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- [00:00]
A
Foreign welcome to the Ringer fantasy football Show. My name is Danny Hyperthal. Today I'm joined in person in Los Angeles. Different coast, different place. Joined by Danny Kelly and Craig Horlbeck. We are going to go through a bunch of stuff. We're going to go through sleepers. The keys two picking sleepers. We're gonna have Bill Simmons on. We're gonna decide the punishment.
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B
I'm so excited.
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A
We are deciding the ring of fantasy football.
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C
I'm so excited.
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A
For those who aren't aware, we're doing the ring of fantasy football live Fantasy football draft live on the Ringer Fantasy Football Show YouTube channel. Yeah. So go subscribe to the Ringer Fantasy Football Show YouTube channel. And on Monday at One Pacific, otherwise known as Four Eastern, Three Central, Two Mountain, One Pacific.
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B
What is that in London?
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A
Sorry, there's so many people. Whatever.
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B
Nine ahead or nine or ten or eight ahead.
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C
I don't know.
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A
We're gonna have our live draft with all the people, you know, at the ringer. We're gonna have a fantasy football draft. Bill's gonna come on this episode. We're gonna decide what the punishment is. We have an awesome idea and we're really excited to tell Bill about it. So that is later in this. But first we're gonna go through and just do sleepers and we're gonna give, frankly, the most sleepers, the most names we've ever gone through in a single episode, probably. So I'm actually very excited to go through. We're going to explain what we're doing, but first we're going to take a quick break.
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C
London is eight hours ahead, by the.
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B
Way, as I said.
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C
No, no, I'm confirming that you're correct.
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B
Step off.
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C
Settle down.
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B
Step off.
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A
All right, now we'll take a quick break. This episode of the Ringer Fantasy football show is presented by Hyundai. Get into the Hyundai getaway sales event and get away with a deal. So right. It almost feels wrong. You can get huge sales savings on their adventure ready SUV's like the Hyundai Santa Fe and Santa Fe hybrid models. Or go all electric and choose from America's most awarded EV lineup like the Breakthrough Ioniq 5 or Ioniq 6. Visit HyundaiUSA.com or call 562-314-4603 for details. Offers. End September 2, 2025. Okay, we're gonna go through and we're gonna pick our sleepers this year. We're gonna do it really, really fun way, which is, I think the key that we're going to focus on in this episode is as Craig, as you eloquently put it to us yesterday, picking the tight end, the 12th tight end off the board, and then finishing as the 10th tight end off the board is cool, but, like, it doesn't actually mean anything.
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C
It kind of win you your league to have a little bit of value at tight end.
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B
No, the point of a sleeper is to make an impact, a real impact. If you pick the wide receiver 45 and we tell you all the reasons why he's going to be great, and then he ends up finishing as the wide receiver 32, that's a good pick, great return on investment. It helped your team. It's not going to be a narrative, a narrative of why you won the season. You're not going to be texting, oh my God, can you believe I got whoever Demario Douglas, and he returned, you know, he finished 10 spots higher than I drafted him. That's a good pick. But we're not. We're looking for guys who can actually make a significant impact.
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C
The Bucky Irvings, the stories of the season, right?
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A
And you want to mix solid players who could have a solid return, David Montgomery, if you will, with these kinds of players. Because the players who win you, like last year, you won your league if you had a Bucky Irving, you know, you probably maybe picked up off waivers or drafted really late. You win your league if you have a Brian Thomas from the Jaguars who ends up as like a top 10 guy, who ends up being one of the best receivers in all fantasy during the fantasy playoffs, and you drafted him 10th. And so maybe you could get Saquon and like a Jonathan Taylor really early. And then you have Brian Thomas. So you end up with this elite roster and you actually have a better receiver down late than the people who took a receiver in the second round. Like, that's how it happens. So we're going to go through and we're going to basically talk about again, there's only really about 15 fantasy players that like truly matter during the season. Everyone else is kind of replaceable. And I do want to just stay on that topic for one moment. Scott Barrett at Fantasy Points had this great article. He talks about upside is everything. And one of the things he breaks down just to really hammer this in people's minds, the difference between like in points per game, between like the 10th best tight end and the 20th best tight end is very little. It's like a point and a half, two points a game. It depends on exactly the season, but. But the range between like the number 29 receiver and the number 41 receiver. Like, sometimes we over index on the ranking of that sounds like a lot. The number 30 and number 40 receiver. But in points per game, it's not right. Like, it's about the curve. Like, what's the actual difference and what you're leaving on the table? So we're going to go through and we're going to basically try to. Can we try to identify people that basically we feel like that we really like them at the cost of where you have to get them in drafts. Because these players have a chance to hit big. Some of them are big miss, big, hit. Some of them are small miss, big hit. But these are guys we think you might look back on and be like, wow, I won my league because of four or five picks. And this could be one of the four or five picks.
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B
Yeah. And they don't always. These guys don't necessarily have to be like, round 12 guys or later. I feel like Alvin Camara has a legit shot to be like the RB5 this year. He'll be included in this list because if that does happen, he'll be one of the reasons why you won your league.
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A
And so the other way we're going to do this is we're going to do it. If you've ever seen the Seinfeld episode where George tries to break up with. I didn't realize it was Anna Gunn from Breaking Bad. And he's like, we're breaking up. And she's like, nope, nope. It's like a nuclear submarine. You have to take on your key.
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C
I do not accept this.
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B
Yeah. Takes two to ten. Go turn your key, Mara.
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A
Turn your key. So we're gonna all do turn the keys on these sleepers. And I would suggest us. I think it has to be unanimous. Unanimous. But we're not gonna. It's not gonna be like, oh, dk, come on, turn the key. And you're like, fine, fuck it. No, you need to feel good. I always think of it as if a friend of yours was on the clock. Tick, tick, tick. And then they, like, look at your guide or whatever, and they, like, get the player. And you're like, oh, yeah, take that guy. Like, you want to feel good about it, and if you have to really, like, we can talk about it, but we're not going to. We can make the case, but we're not trying to necessarily change people's minds. We're just going to make the case.
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B
So we're going to leave today with, like, the ringer fantasy football show sleepers. That all three of us have decided on collectively for each player.
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A
And so we're also going to go through. And the other thing, because I really do think at this time of year, if you're listening to this show, you kind of want names, names, names, names, names, names. And so here's what we're going to do that's a little different than how we usually do it. If we all agree on a guy, we're not going to talk about him.
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C
Not go deep into it.
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A
Yeah. For example, just to pick a name, Buccaneers receiver Emeka Abuca, rookie. The Hansel so hot right now. Emeka Abuka. There were all these reasons we could go through about Abuka that we all love him. He's the most popular rookie receiver. Like, he's in Preston camp. We're all going to just turn the key on him and we're going to move on. And I think for everyone listening, it's a little different than how we usually do it. But the point is we are all just like turning the key. And yeah, you should take him at cost.
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C
So we're doing that right now. We're turning the key on a Buuka when we get.
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A
Yeah, yeah, like, but that's a good example. It's like, hey, I mecha Buuka. He should be on our list. Like, he should be a sleeper. He can win your league. Turnkey. And then we're going to move on. We're not going to. And here's the thing. If we do belabor the point on the guys we all unanimously agree on, this show's going to be like four hours. So we have to keep each other accountable. And I'm not waxing poetic about all these guys. So with that said, we're going to go position by position, vaguely in the order that we're from the beginning to the end of the draft, how highly they're ranked. Yeah. And to remind you, fantasy football.theater.com we have our rankings. We're going to have a big update for you guys coming right before. This is one of the biggest. Well, probably the biggest draft weekend of the entire year. Like, you know, the next two weekends. And so, yeah, we're going. That's all coming. So this episode is brought to you by Yahoo. Fantasy. It's my favorite time of the year. The NFL season is almost here and fantasy football season is in full swing. This season, Yahoo. Fantasy is taking it up a notch and giving you a fantasy football experience like never before. This year we're playing on Yahoo. Fantasy and you should too. We're doing the ringer fantasy football league on Yahoo. Fantasy because it's the best place to do the league. Yahoo Fantasy is dropping 28 big new features over 28 days throughout August. They just dropped Yahoo Fantasy guillotine leagues where the lowest scoring team gets eliminated weekly until one is left standing. Give this new mode a try or stick with the classics in private head to head leagues or public leagues. Stay tuned for more killer announcements and start playing Yahoo Fantasy football now@yahoo. Fantasy.com theringer so I want to start with running back and I actually want to do something I've never done but I however to this vein of you look back you're like oh, that's how I won my league. I've never had a first round player ever enter my mind but I would like to nominate Christian McCaffrey for the 49ers because Christian McCaffrey is probably the best fantasy football player of the last 15 years and you can get him like 8th or 10th and there's never, I don't know if there's ever been a value like that since I've been a professional of the best player since Ladanian Tomlinson might just be the 10th pick in the draft. And I understand I'm not going to you got everyone knows the deal like and my case is very simple. I turn the key on Christian McCaffrey and it's very simple. Yes, he could get hurt. Bilateral Achilles tendonitis. It's simply if he doesn't get hurt, I think he will be literally the number one player in fantasy football. And I'm turning my king Christian McCaffrey. You guys know the deal. You hesitate. Seems like that's the answer.
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C
Yeah, it's funny to consider this a sleeper. I think that's just where I'm kind of getting hung up.
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A
Right.
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B
But it's this new definition that we're applying to these types of players.
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C
The story of the season.
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A
It's hard to put Jakory, Crosby, Merritt and McCaffrey in the same conversation. But it's like if you got McCaffrey 10th and McCaffrey plays 17 games and is normal like two years ago.
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B
His ADP right now is seventh. My only pushback is if he was going in the second round I think I would wholeheartedly be like absolutely turn the key. But I'm like he's going like five spots later than he would have if he was healthy, which is not that far.
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A
But can I ask you a stupid question? What's the difference between getting him at the 9th pick or the 14th pick. Because, honestly, you get another player, there's a different player.
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B
You got ahead of him.
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A
This is why I ask, what's the player you get at nine that you can't necessarily get at 14? Because, well, again, you're kind of doing.
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B
That thing where his neighbors are Nico Collins. But, like, he keeps saying nine or ten. He's going like, seventh.
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A
Okay, fine.
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B
Fair.
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A
But I guess my point is, I was shocked, but I just did the oldest league I'm in. Nico Collins just went, like, 16th. I couldn't believe it.
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B
Yeah.
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A
You know what I mean? Like, some like. Like Nico Collins. You could also take him eighth. I'm like, the receivers at the back half of the first round are so flat that you take McCaffrey seventh, you might get the same guy. You would have. Like, it's.
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B
So when we hopped on, you were like, these are the players where if you recommend them to somebody, it doesn't work out. You won't feel bad about it. Right?
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A
Okay. All right.
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B
If McCaffrey. If you're like, yeah, McCaffrey's there at seven, do it.
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A
And then he turns his Achilles.
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B
Yeah. You're going to be like, I don't feel bad about telling you to do that. That made sense in my mind.
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A
All right. I think that the answer is, if we have to talk about it this long, it's not a turnkey. All right? He's not one of our guys. He's one of my guys.
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B
I'm willing to draft him, and I like him this year. Like, I think the upside is worth it, but for what this is.
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C
But you recognize the risk is pretty significant.
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A
Matthew Berry has a rule that's like, you can't win your first round. Your league in your first round. You can lo. And so I'm torn between.
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B
I think all the value's gone with him. I think.
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A
Yeah. On one hand. Well, if he plays, it's not. It's tempting the gods to be like, oh, I can win my league in the first round. But, yeah, all right. He's not a turnkey guy. Next guy here. Chase Brown for the Cincinnati Bengals. The running back. I turn key on Chase Brown.
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B
Yeah.
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C
I mean, I think I feel pretty confident. Yeah. I want all the Bengals.
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A
Honestly, everyone says he's going to have a Smash season. Okay, so this. We're not going to talk about Chase Brown and Unanimous. Chase Brown's unanimous. We think Chase Brown, if you can get him.
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B
We've talked about him. If you can get him in the third round, we think he could be.
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C
A first rounder and there's almost no competition.
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A
The only thing I was. So the league I'm doing, it's a slow draft. I was. Because it's like, you know, he's ranked to like 20th on a lot of platforms. Someone took him 14th. You still like that there? Like it was like their first pick of the second round or that's why he was like the third pick of the second round.
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B
Obviously, I think the value starts to diminish.
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A
I still like him. I just think he's going to be good.
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C
Yeah.
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A
But he's a turnkey for me.
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C
I think it'd be a top five.
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B
First part of the second round is now we're like. We're like at Nico Collins and Brian Thomas, which is like obviously that's stiffer competition. But I think like mid to late second round. Yeah, for sure.
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A
All right. Dk, you put. You sent. You guys sent me your list before and then I kind of organized them by position. But dk, you put down Josh Jacobs for the Packers.
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B
Yeah.
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A
Which we have no idea.
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C
I wanted to throw him out there because I feel like he's been one of the most under discussed guys, period on this podcast. I don't know if we've actually talked about him.
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B
One not.
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A
Well, we've never talked about him ever. I've never told.
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C
We haven't talked about him this season.
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A
I've never talked about this season.
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C
He was the RB8 last year. The offense was top 10 offense in terms of scoring. And that was with Jordan Love having a. I mean not disastrous, but a pretty tough season from the injury point of view and just getting back. The packers ended up, I think not reaching their potential because there were so many issues with the quarterback. I think this year they like a fully operational. Like that thing's fully operational. If they could get. If they can stay healthy. The packers and Jordan Love is healthy. I think it's going to create even more opportunities for Josh Jacobs. And again, he doesn't have hardly any true competition right now. Marshawn Lloyd, while he is flashed, he again hurt his hamstring. The hamstring has been really bugging him. I don't know if he can stay healthy this year. The backups, you know, there's a couple guys. Manuel Wilson, Chris Brooks. Am I getting that name right?
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A
Yeah.
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C
And I think it's just. It's going to be his show again on an offense that I think is going to score more points.
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A
That's a good case to me. That's why he's ranked in the second round. But I'm not turning my key as like I think Josh Jacobs will win your league.
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C
I think he did that one time.
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B
I agree with DK that. No, I agree with Heifetz. I think what's nice about Josh Jacobs is he's kind of like Mike Evans where he's like, he's the best floor play you can pick. He will deliver you a strong season. But I don't know if I think he has the chance to, to be the story.
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A
Jacobs is a stand up double compared.
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B
To where you have to take him, which is like early mid second round. I think there are guys going in the third, fourth, fifth that I think have an equal chance of being in the RB one.
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A
I think Jacobs is a double. He's not a home run. And it's just a matter of whether he's a top five running back or not. It's just, does he stay healthy in a year while the running backs get hurt? But I don't necessarily think of him as he's going to be a home run, but watch him be. I've been around before.
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B
Well, he's another. But it's like he's going like.
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A
But we're not. I think it's clear we're not turning cheap.
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C
He's not cheap.
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A
We're not turning key. Okay, next guy here. Otherwise it's going to be take forever. Chuba Hubbard for the Panthers. I'm telling you right now, I'm not turning my key on him. I think that he's same player, he's on base, but I don't, I'm not turning key on Chuba Hub.
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B
Who put him?
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C
I don't know.
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A
All right, moving on.
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C
All right.
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A
Marion Hampton for the Chargers.
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B
Yeah, I put him. Najee Harris has his eye injury. He might not play. Najee Harris's career might be significantly altered. I just think Omarion Hampton is a freak. And I think there's like, you know, the week one test we always talk about. There is a chance that like he gets 21 carries in week one and he just scored two touches. He looks like Jonathan Taylor and we're like, all right.
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A
I think, I think this guy's fantastic. Sometimes fantasy rankings are affected by just best ball average draft position, which is weighted depending on the platform of how many. It's sometimes it's like two weeks, sometimes it's like the last four months. If the Chargers had never signed Naji Harris, because it is kind of to me like he's not on the team, almost like unfortunately I feel bad, but, like, we might as well act like Najer's not.
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C
He's on a new team and he hasn't practiced. Practice with him.
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A
If a Marion Hampton had been drafted by the Chargers in the. The only people behind him were Hassan Haskins and Kimani Videl. Omarion Hampton would probably just. His ADP would have been as a top 20 player. And the fact you can get him later, I actually think is a quirk.
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B
Yeah, the Naji thing kind of set him low, and he's been. He's been like having to climb slowly. But I think people were anchored to the initial ranking of seeing where he was with Najee Harris on the team.
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A
I'm turning key on Hampton because there's risk with all the rookies, but Hampton is the. To your point, week one, like, literally, if he runs for 150 yards in week one, we're like, oh, yeah.
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B
Would you be surprised at the end of the season where, like, Omarion Hampton is one of the three or four best running backs in the NFL?
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A
No, I mean, turning key. You turning key?
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C
Absolutely. Okay.
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A
Turning key.
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C
I love this. And again, I'm actually surprised just looking at the fantasy pros ADP right now. He's RB15.
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B
He's on the fourth round.
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C
That's wild to me. Yeah, he. He is. I mean, yeah, like, on this team with that offensive line, with this coaching style with, you know, with Justin Herbert.
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B
I know the Greg Homan, Greg Roman, like, he always has two running backs thing. I'm like, yeah, they got Hassan Haskins.
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A
And we turn case. We. We get it.
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B
If it's like a none.
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A
I'm just saying.
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B
Slapping my wrist.
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A
I need a ruler.
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B
Jesus.
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A
Broncos running back R.J. harvey, the other.
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B
Yeah, baby. Hop on board. Come on. That's your arc. That's it. Come on.
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A
Come on.
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B
You want me to. You want me to hit you with some stats or. No, you know, hit me.
- [15:58]
A
Hit.
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C
I need the stats.
- [15:59]
B
Okay. Sean Payton.
- [16:00]
C
Butter me up a little bit.
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B
Sean Payton's teams have never ranked lower than six in running back target share. RJ Harvey is the fourth running back that Sean Payton has ever taken in the draft in the first two rounds. The others are Reggie Bush, Mark Ingram, and Alvin Camara. Reggie Bush and Alvin camara saw over 100 targets as rookies, which no running back of any age has done in either of the past two seasons.
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A
The thing when I hear that is I'm like, that Saints team had the best worst defense I've ever seen in the Broncos gonna have the best Defense at the NFL, that's my only thing I think about.
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B
Let me sprinkle a little more for you. Running back targets are actually completely on the way down. It's something we don't really think about anymore. It used to be guys like Matt Forte would, would just get 100 catches, and that was a part of the thing. Now this year or the last few years, running backs had the lowest targets here in any season. Since targets were tracked last year in 2024, they've had the fewest targets to running back since 2008. Last year, the running backs had the fewest catches since 2012. Last year, only one running back had 70 catches last year for the first time since 2010. So to me, that just means the guys who will catch passes are even more valuable. And sure, you can say the rookie, the J.K. dobbins, all that stuff. If you can just make a dart throw at the Sean Payton running back that has a chance to be like the only guy in the NFL to who has more than 70 catches this year, I think you have to take that risk.
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A
You didn't mention the number one, because here's the thing. My fear is that you're right about every single thing. My fear and my hesitancy is the thing. Everything you just said comes true. But just like year two or three.
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B
Yeah, that's hard because pass catching for.
- [17:20]
A
Rookie running backs is hard.
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B
Well, but my whole point was that looking at Reggie Bush and Alvin Kamaran, what they did as rookies, you.
- [17:26]
A
But you left. You forgot the. To me, the biggest argument for Harvey and the reason I will turn my key, the guy had him as J.K. dobbins. And J.K. dobbins has, I mean, he had a knee reconstruction five years ago and then he tore his Achilles. And I'm like, J.K. dobbins, he broke.
- [17:37]
B
Down the second half of last year.
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A
You could, you, I mean, you could just take J.K. dobbins like, and Harvey and then just wait for Dobbins to get hurt and then once Dobbs hurt, Harvey's going to play. So I, I, yeah, I understand. My king.
- [17:48]
B
I'm turning my king that it's probably more likely that obviously year two, he's a better shot of being great than year one. But I do think he's a real like second half of the year guy that starts to become one of the most important players on your team.
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A
Dk, I know you're not.
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C
I feel like I'm Denzel Washington and Crimson Tide right now.
- [18:01]
B
I'm just like trying to hold.
- [18:03]
C
Hold my ground.
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A
However you could say, no, you do not have. This is not your ship. What is it? Damn it.
- [18:09]
B
I don't know.
- [18:10]
A
It's cool, but I don't remember what it is.
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C
It is a great movie. That is.
- [18:13]
B
We did a rewatchables on it.
- [18:14]
A
That's a movie. Okay, next. Next.
- [18:16]
B
Wait, wait. He hasn't decided.
- [18:17]
C
He just decided. Yeah.
- [18:19]
A
For me, I feel like I've seen the movie. I kind of know what that goes.
- [18:23]
C
No, I know. I said I feel like that. I didn't say I made the decision.
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B
So if DK is even just thinking about it, that means no dude went Crimson Tide.
- [18:29]
A
He's like. You know, in Portugal, they got the horses make them dance. Just a matter of electrodes.
- [18:38]
C
They know.
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B
He's like.
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A
They shove a rod up their ass. Just a matter of voltage.
- [18:43]
C
I don't know what to do here because I think. I feel. I feel like it would go against everything I've said this preseason.
- [18:47]
B
Don't let us bully you.
- [18:48]
C
Even though I do like the value, I'm not going to turn my key.
- [18:51]
B
Okay.
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A
All right.
- [18:52]
B
Sucks.
- [18:53]
C
I do like him. I do like him. I liked him a lot before.
- [18:55]
A
I was relieved because I kind of like. I feel like I bitched out and turned my key. I don't really stand on. I just think Harvey. I'm just worried about Harvey going to be bad in, like, the first three weeks. And then you're like, you could trade for him for cheaper, like, two weeks in the season.
- [19:04]
C
I'm not saying don't draft him.
- [19:06]
B
The whole, like, you could just trade for him, to me is such an insane argument.
- [19:08]
A
That's so not, like, maybe not trade, but it just.
- [19:10]
B
You just go get him.
- [19:11]
C
Yeah.
- [19:12]
A
Instant regret. More. Maybe it's just more like three weeks in, you're going to be like, hold on. And you're like, I wonder maybe any Trayvon Henderson for the Patriots?
- [19:19]
B
The juice is astounding.
- [19:21]
A
I was going to turn my key, and then I'm.
- [19:23]
C
I'm. Without even saying anymore, I'm turning my key.
- [19:27]
A
My only issue is I feel like he. I feel like he's so. I feel like Trevin Henderson was a player you get in the sixth round 10 days ago.
- [19:35]
B
Yep.
- [19:35]
A
And now I feel like Travan Henderson is a player you have to take in the fourth round. I think, oh, my God.
- [19:40]
B
I think this year, more than any I can think of, rookies are being appropriately ranked. Guys like Buka, Matthew, Golden. None of these guys are like hidden gems anymore. Ted McMillan, they're all going kind of at their. Not their ceiling, but kind of towards it. So you're right, Heifetz, that like, yeah, he's the RB22 now, which is kind of like he probably would have been the RB38 five years ago. But it's like, you know, but he's right. He's right next to RJ Harvey.
- [20:06]
A
You know what, I'll turn my key in Henderson in like the same way we saw Bonix last year come in and he played a lot of football. He was good. Henderson, I just think played enough at Ohio State. And long term, maybe that's an ick for like a player to have a lot of touches in college. But in terms of producing immediately, there's a reason a guy like who didn't have that much experience, like a Trey Benson, I feel like he didn't have a ton of work in college. Right. I guess. I mean he did, but like Henderson.
- [20:25]
C
I know you're saying though, yeah, like.
- [20:26]
A
Henderson just is such an adult.
- [20:27]
B
And frankly, Henderson's rookie year, he had 1200. Freshman year in college he had 1200 yards and 15 touchdowns.
- [20:33]
A
Turning my key for the simple reason Travion Henderson is a new kind of player that frankly, because of nil, most players with Travian Henderson's skill set do not get the extra season at college that he did. So he has more experience and talent than most rookie running backs coming in. And so I do think he'll have a larger role. So I will turn Mikey and Traffick Anderson because I think he's awesome.
- [20:55]
B
The past protection stuff with him already sounds promising, which is a big deal.
- [20:59]
C
I think even if we're splitting hairs here, like he's more expensive now than he was a few weeks ago. If you look at some of the guys he's going around, there's a lot of question marks here. Cortland Sutton, Devontae Smith, Sam Laporta, Rasheed Rice, Xavier Worthy, Zay Flowers.
- [21:12]
B
Last week we did our rules to win your league. I think our first or second rule was draft the guys you like on.
- [21:18]
A
Good players and yeah, draft good players.
- [21:20]
B
Draft the guys you like us being like, well, I don't know if the value is quite there. It's like that is not how you learn the key.
- [21:26]
A
He's awesome. Tony Pollard for the Titans?
- [21:29]
B
Yeah.
- [21:29]
A
Boring player. Not exactly. Yes, formerly or exciting player.
- [21:32]
B
Which that's kind of my point is what Tony Pollard was two years ago was kind of like this Energizer Bunny, Lightning in a bottle. Holy shit. Broke his leg, went to the Titans was fine last year.
- [21:46]
C
He basically just didn't score enough touchdowns.
- [21:49]
B
Yeah, he ran for a thousand yards. The team was a mess. He was the RB22 last year. I'm kind of making the same case I'm making for Calvin Ridley for Tony Pollard. Last year, Tony Pollard finished the season as the RB22. This year he is being ranked as the RB24, which is. I understand rookies come in. There are guys like Genti and o' Marion that push you down a little bit. But. But the Tajie Spears competition, he's got a high ankle sprain. The guy's been injured a lot. You look at what Tennessee's starting to look like this offseason, Kim Ward seems to be like the real deal. I don't know if he'll pop immediately, but he seems to be like a real deal. The offensive line looks good. Yeah, Tony Pollard's going to be like the guy in this offense. The four games that Spears missed last year, Pollard averaged 100 rushing yards per game, which was the RB15. I do think that there is a chance he might fall into, like, he's a good pick, but he's not a story of the season pick. So I'm actually okay with that. I just kind of wanted to talk it out with you guys. I think he has a lot of juice.
- [22:40]
A
I agree with everything you're saying. I kind of wonder if Pollard is the best player I don't want on this list because I agree with everything.
- [22:47]
B
I don't know if he's like, I don't know if he could be Buffy Irving, but I think he could.
- [22:51]
A
Well, the flips. I think the argument is you just made it, which is, do you remember when we kept joking that Tony Pollard was like, the best player in the NFL like, three years ago? And now he says he's fully healthy and the line's like, way better and it's underrated, boring franchise with a quarterback upgrade, an offensive line upgrade, and a running back who says he's healthier because it's not the year after the year after anymore. And then the, like, it is a perfect storm. So I. You know what? I will turn my can, my can. Tony Pollard, I think he's a really good. I think he's a good value. But the one thing I'll say, maybe I'm talking about both sides of my mouth. I think he's a good example of a player that can fall. And I do want to get, like, later. I don't want to reach for Tony.
- [23:27]
B
Paul I don't even think we talked about him in a boring episode where.
- [23:30]
C
Can you guys think of any.
- [23:30]
B
It shouldn't be boring.
- [23:31]
A
Can you.
- [23:32]
C
Can you think of any running backs from last year who are big time difference makers on mediocre to bad offenses?
- [23:39]
A
That's a good point.
- [23:40]
C
Like big time difference.
- [23:41]
A
Yeah. You know dk, I don't. I'm unturning the keys for Pollard.
- [23:43]
C
I don't.
- [23:43]
A
He's.
- [23:44]
C
I like Pollard. Actually Craig, your arguments here have been really good. As like, I think he's a very. He could be a very good value.
- [23:50]
A
Yes.
- [23:51]
C
But in terms of a guy who's going to be one of the reasons he won your league, I'm not sure I can get there just because we don't know. I think it's too big of a leap for me to say that the Titans offense is going to be like.
- [24:02]
A
Awesome to DK's point. Pollard, I think is you win your league when you hit a Brian Thomas from last year and then your other ones are Tony Pollard where you're like you drafted him in the seventh round and if he could do it again he should have gone in the fifth. And he's the epitome of like he's going two rounds too.
- [24:17]
C
Unless he catches like 60 passes.
- [24:19]
B
I think it's more likely that he's just like becomes a great pick this year. Not a league winning pick but a great pick.
- [24:24]
A
Yes, I agree with that. But we're not turning. He's not a lead change. But we do like.
- [24:28]
C
Yeah, I'm like looking at running backs from last year like Alvin Camara, you could argue but he wasn't like a league winner.
- [24:33]
A
Oh fuck. I love Pollard though.
- [24:34]
B
I mean it's funny. We like Chuba Hubbard.
- [24:36]
A
Next one here. I just put all the Jaguars running backs together. It's Travis Etienne, Tank Bigsby and Bashel Tuton. I think we're all like, we're all on a different guy. I like Tank Bigsby, but I also like Tut.
- [24:46]
C
It seems like that should be immediately exclude this.
- [24:49]
A
Wait, we got to. Are we turn. Can we turn key right now that Tank Bigsby is the. Is going to be the lead running back in this backfield. Do we all feel that way?
- [24:55]
B
I do personally.
- [24:57]
A
Upside.
- [24:58]
C
I think he'll be the lead back. I don't know if he'll be the most valuable fantasy back in this backfield.
- [25:03]
B
What does that mean?
- [25:04]
C
He's not going to catch any passes.
- [25:06]
B
Okay, so you think it's.
- [25:07]
C
And maybe he won't score that many Touchdowns. Like, in other words, he might have the lead role, but the not as.
- [25:12]
A
Valuable role in terms of where he's going. I'm turning. Can Tank big speed? Because I think he's, he's. He's the best shot to be Bucky Irving this year.
- [25:18]
B
I think so, too. Can we, can we turn key on all of the Jaguars running backs?
- [25:24]
A
I'm not turning key on etn. I'm turning key on Tank and Bashaltutin.
- [25:27]
B
I think I would. I wouldn't turn key on all three.
- [25:29]
A
Bashel Tutin's Kirkland Brand Achan from his Achan's rookie year. Not saying he's that, but to me.
- [25:35]
B
What Liam Cohen did for the Bucks last year, what he did to Rashad White and Bucky Irving, what people don't realize is Bucky Irving took off last year total points per game. Bucky Irving last year, RB20, Rashad Wright, RB21. I don't. People would probably assume Rashad White didn't even play football last year, but to.
- [25:53]
A
Me, that's the epitome of what you said where it's like, I don't care that Rashad White finished RB20, but it doesn't matter. Like, if you had Rashad White's existing last year, the second of the season, like, you didn't play him.
- [26:01]
B
I guess what I'm saying is if I had to pick somebody to be Bucky Irvin, it's Tank Bigsby.
- [26:05]
A
Yes.
- [26:05]
B
Which is. I guess that is the exercise we're doing today. However, I'll just throw in outside of this exercise that I think Travis ETN has the chance to be kind of the Rashad White, like quietly just a top 20 running back. And both of them are good.
- [26:17]
A
Yeah. That's fair. They use a lot of two back things.
- [26:19]
C
I don't think I can turn my key on any of the Jags right now. I just, I, I like taking a shot on them, but I don't, I don't feel with like in my chest that they're going to.
- [26:30]
B
You don't think Tank has a shot to beat Bucky Irving this year?
- [26:33]
C
No.
- [26:34]
B
Okay.
- [26:35]
C
I don't. I mean, I don't think that we're not turning key. I don't feel it strongly. I'll put it that way.
- [26:39]
A
Here's a guy I'm mega turning key on, Zach Charbonnet for the Seahawks. I think he's the epitome of this exercise and I think he, to me clarifies the difference between what we've talked about. Zach Charbonnet is a guy that big, hit, small, miss. Zach Charbonnet is like a top 100 pick. You can get him if you're in 10 team league. It's the 10th round, 12. You can divide 100 by 12. Like, Zach Charbonnet is a later round, middle round, pick, whatever you want to call it. And if Ken Walker for the Seahawks stays and plays all the whole season, Zach Charbonnet is going to be like, flex. Play like you can play him. And if Ken Walker already has a foot injury again, misses anytime. I think Zach Charbonnet and his seok offense could be better. Zach Chardonnay is straight up, like, maybe a top seven, top eight running back, and I think he's a league winner.
- [27:16]
B
He basically was last year when Kenneth Walker missed that month. Charbonnet was a top 10 back.
- [27:20]
A
I. I think Charbonnet is a league winner.
- [27:21]
C
He's. Yeah, he has the expression is flex with benefits or whatever. Like, he could end up being a guy that you could start as a flex in games where Kenneth Walker is playing. But then the upside there, I. I'll turn the key.
- [27:32]
A
Turn key, turn key. And Zach Charbonnet, I love sharpening.
- [27:35]
C
I mean, he's looked outstanding. The Seahawks offensive line has looked so much better in the preseason. I know it's the preseason and things can definitely change and guys can get hurt, but I don't know. I'm starting to buy the Seahawks hype and, you know, especially in the run game.
- [27:46]
A
Charming clarifies this exercise weighed on a.
- [27:50]
C
Different, like, level stylistically than some of these other guys, because he's like, more of a contingent thing, but he has the opportunity. He might be the best handcuff in all of fantasy football right now.
- [28:00]
A
This guy we have to talk about for a second. Shakuri Crosby Merritt for Washington. I think we can all turn key, right? I mean, yeah. So, Dica, can you just give the basic one. Who the hell is Ja. Cory Cross Marriott, AKA Bill. He goes by Bill is the best. We need to give the Bill Cross. He's the. Yeah, he's. The biggest story that we haven't talked enough about is Bill Merritt.
- [28:19]
B
I think Bill Crosky merit.
- [28:21]
C
We haven't talked about it a lot because I. Throughout the last couple weeks, I've just been a little dubious that this is a real thing, but I'm no longer that way. I. I think it is a real thing. The Brian Robinson is basically getting traded.
- [28:32]
A
Or maybe even from the Commanders.
- [28:34]
C
From the Commanders.
- [28:35]
A
It seems like Bill Merritt beat Brian Robinson out there like him better.
- [28:37]
C
Robinson was excused from practice on Wednesday. Dan Quinn more or less. He didn't confirm, but he basically, you know, more or less confirmed. Read between the lines that they're looking to trade him. They're looking to go in a different direction. Robinson the last year of their deal. They're looking to get some value from him. Now I think on the trade market there are some teams that are calling. So it's looking pretty like Jakori Koski Merritt, AKA Bill.
- [29:02]
A
He goes. His family calls him Bill. Is a bit. It's. He's not. One part of his name is William or Bill or anything. Oh, his name's Jacori Crosky Merritt.
- [29:10]
C
It's like a nickname.
- [29:10]
A
There's so many syllables. They just kind of were like him, Bill. And it just stuck. It's a bit. It's literally a joke from. He was like 2 years old and he's calling Bill his, his, his college.
- [29:19]
C
Like timeline is very interesting. He started out as zero star recruit Alabama State.
- [29:23]
A
This is the, this is the least likely story I've ever heard for rookie starting running back ever.
- [29:28]
C
Right? Transferred to New Mexico after one year at Alabama State. Transferred to Arizona after one year there. He, he put up big numbers at New Mexico and then he flipped to Ole Miss. Only played one game last year because of NCAA eligibility issues. Something with like his number.
- [29:42]
A
It was a. This is not. It's like you see eligibility issues, you're like, oh, it's like he smoked Potter, Terrell Pryor, like the free tattoos, nothing like that. He gave. I forget the exact story, but he gave his number to someone else to play for a game because it was like a gesture of some kind. And then because his number had been used or something. Can't play this year because it was literally like a jersey swap or something.
- [30:05]
B
If somebody else is on the field with your number no longer so ridiculous.
- [30:09]
C
It's just some bureaucratic thing anyway.
- [30:11]
A
It was literally red tape paperwork. They're like, by the way, you can't play this year. So he just stayed on the team and he was like, it is again a zero star guy who then a paperwork issue. He did not play last year and then now goes so late so, so, so, so deep in the draft. And then now it's like he's beating out Brian Robinson for the starting job maybe in week one.
- [30:32]
C
We think he's looked very good in the preseason action. He's like got a lot of juice as a runner. He ran a 4, 4, 5. He got a 41 inch vert so obviously there's tons of explosiveness there. And the other thing is the team that just doesn't have a lot of competition, especially if Brandt Robinson gets traded. Chris Rodriguez, Jeremy. Jeremy McNichols. I think those guys.
- [30:49]
B
Austin Eccleston.
- [30:50]
A
Sorry, I found out this is worse.
- [30:52]
C
Change of pace.
- [30:52]
A
Yeah, this is Google Gemini. So I wish I'd found it before the show. But the story allegedly is not per Gemini, that basically when he was at Alabama State his freshman year, he red shirted and then he, like another guy in the team, I think, wanted the jersey for some, so he gave him the 21. So then technically they found out later when he was going to play that last year of eligibility, they were like, wait, like the red shirt played? I guess it did. Tied to the fucking jersey. Yeah. So they're like, well, your eligibility was used or whatever, like the number 21 played last year. So they're like, you don't actually have this year of eligibility. Like you are not on the team. Like, which is like the dumbest thing I've ever heard. But anyway, so it reminds me of something Howie Roseman said about just basically, do we believe this story or not? Harry Roseman, the Eagles gm, was talking about, like, you know, they're finding Jason Kelsey in the sixth round or whatever. And he's like, when you're on day three of the draft day, round six, round seven, it's like you should be looking for outliers. Like, if you're looking the typical way you look, There's a reason 32 teams passed on these guys six times. There should be one glaring thing about these guys that obviously is not a typical profile. That's why he fell like he was a good player. It's like, oh, well, he didn't play because of a clerical error. There's nothing wrong with the player. It's just weird to use a day one or day two pick on someone.
- [32:04]
C
Who didn't play like one game play.
- [32:06]
A
And so I. This is. I think it's legit now. Again, the secret's kind of out. I don't know how online your league is.
- [32:13]
C
The ADP hasn't changed enough yet to be where it's not.
- [32:16]
A
Yes, he's like a 12th round pick. That's where you're going to have to get him.
- [32:18]
B
Otherwise he'll reach the single best pick you can make. In fantasy right now. I would say he has the highest likelihood to be a major storyline this year in fantasy for where he's going.
- [32:27]
A
Drafts, we all turn key on Kroskimera if you wait for the actual number like to get him, he's not going to go last round before your defense. So many of your leagues are going to take him. You have to reach probably like and this is a real like how sharp is your league?
- [32:38]
B
If you're playing in like a work league or your family and everyone just kind of casually plays fantasy football, you can probably wait. But if you have a lot of diehards in your league, they'll know about them.
- [32:47]
A
The last thing I want to say is this is unknowable but the Texans, I think there's value in the Texans backfield. But like if Brian Robinson goes to Houston, I think that could actually like if he gets traded to Houston, we don't know he's going to go but keep an eye on where Brian Robinson goes. We're not going to do turnkey on Brian Robinson or whatever. But if he goes to Tennessee that's bad for Tony Ballard. If he goes to Houston, that's really good for Brian Robinson.
- [33:06]
B
So anyway, did you say why he was called Bill?
- [33:09]
A
I think it's just a joke.
- [33:10]
C
I think his family, it was a nickname when he was a kid.
- [33:12]
B
It's because it's based off the children show Little Bill for having a near bald hairstyle in his youth.
- [33:18]
A
Bill. So funny. Bill. Any other names are running back you guys want to turn key on?
- [33:26]
C
Nobody. I feel super, super confident about right now.
- [33:29]
A
Do you want to mention, I think the only Ollie Gordon of the Dolphins? Yeah, he's just a good slate sleeper.
- [33:34]
C
I mean I think he's just a late, a good late sleeper. Keep, keep your eye on him. You know the. Devon Achan is kind of hurt right now.
- [33:41]
B
I think you can still turn your key on somebody even if they're probably not going to do anything if they're going last in drafts.
- [33:46]
A
Exactly.
- [33:46]
C
You know the two guys I want to put in that category.
- [33:50]
A
This is your last pick before defense.
- [33:51]
C
Damian Pierce from the Texans. He has a thousand yard season on his resume and Joe Mix in this injury situation is really uncertain. There's a very strong chance that he's going to miss the beginning of the season if not longer. And Nick Chubb is the only other competition. Nick Chubb. Everything we've heard out of camp so far is that he just doesn't have any juice left.
- [34:09]
A
So it's got no juice.
- [34:10]
C
And I've heard good things about Damian Pierce from camp as well. He got another. He got a little bit of a late start as well just because he was I think getting over an injury but I don't know. He's to me is he's got a thousand yard season on his resume and he's going in the last round if not undrafted.
- [34:28]
B
Would you rather turn your key on Damian Pierce or Ollie Gordon?
- [34:32]
C
Damian Pierce, just because I've seen it happen in the NFL before.
- [34:37]
A
I'll turn my key with him on Pierce just again as the last pick.
- [34:42]
C
Yeah, cheap last pick.
- [34:43]
B
Sure.
- [34:43]
A
It's like he just might be a starter. See if they don't acquire Brian Robinson again.
- [34:47]
B
It's hard for me to be like no, the 16th round I respect down.
- [34:52]
A
All right, we're going to get to receiver but first football's almost here which means it's time to start thinking about how the season will end. That's why FanDuel created a whole new holiday Futures Day happening on Tuesday, August 26th. It's 24 hours of deals on your season long picks, a day when you decide who will win the division, take home the MVP or take the whole thing for one day only. All customers get an instant bonus on any football futures bets, plus flash deals every three hours that you won't want to miss. So mark your calendars because the greatest day in futures history is coming August 26th. What are you doing for Futures Day? Visit the FanDuel app to learn more and get your picks ready. FanDuel play. Your game must be 21 plus and present in select states or 18 plus and present in DC, Kentucky or Wyoming. Gambling problem? Call Winded Hunter gambler or visit rg-help.com call 1-888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org Chattinconenetic this episode is brought to you by Wayfair. Your home is more than a space. It's where you express yourself. Like, we've all got our setup for when the guys are over, right? So my thing when it, when, when everyone's just around watching a game, watching a movie, whatever is I, I go for. I want a corner couch. If it's a L shaped couch, I want the corner that to me is like I don't know if it's the alpha spot, but I'm like I. That's where I that's like the Nestle. That's the cozy. That's where I want to be. And if that's not available, any kind of like single chair. Like where I'm not on the couch. Like if it rocks. Unbelievable recliner. I'm in heaven recliner cup holder, full leg extension. Like that is the Dream because you can kind of get up whenever, but you're laying back. It's the best of every world. Like, that's the goal to me. So. However, whatever your vibe, Wayfair is every style for every home. They've got all your home essentials, storage solutions, decor and more all in one place. I use Wayfair. So Jackie and I, we got a rug. And I'm not going to lie, I realized that Big Lebowski, they were right, like the right room. The right rug really does bring the whole room together. It's so nice to walk on. I just. It's the nicest rug I've ever owned. And I didn't realize how much that would bring me joy. Maybe I'm just getting older in life, but I didn't realize that a really, really, really nice area rug just would bring me a ton of joy. But it does get inspired with room ideas and easy to shop collections, all with everyday ways to save. Shop everything home@wayfair.com with free and easy delivery straight to your door. That's W A Y F A I R.com Wayfair Every style, every home. The only other running back we didn't mention, we haven't mentioned all month. And I want to mention before we get to receivers, you know, we haven't talked about. We went through. Boring. Went through. This is Jordan Mason and the Vikings and I just want to throw him out for two seconds. He doesn't catch passes. But if Aaron Jones pulls his hamstring or tears his groin in week three and are we going to be like, how did we not talk about Jordan Mason on Minnesota?
- [37:26]
B
It is interesting. Jordan Mason was fantastic and a league winner last year for like a month, right? And then a team traded for him and they have an old. Gave him money running back gave him money and we haven't discussed and I.
- [37:37]
C
Think they're going to want to run the hell out of the ball.
- [37:39]
A
He's. He's a great value. I want to specifically platform rankings in particular. Sometimes, like the platform you play on totally depends whether a guy's good value or not. Not every player, but some guys. It's a huge deal. Jordan Mason, if you just open like the ESPN draft room like on Yahoo. Jordan Mason's 80th ESPN, he's like 130th. I think it's the biggest disparity of any player in the entire NFL this year. If you just again, the actual thing, you're looking at your draft room, I.
- [38:03]
B
Think that's probably because I Mean, this doesn't fully explain it but ESPN is ppr.
- [38:07]
A
Exactly.
- [38:07]
B
And so he doesn't.
- [38:08]
A
He's not going to catch and beyond still half. But I'm just saying Jordan Mason's like 75th on Yahoo. That's like, you know, a very early pick. And then on espn, if you're on an ESPN league in particular, Jordan Mason is a turnkey. Jordan Mason and espn, you can get Charbonnet and Jordan Mason and ESPN for so cheap. Like I actually this is maybe stupid but if you're in any ESPN league I would like plan a lot of my strategy about around reaching for Charbonnet and Jordan Mason both late because they're ranked really like too low. So I just wanted to shout out.
- [38:36]
C
Yeah, so we're adding Jordan Mason.
- [38:38]
A
Like I don't know if I would take Jordan Mason in Yahoo. But I would, I would like make sure to get Jordan Mason in Ace.
- [38:44]
B
One thing that's good about him. Same with Charbonnet. They're not famous at all. Like they are guys who will fall because people again, if you're in a more casual league, no one's even going to know who Jordan Mason is.
- [38:54]
A
Mason's 119th next to Jacori Krosky. Merritt on ESPN but he's like 77th on Yahoo. And then Charbonnet. Charbonnet is like 132nd on ESPN next to Jaden Blue Fidelis. I'm like, yes, especially with Kenneth Walker. So platform specific. Charbonnet and Mason and ESPN but Yahoo, they're ranked totally differently. Okay, let's get to receiver and again we'll try if we all agree on someone like again at cost, then we're like, we can move on. We all. You name us.
- [39:21]
B
Can I start, please? Want to talk about what are you doing on Futures Day? I'm betting Drake London 221 to lead the league in receiving TV turnkey.
- [39:28]
A
I agree.
- [39:29]
C
Yeah. I think the only, the only slight thing in the back of my mind is we just don't really know what Michael Penix is. But I think the upside is so strong.
- [39:40]
B
I'll tell you what we do know.
- [39:41]
C
He has true actually wide receiver one upside.
- [39:44]
B
He is the cheapest, least famous wide receiver that could be the number one guy this year.
- [39:47]
C
Right.
- [39:47]
B
And I would say what we do know is that he's going to throw the ball to fucking Drake London, Michael Penck.
- [39:50]
A
Yeah, 100% I. Drake London's a turnkey second round pick. You get Drake London, I think you're doing well. T. Higgins for the Bengals I feel.
- [40:01]
C
Strongly about T. Higgins. I feel like we have him ranked way too low.
- [40:05]
B
Okay.
- [40:05]
C
He's. He's the type of guy who.
- [40:07]
B
Wide receiver two last year.
- [40:08]
C
Yeah, last year he was. And I think in total points and wide receiver five or four in points.
- [40:13]
B
Per game for a month. But yeah, per game I think he was number two.
- [40:17]
C
Yeah, he averaged 15.5 points per game. Obviously the big hiccup is he only played 12 games. He out targeted Jamar Chase in the games that they played together.
- [40:24]
A
That's one of my favorite stats you've had all season.
- [40:26]
C
I mean, and it's obviously like Jamar Chase. I'm not saying don't draft Jamar Chase because Jamar Chase is more explosive. He's going to probably score more touchdowns and big plays is kind of Jamar Chase's thing. But T. Higgins, they're closer together than.
- [40:38]
B
People think when they're healthy and playing.
- [40:40]
C
Absolute trust of Joe Burrow. Also. Joe Burrow is kind of like Matt Stafford in the sense he's just going to feed his guys. It's. It's a, it's a concentrated passing game to Jamar Chase, T. Higgins. And if T. Higgins is out, it's Mike Kosicki. That's kind of like guys he passes.
- [40:55]
A
To T. Higgins passes that Mike Tomlin called him a goon, but he did it like the 90s Batman way, not the 2020 Zoomagoon. Meaning Google that if you want, but not at work. But then T. Higgins is also just. If you're running into football and you're like, I'm up 27. And like they have T. Higgins, you're like, oh, no. Like, you're like pucker factor. Still T. Higgins, anything feels possible. I'll turn key on T. Higgins.
- [41:15]
C
20 of 20 of turn T. Joe Burrow 20 of Joe Burrow's 43 passing touchdowns last year were inside the five yard line.
- [41:21]
A
Are we turning can.
- [41:22]
B
The only thing about him is he's never really healthy. He misses like a month every year.
- [41:25]
A
Are we turning key? Are we turning key or what?
- [41:28]
B
I'll turn key.
- [41:29]
A
I'm turning key.
- [41:29]
C
I am. Well, I am doing that Tyree kill.
- [41:31]
B
You guys gonna do it with me or not?
- [41:33]
C
No pussy to me. It's just, I think I'm just tired of the Tyree kill.
- [41:42]
A
I'm tired of it too. I. I think I am not going to deny for two seconds that Tyree kill could very easily be the best value in all fantasy. And here I am talking about Christian McCaffrey in round one, where it's like Tyree Kill. I mean, you could have taken him the first pick a couple years ago. Like.
- [41:55]
B
Like Tyree Kill, he was the number two pick in drafts last year. Now he's going at the end of the third round, and it's okay. Why?
- [42:00]
A
What happened?
- [42:00]
B
No, it's fine. If you think he's Tua. Missed half the season and Tyreek hurt his wrist before the season began. But if some. Look, he was slower last year. If you look at his metrics, he, like, wasn't as fast as he usually was. If you want to. If you want to jump on the. He's washed, he's going downhill. Speed, guys don't age well. That's all fine. But this guy's going at the end of the third round. I'm kind of like, who fucking cares?
- [42:20]
A
Is it bad that I almost would rather have. Like, he's picking up injuries, and I almost. Is it bad that I almost rather. I guess I'm going against everything I believe, but I'm like, you could take Jalen Waddle three rounds later and just. Or two rounds later and just. If Tyree Kills hurt, then Jalen Waddle just has the entire offense.
- [42:35]
B
I mean, counter. Tyree Kill was bad last year, and Waddle still sucked.
- [42:40]
A
Remember when I said, Tony Pollard is the best player? I won't turn my key on. I feel like it's Diary Kill.
- [42:44]
B
God, I. I unders. I understand. It is a. It is the definition of a risk. He's kind of a veal chop. He's like a chan, in a sense.
- [42:52]
A
You know what it is the whole damn office.
- [42:55]
B
It's going to be over. But if it's not over, I actually.
- [42:57]
A
Just figured it out. I. If football was played on spreadsheets, and if you're the kind of person. I'm going to totally weasel my way out of this. If you're the kind of person who just spreadsheet, you're like, I would like to win and accrue value. And I don't even watch my team necessarily, which is not a judgment. I play fantasy baseball that way. Barely. Barely. I have a good team, but I barely watch baseball. If you're that way, turnkey on Tyree Kill. Because what I don't like about Tyree Kill is, you know, I would say if you. I don't like anything I don't like. I don't like rooting for him, like, as. I just. There's another issue he had off the field this year, which I don't love.
- [43:32]
B
Fair.
- [43:32]
A
And then on Top of it.
- [43:33]
B
All right. You're gonna throw that at me?
- [43:34]
A
Fair? No, but, no, I'm just mentioning it. But the Dolphins offense also, I don't like watching Miami. Every time Tua gets hurt, I cringe.
- [43:41]
B
Yeah. Yeah.
- [43:41]
A
He's older, so, like, if you're going to watch the Dolphins, I just feel like the downside's really low, so I'm going to not turn my key on because I'm gonna be a. I guess I'm not trying to be a hot. I, I don't want to be a high horse until other people would not draft him. I'm not trying to moral high horse. I just, like, don't want him on my team, which sounds douchey.
- [44:01]
B
Did you feel that way last year? Like, are you deciding to take the mark?
- [44:05]
A
Yeah.
- [44:07]
B
His whole career, have you not had him?
- [44:08]
A
Well, if I'm gonna. Well, look, the Browns take shortcuts on character and still suck. If you're gonna do it, do it right. Like, get your money's worth. I'm like, I'm gonna deal with all this. And he sucks. I don't want to deal with that.
- [44:19]
C
I think for me, it's not that I don't think Tyreek Hill has upside.
- [44:22]
B
He definitely sanctimonious here. The year that he's like, oh, he might be slow, it's like, actually, I have a moral problem with this now.
- [44:29]
A
I know that stuff really bothers me.
- [44:31]
B
Yeah, he didn't hit 21 miles an hour last year. Never mind.
- [44:34]
C
I just think, to me, I'm not turning my key because there's, there's more ways it can go wrong than it can go right. I, I, There's a chance it will.
- [44:40]
A
Go right, but, ah, it's, it's tough because you know what? I will say this, the entire point of this exercise is what he's saying. Like, I, I got Tyreek Hill in third round, and Tyreek Hill, 1700 yards later, plays 17 games. I will say this is the whole point of the exact.
- [44:54]
C
But you're also burning a third rounder if he doesn't do well.
- [44:57]
B
Yeah, but, like, yeah, but okay, the.
- [44:59]
A
Other third rounders are the whole point of the exercise.
- [45:01]
B
The other third rounders are Breece Hall, Jackson Smith and Jigma James Cook, Garrett Wilson.
- [45:05]
A
I'm going to turn my key. I'm going to turn my key because.
- [45:07]
B
Are any of those guys sure things?
- [45:08]
A
This is the point of the exercise, which is Tyreek Hill.
- [45:11]
B
Is Jackson, Smith and Jigba gonna have 1800 yards this year?
- [45:14]
C
Probably Not.
- [45:15]
B
No. Could Tyreek.
- [45:16]
A
Yes.
- [45:17]
B
Realistically, I'm gonna turn. Literally did that the year before last.
- [45:20]
A
No. I'm gonna turn my key. That was a bunch of sanctimonious bullshit. I'll call myself out.
- [45:23]
C
All right, well, I'm gonna stay on.
- [45:25]
B
All right, well, it doesn't even matter.
- [45:26]
A
Thank God you're holding it down. All right, so then, Jalen Waddle, then.
- [45:29]
B
Here's the thing. Jalen Waddle is a good pick.
- [45:31]
A
We hate him.
- [45:32]
B
I hate him.
- [45:32]
A
Fuck that guy. Not turning my key.
- [45:34]
B
He might be the best pick in drafts right now because a chance. Hurt. Tyreek's hurt. Vibes of Tyreek are terrible. The vibes in my. The only John New Smith's gone. Like, it's just waddle.
- [45:43]
A
Yeah. Is it?
- [45:44]
B
But I don't want him.
- [45:45]
A
Yeah, I don't want him either. Yeah, No, I. I just don't.
- [45:48]
C
Yeah, I. I wanted. I just wanted to rile you guys up.
- [45:50]
A
Yeah, I get it. Well, it worked. All right. Tetuaroa McMillan for the Panthers. That Craig's kind of like, I don't care what his mother says.
- [45:57]
B
Every time you say that, it's because.
- [45:59]
A
I'm in the process of trying to not touch. Every time I tear. I'm trying not to butcher it. So I butcher it every time. Right.
- [46:06]
B
You must add a syllable.
- [46:07]
C
It's like, when you think about it.
- [46:09]
B
When you think too much about, like, it's tetaroa.
- [46:11]
A
It's a tetrao.
- [46:13]
C
Don't think about your farm. You're thinking too much.
- [46:14]
B
Tetuaroa is like saying croissant. Just say croissant.
- [46:18]
A
Oh, that's right.
- [46:19]
C
We're in America.
- [46:20]
A
That is a good Barcelona. Went to Ibiza. Yeah. I guess I shouldn't try to do the Hawaiians.
- [46:26]
B
I love tat. He's one of my favorite players this year. I think he could just immediately be, like, top 10 in targets.
- [46:32]
C
I'm turning it.
- [46:33]
B
I think he's really talented.
- [46:34]
A
Turnkey. All right. Turnkey. He's awesome. I. We all.
- [46:37]
C
And I also, apart from my life.
- [46:39]
B
I'll go down with that. If he doesn't.
- [46:40]
A
If it doesn't work, turn the key. He's. He's. He's legit. He's going to be legit.
- [46:44]
C
Yeah.
- [46:44]
A
George Pickens, Count.
- [46:45]
B
I'm in.
- [46:47]
C
Yes. George Pickens is the more fun version of Tyreek Hill. It could go wrong. It could go very wrong. But if it goes right, boy, oh, boy.
- [46:56]
B
Oh, yeah.
- [46:57]
C
It's going to be a lot of fun. I mean, and I Think the Broncos are. Sorry, The Broncos. The Cowboys are going to throw for a ton of yards. I trust Dak Prescott to feed his two big targets in CD Lamb and George Pickens. The vibes have been outstanding in training camp and during the whole off season.
- [47:12]
B
Well, Micah Parsons.
- [47:13]
A
What the fuck are you talking about?
- [47:16]
C
Talking about fucking Pickens.
- [47:17]
A
Oh, I feel like. What do you fucking think I'm talking about, Dallas? Sorry. I was like.
- [47:21]
C
I was like, everything I've heard about Pickens has been great.
- [47:25]
A
Okay, good.
- [47:26]
C
He's like lighting it up.
- [47:27]
B
Yeah, he's. He's very good.
- [47:29]
C
He is crazy complimentary.
- [47:31]
B
Yes. A night out with Pickens could be great. Maybe a 10 year relationship. I'm not so sure.
- [47:40]
C
I'm not so sure. I'm not so sure.
- [47:43]
B
I don't know. I just. This could certainly go wrong. Like, I. I still think there's an underrated factor of like, CD Lamb gets 15 targets a game. Pickens is pissed. He has no touchdowns for the first three weeks of the season. And he's like, bitching to the media and it goes poorly. He doesn't have a contract yet. So I do think it could kind of get dicey.
- [47:59]
A
But the upside is really, I have to say, I. It's easy. If it goes wrong, it's like, wow, I can't believe Mike Tomlin gave up on everything. Like, I can. We could record this segment after the season right now of the. We're going to record a tattoo for next year. Like, Mike Tom gives up on a receiver. Like, never. Literally draft them. Ever. However, Pickens is unlike those other guys because I think they wanted Russ back and they. Or what they wanted Metcalf. Like, they were like, we're not going to pay George. We're not going to pay George. He's crazy. But to me, there's a difference between. Can I say that on. I could say he's. I don't care. But like, the. There's a difference between. We're not going to give him.
- [48:35]
B
Like, he's a knucklehead.
- [48:36]
A
Yeah, he's a knucklehead. And we're not going to give him $100 million. So we're going to just trade him and get Metcalf in. Like, that's fine. Yeah, there's a difference. But however, in fantasy with. It's this simple. To me, all. How many times have we joked if all the times George Pickens caught a ball out of bounds, it was inbounds, he'd be like Jerry Rice. I just think that's actually Kind of. Some of this because the quarterbacks suck. And like, Dak, everyone's happier when the quarterback's better. I'm going to turn key on Pickens for sure.
- [49:02]
B
I'm turning the key as well. Down and watch a football game. That George Pickens, they're like, that guy must be the best.
- [49:08]
A
Pickens. Craig nailed it at the live show. Pickens is the. Is the Kirkland brand. T. Higgins, if you're like, I don't want T. Higgins, 26. Like, I'd rather have Kyron Williams. I'd rather take a quarterback. Whatever. Pickens is the guy where you're like, dallas also has a bad defense, might throw the ball 600 times. And Dak Prescott and. Sorry, Ceedee Lamb and George Pickens are both top 10 receivers on volume. That Pickens is. This is what this exercise is for. Like, it's so easy for me to see all that happening. Like, it's been so long since Dallas had a competent number two, it's almost hard to remember. Right.
- [49:36]
C
But, like, turnkey.
- [49:38]
A
Calvin Ridley for the Titans, I think. Turnkey, right. We've talked about.
- [49:40]
B
We've talked about him a lot.
- [49:42]
A
Yeah.
- [49:42]
B
If Kim Ward sucks, he's a solid pick. If Cam Ward's great, he's an amazing.
- [49:45]
A
We all turn key. And I think that you put it best. Calvin Ridley's priced like Will Levis is still the quarterback in Tennessee. He's not. This is his floor. Calvin Ridley has all ceiling above him.
- [49:54]
C
The quarterback upgrade here has potential to be massive.
- [49:57]
A
So that's quarterback alignment.
- [49:58]
C
That's why I'm buying also. Basically no competition.
- [50:01]
B
Yeah.
- [50:01]
C
For. For targets.
- [50:02]
A
All right. Travis Hunter, Receiver, cornerback for the Jaguars.
- [50:06]
B
Can I just. I know you're obviously turning the key. I kind of only want to turn the key because I don't want to miss the boat. Like, I don't want to be the guy who was like, you don't want to have fomo. Can't do it.
- [50:15]
C
Yeah, but I.
- [50:17]
B
But I don't know. I'm not that confident. I'm just, like. I'm just dubious. You don't get double the points because he plays defense. So, you know, it's just double the risk but not double the points. You. You go.
- [50:28]
C
If it's his. He. Look at him. You go, he's getting tense right now. He's putting his computer aside so he can fight.
- [50:34]
B
Part of me thinks that he'll just be better than Brian Thomas, and Brian Thomas could potentially, like, have a terrible season because Travis Hunter's that good. I Do think that's in play. And I do think about that. And then the other side of me is like, he's playing defense. What the fuck are we doing? I also think.
- [50:50]
C
I think I want to turn the key on Hunter. I think I do. Even though I don't think he's not.
- [50:54]
B
Going to play defense that much.
- [50:55]
C
Right.
- [50:56]
B
Because he's going to be so good on offense. They're going to be like, I think.
- [50:58]
C
I'm turning the key on third downs. Not because I'm physically high. Fitz is trying to physically intimidate me right now.
- [51:04]
B
You are or not?
- [51:05]
C
I am. No, I'm not. I'm not in on him because Heifetz is trying to intimidate me. I'm in on him because I believe in the talent. I think it's going to be a concentrated passing game with him and Brian Thomas.
- [51:16]
B
Yeah, I'm going to do it, too.
- [51:19]
A
I'm not turning the key.
- [51:20]
C
Come on.
- [51:21]
A
You brought this up.
- [51:23]
B
Yeah. Why? He's on this list.
- [51:25]
A
He is. I brought it up because. I brought it up because of an announcement.
- [51:29]
C
This is bullshit.
- [51:31]
A
I was going to mention this in the take purge.
- [51:32]
B
Fuck. You should have saved it. That's so good.
- [51:34]
A
I didn't save it because people are drafting and I feel like a fiduciary responsibility if everything said every year there's always something I'm cataclysmically wrong about.
- [51:41]
B
Yeah, but now that you're getting ahead of it.
- [51:43]
A
Joe Burrow. No, no, no, no. Joe Burrow last year. And I was like, worried about the wrist, which was the thing, but he just got over it. Joe Burr himself wasn't sure entering the season. However, Josh Jacobs, Mike Davis, there's always.
- [51:54]
B
A thing because you prematurely said it was you thinking the Saints were going to be. That was just not it. And then DK Wisely was like, the answer is your love of Travis Hunter.
- [52:01]
C
Right.
- [52:02]
A
He's all, travis Hunter is the thing I care the most about. Travis Hunter is the thing I'm wrong about. Can't believe this fucker got us both.
- [52:09]
C
To turn the key.
- [52:10]
B
But, like, are you. I feel like you'. You're just hedging your bet because you don't want to be wrong for.
- [52:14]
A
There's two different things. I think for fantasy. For fantasy purposes, I think the splitting the time might matter. I mean, for fantasy, you can draft him, but I'm saying I don't. I'm a little dubious that he's going to be able to do as a rookie.
- [52:28]
B
I know what a cock move out of this.
- [52:30]
A
But here's the thing I realized, here's what I didn't occur to me. Snap, snap, snap, snap, snap. Here's where I realized, because I do think part of the Travis Hunter experience is being like, this guy could be Ohtani. How many times I said this year he could be like, Ohtani, yeah. And you could just have not been part of that. And you could have like, why? How many chances do you ever get in your whole life to do that? Here's what I realized, I guess every year. Well, here's what I realized. I think I watched the preseason game with the Steelers and Jaguars and Travis Hunter played the first team offense, he played second team defense. And you know what? The one scenario none of us actually talked about was, what if Travis Hunter plays and then he plays the pre. He got two. Check third and seven, he caught like a six yard pass. Third and four, he got like two yard pass. And I play. And I realized in that moment, none of us have actually considered what if Travis Hunter plays both ways. Offense, defense and the Jaguars defense sucks and the Jaguars offense is fine. And it's actually totally forgettable and almost weird that he's playing both ways because neither unit itself is actually remarkable. And it's actually a completely forgettable experience. And it's nothing of a transformative sort, I think, at all. Because, you know, he's not a fucking starting pitcher. He's a cornerback.
- [53:37]
C
Right?
- [53:37]
A
Like, if the defense sucks, who fucking cares? And I realized that's what's going to happen. He's going to play both ways and no one's going to give a shit.
- [53:45]
B
I mean, that was kind of my initial read when they drafted him. Second when they traded up for him.
- [53:50]
A
And I was going to say this for the Take Purge, but I'm doing it now because I've talked about so much and I'm just saying you can still take them. Everything I said, I still feel a little bit, but I just wanted to. I think I'm. Perhaps I was the only person talking about all this and I was wrong.
- [54:02]
B
It's a cooler real life story than a fantasy one.
- [54:04]
A
Yeah. So there you go. I watched him play defensive. But yeah, this is probably a weird thing to bet on. There you go. That's my announcement.
- [54:10]
C
All right, I'm gonna throw a name out here.
- [54:13]
A
And you guys are actually disappointed in me. Wow.
- [54:17]
B
I do think this is kind of a beta move by you.
- [54:21]
A
I probably.
- [54:23]
B
I think it is.
- [54:23]
A
Well, no, to be clear.
- [54:28]
B
Half of.
- [54:28]
C
The fun of being Heifetzes being spectacularly wrong.
- [54:30]
B
Close the deal, man.
- [54:32]
A
I watched the preseason game. To be clear. I want you to know it's not like I got SC watched the preseason game and I got the ick. I was like. I was like. I was like the kicker. So much more interesting than this experience in college.
- [54:43]
B
Like, what, you didn't get the ick then?
- [54:44]
A
No, he was. He was the most fun college player I've ever seen as adult.
- [54:49]
B
Were you expecting him to have a pick six and a 60 yard touchdown in the preset?
- [54:52]
A
No, I just watched it. I was like, this is like, this is thoroughly unremarkable. Like, literally. I was like, I have nothing to say about this. It makes me feel.
- [54:58]
B
That's kind of confusing to me. I don't even really know what that means. You watch him play offensive defense for like a series. It just wasn't as cool as I.
- [55:04]
A
Thought it would be. Cool as I thought it would be.
- [55:08]
C
He's a fickle beast.
- [55:09]
B
Yeah. Okay. I wish you closed the deal and doubled down. That's the highest move.
- [55:14]
A
Yeah.
- [55:15]
B
He's going to be awesome now. And then we're going to say you got out at the last second.
- [55:19]
A
My, my, my gift incur. God, honestly. Yeah, that probably is what I did. I just sold low. Yeah.
- [55:27]
B
Oh, that's really funny.
- [55:28]
A
Brutal. Roma dun for the Bears.
- [55:31]
C
I think I'm going to take this out.
- [55:33]
A
I'm not turning the game.
- [55:33]
C
I'm actually. I changed my mind on this, but I do want to throw out a different name right now. I want to throw out Jordan Addison for the Vikings. I'm starting to get some conviction on him over the last like two weeks.
- [55:44]
B
Okay.
- [55:45]
C
He's going to be suspended for three games. The three games at the beginning of the year. The easiest to kind of weather that storm. No buy weeks.
- [55:52]
A
You can.
- [55:52]
C
You can plug in a different guy.
- [55:53]
B
Sure.
- [55:54]
C
I think he's one of the. He could be one of the best ads early on in the season because. Or, sorry, where he's going in drafts because this is like kind of the opposite of five. It's like I watched one series with him with JJ McCarthy and McCarthy just fed him and he looked awesome and he was playing all over the field. He's always got. He's also obviously got a history of scoring a lot of touchdowns in this offense. This. The, the question here is, what if J.J. mcCarthy is just as good as Sam Darnold was last year? And I think there's a world in which that is very possible. I think I, I believe that could happen and Addison to me, feels like an amazing value. Jj Sorry. Justin Jefferson already has a hamstring injury. Obviously that's kind of. I don't think it's serious, but it is bleeding into the deep part of the preseason. If Addison is the number one receiver on this team, I think he could go absolutely nuclear. I'm not expecting it to happen, but I think he's a great sleeper. Where he's going.
- [56:51]
A
You know what? He is kind of like the Devonte Smith where it's like DeVontae Smith's all right to start, but like if A.J. brown's out, Devonte Smith's a top 10 receiver. Addison does not have have that in him. I.
- [57:00]
B
No, I'm not turning my key.
- [57:01]
C
It's fair enough. I just wanted to get that out there.
- [57:04]
A
It's an interesting one. I like that DK more than I thought.
- [57:07]
B
I think the difference is, I mean, yeah, if Justin Jefferson plays the whole season, I think it's kind of you just immediately throw this out, which sucks.
- [57:14]
A
Right?
- [57:15]
B
They basically. Jordan Addison last year played 15 games. He was a wide receiver. 22, 21. So it's like, all right, that's kind of like what he's capable of.
- [57:22]
C
He's going right now as the wide receiver. 37.
- [57:24]
B
Yeah. But the whole point of this exercise is like, is he going to be a story of the season?
- [57:28]
C
And sure, I don't think he will win your pass.
- [57:32]
B
If Justin Jefferson plays, he will not be a story of the season.
- [57:35]
A
Yeah. Yeah.
- [57:36]
B
So that's one thing.
- [57:37]
A
That's a good. He's a Tony Pollard. He's a good value.
- [57:39]
B
The devonte Smith thing, it's like, well, he's on base. I trust Philly more. I trust Jalen Hurts more. I trust the ecosystem more. I don't know about J.G.
- [57:44]
A
Morgan. I think Craig's right that it's closer to Tony Pollard where if you draft Addison, what you're describing is he's value.
- [57:50]
B
Yes. But he's not going to be Brian Thomas.
- [57:52]
C
I think you're right. He doesn't pass the bar. I just wanted to throw that out.
- [57:55]
A
However, I will say this. Reckless Jordan Anderson. I wanted to say this, what we're talking about of like, I think these guys could be you look back.
- [58:01]
B
I'll be my fantasy team name whoever drafts. I already took it.
- [58:03]
A
He took it.
- [58:05]
B
I'm wet reckless in the ringer league.
- [58:07]
C
Yeah.
- [58:07]
A
I already named my team. That I don't.
- [58:09]
B
I feel like you have to wait to have Jordan Addison to do that. That I don't like that.
- [58:14]
A
No, fuck that.
- [58:16]
B
Do you believe in making, like, team name puns even if you. Or player puns if you don't have the player on your team?
- [58:20]
A
I just thought reckless was funny. It was the day we made the league and I. I made it. I just. I. I guess I don't. I don't usually like that. I don't usually do that. But it was the same day, and I was just like. It was funny.
- [58:32]
B
Okay.
- [58:34]
C
I did see that. You made that name and I thought it was funny.
- [58:36]
A
Maybe I should drop the charge. I. To. To the point, though, you look back. This is the reason you won the league. If I could, like, draft, who are the three picks I would make? Like, who could be Brian Thomas next year? It's. We're about to talk about three of them. Turn one A Mecca Buka for the Buccaneers. Turnkey. Turned it like, like, unanimous.
- [58:56]
C
Just a stud.
- [58:57]
B
Yep.
- [58:57]
A
Ricky parasol for the 49ers. Key 100. I. Yes, I actually think I would consider Ricky Parasol as, like, my number one guy of where he's being drafted, which I think you can take him. I mean, yahoo has him ranked in the, like, the 70s. You could take him there if you want some players. He falls way, way further. But I. Ricky Parasol, to me, is the epitome of the upside, is. Yeah, he's just. Despite all the names at the top of the board, round one, round two, Ricky Pearsall ends up at top 10 receiver.
- [59:26]
C
He's going.
- [59:27]
B
So.
- [59:27]
C
He's going so cheap, too.
- [59:29]
A
So the question becomes Juwan Jennings, because it almost becomes. Do you think he's healthy or not?
- [59:34]
B
Yeah. Is this calf injury a ruse to get a contract?
- [59:38]
C
I don't love that he's missed so much time.
- [59:39]
A
He's missed a lot of time, which is why I'm more confident in Parasol. I think Jennings, it's as simple as if he falls because he has the questionable. But that to me, is. He's the return value guy. Parasol is the explosion potential. And I don't know if Jennings. Well, I guess he does have the explosion potential.
- [59:53]
B
No, that's fair. Jennings is probably the safer bet. Return on investment, all that good stuff. Because I think he's very good.
- [59:59]
A
I want to turn key on both these guys just because I'm like. Like, the 49ers are the most obvious team to bet on this year with the easy schedule with coach. The coaching's really good. I just, man, I just.
- [60:10]
B
I think Pearsall has a higher ceiling than Jennings. So I don't I don't know if Jennings qualifies exactly, but, like, if we want to just generally say, turn the key for the Niners, that's fine. I agree. No Debo, no iuk for a while, it's going to be these two guys.
- [60:21]
A
I'm turning key for Pearsall.
- [60:22]
B
Yeah, definitely Pearsall.
- [60:23]
A
Okay. Jennings. I think the answer is no because we're waffling, which is the whole point.
- [60:28]
B
Yeah. But still a great pick.
- [60:29]
A
You should, like, it's as simple as this. If you drafted Pearsall in, like, I don't know, round eight, you're like, fuck, yes. Jennings, you're like a golf club.
- [60:37]
B
Yeah.
- [60:37]
A
And, yeah, the next guy for me, Matthew Golden, Green Bay Packers Turkey. I think. I think I'm all in.
- [60:43]
C
I'm in the next two guys.
- [60:44]
A
Book of Golden Parasol. Those are like, I think for the receiver. Those are my three guys. Like, I think they're going to change your season.
- [60:50]
B
If you start your draft with, like, running backs and tight ends and quarterbacks and you need to kind of gobble up a lot of receivers, those three are great. I want to throw out, too, now that Daniel Jones is a starter in Indianapolis. And I think that requires some changes to be made in how we rank the Colts receivers. Michael Pittman and Josh Downs. I want to talk about both of them. Last year, Michael Pittman, like, broke his back, didn't miss any games. Insane. Wasn't good. Josh Downs, I mean, you can just like, throw everything out when Anthony Richardson is playing because, like, every game is just so volatile and chaotic. The year before, with Gardner Minshew, quarterback in the Colts for the majority of the season. I don't know, man. Michael Pittman had 109 catches. And I'm like, Daniel Jones just gave 100 catches to Wanda Robinson. And maybe it's not Michael Pittman will be a league winner story of the season. But I think he could be, like, a really significant return on investment if they're just running RPOs and hitting Michael Pittman over and over for 10 times a week.
- [61:41]
A
I agree with everything you're saying.
- [61:42]
B
He's just going so late.
- [61:43]
A
I'm not turning my key. But I think you're right. And you know why? He's platform specific. When you open your ESPN draft window, Michael Pittman is ranked 77th. When you open it on Yahoo, Michael Pittman is 115th. So I think it's as simple as this. To me, I don't know if I want espn. Michael Pittman, I think he's Eh, it could work. Yahoo. I think he's one of the easiest targets there is on Yahoo.
- [62:04]
B
He might be the most boring, like wet noodle pants. We have not talked about him at all.
- [62:08]
A
Michael Pittman on Yahoo. Is, you could convince me the single best value because you're like, he was. Yeah, he was the 34th pick last year. Whatever. 35th pick in drafts. He's 150th on Yahoo. That doesn't make any sense.
- [62:19]
B
Yeah. Kind of reach a point in the offseason. Like once you get around August 20, once the second preseason game goes by, the rankings just kind of stop. They're just kind of frozen forever, no matter what happens. And this Anthony Richardson news is a big deal for the pass catchers. And he's just kind of still where he was with Anthony.
- [62:33]
A
I just like our Matt Harmon, who is. We. We love Matt Harmon. We've. We've had. We, you know, we've been to bars with Matt. He's awesome. Matt Harmon's low on Michael Pippin.
- [62:42]
B
I know Matt.
- [62:43]
A
I was trying.
- [62:43]
B
Matt likes us.
- [62:44]
C
That was like a very.
- [62:45]
B
We are friends with him.
- [62:45]
C
Passive voice way of trying to. He's our friend. I was into bars.
- [62:49]
A
I almost. I was trying to think if it was like, weird to be specific, and so I just went with that and sounded weirder. Yeah, I mean, I've seen Matt.
- [62:58]
B
Are you implying that. That Matt is telling us things that he doesn't say on his podcast about Michael Pittman?
- [63:03]
A
No, I'm saying he hasn't really ranked really low. And I agree with him on everything. And I think he's just wrong about.
- [63:07]
C
Oh, but he also loves Josh Downs.
- [63:10]
A
He loves Josh Downs. And I just, like, I just think he's being a hipster about it. I generally speak. I love Matt's rankings.
- [63:15]
B
Antonio Brown, and nobody knows it yet.
- [63:17]
C
Which maybe he is. I think the reason I'm not going to turn my key on this is because I don't believe in Daniel Jones. However, I think these are great values. I like these picks fair.
- [63:27]
B
Maybe Michael Pittman won't be a. Pittman's.
- [63:29]
A
A Tony winning player, but he's a good. He's a great guy.
- [63:31]
B
He's a great pick.
- [63:32]
C
Yeah, I think Josh Downs as well.
- [63:34]
A
Pittman's a Yahoo pick, and if you want Downs, downs is an ESPN pick because Downs is 110th there. But on Yahoo, he's throwing at the same thing. Pittman. Okay. Luther Burton, Bears.
- [63:44]
B
Come on, baby. He's so good.
- [63:47]
A
He's really good.
- [63:48]
B
He's basically Going undrafted. He's going like 100.
- [63:49]
A
I'll turn key because he's free and he was like the 40th pick in the draft or whatever. And just five star recruit and just close your eyes. Second round draft picks. Hold him for the first half of the season and see if he gets his shit together. Like turnkey. Because this is someone that frankly other people in your league probably aren't going to.
- [64:06]
C
Zacchaeus is the biggest red herring of this off season. Okay, you know, yeah, I'm gonna turn my key on. You know how we always have this? Every year was like the year it was. Justin Jefferson was a rookie, he was playing behind. I can't even remember now. Some random guy. Do you remember this? And. And everyone was like worried about the depth chart. He wasn't playing in the first two games.
- [64:26]
A
It doesn't matter.
- [64:26]
C
And then he had what, like 13 hours?
- [64:29]
A
Something like Luther Burton. He might not earn it immediately, but he's the epitome of like, you know who else didn't do anything? He's rookie year till Thanksgiving? Rasheed Rice.
- [64:35]
C
Totally.
- [64:36]
A
Then Rasheed Rice was incredible. Like Luther Burton is the post Thanksgiving college freshman. Burton turnkey. Darnell Mooney, Falcons. I'm not turning my key. He's a good value. He's a good value. Christian Kirk, I think Texans, same thing. Good value. Weirdly good value. Not a season changing player.
- [64:52]
C
Right.
- [64:52]
B
Maybe the biggest Glansburg of the NFL season.
- [64:55]
A
I agree.
- [64:55]
C
I think we've all assumed it's like we're trying to do the thing where we do it with the running backs, where we're trying to just push. Jaden Higgins is going to back up.
- [65:04]
A
Nico Collins at X and Christian Kirk's going to be the underneath gun. Christian Kirk's going to be like. He's going to be like Adam Thielen was a couple years ago when I tried to bury him and he was really good. Christian Kirk's going to weirdly be a top 20 receiver, Tyler Lockett style. A month into the season. Kirk is like a perfect late round receiver. Not for this exercise, but I do think you win your league with. Christian Kirk can be mixed in. Like he's going to be able to play.
- [65:24]
C
I think he's a good sleeper, but not. Yeah, I agree.
- [65:26]
A
Last person I want to mention, he's not a turnkey, but I just wanted to shout out, Keenan Allen's back with the Chargers and looks okay. And I kind of think we would ignore Keenan Allen, but he went back to the Chargers with Herbert. He's like by far. And like it's worth remembering, Keenan. It's very rare where a guy signs with a team on August 21st. And like Herbert has way more experience with that guy than any of the other guys. And I want to say I can't remember the last time I ever felt that way. Keenan Allen to me is the most off the radar pick that could be immediately good because again, there's no ramp up period.
- [65:57]
B
Right.
- [65:57]
A
Like, I mean there is, but like it's a different offense.
- [65:59]
C
But like, but he's going to himself. He knows with a quarterback.
- [66:02]
A
Well, he doesn't know the system because they cut him, but like, because in the Bears last year. But like he knows Herbert, which is.
- [66:07]
C
The most important part that's in chemistry.
- [66:09]
A
Not washed. Keenan Allen just want to shout out. Okay, quarterbacks, this is going to be simpler again, guys, that could change the. I think Jalen Hurts. I. I just. Jalen hurts in the fourth round. You look back and he ends up the number one quarterback. Jalen Hurts to me is ranked like they banned the tush push and they did not. So I'm turning key. I don't even give a shit if you guys do or not. I'll turn your keys for you.
- [66:29]
B
I just like, I will turn my key on all four of the big four.
- [66:33]
A
Yeah. Hertz in particular. I just. I'd actually rather have Hertz in the fourth than Josh Allen in third. I think that, I think that the. They have higher ceilings, but it's like Jalen Hurts is the most predictable player game, week to week there's ever been in fantasy. Basically.
- [66:45]
C
I will say when I did a. I did an auction league the other day and it was. Hertz was not a lot cheaper, but he was cheaper than the other three.
- [66:53]
A
It makes no.
- [66:54]
C
Lamar, Jane Daniels and Josh Allen.
- [66:56]
A
It makes no sense to me.
- [66:58]
B
Oh, it makes sense to me like in the, in the, in the court of public opinion. I understand why.
- [67:02]
C
Sure.
- [67:02]
A
Yeah.
- [67:03]
B
Josh Allen and Love Lamar and they were. They win MVPs. Jalen hurts.
- [67:06]
A
Yeah, but they're cooler. But it's also like people who don't care about that just looking at. Is that combined with people looking at numbers are looking at like, like modeling and they're just like, well, these guys have higher ceilings and the Eagles are gonna do. It's gonna be different. But I'm like, I think the difference to me is Hertz. Hertz's little projection is the most bankable thing ever. Like, I can't even stress how much.
- [67:29]
B
I also think the Eagles might have to throw a lot more this year. And I really like Devontaine AJ Brown turnkey for her.
- [67:33]
A
Justin Fields is a turnkey for me, especially on Sleeper where he's ranked 126th.
- [67:38]
B
Yes.
- [67:38]
A
If you're a drafting on Sleeper again. Yahoo. Is Justin fields ranked like 83rd? I'm like, yeah, that's about right. I don't want him on Yahoo. Sleeper126 is the best value on the platform.
- [67:46]
B
Yeah, I like soured on him, I think because I'm not excited about the jets and you watch him in preseason but if you just kind of.
- [67:52]
A
He sucks.
- [67:53]
B
Think about when the season starts, week one, he's going to have 12 carries for 85 yards and a touchdown and he'll be a QB like you just got to think about that. And yes, if there's any guy going outside the top 10 who I feel if he plays 17 games has the best shot of finishing right outside those big. Those top four, it's him.
- [68:08]
A
Dak Prescott. Turnkey.
- [68:10]
C
I think so do we. Do we turn key on Justin? I guess I. I think I'm.
- [68:14]
A
No. You said I guess so. No.
- [68:16]
C
Oh no. I. I don't know. I think Craig said nuclear said I've soured on him and I agree with that.
- [68:22]
B
Don't watch it. Just don't watch him play.
- [68:23]
A
Yeah, you watched him play.
- [68:24]
C
I do think.
- [68:25]
A
Don't watch the.
- [68:26]
C
I do think he fits perfectly the definition of a guy who could heavily influence the outcome of your league. And so I agree. I think Justin Fields, the upside is too much to ignore. So I'm in Dak Prescott. What do you feel about that? I think Dak Prescott to me is easily the best non running option at quarterback.
- [68:45]
A
If we picked a pocket path, who if we were like the Baker Mayfield, Lester, who's the random pocket passer among the sea of Dak Prescott, Jared Goff, C.J. stroud, Jordan Love, Justin Herbert, who's like gonna randomly be with the top four rushing quarterbacks as the fifth guy. I can make a case for all of them. It can make a case for Jordan, Love, Stroud, all these guys. But if you pick one, I'd pick Dak same.
- [69:04]
C
I'll turn my key on that. On Pickens. I might as well Drake.
- [69:08]
B
May I nominating in 100. Turning my key. I think he's the cheapest bet to clone Josh Allen Turnkey.
- [69:13]
A
I think he's like Travian Henderson where it's like he's so exciting that I think he might go really high in a draft. But like if we're this exercise like yeah if Drake may just levels up this year then yeah I like this.
- [69:24]
C
I like this. I agree. And Hertz Fields Prescott May feels like a cool like quarterback group. I like that nice blunt rotation.
- [69:33]
A
Michael Pennix Jr. For the Falcons I.
- [69:36]
B
Wrote him down because I do think like could he, could he have a Darnold esque 35 touchdown for 4200 yard season? Is he the cheapest bet to do that year two of the offense Gun slinging a lot of talent, gonna throw the ball a lot. He was on pace for 4100. Again a very limited sample size but like he was already on pace for 4,100 passing yards in those three games. Only six guys did that last year. I'm kind of like could he be Jameis when Jameis.
- [70:04]
A
Yes.
- [70:05]
B
Jamis was like a top eight quarterback.
- [70:07]
C
Right.
- [70:07]
B
So I'm kind of like I don't know it's. I mean he's, he's going undrafted.
- [70:10]
A
I don't know if Pennix could do 3030 but I think he could do a 20. 20, 20 touchdowns and 20 picks.
- [70:16]
C
Yeah.
- [70:16]
B
Maybe that's not what you want but.
- [70:17]
A
Well I mean it is though for fantasy.
- [70:19]
B
If you're in a two quarterback league and you're kind of like I'm fine punting on quarterback this year. Last pick in the draft, Pennix.
- [70:25]
A
Yeah.
- [70:26]
C
I like this as a value. I don't like this. I'm not going to turn my key on him. I just don't know if I trust.
- [70:31]
B
It quite even as last pick in the draft quarterbacks go I think there's.
- [70:37]
C
Other guys I like a little bit more.
- [70:38]
A
Okay. Yeah. Any other quarterback she gets one. Caleb Williams, the Bears.
- [70:41]
B
I know. I think we should run through a couple of these. Caleb. I don't know I'm going to say no.
- [70:47]
A
I'm not turning my key like if it happens I wouldn't be shocked but I'm not turning my key as like oh yeah like I think this will like I kind. I still lean toward probably not.
- [70:54]
B
I do think the vibes have been so bad that he's. He's not going to get drafted super high anymore.
- [70:57]
C
He's.
- [70:58]
A
I agree with that.
- [70:59]
C
The hype is down.
- [71:00]
A
He's. He went from frankly a good offseason, a good preseason would have been like he's. You're drafting him as a bad starter and now you kind of drafting him as a good backup. Which it does is like that does.
- [71:10]
B
Change things if we just like never saw a practice or never Heard anything this offseason, he'd be going way higher.
- [71:14]
A
I think that's true. I'm not turning my key.
- [71:15]
B
No, I don't think I am either. What about Trevor Lawrence going as the QB22?
- [71:20]
A
I think he's like the. If. If the Jaguars offense becomes what the Bucks was last year and Liam Cohen turns out to be the next great coach. He's like the new Kevin o' Connell or whatever. Like, we would be. Yes.
- [71:30]
C
This year's Mayfield.
- [71:32]
A
But that's what it would take. And I wouldn't be surprised. But that's what it would take.
- [71:35]
B
He's a great bet for this. Like, I think the definition of. Of, like, everything comes together. He has all the skills. He runs a little bit. He's been a top 10 guy in the past. He's going so late.
- [71:45]
A
I would turn key on that because I just. I do think everyone's out. Everyone's out on Trevor Lawrence.
- [71:49]
B
Yeah. Darth again. This is the. In your draft, I kind of think it's not bad.
- [71:53]
C
All right. I would rather. Yeah, I agree. I'll turn Mickey on that. Even though I, you know, the previous history makes me a little nervous, but I just like. Of all the people that could be this year's Trevor Lawrence or. Sorry, this year's Baker Mayfield, I feel like Trevor Lawrence could be that.
- [72:06]
B
Yeah. Right Again, last pick in the draft. I keep stressing that.
- [72:09]
A
McCarthy, J.J. vikings. No, he's like, more. The argument is, you just said what, he's better than Darnold. Was more mobile than Darnold. So what if Darnold ran more last year?
- [72:17]
B
I know. I just.
- [72:19]
C
I think, to me, this is more of a gut thing.
- [72:21]
B
I'm willing to be wrong about J.J. mcCarthy.
- [72:23]
C
Yeah, that's fair.
- [72:23]
B
I'm willing to take it.
- [72:24]
A
I kind of have.
- [72:25]
C
I just have this gut feeling right now that JJ McCarthy's going to ball out.
- [72:28]
B
Oh.
- [72:29]
A
But.
- [72:29]
C
But it's more of a gut than a real strong conviction.
- [72:32]
B
I feel like they're hiding something. And he's not that good. That's how I feel.
- [72:35]
C
Wow. Okay.
- [72:36]
B
I don't know.
- [72:37]
A
Low stakes conspiracy.
- [72:38]
C
I think he's. I think he's the guy that's fallen through the cracks. And we're forgetting how fucking good Darnold was last year.
- [72:45]
A
He's a.
- [72:45]
C
After. After everyone was like, he's gonna suck.
- [72:48]
A
I think he's a value, but not like a league changing value. I mean, he could be. If he runs, he. Maybe he could be that guy. But, like, you see Jaden Daniels Last year, which is probably the point of this exercise. That breaker.
- [72:58]
B
I don't know. I'm like, he's a rookie coming off a brutal knee injury who like, well, it's a meniscus.
- [73:02]
A
Come on.
- [73:03]
B
Well, he had a second surgery on it. I don't know. It's just like, that's something, you know, you didn't even play at all last year. And then even his Michigan year, like, the whole knock on him was like, he didn't have to do that much. I'm just, I don't know.
- [73:13]
C
But have you seen him meditate? All right, Good meditator. Anyone else? Cam Ward.
- [73:22]
A
Nice. I don't think he's. I don't have conviction.
- [73:23]
C
I just think he's a good.
- [73:24]
A
He doesn't fit this definition to me. Cambodia get at him off waivers and maybe he's like a good, passable quarterback. He's not changing your season. Tight end. I just think Brock Bowers, Trey McBride, George Kittle, Lump all them in. I turn key all them. I think that if you get them around where they're going and the other running backs, receivers there, you don't like. I'm like, that's a thrilling pick.
- [73:40]
C
I think difference makers.
- [73:41]
A
If they are what we think they are and you have them at tight end, like, it's one of the, it's the. What do we joke when you have one of these guys that is super bad.
- [73:48]
C
It's like having two cocks.
- [73:49]
A
Yeah.
- [73:50]
C
These are the turnkey. These are the three guys who could be the number one receiver on their team.
- [73:54]
B
These are obvious. Let's move on.
- [73:55]
A
Yeah. Mark Andrews. I'm turning key.
- [73:57]
B
Me too.
- [73:58]
A
I think Mark Andrews is the epitome of like, he's an ick. He gives DK the ick. He dropped the ball every season. Mark Andrews, again, first half of the season, was the worst tight end, probably the worst player that was in lineups for the first half of the season. Then he had 11 touchdowns in his last 10 games. So then it's like, like he's falling in drafts because it's like people don't know what to do with that touchdown regression, blah, blah, blah. He had tightrope surgery and then a car crash and he was just up the first half of the season and then we got his legs under him. Like, literally, figuratively. I, I think he's actually the fourth best tight end.
- [74:25]
B
Isaiah, like injured as well.
- [74:27]
A
Yeah. So I, I, Mark Andrews is where he's going. My favorite guy.
- [74:32]
B
Like, I don't love, like, mid round tight Ends in general. If you are going to take one, I. I would definitely take Mark.
- [74:36]
A
Another guy.
- [74:37]
C
I'm not doing it.
- [74:38]
A
I not shocked. Another guy where there's like a pretty big gap between where he's going on some platforms.
- [74:43]
C
Very strongly about it, but I like Andrews.
- [74:45]
A
Okay.
- [74:45]
B
I think we can all turn key on Tyler Warren.
- [74:47]
A
All turn key on Tyler Warren for the Colts.
- [74:48]
C
Yeah. Everything you said about Daniel Jones earlier with. With Michael Pittman in them, I was just thinking Tyler Warren feels like the real target for me based on this and I'm just really excited about that.
- [74:59]
A
The only thing I want to flag.
- [75:00]
C
It'S just like he's Craig's whole thing. I've seen enough. He has looked the part incredibly, just incredibly perfect.
- [75:07]
A
And Daniel Jones being the quarterback now for Tyler Warren, like all Daniel Jones did that season, he got paid when he threw the 15 touchdowns. Was like bootlegs to tight ends. And I mean, they're going to have so many screens from Steichen designing them for Dallas Goddard back in the day. Like, they're going to so many. Everything's over the middle. He's a receiver. I will say the only thing about Warren that I'll say is if you look again, I know I keep doing the platform thing, but, like, that's how this really meant. Like, this is where you're actually drafting from. Like, this is what matters. Tyler Warren on Yahoo. Well, I guess he's 110th, but like ESPN, Tyler Warren is, I don't know, 113th there too, overall. So, you know, it's like a, you know, 10th, 11th round. It depends how big your league is.
- [75:42]
B
Yahoo.
- [75:43]
A
Is like 98th and like, I'm embarrassed, but, like, the little 98 looks different than 102 does. And so. But I turnkey. Overall, we think that Tyler Warren has the best chance to be a top five tight end next year when you're drafting. All right. Turnkey. Tucker Craft for the Packers. I think he's probably more of a cool value.
- [75:59]
C
I like that more. I don't feel confident he's a good value.
- [76:02]
A
He's like a Tony poll.
- [76:03]
C
I think he's a great flyer.
- [76:04]
A
Yeah, he's probably. He's like Jordan Addison. He's probably really good value at the cost. Colson Loveland for the Bears.
- [76:09]
B
I'm not turning my key.
- [76:10]
A
I don't think I'm turning for Tyler Warren. I'm not turning the key for close.
- [76:15]
C
I've thought Loveland arguably looks more exciting than Tyler Warren.
- [76:19]
B
That might be true, but I. The. The thing that you need for a tight end to take off in fantasy is they need to have very little competition. They need to be on the field all the time. I don't know if close to Lovin's gonna do it.
- [76:29]
C
He has a lot of competition and Cole Comet is getting a lot of snaps.
- [76:33]
B
He might be great. I just don't know for fantasy if he'll be on the field enough and getting enough targets to actually work out.
- [76:39]
A
I also think I was trying to pull this up, but the thing is, why the entire Colson Loveland thing is, well, Ben Johnson, with Sam Laporta his rookie year, Sam Laporta was the number one tight end basically right? And Sam LaPorta scored like 10 touchdowns.
- [76:55]
C
Right.
- [76:56]
A
The problem with that logic to me is that the Lions that year scored 460 points. And to me the question is not whether Colson Loveland's better than Sam laporta, it's does the Bears offense have any chance, any chance of being as good as the lions were in 2023? I would say, like, no. Like there's not a fraction as much talent. They could be average because the Bears were awful on offense last year and I think the Bears being average would be a remarkable improvement. But that's not what gets Colson Loveland to be like a difference making top four tight end. Like he does that. If they score, the Rookie Titan gets 10 touchdowns and doesn't even lead the team. And I just don't think that's going to happen.
- [77:26]
C
Well.
- [77:27]
B
And I would even add like that year with the Lions, they had a Monroe St. Brown and then it was like Josh Reynolds, Khalif Raymond. There wasn't, I mean, they had the running backs, but there wasn't as much competition as there is in Jim.
- [77:37]
A
The difference to me is the Colts. Tyler Warren to me is like, yeah.
- [77:40]
C
There was no Kias.
- [77:41]
A
The Colts could be the worst team in the NFL. The Colts could be the difference between even Warren and it. The difference in Warren and Loveland to me is just like Warren, I think could lead the Colts in catches and would be shocked 100%. And the bears would be like shocking. Last guy. The whole exercise has been coming to this the entire show. Honestly, the entire run of our podcast has been coming to this moment.
- [78:07]
C
Kyle Pitts, absolutely not.
- [78:10]
A
It's a contract year. He may not love football, but everyone loves money.
- [78:16]
C
I think if you hate yourself enough, you can take Kyle Pitts and that's probably a decent flyer and that's how far I'll go.
- [78:23]
A
We just said how much have we talked about like Michael Penix Jr. Is going to sling it around the yard. We just talked about how we think, we think he could be a difference making player. He could be like Jamis, whatever. Darnell Mooney's hurt. Michael Penix Jr. Keeps saying I'm going to get the ball to Kyle Pitts. They're golfing together. It's like the Matthew Stafford getting breakfast with the Cooper Cup. They're playing golf together. Like I'm just saying Kyle Pitts on ESPN for example is ranked 142nd tight end 17 between Hunter Henry and Tua. So I'm just saying in terms of turning key, the point of this exercise is guys who, oh yeah, he got them and like you changed my hair. If Kyle Pitts is not necessarily even a different player. He's just a, he's not a great tight end. He's a deep receiver. He's like, he's like a field stretcher and a tight end. Body or receiver? Body, I guess. But the difference is he had Marcus Mariota nerve injury during the year he retired. He had Taylor Heinecke, had Kirk Cousins post who was good with Kirk Cousins healthy. Then Kirk Cousins thing got. Kyle Pitts was top five tight end that last year in October. Then Kirk Cousins re injured his ankle or Achilles basically whatever and then dipped off. And I'm just saying don't forget Desmond Ritter. Desmond Ritter like Kyle Pitts, as much as he's annoyed us, there's a chance that this is kind of our fucking fault. Like it's, we never ever really questioned that. He's like Terry McLaurin and it's like, oh no, you've played with terrible receivers. Like Kyle Pitts has been frustrating us. But it's hard to be a tight end. I'm just saying this is clearly the best quarterback situation he's entered a season with. Obviously last year was better, but he was good until Kirk Cousins got hurt. I'm just saying for the purpose of this exercise, I am turning key on Kyle Pitts because he's going to be a really late pick. There are probably some leagues he might not get drafted until there might be defenses and kickers taken before Kyle Pittsburgh. And at that point it's like the definition of a buy the dip. There will be Brandon Aubrey for Cowboys will go before Kyle Pitts in drafts.
- [80:08]
B
You know where I stand.
- [80:10]
C
I'm not putting my name on it. Absolutely not.
- [80:13]
A
All right.
- [80:14]
C
I need, I need, it's like jelly. I need proof of life that he's actually good Before I'm going to get behind him again and put my name next to his.
- [80:21]
B
Get him in like the 14th round.
- [80:22]
A
Cedric Tillman. Fine. That's fine.
- [80:24]
C
You can take him in the 14th round. Maybe it'll be good.
- [80:26]
B
It'll be a dollar.
- [80:27]
C
I think we're. I think it's far. It's far enough. Going far.
- [80:30]
B
How much could Kyle Pitts cost, Michael?
- [80:31]
A
$10.
- [80:33]
C
I think we've gone far enough in saying you should take Kyle Pitts as a late round flyer. I'm not going to call him one of our must add players of the year or whatever. Like, like. No, that's the strongest conviction.
- [80:43]
A
We'll be the only people doing it.
- [80:45]
B
Can I pay you to turn your key on Kyle Pitts?
- [80:47]
C
How much?
- [80:48]
A
I have how much? How much time? Wait here.
- [80:52]
B
If I gave you some money, puts his name in our social graph.
- [80:55]
C
If I gave you some money in my wallet, would you be mad at me still though?
- [80:59]
A
I have $20.
- [81:00]
C
No, I can't. That's.
- [81:02]
B
Come on, don't compromise your integrity. I'm like 40.
- [81:06]
C
It have to be at least twice as big as that. No, I'm not doing it.
- [81:10]
A
Hold on.
- [81:11]
C
Absolutely not. Morally. I can't do it.
- [81:14]
A
I have another 20.
- [81:15]
B
40 bucks.
- [81:16]
A
He's like, can, can we, can we put pits on the list? No, you said twice as bad. I'm it. All right. Those are our guys. We're going to put on Instagram, follow Sovereign Fantasy Football and we're going to. On Instagram and TikTok. We're going to put the list of guys we were unanimous on that will include Kyle Pitts.
- [81:34]
C
No, it won't. It will not.
- [81:36]
A
All right. Will not include Kyle Pitts and. Yeah. So thank you everyone for listening. I know that was probably a little different than most episodes we do, but I kind of just feel like people just want names and names and names and names and names.
- [81:47]
B
Big draft.
- [81:47]
A
People can change your season.
- [81:48]
B
Yeah.
- [81:49]
A
So that is it. And then, yeah, we're going to get to Bill Simmons and again, ringer fantasy football YouTube channel. Subscribe to that. And we're going to have the ringer fantasy football league. We're going to do a live draft with Bill and.
- [81:59]
B
Yeah, yeah, stick around. We're going to. We're going to announce our punishment idea with Bill Simmons coming up next.
- [82:04]
C
Love that.
- [82:04]
A
We're not going to announce it. We're going to figure it out live with Bill.
- [82:06]
B
Yeah.
- [82:07]
A
All right. Thank you, everyone. This episode is brought to you by Hyundai get into the Hyundai Getaway sales event and get away with the deal. So right it almost feels wrong. Score a great deal on their adventure. Ready SUVs like Kona, Tucson, Santa Fe and Palisade. Their bold and stylish Elantra, their most advanced Sonata yet. And the all electric Ioniq 5 and Ioniq 6. Plus every Hyundai is backed by America's best warranty and Hyundai complimentary maintenance. Visit Hyundai USA.com or call 562-314-4603 for details. Offers End September 2, 2025 this episode.
- [82:47]
D
Is brought to you by Prime. Prime delivery is fast. How fast are we talking? We're talking a cooler for your snacks, a folding chair, a Bluetooth speaker, and a six pack of your favorite seltzer delivered by tomorrow fast. Oh, yeah. Extra napkins, last minute guac bowls, backup phone chargers, even a replacement remote. Fast. I feel like I've ordered all of those things. We're talking everything you need for game day. Fast, fast. Free delivery. It's on Prime.
- [83:15]
A
All right. We are now joined by the POD father, Bill Simmons, who is here because the ringer fan.
- [83:19]
D
I don't know how to sit on this side suit. Almost want to like take your leg off and just not have a leg.
- [83:25]
A
Here. You want to just not have a leg.
- [83:27]
C
You just alpha dog them. You just sit with your legs.
- [83:29]
D
Dude, we should have just gotten gym shorts. No, no, no gym shorts. You could have seen my defined calves from all my.
- [83:36]
B
Maybe that's a fantasy punishment. You got to wear gym shorts on pod.
- [83:38]
A
I was going to say fantasy punish punishment. We're gonna cut his leg off.
- [83:41]
D
No, but you gotta wear the gym. Like the 80s perfect gym shorts. Yeah, like the. The ones that like, they're coming up and there's like some leg hair spots.
- [83:50]
A
You know what?
- [83:51]
D
I told you guys I was gonna be on one today.
- [83:53]
A
Well, you said, well, leg hair. I feel like I just have leg hair all over my leg.
- [83:57]
D
What do you think it's like, you know, like, like in the 80s especially. Just like got a little uncomfortable. Some of the NBA games, some of the movies.
- [84:04]
A
Is that what you were playing Fantasy football by catching up with the box scores in the Tuesday newspaper and just dealing with your weird fitting shorts in the 80s. That's basically what you were doing.
- [84:13]
D
I'm actually planning the booger reader draft with my friends from that draft where we do round by round like the old days.
- [84:20]
B
No, auction.
- [84:20]
D
They don't understand auction.
- [84:21]
B
Well, you'll be upset that our ringer fantasy football league draft that we're doing on Monday is a snake I know.
- [84:26]
D
I'm bringing a ton of boogers. I'm gonna pick them as we're doing. It's the booger Eater draft. Can't wait.
- [84:31]
A
We should call it that. Can we market that now? We call this league. We don't do auction anymore. We do Snake because the fathers revolted. They had newborn kids, and they were like, it's really simple. We can do a Snake draft or I will leave the league. And the three fathers all were like, we all decided. And so we went to Snake.
- [84:48]
B
We can start with the Snake in year one, and we can do auction year two. If nobody likes the snake, we'll do auction year two.
- [84:53]
D
Auctions are starting to get ruined because people are just like, 69 for Chase 70. And then it just kind of get stupid. It's kind of what the. What the Bengals have done with their actual team.
- [85:04]
B
Yeah, auction tough because for three guys, if you don't know what you're doing in an auction, you can genuinely have a terrible team. Like, you can end the draft with just $80 you forgot to spend and really have a bad team. Snake kind of keeps things a little more even for. For year one.
- [85:16]
D
Those are my favorites. The guy who thinks he's outsmarting, he's.
- [85:20]
B
Got 40 bucks left, and now he's just.
- [85:22]
D
Everyone's gone, and it's like just Jacoby Myers for 28 bucks. The guy's just, like, devastated. Yeah, I like those guys.
- [85:29]
A
So thank you for coming on, Bill. This is really fun. So, again, the reason you're here is. Well, the reason we're really doing this right now is so we are going to bring back the Ringer fantasy football league. We've got the live stream on the ringer fantasy football YouTube channel. Go subscribe there. And that's going to be at 4 Pacific, which, as some people call it, 1 Eastern.
- [85:46]
B
Wrong. 1 Pacific 4.
- [85:48]
A
I always get that backwards.
- [85:49]
C
He was being so condescending to you.
- [85:51]
B
It actually was so good.
- [85:52]
A
It's like instant karma. Instant karma.
- [85:54]
C
Most fun.
- [85:55]
D
Hard to remember. Pacific versus East. Made it seem like he was.
- [86:02]
A
Like a clue. Tetherball, like, hit me in the back of the head. But yeah. So 4pm Eastern, 1pm Pacific lives. We're going to have the Ringer fantasy football live draft. And so the missing. The missing piece. We have everyone in the league. It's going to be really fun.
- [86:16]
B
Got to have a punishment.
- [86:17]
A
The missing piece has been. What is the punishment for last place? Yeah. I'm not going to lie, Bill. We have something we think you're Going to be very.
- [86:23]
D
I've heard on your pod, basically the bar is, could we ask Bill to do this right?
- [86:28]
A
Yeah.
- [86:28]
D
Which I think is a fair bar.
- [86:30]
B
Will people with children do this?
- [86:34]
C
Bosses be willing to do that.
- [86:35]
A
You have to eat as many hot dogs as Joey Chestnut did over the course of a week.
- [86:38]
B
I'm like, you're not doing that.
- [86:39]
A
Yeah, I'm not doing that.
- [86:43]
B
We tried to let our listeners know, like, hey, be reasonable with. With these ideas. But we, we got a specific email from a guy named Scott.
- [86:49]
A
Yeah, Shout out Scott, who has the.
- [86:50]
B
Best idea I've ever heard.
- [86:51]
A
It is the best idea we've ever heard.
- [86:53]
D
So we're doing best idea first.
- [86:55]
A
Are you going to do the other.
- [86:56]
B
Format for how to format. You'll see.
- [86:58]
A
Just go. So the point being, Scott was inspired by the fact that we were like, oh, the funniest one we thought was two cold cans of soup guy.
- [87:05]
B
Yeah.
- [87:06]
A
And then Sean. Sean came out and was like, I wouldn't do that. We're like, what do you mean you wouldn't eat. It's food. And he's like, but I would do Vanilla Ice eyebrow slits. We're like, you'll do slits in your eyebrows like Vanilla Ice, but you won't eat cold soup. He was like, yep. And we're like, okay, people are different. This is going to be harder than we think.
- [87:19]
D
What was this cold soup thing?
- [87:21]
B
Somebody emailed in and asked you, the loser has to eat two cold cans of soup. And we were like, that's gross, but not unreasonable. Not like. And Sean was like, cooked.
- [87:28]
A
He called it Fear factor. I'm like, it's food. They sell it for money.
- [87:32]
B
Sean was like, oh, I would never do cold cans.
- [87:33]
D
They definitely do that in Seattle.
- [87:35]
B
He was like, but I would shave lines into my eyebrows.
- [87:38]
A
I never would have occurred to me to ask Sean Fennesee, will you shave your eyebrows for this league?
- [87:43]
D
And I'm like, from Long Island. That's where the Long island comes out.
- [87:45]
A
So Scott was inspired by that conversation and sent the following email. I think it's the best email maybe we've ever.
- [87:50]
B
I think there's a show that fantasy leagues across the world start.
- [87:54]
A
We. We can get this to be a thing. So Scott says, I know. Fuck, we shouldn't. No, the idea sucks.
- [88:00]
B
Under promise.
- [88:01]
A
Over delivered idea's terrible. No. So Scott emailed in and said, I had this idea. Why not make a punishment draft?
- [88:11]
B
Oh, hold on.
- [88:12]
A
It would be great content and could be streamed and promoted along with the draft for the actual league. And before the league begins, each participant could pick from a pool of reasonable punishments. So the ones you're already collecting, two cold cans of soup, Vanilla Ice eyebrows jersey, maybe we'll put you in a Lakers jersey. You know, all these different things. And if you're losing them, we're losing them.
- [88:33]
D
People send that to me.
- [88:34]
A
We'll put Chris, we'll put Chris Ryan in a Celtics jersey. That's, you know, we'll put, we'll see.
- [88:39]
B
Think about his body would reject it. Yes.
- [88:41]
A
We'll put fennel. We'll put Fennancy in a Celtics jersey or something. But yeah, so that was a pretty good idea from Scott. Then Scott said, or to make things even more interesting, yeah, we could just add an extra round to the draft and make the draft punishment, make the league last place punishments. Actual things you can draft. If you come in last during the, during the draft, you can decide how.
- [89:06]
C
Early you want to start.
- [89:07]
B
It's like a defense. It's like a defense in the ninth round. If you're like, you know what? I just want to take the punishment of you got to wear shorts to work for a week. That one's the least disruptive. I would totally do that. I'm just going to take that in the 12th round just so I don't have to get stuck with, I got to eat 15 hot dogs.
- [89:23]
A
If Sean is like, if Sean is like, I think I'm terrible at fantasy and I'm going to lose this pick. So maybe the third round he's like, you know what? Third round, he's like, free spin, no punishment. I'm taking that one. And we actually, you can decide where the punishments rank. And we have 10 or 15 different punishments.
- [89:38]
D
So you're drafting it to take it off the board for yourself.
- [89:41]
A
Correct. You get to do it.
- [89:42]
B
So you get to do it. You basically, it's like, how confident do you feel that you'll win if you feel like, you know what, there's no way I'm getting last. And you're like, who cares? I'll take my punishment dead last, like a kicker. And if it's something terrible, I'm not going to get last anyway. But if you're like, I don't know how good I am at fantasy, maybe I'll spend an 8th round pick on, I gotta wear puka shells around my.
- [90:00]
D
Neck for a week. Or any real man is waiting till the last round.
- [90:06]
A
And you're like, I don't need to do it. And then you're like, well, you get stuck maybe with the Last one. So do you do it before your kicker? Do you have to?
- [90:12]
B
I think we should add. I think one of the punishments should be no punishment. It should be. It's like a bingo free space. Because I think it's really interesting how early somebody would take.
- [90:20]
A
But I. I think this works for a variety of reasons. But I also think every league has the issue that this league has, which is people will do different stuff. And I actually think, right. There's this constant thing of like, oh, this guy lost and won't do the punishment. And it's like, if you actually are drafting the punishment and you're agreeing to do an advance, I think it would make it easier for leagues to enforce weirder things because some people are just like, that's not. I never in a million years would have thought Sean would shave his fucking eyebrows like Vanilla Ice. So I think you're actually getting more stuff. People are going to be more down. So what do you think?
- [90:51]
D
I mean, when you laid it out, I actually thought you were going in a different direction, that it was drafting a punishment for somebody else. Oh, so you stick. Like, Heifetz only gets to have one thing drafted for him and you're like, I know Heifetz hates spiders, so it's like round 15. You're like, I draft Heifetz has to do, and then that's it. And then he's off the board.
- [91:12]
B
That's great. But I feel like I think the.
- [91:13]
D
Other way is better, though.
- [91:14]
A
But hypothetically, you're saying I could use a fifth round pick and make Sean Fennesee eat the cold season soup.
- [91:19]
D
Well, the thing is, there's gonna be two ones that nobody wants.
- [91:22]
C
Right.
- [91:22]
D
So then it becomes a game of chicken with those last two.
- [91:25]
B
But like you said, if you're a real man.
- [91:27]
A
Yeah.
- [91:27]
B
You don't care. You're not gonna get last.
- [91:29]
A
Yeah.
- [91:31]
D
So Survivor has done pieces of this, right, where they've had, like, little challenges and you've had to decide how much money you wanna spend. Stuff out.
- [91:39]
B
Yeah.
- [91:39]
D
And it definitely works.
- [91:41]
B
Like, if one of the options is no punishment, how high would that go? Yeah, like, what if Mal's like, I wouldn't do that. What if Sean's like, fuck it, I'll just take the no punch in the 10th round.
- [91:50]
A
P Y O P. It's like, pick your own punishment.
- [91:52]
B
Yeah.
- [91:52]
A
Put it on the punishment.
- [91:53]
D
The problem is it is too ambitious to the person at the beginning of the last round because I think that's where most of these go.
- [91:59]
B
Well, you think. You think the no punishment square will go all the way till the end.
- [92:02]
A
I would do the punishment for the kicker. I don't care about my kicker.
- [92:05]
C
Somebody's going to try and kick it.
- [92:06]
A
I don't give a shit about kicker.
- [92:07]
B
Yeah, I think it's going to go the final third round is where all the punishments will go because it'll go punishments and then kicker's defense.
- [92:14]
C
It's gonna be a run on.
- [92:14]
A
I would do a punishment for the kicker.
- [92:16]
B
Me too.
- [92:16]
D
I truly, I mean, honestly, the worst punishment for me would be like, you cannot drink coffee for a week. I'd probably draft that. I'm really good just getting rid of that now.
- [92:27]
B
Now you're like, it's like the 13th round. You're like, maybe I'll just do the coffee.
- [92:31]
D
I don't want to do this ever.
- [92:32]
A
Spotify's Bill Simmons passes away three days into no coffee challenge. Yeah, yeah, that would be bad anyway.
- [92:37]
D
I think something horrible would happen to me. It's like the highlight of my day. We ran out of half and half because we were away and we came back and the half and half was bad. And I drove to Starbucks at 6:30 in the morning to get coffee today in my glasses and pajamas and T shirt. And I was like, nobody will see me. Kate Hallowell works for the Ringer. Was like, I was a block away. I saw you at Starbucks.
- [92:58]
B
I'm like, oh my God, everywhere.
- [93:00]
D
I probably should not do that anyway.
- [93:03]
A
Yeah.
- [93:03]
B
So you don't hate this idea?
- [93:05]
D
No, I think it's good, it's interesting.
- [93:07]
C
But I think you need.
- [93:08]
D
It's a 10 person draft. Right. So I think you probably need like 14 or 15 punishments.
- [93:13]
B
We're gonna go through 25 quick ones.
- [93:15]
A
A little under 30 here. Five of which are just to piss you off. And then like 25 actual and we'll.
- [93:19]
B
Land on 12 to 15. That'll be the pool. So then all 10 of us on Monday, those punishments will just be like players. You can pick them whenever you want.
- [93:26]
D
I wish I had not mentioned the no coffee for a week. That's going to have to get that one, Craig.
- [93:33]
A
So we ordered this drink coffee. My favorite idea. Still, that makes.
- [93:36]
D
That scares me for you. I don't know most normal people. I know, but no coffee?
- [93:40]
B
I'm naturally motivated.
- [93:41]
A
No, no, no.
- [93:41]
B
Naturally motivated.
- [93:42]
A
However, if we ever have to do anything at 8 in the morning Pacific, Craig wakes up, he's like, sorry, man. Sometimes you're so hard to get going in the morning. I'm like sleepy. I'm groggy I don't know what it is. I'm like, drink coffee. You think you're bad at 8 in the morning? I'm like, no, you look like I'm.
- [93:57]
B
Bad at 8 in the morning. So I guess if I got no sleep one night, yeah, I'd be like. Like, I wish I could have some energy right now.
- [94:02]
C
If only there was something that would help me wake up and feel better.
- [94:05]
D
And do you adjust as you get older, though? Because that's a common mistake for people. Like, your 20s are different than your early 30s and your mid-30s.
- [94:12]
B
Everyone's like, hey, the second you have kids, buddy, you're drinking coffee. Which might be true.
- [94:16]
C
Yeah.
- [94:16]
A
And you're going to. He's into ceremonial grade matcha four.
- [94:20]
B
Like, it's like 12. It is.
- [94:23]
A
You have zero right now.
- [94:25]
D
Two kids is like 17.
- [94:26]
C
Four is exponentially more than zero.
- [94:28]
B
I can't believe we're talking about this. Yeah. Yeah. I want three to four children. I don't think that that's not an insane number. He'll be.
- [94:33]
D
He'll be drinking coffee.
- [94:35]
B
Coffee's in John and Kate plus eight. This is not, I don't know, freak.
- [94:39]
A
I'm the furthest from all of you guys, from every here of having kids, but I. My favorite thing anyone's ever told me is the difference between two and three is you go from man to man, defense to zone.
- [94:47]
B
Yeah, yeah, I get it. I get it.
- [94:48]
D
No, that's true.
- [94:49]
B
It's still not an insane number. There are many four.
- [94:51]
D
And if you have four, it's like. It's like bull fighting and Pamplona, whatever. When it's just the people running around trying not to get hit.
- [94:58]
C
That's four jumping up on the fence.
- [94:59]
A
Yeah.
- [95:00]
B
I'll start drinking cold brew then.
- [95:01]
A
I'm sure. Yeah. So here, why don't you just drink coffee?
- [95:04]
B
I don't, to be honest. I don't like feeling jittery. And if I have like a giant cup of coffee or cold brew, like, I feel like shit, so I just don't drink it.
- [95:13]
D
That's weird.
- [95:15]
A
So we're gonna go through. So again, so idea nominations here, starting with. I still think my favorite. The dumbest idea. That's, to me, the funniest that people would do. I still love the cold. Two cold cases.
- [95:24]
B
I think that's fine, right?
- [95:25]
A
Yeah.
- [95:26]
B
Yeah. Okay.
- [95:26]
A
Vanilla Ice, eyebrows slit. Which I wasn't even gonna put on this list, but Sean said he'd do it, so I'm putting it on.
- [95:31]
B
I would have probably said nobody's gonna do that. Until Sean was like, I would do that.
- [95:34]
C
I'm fully.
- [95:34]
D
Would you eyebrows go. They grow back though, right?
- [95:37]
A
But here's the thing.
- [95:37]
B
They take a long time.
- [95:38]
A
My eyebrows and Sean's eyebrows are different. And he was like, I think that would. That would be tough for my hair.
- [95:43]
B
Me and you have.
- [95:45]
C
You guys can't even barely see my eyebrows.
- [95:47]
A
That's the only one where I'm like, if it was that or something else like, I. I actually would have to.
- [95:51]
B
Use eyebrows take an average of three to four months to grow back.
- [95:53]
C
Back.
- [95:53]
D
Oh, that's terrible.
- [95:57]
A
I got caterpillars. That's what we were shot also.
- [95:59]
D
Like, we're on. On video doing pods. You can't have like.
- [96:02]
C
Sean was like, oh, yeah.
- [96:03]
B
So do you think that one should be in the pool? Only one person will get it. Or nobody could get it.
- [96:08]
D
I mean, I. I would be more. More bullish on like a sideburns thing.
- [96:14]
A
Like a what if it's.
- [96:15]
D
Or ten weeks of like. Like Elvis mutton chop sideburns or whatever like sideburn situation. That could at least go down to the top of your jaw.
- [96:23]
B
We could do. What if we did. Like, you can't shave for certain amount of time.
- [96:25]
C
Like a playoff beard. But that's like fun.
- [96:28]
B
Yeah.
- [96:29]
D
Danny's like going to do that.
- [96:30]
A
That's actually.
- [96:30]
B
Yeah, me and H. It would be like it.
- [96:33]
C
I think you should do either eyebrow slits or like the Vanilla Ice. Like the side of your head.
- [96:40]
D
Well, we just did witness for rewatchables. What about the Amish beard? Chin strap. Yeah, the chin strap.
- [96:49]
A
That's pretty good. So other ones here. These are just things that I don't know if they're necessarily right for our league. We've argued about this. But things that a lot of people do these. And these are like the most popular answers of what do you do in your links. These are things people say, give us Bill.
- [97:01]
B
Give us your just gut reaction. Yes. No.
- [97:03]
A
Yes. No. Should we just be. You have to take the SCTS at your. @ a local high school on a Saturday morning.
- [97:09]
D
That's pretty. I've heard that one's been done before. That's pretty funny. That's a pretty big commitment, though.
- [97:13]
B
Would you do that? I thought nobody would do it.
- [97:16]
A
It's three. This is our biggest argument. He's like, no one will do it. I'm like, it takes three hours. Any high school offers it on Saturday?
- [97:23]
B
Yeah, I just. Sean Fantasy, who has a child is not going to on his Saturday go take the SATs. It's just not going to happen. Well, then.
- [97:28]
A
Well, this whole punishment is going to take two hours. I don't know. It's a good idea.
- [97:32]
D
I don't think it makes the final cut.
- [97:33]
A
Okay. A lot of other things. These are just not as cool. But just like a bumper sticker on your car of the winner's choice for a determined period of time.
- [97:40]
B
If you had to drive around for a year with a bumper sticker that said female body instructor, and you couldn't take it off. FBI female body inspector. Oh, inspector. Not instructor. Baby instructor.
- [97:52]
C
What if just wear the FBI T shirt?
- [97:54]
B
Like, that's pretty good.
- [97:55]
A
That's like, worse. Like, that's like, Sal can't win more than anyone can.
- [97:58]
B
Would you throw that on your car for a year?
- [97:59]
D
I think it has to be something that wouldn't get the car defaced. If you're like a target parker.
- [98:03]
B
I don't think that would get it defaced.
- [98:04]
A
I think it has to. Yeah, within reason. I think that should be.
- [98:07]
B
You know those ones where it's just like the outline of the woman's body. The sticker like you have on the back of a truck. You ever seen that?
- [98:12]
A
You have a very specific vision in my bumper sticker.
- [98:14]
B
You know, you don't know. You know, I know you're talking about. Yeah, like something like that. That's embarrassing, but it's not offensive.
- [98:19]
A
So it's like that license plate frame. Eyelashes on the car.
- [98:22]
C
Eyelashes on a car. It's really funny. Have you seen these? It's like giant eyelashes on top of the front lights, and it looks very funny.
- [98:33]
B
Did you do that?
- [98:34]
D
I mean, that sounds awful.
- [98:36]
A
That should probably be, I think a month. I think a month.
- [98:38]
B
Yeah. Yeah.
- [98:38]
A
A year is crazy. Shorts and flip flops to the office for a week.
- [98:43]
D
Nobody judges anything in an office anymore. I wouldn't even notice if somebody did that.
- [98:48]
C
Okay.
- [98:50]
A
You have to wear a headband during a podcast, but you cannot address it.
- [98:54]
B
One podcast, you have to wear a headband.
- [98:59]
C
We got to make it. We got to level up.
- [99:01]
B
That's pretty.
- [99:01]
C
I think it's the broken nose. The broken nose thing where, like, if.
- [99:05]
B
You break your nose, the Rip Hamilton mask.
- [99:06]
A
I think Rip Hamilton. Like, you can't mention it, but I almost think Tyler Hansberry, that is.
- [99:11]
B
That's more reasonable. Not to mention because somebody be like, they broke their nose.
- [99:15]
C
Right?
- [99:15]
B
The headband is like, oh, yeah, that's a good point.
- [99:17]
A
You'd be like, I know what happened. The headband's like, what the Fuck. Okay. Okay.
- [99:19]
B
Yeah, right. Like Mal on House of R just has to wear a headband.
- [99:22]
D
That's pretty good.
- [99:24]
A
Okay, so we like the headband. So a lot of people emailed in about trying to program the rewatchables, Bill.
- [99:31]
B
I can't tell you. Hundreds and hundreds of people want to. To program the rewatchable.
- [99:36]
A
Everyone wants.
- [99:36]
D
How is that a punishment then?
- [99:37]
A
Well, the only good, the best one that someone suggested was the loser's punishment is the. The loser's favorite movie is the Rewatchables episode. And they're on it, but they can't speak.
- [99:49]
B
So like Chris does Sicario, but he's not allowed to talk.
- [99:51]
A
He's just sit there the entire time and he can't say anything. I love that. Which is pretty funny.
- [99:56]
B
Just imagine the takes you have to hold in.
- [99:58]
D
He's just like sitting in the producer's table.
- [100:00]
B
No, no, he's sitting at the table. He's just at the table and you.
- [100:02]
C
Don'T talk to him.
- [100:03]
A
Can't talk.
- [100:04]
B
It's like you, Sean and Van doing Sicario next to Chris mouth tape.
- [100:07]
A
Like Gen Z.
- [100:10]
C
What would be Mal's version?
- [100:12]
A
This one. I like this idea. So someone emailed in and said you had a column where you wrote about MVP awards, which is still true in our Josh Allen argument last year, that MVP awards should be commensurate different size. So like last year, Josh Allen vs Lamar should be like Stanley cup size MVP and then shitty season should be. The loser should have to wear a medal that says like fantasy loser on their pods for a week. But the how big the medal is is commensurate to how bad your team was. So your ratio, like, if you were. If you actually had a lot of points for, but you had like the most points against, basically be really small. Maybe we'll even like only make you have to do it for like one episode. But if you hatched had the shittiest team and you got your ass kicked, then, like, you're gonna have to do it. It's gonna be huge metal. Or you have to do it for like longer. It's commercial.
- [100:57]
C
It's like a big clock.
- [100:57]
A
Yeah, like a flavor flame clock. But basically the idea is something about making it bigger or larger based on the actual performance of your team, which I kind of.
- [101:05]
C
I like that.
- [101:07]
D
Can I give you one that's on the thing? I think it would be funny to make somebody tweet once a week about something that would be controversial. But it like somebody just every week on a Tuesday at 1, they're like, I'm glad long form journalism is dying. There's no context at all to it.
- [101:24]
C
Right.
- [101:25]
D
And they just. Everybody's going, you're the problem. And then they just have to do.
- [101:28]
A
It again in a week. I think they take it.
- [101:30]
D
I think some sort of planned tweet that's not, like, obviously too outrageous.
- [101:36]
A
Rage bait.
- [101:37]
B
That's pretty good.
- [101:38]
A
I love that.
- [101:39]
D
Yeah, it's pretty good.
- [101:40]
A
Weekly rage bait. Should that be the weekly lowest person's punishment?
- [101:45]
D
I was trying to think of what kind of zag and media you could do that could be funny like this. But I think that would be long form journalism. I just think it'd be a lightning rod.
- [101:54]
A
Weekly rage bait is good. This one's popular. But again, it's just basically whoever loses your least favorite, you tweet like, I'm.
- [102:01]
B
Glad Netflix supported Dave Chappelle. Right. No context at all. That's it.
- [102:14]
A
The jersey of the team you hate the you hate the most.
- [102:17]
B
That's a classic.
- [102:18]
A
Is either. And I think it's. I think it's either you wear it for an episode or it's behind you. Or it's behind you for like a week or two.
- [102:24]
D
Yeah, you got to wear it.
- [102:24]
A
I think you wear it for an entire episode. You got to wear it.
- [102:27]
B
Yeah.
- [102:27]
D
I did this for Christmas. I wore a Lakers when I was on NBA Countdown. We wore a Lakers sweater.
- [102:32]
A
Sweater.
- [102:32]
D
I had to wear a Lakers sweater. It was awful.
- [102:34]
B
That's a great one.
- [102:34]
A
What did you lose? Yellow.
- [102:35]
D
I forget. Jalen and I, we had some sort of bet and I lost and I had to wear Lakers.
- [102:39]
A
There's a Magic Johnson there, and you're just like, cross.
- [102:42]
D
Yeah, it was bad. It was bad.
- [102:43]
A
Did Magic Johnson give you for wearing a Lakers?
- [102:45]
D
He was delighted.
- [102:46]
A
Yeah. Delighted in my memory.
- [102:48]
B
That's a good one.
- [102:51]
A
I just. I just think Sal would love this. You get the winner. Everyone else in the league gets the throw tomatoes. Whoever comes in last, tomatoes.
- [102:59]
C
Very old school.
- [103:00]
A
And I'm telling you right now, like, I would if the last pick came around. And I'm like, that's the worst one left. I'm like, yeah, if I come in last, you guys can throw tomatoes. I mean, I'll take the last. Like, yeah, sure. Like, I think Sal would do it too. I think enough people are down.
- [103:11]
C
Some people throw tomatoes.
- [103:12]
B
Maybe.
- [103:12]
A
I assume we're not gonna. I feel like I don't want to throw a tomato at Mallory Rubin, but.
- [103:17]
C
People would throw tomatoes at you.
- [103:18]
D
Feels like people would love to violation.
- [103:20]
C
Right?
- [103:21]
B
I love this.
- [103:21]
A
I'll do it. I'm volunteering.
- [103:23]
B
I love this next one, which is the outro of whoever. Like, your podcast you have to say, you know, you'd be like, thanks, Caha. Thanks, Eduardo. And I got dead last in fantasy this year.
- [103:31]
D
You would have to stay that for, like, six months.
- [103:33]
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to. A predetermined amount of time. Maybe it's a week.
- [103:36]
B
Thanks to Carlos, thanks to Kai, thanks to Ronick. And I got last in my fantasy league. See you next week.
- [103:41]
A
Just to look a little.
- [103:42]
D
That's pretty good. It's pretty good.
- [103:44]
B
I mean, that's, like, probably the easiest.
- [103:45]
C
One you could do.
- [103:46]
D
Everyone in the draft has a podcast, right?
- [103:48]
A
I think so, yeah.
- [103:49]
B
Yeah.
- [103:49]
A
Could record an outro to the show and just like, they could be the tag at the end of the show every time.
- [103:53]
C
Yeah.
- [103:54]
A
This one I couldn't believe, but frosted tips.
- [103:57]
C
Oh, I love that.
- [103:57]
B
No one's doing that.
- [103:58]
A
He. He was the one he loves.
- [104:00]
B
Oh, dude.
- [104:02]
C
Yeah.
- [104:02]
D
Danny likes that.
- [104:04]
B
He can't really do it. Or wouldn't. His hair's not long enough to do it.
- [104:07]
C
It would be like a. It would be too cruel for us. We'd have to, like, grow out the. What hair we do have. So it's like the. You know, just like the ring around the Larry David. Yeah, Larry David.
- [104:17]
B
Or you have to bleach your beard.
- [104:18]
D
Well, is an ear piercing, like, in play or.
- [104:21]
B
No, like a permanent piercing or like, you have to wear a fake earring?
- [104:26]
A
Are you putting your piercing in the list?
- [104:27]
C
Ear piercing isn't that hardcore? I don't know.
- [104:29]
B
I feel like it's kind of hardcore.
- [104:31]
A
I think when I close this, you're putting a needle through Experience is. Craig is hiding behind the brass of the company, but Craig doesn't want to do that much stuff.
- [104:40]
B
I don't want to get my ear pierced. That's the only one. That's a huge deal.
- [104:43]
D
Then it has to go on.
- [104:45]
A
That's. We're adding ear piercing. Craig's drafted.
- [104:48]
D
That's like, I'm not piercing my ear.
- [104:51]
B
I could do my nipple instead.
- [104:52]
A
Yeah.
- [104:52]
B
All right.
- [104:53]
A
Oh, yeah, that's totally. Absolutely. Craig. Craig gets his belly burn piercing. TBD piercing. Tbd. Okay. If you want to pierce somewhere other than your ear. Absolutely. This one. I don't know if you're going to get this, but a lot of people were like, they should have to eat the same diet as Kai for a week. You know, Our beloved producer, Kai Grady. Are you aware of how, like, the food that he eats. He's the most limited palate we've ever heard of. He eats like eight. He eats like white chick, white rice.
- [105:20]
C
We went to Chipotle and in Seattle I think, you know, and I saw the receipt for his order and it was like some special chicken bowl, but it was like removed, like minus, minus everything. Excited, literally just rice and beef.
- [105:38]
A
We call him Guy Fieri, the mayor of flavorless diet. But anyway, it's all right. We can do another one.
- [105:43]
C
He like eats chicken nuggets.
- [105:46]
D
So you have to do the Kai diet for a whole week.
- [105:48]
C
Yeah, he eats like a six year old.
- [105:49]
A
Like Kai, I think would submit a list of things that he actually eats and you have to eat things like.
- [105:55]
D
Round four just to take it off the table.
- [105:57]
A
A lot of people submitted this. This is. I can't tell how I feel about this one. Rewatch your favorite teams worst loss ever. And you either have to do a recap pod or article for the company about it, which a lot of people submitted. I don't know if that actually works.
- [106:08]
D
Some people like the pain though.
- [106:09]
A
People love the pain.
- [106:12]
D
I watch Pat's Giants was on NFL Network. The first one, which we probably should have lost. The second one actually bothers me more. First one is like we kind of just lost. The Giants were better.
- [106:22]
A
Yeah, we were better. The second one I can't believe.
- [106:24]
D
Second one is like, how is that Giants team a champion?
- [106:27]
A
It's unbelievable.
- [106:28]
D
It's the weirdest champion we had in the century.
- [106:31]
A
The Giants score the game winning touchdown there, but because Mod Bradshaw's ass broke the goal line because he was trying to, they would let him score and he was trying not to score a touchdown and they won. It's bizarre.
- [106:38]
D
That actually probably is a good punishment.
- [106:40]
A
Yeah. Okay, so here, I'll, I, I'll throw that in there. The, this one is stupid, but I kind of have a feeling that some people will hate this. I think this is the easiest one and I have a feeling some people, everyone in the league submits a person that you would want the loser to call on their birthday and the birth and the loser has to call all 11 people like on their. So like I would submit like my mom. And then if like Craig came in last, he has to call my mother on her birthday and we have to do that every single people. He used to do that for all 11 other people. Everyone submits who they're calling.
- [107:08]
B
This is Heifetz.
- [107:09]
A
It's Craig Horlbeck. Hey, happy birthday.
- [107:11]
B
Ifitz would love to do that.
- [107:13]
A
Like everyone but Like. And part of me is like, that's easy. And part of me is like, man, Mal doesn't have time to make.
- [107:17]
B
I don't want to. I feel like you have to record them. I want. That needs to be content.
- [107:20]
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah. On the show, you have to call and say happy birthday.
- [107:22]
C
I think I don't even want to call for pizza.
- [107:24]
A
I just thought that was funny.
- [107:25]
D
That's really good call. So call nine row.
- [107:28]
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to call nine relatives and wish them happy birthday.
- [107:31]
D
Nine assigned relatives?
- [107:32]
A
Yeah.
- [107:33]
D
Why isn't an anchovy pizza on this?
- [107:35]
B
What do you mean, dude?
- [107:36]
A
Yeah, we eating an anchovy pizza.
- [107:38]
C
Eating an anchovy pizza.
- [107:39]
D
I just like when you think about, like, you have to finish two slices of anchovy pizza.
- [107:44]
B
Yeah.
- [107:45]
D
Who's like, cool, I love anchovy. Nobody likes.
- [107:48]
A
How about a whole anchovy pizza or three slices?
- [107:51]
B
Yeah.
- [107:51]
D
I mean, you said to do it all at once.
- [107:53]
B
That's not that bad.
- [107:53]
C
It's funny.
- [107:54]
A
I haven't yet.
- [107:55]
B
I mean, I don't love anchovies, but it's in Caesar salad dressing, like, you.
- [107:58]
D
Know, but it's just anchovy pizza. I feel like, put anything on it.
- [108:01]
A
This is where the full Italians are. Like, he's half.
- [108:03]
C
Well, the 90 are disgusting. This is like.
- [108:05]
B
I mean, I want to eat an anchovy, but anything that's just normal food. I feel like I could do that.
- [108:10]
C
Do you guys talk about anchovies?
- [108:11]
D
What else could we put on the pizza? That would be.
- [108:14]
A
This is where. But didn't you do the Subway sandwich thing with Sal? This is forever ago. And you were just like, wait. And you realize late in the game, you're like, wait. You can hit each other with anything on this. It's like, I feel like other people should get to pick what's on the pizza. And it has to be gross. It's gross enough. You can pick, but, like, the pizza place sells it, so it's not going to be like fear factor. So maybe order it specific to that person.
- [108:33]
B
I know. I don't know if there's anything gross.
- [108:35]
D
So you don't think eating is.
- [108:37]
A
No, I think a weird LA food would be funny. There's a lot of weird people eat in the city and like, weirder than anchovies. Oh, my God. I don't know. Mentioned beef tallow on the other show.
- [108:45]
D
Maybe I just discussed.
- [108:47]
B
That's just beef.
- [108:48]
A
I don't know. This is weird. I don't know, man. I think.
- [108:50]
C
I think anchovy pizza Is a Gen X millennials thing. Was it from. Was it from Ninja Turtles or what? Where did it originate? Because I remember growing up, anchovy pizzas.
- [109:00]
A
Was like, there's a lot of food.
- [109:01]
C
The grossest thing you could imagine.
- [109:03]
B
Oh, really?
- [109:03]
A
People. It was like, well, like, people are also scar. Like, my parents, Brussels sprouts and broccoli, because their parents would just boil them or whatever. And now they're. I'm like, yeah, that's fine. You can.
- [109:12]
D
We were in Boston, and I got a Caesar salad, and it had anchovy on it.
- [109:15]
C
And I was like, don't.
- [109:16]
D
No anchovy, please. The guy's like, okay. And then comes back and there's freaking two anchovies on my.
- [109:21]
B
I do hate that.
- [109:22]
D
I wanted to, like, throw it at it. It's like, I told you, no anchovies.
- [109:25]
B
But does it bother you that. Because I don't really think about it, that anchovies are just cut up into Caesar dressing.
- [109:30]
C
Does that bother you?
- [109:32]
D
Something about.
- [109:34]
A
Sit there.
- [109:34]
D
They just.
- [109:34]
A
I kind of not want Bill to have to eat anchovies. I kind of hold the pizza just straight at, like, a pound of anchovies.
- [109:42]
C
Anchovy pizza is from.
- [109:44]
D
What about anchovies, anchovies, mussels, and olive pizza?
- [109:46]
B
Oh, God.
- [109:47]
A
Anchovies, mussels.
- [109:48]
D
Yeah, mussels.
- [109:49]
C
No.
- [109:49]
D
Or anchovies, clams, and olives or something.
- [109:53]
C
Sure.
- [109:54]
A
There's something in there for everybody.
- [109:55]
B
All right.
- [109:56]
A
Yeah. You get an hour.
- [109:57]
C
It tastes like the sea.
- [109:59]
A
This is the loser must wear a thick puka shell necklace.
- [110:03]
C
This one I wrote.
- [110:04]
A
They wrote until they win another fantasy football game. I think, realistically, like, a week or a month is probably more accurate.
- [110:08]
C
I left a puka shell.
- [110:09]
A
One puka shell.
- [110:10]
C
I may or may not have worn a puka shell at one point in my life.
- [110:13]
B
Oh. When I was, like, nine years old and went to Hawaii with my family. I def back bleach tips. Puka shells for the next week at school.
- [110:20]
C
Yeah.
- [110:21]
A
Should we do cargo pants? Cargo shorts for the. The trip?
- [110:24]
C
They're coming back. Everything that I wore growing up is coming back.
- [110:27]
B
Yeah.
- [110:28]
A
Okay, the. This is dumb, but I. Loser has to release a song on Spotify. I just thought that was funny, but no, we're not going to. I feel like I'm doing.
- [110:36]
B
Ever do that?
- [110:37]
A
This is the dumbest one that made me laugh. Loser has to carry six loose hot dogs or half a box of cooked noodles in their pant pocket for 24 hours.
- [110:45]
B
A half a box of cooked noodles in your pants. Hot dogs like In a giant cardio.
- [110:52]
A
You have to have it on you for.
- [110:53]
B
For a day.
- [110:53]
A
Loose hot dogs for a full day.
- [110:55]
D
Be like 12 hours.
- [110:56]
B
Yeah. Is that a hot dog?
- [110:57]
A
Is that a hot dog in your pocket?
- [110:59]
B
Are you just happy to see me?
- [111:00]
A
Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. That's what could be.
- [111:02]
D
Could you add one about like the winner of the draft gets to tell the last place guy there's a concert. Has to be in like a 25 mile radius.
- [111:11]
C
This.
- [111:11]
D
And you have to go to this concert.
- [111:13]
C
I was thinking about that too. Like the worst.
- [111:14]
B
The worst.
- [111:15]
D
The worst possible concert.
- [111:16]
C
Yes.
- [111:16]
D
And you just have to go Benson Boone.
- [111:21]
C
See, that's what I was actually thinking that too. I like that. Just.
- [111:24]
A
But I was trying.
- [111:24]
C
Yeah.
- [111:25]
A
What's the punishment? You get to go to a concert.
- [111:27]
D
There's some concerts. Sometimes you're like. Imagine going to that.
- [111:30]
B
I'm sending you to a corn concert.
- [111:32]
C
The toughest hang.
- [111:33]
A
Oh, well, they do the this.
- [111:35]
D
They send high fits to the Wiggles. The Wiggles, like selling out box staples.
- [111:38]
B
You're gonna be on a list.
- [111:39]
D
High fits is the only.
- [111:41]
B
Yeah.
- [111:41]
A
Seriously.
- [111:42]
B
Wait, are you here with anybod?
- [111:43]
A
Where's your kids? Wow. That's actually. I actually. Yeah.
- [111:47]
B
That's good for getting Sarah Marshall.
- [111:48]
D
If it's a zygosh potato half potato.
- [111:50]
A
It's just going nuts. Yeah, that actually would be more. Okay.
- [111:53]
C
All right.
- [111:54]
A
That's not bad. All right. This one I think is the simplest. We just choose your phone background for a year.
- [112:00]
C
So like your lock screen.
- [112:02]
A
Yeah, we choose your lock screen for you.
- [112:03]
D
It should be lock screen. What's the thing? The holder thing?
- [112:07]
B
Phone case.
- [112:08]
D
Phone case.
- [112:09]
A
Oh, phone case.
- [112:10]
D
Lock screen, phone case.
- [112:12]
C
Some elaborate phone case.
- [112:13]
A
Okay.
- [112:13]
C
Yeah.
- [112:14]
D
Just like your phone is now dominated by the bad choices you made in fantasy. We think about it constantly. That's probably my favorite one.
- [112:20]
C
You think about that 1800 times a day.
- [112:23]
A
Yeah, that. That one actually quietly.
- [112:25]
B
I would get Bill. Pink glittery ones that has like bunny ears on it.
- [112:28]
C
It's like giant warm like that.
- [112:30]
B
Yeah.
- [112:30]
C
Remember the ones that.
- [112:31]
A
The.
- [112:31]
C
What is with the ones that have like the big thing that comes off the back so you can like hold it better.
- [112:36]
B
You're talking about the. What are those called?
- [112:38]
A
Pop sockets. But they're.
- [112:39]
C
But there's thousands. That would be my nightmare.
- [112:41]
D
And it has to be a. It has to be a lock screen photo of the guy that you hated the most. From your fantasy theme. Caught you being last place. Trevor Lawrence. The person gets to pick the picture. Just Staring at Trevor Lawrence every time.
- [112:55]
A
You go on your icon.
- [112:56]
B
Whipping his hair back. Yeah, yeah.
- [112:58]
A
You love the. Wear the Nelly bandaid on your face for a week.
- [113:00]
C
I think that's funny.
- [113:01]
A
That's. And then also.
- [113:04]
D
But never dressed.
- [113:05]
A
You don't.
- [113:05]
C
Yeah. You don't acknowledge it.
- [113:07]
A
You know what? And I think I love the headband.
- [113:09]
B
And you can't talk about it for one episode. I just can't, like, imagine Sean Fantasy talking about one battle after another just with a headband on, and he can't talk about it. I just think that's so good.
- [113:19]
A
The last one we've written down here is the loser has to slip Gen Z slang into podcast content for a week. I'm picturing it, like, every episode. Impractical jokers. We just give them a phrase and they have to use it in a sentence at some point.
- [113:31]
B
Yeah. We tell you that you have to slip the word mogging into an episode.
- [113:35]
A
Exactly.
- [113:36]
B
Good luck. Mogging. Mogging.
- [113:39]
C
Yeah, the mogging isn't. It's not a bad thing.
- [113:43]
B
No, not. We wouldn't give you anything.
- [113:44]
A
I actually don't know what mogging means. I've been pretending for, like, weeks. I actually have no idea what it means.
- [113:48]
C
Craig mogs us. Mogging is basically the attractive person takes pictures with ugly people to make themselves look bad.
- [113:55]
A
It's kind of like on hinge. It's like, generally speaking, the general rule is the hottest person in the photo in a group photo, like, that's the person. Because generally, you don't put your hotter friends in your hinge photos. Like, or else you're mogging. Like, they're so, like, I. You know now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [114:09]
D
Anyway, is there a phrase for putting the family photo when you put the person at the end who's not married to anybody but is dating somebody, and they go in the end because it's easier to crop them out.
- [114:19]
B
That was me for a while in Liz's family, and then I've slowly gotten more.
- [114:23]
D
Now you're like.
- [114:25]
C
You're the base of the pyramid.
- [114:26]
A
Oh, my God. So here's. So we got. Here's where we have.
- [114:29]
B
We have a good, like, 10 to 14.
- [114:31]
A
Let me see here. So this is. I might be forgetting some, but ones we have.
- [114:33]
D
So the coffee's the best one.
- [114:35]
A
1.
- [114:35]
D
No caffeine for, like, how do we enforce it?
- [114:38]
A
But how do we enforce that not everybody have coffee for a week?
- [114:41]
D
Honor among fantasy people. Okay, I totally abuse the honor and.
- [114:46]
A
Secretly have the coffee.
- [114:47]
D
Like, what are you guys talking about?
- [114:49]
C
Let me smell Your breath?
- [114:50]
D
Yeah, breath check.
- [114:52]
B
Coffee. Breathalyzer.
- [114:54]
D
Yeah.
- [114:55]
C
When you come into work.
- [114:56]
A
That's actually really funny. Do they have those?
- [114:58]
B
No idea.
- [114:59]
A
You looked really worried.
- [115:01]
B
Yeah.
- [115:03]
A
No coffee for a week.
- [115:04]
C
Why do you have five mints?
- [115:05]
A
Two cold cans of soup? We're putting Vanilla ice eye bracelets in here.
- [115:08]
C
Hell yes.
- [115:09]
D
How big are the cans?
- [115:11]
B
Like, normal.
- [115:11]
A
Like a Campbell can.
- [115:13]
D
Champion pick the soup.
- [115:14]
A
I think. I think that's the point of contention. I think. Yeah, because it's like the difference in tomato soup and like, clam chowder. Cold is brutal.
- [115:20]
B
Yeah.
- [115:21]
D
No, you can't do clam chowder.
- [115:22]
B
That.
- [115:22]
A
That's probably clam chicken.
- [115:23]
D
I like clam chowder. That has to be cooked, though.
- [115:26]
B
It is cooked well.
- [115:27]
A
It's like a hot dog.
- [115:28]
C
Some of those soups, when it's not.
- [115:29]
D
Clam chowder, feels like that's like, had it. How did High Fitz die? Oh, it's a long story. Fantasy draft. This cold clam chowder.
- [115:36]
B
Yeah, that's fine.
- [115:37]
A
Some of this. Two cold cans of soup not cooked.
- [115:39]
C
It's. There's like the gelatin looking stuff that it kind of cooks out or whatever when you warm it up.
- [115:44]
B
It's like the fat congealing.
- [115:45]
A
Yeah, that's not great. No coffee Flav. Two cool cans of soup.
- [115:49]
B
Maybe I would shave my eyebrows.
- [115:51]
A
Vanilla Ice eyebrows headband during a pod, but can't address it. Your idea for Weekly Rage Bait.
- [115:56]
C
I like that a lot.
- [115:57]
B
I guess that one.
- [115:59]
C
I think that one. That one in particular would make me draft one of my punishments early.
- [116:04]
B
Anyone coming to coming around on Tucker Carlson lately?
- [116:08]
D
Gut feels doing some good stuff.
- [116:10]
C
He had a good point, actually.
- [116:15]
A
Weekly Rage Bait. That's five. So the outro to the show that I lost the league, like, how long do you want that? A week? A month? How long do you have to do that? A week isn't that much.
- [116:24]
B
That one's so easy. You should do that for a month.
- [116:26]
D
The tweet things go me. Has Yang been in a funny sketch yet? People are like, what the.
- [116:31]
B
Should I start a Gaza pod?
- [116:33]
C
Oh, geez.
- [116:34]
B
Comment below.
- [116:35]
A
Oh, my God. So wait, the key point for that. Do you have to write it or do we. Does like, S win and S gets to write these on your account?
- [116:44]
B
Well, you don't just get to pick what you post.
- [116:46]
C
No, you can't do it.
- [116:47]
B
There has to be some vetting process.
- [116:48]
D
I think that champ. Yeah, the champ gets to write the post.
- [116:51]
A
Oh, my God.
- [116:53]
C
Yeah. We need to make a committee that will decide whether they're gonna have A committee.
- [116:58]
A
Okay, so rewatch your favorite team's worst loss ever. Do content on it. Do we want that one? I think that was too boring. Yeah, it's kind of lame. I agree.
- [117:07]
D
People would actually enjoy it.
- [117:08]
A
Yeah. So anchovy pizza, this one. I. I think it should just be straight anchovies. We hate anchovies so much. It's like you get cheese and bread for your. Because you lost. It's like you just have to eat anchovies.
- [117:18]
D
Anchovies is really gross.
- [117:20]
A
Yeah. You have to plan. You can go into a deli and buy like a half pound or whatever. Anchovies and like, that's lunch.
- [117:25]
B
No, I like the pizza.
- [117:27]
A
Yeah. All right. We're gonna get triple the anchovies, though.
- [117:31]
B
Fine.
- [117:31]
A
Like, otherwise you're gonna get away. I don't know. I think you're kind of triple.
- [117:34]
B
Anchovy pizza's fine.
- [117:35]
A
That one's. That one's like. You get pizza for lunch and like. Oh, no.
- [117:38]
D
I might draft that in like round five. Just take that out.
- [117:42]
A
The birthday call one everyone submits. Should we have two. Should be 22 calls a year.
- [117:46]
B
No, no.
- [117:48]
C
Can you text?
- [117:49]
B
I think 11. I think nine calls.
- [117:51]
A
11. Okay. Are they on air or off air?
- [117:54]
B
Well, I don't. How would you.
- [117:55]
A
It could be anyone you want. It could be a random person. It could be a friend. It could be someone.
- [117:59]
B
You'd be hard to record that.
- [118:00]
A
Okay, So I find 11 calls. When are the draft. You guys really want to do this concert thing? You're gonna send me the.
- [118:05]
C
I like the concert thing.
- [118:05]
B
Concert's pretty funny.
- [118:07]
A
Concert. We choose your phone, Bradford.
- [118:09]
D
It would be really fun to figure out what concert too. I feel like I'd spend like 12.
- [118:13]
C
Hours.
- [118:15]
D
Looking at like Anaheim and Orange County.
- [118:17]
C
You gotta go to the concert in like scene garb. Like the clothes of the scene. Right? So like whatever the scene is. Insane Clown Posse or Taylor Swift or whatever you have to dress up like.
- [118:28]
B
Taylor Swift would be. That's an expensive night out, right?
- [118:31]
A
Oh, I forgot my favorite one that anyone emailed that Craig insisted. Craig didn't want me to even talk with. He was like, they'll never do that. And I was like, in la, they have obviously a lot of gym classes here. They also have. Have. They have boot camps. They also have booty camps, which are for twerking. So the loser has to do a 90 minute twerk boot. Like a booty camp. Learn to twerk.
- [118:50]
B
Yeah, right?
- [118:52]
D
It's pretty good.
- [118:55]
B
You would do that?
- [118:55]
D
Well, can there be video of it?
- [118:57]
A
There would have. I said there has to be video of it. They would never.
- [119:00]
B
They would never. Sal doing twerking.
- [119:04]
D
I wouldn't do that.
- [119:06]
A
But if you. But if you like, oh, I'm a man. Like, I'm gonna. And it falls to you in the draft, and then you lose and you come in last. You're. Do it. No. God damn it. All right, fine. So we actually.
- [119:18]
B
We have the phone case in the phone background.
- [119:20]
A
So we have. So, yeah, sorry, no coffee for week two. Cold cans of soup. Vanilla Ice. Eyebrow slits. Headband during a pod. Can't address it. Weekly rage Bait, but, God, that's wild. Recorded outro to the show is 6. Anchovy pizza. 7. That one. I. I can't believe pizza's a punishment. Birthday calls is 8. Winner of the draft is. Or LA concert is 9. Choose your phone background for years. 10. And then we still actually have puka shells. Do we want puka necklace?
- [119:44]
B
I like that.
- [119:44]
A
Do you know what those are? Be very quiet for that. I do, yeah.
- [119:47]
B
I mean, it's not that bad.
- [119:48]
D
Let's talk about weekly rage Bait. When is going to make a good movie?
- [119:52]
A
Scrap this entire idea. Just a. Weekly rage bait is what happens. Should we just scrap that?
- [119:57]
D
I'd be so excited. Every Tuesday at 1 for when weekly rage Bait came out.
- [120:01]
A
Whenever the week's gonna be. How about we pull that out of this pool? But it actually. No, no, no. What if whoever scores the lowest points each week, we get to do. Do it to them?
- [120:09]
C
No, the weekly.
- [120:10]
A
It's.
- [120:10]
D
It has to be.
- [120:11]
B
Did Oscar so white go too far?
- [120:13]
A
Right? My God, that. That would be. That is good.
- [120:18]
D
It's almost like the Colin.
- [120:19]
A
The.
- [120:20]
D
The che. Colin. When they write the things.
- [120:24]
C
Yeah.
- [120:25]
D
You're just kind of trapped, putting it out in the world and people just getting furious.
- [120:29]
B
Yeah.
- [120:29]
A
Yeah. Oh, the only one that we not on the list, Right. The piercings. Do we want the piercings on the list? Do we want 10, or do we want to have like 13? 14?
- [120:35]
C
I think you gotta have more.
- [120:36]
A
Okay, so then piercings is. Piercings is 11.
- [120:38]
C
Did you add puka?
- [120:40]
A
Puka shells is 12.
- [120:41]
C
Also piercings is pretty fun, like the Flavor Flav.
- [120:45]
A
Oh, the metal.
- [120:46]
D
Yeah, the metal line cross piercings. I did look at, like, mutilating your butt, right?
- [120:51]
B
Apparently if you pierce your ear and you don't keep the earring in, it'll close back up in a day. So maybe it's not that bad.
- [120:57]
C
I still feel like HR would be.
- [120:58]
D
Like, maybe for the earring. Maybe it's Like a fake earring, but you just have to wear it on your pod for like two weeks.
- [121:05]
A
Like the. Michael.
- [121:05]
B
I'm fine with that.
- [121:06]
C
Yeah. Like a fake earring works.
- [121:09]
B
Okay.
- [121:09]
A
That's a huge difference. All right, all right, all right.
- [121:15]
D
Yeah, I guess piercing's probably a line cross.
- [121:17]
A
Okay. We're out of. Sats are too much. Okay. So there we go.
- [121:20]
B
So that.
- [121:21]
A
That comes out to 13 ideas.
- [121:22]
B
That's great.
- [121:22]
A
I think that's good.
- [121:23]
B
And we have one. I think we should have one free space. There should be one. No punishment that you can draft just in case you get last year. There'd be no punishment for you. So how early would you take that?
- [121:32]
A
It does create. You know what it does? It reveals the cowards.
- [121:35]
B
It throws a wrench into the draft.
- [121:38]
C
It does. Because I'm going to be drafting my punishment early so I don't get stuck with rage bait.
- [121:42]
B
Exactly.
- [121:43]
C
Like that one is by far the most hard.
- [121:46]
A
You know. You know, I'm not going to give you any draft advice here, but I'm just.
- [121:49]
B
It's going to be the 10th round and somebody's going to look at that no punishment option and be like, you know what? Fuck it.
- [121:53]
A
Yeah. When you start getting to like basal tootin or no punishment, that's kind of. You know what it's like.
- [121:58]
C
I'll pick up somebody on the waiver wire.
- [121:59]
B
Yeah. And then you're a coward.
- [122:01]
A
Yeah.
- [122:01]
B
It's like hitting cup in beer pong.
- [122:03]
D
You know, I. I feel like Van would intentionally lose so he could do the Rage Bay tweet every week.
- [122:08]
A
He's going to run it himself.
- [122:09]
D
He's going to have the best tanking like the Sixers.
- [122:13]
C
God, I like that one.
- [122:14]
A
Should. Should the rule be for Van? We have to write really normal takes on his.
- [122:17]
B
Right.
- [122:17]
C
Just like the most milk toast takes.
- [122:20]
D
Good luck to Notre Dame this year.
- [122:22]
A
Yeah.
- [122:23]
B
Just Magic Johnson take.
- [122:24]
A
Yeah, oh, totally. Yeah.
- [122:27]
D
Oh, a month of Magic Johnson tweets would be good, too.
- [122:29]
A
Wait, let's add that, too. Let's add that, too.
- [122:34]
B
I might draft that first round so.
- [122:37]
A
I can get it over Jamar Chase. Just 101.
- [122:39]
B
I actually want rage bait. This is why quarterbacks should never paint their nails.
- [122:43]
C
But Craig is. Craig, you are actually, like, born to do the rage bait.
- [122:49]
D
He's the same person who did the cannibalism. Had escape.
- [122:52]
C
That's what I'm saying.
- [122:54]
B
Yeah.
- [122:55]
A
Oh, my God. That's pretty good. All right.
- [122:57]
D
This is good.
- [122:57]
A
Good to. All right, great. All right. Thank you for coming on.
- [123:00]
D
Thanks for having Me.
- [123:01]
A
Yeah. And so there we go. So ringer fantasy football YouTube channel Monday, 1 Pacific 4 Eastern. I won't be thinking about it that.
- [123:09]
C
Time he cracked the code on.
- [123:10]
A
I know you got it right. All right, so, yeah, we're gonna. It's gonna be really awesome. So. Yeah, and we'll. We can't wait for Craig. What are your posts gonna be?
- [123:18]
B
Quarterbacks shouldn't paint their nails.
- [123:19]
A
Yeah, there you go. Can't wait for more of that. All right, thank you to Bill. Thank you, Craig. Thank you, dk. Thank you to Kahal. Thank you to Carlos. Thank you, Ronick. Thank you, Kai. Thank you, everyone, for making the show. Thank you everyone who emailed in all the punishments, except for the people who thought that you guys would eat hot, like 70 hot dogs a week. That was insane. And of course, thank you, Lorne, Lauren.
- [123:38]
C
Bill, do you want to shoot? Do you want to do it?
- [123:39]
D
I'm Danny Heifetz, and I lost my fantasy league. That's a good one.
- [123:43]
B
It's so good.
- [123:45]
C
Bill, do you want to shout out a band?
- [123:46]
B
Yeah, you have to shout out a band. At the end of every show, we shout out a band.
- [123:49]
A
Buffalo time.
- [123:49]
C
Oh, there we go.
- [123:50]
B
Buffalo time.
- [123:51]
A
Buffalo.
- [123:52]
B
Oh, Buffalo Toms. I don't know who that is.
- [123:54]
C
I'm not familiar.
- [123:55]
D
There you go. 90s.
- [123:56]
A
Dang.
- [123:57]
D
I was trying.
- [123:57]
B
You had that really ready to go.
- [123:59]
C
I know. That was like no time at all.
- [124:01]
A
You like just listening or is that just listening?
- [124:04]
D
They were in my head.
- [124:04]
A
How did. How did you.
- [124:07]
D
Early 90s mix that I have.
- [124:09]
A
Okay. Yeah.
- [124:10]
B
Buffalo Tom.
- [124:11]
C
Alt rock. Yeah.
- [124:13]
B
Love it, Bill. Jan of its.
- [124:15]
A
Yeah.
- [124:15]
B
Okay, great.
- [124:19]
A
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B
And skydiving could never be part of your commute. You'd never climb Mount Fuji on a.
- [125:18]
A
Port visit or fly so fast you break the sound barrier.
- [125:24]
B
Joining the Navy sounds crazy. Saying never actually is.
- [125:28]
A
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