NFL Draft Day 2: Nightmare WR Landing Spots, Steelers and Cardinals Take QBs, A Sean McVay Update, and RFK Jr.'s Awake Apnea

Summary

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The Ringer NFL Draft Show – April 25, 2026

Episode: NFL Draft Day 2: Nightmare WR Landing Spots, Steelers and Cardinals Take QBs, A Sean McVay Update, and RFK Jr's Awake Apnea
Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, Craig Horlbeck
Theme: A loopy, exhaustive breakdown of the second and third rounds of the 2026 NFL Draft, centering on confusing skill position landing spots, unexpected quarterback picks, Sean McVay’s mind games, and the year's weirdest NFL narratives—plus a heavy dose of humor and inside banter.

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Episode Overview

The trio reunites in person after Day 2 of the NFL Draft, fresh off Red Bull and high jinks, for their annual late-night, slightly delirious marathon recap. The episode focuses on questionable wide receiver landing spots (a "fantasy bloodbath"), the Steelers and Cardinals surprising with their QB picks, ongoing confusion about Sean McVay’s feelings on Ty Simpson, and plenty of tangents—including a viral moment featuring RFK Jr.’s unintentional “awake apnea.”
Tone: Fast, irreverent, opinionated, and heavily comedic.

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Key Discussion Points and Segments

Sean McVay and the “Ty Simpson Mind Games”

[02:45 – 06:38]

• The hosts revisit the drama after the Rams drafted QB Ty Simpson.
• Conflicting reports swirl: Was Sean McVay truly fuming, or was he gaming the media and his own QB, Matt Stafford?
• Theories abound:
  • “Sean McVay actually wanted Ty Simpson the whole time…[but] then called Matt Stafford, who was pissed.” (Heifetz, 03:15)
  • Maybe McVay merely performed anger for Stafford, or the press is lost in a game of misdirection: “He had two speeds…There was no nuance in that performance.” (Craig, 05:10)
• Ultimately, the Occam's Razor: McVay picked his QB. “What’s the point of having Sean McVay if you draft a quarterback he doesn’t want?” (Heifetz, 05:28)
• Vibes summary: “We’re just enough to propaganda. Useful fools.” (Heifetz, 05:39)

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Day 2 and 3 Draft Madness: “Fantasy Bloodbath”

[06:38 – 15:00]

• Depth of the draft class is questioned; skill players land in “nightmare” spots:
  • “Fantasy bloodbath. Honestly, just the fantasy skill players. It was not a great draft. And now it’s getting worse.” (Heifetz, 02:27)
  • “It’s been horrifying from a dynasty fantasy point of view…” (High Fitz, 07:02)
• A quick, scathing rundown:
  • Most rookie QBs (Mendoza, Simpson, Beck, Aller) probably won’t play.
  • Highly touted receivers—like Denzel Boston—land as WR3s on bad offenses (e.g., Browns).
  • The Browns become a meme for swallowing up fantasy hopes: “They’re the team you foist players to.” (Craig, 13:33)
• Detailed RB talk:
  • Seattle’s Jadarian Price's usage and fumble woes (Price “fumbled like five times on…barely any touches. And three of them were at the goal line.” – Heifetz, 09:15).
  • 49ers once again spend valuable draft capital on obscure RBs who’ll likely disappear into depth chart purgatory.
• The only semi-bright spot: Jordan Tyson to the up-tempo Saints may have fantasy upside.

Quote:

“It’s like, every one of these guys is either on a horrible team or like the third option on the offense that he’s joining. It’s brutal.” (Craig, 07:33)

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Notable “Reach” Picks & Team Strategies

[15:00 – 19:59]

• Extended dunk on the 49ers’ tendency for skill position “reaches” on Day 2, namely WR Deshaun Stribling (taken 33rd, ranked 83rd on DK’s board):
  • “[The Niners] haven’t hit a mid-round pick since Deebo.” (Heifetz, 18:39)
  • “It’s…just the hubris of Kyle again. Kyle Shanahan…” (Heifetz, 16:50)
• Miami’s wild card picks: Dolphins taking WR Caleb Douglas (31st on Dane Brugler’s board, #75 overall).
• Emphasis on this class’s “flat” talent, making for unpredictable boards and wild picks.

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Tight End Draft Chaos & The “Awake Apnea” Moment

[20:00 – 26:00]

• 2026 sets a record for most TEs drafted on Day 1 and 2—many wildly unexpected, especially 25-year-old Nate Borkercher for the Jags (“38 catches in six seasons”).
• General manager youth versus player age: comedic digression about the "youngest-looking" GMs and NFL’s obsession with reinventing the wheel.
• Signature tangent: The RFK Jr. “awake apnea” viral moment, played and dissected:
  • “He snores when he’s awake.” (Craig, 43:27)
  • “He needs a CPAP machine during the day, dude.” (Heifetz, 47:09)
• Hilarity over the possible hell of editing such a podcast.

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Steelers: QB Drew Aller, “Germ” Bernard, and Hay Bales

[26:51 – 41:40]

• Steelers’ selection of QB Drew Aller is met with lukewarm optimism, intense scrutiny on his college performance and “prototype” traits:
  • “Most people I talk to…are like Drew Aller’s like actually terrible.”
• WR Jeremy (“The Germ”) Bernard: argument over pronunciation, likened to a “Debo Light.” The group marvels at his multidimensional skillset.
• Offensive line talk: Introducing standout Jennings Dunker, whose feats of hay bale tossing at the “Solon Beef Days” festival and legendary pregame meals become instant Ringer lore:
  • “Three servings of pasta, bread, a steak, three hamburgers…this guy’s gonna love Primanti Brothers.” (Craig & Heifetz)
• Steelers’ youth movement: youngest offense in the league if Rodgers retires, discussion of rookie contracts, and running joke about only dating Leo DiCaprio.

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More Landing Spot Analysis & Falcons, Texans, Eagles

[56:09 – 55:57]

• Browns, Cardinals, Jets noted for now being “built around a QB they don’t have yet.”
• Praise for the Falcons’ touching “family” pick (Avion Terrell reuniting with brother), and fit of Zachariah Branch in Atlanta’s scheme (“He’d win tag”—High Fitz).
• Texans “win now” arc with DT Caden McDonald; C.J. Stroud pegged as one of the single most important players in the NFL for 2026 (“His brain was just soup for the playoffs.” – Heifetz, 49:32).
• The Eagles trade for Jonathan Greenard and select athletic marvel Eli Stowers (TE), whose 45.5” vertical leap exceeds LeBron and Vince Carter.
• Frustration with NFL teams getting “too cute” and trying to outsmart the consensus.

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Funny Awards, Life Tangents, and Listener Interactivity

[60:43 – 64:41]

• Center Logan Jones earns a “lifetime supply of ketchup” for being picked 57th, sparking discussion on what the most useful “lifetime supply” would be (consensus: socks).
• Riffing on draft prize wheels, bacon collars, and Michael Jordan’s questionable Hanes commercial facial hair.
• Debate on white socks, dress code etiquette, and “sock anxiety” blitzing through the group.

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Age-Gap Draft Picks and College Football Weirdness

[69:40 – 75:52]

• Hysterics over mid-round prospects as old as 25, with seventh-year seniors and players who transferred four times.
• Philosophy: are teams finally cool drafting “old” players because they’re plug-and-play ready? Concern: sacrificing ceiling/upside for “floor.”
• “It’s crazy. I’m not going to lie. I hate these guys. I hate them. Like if it’s Keonte Scott, I like because at least he’s cool.” (Heifetz, 73:31)

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Listener Emails & Closing Insanity

[77:01 – end]

• Callouts and thanks to audience contributions: naming neighborhoods (“Glansburg Gardens”), event crowd control (cell tower tech), and the true story behind gigantic concert attendances (Rod Stewart in Rio = “a Norway”).
• Hiccups “science,” cousin hearsay, and the all-important “punched in the perineum” rumor.
• Outtro includes endless riffing, dead-silence avoiding, and recurring bits.

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Notable Quotes

• “I feel like his brain was just soup for the playoffs.” (Danny Heifetz on C.J. Stroud, 49:32)
• “He snores when he’s awake.” (Craig, RFK Jr. discussion, 43:27)
• “The team you foist players to.” (Craig, about the Browns, 13:33)
• “If you didn’t start for the first five seasons of college, who needs six years of college football to start and be a second-round pick?” (Heifetz, 24:15)
• “Draft day: Where every new Steeler gets a hay bale and an undisclosed amount of ketchup.” (Paraphrasing group consensus)

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Timestamps by Topic

| Segment | Start | Highlights | |-------------------------------------|---------|-------------------| | Sean McVay Ty Simpson drama | 02:45 | 06:38 | | Day 2 WR/RB landing spot carnage | 06:38 | 15:00 | | 49ers/Niners Reach Mania | 15:00 | 19:59 | | TE Draft Chaos, GM Age Tangent | 20:00 | 26:00 | | Steelers catchup: Aller, Bernard | 26:51 | 41:40 | | More landing spots, Falcons, Texans, Eagles | 56:09 | 55:57 | | Logan Jones Lifetime Ketchup/Sock Talk | 60:43 | 64:41 | | Ancient Draftees & NCAA Absurdity | 69:40 | 75:52 | | Listener emails / sign-off rampage | 77:01 | End |

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Memorable Moments

• RFK Jr. “awake apnea” meme:
  • The show’s highlight—a sound clip of RFK Jr. wheezing through a congressional hearing—sets off a cascade of jokes about podcast production hell.
• Jennings Dunker’s diet:
  • A real lineman’s day: pasta, steak, burgers, and…hot chocolate.
• “Lifetime supply of ketchup”
  • A center’s draft prize turns into an extended bit on which household item truly merits infinite replenishment.
• Name pronunciation debate:
  • Heated, pointless, silly—and very on-brand. “Jeremy” is repeatedly dissected down to the syllable.
• Perineum punch rumor:
  • Childhood legend status is cemented; “my cousin’s brother heard a rumor…”

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Final Thoughts

This episode is classic Ringer chaos: A sharp, ridiculous, detail-packed, and sometimes completely unhinged draft recap. You'll get all the key WR/RB landing spot analysis, the Steelers/Aller debate, and noteworthy team-building trends, plus enough running inside jokes to sustain you through a lackluster fantasy football draft. Stick around for inspired dead-end tangents, trivia about ketchup hoarders, and the anatomy of NFL podcasting in the year 2026.

Transcript

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[High Fitz]

I sold my car in Carvana last night.

[Craig]

Well, that's cool.

[High Fitz]

No, you don't understand. It went perfectly. Real offer down to the penny. They're picking it up tomorrow. Nothing went wrong. So what's the problem? That is the problem. Nothing in my life goes as smoothly. I'm waiting for the catch.

[Craig]

Maybe there's no catch.

[High Fitz]

That's exactly what a catch would want me to think. Wow. You need to relax. I need to knock on wood. Do we have. What is this?

[Danny Heiferson]

Table wood?

[Craig]

I think it's laminate.

[High Fitz]

Okay. Yeah, that's good. That's close enough. Car selling without a catch Sell your

[Craig]

car today on Carvana. Pick up fees May apply.

[High Fitz]

Foreign.

[Danny Heiferson]

Welcome to the Ringer NFL draft show. My name is Danny Heiferson. I'm joined by Danny Kelly and our insider here, Craig Orlebeck. Day 2 of the NFL draft is complete. In person.

[Craig]

We're live.

[Danny Heiferson]

No, we're not. Round two and three is complete. We're alive together. Round two and three is complete. We are going to also have a complete draft recap. We're going to have all these episodes next week and then all summer. So stick with us. We are going to go through Friday night. This is probably the loopiest will be I just Shotgun to Red Bull. Yeah, put it on Instagram. Go look at Instagram. Craig's horror at me drinking Red Bull has made me want to drink more. So I don't know if I'm going to lose mental stamina throughout this.

[Craig]

He only had one, so we'll see.

[Danny Heiferson]

It'll burn out all at once. We're going to get to everything with round two and three. Carson Beck went to the Cardinals. Drew Aller. Your boy went to the Steelers. Steelers are kind of crushing it. Texans are crushing it. Kind of all these teams that did poorly. Fantasy bloodbath. Honestly, just the fantasy skill players. It was not a great draft. And now it's getting worse.

[Craig]

No, no, no.

[Danny Heiferson]

But I want to start with the thing we started with last night, which is that the Rams took Ty Simpson and we were like, that's interesting that Sean McVay wants Ty Simpson. And then it was like, well, Sean McVay is actually pissed that the Rams took Ty Simpson to. Because he was so visibly angry last night and the Thursday during the press conference.

[Craig]

It's just fascinating.

[Danny Heiferson]

And then we find out during the day today that potentially we were all completely bamboozled. And that in theory, what we're hearing from multiple different angles, that actually Sean McVay was not incredibly pissed that the Rams took Ty Simpson. He's playing 40 chess. That Sean McVay actually wanted Ty Simpson the whole time. And that Sean McVay then called Matt Stafford, who was pissed.

[High Fitz]

As he should be.

[Danny Heiferson]

As he should be.

[High Fitz]

Because one mvp, the super bowl should

[Danny Heiferson]

have won the super bowl, whatever. And that Stafford was so angry and took it so poorly. And that McVeigh kind of actually pushed the Ms. Ty Simpson pick on the whole building. Yes, that then Sean McVeigh went into the press conference and was like, I kind of have to play it. Like I'm not that excited about Ty Simpson.

[High Fitz]

Starts talking about friggin Stetson, Ben, Matt

[Craig]

Stafford to make him feel better and

[Danny Heiferson]

then did too good of a job. And we're all like, wow, this guy hates Ty Simpson. And then Sean McVay was like, Ooh, kind of went too far in the other direction. And so two things could be happening. One, everything I just said or bullshit, complete and utter horseshit.

[High Fitz]

Right.

[Danny Heiferson]

And it's. He probably just didn't want the guy. And I don't know what to believe anymore.

[Craig]

Entire thing concocted because McVay was clearly so pissed in the pressure that they made up this.

[High Fitz]

Please don't put it in the newspaper that I'm mad.

[Danny Heiferson]

Yes, put it in the newspaper that actually I thought of it the whole time.

[Craig]

Or as we were saying yesterday, it would be very odd if Les need made a pick that Sean McVay did not want at all. And now the new reports that came out today are suggesting that perh. The two of them were on the same page and that McVeigh really wanted Tyson.

[Danny Heiferson]

You could argue that that is the simplest answer is yeah, that McVeigh's running the building. McVeigh wanted Ty Simpson. But Matt Stafford fucking screamed at him. And so he was actually just upset that he got screamed at because he probably hasn't been screamed at for that long in a minute.

[High Fitz]

Right.

[Danny Heiferson]

And then he was like extremely clear on the mic.

[Craig]

No, no. He will be competing. We'll see with Stetson Bennett. We'll see if he's even the number two.

[Danny Heiferson]

We don't even want him. Yeah, fuck this guy that we just drafted. I don't know what to believe anymore. I'm going to be totally honest. I could be. Part of me just thinks we're getting just absolutely the runaround of just the idea.

[Craig]

Taken for a ride.

[Danny Heiferson]

Get taken for a ride. But I don't know. It also makes sense of an actor. I don't know.

[High Fitz]

That's what. That's my question.

[Danny Heiferson]

Well, he did a bad job. It was so over the top that everyone was like, this is weird.

[Craig]

He had two speeds. Like happy or pissed. He had. There was no nuance in that performance. I mean, he looks so upset, right? I think if I had to bet, I would be more surprised if les need and McVeigh were on different pages with the 13th pick in the draft.

[Danny Heiferson]

It doesn't make sense. That's why we talked about.

[High Fitz]

I know.

[Craig]

There's just no way.

[Danny Heiferson]

What's the point of having Sean McVay if you draft a quarterback he doesn't want? Like, it does make sense. I'm also a little worried, but we're being given the run around. But take it for a ride.

[High Fitz]

We're just like enough to propaganda.

[Danny Heiferson]

Yeah. What's the Russian? Yeah. Useful, useful fools. I don't know. So you guys can make up your own mind. But it does make sense that Sean McVeigh wanted the quarterback they took in the first round. That probably is Occam's razor anyway. That's weird. So with that said, let's get to rounds two and three.

[Craig]

That's like a very bizarre story, right? Have you ever either version of that

[High Fitz]

forming another version of that is insane.

[Danny Heiferson]

They do, right? So true.

[Craig]

Him pretending to be upset about something that he did because his quarterback is mad at him is just really high school of the Rams, right?

[Danny Heiferson]

Dude. What. What did the ribs the joke less need in the Kevin Dim off the president and they always make is that we stole his. We stole his youth.

[High Fitz]

Oh, McVeigh.

[Danny Heiferson]

Sean McVeigh. They're like if you made him a coach at 30 years old, they're like, yeah, we just robbed him of a normal life. Like you had no. Like. Yeah, well, every now and then, who knows? Weird.

[High Fitz]

That's like basically the takeaway. Weird.

[Craig]

Weird. Very weird.

[Danny Heiferson]

That's just weird. Okay, with that said, let's get to rounds two and three. This was not a great draft overall coming in. I think the perception was it was, you know, not that deep. Nil Covid era, people understand. But with that said, there was like a deep receiver class, but it wasn't special. But dk, I feel like the landing spots for these players, both in real life and in fantasy, not the best, has actually made everything worse.

[High Fitz]

It's been horrifying from like a dynasty fantasy point of view or even just redraft next year. Some of the landing spots that we've seen so far are really just awful.

[Danny Heiferson]

I mean, the Browns, the Browns alone got Casey Concepcion in round one, is one of the coolest players in the draft. And then Craig's beloved Denzel Boston, who all you wanted all day was the Steelers to get Denzel Boston. And then the Browns took him too.

[Craig]

And at the very least, like, I wanted the Raiders to get Denzel, just, I wanted him to land somewhere interesting. He's now the number two on the Browns at best. At best.

[High Fitz]

Right.

[Craig]

It's really tough. I mean, all the outside of Carnell Tate, who's like going to be the number one, every one of these guys is either on a horrible team or like the third option on the offense that he's joining. I mean, it's, it's, it's brutal. Even Jeremiah Love going to the Cardinals, like, nothing is good.

[High Fitz]

Yeah. So can we just roll through a couple of these names? I'll try to be quick. But basically, Fernando Mendoza, Ty Simpson, both might not play this year. Yep.

[Danny Heiferson]

Okay, put it like that. The first two quarterbacks, that hasn't happened in decades.

[High Fitz]

Like it maybe in the Raiders best case scenario, he's like week eight or something like that.

[Danny Heiferson]

Dude, that was probably 2004. Eli Manning and Phil Rivers was probably the last time that the first two quarters.

[Craig]

But you're right. You have Mendoza Simp, probably won't play this year. And then you have Beck and Aller who, like, you don't want to play.

[High Fitz]

No, they're. The point is they're not, hopefully not going to play.

[Danny Heiferson]

None of the rookies will play.

[High Fitz]

And then as you said, Jeremiah Love with the Cardinals, he lands on a team, doesn't have a quarterback, doesn't have an established quarterback at least. Maybe Berset is trying to get a new contract. We don't know exactly what's going on.

[Danny Heiferson]

And the Cardinals Took Tyler lgier and he's going to snipe Jeremiah Love the same way he kept sniping Bijan Robinson and we're all going to be furious.

[High Fitz]

Freaking. Yeah. Then you get Jadarian Price for the Seahawks, which I think he actually is probably one of the winners in fantasy if Zach Charbonnet takes a while to come back. But we saw what the Seahawks did with Kenneth Walker. Very heavy times split. They. They believe in giving two guys the football. Whatever he might have, he have his upside cap for sure.

[Danny Heiferson]

Well, Price is also. I might be getting this wrong. The one of the. Maybe the only first round running back ever taken that didn't have 130 touches in any single season.

[High Fitz]

He hasn't. He has not proven that he can do heavy volume. He has not proven, even though I think there's flashes that he's good in the passing game, he's not proven that he's not a good pass protector. So that could keep him off the field early on in his career on third downs.

[Danny Heiferson]

It's not just that. And I actually Jadarian Price could be a better receiver than people think because he didn't catch 15 passes in all of college.

[Craig]

Right.

[Danny Heiferson]

And which is not good. But I'm like, yeah, well they had Jeremiah Love. He's a really good receiver. The problem with Jadarian Price, he also fumbled like five times on like barely any touches. And three of them were at the goal line.

[High Fitz]

Three of them.

[Danny Heiferson]

So it's like red zone. Not a receiver or a goal line back. And this is the number two running back taken.

[High Fitz]

Yeah. And then the only other running back that was taken in the first three rounds was Kaylin Black. Non combine invite. This is the Indiana running back. He's almost 25 years old and he goes to the 49ers. Guess what?

[Danny Heiferson]

49ers have like waistline.

[High Fitz]

They draft a third round running back every year and we barely ever see these guys. I don't know what's going to happen with this guy.

[Danny Heiferson]

They're like Hollywood assistants. The Niners running backup running back.

[Craig]

I feel like their backup running backs are off the team in two years.

[High Fitz]

Usually you get like Tyrion Davis Price, Jordan.

[Danny Heiferson]

Jordan James got drafted by the Niners and it literally took the. The Seahawks had to go up 30 again in the playoffs for Jordan James to see the field this season. So yeah, anyway, not great.

[High Fitz]

And then just going into the receivers. Cardinal Tate lands with the Titans. Yeah, solid, solid. But you're still having developmental quarterback. We don't know what the to make of this offense. Who knows? Jordan Tyson. I think Jordan Tyson maybe is the best landing spot of any fantasy player in this whole draft. I think because they're going to play an up tempo offense, run out of plays, they're going to pass a lot. He's going to have a chance to be the 1B to Chris Olave. They don't have a ton of other guys in that offense right now. Jordan Tyson is the biggest winner I think in fantasy.

[Danny Heiferson]

Derek Classen, who does great stuff with Maze at the Athletic called the Saints offense the glass cannon because it's Tyler Shuck, Chris Olave, Jordan Tyson and Travis

[Craig]

hold your breath for the entire season.

[Danny Heiferson]

Every time anyone falls to the ground you're like get up.

[High Fitz]

And we got. We got Mai Lemon for the Eagles. They don't pass the middle of field. That's where he operates. They also drafted Eli Stower as the tight end which really interesting player but again he's his sort of area of operation is in the middle of field. This maybe this is the Eagle saying we want to operate in that area of the field.

[Craig]

Planning for a post.

[High Fitz]

Jalen hurts offense maybe so that. So I don't know what to make of those two picks. Casey Concepcion and Denzel Boston, as we said, went to the Browns.

[Danny Heiferson]

Dude, I. It's actually no quarterback there.

[High Fitz]

Terrible. What if. Can I pivot a little bit? Does. Am I back in on Desean Watson for 2025?

[Danny Heiferson]

You tell us.

[High Fitz]

We got Casey Concepcion, Denzel Boston or both.

[Craig]

On the field.

[Danny Heiferson]

On the field.

[High Fitz]

Sorry. And then Harold Fannin from last year. He looked really interesting. Jerry Judy, we got Cedric Tillman.

[Danny Heiferson]

If it wasn't the Cleveland Brown, Dylan Samp. If the Rams offense had everyone. You just said where it's like Casey Concepcion, Dental Boss and Jared Judy, Harold Fannin and Dylan Sampson and Quinshaw Judkins. We'd be like, well, the Rams are going to win the Super Bowl.

[Craig]

In general. I think the Browns had a great draft.

[High Fitz]

Yes.

[Craig]

One of the best of the first two days. And I think what you're talking about with the Browns is interesting because I think the three worst teams in the league or three of the bottom maybe five teams in the league, the jets, the Browns and the Cardinals all kind of have the same situation right now. Whether they are building around a quarterback that they don't have yet.

[High Fitz]

Yeah, yeah.

[Craig]

We just talked about the Browns. The Cardinals now have Jeremiah Love, Trey McBride, Marvin Harrison Jr. Michael Wilson. The jets have Garrett Wilson, Breeze Hall. They took Kenyon Siddiq like they are building all these things around not having Omar Cooper and now all these teams are going to have an opportunity next year to like slot a quarterback into a situation that like maybe won't be that bad.

[High Fitz]

Yeah. So I think. Yeah, that's a good point. And the complaining that we're doing right now might change if these teams get quarterbacks and we start to see these offenses really take off. But right now I'm like for next year, who knows what to make of any of these. And you mentioned Omar Cooper. Yeah, go ahead.

[Danny Heiferson]

Well, which is we have seen that is it is a good strategy to build a successful environment for quarterback and then get a quarterback. Like, it's just frankly, how much good can the jets or Browns do until we acknowledge that that's going to work? And like it's just like this. The Browns in particular.

[Craig]

I. I guess my argument though was like, so who were the. Were the rounds supposed to take? Like were they supposed to take ty Simpson at 6?

[Danny Heiferson]

Someone that wouldn't ruin my life.

[Craig]

What do you mean?

[Danny Heiferson]

Well, I just hate that it's not

[High Fitz]

one of the cool players.

[Danny Heiferson]

Yeah, don't. Why don't you take chase besides and have a guard? Yeah, take a fucking guard. Don't ruin my life.

[High Fitz]

Corner.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[High Fitz]

We don't ever have to think about you again.

[Craig]

You know, I mean going tackle and then. And then Casey Concepcion and Denzel Boston.

[Danny Heiferson]

But the Browns should have more Jerry Judy's though. People that I don't want to think about like Jalen Waddle should have gone to Cleveland. I don't want to think about it

[High Fitz]

by taking Jerry Judy. We don't think about you now.

[Craig]

They're the team you foist players to.

[Danny Heiferson]

Yeah, we foist them upon. Yes. Who else? Who's the all fo Like Waddle?

[Craig]

I would have loved to have fo onto the Browns.

[Danny Heiferson]

Who's the all foist Waddle? Jerry Judy, first team. All fo.

[Craig]

Who do we just like not want to deal with? Put them on the Browns.

[Danny Heiferson]

Wait, I'm pulling this up.

[High Fitz]

It's a good question.

[Danny Heiferson]

Should this be an episode or should we do Ready? It should have been like flash, flash pick all voice team. Hurts. Jalen hurts.

[High Fitz]

Come on.

[Danny Heiferson]

All right, fine. Well, honestly to Sean Watson is the all voiced. Judy Waddle.

[Craig]

They have to be kind of bad.

[High Fitz]

Judy and Watson already there. Cool.

[Danny Heiferson]

Yeah. Watson actually is the voice only Browns.

[Craig]

It's got to be like guys who already aren't are like pretty unpredictable.

[Danny Heiferson]

Dalton Kincaid. Yeah, sure. He should be on the Brown.

[Craig]

Marvin Harrison Jr. Should be on the.

[Danny Heiferson]

Marvin Harrison, Jun. How, like, people don't think about it anymore.

[Craig]

Kyle Pitt should be on the Browns.

[Danny Heiferson]

Kyle Pitt, Matt Collins. Yeah, no, it's too cold for him. He needs shoes.

[Craig]

Andre Stevenson.

[High Fitz]

Oh, I like Stevenson.

[Craig]

Yeah, but, like, you don't want to deal with that.

[Danny Heiferson]

Yeah.

[Craig]

Every week it's a mess.

[Danny Heiferson]

All right, well, the Browns disaster.

[Craig]

Do I start him or do I not? Well, if you're not the Browns, I won't.

[High Fitz]

Yeah.

[Danny Heiferson]

All right. So, yeah, the fantasy situation is interesting, and there's a lot of other picks.

[Craig]

Worthy Browns.

[Danny Heiferson]

Oh, yeah. That's exactly what we're talking about.

[High Fitz]

That's smart.

[Danny Heiferson]

That's exactly it. There's a lot of other situations, what I hit, but I do want to start the quarterback.

[Craig]

Do you want to keep going down?

[High Fitz]

Do you Let me do a few more and then we can get through this, basically. And then Omar Cooper, as you mentioned, with the jets, another guy that we liked now he lands with the jets. And. And the jets almost have too many guys now. So it's like complicating for fantasy.

[Craig]

The Jets.

[Danny Heiferson]

I. Gino Smith is a more competent quarterback even after last season, than I think. Than the Browns.

[High Fitz]

I think so, too. But based on what he did last year, that's. That's. That's a risk.

[Danny Heiferson]

What, the worst record in the NFL.

[High Fitz]

Yeah. Oh, Dejan Stribling, 49ers, which we'll get to that pick, I think.

[Danny Heiferson]

Let's just do it now.

[High Fitz]

Yeah. Very surprising. Shocking. Pick 34 pick of the second round pick.

[Craig]

Yes.

[Danny Heiferson]

They had 18 hours to trade out

[High Fitz]

of that slot that they wanted to trade out of, that they could have

[Craig]

gotten him around later.

[High Fitz]

According to. Well, according to the consensus draft boards that we've seen, this was one of the biggest reaches of any team, especially early.

[Danny Heiferson]

Where did you have Deshaun Stribling again? Receiver out of Ole Miss.

[High Fitz]

Let me see.

[Danny Heiferson]

And the niners took him 33rd.

[High Fitz]

Yeah, he was my 80.

[Danny Heiferson]

It's not good.

[High Fitz]

He was my 83rd player. Honestly, like, I like. I like him. I think this is just one of those things where not at 33.

[Danny Heiferson]

If Stribling was the first pick of the third round, it'd be like, great pick, right? It's just weird that of all the picks in the entire draft that you reach for a player, the weirdest one is the first pick of the second round because you literally have. Yeah, you have the entire day. So you have, like, 18 hours to trade back the pick. And then all these other teams, like, basically everyone in that, like, next 10, like the next 10 picks have all day to be like, oh my God, this guy fell to the out of the first round. We want him. And like all of Those, the next 12 teams give you a call and it's the most. And just the idea that you would then take a reach. It's like you, the Niners very easily could have picked up a fourth round pick probably pretty effortlessly and still got

[Craig]

five spots and get him in.

[Danny Heiferson]

And it's like, it's just. I don't know, I just think that's the hubris of Kyle again. Kyle Shanahan, like the hubris I think all the time about his answer about taking Jake Moody the kicker. And they were like, why did you draft a kicker in the third round? And again, all the data of all the analytics and data, the most definitive one is you should never draft a kicker in any round because they almost never work for you. Even if they have an end of full career in the seventh round, they usually end up on their second, third or fourth team. The kicker's good. The Niners took a kicker in the third round, the 99th pick or something. And Kyle Shannon was like, it was the only spot we could get a starter. Anyone else we took in the third round was not going to start for us.

[Craig]

Dude, get the starter.

[Danny Heiferson]

It's the dumbest fucking thing ever.

[High Fitz]

Get the fucking injury problem.

[Danny Heiferson]

And then guess yo.

[High Fitz]

Yes, get some depth players.

[Danny Heiferson]

And it's like we blame the substation. It's like maybe they have no fucking depth on the team because he wants to draft a kicker instead of a backup edge rusher. And like. But this is how it goes. And I think stribling's an extension of that where there's just this weird hubris of like, well, why would I need to trade back and get a fourth round? I won't even start for me. Like, that's. I'm sorry, that's stupid. Skip to stick to calling plays.

[High Fitz]

Do Ryan Heath put this list together. Here's the list of the 49ers. Day two. So third, second and third round skill players that the 49ers have drafted. And that also includes. This is Shanahan and Lynch, basically. And this is in the Shanahan era,

[Danny Heiferson]

John lynch, the GM in the 90s.

[High Fitz]

So this year it was Kaylin Black, running back, three on in this class, which was a surprise to everyone. No one thought that he wasn't even a combine invite. I don't think anyone had him probably in the first four or five rounds. So they took him in the third, they took Dijon Stribling. In the second, Going back past that, here's some other names and you probably don't recognize most of these. Cameron Latu, tight end Tyrion Davis. Price, running back, wide receiver Danny Gray, running back Trey Sermon, wide receiver Jalen Hurd, wide receiver Dante Pettis. And then wide receiver Debo Samuel. Samuel, awesome pick. But the rest of those, I don't think any of those guys are even,

[Danny Heiferson]

they haven't hit a mid round pick since Debo. Yeah.

[High Fitz]

So their skill, player picks, the, the skill, the history is not good.

[Danny Heiferson]

Yeah.

[High Fitz]

And these are what everyone sort of like is perceived as massive reaches for both of these players. So I don't know. That was, that was a fascinating couple of picks.

[Danny Heiferson]

But honestly, maybe the most fascinating though is the Miami Dolphins. Shortly afterward, the Dolphins took. Sorry, I have to look it up.

[Craig]

Caleb Douglas.

[Danny Heiferson]

Caleb Douglas, who had the incredible distinction. Matt hart, he was 31st on Dane Brugler's list of wide receivers. Dane Brugler ranked like a thousand players love Dane. He's a great guy. Psychotic, absolute psycho. And Dane, literally nobody does more work on the draft in the media than Dane. Dane Brugler ranked. How many running backs did he rank?

[High Fitz]

209 or something.

[Danny Heiferson]

There's 260 players in the entire draft. He ranked 200 running backs. Like Dane's a psychopath. But he ranked complimentary. Yeah, yeah, it's all complimentary. Yeah, sorry. If Dan's listening, It's very complimentary. No one, he ranked 40 fucking kickers. He wrote about Sullivan Moon who went to a college I've never even heard of. But he ranked Caleb Douglas the 31st ranked wide receiver and the Dolphins took him in the second round.

[High Fitz]

Was it the second or third round?

[Danny Heiferson]

Was it the third?

[High Fitz]

I think it might have been the third round, but let's double check that.

[Danny Heiferson]

70. Yeah, right. 75. The 31st ranked receiver went 75th overall. And then I, I, I don't know what teams are doing, man.

[High Fitz]

It, this is, I, I thought, I think coming into this draft this was something that people were saying was going to happen, that you're going to see some wild picks that nobody kind of saw coming.

[Craig]

It's because it was, because it's such a flat. After you get out of like the first 15, 20 picks, like it is pretty much even.

[High Fitz]

Yeah.

[Craig]

For the next few rounds. So that's why people can, their boards can be completely different.

[High Fitz]

Totally.

[Danny Heiferson]

But the Dolphins then took Chris Bell like 20 picks later and it's like if the Dolphins had just taken Chris Bell and then Caleb Douglas. We wouldn't have said anything because Chris Bill's the receiver to Louisville were like oh that's a gay J. Brown all over again.

[High Fitz]

Right.

[Danny Heiferson]

Jeff's weird.

[High Fitz]

Yeah. There was a handful of those types of picks where you're just like man what the hell. There was a. There was nine tight ends taken on day one and two.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[High Fitz]

Which is the most we've ever seen in the modern era.

[Danny Heiferson]

But, but beyond just the 9:10s we have to talk about the third tight end taken because it was Kenyan sneak in the first round at Oregon. That was normal. Yeah. And then the second one was Eli Stowers the very athletic tight end at a Vanderbilt to the Eagles. That was normal. The third tight end off the board we all were like what on earth is happening? Is Nate Borkucher who is a 25 year old tight end at a Texas

[High Fitz]

A and M. He's a sixth year player.

[Danny Heiferson]

How many catches did he have in his six years?

[High Fitz]

Catches? I think in six years.

[Danny Heiferson]

38 catches in six seasons he ran a four eight.

[Craig]

What's our guy? Doogie Howser. What's he up to?

[Danny Heiferson]

Dude, the Jaguars GM is 35 years old going on 22.

[Craig]

Traded away his first for Travis Hunter in year one and now he just took Nate Borkercher.

[Danny Heiferson]

A reminder that when. Borkature. Borkature. It sounds like borscht dude. Just a reminder that when we were at the combine last year and James again his name is James Gladstone. He worked for the Rams. Jimmy. Jimmy Stones. Doogie Howser. He walked up and so they have these podiums and like you know a lot of times like the PR people have to go and like kind of fuck mic test and everything. And so I'm waiting for this Jags GM and I'm kind of like, just like I want to see what it looks like. And so the PR person kind of comes up and adjusts the microphone and just starts talking for like. And I'm like that's weird to talk a mic test in full sentences. And then I realized that that was the Jaguars GM and I genuinely in my heart of hearts thought it was a 22 year old PR intern for the Jacksonville Jaguars.

[Craig]

29 year old.

[Danny Heiferson]

He looks, he is the. He looks like Ben solak when he's 35 will look like this guy.

[Craig]

Yeah. Anyway, he actually does look. He looks way younger than his age. I mean he's 35.

[Danny Heiferson]

Wait, we were talking.

[Craig]

He looks 28.

[Danny Heiferson]

Wait, can you compare him at 35 to Bill Murray when he was 33.

[Craig]

Oh, my God.

[Danny Heiferson]

Yeah.

[Craig]

If you watch Ghostbusters, Bill Murray in 19.

[Danny Heiferson]

I mean, dude, look at his official photo.

[High Fitz]

People live differently.

[Danny Heiferson]

This is the general manager of an NFL team.

[Craig]

Hold on. We're gonna hold this side by side.

[High Fitz]

This guy's making that. What's. What's that? 8. The guy that wants to live forever. What's his name?

[Craig]

Oh, Brian Johnson.

[High Fitz]

Yeah. This guy's putting Brian Johnson to shame.

[Craig]

This man is younger than that man. This man's younger than that man.

[Danny Heiferson]

It doesn't make any sense. It doesn't make any sense.

[High Fitz]

Bill Murray, he's always been weathered.

[Danny Heiferson]

He is the oldest looking guy. Craig was like, imagine if we just had a friend who's like 33 is Bill Murray. We'd be like, how do you know him?

[High Fitz]

I love that there's the meme that shows you how old everybody was on cheers during. During the heyday. And they're all like in their mid-30s. They all look like they're 50.

[Danny Heiferson]

Yeah.

[High Fitz]

Crazy.

[Danny Heiferson]

Yeah.

[High Fitz]

Borkature. So again, I think every year tight end is the weirdest position probably in terms of projections and where the as high Fitz calls it the NFL draft, intelligentsia has guys ranked. You always get weird ass picks at tight end because you're getting blocking tight ends. They're basically, you know, real football players. Obviously fantasy drives a lot of this stuff. And in offensive pass catching is a huge deal, but for teams, blocking is huge. So I think that's part of the reason they took this guy. I do think, you know, there's talk that he is a better mover. He's at the senior bowl, he was like 25. He was winning at routes and stuff. But to me, that. That's my point is he's a really old prospect. No production. Basically he didn't start for the first

[Danny Heiferson]

five seasons of college. Think about that.

[High Fitz]

They're making this pick because they think he can be a good blocker and maybe there's some upside as a pass catcher. To me, this is the definition of just way too cute. You're getting way too cute, dude. He didn't start smarter than everyone because. Because you saw how he ran routes or something like this is just the definition of that type of who needs

[Danny Heiferson]

six years of college football to start and be a second round pick. How is that possible?

[Craig]

Do you think it's hard? Like, if you in your career make it all the way up to being a general manager of an NFL team, do you think it's kind of hard to just be like. Yep. Just. Just like Take the guy that everybody else would take, you know, Right? It's like, no, no. I need to flex and show that I know more than everyone else.

[High Fitz]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Danny Heiferson]

You can't be smarter than everyone.

[Craig]

Like, there's like, I feel like you, you, you go your whole life using analytics until you actually have the top job and you're like, I don't need to use analytics. No, I know my gut.

[Danny Heiferson]

Wisdom of the crowds. Wisdom of me, baby. No, me and crowd.

[High Fitz]

There's some GMS if you last long enough. Even individual gms will go through phases where they, they like hit on a few draft classes and think they're hot.

[Danny Heiferson]

It's a heat check.

[Craig]

Yeah. It's like blackjack.

[High Fitz]

And they're like, oh, I'm gonna pick this guy out of this.

[Danny Heiferson]

Yeah. John Schneider had like the greatest run ever with Legion of Boom. And then he's like, I'm gonna take this guy. We have like everyone else, you know, LJ Collier and all these people in this first round. And then he. You know what did great when he stopped doing that, right?

[High Fitz]

And then he started doing safe, non cute auto draft. Right?

[Danny Heiferson]

And auto drafting. It's all like fantasy football. We could run an NFL team. I really think that, I really think we could run an NFL team.

[Craig]

You just, you just grab a consensus of every, every other team's board and then just auto draft. We just go on vacation filter for like team needs.

[Danny Heiferson]

We're just doing it from our phone.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Danny Heiferson]

We're not even there.

[Craig]

We need a quarterback, tackle, wide receiver, safety, auto draft. Those. We're gone. Done.

[High Fitz]

Call it a day. This episode is brought to you by Whole Foods Market. Spring is here, so celebrate it with fresh, juicy seasonal produce and some very tasty limited time flavors. New Whole Foods Market. Peach apricot rose Italian soda. Perfect for a picnic or brunch. As is their trending Mango yuzu Chantilly cake. But if you're on the go, new 365 Strawberry Pretzels make a great sweet snack. That sounds delicious. Get savings with yellow sale signs storewide and everyday low prices on 365 brand items. Enjoy the fresh flavors of spring. Save at Whole Foods Market.

[Danny Heiferson]

The playoffs are here and you can predict the action all the way to the finals with FanDuel predicts. Follow all the playoff dishes, swishes, wishes and misses. Predict the spread, the total points and even the game winner. Sign up for FanDuel Predicts and predict it from the couch. Offered by FanDuel Prediction Markets LLC, a registered Futures Commission merchant 18 plus, trading derivatives involve significant risk and may not be suitable for all investors. Manage your activity with our consumer protection tools. All right, I want to speak of which I want to talk about the quarterbacks.

[Craig]

Two of them taken.

[Danny Heiferson]

So the Cardinals took Carson back to quarterback out of Miami and they also took Texas A and M guard Chase Besantis, which I thought was a good pick. So they went all offense. And then your Steelers Greg took Drew Aller, quarterback at Penn State.

[High Fitz]

Was that the one that you wanted? How did you feel about that?

[Craig]

I don't know. I didn't have a strong take on any of it. Like, I guess it was Beck Aller or Nussmeier, but McCarthy said he wanted like a quarterback with like big strong arm, big frame and big hand.

[High Fitz]

All that. And also from Pennsylvania.

[Craig]

Well, he's not from Pennsylvania.

[High Fitz]

Well, he went to college.

[Danny Heiferson]

He went to Penn State.

[High Fitz]

He doesn't have to go very.

[Craig]

Yeah. The last few years he seemed to be close to Pittsburgh.

[Danny Heiferson]

I love the. The Steelers owner hired a guy, a coach from Pittsburgh to then draft a quarterback from Penn State because the quarterback they drafted from Pitt would literally in the Steelers building didn't work. So they went to Penn State instead. How do you feel? You love Justin Herbert and Drew Aller is kind of like it's Justin Herbert couldn't hit water if he fell out of a boat.

[Craig]

Yeah, Justin. Yeah. I mean, I guess the comparisons stop like once they step onto the field. Perhaps they have similar traits when they're getting measured. But outside of that, if Justin Herbert is the Terminator, then Allers like the drunk Terminator.

[Danny Heiferson]

It's like, it's like if you clone Justin Herbert but the clone. Something wrong with the clone.

[Craig]

Yeah. Most people I talk to who watch a lot of college football are like Drew Allers like actually terrible. Like he's just not good.

[High Fitz]

Right.

[Craig]

But you know, he has all those things that you talk yourself into where it's like his arm is ridiculous. If you like talk about highlights. The guy is unbelievable in a five minute highlight.

[Danny Heiferson]

He's got like the Joe Milton. I think he's broken people's like multiple receivers fit fingers have probably been broken.

[High Fitz]

Catches one of those players that has effortless velocity. Totally just the way he throws. Doesn't even look like he's.

[Craig]

The ball looks great coming out of his hands, but his footwork is like a complete mess. The offense he ran at Penn State was a mess. And so it's like Maybe it's Mike McCarthy and Aaron Rodgers work on him and then you never know.

[High Fitz]

But I mean, yeah, that is the, that's the idea. And this is the thing that coaches always do is like I can fix some type of deal. Because a big part of his issues is the footwork. It's just when he, when he tries to do anything that's not in rhythm and, and at the top of his drop back or whatever, he tries to move any, he tries to move his feet. He tries to even checking down where it's not in the flow of like his drop back. He, he, he feels, feels like he's trying to aim it messy. He starts thinking about where he's going to throw it and he makes it really difficult on his pass. Catchers when all they're trying to do is just do a swing pass or something. Yeah, it's like, it's really bizarre.

[Craig]

Mike McCarthy's offense is. Design is designed to be easy for a quarterback. And Appare Aller is like a good dude off the field is like very hardworking, good leadership skills. He's like somebody that you trust in the building will like put the work in.

[Danny Heiferson]

Like Carson Beck.

[Craig]

Like Carson Beck. I mean I, I would have been fine with Carson Beck too. That's what I thought they were going to take that. The, the, the signaling that the Steelers were putting out the last month was that it was going to be Carson Beck. But he went, he went. So maybe that's why they landed on.

[High Fitz]

The other thing to add here is the proto or like the, the archetype of quarterback that the Steelers have taken over the last few years is very like. It's like Garrett Nussman low traded, you know, cerebral guys that don't have the best traits. We think we can coach them up. This is kind of the opposite where it's. We want, we don't get the big guy that can throw the ball 70 yards.

[Danny Heiferson]

Yeah, yeah.

[High Fitz]

So it's like we don't need another Nessmeyer in the building when we have Will Howard Mason, Rudolph Kenny pick, you know, not now. But going back through the years with guys that they've tried to develop, I think Aller.

[Danny Heiferson]

I think quarterbacks and the way coaches look at quarterbacks is a lot like the how I met your mother the crazy hot scale where it's like quarterbacks, it's like it's like the tools to actual quarterback ability scale. And it's like Drew Aller on the hot scale is unbelievable. Like, it's just the size, the arm strength, everything but like he can't play quarterback but he's so hot that it's like oh, fuck it. I don't care how crazy he is. And, like, it's very similar. It's like the coaches go six to midnight, there's nothing they could do.

[Craig]

Yeah, there's no pressure on him.

[Danny Heiferson]

You think that's why McCarthy didn't stand up for the pick? He was just sitting down.

[Craig]

Probably many reasons why he didn't want to stand up.

[Danny Heiferson]

You said he was dressed like. What did you say? Wearing all black.

[Craig]

He looked like a Snuggie or like a onesie.

[Danny Heiferson]

What is. Yeah, what are they?

[High Fitz]

Snuggies? Is that the thing they're called, like, the things you put on for the

[Craig]

couch that goes on forward?

[High Fitz]

That's what he wears in the draft room. Oh, that'd be good.

[Danny Heiferson]

That's what he was wearing for the coach photo, basically. Geez. Okay.

[High Fitz]

It's got, like, big, big animal slippers on.

[Craig]

Can we stick with Pittsburgh for a second? So they drafted Jeremy Bernard, wide receiver at Alabama, which I thought was an awesome pick.

[Danny Heiferson]

What's his first name?

[Craig]

Jeremy.

[High Fitz]

Jeremy.

[Craig]

The germ is what we're calling.

[High Fitz]

I think it's Jeremy.

[Danny Heiferson]

We had an argument with this, but forgetting Jeremy because it's G, E, R, M, I, E, E. Sorry. G E, R, M, I, E. But then we couldn't. We had a rewind because we couldn't even agree how to say Jeremy. Well, because you think Jeremy. The name Jeremy.

[Craig]

Wrinkle added. Because when we first discussed this months ago, DK And I were on the same page. But then this time around, we. We found out that DK Pronounces the name Jeremy. Jeremy.

[High Fitz]

Yeah.

[Danny Heiferson]

You don't. You.

[High Fitz]

Two syllables.

[Danny Heiferson]

I think you're wrong.

[Craig]

That's wrong.

[High Fitz]

No, it's. I think it's right.

[Danny Heiferson]

No, but I don't think anyone named Jeremy is correct.

[Craig]

You don't say Jeremiah Love. You say Jeremiah.

[Danny Heiferson]

Right.

[High Fitz]

Those are two different names, though.

[Danny Heiferson]

We called my friend Jeremy, and he answered the phone and said, my name's three syllables.

[High Fitz]

Yeah, he's wrong. It's like the guy who invented GIFs and GIFs. I think it's GIF.

[Danny Heiferson]

Well, I think it's Sonny.

[Craig]

The. The actor with the last name.

[High Fitz]

Objectively wrong.

[Craig]

Renner. How do you say his in the.

[High Fitz]

Jeremy Renner?

[Craig]

You just said it correctly.

[High Fitz]

No, I said Jeremy.

[Danny Heiferson]

That's.

[High Fitz]

That's Jeremy Renner.

[Craig]

You're. You're.

[Danny Heiferson]

You're kind of bleeding.

[Craig]

Two and a half syllables.

[High Fitz]

You. I. The reason that we're arguing about this. I don't even care that much. As usual. Like. And when we argue about stupid like this.

[Danny Heiferson]

Yeah. You don't care ifit says it.

[High Fitz]

He hangs on the middle syllable.

[Danny Heiferson]

Jeremy.

[High Fitz]

Jeremy.

[Danny Heiferson]

That's just the name. That's.

[High Fitz]

I'm saying the name saying Jeremy.

[Craig]

Okay, fair. That's like I'm in the middle as usual.

[High Fitz]

Like saying athlete.

[Danny Heiferson]

Okay, you know what? You know what? While we're here. While we're here. You know what? While we're here. I had to take Purge that I kept to myself, but I'm going to say it.

[Craig]

Okay.

[Danny Heiferson]

I think DK's name mispronunciations are worse than mine.

[High Fitz]

Okay.

[Craig]

Did you bring evidence?

[Danny Heiferson]

Yes.

[High Fitz]

Whoa.

[Craig]

Okay.

[High Fitz]

It's gonna have to be a lot to beat Sonic. My name Scroll.

[Danny Heiferson]

My name mispronunciations are like Sonny. Sonny and Cher, who, like, died when I was three years old.

[Craig]

Sonny Corleone.

[Danny Heiferson]

Sonic, a movie from 20 years before I was born.

[Craig]

Okay, well, Sonny Styles is literally named after Sonny Corleone, and he's younger than.

[Danny Heiferson]

Okay, but I'm saying it was. The person I got name was Sonny. I said Sonny Jurgensen, who died decades before we were like. Right. That was one like that. My mispronunciation, like maestro, which is actually a word in Spanish. And then maestro's Italian. Maestro is how you say it in Spanish, not the fucking like other languages. DK 1 month ago said Melania Trump on the show, and we cut it.

[High Fitz]

This isn't a hot take because you fucking said this, like, eight times already. And there's a massive difference. Here's the difference. When I say something wrong, I go, oh, sorry, that was wrong. I'll try and do it right the next time you try and fucking gaslight everyone into saying you did it right.

[Danny Heiferson]

You said Elon Musk.

[High Fitz]

No, I said Elon Elon.

[Danny Heiferson]

You called him Ellen. It's been seven years. You call him Elon Musk.

[High Fitz]

Again, I'm not. I'm not arguing that I said it wrong. I'm having a right away.

[Danny Heiferson]

That's worse than.

[High Fitz]

Again, you're arguing. You're arguing a different thing than everyone else in the fucking world.

[Danny Heiferson]

Just saying.

[High Fitz]

I admit it when I say wrong and I say, oh, sorry. I'll say right next time.

[Danny Heiferson]

All right.

[High Fitz]

Except for Jeremy.

[Danny Heiferson]

Except for this one.

[High Fitz]

That's different.

[Craig]

I'm actually right about Jeremy.

[High Fitz]

It's Jeremy.

[Danny Heiferson]

Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy.

[Craig]

Jeremy is.

[High Fitz]

That's closer.

[Craig]

Jeremy.

[High Fitz]

I'll accept that.

[Craig]

Jeremy.

[High Fitz]

Yeah, that's fine.

[Danny Heiferson]

You think Jeremy has two syllables?

[High Fitz]

Two and a half, tops.

[Craig]

We can land on two and a half.

[Danny Heiferson]

Yeah, I can work with two and a Half. Oh, very. Just say I like very thin pancakes. This. This is fair compromise.

[Craig]

But Jeremy, or I'm calling him Jeremy Bernard because there's literally no e.

[Danny Heiferson]

This is.

[High Fitz]

This is. This is how it started. We had to work.

[Craig]

If you have a second son, you must name him Jeremy because then there's no. There's no.

[Danny Heiferson]

Yeah. With that said, I do want to talk about Jeremy Bernard. The germ.

[Craig]

The germ. Patient zero.

[Danny Heiferson]

He's one of my favorite. He should wear zero. He should wear zero. No, don't tell him that. He won't like it then. But. But the. But Jeremy Bernard from out to the germ. The germ receiver from Alabama. He's actually one of my favorite players in the draft, and he's one. He's the epitome of not that fast, not that agile in theory, and yet when you watch him play, he. All he does is make people miss, break tackles, get up field. And he does.

[High Fitz]

He's. He's nice.

[Craig]

Competency, good miles per gallon.

[Danny Heiferson]

He's competent at everything he does. And the. The Steelers getting him is perfect. I think he's. You're going to love him.

[High Fitz]

He's. To me, the. The poor man's version of Omar Cooper Jr. And it honestly wouldn't be that big of a surprise if he ends up being a better pro. I think he's. He's one of the smoothest, most natural runners of the football in this class. And that includes the running back.

[Craig]

Yeah, he's like Debo Light. And I think it's nice for Pittsburgh who has these like two pillars in Pittman and Metcalf on the outside.

[High Fitz]

Perfect.

[Craig]

Bernard can be just like running the baseline, doing things in between.

[Danny Heiferson]

Dude, he's.

[High Fitz]

I mean, think about assuming Aaron Rodgers is your quarterback this. This next year. Aaron Rodgers loves the smoke route. He loves to just get the ball out, let your receivers do that thing. You don't like to get hit.

[Craig]

Maybe. Look, maybe that's why they drafted Allard. Like, he can just hand the ball off to Jeremy Bernard. He doesn't even have to throw it to him.

[Danny Heiferson]

Yeah, it's perfect.

[High Fitz]

There we go. Sweeps. Sweep off.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Danny Heiferson]

Alice's gonna throw one. You know, it's gonna make a hole through his chest like Looney Tunes is gonna just like, go.

[Craig]

I was thrilled the Steelers got a number three wide receiver.

[Danny Heiferson]

Wait, and then you got Jennings dunker.

[Craig]

And then they got Jennings dunker out of Iowa.

[High Fitz]

The. The Tri State. Hail. Hail.

[Danny Heiferson]

What is it?

[Craig]

Hey, Bail.

[High Fitz]

Hay bale.

[Craig]

He won back to back Solon beef days. Hay bale toss titles.

[High Fitz]

It's a mouth.

[Craig]

And set the event record. Launching a Hay Bale weighing 60 pounds over 14ft 6 inches tall.

[High Fitz]

That's crazy.

[Danny Heiferson]

Wait, I'm sorry, say that again.

[Craig]

He said the event record. Launching a Hay Bale weighing 60 pounds over a bar. 14ft 6 inches high. 60 pounds.

[Danny Heiferson]

How far do you think you can throw a hay bale?

[High Fitz]

Country strong.

[Danny Heiferson]

Yeah, I was gonna say how far he threw. I'm like, I'd probably throw my back out. If I try to throw a Hay Bale over 14ft in the air.

[High Fitz]

You wouldn't be able to pick it up.

[Craig]

He's got the craziest like, like, like true red mullet.

[High Fitz]

Yeah.

[Craig]

You've ever seen.

[High Fitz]

The thickest mullet I've ever seen.

[Craig]

And he's a huge fan of Culver's, the fast food establishment.

[High Fitz]

Oh, I thought you meant like a culvert.

[Danny Heiferson]

No, it's.

[High Fitz]

I thought you were gonna say a culvert.

[Danny Heiferson]

No, it's, it's Culovers.

[Craig]

I want to read you guys. Also, he's, he's an avid reader. This is from Dane Bruglers, the Beast. He's an avid reader. He reads Ernest Hemingway and Stephen King. Oh, because why not?

[High Fitz]

Gentlemen and a scholar.

[Danny Heiferson]

And Jennings Dunker.

[Craig]

Just Jennings Dunker. By the way, Jennings is spelled with a G because. Sure.

[Danny Heiferson]

The first thing you said when they took him, you were like, Jennings,

[Craig]

he has a particular diet that he follows to a T before every game. This is what he eats in the, in the 12 to 24 hours leading up to the game. 5:30pm the night before. He has two to three also just people. God, the offensive lineman eats so much.

[Danny Heiferson]

It's crazy.

[Craig]

5:30pm the night before the game. Two to three servings of pasta with meat, marinara sauce, a couple bread rolls, a 12 ounce steak and a serving of. And two servings of fruit. That's at 5:30, three hours later.

[High Fitz]

Glad you got that fruit in there.

[Craig]

I love that. It was like three servings of pasta, bread and a 12 ounce steak on the side.

[High Fitz]

Big steak.

[Craig]

Three hours later, at 8:30pm he has three hours. He has three hamburgers, three bags, three bags of baked lace chips, a hydration mix and hot chocolate. This is to a tea, chocolate and three cheeses. The next morning he somehow has digested all that. At 7:15 in the morning.

[High Fitz]

Python.

[Craig]

At 7:15 in the Morning. He has four pieces of toast, two bowls of wheaties, a couple pancakes, two chicken breasts, 24 ounces of water and more hydration.

[High Fitz]

I hope he cooks them.

[Craig]

Yeah. What are we doing?

[High Fitz]

Maybe he doesn't.

[Craig]

That's at 7:15am yeah. Three hours later at 10:15am he has, he has Morton gel, which is some energy gel. I'm unfamiliar with Honey stinger, energy waffle and shoes. Honey stinger energy waffle and chews and choose.

[Danny Heiferson]

What is he.

[Craig]

I think those are like honey stinger. They're like little gel things.

[High Fitz]

I don't understand the words you're saying.

[Craig]

They're like chewable energy.

[Danny Heiferson]

Chewable waffle.

[Craig]

Yeah. I don't know, maybe that's just a flavor waffle. Then throughout the game he has more energy gels and Powerade. At halftime he did the same thing. And then the post game meal at Culver's, he has a double bacon cheeseburger, family size order of cheese curds or onion rings and three sides of ranch.

[High Fitz]

I love every game.

[Craig]

Every single.

[Danny Heiferson]

Dude, this guy's gonna love Primanti Brothers. Let me tell you.

[High Fitz]

That's like 50,000 calories.

[Craig]

If I had one of these.

[High Fitz]

How many, how many calories do you think that that's.

[Danny Heiferson]

It's enough for a week. It's enough for a week.

[Craig]

The night before the game in a three hour span, him having three servings of pasta with meat sauce, a 12 ounce steak, two servings of fruit, a couple bread rolls, three hamburgers, three bags of lace chips and a hot chocolate

[High Fitz]

chocolate.

[Craig]

At the end of that day he's like ready to go. Two chicken breasts.

[Danny Heiferson]

The hot chocolate at the end is just completely missed.

[Craig]

One

[Danny Heiferson]

meal.

[Craig]

Go back three hours, 7:15am when he has the whole toast and Wheaties and pancakes and two chicken breasts. An hour and 45 minutes later, from 7:15 to at 9am he has four more pieces of toast than another chicken breast.

[Danny Heiferson]

Yo, what the. Dude, these guys eat a lot.

[Craig]

He's three chicken breasts for breakfast with pancakes.

[Danny Heiferson]

Well, dude, they're burning like 15,000 calories a day anyway.

[Craig]

He's going to be a guard for the Steelers for the next 12 years.

[Danny Heiferson]

Dude, this guy is you getting Jeremy Bernard and Jennings Dunker is also why

[Craig]

good draft for the Steelers.

[Danny Heiferson]

Yeah, you should be lucky. Rogers doesn't come back. We needed something the Steelers again, I think the Steelers because Rogers is your quarterback. This is perception. You're old, but your offensive line. So you're going to put Troy Fauna 25 or under. Now all of them are. They could all date Leo DiCaprio. Unlike many players drafted by the Jaguars today, they're old, they're young enough to date Leo DiCaprio. But your entire offensive line at this point is. Yeah. Everyone's basically in their first, second or third year.

[Craig]

Yeah. I mean, you now have a. You have Zach Frazier, who's a great center. You have Mason McCormick and Big Max, who we just took out of Arizona state. You have McCormick, you have Spencer Anderson. This team is. And now you have.

[Danny Heiferson]

Your entire line is on the rookie contract.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[High Fitz]

Which is, I mean, hard to say, like 28. He's like one of the old people.

[Danny Heiferson]

Yes, he is.

[Craig]

Well.

[Danny Heiferson]

And the defense is old, but the defense is geriatric. But the offense, if Rogers retires the offense, you might have the youngest offense in the league.

[Craig]

I don't think there's an offensive player outside of the quarterback under over 30.

[Danny Heiferson]

You're right. Pittman is your second oldest offensive player probably. And he's like 28. Yeah.

[High Fitz]

Yeah.

[Craig]

I actually don't think there's an offensive player over.

[Danny Heiferson]

You're like a buddy cop.

[Craig]

That's right.

[Danny Heiferson]

The offense and the defense. Okay.

[High Fitz]

I don't see. There's no. I don't see. Oh, Mason Rudolph is the only 30 year old 30 in Hawaii outside of quarterback.

[Danny Heiferson]

Him being back for a second term is just unbelievable.

[High Fitz]

Aaron Rodgers is going to bring the average up.

[Danny Heiferson]

He's. Yeah, he's like, he's like. They had to take Bill Gates out of like, you know, the average median income.

[High Fitz]

Right.

[Craig]

I thought Rodgers was going to have a different job this term, but he didn't.

[Danny Heiferson]

Dude, him and rfk, do you see? RFK started a podcast. Do you think Rogers is. Do you think that's actually what he's thinking about is RFK starts a podcast and Rodgers is looking like Larry David at the chicken.

[Craig]

Dude, whatever. Poor bastard has to mix that audio.

[Danny Heiferson]

Wait, did you see him breathing at the hearing? I'm sorry, we have to pause. Did you see RFK breathing at the hearing?

[High Fitz]

I heard about it.

[Danny Heiferson]

Can I, Can I while.

[Craig]

Would you pay me to produce that podcast? Yeah.

[High Fitz]

Our producers, for the record, and we love you guys, they always complain about our mouth sounds.

[Danny Heiferson]

I don't give a fuck. Can I play this?

[High Fitz]

Can't imagine. Can't. RFK has got to be like, bottom.

[Danny Heiferson]

Hold on.

[High Fitz]

Zero percentile this week. You'd want to do this.

[Danny Heiferson]

I will cut this if no one wants to hear it. This is RFK at a hearing this week. This is just a hug. This is a congressman. A congressman. Congressman's talking. Just listen to this. RFK is just breathing in a microphone.

[High Fitz]

Among the many that you described in your testimony in that context, in your

[Craig]

testimony he sounds like he's asleep.

[High Fitz]

As a bedrock of health.

[Craig]

Oh, my. He has awake.

[High Fitz]

For treating and preventing chronic disease. Health care providers.

[Craig]

He snores when he's awake.

[High Fitz]

Incorporate nutrition into patient care. Securing commitments from more than 50 medical

[Danny Heiferson]

schools to provide lower.

[Craig]

Turn that mic down. It doesn't need to be hot right now.

[High Fitz]

Incredible start. There was probably very little nutrition in medical school and now we are encouraging.

[Craig]

Excuse me, Mr. Kennedy, are you awake?

[High Fitz]

How does HHS plan to build on this progress?

[Danny Heiferson]

By securing additional commitments medical and expanding

[High Fitz]

nutrition education into other key areas such as residency training, medical licensing and

[Danny Heiferson]

he's in charge of health.

[High Fitz]

What is his resting heart rate? Like 180.

[Danny Heiferson]

I actually never left. Anyway, it just keeps going.

[High Fitz]

That was like a family guy bit. So tell him to back up.

[Danny Heiferson]

So you know what the funniest part is? If Rogers retires, he's going to be doing a pod with rfk.

[Craig]

Craig.

[High Fitz]

Craig.

[Craig]

Just editing.

[High Fitz]

It's like the. The meme of the guy throwing the headphones every night. You can't listen to this.

[Danny Heiferson]

Oh,

[Craig]

hey, sorry. It was a little congested today. Okay, dude.

[High Fitz]

And that's all. Before he starts talking. God, then you have to talk. Do. Do the

[Craig]

Jennings dunker. I think he's gonna play left guard. Christ. Anyway,

[High Fitz]

that's the longest clip on the Internet. Yeah, you never need to go that long of a clip on the Internet. Except for that. That's. That's necessary.

[Danny Heiferson]

So. Poor bastard Cardinals also got Chase Basantis. I thought that was good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[High Fitz]

How do you.

[Danny Heiferson]

Big guards, huh?

[Craig]

Carson back. Carson Beck's pro. Going to play. Start five games this year.

[High Fitz]

He might. Well, yeah, I don't know because he's another one of those guys. He's super experienced. Yeah. And that helps. I think that gives him a better chance of success in the NFL. And they've got, like we mentioned, they've got pretty good weapons. But I don't know, the arm thing is an interesting scenario here where maybe he needs like a little bit more time for his arm to get.

[Craig]

But don't you think this is one of those situations where the Cardinals are not going to be good?

[High Fitz]

We don't think they might as well.

[Craig]

Right. Like, if you're going to take another quarterback next year, you might as well play Carson Beck this year and see. I mean, if he. If there's a one, he's awesome.

[High Fitz]

Psychiat. Got benched for years or whatever. Yeah. One example.

[Craig]

It's like you might as well. If. What's the point of drafting him and then just like another quarterback in the first round next year.

[High Fitz]

Right?

[Craig]

If you.

[High Fitz]

If you see what you got. Yeah, that's fair.

[Craig]

Especially with the skill players around him.

[High Fitz]

God, I wanna RFK thing.

[Danny Heiferson]

I'm still laughing about it. I.

[High Fitz]

How do you segue from that? Do you want to talk about bears? The bears? Dead bear.

[Danny Heiferson]

I. Oh, dead bears.

[Craig]

When. When hi is just like, going on about some draft pick in the third round, I'm just gonna be like,

[Danny Heiferson]

Imagine someone making that sound and turning out of their awake.

[High Fitz]

That's too.

[Craig]

That.

[High Fitz]

That was like, too rhythmic. You got. You got to like,

[Danny Heiferson]

Hey, dude, if you imagine turning around and hearing that sound and the person's just fully awake, like, looking at their phone, like, by

[High Fitz]

the way, I heard the awake apnea joke. And that was good. I acknowledge that.

[Craig]

Imagine you're watching theater.

[Danny Heiferson]

He needs a CPAP machine during the day, dude.

[High Fitz]

He's just gotta walk around with the cpap.

[Danny Heiferson]

Oh, my God. All right.

[Craig]

You're trying to watch Titanic. Jack's hanging onto the door next to you. You just.

[High Fitz]

Oh, God, I need to take a break.

[Danny Heiferson]

Somewhere out there is a Chevy truck, and the person who drives it, well, that's a Chevy person. You probably know one. Your buddy, your sister. Ones who always show up, they're the first to rise, the last to leave. They always have that little extra something. And maybe you've got it too. Chevron Together, let's drive. Visit chevy.com trucks to explore the lineup. This episode is brought to you by Amazon. Life's full of little surprises, like spilling coffee everywhere five minutes before a meeting or reaching for a diaper and realizing the bag is empty. Kind of like draft night. You think you know the plan, then everything changes. Look, life can be unpredictable, but everyday shopping doesn't have to be. With great savings on essentials, Amazon helps you cover the basics and the surprises. Because when life throws a curveball, it's nice knowing there's a place you can count on Amazon. Save on essentials. Save the everyday. I don't know how to talk about the Texans taking Kaden McDonald after that.

[Craig]

Oh, yeah, everybody was pissed, you guys.

[Danny Heiferson]

We were Austin and I. Austin's a huge Raiders fan. I'm a huge Giants fan. And we were just. We both just wanted Kaden McDonald desperately. The Giants needed defensive tackle, obviously. They traded Dexter Lawrence. The Raiders need one. All we wanted is Kaden McDonald's. And then the fucking Raiders blew it. They trade out with the Texans, two picks, and Houston comes up and gets the final infinity stone. On their defense, and they get Caden McDonald. The only thing Houston defense needs, a defensive tackle. They're completely different than the Seahawks in the NFC are like the most complicated defense. Nothing's as it seems. Texans just line a play, beat the shit out of you, and they're like, you know exactly what we're doing. Doesn't matter. You can't run enough. You can't throw deep. If you want to throw on Houston, you have to literally just cool, put it on the. On the money, 25 yards downfield onto the back shoulder over Derek Stingley's fucking hands. And then, sure, you can have an explosive play. And now Kaden McDonald's just going to, like, cut off the run. And honestly, if the Texans defense is healthy, they'll probably be in the Super Bowl. So the only thing I'll say from this, I think the single. I could argue that maybe this season the single most important player in the NFL, C.J. stroud, because I feel like his brain was just soup for the playoffs. I mean, he fumbled five times versus the Steelers and they four times versus Steelers, and they won the game. And then he went into the Patriots game and had probably one of the worst quarterback performances in, like, I don't want to say recent playoff history, but, like, it's in the top tier of like, holy shit, you blew it. If you go to week one and, like, throw for 400 yards, no one cares. But if CG strike goes into it just sucks in September, like, Texans fans are going to start to freak out. And I can't think of a player whose individual performance could so swing the outcome of a season as much as Stroud.

[Craig]

He just has to be solid and, like, they're an AFC championship team.

[Danny Heiferson]

Yes.

[Craig]

So, you know, there was talk after that Patriots game even then. It was like, do they need to move on from this guy?

[High Fitz]

Do they need to bench him for Davis Mills?

[Danny Heiferson]

He joked that C.J. stroud, like, there's always the stat where you're like, oh, this guy had a passer rating lower than if he had just thrown the ball into the ground every time, his pass rating would have been higher. You joked that if he had literally done that during the Patriots game, the Texans probably would have won the game. He just thrown the ball on the

[High Fitz]

ground punt on first down, they might win.

[Danny Heiferson]

They honestly, it's like, that's what they did in the 30s.

[High Fitz]

Yeah. You guys were freaking out about this Katie McDonald thing. Not you high, Fitz. Well, you kind of. You were performatively freaking out.

[Danny Heiferson]

It was like you were. You were making Fun of my freak.

[High Fitz]

You know the like, practical jokes where you guys are like, people are. A family is sitting in the living room and one person pretends to be scared about something and then the other one's like, oh, like starts running around. That was like Craig with Katie.

[Craig]

Like, the Texans traded up.

[High Fitz]

He's like, oh, my God. Suddenly Kaden McDonald is the key to everything in the NFL.

[Danny Heiferson]

Yeah, this guy that did go in the first round. He probably sucks. Whatever. The Texans also then took Marlon Klein, who is a German tight end, who's maybe a backup. I. I didn't really understand how that worked. Another being a win now team. I don't get that.

[Craig]

Is he at a Michigan right?

[Danny Heiferson]

He's in Michigan. It's kind of like if Colson Love hadn't really played football a lot. I don't really get it. I don't. There's so many teams that I don't really understand what they're doing.

[High Fitz]

At least when the Rams traitsy guy with not much production in the. In this. In the third round, he's six.

[Danny Heiferson]

Six. He's fast, but I don't know if he plays. I don't know if he knows that. It's. It's one of those people that I don't. It's hard to envision them really even being on the field for the Texans this year in any meaningful capacity. And it's just weird because I feel like the Texans are as win now as. As it really gets. So I don't really. Whatever. But otherwise though, the Kane McDonald's pick is great. What did you guys. The Eagles took Eli Stowers, the Vanderbilt Titan. They also traded for Jonathan Granard, the pass rusher from the Vikings. Yeah, they got. The Eagles sent a third this year and a third rounder next year and they got John Grinard, which we talked about on Wednesday is probably to happen. But that's just like a good player to get for the third round at a shitty draft.

[High Fitz]

One of them in this draft and one of them in the 27 for

[Craig]

Jonathan, 28 years old. Had like 12 and a half sacks last year. It's just like, I'm like, man, he was just sitting there for two thirds. Anybody could have grabbed. Why didn't every other team do that?

[Danny Heiferson]

I don't know. Do you ever wonder? You know, it's so funny, sometimes I do think that, like, it's kind of like fantasy football where other teams are like, why didn't you call me? And that sometimes people in fantasy football get good trades, but they actually Just have the time to text.

[High Fitz]

Text everyone. Right.

[Danny Heiferson]

And you're kind of like, damn, I. I wish I had just known. And you're like. But that person's just kind of in constant contact. I feel like Howie Roseman's superpower. He's actually just texting all these other GMs all the time.

[Craig]

Communicating.

[Danny Heiferson]

Yeah.

[High Fitz]

Like, I think that's just bugging people constantly. Fine, just take him.

[Danny Heiferson]

I know it's not half of it, but it feels like a great.

[High Fitz]

Leave me alone. Yeah. Yeah. Again, high Fitz is the gm.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[High Fitz]

I don't know what I'm there for.

[Craig]

Vibes, I guess I'm third string QB all time.

[High Fitz]

Totally.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[High Fitz]

Yeah.

[Craig]

Your vibes guy. Sure. You're the pronunciation chief.

[High Fitz]

Yeah.

[Craig]

Too soon.

[High Fitz]

Yeah.

[Craig]

Harsh.

[High Fitz]

Should we go? Should we?

[Craig]

No. Guys named Jeremy. We don't draft anyone named Jeremy.

[High Fitz]

No three syllable guys. Yeah.

[Danny Heiferson]

The other Eli Stowers, the other team.

[High Fitz]

Interesting pick.

[Danny Heiferson]

I. I don't know what to make. Eli Stowers, he's the kind of player.

[Craig]

He's tight end.

[Danny Heiferson]

He's. Yeah, sorry. Tight end. At Vanderbilt. He is. I know that Kenyon Siddique, the Oregon Titan, ran the fastest 40 yard dash in common history, but Eli Stowers, every other thing, had like one of the most athletic things ever. I think his vertical inch jump was 44 inches, which is basically NBA level 45. His Eli Stowers is. Yeah, sorry, what? I mean that when I say basically, I mean NBA. Like I don't think any player at the NBA combine has hit 44 inches in like five years.

[High Fitz]

I'm pretty sure Eli Stowers, 45 and a half.

[Danny Heiferson]

That's higher than Vince Carter at the end.

[Craig]

Higher than LeBron. LeBron was 44. Yeah, exactly.

[High Fitz]

He was the state champion high jumper, I want to say, in high school.

[Danny Heiferson]

Literally a higher vert than LeBron James or Vince or Vince Carter. And if you're wondering why the vert matters, it's also a conduit to explosiveness. All this stuff. Like he's like a crazy athlete. I also think he's the kind of player where, like, there's a reason they don't grab Olympians and put in the NFL. He's good at Vanderbilt. I also just feel like this is the kind of player that in a vacuum during draft season, you're like, oh my God, this is an NFL player. But then within the context of a team, I don't know what you do with these guys.

[High Fitz]

You have to have a plan for them. Yeah.

[Danny Heiferson]

And I don't understand and like maybe the Eagles do, but I just, I don't know, I don't want to write them off because is again, even by tight end standards, he is very athletic. Athletic.

[High Fitz]

Really?

[Danny Heiferson]

Because he is, can jump higher than LeBron. That's a good standard for athleticism.

[High Fitz]

He's as, as, as athletic as they come. Yeah, I mean he's ridiculous.

[Danny Heiferson]

LeBron. What a game by LeBron tonight.

[Craig]

Oh my God. 28, 13 and 6. He played 45 minutes. Was like beating people off the dribble. Threw an alley to his son. What the.

[Danny Heiferson]

How are you humiliating if you're the Rockets 41. Threw an alley oop to his son.

[Craig]

30 on the Rockets won two games in Houston.

[Danny Heiferson]

I do think the LeBron thing has become kind of like what you said about your very astute point when Brady won the Bucks super bowl, that you compared Brady to Alexander the Great, where the people with him thought they could not die. And I think LeBron strikes that in the heart of other teams at this point because everyone, the Rockets other than Durant's kind of young and I think they all just were like, LeBron's gonna win this game. I can't be LeBron James. I think it's in their heads anyway. All right.

[Craig]

Only won one game in Houston, not two games.

[Danny Heiferson]

Right. But Eli Stowers, I don't, I don't know. We'll see. I, I, I, we can talk about it most summer, but I, I just don't know. Like people like, oh, he's like more athletic. Evan Ingram. I'm like, Evan Ingram really didn't help many teams win a super football games. Like he had the second most catches ever for tight end in a season. But I'm like, but he didn't help teams win games.

[Craig]

The Eagles offensive situation is very interesting now. It's like you have Eli Stowers, you have Mai Lemon, you're going to probably lose AJ Brown, you have devontae Smith. Don not if you didn't know that. If you had to guess which, which team those players are on, you would not suggest that as the Eagles team.

[High Fitz]

Right.

[Danny Heiferson]

I want to just shout out the other team that I think is crushing. I thought the Falcons, who obviously didn't have a first round pick because they traded up to get James Pierce the first round of last year, who they just news dumped today might he might be back. Seems like he hired a great lawyer.

[High Fitz]

I think that charges were dropped.

[Danny Heiferson]

Yeah, it's his lawyer's name like Yale. His lawyer's literally named Yale. So it's like he got them charged.

[High Fitz]

Any relation to the university?

[Danny Heiferson]

Get me a lawyer named Yale.

[High Fitz]

Let's see. Yep, I'll take that guy. A lot of Browns, that's true.

[Danny Heiferson]

But yeah. So Atlanta Falcons they drafted honestly one of the better. They drafted Avion Terrell, the cornerback from Clemson whose older brother is literally AJ Terrell on the Falcons.

[Craig]

So yeah, they were together when he got drafted.

[Danny Heiferson]

It was just. It's pretty awesome that he just turned his brother and hugged and like that was sick.

[High Fitz]

I really like that.

[Danny Heiferson]

It was a really cool moment. And then the vibes difference between like Denzel Boston going to Cleveland and everyone there is like golf clapping and then like the Falcons are losing their mind. Like oh my God, the brothers are playing together. The other I have to say though, as you know, I have been a huge hater of Zachariah Branch, the receiver at a Georgia via catch past the line of scrimmage.

[High Fitz]

Yeah, I think so.

[Danny Heiferson]

How far past the line of scrimmage?

[Craig]

I mean a couple yards.

[High Fitz]

Yeah, yards.

[Danny Heiferson]

2.9 yards at least. His average depth of target at Georgia was 2.9 yards. As Scott Bear pointed out Zachariah Branch half his catches were behind the line of scrimmage. I basically he's a fake player. However, I have to admit he went to the Falcons. He is and he's like the Falcons who might play and Tua is there along with Michael Penix two might be the starter. I have to admit Tua is the perfect quarterback in Zachariah Branch is that is a place he can succeed because it literally will just be screens and quick passes to the outside and like that Tua can't throw it downfield anyway. I actually can see him at least being a PPR merchant in fantasy. If not that's all I've ever said.

[High Fitz]

I feel like maybe there's I did say though there's a 1% 1% chance he's Tyree Kill.

[Danny Heiferson]

To be clear, you didn't like him either. But then I hated him. And you're like now you're going to

[High Fitz]

I always liked him him then I was just like I dug my heels in more when he said he hated him.

[Craig]

But you particularly like this fit in Atlanta.

[High Fitz]

Yeah, because I think like Hivett said getting the if they want to get the ball out quickly, he can be kind of an extension of their run game. That was what he was essentially at Georgia where you know, instead of lining him up in the backfield, we're just going to toss it over to him. We're going to have Our guys go block, and you basically turn into a running back with the ball in your hands. He's really explosive. He's really dynamic in space. I mean, that's why he's such a good kick returner. He has a really good sense for beating pursuit angles and when. When to make a cut back out field.

[Danny Heiferson]

He would win tag.

[High Fitz]

He'd win tag. It's just really elusive. And so, I don't know. I just think it's. Of all the landing spots that we could have seen, this is one of the top ones for Zachary Branch. Zachariah Branch. Especially in a year when, like we said before, all these guys kind of landed in really murky situations or on bad teams or where they're now canceling each other out because they both landed on the same team.

[Danny Heiferson]

Team.

[High Fitz]

I think Zachariah Branch as the de facto sort of complement to Drake London.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[High Fitz]

Because the other guys, they got Kyle

[Craig]

Pitts, too, but they have Johan Dotson or Lama Zakias. And now Zachary. Zachariah Branch.

[High Fitz]

Yeah.

[Danny Heiferson]

Zachariah or Zachariah.

[Craig]

Zachariah, Right.

[High Fitz]

Yeah.

[Craig]

Zachariah or Zachariah.

[High Fitz]

We could just say Zach.

[Craig]

Zach Branch.

[High Fitz]

Zach Branch.

[Danny Heiferson]

How did that guy keep talking? I can't believe he was like, am

[Craig]

I on Impractical Jokers right now?

[High Fitz]

That guy is the focus of. I don't know what that. That was impressive. Like, I'm sorry. I can't hear myself think.

[Danny Heiferson]

Guys.

[Craig]

Guys want to hear the most annoying sound in the world?

[Danny Heiferson]

All right, we're gonna have a Fuller. We're gonna have multiple episodes this week with more of, like, a breakdown of the whole draft classes. But I do want a couple ridiculous things that happened today that I want to just. That we might forget about that I want to hit. First of all. First of all, first the. Oh, no, now I forgot the team. Wait, who took Logan Jones? The center. The Chargers did. No, sorry. The Charger took Slaughter. The Bears took Logan Jones, the center, out of Iowa and obviously drew down in the center that from the Falcons that the Bears signed in free agency last year and played pretty well. He retired, and so surprisingly, yeah, he's like, 28. And so the Bears took Logan Jones today, which center? Cool. Good for them. More importantly, Courtney Cronin at ESPN posted today. I'm going to just read this verbatim. Because Logan Jones was Drafted with the 57th overall pick, Logan Jones will receive a lifetime supply of ketchup from the Kraft Heinz Company.

[High Fitz]

Lifetime.

[Danny Heiferson]

Jones didn't know the incentive of his draft slot until informed on his Zoom. Minutes after being selected, quote, I love it. I'll take as much as I can get. Let's go catch up.

[Craig]

They should. They should.

[High Fitz]

Let's go catch up.

[Danny Heiferson]

Yes.

[Craig]

It'd be pretty fun if, like, every time a guy got drafted, he, like, spun the wheel of fortune. You've just won a trip to Puerto Vallarta.

[High Fitz]

That would actually make the draft way more.

[Danny Heiferson]

That would be way better.

[Craig]

A lifetime supply of ketchup. I think the.

[High Fitz]

The lifetime supply shtick is so archaic in, like, 70s, 60s, or 70s.

[Craig]

How does that work?

[Danny Heiferson]

It doesn't. How do you redeem your lifetime?

[Craig]

Is he a guy? He texts like, hey, I'm out of ketchup. No problem.

[High Fitz]

Hold on, buddy.

[Danny Heiferson]

Work.

[High Fitz]

We fucking closed years ago. We. We're not making the product.

[Danny Heiferson]

What button? Imagine calling the, like, the number on the back of the ketchup bottle and being like, press one for customer service. And being like, what number is the.

[Craig]

Have a lifetime special black card or something. He goes to the supermarket.

[Danny Heiferson]

Yeah, yeah. It's like Chipotle's.

[Craig]

The black behind the Heinz bottles. Yeah. Okay. Grab as many as you want.

[Danny Heiferson]

He's right.

[Craig]

Wait.

[Danny Heiferson]

Oh, wait, hold on. Email us at ringer fantasy football gmail.com if you or anyone you know ever received a lifetime supply of anything that's really good and let us know how that shit works.

[High Fitz]

I want to know what's the thing you would most want, like, a reasonable, everyday product that you use that you most want a lifetime supply, like a great ceremonial grade matcha.

[Craig]

Do you.

[Danny Heiferson]

It's a great question.

[Craig]

Yeah. Do you want something that you use every day? Do you want something that is a luxury that you wouldn't typically buy?

[High Fitz]

I think. I mean, we're talking about ketchup, so something that you.

[Danny Heiferson]

Yeah. Practical.

[High Fitz]

Something that's not luxurious. Dishwasher or that you can't, like, resell it or something?

[Craig]

What about. I would like a lifetime supply of socks.

[High Fitz]

Oh, I like that.

[Craig]

Oh, that's good.

[Danny Heiferson]

God, that's all I want.

[High Fitz]

You know?

[Danny Heiferson]

That's all I want. I can't handle. Dude, I hate packing for socks. Shout out to Jackson Bevins, who sent me socks the last time I talked about this on the show. I hate socks. I hate dealing with socks.

[Craig]

Socks anxiety.

[Danny Heiferson]

I have the pairing socks. It sucks. I hate having a pair of socks.

[High Fitz]

How could you possibly be stressed about socks?

[Danny Heiferson]

I don't understand. They work. You pair it with the pain. Oh, my God.

[Craig]

You're traveling. You just. You just grab any of your two white socks that are the same range.

[Danny Heiferson]

But then sometimes you wear white socks and it's like you're not supposed to wear white socks and people do.

[High Fitz]

You can just own it.

[Craig]

There is almost no circumstance in a normal setting, not a formal setting where white socks is not.

[Danny Heiferson]

That's what you think.

[Craig]

No, no, that's right.

[Danny Heiferson]

No, that's not true.

[Craig]

A non formal setting, you can wear white socks.

[High Fitz]

Socks, yeah.

[Craig]

At 90 of the time, maybe more. 98 probably. But like a casual setting.

[Danny Heiferson]

What if we're wearing shorts?

[Craig]

Of course you can wear white socks.

[Danny Heiferson]

White ankle socks.

[High Fitz]

Yes. Depends on the length, I suppose.

[Craig]

Of course.

[High Fitz]

Wear normal socks.

[Danny Heiferson]

What are normal.

[High Fitz]

Normal. White. Regular tubes.

[Danny Heiferson]

How much? How much. How much shock can show if you're wearing shorts.

[Craig]

Any length is fine.

[Danny Heiferson]

No, it's not. No, it's not.

[High Fitz]

I don't, I don't. I get shocked saying nowadays, shame. Millennials get shamed for oring ankle socks. No shows.

[Craig]

Yes.

[High Fitz]

All the, all the. All the hip kids.

[Craig]

You're saying no shows?

[High Fitz]

Yeah. You're not allowed to wear it. No. Well, not no shows.

[Craig]

You're not even.

[High Fitz]

You're not allowed to wear ankle socks.

[Craig]

You talking about the ones that are only a couple inches above? Yeah, those are not cool. That's what I'm saying.

[Danny Heiferson]

You can't wear any length. It's like it matters.

[Craig]

No, you can. You can wear ankle socks and the like the mid. The like quarter length socks. You can do both of those. It's fine.

[Danny Heiferson]

Dude, the mid calves, I cannot wear mid calves anymore.

[Craig]

That's ridiculous. That's like a dress.

[Danny Heiferson]

Listen, mid calves, it's a quarter sit.

[Craig]

Length is what they're called.

[Danny Heiferson]

I can't hand. I can't matter so much to people. I don't want to deal with it.

[Craig]

It doesn't like. That's fine. You can wear those with anything.

[Danny Heiferson]

But you're wearing long pants. You're going to wear that with shorts.

[Craig]

Yes, you can.

[Danny Heiferson]

I don't know.

[High Fitz]

This is the most. Dude, just wear socks.

[Danny Heiferson]

I want a lifetime supply. I don't want to deal with this.

[High Fitz]

Sorry I asked. Actually, that's a good one though. Socks.

[Danny Heiferson]

Socks is good.

[High Fitz]

Socks would be nice. Like just crisp T shirts.

[Danny Heiferson]

Oh, white teas White tees is a good call.

[Craig]

Actually, you know what, can somebody email us? I've been looking for like the best somewhat affordable white tea that doesn't. Bacon neck immediately. That doesn't shrink in the washing neck. Bacon neck.

[Danny Heiferson]

It's like the bacon collar. The Jordan commercial.

[Craig]

Oh yeah.

[Danny Heiferson]

You know the Jordan commercial where he's got The Hitler mustache.

[High Fitz]

Sorry, what?

[Craig]

The.

[Danny Heiferson]

The Jordan commercial where he's like, the bacon collar, but he's got the Hitler mustache. Yeah.

[High Fitz]

I've never heard that expression, bacon collar.

[Danny Heiferson]

No one.

[High Fitz]

Also, I understand it, though.

[Danny Heiferson]

LeBron. Do you think LeBron can be the goat if he never tried to bring back the Hitler mustache? That's the ultimate heat. Check is. Jordan was like, I'm gonna just do that.

[Craig]

You think? Are you saying if LeBron brought back the Hitler mustache, he would now be the goat?

[Danny Heiferson]

He couldn't even try. Jordan tried, which is nuts and doesn't get actually.

[Craig]

But to be honest, that, like, Jordan thinking he could do that is why he's the goat.

[Danny Heiferson]

Exactly. I completely agree. I completely agree. It's crazy.

[Craig]

He did it. He didn't just do it.

[Danny Heiferson]

He didn't just go out, get photographed with tmz. He did that in a commercial for T shirts.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Danny Heiferson]

He was like, I'm gonna wear a hater mustache.

[Craig]

Like, hey, man. Literally no one say anything.

[Danny Heiferson]

That's what I wonder. Did anyone say anything? Hold on, I'm googling. Hate Jordan. Bacon collar, Hitler stash.

[Craig]

You don't need. You just do Hanes.

[Danny Heiferson]

Dude, he really was. He really was. It really was just like, that's crazy.

[Craig]

He kind of pulls it.

[High Fitz]

He does not.

[Craig]

I don't think he looks bad.

[Danny Heiferson]

Well, that ain't. I mean, he got it.

[High Fitz]

I don't think. I don't like it.

[Danny Heiferson]

I think it's better than Hitler.

[High Fitz]

I think it's awful.

[Craig]

I mean, look, the association with Hitler, bad. But on its own, I think in

[High Fitz]

a vacuum, it's bad, too.

[Craig]

You do?

[High Fitz]

Yeah.

[Danny Heiferson]

In a vacuum. Yeah, it does. Just look.

[High Fitz]

It's like he has, you know, one of those, like. What do they call the little, like, flavor saver thing? That. That was something they're in, like, the soul patch. It's like, what's Fred Durst? Yeah, that's like.

[Craig]

Durst, extend it to the.

[Danny Heiferson]

I told you.

[Craig]

He's got that.

[Danny Heiferson]

I told you. I always conf. No, it's not Fred Durst. He killed his fucking Fred. Which.

[High Fitz]

Which kind of had, like.

[Danny Heiferson]

Who killed his wife? Robert Durst. I always confused them.

[High Fitz]

What?

[Danny Heiferson]

I always confused Robert Durst from the Jinx and Fred. Bill Barnwell knows this. I did this on his show once.

[High Fitz]

Same name.

[Danny Heiferson]

I always confused the Dursts of. Which one's the Murder on the Jinx.

[Craig]

Durst had, like, the. The soul patch down to the chin, though.

[High Fitz]

Yeah, that's not what I was thinking, you know?

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Danny Heiferson]

Oh, yeah. No, that's not it.

[High Fitz]

Soul Patch is what I was looking for. Soul Patch. Jesus Christ. What a name.

[Craig]

Theory's got it.

[High Fitz]

It.

[Danny Heiferson]

Okay.

[High Fitz]

Soul Patch. Who named that? They should be in prison.

[Craig]

Fury's actually got the goatee, but he just has the dyed strip. He's got the dyed landing strip on the chin.

[Danny Heiferson]

Don't call it a landing strip. You call him the died stop.

[Craig]

Actually, I would never slander Guy Fieri. His son goes to sdcu.

[High Fitz]

Guy Fieri's the goat.

[Craig]

He's the goat.

[Danny Heiferson]

I would. Can we get Guy Fear on the show?

[Craig]

Basketball?

[High Fitz]

Yeah.

[Danny Heiferson]

Can we get Guy Fieri?

[High Fitz]

Show date.

[Craig]

Can we get him?

[Danny Heiferson]

Do you think we get Guy Fieri?

[High Fitz]

Try.

[Craig]

We can certainly try.

[Danny Heiferson]

Guy Fieri. Come on. Come on. The show. Guy Fieri, guys. All right. I also.

[Craig]

Come on, Flavor Town.

[Danny Heiferson]

I also want to tell you guys something.

[Craig]

Okay.

[Danny Heiferson]

Serious, though. Email us at ring Fancy Football gmail.com if anybody won a lifetime supply. I really want you to.

[Craig]

And the white te thing.

[Danny Heiferson]

Uniqlo has good ones. Okay, I. I'll send you the link. CH The Chiefs took the pass rusher at Oklahoma, R. Mason Thomas.

[High Fitz]

Yeah.

[Danny Heiferson]

I don't know how we went the whole draft season. We did not. Okay, you and I talked about it.

[High Fitz]

I don't even told Craig offline.

[Danny Heiferson]

Do you know what R. Mason Thomas stand the R stands for?

[Craig]

Haven't we talked about this?

[Danny Heiferson]

Yeah, well, maybe we did.

[High Fitz]

Nothing.

[Craig]

I can't tell.

[Danny Heiferson]

His name is R. Mason. Oh, yeah.

[Craig]

We did talk about this.

[Danny Heiferson]

There's no.it's R Mason. It's just an R. So. His mom said it doesn't.

[High Fitz]

Are you going to the mall later?

[Danny Heiferson]

But yeah, basically there's a lot of Rs in, like, R names in his mom's family, but she didn't really like the R name, so. But she wanted to keep the tradition alive, so she went with R. Mason.

[Craig]

That kind of sounds cool. It sounds like he's an author.

[Danny Heiferson]

Yeah, it does.

[Craig]

Our Mason Thomas sounds nice.

[Danny Heiferson]

Our Mason. Yeah, it's like. Yeah, it does sound like.

[Craig]

What does he go by? R?

[High Fitz]

Good question.

[Danny Heiferson]

I think he goes by Mason.

[Craig]

He goes by Mason. Considered his middle name.

[Danny Heiferson]

No, R. Mason is his first name.

[Craig]

Does he have a middle name?

[Danny Heiferson]

I think so. I don't know what it is.

[High Fitz]

Yeah, he went by according to the Beast. Again, invaluable.

[Danny Heiferson]

Dane Brugler. I cannot shout him out enough. The work he does on the beat.

[High Fitz]

Danny Kelly, he's the draft guy.

[Danny Heiferson]

You do a Great draft guide. NFL draft of the ringer dot com. You do not have 40 kickers.

[High Fitz]

I don't know what our Mason Thomas went by as a child, but it says here he went by Mason.

[Danny Heiferson]

Dane Brugler has the professions of everybody's parents. Of the 1000 players that are draft eligible, shout out to Dane. Yeah, I don't know what he does all year, but that's incredible. I don't know how much sun.

[High Fitz]

This is what he does.

[Danny Heiferson]

It's. I know. It's unbelievable. He's like Belichick, the confetti's rating down. He's like, we're so behind. I also want to shout out Mark Ingram, who won coming out for the Ravens for each pick was bizarre because I associate Mark Saints.

[Craig]

Me too.

[High Fitz]

Yeah. And.

[Danny Heiferson]

But Mark Ingram just coming out and holding up his son to the microphone and his son's like, the Steelers suck to 300,000 people or whatever.

[High Fitz]

That's like some balls.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Danny Heiferson]

I want to play a little game which is. Did your team take anyone too old to date Leo DiCaprio? Because. Because of the bizarre circumstances of COVID and Nil and everything, there are multiple players in this draft who will be 25 years old for week one who

[High Fitz]

are maybe already 25 too.

[Danny Heiferson]

Or already 25, which again, is just my line. I'm not like the most. Like, this person's too old. It started last year for me or a couple years ago with Bo nex. But like, we are just jumping the shark now with the fucking. These guys are 25. Like. Like there have been NFL players drafted at 20 and then signing second contracts at 24.

[Craig]

Drake London is 24 right now.

[Danny Heiferson]

Like it's ins. How old is Kyle Pitts?

[High Fitz]

He's 21.

[Craig]

No, no.

[Danny Heiferson]

Jason Tatum. Still 19 years old. Kyle Pitts is 25.

[Craig]

But this is his fifth year. Sixth year.

[High Fitz]

Yeah, it will be his fifth year. They picked up his fifth year option, I think thought yes, yeah, or no, no, no.

[Danny Heiferson]

It's a franchise tag.

[Craig]

It's a six season.

[Danny Heiferson]

He's 25. There are multiple players who'll be 25 in September. So I want Nate Borre, who's the tight end. The Niners took some guy named Romello Height who I know was like a decent prospect. And he's. But just the fact his name is Height is ridiculous. I'm sorry, I. I can't take you seriously.

[High Fitz]

It's ridiculous.

[Danny Heiferson]

Romello Height.

[Craig]

His.

[Danny Heiferson]

That's such a Madden name. Height.

[Craig]

Jennings. Dunker.

[Danny Heiferson]

H E I J H Fuck.

[Craig]

G H T H E I J H T yeah.

[High Fitz]

Fuck.

[Danny Heiferson]

The Red Bulls had a hitting. We Were looking up these guys birthdays and we saw that. So the Raiders took a safety name, trade in Stukes, and we're looking at birthdays and one of you just was like, so he was born on 9 11.

[Craig]

Like, literally September 11, 2001.

[Danny Heiferson]

The 9 11?

[High Fitz]

Yeah, the 9 11. Yeah.

[Craig]

Which I think you should. If you're born on that specific day, you should legally be allowed to push it.

[Danny Heiferson]

A day. I agree. That's such a. Yeah, I think just

[Craig]

for that day, you can push it.

[Danny Heiferson]

I agree. The people whose birthdays are 9 11, like, that's. That's not cool school. Yeah.

[Craig]

You get to be one day younger. Congrats.

[Danny Heiferson]

I. I actually think that's a good take. You should just sell it. Just celebrate your birthday on the 10th through the 12th. Like, don't. Yeah, that's. Come on.

[Craig]

Yeah, big deal. Who cares? Give him an extra day.

[Danny Heiferson]

Honestly. Really? The other one. So the Rams took Keegan Trost in the third round. Who. I've never heard of this guy. Dk. You. You said the word seventh year senior.

[Craig]

Really?

[Danny Heiferson]

Yeah.

[High Fitz]

That's got to be up there with the most. Seventh year senior. He spent one year at Morgan State. Four seasons. One. Yeah. Four seasons at Indiana State.

[Danny Heiferson]

That's five college experience, right? That's a super duper season.

[High Fitz]

He got his doctorate. He got wake. One season at Wake Forest, and he finished his college.

[Danny Heiferson]

I don't.

[High Fitz]

Can you call it a career? He finished his college Journey. Journey. At Missouri.

[Craig]

Okay. Odyssey, if you will.

[Danny Heiferson]

Will. Dude. He went to four colleges.

[High Fitz]

25 years old.

[Danny Heiferson]

He went to four colleges over seven years.

[High Fitz]

He was born before 9 11, right? Yeah.

[Danny Heiferson]

So how is this part. This is crazy.

[High Fitz]

This is the last year this is going to happen though, right? I think I'm so granting people actually.

[Danny Heiferson]

These kids didn't do anything wrong. But these. But these guys were grown men taking college spots from high schoolers which. And then they had to go other places and they had to go to FCS and then wait for these guys to leave so they could go back to D1. And it's kind of fucking crazy. This was allowed like the whole bullshit that Diego Papa. And like, this still happened. Trinidad Shambliss, where they're like, hey, good news. Trinidad Shambliss, the Ole Miss quarterback who I love, went back to school and they're like, oh, good. Like, juco doesn't count as a college year. So good news. If you did tears at a juco and you can go back for six years and it's like, that's crazy. I don't know, we don't get the state of college football. But I, I'm not going to lie. I hate these guys. I hate them. And like if it's Keonte Scott I like because at least he's cool.

[Craig]

Akeem25, right?

[Danny Heiferson]

Akeem messenger is 25, but key. Messenger is 25, but he also has 2 foot injuries. And I just, I don't know, I. This profile player, some of them might be really. I actually wouldn't be shocked if some of these guys are really good because they're, you know, full grown adult men.

[Craig]

Is this a change in philosophy for teams where they're like, like if I can get a guy on a cheap deal. And I think he's more ready to play right now because of his age, his experience, his physical development. Like maybe these are worthy picks. Even if a second contract, he'll be 29 or 30, who cares? Because I feel more confident that a third round pick who's 25 can actually deliver for me right now.

[High Fitz]

Well, yeah, I mean there's multiple schools of thought on this. It's with Mesador as an example, I feel like he's ready to play right now. He will contribute right away. Right.

[Craig]

And if you're a team that has the winning windows right now, which I think the Chargers think they do. Yeah, maybe it makes sense.

[High Fitz]

And then I think. But the counterargument to that is like, what if he's just already reached his peak, he's already developed, he's not going

[Craig]

to get any better sacrificing upside for floor.

[High Fitz]

Right.

[Danny Heiferson]

And so.

[High Fitz]

And you're sacrificing the long term thing because he'll be 30 years old once his first contract is over.

[Danny Heiferson]

There's this Bill Parcell's quote from back in the day of we can only take what they're giving us. Meaning that it is a tale as old as time for NFL scouts to complain about whatever new trends in college football is sending to the pros. And Bill Parcell's point was, well, it doesn't fucking matter. This is all we have to pick from. And this is just the. And everyone has to do it. And this is the latest trend that yeah, even four years ago taking a 25 year old was preposterous because again, I'm like his second contract, he'll be 30. Like I love Keonta Scott, the cornerback From Miami, his second contract, like speed based cornerbacks are dust by 30. However, the truth is no one knows how this is going to work out and I wouldn't be Shocked if an aggregate. Again, the stat that sums up college football to me in a nutshell is that the average age of Indiana starters who again they went 16 and O undefeated national champions. Indiana's average age was 23 and a half years old for their starters and Green Bay packers average age was 25.

[High Fitz]

That's wild.

[Danny Heiferson]

Like Indiana one was because they were a professional team. Miami me, key message 25. Ruben Bane's like almost 23. Carson Beck's 2023. Like these are grown men.

[High Fitz]

Cool. Moneyball. Like it's interesting.

[Danny Heiferson]

Take professional, matured people.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Danny Heiferson]

So we'll see. It's very. I will be curious to see how

[Craig]

these old people, Anthony Richardson, Kyle Pitts, These guys are 19, 20 years old. Like, I mean they have them for 15 years and then it's like actually they're terrible. They barely play.

[Danny Heiferson]

It's like the NBA when they're like would take all these like 18 year old high schoolers and they're just like, do I get to home for Christmas? And it's like, no, you playing on Christmas. But. And now it's like, oh, you know what? Forget going to college. We want people, we got people with advanced degrees. Yeah, our titan went to college twice. All right, Anything else? I think that was mostly it.

[Craig]

Yeah. Yeah, I think so. I mean it wasn't the most electric day too. And that's mostly just because of the players that were available. If you look at round two last year, man, it was so many. I mean you had like Trayvon Henderson and Quintean Judkins and Luther Burden and,

[High Fitz]

and the landing spots for the, I mean in particular for, you know, for fantasy people was like way more exciting. This one is just like everyone, almost every landing. So I was like, ah, God, now he's gonna be buried for three years or whatever.

[Danny Heiferson]

Yeah.

[High Fitz]

So yeah, I think last year certainly felt much more exciting on day two. But still, still some interesting storylines and still some stuff to get excited about. But yeah, kind of a weird draft.

[Danny Heiferson]

And overall I want to do a couple emails, but we're going to. Just a reminder, we're going to have winners and losers from the draft. We're going to record that Sunday morning. That'll be either Sunday night or Monday morning. And we're also going to have going to go over later in the week like all 32 draft classes. We're going to go over. Rookies and fantasy landing spots are the name of the show. We'll go back to fantasy football show at some point later next week. Just a reminder, we if you have discovered us during draft season. At this point, you've heard us do a lot of RFK mouth sounds and you probably have seen how weird we get. And I promise you, even if you don't play fantasy football, I suggest you try and stick with us and see what happens, because I think you might enjoy the fantasy football season with us, too. So with that said, I do want to read a couple emails before we get out of here, so I'll let you. Well, one, just real quick. Basically, someone offered to let us try to name a community that they're building and someone emailed in. Two things happened. One, we joked to a close box. Cloist Box Lane exists in Anna, Texas. I assume this is where all these

[Craig]

guys got streets named after them.

[Danny Heiferson]

The Dallas Ranch. I think it's where that was. Was because he's home. One of the many line items in his close box.

[High Fitz]

He owns the house that was in Dallas.

[Danny Heiferson]

Like the show Dallas.

[High Fitz]

Right.

[Danny Heiferson]

So I think that one's named. But the other one, someone suggested one that stuck out to me, which is

[High Fitz]

from Michael M. Bone.

[Danny Heiferson]

He said we should name it Glansburg Gardens.

[High Fitz]

Ooh, gardens.

[Danny Heiferson]

Stephen Glennsburg from Super Bad. I think Glensburg Gardens. There's something there that's nice. Yeah. So keep emailing us in names to this community. I also want to shout out. So we talked a lot about attending the draft left and because you see the zoom out and it's kind of like a litmus test on whether you'd be interested in going to Times Square in New York City where you're either like, hell yeah, that's awesome. Or like that. My literal nightmare. And the. A lot of the pitches were basically, it's a football carnival and it's pretty cool and it's fun. However, we also were like, there's no way there's 300,000 carnival for football. I don't know carnival, but someone point we were talking like, there's no way it's 300,000 people there. Like that's more than Coachella. Like that just seems like a lie. How do they count? So we got an email from. I'm actually going to redact their name because I. I think they should have. But they're gonna get in trouble. Well, they didn't say that, but I'm doing it for them.

[Craig]

It's reputational suicide to know that they went to the draft.

[Danny Heiferson]

We cannot. Oh, I thought emailed us. So they emailed. Breakfast was orange sparkling Celsius. Wow. That's not what. Orange sparkling Celsius. Fiber gummies. And a Vicodin Sucks. Getting old. Any hoodles?

[High Fitz]

Whoa.

[Danny Heiferson]

That's a quote.

[High Fitz]

Fiber going gummies.

[Craig]

Okay. That is like. That's like a Jordan Belfort breakfast.

[Danny Heiferson]

Orange sparkling sells his fiber gummies.

[Craig]

He's getting fired up with Vikings. The Vicodin mellows them out. And what was in the middle? A fiber gummy.

[Danny Heiferson]

Yeah.

[Craig]

Fiber is important.

[Danny Heiferson]

So redacted. Here writes. I've been in the hospitality industry for over 30 plus years. I've been a part of many large scale events. He lists a ton. But you trust me, like a ton of big sports related giant events.

[High Fitz]

Bonafides. Bonafides.

[Craig]

And it's.

[Danny Heiferson]

We should have known this. They use cell phone towers to calculate the data.

[High Fitz]

Oh it's like kind of the how many. How to tell what the traffic. Traffic.

[Danny Heiferson]

It's like the end of the Dark Knight. They're like what? You know? And Christopher Morgan Freeman's like this power's too. Too much for the editing. And then it became the basis of the digital economy.

[High Fitz]

Don't love that.

[Danny Heiferson]

So yeah. The short answer is they use cell phone towers. These Bluetooth technology. They let you get into the. If they download an app, you can get in everything with the QR code. It's way easier to get through what they do. And then they. Five they gas.

[High Fitz]

They counted and no one.

[Craig]

There's a guy.

[Danny Heiferson]

Like there's a guy just boom, boom, boom.

[High Fitz]

I don't think that's it. Yeah. Prove it.

[Craig]

What? Because what is it? The. What's the. The largest concert of all time. Isn't it Rod?

[Danny Heiferson]

They claim it was. Yes. It's Rod Stewart.

[Craig]

Wasn't it like a million people in Rio or something?

[Danny Heiferson]

There were. Yeah. So there are many moments.

[High Fitz]

Rod Stewart.

[Danny Heiferson]

There are many moments I've been wrong on the show. The most wrong I've ever been was how famous was Rod Stewart really? And the answer was he arguably had the biggest gathering of human people ever.

[Craig]

3.5 to 4.2 million people in Rio de Janeiro on New Year's Eve in 1994.

[Danny Heiferson]

How do they know that? So but to be clear that they're counting like a miles and miles strip

[High Fitz]

of beach almost the population of Norway that's.

[Danny Heiferson]

They're counting miles the entire country.

[Craig]

Why do you know the population Norway?

[Danny Heiferson]

I don't know.

[High Fitz]

I looked it up recently. Because.

[Danny Heiferson]

Why?

[High Fitz]

Because it was something to do with the Olympics. I can't remember.

[Craig]

Okay.

[Danny Heiferson]

Oh.

[High Fitz]

Because the.

[Danny Heiferson]

Norway always wins.

[High Fitz]

They did insanely well in the. They have. Norway has 5.6 million people, man.

[Danny Heiferson]

That's. Yeah. So Rod Stewart got 2/3 of the way to a Norway. Yeah. But I thought that was pretty depressing.

[High Fitz]

There was a Norway there, so it's funny.

[Craig]

It appears to be.

[High Fitz]

He had a Norway.

[Danny Heiferson]

Thanks, Mr. Norway.

[Craig]

Five of the top ten largest concert ever have taken place at the same beach in.

[Danny Heiferson]

In Rio at that point. That's just New Year's Eve. Yeah, that's like. That's like we turned on the super bowl for Bad Bunny. Like. No, it's kind of the other way.

[Craig]

It's not always New Year's. February and May. And May. Only two of them have. Two out of the five are New Year's Eve. The rest are just May.

[High Fitz]

And who are the other artists? Anyone we know?

[Craig]

Lady Gaga. May 3rd, 2025 is 5th.

[Danny Heiferson]

I feel like she gets to play at this beach.

[Craig]

25 million maybe.

[Danny Heiferson]

I don't know. That's. That's crazy, actually. So how. How big is the stretch every time?

[Craig]

Like Madonna. Madonna in 2024? 1.6. I don't know about this.

[Danny Heiferson]

You said 2026 was. Did you just say no?

[Craig]

1.6.

[Danny Heiferson]

A 1.64.

[Craig]

Like, what?

[Danny Heiferson]

She's still rolling.

[Craig]

She was just at Coachella, I think.

[Danny Heiferson]

Oh, I think Madonna. I think Madonna is an. Is a top tier, like, most famous person still alive. Our generation missed.

[High Fitz]

I mean, I know.

[Craig]

Yeah, it's a great, great name. It is SAB car.

[High Fitz]

It's like ScarJo.

[Craig]

That's right.

[Danny Heiferson]

Yeah. No, it is. Okay.

[High Fitz]

That's right.

[Craig]

I wish my name had something like that, but it. It unfortunately doesn't.

[Danny Heiferson]

You guys want one more stupid Creo?

[High Fitz]

It's actually not bad.

[Danny Heiferson]

Kind of like CRO. Can I read you one more stupid email?

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Danny Heiferson]

You guys are making fun of my hiccups. And I think it's so funny that everyone has their stupid little hiccup.

[Craig]

I don't believe in any of them. I think they're all fake.

[Danny Heiferson]

There's no way that Justin. There's no way that hiccups are hiccups.

[Craig]

You just got to wait.

[High Fitz]

You have to wait.

[Craig]

Gotta wait.

[Danny Heiferson]

So Justin wrote. Everyone has their little stupid thing Justin's wrote was fill a glass with about 4 ounces or 6 ounces of water, put a paper towel over the top, chug as much as you can.

[High Fitz]

Glass drinking through the paper towels don't work.

[Danny Heiferson]

And I was like. But they're all like this.

[High Fitz]

They're meant to get you to spill on your.

[Craig]

You drink water upside down. Wasn't that one.

[Danny Heiferson]

I don't know which of These are just supposed to distract you and hoping the distraction works and which are just stupid. You told a friend and then, like, we're like, no, it's real.

[Craig]

I genuinely don't think there is a solution.

[High Fitz]

I have one that actually works.

[Danny Heiferson]

Can you eat? Most of you really know it does.

[High Fitz]

I mean, it works for me.

[Craig]

Okay, what is it?

[High Fitz]

It's eat a spoonful of sugar.

[Danny Heiferson]

Oh, wait, so this one's spoonful of peanut butter.

[High Fitz]

I don't know. Sure. Maybe that works.

[Craig]

Spoonful of sugar.

[High Fitz]

Yeah. Granulated sugar.

[Danny Heiferson]

Do you know why that works?

[Craig]

The medicine?

[High Fitz]

Something to do with the texture.

[Danny Heiferson]

I don't know.

[High Fitz]

You could do salt, but that'd be disgusting.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[High Fitz]

So that or sand, I guess.

[Craig]

Cinnamon challenge. Cinnamon.

[Danny Heiferson]

Cinnamon shall. Now you're coughing like.

[High Fitz]

Yeah, Go crazy.

[Craig]

Stop.

[High Fitz]

You stop breathing, and therefore your hiccups stop. But, yeah, the sugar thing works for me every single day.

[Craig]

I'm glad that I have grown. I've outgrown the era of my life when my. My friends would be like, should we do a cinnamon challenge tonight? Should we do something terrible?

[High Fitz]

Should we hit each other in the nuts?

[Craig]

Yeah.

[High Fitz]

Should we kick each other in the.

[Craig]

Not fun dude.

[Danny Heiferson]

By the way. Yeah. We're in contact with the Seahawks guy who's gonna get kicked in the nuts. But I still.

[High Fitz]

Did we figure out. Does he have to fly somewhere to go do this?

[Danny Heiferson]

I think they're gonna have to do it at their fantasy draft. Oh, no. I think it's gonna be the fan, but we'll see. I'm in contact with them. I gotta tell you, though, I still think. Yes. If you didn't seen it yet, yesterday's episode, I think the end of it, where we're talking about the guy getting hit in the taint. He's the happiest I've been in the show till today with rfk.

[High Fitz]

I was. I've ever been. Until we talked about rfk dude.

[Danny Heiferson]

Him like, I. I think it's my favorite sentence we've got ever been emailed is that my older cousin's brother heard a rumor that if you got punched

[Craig]

in the T shirt, You heard this rumor going around.

[High Fitz]

This is like the Marilyn Manson rumor that we all heard. Did you hear this rumor?

[Danny Heiferson]

It's so good.

[Craig]

What. What was the scientific name? Perineum.

[Danny Heiferson]

Perineum, sure. Get hit in the par. Punched in the perineum.

[Craig]

Punched.

[Danny Heiferson]

Peristalsis. My God.

[High Fitz]

If you get punched in the perineum, you'll shit yourself. Craig, are you looking it up?

[Craig]

No. Oh, yeah. I googled perineum what are you finding out?

[Danny Heiferson]

Why did you.

[Craig]

The small diamond shaped region located between the thighs.

[High Fitz]

Diamond.

[Danny Heiferson]

Diamond shaped.

[High Fitz]

Mine's on Cut Jam. Yeah.

[Danny Heiferson]

Back. Thank you, dk. Thank you, Craig. Thank you, Carlos. Thank you, everyone. Thank you, Cam. Thank you. I forget everybody here. Thank you, Austin. Thank you, everyone. M Bone over there. Thank you, everybody. Man. Thank you, everyone. Who made it to uncut gem in this one. This. This show.

[High Fitz]

How long did we.

[Danny Heiferson]

I had it too long. It was too long. God bless whoever tried to fix RFK's voice. You did your best. Thank you, Lord.

[Craig]

Lord.

[High Fitz]

Thank you. Fall Out Boy.

[Craig]

How come?

[High Fitz]

Yeah, I just thought of him.

[Craig]

Nice.

[Danny Heiferson]

Oh, all right, cool.

[Craig]

I feel like they're. They have a couple songs that are played on, like, sports broadcasts. What's their big like? And the NBA is cutting to commercials, so they play a Fall Out Boy song.

[Danny Heiferson]

Thanks for the memories.

[Craig]

Oh, yeah. Thanks for the memories.

[Danny Heiferson]

And sugar, we're going out swinging.

[High Fitz]

Oh, yeah. They were real big, I think, in the early 2000s.

[Craig]

Yeah, I'm familiar with them.

[Danny Heiferson]

What's this? What's this?

[Craig]

Madonna. Yeah, she was big in the 80s.

[High Fitz]

Was it like.

[Craig]

I know they are.

[High Fitz]

I wasn't trying to wow you with facts. Making conversation right now.

[Craig]

Chili Peppers, they were a big band in the 2000s.

[High Fitz]

Craig, hold on. I gotta tell you something. Fallout Boy.

[Craig]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they were.

[High Fitz]

They were big for a while there in the early 2000s.

[Craig]

Oh, I think centuries was played a lot, too, too.

[Danny Heiferson]

Yeah.

[High Fitz]

I can't believe that video.

[Craig]

Oh, yeah, the movie. Jurassic park movie made in the 90s. Yep. Where were you going with that? Sorry.

[High Fitz]

No, I wasn't going anywhere. Stalling. I was like, what? What could I find that's interesting.

[Danny Heiferson]

Stalling.

[Craig]

Waiting for iis to say thank you.

[Danny Heiferson]

Should I play the video again?

[High Fitz]

I'm terrified of dead air.

[Danny Heiferson]

Craig, hold on. I'm gonna play it again. Oh, no. Did I mute it like a boomer?

[High Fitz]

Come on. You push the button. Among the many that you described in your testimony in that context, in your testimony, his body is working.

[Danny Heiferson]

There's no way this is in Congress.

[High Fitz]

For treating and preventing chronic disease.

[Craig]

Also that chronic disease

[High Fitz]

health guy. Securing commitments from more than 50 medical schools to provide at least 40 hours of nutrition. I don't think I've ever seen anyone who sounds less healthy.

[Craig]

That's honestly probably in the world. Yeah. Ever.

[High Fitz]

Ever Nutrition taught in medical school. And now we are encouraging that to be off.

[Craig]

I can't hear it anymore.

[High Fitz]

Progress by securing additional commitments from medical schools. That's enough. We've had enough. So Craig. Anyway, Fallout Boy, it just cuts them.

[Craig]

He's wearing the apnea machine.

[High Fitz]

He's awake, staring at you like, what's the. God, what's the. The. It was original. The Mel Gibson movie from, from, like Lethal Weapon, from the apocalypse or whatever, where they all drive around in trucks. What's the movie called?

[Danny Heiferson]

Mad Max.

[High Fitz]

The original. You know, the Mad Max one where they all have like, Max.

[Craig]

It's, it's honestly RFK and Bane. The worst podcast ever.

[High Fitz]

Who can we find to produce this podcast?

[Craig]

Welcome to podcast. Producers. Just like this. I hate my job. I have the worst attorneys.

[Danny Heiferson]

Oh, goodbye. Everyone. Must be 21 plus and present in select states. For Kansas and affiliation with Kansas Star Casino or 18 plus and present in DC, Kentucky or Wyoming. Gambling problem. Call 1-800-GAMBLER or 1-800-MY RESET. Call 1-888-878-97777 or visit ccpg.org chat in Connecticut or visit MD gamblinghelp.org in Maryland. Hope is here. Visit gamblinghelplinema.org or call 800-327-5050 for 24. 7 support in Massachusetts or call 1-877-8-HOPE NY or text Hopeny in New York.

[High Fitz]

York.

[Danny Heiferson]

For Louisiana, call 1-877-770-7867. You can't reason with the sun. Trust us, we've tried. This summer, it's time to put that angry ball of fire on mute. Columbia's Omnishade technology is engineered to protect you from the sun's harsh rays that can burn and damage your skin. The sun is relentless, but so is our gear. Level up your summer at Columbia D to spend more time outside and less time slathering on aloe lotion. You're welcome, Columbia. Engineered for whatever.