurately measure how fast players are in games—shrinking the importance of pure drills.
  • Quote (Heifetz, 41:16):
    "Now teams are able to track players' speed in games... way more valuable than the 40."
• Thresholds as Filters:
  • Still, the combine matters as a “pass/fail” for eliminating slow or unathletic outliers.
  • “Relative Athletic Score” is becoming a bigger deal, with rare outliers (Nick Emmanwori as ultra-elite safety tester) moving the needle.

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7. Signature Ringer Banter

Massive Tangents:

• Discussion on the existential merits of wooden salad bowls, bowl heirlooms, and chip bag volume.
• Debates on chocolate shapes (Reese’s Holiday editions), candy industry monopolies, and the Candy Hall of Fame—yes, it exists, and it’s in Indianapolis!
• Breakdown of candy conglomerates (Hershey, Mars, Mondelez, etc.) and who really makes your sweet treats.

Running Podcast Segments:

• Two Jargons and a Lie morphs into Defensive End-uendo [44:20]
  • Hilarious game to guess whether certain poetic/descriptive phrases come from DK’s scouting reports or from the fantasy novel “Fourth Wing”.
  • Gems like:
    • “Ruggedly built, high energy, overwhelms with brute force. But his aggressive nature can be a double-edged sword.” (Scouting report, 46:29)
    • “Body honed like a weapon, all sharp lines, barely leashed power accentuates every punch.” (Fourth Wing, 48:32)
  • Satirical comparison of scouting with “lady smut” (romance novels) language, revealing the sport’s accidental eroticism.

Listener Emails

• Names You Can’t Have Anymore:
  • Emailers recount being nearly named “Orenthal” (as in O.J.), and one recounts a “Chuck Manson” guidance counselor (“Please, call me Chuck.” [76:55])
• Breakfast Rituals:
  • Odes to overnight oats (plus Heifetz’s confession that he, mistakenly, ate stale oatmeal for weeks thinking that was “overnight oats” [60:33])
• Listener Story: How the Pod Ruined My Romance
  • Luke recounts how a girl he likes walked in on him giggling while listening to the hosts just say old-fashioned names (“Dot. Dottie. Beverly...”)—and then couldn’t explain the moment, giving her “the ick” [78:00].
  • Quote (Luke’s email):
    “She was so concerned, I panicked…I kept explaining…and then she was so miffed, I destroyed all the momentum I had romantically...”

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8. Quick Hits & Notable Moments

• Bowls are “sick”:
  Quote (Heifetz, 03:47):
  “Bowls are God. Bowls are sick. This is what happens when you turn 30…”
• On Will Campbell’s playoff disaster:
  Quote (Heifetz, 28:40):
  “When you have a physical limitation…you hurt your knee, margin for error, and now you’re just a less athletic version of you and you have the shortest arms.”
• The Candy Hall of Fame tangent:
  Quote (Everyone, 69:17):
  “He was inducted into the Candy Hall of Fame. There’s a Candy Hall of Fame?”
• On age gaps in football (Kelly):
  “A 25-year-old against a 19-year-old, that’s like a 19-year-old vs. a 15-year-old… It matters.” [34:45]
• Listener confessions:
  • “Literal Dr. Oatmeal. I was eating literal Dr. Oatmeal daily for a week.” [60:49]
• “This is why we do breakfast stories.” [62:14]
• More deep dives into pop culture references (Blade Runner 2049, Toy Story rankings, Jared Leto, etc.).

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Important Segment Timestamps

• [04:06] – What parts of the Combine actually matter (medicine/interviews > drills)?
• [09:08] – Early Preview: This year’s QB2 race, Ty Simpson discussion
• [16:24] – What’s up with Ty Simpson’s late-season collapse?
• [20:16] – “Flat” draft class, positional wildcards
• [24:19] – Will Campbell, arm length, and outliers (with extensive digression)
• [30:01] – Reuben Bain and the “hinge profile” for edge rusher arms
• [33:34] – Old prospects (Akeem Mesidor, age outliers)
• [39:48] – What combine testing still influences the draft?
• [44:20] – “Defensive End-uendo” game: Scouting reports vs. fantasy novel lines
• [53:43] – Dante “Don Corleone” is a real draft prospect; the Godfather NFL Draft
• [66:11] – Reese’s, the Candy Hall of Fame, and corporate candy overlords
• [76:55] – “Please call me Chuck”: Emails about bad/awkward names
• [78:00] – “You ruined my life” email: Podcast-ing causing romantic ick
• [92:01–93:19] – Toy Story 3, sequels, and ranking franchise “third movies”

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Notable Quotes

• On the NFL Combine’s real value:
  “The testing is sort of just like this ancillary cherry on top thing that the media hyperfocuses on and is not actually that important.” – Danny Kelly [04:16]
• On Ty Simpson’s up-and-down season:
  “If the season just ended on Halloween, I think Ty Simpson would be a top-10 pick... Second half of the season, Ty Simpson looked like Sam Darnold on the Jets. It was a mess.” – Heifetz [16:24]
• About the combine as a meat market:
  “They have to have a meeting about whether they’ll change their hinge settings for Reuben Bain and only Reuben Bain.” – Heifetz [32:13]
• On Will Campbell’s plight:
  “When you lose like 4% of your athleticism, now you’re 5’9 and you’re not special anymore. You can’t do it.” – Heifetz [28:40]
• On combine metrics as a dating profile:
  “It’s like a hinge profile. You set your arm length limit…” – Craig [26:01]
• On why teams value young prospects:
  “The track record for 25-year-old pass rushers coming into the NFL is just not very good... if you’re a 22-year-old pass rusher and really good, you’re going to the NFL.” – Danny Kelly [36:34]
• Defensive End-uendo (game sample):
  “Ruggedly built, high energy, overwhelms with brute force. But his aggressive nature can be a double-edged sword.” – Kelly’s scouting report / also, could be romance prose [46:29]
• On listener ick story:
  “Little did I know, she had come back inside from the patio, sat there for multiple minutes, just watched me ironing clothes and listening to three psychopaths saying names. And I am laughing.” – Listener Luke ([80:48])

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Tone and Style

• Conversational, playful, irreverent.
• Deep NFL Draft expertise blended with running jokes and tangential riffing.
• Self-aware about the absurdity of both the combine and their own content.

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Final Thoughts

An episode that expertly previews the real stakes of the NFL Combine—measurements, medicals, and backroom networking—while using draft oddities (arm length, age) as springboards for tangents about candy and pop culture. Staying true to the Ringer brand, the episode is as much about the life of NFL obsessives as the details of the prospects themselves.

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For listeners who missed it:
You’ll walk away understanding what matters and what’s mostly media sizzle at the combine, have a handle on QB2 drama and why the “second-tier” prospects (both at quarterback and elsewhere) are so hard to pin down in this class, and will likely spend the rest of the day pondering why chip bags are so loud and what your Hinge combine threshold might be.

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Transcript

[A]

This episode is brought to you by LinkedIn ads. The best B2B marketing gets wasted on the wrong people. So when you want to reach the right professionals, use LinkedIn ads. LinkedIn has grown to a network of over 1 billion professionals, including 130 million decision makers. And that's where it stands apart from other ad buys. You can target your buyers by job title, industry, company role, seniority skills, company revenue so you can stop wasting budget on the wrong audience. It's why LinkedIn Ads generates the highest B2B return on ad spend of all online ad networks. Seriously, all of them. Spend $250 in your first campaign on LinkedIn ads and get a free $250 credit for the next one. Just go to LinkedIn.com/ringer fantasy that is LinkedIn.com/ringer fantasy terms and conditions apply. This episode is brought to you by TaxAct. TaxAct helps tackle taxes, guiding you step by step so you can get your maximum refund, get tips along the way, add expert assist to talk to tax experts or let our experts do your taxes for you. With expert full service. TaxAct helps you find the deductions and credits you deserve so you can get them over with. Visit taxact.com to learn more. Conditions apply. See taxact.com for details. Welcome to the Ringer Fantasy Football show. My name is Danny Heifettes and I'm joined by Danny Kaley, Craig Korlbeck and we are recording this on Friday, February 20th. You're probably listening to this on on Monday, which I think is February 23rd. We're probably on our way to the Indian for Indianapolis for the NFL Combine. As we, as you listen to this right now, we're going to like hand time the 40 yard dash ourselves in case the lasers are wrong and all that jazz. And we're going to see which players are shorter than Craig and we'll move them down DK's board. So we're going to go into the combine, all the things that matter and obviously all the things about the combine that are pretty stupid. But also we have an announcement at the name of the show and Craig, who's eating a salad right now live during the show. You're just eating lunch during the show, Craig.

[B]

It's been a crazy day and I didn't have time to eat and it's a, it's a big salad bowl. Nice, incredibly capacious bowl, Greg. But yeah, we are now the Ringer NFL draft show where, where we can eat salads on the show. We're allowing people to Eat on the ring NFL draft show. That's our name for a while. Couple months, we're at the combine. We don't need to be the ringer fantasy football show right now because we're not. We're talking about the NFL draft. We're talking about free agency, off season stuff. So for the time being, until early May, we will be the ringer NFL draft show. Nothing changes. Just we can eat salads now.

[A]

It's like Ocean's Eleven where they have Brad Pitt eating in every scene.

[B]

I love that.

[C]

It's a good bit.

[A]

It's so good.

[C]

Is it. Is it just me or does a salad taste better out of a wooden bowl?

[A]

100.

[C]

It's like a Moscow mule thing. I don't know what it is about the wooden bowl.

[B]

I usually just eat a delivery salad out of the delivery container. Liz, my wife, likes to put the salad in a bowl.

[C]

Oh, I'm with Liz on that one for sure.

[A]

Shout out to.

[B]

It's an extra dish to wash. Shout

[A]

out to my aunt and uncle Mark and Jackie who when we got engaged, Jackie and I, they got us a different Jackie. It's an aunt Jackie and my fiance Jackie and they, they got us a wooden bowl. And now it's like our salad bowl. It's amazing.

[C]

It's a good bowl.

[B]

I feel like once you get a nice bowl, it will be in your life for 30 years.

[C]

Yeah. Especially a wooden one. That thing's indestructible.

[B]

My, like my children will give their children this exact bowl.

[C]

Family heirloom.

[A]

Bulls are God. Bulls are sick. Okay. This is what happens when you turn 30. All the younger people listening to this

[B]

are probably, you know what else is sick? The NFL combine.

[A]

The best.

[C]

Great.

[B]

Is that right? DK question for you before we begin about the NFL combine. Do you think the NFL combine matters more or less than it ever has or neither Is it in the middle.

[A]

It's exactly the same.

[C]

It matters less, but only very slightly because the most important things from the combine are not things we really typically talk about that much.

[A]

What do you mean?

[C]

The two most important things from the combine are not public facing. So it's going to be medical stuff where they're. This is like. Actually the main reason the combine exists is because they would. They want to get the all the college eligible or, sorry, all the draft eligible players from college together in the same place so they can do medical exams on these guys instead of trying to fly to 350 players home cities and figure it out from there. So that's why they do this essentially. So that's the number one most important thing is the medicals. Number two most important thing is the interviews which happen behind closed doors with the players. And that is basically the teams trying to get to know these players and see if they're total fucking jackasses, essentially. And that's really the most important things. The testing is sort of just like this ancillary cherry on top thing that kind of, I think the media hyper focuses in on and is not actually that important.

[A]

The. Yeah, I'll just go because Craig's chewing.

[B]

Craig gave you.

[C]

Craig gave you the hold on stall for me.

[B]

I was compelled. That was good. That was good.

[A]

Really considerate. No, it's true though. It's just like this was just a giant medical thing where they're like, what's up with your knee? And then everyone's in line for MRIs and they're like, can we talk to you? And be like, hey, here's the worst play you had all season. What happened here? And like, who's your least favorite teammate? And then they're like, oh, while you're here, you want to like run a 40 yard dash and like, that's it. And then honestly, it's just a convention. It's a big. It's all the players, like all the agents are there, all the teams are there, GMs, coaches, scouts, media. Like everyone's in one place. So it's kind of not that different than conventions that go to Vegas or whatever for vacuum cleaner salesmen or what. It's like any convention. It just happens to happen in Indianapolis. And then they also somehow made some of these college athletes have to do drills on NFL Network as part of it. But it's really a convention where a lot of stuff gets done, where it's like GMs meet GMs and GMs agents to figure out free agency deals ahead of the. They tamper before the deadline and it's fine. GMs. I remember the Russell Wilson trade from Seattle to Denver. It's like John Schneider, the Seahawks gm, just got a beer somewhere in a bar that they won't disclose with the Denver GM at the time. And they will still the one George Payton, they just like had beers and they just figured out the Russell Wilson trade. It's like that.

[C]

It's very funny to me that it's so true. It's. That was the other thing I was going to mention is just like a lot of deals get done simply because everyone's in the same place. It's like human nature at its like distilling everything about human nature into one spot. It's basically just like, hey, you're in front of me. Why don't we talk about something? It's, you know, maybe we could make something work out. Because I'm looking directly into your eyes over a beer versus, you know, it's like going golfing. That's why golf is such a big business thing. It's very funny how that still happens. Like, these people have phones. They don't use them. They like to just do this in person.

[B]

To be honest, I think it compares very similarly to like, going into the office versus working from home. And like, you go into the office for a week and you get 10 things done and you come up with so many more ideas and all these conversations that you have in between meetings and when you're having lunch and like, that stuff that just doesn't happen at home. I understand why deals get done at the combine. When there's only three restaurants that people go to. You're going to see people. Everyone's at St. Elmo eating shrimp.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

No, it really is like that. That's why the combine on its face is like, they sell it as a TV product where it's like 40 yard dashes. And then like people like us go or whoever. And you see all this news and you're like, why is all this news coming out? It's just everyone's in the same place. It's all happening. With that said, though, the there are a bunch of stuff that happens with the combine. It is like the jumping off point, really, of drafts or I guess it started a couple weeks ago at the senior ball. Whatever you want to decide. But there are still important things that happen at the combine. None more so than America's favorite off season segment.

[B]

Panda watch.

[A]

There we go.

[B]

Good Panda watch.

[C]

I like to hold the mic even though I have spike in front of me.

[A]

It's good because, like anchorman, the pandas don't do anything. Are you just drinking with ice?

[B]

I can't have a drink.

[A]

There's ice in the drink.

[B]

I want it cold.

[C]

It's like the loudest drink ever.

[B]

I'm like Kevin Durant on Bill's pod in 2017.

[A]

Bag of chips. What are chip bags made of that? They're so loud. I don't even know what they're made of.

[B]

Tissue paper, I think. I don't know.

[A]

Why are they so loud?

[B]

Yeah, sun chips bags in particular. Really loud.

[C]

They're like, we don't want Anyone to eat this in a theater without everyone knowing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I think they say it's. They're biodegradable. I don't know why that means they're loud, but it does.

[A]

Is there a company here? Should we make chips that are just. The bag is quiet and that's like the main.

[C]

Like, you know how the guy in Garden State got really rich because he made silent Velcro? If we could make silent, silent chip holders of some kind.

[B]

I think. I think part of the charm of Velcro is the sound.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Well, not if you're in a military mission or something.

[A]

That's true. All right.

[C]

Sneak it up on someone.

[A]

That's so good. Okay, let's go through the quarterbacks here. I think this quarterback class kind of a little bit is like last year's quarterback class structurally, in that Cam Ward last year was like, the number one pick, and it wasn't much drama about it. And Fernando Mendoza this year is like that, where he's going to go number one to the Raiders. I won't indulge in pretending that's not going to happen. Like, Fernando Mendoza will be the number one pick. And then Ty Simpson from Alabama's like, probably the number two quarterback to go in this draft. And then, like, who the third quarterback is going to be drafted this year is like, it could be anyone. Like, there's Carson Beck from Miami. There's Garrett Nussmeier from lsu. There's Drew Aller from. From Penn State. Like, there's a bunch of guys that could go third. And I'm curious, you think dk. I. I'm weirdly wondering if the Medicals, which again, is the reason they did the combined. Sorry, the combined combine. Whatever. It's called the Combine because they combined all the freaking things. They combined all the Medicals.

[C]

There was the national, the Quadra, and Blesto. This was all three different conventions.

[B]

I think Blesto is a character in Smallfoot.

[A]

Blesto, yeah. Blesto was with Zendaya.

[C]

Blesto. Zendaya. That was the. Those are the three different. I don't know what they're called conventions, I guess combined them together to make the combined.

[B]

Dk. I have a question for you. The. The quarterbacks. I have. It's just listed. Ty Simpson, Carson Beck, Nussmeier, Drew Aller. If you had to bet one. So if you look at your. Your draft board. Ringer.NFL. what is it? What's the URL nfldraft.the ringer.com. is that still what it is.

[A]

That'll work.

[C]

Yeah. Yes.

[B]

It'll reroute. NFL Draft.the ringer.com you have Fernando Mendoza number one on your big board and you don't have another quarterback, your big board on your, on your big B. And then you don't have another quarterback in the top 32. Ty Simpson is not there. So if you had to pick a quarterback that you think over the next month, remember that. Remember, remember a few years ago when there was like a moment where Will Levis was like, is Will Levis going to go in the top five? Is there any quarterback on this list where you think there's a chance that along this way too long draft cycle that we endure every year, somebody's going to get a lot of hype for a week and start talking themselves into another quarterback as like a mid first rounder.

[A]

The next Jackson darter. Tyler Schuck.

[B]

Sure.

[C]

Probably Ty Simpson. He put up the best tape this

[B]

year of the other guys From Alabama.

[C]

Yeah, from Alabama. It's funny to me, it's going to come down to Ty Simpson and Garrett Nussmeier. Garrett Nussmeier from lsu. Both guys. It's going to be so funny. And I think these, this particular thing will be a big factor as we talk about this over the next couple of months. Both coaches sons. So Garrett Nussmeier's dad is an offensive coordinator for the Saints right now. So coach's son. NFL teams love this. They, they just eat it up. But it is, it does matter, you know what I mean? Like these guys are prepared for when they're very small children to become quarterbacks essentially. And then Ty Simpson's dad has been a long time college coach, UT Martin. So these, both of these guys are I think well versed in the professional and technical parts of being a quarterback. The difference. And there's also similarities because both guys were kind of banged up this year. Garrett Nussmeier kind of fell off the map because he was battling nagging injuries. Ty Simpson after starting really strong in the season, kind of faded a little bit towards the end of the season or faded a lot towards the end of the season because he was battling multiple injuries. So I think those are the two guys and then both are undersized sort of, you know what I mean? Like not high end traits guys, but just again coaches, sons that are going to be the guys that can professionally run an offense like a Kirk Cousins or something like that. So I think both of those guys have a chance. It's probably going to be Ty Simpson because he played better this year early on than Nussmeier did at all, I think. And so.

[B]

Yeah, but what do you think the Shining trait will be? Because, like Drew, you look. You could look at a guy like Drew Aller who is physically gifted. He's got a crazy arm, he's big. He's like mobile for his size. What does Ty Simpson have that people are going to like? What's the reason why they will convince themselves that he might be a guy processing, I think.

[C]

You know what I mean? Like, his ability to quickly go through his reads, find the open man. You know, I think just that professional offense where he's coming off of it, you know, he's going in play action, finding his guy, working through his progressions quickly and finding the open man, I think that's kind of like one of his calling cards. And I think people are going to really like that. He has some. He had some really good games this season where you saw that high level processing ability. And I think that's what teams would probably like, talk themselves into. For me, I'm just a little lower. Number one, the physical talent I don't think is there in terms of like, what you typically want to see at the position, in terms of arm strength, athleticism, all that stuff. Like, I think things tend to fall apart for him when he's like off schedule and has to throw off platform. But the other thing is, man, he only has 15 starts in his college

[A]

career, so that's huge. It's worth diving into this because I think Ty Simpson could go anywhere from 13 to the Rams as Matt Stafford's heir to like the. Maybe the third round, depending on what happens. And like, he has a huge.

[B]

He's not going in the first round. No, he's not.

[A]

You say that, but Tyler Schuck went 40th, Jackson Dart was doing 25th or whatever. Like, those things happen. So I'm just like, he's the number two quarterback. Steelers.

[B]

He will not go in the first round.

[A]

Watch him go to the Steelers.

[C]

So I think he will.

[A]

I kind of think so. Here's the thing with Ty Simpson.

[B]

So he's. He's not physically gifted. He's an okay processor.

[C]

He's not quibble. He's not.

[B]

He's not huge. And he's only played 15 games.

[A]

I would quibble with that.

[B]

What would you say you do here?

[A]

No, I would quibble with that one. He's fast and his dad's a coach, Craig Garrett, I would say.

[B]

How fast? Well, we'll see. Is he going to run the combine? Is he going to run the 40 at the combine?

[A]

You never know with quarterbacks. They're going to. I think he's probably going to throw. You never know if quarterbacks are going to run. I think Ty Simpson, like he, he is.

[B]

If you're fast, wouldn't you run?

[A]

Depends. Like, I don't know because sometimes they don't want to train. It's a whole thing that goes into it. But I think the quarterbacks are going to throw. But my thing with Ty Simpson, when you watch, I would be helpful. It would be helpful. Well, it's weird actually. Of all the things that coaches want

[B]

to see, what a ridiculous event.

[A]

No, they want to see him throw in person. If you actually ask coaches what they care about the most, believe it or not, they're like, I got to see the quarterback throw in person.

[B]

Of course it's ridiculous that, that I'm asking you if the quarterback we're debating going in the first round will either throw or run. And it's like maybe.

[A]

Well, that's the most Shador Sanders lesson ever. Is like, I'm not going to throw the. But the Ty Simpson thing, I think it's worth talking about. I can't stress enough how much watching the second half of the college football season in real time, I was like, this man disgusts me. I was so off split by Ty Simpson. His brain was frazzled. Like I, the weird. I, Ty Simpson, like, I think actually his arm is above average and it's I think his NFL caliber. Well, NFL caliber. That's the person that Ty Simpson reminds me of in a weird way, and this is a little bit flawed, is actually, or at least last season is Sam Darnold. And he does not have Sam Darnold's arm. His arm is a notch below Sam Darnold. I think he's actually a notch faster than Sam Darnold. But. But what I mean by that is the first half of the season, if the season just ended on Halloween, I think Ty Simpson would be like a top 10 pick in this year's draft. Maybe, maybe top. He might go to the jets for all we know. If the season just ended at Halloween, it was like Sam Darnold and the Seahawks where it's like pretty solid. But like there's some brain dead moments. The second half of the season, Ty Simpson looked like Sam Darnold, unlike the jets, like, it was a mess.

[C]

The drawing of the horse.

[A]

Yes, it was the drawing of the horse. Like mental errors, like crazy stuff. Frazzled this, but I will say it perfectly aligns with this. He got hit in the third quarter against South Carolina. And Ian Harditz had a great little snapshot that's like when he got hurt at that point he had like 20 touchdowns and one in one pick. And then after he got hurt in the same amount of games, he had like eight touchdowns and four picks. His completion percentage went from like 70 to 60. Like it was like night and day and the competition got harder. So it's one of those where you're like, oh, what happened to him? And it's funny because now that the season ends and they're going to the draft, you actually learn what happened and you're like laid a back injury. Then he got this thing called gastritis. Gastritis is what happens when you take so much. Well, yeah, there you go. But it's anti inflammatories. It means you're taking so many pain pills or Toradol or pain blockers that it actually affects the lining of your stomach.

[C]

Geez.

[A]

Like, which is an idea of that's how much pain he was in with his back. And then he got elbow bursitis versus Georgia and then he cracked the rib and the blowout versus Indiana, the college football quarterfinal. All that's to say he got the kicked out of him. So I wrote him off. But then learning how fucking hurt Ty Simpson was, I'm kind of like, maybe the same way I wrote off Bo Nix, I'm kind of like maybe he sucked down the stretch because he got the shit kicked out of him. So I'm interested in Ty Simpson a little.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah. I mean, I think I'm there with you. This is the problem with a guy who's only had 15 starts though. It's like such a small sample. You said if he got, if he had stopped, if they'd stopped the count at Halloween, he would have been a top five. He might have been the number one quarterback in this class by, for, for a lot of people. But then it would have been like, how many starts did he have under. Under his felt?

[A]

7.

[C]

I mean, like crazy. So that's the problem. I think that, you know, with this evaluation, that's what makes it hard. And I, I'm open minded about it as well. I, I think, you know, I was probably too low on Tyler Shuck last year and that was a lesson that, you know, sometimes you gotta grade sort of like the high end flashes and look at that stuff. Obviously with the context that he was playing hurt for half, half of the season and that certainly had an effect. I wish there was a longer track record to see how he'd play over two or three years.

[A]

He's a dying breed because he's the last quarterback left that you're like, well, he's like, oh, I won't leave Alabama.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He just waited because he's like, I want to be the quarterback in Alabama.

[C]

He was a five coach is going to love five star prospect. You know.

[B]

Again, does it matter to you that he was sitting behind Jalen Milroe for two years that he couldn't start over? Jalen Milroe for two years.

[A]

I think even worse than that is if Ty Simpson went back to Bama, I don't think he'd play because they have some 6 foot 6 justin herbert clone freshman quarterback. And I think if he went back to Bama, he might not play, which is insane because he's also kind of the consensus number two quarterback. So it's, it's a. That's the thing and that's. Overall, it's probably a bad quarterback class because the number two quarterback in the class might not start if he went back to Alabama. So that's.

[C]

I think this is, I think that's what makes it hard for me too, is just. I think he more than any of the other guys in this class is like a big risk. Obviously there is upside there, but the downside could be pretty, pretty tough.

[A]

He's a quintessential top of the second round quarterback. Just because he's done enough that someone might be like, like a Tyler Shock, like maybe he wants to do. He did a lot at the line of scrimmage too, protections, all that stuff. So someone will take him in the top 50 picks and maybe gets bumped up. And then Nussmeier. I can save my thoughts for another time. Basically he's a coach's son and I'm kind of like. Does a lot of dumb stuff for. Since his dad's the coordinator for the New Orleans Saints. I'm like, he does a lot of dumb stuff.

[C]

Like the decision making. You don't like.

[B]

He was also quite injured. Correct.

[A]

He got. He also got. Yeah, that's another guy who. The season ended and he had some abdominal injury for Garrett Nussmeier. And then it comes out that he's like. They didn't even know what he's. They shut him down in early November and then they're like, he was like at the senior boys, like they didn't even know what was wrong with me until the middle of January, man. So, you know, anyway, and again, both

[C]

of these guys are pretty, not really undersized, but relatively undersized.

[B]

Like 6, 1, 6 2.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. So, DK, I'm curious. I feel like the interesting thing with this draft overall is all the positions are kind of like this, or a lot of the draft is like this, where the number one player at a position is obvious. It's like the gold medalist at each position is kind of known. Like Fernando Mendoza is the number one quarterback. But the rest of the podium, it's like five people might be the silver or bronze medalist of who's going to be the second. Like, you just go down the board here, it's like the, you know, the top two running backs in this class might both be from Notre Dame, which is weird. There might be four different running backs who could be the number two running back taken. You might have four different tight ends who could be the number two tight end taken. Reuben Bain is like maybe the second best defensive end in this class. And I think 10 teams might not even have Ruben Bane listed as a defensive end on their board. And so just. I don't, I don't even. What does that even mean?

[C]

Some teams might have his teammate ranked higher than him? Yeah, I think there's a lot of variance after you get outside sort of like the consensus top guy at each position. There's an incredible amount of variance is what you're getting at. And you know, there's. That tells me the first round is going to be pretty shocking in a lot of ways. I think there's going to be a lot of really what feel like out of left field picks or maybe what no one was expecting because I think there's not going to be a lot of consensus on like the order that these guys should go in.

[A]

And it's also kind of like the top tier is clear and then the second tier, it's just kind of like what people prefer. And I think that's the thing. It's not. Honestly, the more we do, it's not different than fantasy football. Some people are like, I'll never take, say, flowers in my entire life. Some people would rather just have a different kind of player. And like, it's like this too.

[B]

So you think it'll be more best player available than trying to pick the right position just because the talent is thinner. Like a guy like Caleb Downs, even though he's a safety, might go earlier than you think just because you know he's good.

[C]

Yes, I think there's. It's flatter so in other words, you know, there's a handful of blue chip type guys and then a lot of players that I think you could see as starters, but not necessarily elite prospects. And so that could, that could.

[B]

Well, maybe it'll be the other way. Maybe it'll be drafting for position. Then if it's all pretty flat, maybe you just go after the position you need.

[A]

Well, that's the other thing is like if you look at anyone's board, but like, let's pull up DK's board right here.

[B]

Yeah, the big, the big old board.

[A]

NFL drafts, the rare dot com.

[B]

If you look at the big girthy board.

[A]

Oh my God. Should we. Veiny board to cult the triumphant bastard shirt over here.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Should we call it the biggest board?

[B]

Big fat, big fat board.

[C]

Craig, you know Jack Candy from snl, right? The. He's like a writer. He did Deep Thoughts with Jack Candy and then he also had these little, little vignettes called My Big Thick Novel.

[B]

Oh, Jack Handy.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yes. Sorry, there's a Jack Candy. Like, you mean John Candy?

[C]

Yeah, yeah. Well, that, yeah, that would work too, but no, Jack Handy. Yeah, my big thick novel. To me, like, that was the funniest thing I ever saw growing up. Um, this is my big thick board. So anyway. Yeah, what were you gonna say?

[A]

Big. The ringer.com. big thick board.

[B]

We'll see your big sweaty board.

[A]

I feel like sometimes like the big board's basically Madden ratings where you're like, the big board is. Here's what we would give these guys as a Madden rating. You're like, you know, he's a 99, 98. But like, if you were doing a Madden draft and you're like, which guys would I have on my team? You wouldn't necessarily pick a safety who's a 98 over like a quarterback who's a 93. And that's kind of like what you see in the draft for quarterbacks and left tackles. And this draft is weird because the highest overall Madden grades or College Football 25, 26 grades are like running backs and safeties and other positions and then it's like a little lesser elsewhere. So it's just a weird draft overall. With that said, I kind of tk I kind of want to ask you. I think the. So we're recording this Friday, but it's Monday. I think a lot of these defensive lines or a lot of measurements are going to come out and I think we have to talk about everyone's favorite topic, arm length. But after the whole will Campbell thing. Where Will Campbell went from, you know, the fourth pick in the draft and then just the playoffs, just had one of the probably more infamous runs an offensive lineman will ever have in a playoffs because he made the super bowl and then one of the worst offensive line. I mean, he had what he's getting pushed on.

[C]

All playoffs. The whole playoffs. Yeah.

[A]

So there are definitely going to be a couple guys, I think in this draft specifically, maybe this is happening as you're listening to this, which is Ruben Bane, the pass rusher from Miami is kind of probably going to be the Will Campbell of this year. Before we even get into Ruben Bane, dk, I'm curious, what do you think the takeaways are from Will Campbell? The art. And again, basically the prologue here is incredible player. Will Campbell was amazing as a freshman lsu. He was like an all world college football player, but he had the shortest arms of any left tackle in the NFL and shorter than most right tackles in the NFL. And then he was awful in the playoffs and you could kind of see the arm thing.

[C]

Yeah, this is, this is a classic example of why teams are scared to bet on outliers. I think, I think the jury should still be out on Will Campbell. He was playing injured, he had knee injury, which is obviously a massive thing. And you know, from one of what I've seen from a lot of really smart offensive line experts is like it was not necessarily the length of his arms that was his issue is more his footwork, something that's coachable. So I wouldn't like completely close the book on Will Campbell. There's some people that think he might need to move to guard because of that issue that he was having. But this, he is an example, a classic example of an outlier. Like you said, he had the shortest arms for any left tackle or whatever in the combine history, at least starting

[A]

left tackle, I think. Starting left tackle in the league last year, I think.

[C]

And he was a top five pick. You know, I mean that's. Yeah, that' scary for some teams. That's why they have requirements or like benchmarks for arm length, certain tests in terms of the speed and agility. There's some teams that just take guys off their board if they don't meet these benchmark requirements.

[B]

Yeah, it's. It's like a hinge profile. You know, you set your height limit and that's what it is. You set your arm length limit. Do you think that finance.

[A]

It's finance just like it's combined 65

[B]

finance, trust fund, blue eyes.

[C]

That's Their draft board right there.

[B]

Do you care about arm length more for a pass rusher or a tackle? Where does it matter more or is it even.

[C]

I think my initial reaction was probably for a tackle, just because they're already at a disadvantage athletically. The, The. The edge rushers in the NFL these days are just absolutely explosive. Just like the best. The best athletes on the field, potentially. They're big, strong, very explosive. And offensive tackles, on the other hand, are relative lumbering oaths. You know what I mean? Like, if you're that athletic, you're not going to be playing tackle. You're going to be rushing.

[B]

Your words, not mine. I hope we run into Will Campbell.

[C]

Relative, relative lumbering oaths. These guys are incredible athletes, obviously in their own right, but we should go

[A]

to the podiums for the offensive lineman, really. So relatively, you're like a lumbering oath.

[C]

I mean, wouldn't you agree? The best at, like, I think left tackles. There are no left tackles that look like Miles Garrett.

[A]

They're less athletic than the defensive ends, but they're pretty athletic.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah, that's. That's essentially what I said. They're relative lumbering oaths.

[B]

You think you could do their job,

[A]

dude, they move the tackles to guard and I would get tackle.

[C]

I mean, I would. Look, I would get murdered out there, but.

[B]

Yeah, no, he'd be fine.

[C]

I'd be fine. Yeah. God, it'd be fun, actually. So funny to see, like, what they would do to me and just like, drop me on my head or something. I can't even imagine.

[B]

We should.

[A]

We should bring lockers to the combine and they can shove us in lockers. That should be a drill.

[B]

They would do, like, WWE moves on, dude.

[A]

They would. Oh, my God. Did we just fix the Pro bowl and the combine? All the players will participate again. If you could shove journalists in lockers, you know the.

[C]

The Bane move where he, like, drops Batman on his knee and just breaks his neck or breaks his back? That would be like, what?

[B]

Yeah. What's the undertaker? Is it the tombstone? What does he do? Pile driver, Whatever it's called.

[C]

What were we talking about? Oh, so the arm length thing. And this is going to be. Look, I don't think we need to close the book on Will Campbell. I think he's still got opportunity to be a really good player here. But this is why we talk about it. It's like a. A true. Okay, now the arm length is kind of fucked up. Now the tuxedos are kind of fucked up. Situation where you're like, oh, Now I realize why we were talking about this because it does matter sometimes and it wasn't a problem. Yeah.

[A]

When he was healthy. I think what it is is that when you have any kind of physical limitation, whether it's height, like you're.

[B]

It's confirmation bias.

[A]

Yeah, well, it's not just confirmation, it's

[C]

a game of inches too.

[A]

Yes. So. Well, you know, literally start talking about inches. Couple inches can make a difference, but it's not everything in the world.

[C]

But like one inch can make a difference, let's be honest.

[A]

Well, it's, you know, it's not everything but like I think the. When you have a physical limitation in an elite sport and then you like get hurt, like you basically, if you have short arms, you're the shortest arms at any left tech in the ufo. You have other things, athleticism, making up for it when you hurt your knee, margin for error. And the thing that no one mentions with this Will Campbell thing, which makes me furious, is like he was on injured reserve. He's a 22 year old kid who was out for five weeks with a knee issue. So then you come back when you don't have the athleticism that made up for it. Now you're just a less athletic version of you and you have the shortest arms. So it's like now that always comes up. It's like Isaiah Thomas when he's on the Celtics where it's like, how is this 5 foot 9 guy scoring 25 points a game in the NBA? It's like, well then he has this hip issue like, oh, when you lose like 4% of your athleticism, now you're fucking 5 foot 9 and you're not special anymore. You can't do it. And I think that's what happened to Will Campbell is it was his leg not exposing the arm. With that said dk, I'm going to go out on a limb and say, and if I'm wrong, I'm wrong. I think Ruben Bain from Miami, who again was one of the best defenders in all of college football. In fact, I actually want Craig to read from DK's draft board. I want Craig to read some of the positives that DK has in Reuben Bain. Like the pros, it's so funny.

[B]

High intensity edge defender, relentless motor, ferocious demeanor. Second most quarterback pressures in the country. Lives in the backfield, got that dog in him and rushes the passer with overwhelming zeal.

[C]

He's a fanatic.

[B]

There are moments watching Ruben Bane where I'm like, I, I've seen enough this guy has it.

[A]

Everything about him is incredible. But there's just one problem. Happy is I think today he probably will like Monday we're recording Fridays. He probably has arms under 32 inches and there are. Can you remind Everybody close to 31.

[B]

What is, what is the line where people start to get upset at arm length?

[A]

It is, funnily enough. Well, I, I. First of all, I don't know how they measure because I went to get my wedding. My wedding stuff this week and I got measured at 34 inch arms and there's no way that's correct.

[C]

If it needs to get out there and play tackle, I should.

[A]

I have longer arms than we'll tackle. According then Will Campbell. According to the Taylor.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. There is some.

[B]

Do they measure from like the, the top of the shoulder out? How do they do it?

[A]

You know the Family Guy. It's like I decide where the bases this time. But the, but so the. I again, I think the funniest thing ever is arms. It's like how long is an arm anyway? The mean, the me the median. The 50th percentile for defensive ends, 33 and a half. But the, the important part is that Aiden Hutchinson who. The whole reason he like didn't go first overall that year versus Trayvon Walker was Aiden Hutchinson's arms were in the seventh percentile. Seventh percent out of 100. And his were 32. There are rumors that Reuben Bay and his arms are 31 inches, which sounds. Who gives a like 33 and a half versus 31 sounds.

[B]

I love that there are rumors about his arm.

[C]

Rumors about the arm that's an inch.

[A]

But the problem is that that would be in the second percentile for all NFL defensive ends ever at the combine. Second out of 100%.

[C]

He's an outlier.

[A]

Yes. And some teams literally just. It's their hinge profile. And this is why it matters. It sounds so stupid. But what Craig said about the hinge thing, that is literally how teams do it. They set their little six. I won't talk to any one guy over six feet under, six feet tall. They're like, we won't draft a defensive end under 31 inches. And then they have to sit and they have to have a fucking meeting about whether they'll change their fucking hinge settings for Ruben Bane and only Ruben Bane.

[B]

How much better is Reuben Bain than the other pass rushers in this draft?

[C]

That's a good question. I think there's some other very good pass rushers in this class. I think David Bailey. I'VE actually got David Bailey one spot above him. I. He. David Bailey very different stylistically. He's not. Reuben Bain is just a, you know, power packed, muscular ball of energy as a rusher. David Bailey a little bit leaner, more explosive off the edge, more speed. So I think there's. They're a different kind of rusher and it just depends on what you're looking for. But I have him ranked a little bit higher. There's going to be teams that have Akeem Messador from Miami, Reuben Bain's teammate, ranked higher potentially because I don't think there's as many worries about the, the length for him. And he, he's also an extremely. You could replace all the like positives I said about Bane and just put them in Messador's scouting report and no one would bat an eye because it's, it's like same stuff. He's well, super high energy, just destructive force. That sounded like I was stuttering. Just a destructive force on the defensive line. He's just a madman out there.

[B]

When your comp for Macedor is Jim Carrey and the Cable guy.

[C]

Right. So which that's either him at playing basketball where he goes and dunks and breaks the rim, or when he's at Medieval Times and he just goes absolutely berserk. So. But yeah, I mean he, he's out. He's. He's just really fun to watch as well. So some teams might like him more. But the other thing, he's also older. He's 25.

[A]

So that's a big question mark. 25 for the draft, dude. Mesador for Miami is older than Will Anderson Jr. And the Texans.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So I feel like, you know, now that a lot of these BO Knicks types have come in and we're changing our opinion on age, that that's at the quarterback position where experience is maybe even more value. Do you. Does it matter to you at being a 25 year old edge rusher like Mesador? Are you like, oh, well, he's got more experience or could you care less about that? You'd rather him just be 21 and a freak?

[C]

I think it. You would rather have him be younger because then the development arc is still there. Like he could still get a lot better in theory. This is like kind of the way that teams look at it. Whereas if you're 25 years old, it's the old Mitch Hedberg joke that I always use. I wish I could go back to Little League now. I'd kick some fucking ass. It's like this Guy is more mature developmentally in terms of experience, his body, his whatever strength. So he's going up against 18, 19 year olds old. He's 25 year old.

[A]

It's a little crazy. Matters, but it's a little crazy.

[C]

But that doesn't mean he's not going to be good in the NFL.

[B]

And he's like 25% older than some of the guys.

[A]

It's a little nuts. Especially when you consider.

[C]

Tell the thing that you always say about the age difference that we have. I'm 12 years older, but I've been an adult for twice.

[B]

Go the other way. If it's a 24 year old against a 19 year old, that means it's a 19 year old versus a 15 year old.

[A]

Like yes, it's like a crazy Beck and then the. And Malachi Tony in Miami. It's like when Carson Beck enrolled in college, Malachi Tony was like 9 years old or something. And it's like 12 11. But it is like that where the thing I always say with DK whenever we talk about like life advice and Dick is like, oh, maybe I don't know what I'm talking about. I'm like, no, you do. Because deacon theory is 12 years older than like we're 30, I guess we're 31 almost. And DK, you're 43. Yeah, but the difference is Deke has been an adult for like twice as long, like literally twice as long. So like he's.

[C]

I graduated college when you guys, you

[A]

were eligible to fight on 9 11. Craig and I were in first or second grade. And you were old enough to go to war.

[C]

Yeah, right.

[A]

So it's like it matters. And it's funny to think about Mesador, where on one hand I'm like, you know what? This is just the new world and I got to get used to it. It's like all these things in college football are weird. College sports are weird. You have Duke basketball players going to byu. You have like court. You have quarterbacks turning down fucking Alabama to go to Vanderbilt. And one of the things is, guess what? Indiana, who won the national championship, the average age of their team was over 23 years old, or at least for the starters. And the average age of the packers was like 25. And that's just how it is now. It's professional and nested. Or is 25. I'm like all right, I guess that means he's a pro. The flip side is I do wonder where. I'm like, yeah, he's 25. Like I don't know, I guess it's like, it's not like a Kenny Pickett thing where it's like if you don't have excellent traits and it took you that long to beat up younger kids, you're just Billy Madison playing dodgeball now.

[C]

You're just big trouble. Yeah.

[A]

But I don't know. The truth is I don't know what to make of this. It's fucking weird that this 25 year old kid, he's. He's a sixth year senior.

[C]

This is. Yeah. And again it, it all just goes back to. And this is the point of the combine for a lot of teams other than the medicals and the interviews were establishing benchmarks for these guys and a lot the athletic benchmarks. Some teams just refuse to go below either the physical or athletic benchmarks. And with the 25 year old guy, the track record for 25 year old pass rushers coming into the NFL is just not very good. You know what I mean? Because most of the time if you're a 22 year old pass rusher and you're really good, you're going to the NFL usually. You know what I mean? Like there's not a lot of really good 25 year old pass rushers because it takes him a long time to get to that point. But that being said, I love Akeem Essador. Honestly, I would, I would take a risk on him because he's an absolute maniac out there and he.

[B]

Was he not good 2 years ago last year? Like what. Why did he have a huge, like a way better year this year than usual?

[C]

I wouldn't say he broke out out of nowhere, you know what I mean? Like where, like a Kenny Pickett style thing where he was like okay, okay, okay, okay. And then put up incredible numbers in his final year. Yeah, it was sort of more step up, step up, step up. But, but yeah, I mean that is a legitimate question to ask. And he played for Miami for a few years, so it wasn't like he

[A]

just two years at West Virginia and then four years at Miami, which I

[C]

just four years at Miami. So I don't know. These are the impossible questions to ask. But he's an outlier because of that.

[A]

And I think that the, the key point though is what you see on the television for that, for the combine. That's assuming you watch the combine, which, you know what, this is a draft show. And you don't have to, if you don't want to be honest, going to be honest here. But the big stuff gets all the Attention. And we'll probably talk about it next week too, where it's like, oh, the fastest people stuff. The truth is what the teams look at more and what the testing's for is what DK said, which is the baselines. You. It's way more important. They want to know. It's not like you're trying to eliminate players from their board and they're trying to figure out who's not tall enough to get on the roller coaster. They're trying to be like, if you don't. If you're. The truth is as stupid as it sounds, if your arm's not long enough, then like, you're not going to be on our board. Like, if you're this or that. They have like minimum thresholds is what they're doing. They're trying to eliminate people from the hinge from their inch pool. That really is what they're doing with the testing, which is nuts. But this is what they're looking at.

[B]

Is there. Is there a specific player DK that you're most interested to see how they test, or is there any measurement or metric that you're most curious about?

[C]

I mean, I think the Bane thing is going to be interesting. I don't think it's like a make or break thing. In terms of how long his arms are. I would say just like I'm excited to see if any of the receivers are going to run. I would like to see how fast Carnell Tate is. If he runs really fast, I think that's going to be, you know, another checkbox next.

[B]

But you still value that, him running without a football, no pads in Indianapolis like that, that still makes a difference to you?

[C]

Not dramatically, no. I think. And that is kind of the idea with the combine is it's a pass fail grade. If a guy is just straight up slow, that might make you pause and take him off. Your board doesn't have, quote unquote, NFL speed or NFL size. I think that's kind of an issue. But at the same time, you do kind of. This is what happens is human nature. You fall for the guys that are really, really explosive, right. And if they run a 4:3, that makes you go, hmm, maybe, maybe I didn't see that, you know, the first time. And I have to go back and like, watch what I'm rewatch what I was, you know, looking at before.

[A]

Another thing that's happening too, which is I think the 40 yard dash matters a lot less too, because now teams are able to track players speed in games where there's more tracking data in college football. I don't want to pretend understand all the rules involved with all the different tracking but it's. But they also what they can do is they're getting a little more accurate with just taking game tape and having AI figure out how fast people are going just based on the frame.

[C]

That's crazy.

[B]

So way more valuable.

[A]

Yes. Because infinitely more valuable if you think about it. A good example is probably Matthew golden from last year at the Texas who's a really fast player. There's no doubt Matthew Golden's fast but then he runs a 40 yard dash. Here's the Matthew Golden. Matthew Golden's mom was like a like college champion sprinter or something like a track athlete and I think his aunt was too. So when you have guys who have like perfect track form.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Suddenly getting out of the blocks is really important to your 40 yard dash. And it doesn't fucking matter in football. It's a matter how fast you play when pads and so that's how the Rams from Pukinakua among other things was is 40 like it wasn't that fast. But his game speedy plays fast because which is nuance but it matters how fast you play if it doesn't translate. And so that is also something where. And then additional the testing's weird because agents are like why would I have my guys now that it's normalized to not do everything? Why would I have my guys do anything they're bad at? So instead of doing eight things you're going to do these one to three things and you do more if you're like a lesser prospect but you're going to only train for those three. So you're going to get really good at it.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So it's not even the historical stuff isn't even as good because it's self selecting. Which is why there's more relative athletic scores that are good now because guys aren't doing anything they're bad at because why would you just pull out of the event you pretend you pulled your hamstring.

[C]

I mean I think Craig. Craig, to answer your question and I was going to try and pull up Nick Evan Worry's numbers but the I think the one thing I will say that I take away from the combine is sometimes guys have just absolutely freakish testing numbers. And that to me is like when it's more than one test this guy is just a rare, rare athlete. And that's what Nick Emman worry was. I mean he was like broad jump, vertical jump 40. I can't remember exactly what all of them was, all of the numbers were. But he was basically the most athletic safety we've ever seen at the combine. If you kind of like make a total, I think it's the relative athletic score. Like he was like one of the top 99th percentile. That kind of thing does matter, I think, to me, because it is a, it is a game where speed and explosiveness and size matter. And so, yeah, that kind of stuff, like, does pique my interest. For the most part, though, if you just look at one or two tests and he did really well this or did really well at that, it's not going to move the needle a whole lot. It's more like the opposite. If he did really, really slow, then you kind of start to doubt that it'll work.

[A]

And again, the order is teams want to know the medicals and then teams want to interview players for their psych profile, but also they want to pull up tape where they have questions and be like, what's, what's your deal here? And then the testing is just kind of like the third thing. But for the order that they give it to fans, it's testing and then it's interview stuff comes out and then the medical stuff doesn't really come out at all.

[D]

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[E]

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[A]

All right, with that said, I want to get into some important draft analysis here. I want to play a game. Craig, you don't know. We're doing this great. I call it defensive and you, Endo. And Craig, we're gonna. We're gonna play again.

[C]

Nuendo.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Defensive and you. Oh, I see.

[A]

Okay. Because we're running out of jargons for two jargons and a lie. So I want to pilot potential new versions of Two jargons and a lie. So instead of two jargons and a lie, which for new listeners, this is what we do during draft. We. Because drafts, there's a lot of draft jargon. I. We're gonna do something called. Well, I'm gonna. Craig, I'm gonna read you a sentence, okay? And I want you to tell me if this is a description of a player that Danny Kelly wrote for a defensive end in this year's draft or if it is a description of Zaden Ryerson, who's the one of the main characters in 4th Wing, which is a romanasy novel by Rebecca Yarros.

[C]

So it's lady smut.

[A]

Lady smut. Is it defensive end description, draft prospect description, or lady smut description?

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Is that the term, lady smut?

[C]

I don't know.

[B]

I like that.

[A]

I don't think any women listening would be upset by that.

[B]

What's the name of the book?

[A]

Fourth Wing Rebecca. It was like the number one selling book or two years ago.

[B]

Did you read it?

[A]

Yes, I did. Jackie wrote it. It's great.

[C]

Yes, I did.

[A]

It's like if the. It's like if the Air Force Academy in Colorado.

[B]

Yes, I did. Jackie read it. Did you read it?

[A]

Yes, I did.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Okay. I did.

[A]

Fourth one.

[C]

Wait, so you listened to it on book, on tape, or you read the actual book?

[B]

Did you read the book?

[A]

Good question. I read it.

[B]

You read the book? Was it good? Did you. Did you enjoy it?

[A]

Yes, it's good.

[B]

I bet you did. It's. Look, what'd you like about it? The clips?

[A]

The plot?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, read it for the plot.

[A]

Heywatch.

[C]

He read it for the articles.

[A]

It does have good plot.

[B]

Okay, go ahead. I'm ready.

[A]

All right, so again, we're playing here. Is this something Danny Kelly used to describe a defensive end in this year's draft, or is it fantasy smut about. From Fourth Wing? All right. Ruggedly built, high energy, overwhelms with brute force. But his aggressive nature can be a double edged sword.

[C]

Oh my God.

[B]

Dk.

[C]

Yeah, that's correct.

[A]

Yeah, that is correct. Yeah, that's actually a key. Messador the guy we're just talking slimmer than ideal build and light in the pants

[B]

once again. Dk.

[A]

I think that's true. That's David Bailey, who's probably the first defensive end this year.

[C]

Little light in the pants.

[B]

Light in the pants. Dk, please. Can you tell us what that means? Not enough leg muscles.

[C]

Yeah. Okay, he's pushed off the line.

[B]

Just say that. What do you guys say? Light in the pants.

[C]

I don't know because I like to make it a little spicy. That's all.

[B]

Light in the pants.

[A]

He uncoils and alternates between bending inside or going straight with bulldozer like power.

[B]

I'm gonna go with DK again.

[A]

Yeah, that is Chase Young from Ohio State.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I thought uncoiling would get you.

[C]

I've been writing lady smut this whole time.

[A]

Draft is just lady smut for men.

[C]

The funny thing is I. I literally Ifitz ran this by me before the show just to see if I thought it was funny and I was like, hell yeah. But I also kind of have laid off on the physical descriptions a little bit this year because I was like, I sound like a creep when I'm doing this.

[A]

All right, we got massive chest with wide shoulders and heavily muscled arms.

[B]

I. Becky. Becky Aros.

[A]

Yes, that is. That is.

[C]

I was relieved to hear that wasn't.

[B]

Yeah, you're like, God, was that me?

[A]

A barrel chested brawler who creates havoc and has intensity, raising energy.

[B]

Dk.

[A]

Yeah, it's Peter Woods.

[B]

Clemson Peter Woods.

[A]

Body honed like a weapon. All sharp lines. Barely leashed power accentuates every punch. DK, that is from 4th Wing.

[B]

Can you read that again?

[A]

Body honed like a weapon. All sharp lines. Barely leashed power accentuates every punch.

[B]

Who. What character is that? Hyphens?

[A]

That is Zaden Ryerson.

[B]

Who is that?

[A]

He's like the.

[C]

Who's playing that guy in the movie.

[A]

He's like the Lizan Al Gaib. If Timothee Chalamet looked like the guy who plays Jacob from Twilight.

[B]

Taylor Lautner.

[A]

If. If Timothy Chalamer was like he's. Or sure. Henry Cavill.

[B]

He's kind of very different.

[A]

He's like a rebel. I don't know. He's just the leader of.

[B]

Henry Cavill's a fucking specimen.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what? I. You know what? I love that story about Henry Cavill and the mustache with the Superman.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Like, will you tell that real. That's the best.

[C]

No, I don't know this one.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

It was when he did Mission Impossible, right? They had AI. Are they like, that is CGI out his mustache.

[A]

There was some contract. What are the two studios? There was Mission Impossible and Superman at the same time at one of the studios just.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Had the contractual right to his facial hair.

[B]

Right. So he had to keep the mustache because he was doing probably. Yeah. And there's probably Mission where he had to keep the mustache, but then they had to CGI out his mustache filming Superman.

[C]

My. My favorite thing about the Henry Cavill lore or whatever is do you guys did see in. It was in Fallout.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

When he. His hands or he. His fists, before he's fighting, he like, he, like, he's. He's like, about to fight. He goes like. And like, cocks him.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

He's ready. Like.

[A]

Like that. Like 1920s boxer stance. Like, they're really high.

[C]

And I guess it was like, not in the script or anything. It just. He just felt it in the moment. And people.

[B]

That's pretty awesome.

[C]

But it is.

[A]

It does look.

[B]

I love that in the movie tag, they had to CGI Jeremy Renner's hands because he broke both of them.

[A]

Oh, geez.

[B]

Wow. He just had fake hands in the movie.

[C]

Oh, my. He's got CGI hands. So he's got like seven fingers.

[B]

It's like when AI. AI can't do hands.

[A]

Yeah, well, no one could do hands. People can't do hands either. No one can draw hands. That's why no animated show is five figures.

[B]

They always do the three with the thumb.

[A]

Simpsons, Family Guy, Big Mouth, Any animated show. It's like they're like, yeah, we'll do like three.

[B]

I even think in Avatar, I think they only had the navi. I think they only have three fingers and a thumb.

[A]

Can someone email at ringer fantasy football gmail.com and just explain why. Why can't you draw hands?

[B]

It is weird.

[C]

There have four. Craig, you're right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This goes back to my theory about why you don't you feel weird talking to people if you don't have something in your hand is. I think that the core is like, we still think hands are weird. We like millions of years old. We still think we're supposed to be on all fours. Like, it's weird that we're standing up. We don't know what to do. With our hands. Like, literally, it's deep in our DNA. And part of that is. I think that's why it's the thing if, like, people are on psychedelic drugs. It's like, don't look at your hands. It'll freak you out. Like, that's, like, a thing people say if you ever take ass or anything. What people say is don't look at your hands. And you're like, why? You're like, just don't.

[B]

Interesting.

[C]

I get that it's deep. I had an experience similar to that. Yeah.

[B]

Also, I want to get it right. He only broke one arm, not two. Jeremy Reiner. So they only cgi one arm, Not. Not both. That's both.

[A]

Imagine that person's job is just. You're adding hand. You're adding Jeremy Renner's.

[B]

Just like. Just like. Yeah. Frame by frame, pixel by pixel, filling in his hand.

[A]

Yeah. Okay.

[C]

All right, Keep going.

[A]

Oh, you want. You want more? Okay. I do have more. Okay. Merciless. Willing to annihilate anyone and everyone who stands in his path.

[B]

Oh, this is a. This is close. This could be either way.

[C]

I don't know the answer to this.

[B]

I'm going to go with dk.

[A]

That is Zaden Ryerson. That is fourth wing.

[B]

The same guy?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. This guy's a real monster.

[C]

This guy's a good defensive end. Yeah.

[A]

Employs a hump move.

[B]

Employs a hump move.

[A]

Employees a hump move.

[B]

Dk, do you know the answer to this? Yeah, I'm going to say you wrote that, you little freak.

[C]

Yeah. Reggie White right there. Hump move.

[A]

Cassius Howell, who is also another Will Campbell, who probably on Monday, probably measured with, like, 30 inch arms.

[C]

Scouting terms are extremely sexual. Yeah, it's.

[A]

Yeah. Well, there's no. I. I don't know why you got to have your mind in the gutter about it. Just defensive ends, pass rushers. You just gotta, like, bend, penetrate, finish. Use a hump move to bend, penetrate, finish. And it's all about your get off. I don't know why that has to be sexual. Don't you know? Okay.

[C]

Explosive. Get off.

[A]

Explosive. Get. All right, we're gonna beat the combine all of this week. We're gonna have a bunch of cool episodes, and then we'll have, like, a recap when all the drills are done over the weekend, we're gonna go to all the. There's, like, 26 GMs doing podiums, and, you know, I think 20 or so coaches. So we'll go and we'll just vibe.

[C]

I don't they all do it.

[A]

Some are just like it. I don't want it.

[C]

I remember, like, Belichick just refused to go.

[A]

Well, yeah, I, I, I think we should stay away from Andrew Berry, the energy vampire. Do you have any other serious things about the draft or can I tell you some other dumb stuff?

[C]

We have time to do serious stuff

[B]

about the draft later.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I have to tell you something really important I discovered today, and I'm sorry I haven't known this before, and I apologize, but there was a player in this draft from the University of Cincinnati. He's a defensive tackle. His name is Dante Corleone.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Don Corleone. He's an actual player in this draft.

[C]

Oh, that's good.

[B]

Dante. Is it Corleone or Corleone?

[A]

Well, Corleone.

[C]

Well, it's how you spell the Corleone.

[A]

It's the same spelling as the movie. Don Corleone is literally a player in this draft.

[B]

I mean, his nickname, according to Wikipedia, is the Godfather.

[A]

Yes. How could it not?

[C]

It was sitting right there.

[A]

Now, even weirder is there was almost a player in this draft named Chris de Apollonia. Like his wife's name in the movie is Apollonia. Right. Well, not Michael's wife.

[B]

Well, when he goes to Italy. Yes. He meets Apollonia.

[A]

Apollonia. He transferred to Syracuse instead of going to the draft, but there was almost a fucking Dante Corleone and Apollonia in this fucking draft, which you're lucky. Nothing. But it's weird.

[B]

And we have a Sonny Slash.

[A]

Oh, my gosh.

[B]

We're very close. We need a K. We need a Tom Hagen. Yeah, we're close.

[A]

We have a son. Just. We cast the Godfather with the Tom Hagen.

[B]

Is there a Tom Hagen in the draft? RIP I know. Robert Duvall.

[E]

This episode is brought to you by TaxAct. Like an expert coach, Taxact offers step by step guidance and guaranteed accuracy when filing taxes. Get tips along the way. Add expert assist to talk to tax experts and let our experts do your taxes for you. With Expert full service, TaxAct helps you find the deductions and credits you deserve so you can get them over with. Visit taxact.com to learn more. Conditions apply. See taxact.com for details.

[A]

My day kicks off with a refreshing Celsius energy drink. Then straight to the gym, pre K pickup back home to meal prep. Time for my fire station shift. One more Celsius. Gotta keep the lights on when the three alarm hits. I'm ready. Celsius. Celsius. Live fit. Go grab a cold, refreshing Celsius at your local retailer or locate [e-mail]. can I read you guys some emails?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I have an email from last year explaining why it. We ended up calling it combine instead of combine. Do you guys want to know the answer? Who cares?

[B]

Yeah, I do.

[C]

So Thomas wrote this technical definition of why we say combine.

[A]

There's a reason the NFL combine is pronounced combine. It because we're, like, just. They combined events, just called.

[B]

Well, the word combine is a verb, and it's weird to call something a verb. A proper noun, a verb.

[A]

And all English speakers kind of intuitively know this, but very few people could explain that as the answer. But that is. That is the reason it's kind of ruins our joke. There's also a whole order of the ways you talk about. You describe things. Like the way you would describe, like, a really big, ugly, fat, green frog or whatever. Like, it's weird if you're like, green, fat, ugly, big frog, whatever. Like, there's a certain, like, order. And all English speakers kind of just know the order, but no one could explain it. But, like, people learning English is a nightmare. It's a nightmare.

[C]

It's a fucking nightmare.

[A]

The word nightmare is a g. Pretty

[B]

easy for me, but.

[C]

Yeah, you're the only one that can talk in this.

[B]

Nobody can understand a word this guy's saying. Nobody.

[A]

Oh, my God. Wait.

[C]

I have to.

[A]

Wait. I didn't tell you guys this.

[B]

So I speak in another language. What the hell's he saying? Sounds like this guy's speaking Spanish. I can't understand this dude.

[A]

It's so good. So we were talking in the last episode about bad. Like, names you probably wouldn't want to be named anymore, I think. Oh, it started because rip to Sonny Jurgensen, the quarterback who passed. We went to his Wikipedia. It turns out Sonny Jurgensen's middle name was Adolf.

[B]

Different spelling difference. Like a success named Hitler.

[C]

No, different spelling.

[B]

Different spelling, different spelling.

[A]

Have you ever read Mein Kampf? A couple times, yeah. Those are something you didn't get on the first read.

[B]

Something you missed there.

[A]

Checking the time.

[B]

I skimmed it. Skimmed it.

[A]

Okay, okay. Just check it. Just check it. Oh, my God, that is so good. So we were talking about names you might not want anymore.

[B]

And it matters when you name. Like, they named Sonny Jurgensen adolf in, like, 1936.

[A]

What was it? 1934.

[C]

Like, right at the height of.

[B]

Right around. Yeah, right.

[C]

His rise.

[B]

Dicey

[A]

little Reichstag. Fiery somewhere in there. So anyway, we're talking about what other names? So there's close Calls people have had with names. And a lot of people emailed this in shout out to Rich. But a lot of people sent this in that John. John Mulaney did this fucking bid on snluster is amazing about a real newer councilman running. Oh, yeah, New York council named Harvey Epstein. Oh, and John Mulaney made a campaign commercial for this guy named Harvey Epstein. He's like, I am in no way related to either Harvey nor Epstein. It would make no sense for me to be related to either of them. That doesn't make any sense. It's so good. And they're like. And they have him at, like, a. Like a playground. He's like, I'm gonna make this place safe for the schools. I love children. And it's campaign stuff. Like, don't say that. He's like, not like that. It's incredible. But it's a real guy.

[B]

That's good.

[A]

It's an incredible Mullady bit. I highly recommend it. The other one, someone talk about close calls. There's two good ones. Well, one is. This one's from Sam.

[B]

Sammy.

[A]

Sam writes. What's up, guys? Breakfast was overnight oats with a banana granola and a cup of coffee.

[B]

I love overnight oats.

[C]

Very healthy. Yeah.

[A]

One day, if you get me drunk, I'll tell you about overnight overnight oats.

[C]

I don't know what that is.

[B]

Really?

[C]

No, I think actually it's Skippy eats it, but I don't actually know what it is.

[B]

It's basically you put oats and milk and like, fruit or whatever in a little jar and let it sit overnight. So the oats soak up the milk, and it turns into, like, a nice little yogurty thing in the morning.

[C]

That sounds pretty good, actually.

[A]

Okay, I have to tell you guys something. This is an own goal, but it's funny, so I'll do it for the show. But I'm gonna admit something, and I'm either gonna regret this. Okay, I'm probably gonna regret it. So where's this? One of the people I used to work for here at the ringer was Craig Gaines, who was the head of the. He's the head of the copy desk here at the Ringer for the website. And I was an editorial intern. I was, like, a fact checker. So I was, like, right before COVID like, I was in that office with Craig Gaines a lot. And Craig, we would always talk, and he was telling me his breakfast, I think, at the commissary. Craig, if you remember, they used to sell overnight oats and Oats. So we were talking about that. I was trying to eat a healthier breakfast, blah, blah, blah. So Craig started telling me about overnight oats and stuff, and this was kind of the last conversation I had in, like, March 2020 before we all scattered to the four winds. So then I end up like, you know, I'm like, oh, goodness. Just like home, and I'm away. And I just remember Craig saying overnight oats and explaining it. So I did. Not enough research. A little. But sometimes a little research is worse than none at all.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And I did just enough. So I thought, what overnight oats was. You make oatmeal at night and you let it sit. And so I would make oatmeal and just come back to it and eat it 12 hours later. And I did that for a week. And that is what I was eating in March 2020.

[C]

Literal Dr.

[A]

I was like, oh, at home, it's like, healthy.

[B]

And so you poured boiling water on oats and then just let him sit there for 12 hours.

[A]

And I ate it. I thought I was really. I thought that was overnight oats.

[B]

How was it?

[C]

That's like just porridge.

[B]

It must not have been bad for you to stick with it.

[A]

So here's the problem.

[C]

He's like, why does everybody like this?

[A]

Here's the problem.

[B]

If it was a disaster, you would have bailed.

[A]

My dad loved it, so he was like, this is good. You should. My dad been telling me to oatmeal forever. He's like, this is great. And so I said I thought I was good at it, so I tried to make it. I am cooking people. And then my friends were like, what is wrong with you?

[B]

Like, this is peasant mush. It's the food.

[C]

It's the food they eat on the Matrix in the ship

[B]

with my friends explaining space food.

[A]

I don't know if I've ever felt dumber than when my friends explained that one to me.

[B]

That's. That's really good.

[C]

I'm sure we've done this prompt before, some version of this, but I like, we got to do a prompt like this where it's like you thought you were doing something right. And it was.

[A]

Oh, yeah, very. Not right. Especially with cooking. But for anything. Anything where you like. For me, I would say the week is, dude, it's probably fucking two weeks. Like it was. That's probably why I probably had Jerry Judy over fucking Justin Jefferson. You know, me and John Elliot eating overnight oats. I don't know.

[C]

Right to the brain.

[A]

Email us at Ringer Fantasy Football, gmail.com. if you. If that reminded you of anything that you did or your friends did. Anyway, all that. This is why we do breakfast stories.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Thank you for that breakfast. Haven't you got to. Sam writes, heifetz mentioned. Or you guys were talking about. One of the unusable names now is like, O.J.

[C]

right.

[A]

So Sam writes my last name, starts with a W, and my dad really wanted my initials to be. Wow. Okay. I was born in, like, end of 1993, so, like, you know, seven months or whatever. Six months before the O.J. simpson murders. Allegedly, he's dead, so I guess it doesn't matter morally. But also legally. So Sam writes the runner up for my name. Like the top two names my parents were thinking about in the hospital was Wesley Orenthal.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

And Orenthal is The O. And O.J.

[C]

right.

[B]

Yeah. Middle name, though.

[A]

You can.

[B]

You can survive, get away with it,

[A]

but imagine learning, like, your husband's middle name is Orenthal.

[B]

So. But this kid's name is so.

[A]

So they didn't deal with it.

[B]

No. They didn't even give him a W. They beat him.

[A]

The other one. I love, I love this story.

[C]

Real quick, did I ever tell you guys that I. I found a report that I made in, like, first grade about how great O.J. simpson was as a running back? I, like, did this whole book on it, and then I found it later. I was like, oh, Jesus Christ.

[B]

It's all right.

[C]

Yeah. That didn't age well.

[A]

Yeah, no, you're canceled.

[C]

I mean, I'm old enough.

[B]

You should have known.

[C]

I'm old enough to have written that as a kid. That's.

[A]

That's actually wild.

[C]

That's the difference in our age. Yes.

[B]

What month O.J. the. The car chase is over the summer, Right.

[A]

It was June. There's a 30 for 30 on it because it's like the same day was like the Rangers won the Stanley cup. And like, there was a ton of sports happening that day. It was.

[B]

It was June. 94.

[A]

Yeah, June something.

[B]

So I. I wasn't alive yet.

[A]

14th or something.

[C]

6-17-94.

[B]

Yeah, I was not alive. You.

[A]

June 17th. Yeah. Because it's like the NBA Finals were on, the Stanley cup was on, and then they're like about all that. Still remember that.

[C]

It's crazy.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Arnold Palmer won the. He won some, like the Masters. The golf, I guess, not the Masters. Some golf. It was a crazy day.

[B]

You know, we always joke about. Oh, like younger kids, when they hear the name Paul Newman, they think that the Salad dressing guy. The number one example of that has to be Arnold Palmer, right?

[A]

Yeah. He's just a drink.

[B]

He's just a drink.

[A]

They're like, wait, he won tournaments?

[B]

Like golf?

[A]

He won how many golfer. Why is the drink guy getting to tee off first at the Masters?

[B]

Like, I would wager that 99% of people under 25 years old think that Arnold Palmer. They had no idea that man played golf.

[A]

Golf, dude. It's so true. It's like Seth Rogen is just going to be known one day as the guy whose face is on all these little weed grinders. You know what I mean? They're like, no, no. He was an actor. He's gonna be 85 years old. He's gonna be a weed. He's gonna be a weed titan.

[C]

We.

[B]

We did an episode of the Town that we pre taped. It'll come out in a couple weeks. So I won't say who the guest is, but the guest was in their 30s, and they were talking about who Matt was or whatever. And the person we had on is somewhat famous, and they were talking about how famous each other were. And Matt was like, well, you probably. People your age probably don't know me. And she's like, of course I know you. You're the guy from the studio. Which I was like, oh, this is a perfect encapsulation of like, not the town, not his writing, but you're the guy from the studio.

[A]

Craig won't plug it, but if you like anything about Hollywood, Craig also produces the Town with Matthew Bellany, which is an amazing show. And Craig is too humble. But they literally had Ted Sarandos on last week and a really cool episode for 40 minutes. And Ted Sarandos, the head of Netflix, defended Netflix's $80 billion purchase and of Warner Brothers and the whole deal and everything happening there. And that was like. We had to move our schedule around it. And Craig was like, hey, guys, do you mind?

[B]

It was like DK said, tell Ted to wait.

[A]

Yeah. And I said, ted, content to make for Ted's company.

[B]

I told him. I was like, ted, you realize that you coming on means the ringer fantasy football show is going to go up eight hours later on Netflix. That cool with you? And he was like, ah. He thought about it. He's like, okay, it's fine. But yeah, listen to that episode.

[C]

The Craig heads out there. Craig is also on most of the episodes, doing the. The last part of it.

[B]

And that's true. We also today, if. If you're listening, on Monday, we had an Episode come out with the head of Sony Pictures. Also fantastic. Tom Rothman. Really smart, interesting guy.

[A]

It's a. Yeah. Listen to the town. It's good. We have another email from here from Nick. Sorry to get to important business here. We have an email from Nick.

[B]

Nikki and Bone breakfast this morning.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

I didn't read the breakfast. I just kind of skipped over it. Two Reese's Valentine hearts.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Oh, the Reese's chocolate that our shapes are so much better. The ratio of chocolate to peanut butter of, like, the pumpkins, the Christmas trees, the Easter ones, like the Val. Like, just so much better than.

[B]

Yeah. I saw some claims recently that. That Reese's altered their recipe to remove a lot of real chocolate and peanut butter and replace it with a bunch of crap. I don't know if that's true, but I. I saw that on the Interwebs.

[C]

Who's Reese's biggest competitor? Sees candy, is, like, going after them or something.

[B]

I probably. I mean, I feel like all these companies are all owned by the same company. When you go. They're probably not competing with anybody who does number two work for.

[C]

Reese's is owned by Hershey.

[B]

So I was getting. Right.

[C]

It's not Hershey.

[B]

Who owns Hershey's, though? Like the Koch brothers. I don't know who it is.

[C]

Who owns Hershey.

[A]

Mars.

[B]

It all goes to the top.

[C]

It's controlled by the Milton Hershey School Trust.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Owns them.

[B]

There's a great. There's a guy out there who just does his whole. All of his content is just pointing out which companies own other companies. And it's my content. It literally all leads to, like, five companies. Own everything, dude.

[A]

There's charts that are made to their infographics that are just like. If you look at, like, Unilever, like, Mondelez and like. Like these. Like, all these things that just. It is actually insane how big. Like, it's.

[B]

Yeah, it's like Black Rock just owns, like, 30% of the market of everything. It's everything. It's crazy.

[C]

True. Don't think about it.

[A]

Don't think about it. Dude. The big. I know you guys don't watch Rick and Morty, but there's the first episode of Rick and Morty. There's just. He. They're running from security at an airport, and they knock over a guy smoking a. A bong. And the bong breaks. The smoke comes out, becomes a baby. And in three seconds, while they're running, the baby grows into a child, a teenager, an adult, an elderly man, and dies of a heart attack. In three seconds. And they're running from security guards. And he looks back, and Morty's like, what? Then Rick's just like, don't think about it.

[C]

I feel like I say that to myself a lot during the day, especially these days. I'm just like, ah, don't think about it.

[B]

It's the grandson of the Reese's Peanut Butter Cups inventor, HB Reese, who has accused Hershey of replacing the candy's original ingredients with cheaper alternatives.

[A]

Stop it.

[C]

What?

[B]

His grandson, HSB Reese. I'm gonna look him up. He probably played in the NFL.

[A]

HP Reese. Stop it. Do you think HB Reese's grandson would come on the show to defend Harry Burnett Reese?

[B]

Your occupation being a chocolatier is some Willy Wonka shit. Your actual title.

[A]

Dude, are you reading his Wikipedia?

[B]

He was inducted into the Candy hall of Fame. There's a Candy hall of Fame?

[A]

How is there a candy.

[C]

You need to make a pilgrimage to wherever that is.

[A]

National Confectioners Association.

[C]

Where is it?

[A]

Is there a place evaluated $35 billion of.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

For the confectionery industry class of 2021.

[B]

It hosts an annual show, the National Candy show in Chicago.

[C]

Oh, hell, yeah, dude.

[A]

We gotta go to the Candy hall of Fame, dude.

[B]

As of 2024, the sweets and Snacks Expo take place in Indianapolis.

[C]

What?

[B]

Stop.

[C]

When?

[A]

Get.

[C]

When are we gonna be there?

[A]

No, it's. When is bow. Because we wanted to do the forklift rodeo.

[B]

Oh, there's a controversy going on.

[A]

Get back to me.

[C]

There always is.

[A]

Don't tell me it's milkshake Duck to write.

[B]

Why is Trump's name in this page?

[A]

Oh, my God. The National Confectioners association is lobbying the Trump administration to advocate for the rollback of government policies that make things more expensive. Oh. Oh, God. We milkshake duck the chocolatiers in record time.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

$40 billion candy industry is probably problematic.

[C]

Yeah, don't think about it. Just go to the hall of Fame, dude.

[B]

HB Reese, how many kids you think he had?

[A]

You're asking 17?

[B]

8?

[C]

16.

[B]

16 children? Yes. You're diluting.

[C]

You're diluting your inheritance quite a lot there, pal. Wow.

[B]

His wife Blanche was really working.

[C]

She. She's the one who belongs to the hall of Fame.

[B]

There should be a childbearing hall of Fame. Who has the. Who has the record? Sixteen's up there, man.

[C]

Blanche, there's a guy. The Candy hall of Fame. Another one of the Candy hall of Fame inductees for last year, Craig Jim Dodge from Mars Wrigley Yeah, another company that probably owns everything. Well, Mars Wrigley.

[A]

Mars is the second largest private owned company in America. I think it's like the Koch brothers company and then Mars. Mars. The largest privately owned companies in the country. Forest Mars junior Was also inducted to the hall of fame. The Candy hall of Fame.

[B]

We got to find out more.

[A]

After the show of fame, we usually talk and figure out what the name is. I've never been so confident that the final words hall of Fame.

[C]

Ours was started in Tacoma.

[B]

Okay. I gotta say. HB Reese died in 1956, and it wasn't until 2009 he was inducted into the Candy hall of Fame.

[C]

What are they waiting for?

[B]

He fucking created Reese's. This guy's name is HB Reese.

[A]

Dude, we got mad about Belichick not being first ballot the fucking 50 years it took.

[C]

All the damn people on the committee were just mad because he was dick.

[B]

53 years. How did you.

[A]

Wait. You had to make it to the senior bracket. Lost his el. That's fucking crazy. This is worse than Belichick not making the hall of Fame. Holy.

[B]

I love that there are classes of 10, 10 people in 20, 21, 2017.

[A]

What palms do you think you got a grease to get in the Candy hall of Fame?

[C]

You got a. You got to hand out a lot of candy.

[A]

The voters are just like, let me wet the beak, you know, Let me

[C]

literally wet your beak with this Reese's.

[A]

This is crazy. Where is this a physical building? I'm gonna go to Google Maps. I'm taking a Candy hall of Fame.

[C]

It's just a giant Reese's.

[B]

Forest Mars Jr. Was inducted in 2021.

[A]

Dude, we got it. All right, we gotta email us if you know anything about this and other weird hall of Fames, but I like

[C]

that they're all named. I didn't realize they're all named after the candy. Like, I just didn't think about it.

[A]

Well, yeah, candy's named after them.

[C]

They're actually the Reese's. Yeah, it's Reese's Candy.

[A]

That's so good.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, dk, you would have made a Kelly bar and it would have been huge.

[E]

Damn it.

[C]

Missed opportunity.

[B]

Horbeck bars don't sell. Well, those don't. Those.

[C]

No.

[A]

That sounds like there's a lot of Horbeck confectioner. Sounds like there's overnight oats in the. In the coral.

[B]

I would. What I would do just like Reese and Horbeck would just be hb.

[C]

Oh, yeah, there we go. Now we're talking. Now we're cooking.

[A]

We are cooking.

[B]

Anyway. Okay, did we get to that person's email or no.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

I don't even know.

[A]

We just started from the. Nick just wrote, breakfast was two Reese's Valentine hearts. And I didn't go any further. Nick's just on the edge of his seat waiting for the se.

[B]

It would have been really funny if we just ended the show, like, all right, so that'll do it.

[A]

You always feel bad when we do that, and we just get on some other tangent. We read the name and we don't. So next. Rest of his email was. Rest of his breakfast was two Reese's Valentine's hearts. Strawberry cinnamon toast crunch. Scattered pieces of Costco shredded chicken. What the. This guy is making breakfast for a child.

[B]

Too much chicken with Reese's.

[A]

I was preparing a sandwich for lunch. He was preparing a sandwich for lunch. So he's making a sandwich, and he's. And he's eating some of the chicken and strawberry toast cinnamon crunch.

[C]

Huh. I can see that kind of. Does he have a kid? Is he like, kids food?

[A]

If you keep a food log that like to, like, you know, like, keep track of what you're eating for calories, what they say is you'll eat less. What you actually end up doing is you realize you do shit like this, which is, I eat cereal and shredded chicken from my lunch.

[B]

I do. Sometimes I think about how weird it is, how quickly we go from dessert from dinner to dessert. Like, I could be three minutes away from ice cream in the middle of eating, like, a duck leg. And I just think that's very bizarre to be like, man, that was some good pate. What's next? Strawberry sherbert. Great. Let's mix those together.

[C]

I'm very pro. Eat dessert right away, though.

[A]

You love dessert, dude. When you go on the road, do they. When they're like, dessert menu. I learned I don't keep dessert in

[C]

the house because I. I'll eat it within 72 hours, dude.

[A]

I had to explain that to Jackie. Jackie was like, well, we'll just keep the dessert here and just don't eat it all. And I'm like, that's. We're. It's not gonna work.

[B]

We're about to go from two pounds of shrimp and horseradish to three minutes later, we're having a chocolate souffle.

[C]

Hell, yeah.

[B]

Mixing around in there.

[A]

You're, like, in your stomach wondering what to talk about.

[C]

Yeah, I'm pro. Immediately eat dessert. I love it. I get, like, a sweet tooth as soon as I'M done eating you do you.

[A]

Yeah. You're just.

[C]

Okay. You're just that with.

[B]

That's like a fully chocolate. That is a learned thing, right, that we crave sweet after dinner. That's just completely.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Anyway, what the hell did this guy say in his email? Still. Better be a fucking good email.

[A]

It's pretty funny. So Nick wrote, it's about the names. And we talk about all these names. Probably, you know, the. The worst names you could be named. And Nick writes, when I was at the end of my eighth grade year, which was the final year of middle school, we got to do a visit to the high school and we got to meet some of the teachers and the principal and some counselors we would have in high school. And my parents wanted to see who my guidance counselor was going to be in high school. So my guidance counselor shakes my dad's hand and says, hey, please call me Chuck. They sit down and Nick says, my dad looks at the guy's nameplate at his desk, and the nameplate says, Mr. Manson.

[B]

Please call me Chuck.

[A]

Please, Chuck. And Chuck. Please call me Chuck.

[B]

Charles was my father. Please call me Chuck.

[C]

Charles Manson was like in the 60s.

[A]

Guidance counselor.

[B]

Oh, that's good.

[A]

Charles Manson, the guidance counselor. Nick said, he's a great guy.

[C]

Yeah, you got to do that. You got to go by Chuck. You have no choice.

[A]

You got to go. Middle name.

[C]

Even if it's go by Chaz.

[A]

Chaz.

[C]

Chaz Manson.

[A]

Imagine being Charles.

[B]

Is Chaz short for Chuck?

[C]

Charles.

[A]

Charles.

[B]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[A]

It's like the Peggy to Margaret.

[C]

I'm pretty sure it is.

[A]

Okay, should have one other dumb email. The email I said the subject line is, you ruined my life. It's also a little bit about names. We could save it again and just keep rolling this one over until we get to it. Or I could read it.

[B]

No, I'd like. I want to know how we ruin someone's life. That sounds like a good.

[A]

A little lengthy. It's a little lengthy, but I do think it's funny. Okay, so this is from Luke.

[B]

Luke.

[C]

Luki.

[A]

Luk again. Luki. Jesus.

[B]

That one doesn't. That doesn't roll out.

[A]

Didn't like that, Kelbone. I can't believe there's a Chocolate hall of Fame. Anyway, Luke. Luke writes again. The subject line was, you may have ruined my life. Luke writes, so there's this girl I've been head over heels for for the last year. I recently had a breakthrough a few weeks ago. She confided in Me one night immediately after breaking up with her longtime boyfriend.

[C]

All right.

[A]

And Luke writes, I wish I could say that the ex boyfriend is an unfortunately, the ex boyfriend. Delightful guy.

[B]

Ah.

[A]

And I threw this delightful ex boyfriend under the bus without hesitation as soon as the opportunity presented itself. I am, without a doubt, a massive piece of shit. So Luke writes, I was able to parlay that. I parlayed the breakup into two recent hangouts, One with her and a friend. And then tonight, just her. It was. This is a week ago or whatever it's like. Or Monday, I don't know. So not Valentine's Day. So Luke writes, earlier we were. On this day, we were walking at a park. And she even notes that she's not sure why she's hanging out with me so soon after she dumps this guy. I know. And kind of suggesting she was having a good time. And even Nick, in Luke's eyes, maybe implying something between us could be possible. I'm giving you all this background to set the stage for how tragic what follows is. And this is your fault. Allegedly. I think it's his fault. We went by my apartment to grab my pickleball gear, naturally. And they were going to play pickleball together. And says, while we're there these days.

[C]

Sorry, I had to.

[B]

That was good.

[C]

No, I didn't edit.

[B]

That was good. I liked it. I didn't edit playing pickleball.

[A]

Kind of like that.

[C]

Yeah, it is.

[A]

Playing pickleball. Are you. So Luke says while we're there, she gets a call from her aunt, and she says it might be a little bit. So this call could take us several minutes. So she goes onto my patio, and I figure I'll just pick up where I left off on today's podcast and I'll iron some clothes until she's done. So which.

[B]

So, unfortunately, she's taking a phone call, and he goes inside and decides to iron his clothes.

[A]

Well, she goes, they're inside getting pickleball gear. Her aunt calls her. She goes outside to take the call. She says, this could be a while. This could be a minute.

[B]

Okay. And he's just so.

[C]

He's multitasking.

[A]

And he's like, I'll just do something

[B]

I gotta respond to.

[C]

Iron these clothes.

[B]

That's pretty unique. That's responsible.

[A]

Part of me thinks ironing the clothes was. Was on purpose. He's like, I'm domesticated. And, yeah, look at it. I can.

[B]

Classy. I'm not a boy, I'm a man. Yeah.

[A]

So he puts on the pot. He's ironing and he says, unfortunately, I get to the part of the podcast where you fucking weirdos are just naming old people's names back and forth, and you guys just giggle. And he says, I am just giggling along. And you guys are like, betty.

[C]

Ha ha ha.

[A]

Betty. Who's named Betty? Dot. Dottie.

[C]

Oh, no.

[A]

Abigail. Beverly. And we were just naming names. He's cackling.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So Luke says, little did I know, she. She had come back inside from the patio, sat there for multiple minutes, just watched me ironing clothes and listening to three cycle paths, saying names. And I am laughing.

[B]

Okay?

[A]

I turn around, I notice her. I pause the podcast, thinking we're gonna go play pickleball. And she. She does not move a muscle or say anything. And she. After, like, a minute, like. Like a wild pause, she says, what were you listening to? And she is the most confounded and concerned look I've ever seen on another person's face. And I'm like, I think a perfectly reasonable response to witnessing a man ironing clothes laughing at this stuff. And she was so concerned, I panicked. And she doesn't know anything about football. So I just start talking about the fantasy draft from last fall. And I explained the fantasy draft is. Remember that dinner where some of our mutual friends had that. That big poster with all the stickers? And then she's like, so fantasy football is just naming people who named Peggy plays football? Reasonable question. So then I realized I'm not explaining it well. I spiral, panic even more, try to laugh it off, play it cool. I already let the pressure get to me, not able to land the plane, keep explaining. And then she was so miffed, I destroyed all the momentum I had romantically, and then changed the dynamic. We go to play pickleball. I start overcompensating, playing pickleball, try too hard to win, and start going a little too hard playing pickleball, which makes it worse.

[B]

And then we gave her the ick.

[A]

We gave her the ick. We gave this girl the ick. Naming his taste in us, I would argue he.

[B]

What's her name?

[A]

I don't think he wants to name her. I do worry her name was, like, Bonnie something. It was Dot. Dottie. Dottie or Beverly or Gertrude. We did hear from a girl.

[B]

I feel like our boy Luke here kind of fumbled the. Fumbled the bag a little bit.

[A]

I think Luke is friend zoned through. Thought he was on the precipice of. Of escaping the friend zone, which maybe he was, but you have, like, you know, you're Luke Scott. You have a very narrow ch. You're the Doctor Strange. You got one in 14 million. And then he gave her the ick. But he panicked to give you the ick.

[C]

That's the problem.

[B]

I know. Like, have some pocket awareness. Like, peel out of that. You could get out of that. This is a show about football. They were joking about names at the end of the pod.

[A]

Anyway, less is more. Anyway, podcast I like.

[B]

How was your aunt?

[C]

And then he Spike. And then he spikes the ball into her.

[A]

Exactly. How was your aunt? Yeah, how was your aunt?

[B]

How was the phone call? Oh, it's his dumb show about football. These guys are screwing around. How's your. Done.

[A]

Done.

[B]

Never talk about yourself.

[A]

Don't make her realize that you're you.

[C]

What podcast does she need to hear him listening to to get the un. Ick.

[B]

Oh, that's good. What are the green flag pods to listen to? Honestly, the daily npr.

[A]

I think it's good hang. I think it's good hang with probably. Yeah, I think that's a big green flag for women. If NPR polar spot. We're probably a red flag.

[C]

That's tough.

[B]

No, we can't be a red flag. We're neutral. We're neutral.

[A]

Yeah, we're. What is that? What's yellow flag, white flag? I don't know. White surrender.

[C]

He surrendered. I'm in the friend zone.

[B]

She's like, hey, it's me. Or the pod. It's like Seinfeld, it's me. Or, hello, it's me. Or the guys who think Lauren. And he just is standing in the doorway and he goes, thank you, Lauren. And shuts it on her. That'd be good.

[A]

I love that. Who named Peggy plays football?

[B]

Why would he.

[C]

Fair question.

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

Oh, God. I'm sorry, Luke. But be honest. This is all over for Luke.

[C]

Keep at it. Keep at it.

[B]

Yeah, Keep this updated. I want to know how it goes with not over and Rose or whatever her name is.

[A]

And I'm not ratting him out. He said he literally was like, read this on the show, so at least this is it. In vain. So I'm not. I'm not ratting that.

[B]

Do you think she'll think it's cool if he plays her this clip?

[A]

No, he's going to regret this being on the show.

[C]

That is. That's a Hail Mary, Craig, that one. That's like high, high variance. You can either. You could either, like, hit that Hail Mary or O. It's really over.

[B]

Yeah. Well, anyway, if they are listening, I heard Luke is hung like an absolute horse.

[A]

Hold on, wait. Actually, wait, hold on.

[B]

I got an email from Luke's ex girlfriend saying that it was the best in bed she's ever had.

[A]

Danny. Danny Kelly is a scouting reporter. Luke, it says. Burly, high cut, muscular build with a massive powerful lower half weapon.

[B]

Ridiculous get off.

[C]

Angular build. Yeah, you know the. You know the. The old night on Night of the Seven Kingdoms.

[A]

I've heard. I haven't started the show, but I've heard all about it.

[C]

Yeah, Yeah.

[B]

A remarkable scene. I'm remarking on it right now. To be remarked on.

[A]

Yes,

[B]

they based him off Luke.

[C]

I heard. That's what I heard too. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, that's what I. I got a couple emails from. From Luke's past lovers, complimenting him.

[C]

His parable.

[B]

He couldn't handle it. That's why it ended. Not nothing wrong with Luke.

[A]

Yeah, we've too many LinkedIn endorsements. We need.

[B]

We need actual verified a gentle and skilled lover.

[C]

I've heard.

[B]

That's just what they said. All right, Luke the messenger here it is.

[C]

A game of inches, in fact.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. And for Luke, it's a lot of inches.

[C]

This big, thick novel.

[A]

All right, thank you, dk. Thank you, Craig. Thank you, Luke. Sorry, but you're welcome now. Thank you, Cam. Thank you, Abu. Thank you, Austin. Thank you, Carlos. Thank you everyone for listening. We'll have more episodes this week and again, we're the NFL draft show now, so you probably know that, but just hit the follow subscribe button or wherever you're listening. You don't lose track of us. Follow us on Instagram, Ring of Fantasy Football. And yeah, love Episodes. Probably Wednesday night, Thursday. We'll see. It'll be a little fluid in Indianapolis. Thank you, Lord.

[C]

Lord. Thank you. 30 seconds to Mars.

[B]

Oh, interesting.

[C]

Never really.

[A]

They are a perfect example of a band where when I hear their name, I can't name the songs and when I hear the songs, I can't name the band, but I do know their songs.

[C]

Jared Leto.

[B]

Jared Leto, right.

[C]

That is the only thing about him,

[A]

and I know him too, but as an actor mostly.

[C]

Is he better as an actor or an artist or whatever? Band lead guy. What does he do in the band? He's singer.

[B]

I don't know. I mean, I. I guess he. I think he's been nominated for an

[C]

Oscar, so I think probably actor.

[B]

Oh, I think. Is this his brother? Shannon Leto?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Didn't know that.

[C]

So Jared Leto's lead vocals, guitar, and then I guess bass and keyboards also. What's their most popular music? What's there yeah.

[B]

30 seconds to Mars. Are they still playing?

[A]

I don't know what Jared Letter is ever up to. I never know what that guy.

[B]

I feel like every. Every five years a Tron movie comes out. I'm like, who asked for this?

[C]

Wait, he was in Blade Runner 2049 or whatever, wasn't he?

[B]

I haven't seen that movie, actually.

[A]

What? What movie?

[B]

The. The Blade Runner sequel.

[A]

2049.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It's one of those movies I haven't seen that I keep to myself because I know I should see it.

[C]

It's good.

[A]

I know. I know it's good. I've never heard anyone say it's bad, actually.

[C]

No one ever has.

[A]

That's an underrated. That's really how we should judge movies. I want to know things where everyone's like, it's good. Like, no one's ever like, it's fine.

[C]

Universal.

[B]

Are you talking about the original Blade Runner or the new one?

[A]

I didn't hear anyone. I don't know anyone who saw Blade Runner 2049 that did like it, I think.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

At least no one to my. That I talked to in real life said that. I'm sure people on the Internet did.

[B]

I don't really know. I feel like I haven't heard. I guess I agree with you. I don't know anybody who hates it, but I don't know anybody who's like, man, love 2049.

[C]

I do.

[B]

Do you?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, one of the three people in this conversation.

[B]

All right, There you go.

[C]

I would say, yeah, it's up there.

[B]

It's a good follow up. You think?

[C]

Yeah, definitely.

[A]

Wait, there's one thing I forgot. Jackie made me.

[C]

Director's last name.

[B]

Villeneuve or Villeneuve.

[C]

Denny Denis Villeneuve.

[A]

I can't believe he's doing the new Dune thing. That seems. Seems hard to film.

[B]

Dude. He's doing fucking James Bond after it.

[A]

That's good. They need a new guy.

[B]

Super sick. Yeah.

[A]

I promised Jackie.

[B]

Probably the most accomplished director to ever have Bond, to be honest.

[A]

Well, Bond. I have a lot of thoughts on James Bond.

[B]

Do you care about who it is you. Do you have opinions on who will be the next Bond?

[A]

I think they'll fix it. I think they'll figure it out. It just seems like. Honestly, they're like a. They're like an NFL team with the owners. Crazy. It's like. It seems like the family members running Bond are all kind of like.

[B]

Well, they don't know the new favorite.

[C]

Yeah. So favorite is Callum. What's his last name?

[B]

Turner.

[C]

Turner, right. Yeah.

[A]

Wait, they named Bond? Already did it.

[B]

No, no, no, no, no.

[C]

He's the new, like, sort of rumor.

[B]

There's rumors that it's Jacob Elordi or Callum Turner. Jacob Lord is too tall.

[C]

He's too tall.

[B]

He can't be Bond. He's too tall.

[C]

I mean, too tall.

[B]

Yeah, he's like six, six. He's like legitimately. He's like six, seven in dress shoes. That's too Tom Cruise.

[A]

Five, six. They made that work.

[B]

Not as James Bond.

[A]

Mission Impossible. Not like the closest thing.

[B]

Everyone. James Bond. Every time James Bond will be at like a fancy dinner. He'll just look like a giant cousin crack. Yeah, it's just too big.

[A]

A funny tall James Bond.

[B]

He's too tall.

[A]

He's like 6 foot 8. James Bond. You're like, I know you. Yeah, you don't. Wait, I promised I would ask this. Jackie wanted me to ask you guys if you've heard about Punch the monkey. No, it's this monkey. It's this baby macaque monkey.

[C]

Different from spanking the monkey.

[A]

Yes. That's also an 80s term that.

[B]

Is that mean. Is that a term meaning jerking off?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Like Tyrion Lannister says in Thrones, the. There's this monkey, it's like a child monkey that in an enclosure in Japan in this zoo. And it's being bullied by all the. It's. I think it's like an orphan monkey. And it's the not being fit in with the other monkeys. So it has a stuffed animal monkey. Like it's giant stuffed animal monkey that it takes with it everywhere. And all these other monkeys are bullying Punch the monkey. And he carries this little.

[B]

Is his name Punch?

[A]

The monkey's name is Punch.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

He does get punched a lot. But it is so popular that I think ikea, someone actually released a stuffed animal of Punch and the stuffed animal monkey.

[C]

It is.

[A]

He carries this stuffed animal everywhere and every time he gets punched or hit by one of the other monkeys, he runs and just like has his stuffed animal.

[C]

That sounds heartbreaking.

[B]

I'm looking at a photo of Bunch and his little.

[A]

But there's a little pal. They're starting to accept him, though. Like now he's starting to be part of the crew.

[C]

But I kind of hate them all already.

[A]

I'm pretty mad at the monkeys.

[C]

Them.

[B]

This is a good animal.

[C]

This is a very cute.

[A]

It's an incredible animated movie idea.

[B]

Speaking of, I'm excited to see the movie Hoppers, the new Pixar film.

[A]

Hopper's looks great.

[B]

Doesn't it?

[A]

It's them getting back to like, I remember when they made Soul and it's like, do you think kids will want to see this movie about a man who's not satisfied with his job? And it's like, no. I probably want kids who can talk to animals.

[B]

I know. I'm like, talking animals. I'm in. That's dude also do little. The Toy Story 5 trailer came out. That movie is going to make a kajillion dollars and be incredible.

[A]

If you think my mom didn't take all my mom text me about movie wise is just every Toy Story it.

[B]

I mean the whole thing. The whole conceit of the movie is that the kid gets an iPad named Lily Pad and then it's all the toys basically trying to prevent the kids from being obsessed with this iPad.

[A]

Perfection.

[B]

It's just. It's fantastic. Like, I have no notes.

[A]

So Toy Story doesn't. Wasn't. I know Rotten Tomatoes is like at this point, like reviled among people actually in the movie industry, but it for losers like me who just don't know anything.

[B]

It's like 100 for all their movies. Yeah.

[A]

Toy Story 3 was like one of the. Toy Story 3 was on the same level as the Godfather on Rotten Tomatoes.

[B]

Like, it was 100% again, which just means everyone who reviewed it gave it higher than a five out of ten, which is.

[A]

But that's accurate.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because Toy Story 3. God. Toy Story Forky is.

[B]

Toy Story 4 was forgettable. Like, I saw it. I already don't know what really happened.

[A]

I don't think was there. It's like a spoon. This is. This is per. This is going to be a good. This is.

[B]

Toy Story 3 is great. Yeah.

[A]

Toy Story 3 is. It's phenomenal. Is it the best third movie in its trilogy ever? Return of the King, Return of the Dude Returning. It is like Star Wars Return of the King and fucking Toy Story 3.

[B]

That's fun. Yeah. I mean, maybe Rocky 3. Which one?

[C]

Yeah. I don't know. I actually am not a huge.

[B]

Rocky 3 is good, but I don't think it's probably not in the level of. It's not Return of the King or Toy Story 3 or 4.

[C]

Definitely not Godfather Part 3.

[B]

Certainly not.

[A]

Dude. Transformers 3 tackle.

[C]

Dude.

[A]

We got to go to his podium. Is it. Is it obnoxious if we go to Don Corleone's podium and we ask him just about the Godfather?

[B]

I mean, I'm sure that's not going to be the first time.

[C]

This is hilarious. The first people think like all the people that called you Dan the man growing up. Haha. Great. Good one. Real original.

[B]

Anyway, this episode has been brought to you by Pixar.

[C]

It has not, to be clear.

[A]

No, it's not. That's a joke.

[B]

It has not. I'm organically excited to see hoppers and Toy Story 5.

[A]

Hoppers is going to be good. It's a good idea. Just looks good. Okay. Should we go together? I know it doesn't come out in time.

[B]

Comes out in a couple weeks, I think. Yeah.

[A]

Okay. All right. We'll give a Hopper review when we see it.

[B]

Anyway, hopefully Jared Leto's in it.

[C]

John Ham's in it.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

The Ham of Conda.

[A]

Goodbye, everyone.

[C]

This week, the PGA Tour's best players go Prime Time with TGL, presented by SoFi in doubleheader action. Atlanta Drive takes on both Boston Common Golf and Los Angeles golf club, plus two primetime matchups on Tuesday. Keep up it's golf. Tune in Monday and Tuesday at 5pm and 9pm Eastern only on ESPN, ESPN2 and the ESPN app.

[D]

Spring break isn't what it used to be.

[A]

It's better this spring.

[D]

Stay three nights and get a $50 Best Western gift card.

[A]

Life's a trip.

[D]

Make the most of it at best Western. Visit bestwestern.com for complete terms and conditions.