Power Ranking Week 2 Overreactions, Fantasy Court, and the Gen Z Spelling Bee

Summary

The Ringer Fantasy Football Show

Episode: Power Ranking Week 2 Overreactions, Fantasy Court, and the Gen Z Spelling Bee
Date: September 17, 2025
Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, Craig Horlbeck

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Episode Overview

This high-energy episode is all about embracing the chaos of the NFL season after two weeks. The hosts—Heifetz, Kelly, and Horlbeck—throw underreactions out the window and rank the boldest week 2 fantasy football "overreactions" that might actually be the truth. The show also dives into fantasy ethics in "Fantasy Court," listener emails (including a legendary bachelor party story), and finally features Kai in a Gen Z Spelling Bee, decoding youth slang for the uninitiated. Expect a largely playful, loose, and tangent-filled vibe typical of the Ringer Fantasy pod.

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Key Segments & Takeaways

1. Opening: Declaring the Underreaction Era Over

[02:37]

• The hosts are done "taking a breath"; after two weeks, it’s time to start panicking and buying what we see.
• Heifetz: “We’re gonna go through. We’re gonna do our overreactions. We’re serious though. These are things that actually, we at least kind of actually believe after two weeks.”
• The episode will include power rankings of overreactions, a fantasy court, emails, and the long-awaited Gen Z Spelling Bee.

2. Injury Madness and "Old Guy" Talk

[02:54]–[05:06]

• Sean McVay’s sideline injury (torn plantar fascia) opens up old-guy injury chat.
• The hosts joke about the inevitability of random injuries as you age.
• Kelly: “Old injuries start to crop back up… Like, you know, my old war wounds are coming back.”

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Power Ranking Week 2 Overreactions

(Each overreaction gets ~3 minutes discussion time—timestamped for each take)

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1. Micah Parsons Trade: Underreacted, Still Not Enough

[06:14]

• Kelly: “Micah Parsons trade is maybe one of the most impactful non-quarterback trades of all time.”
• Packers’ defense is now a juggernaut, with Parsons being a “force multiplier.”
• Key stats: Packers holding elite offenses (Lions, Commanders) to 15 PPG, 3.7 yards/play, 8 sacks, and 21 QB hits over two games.
• Heifetz: “Packers can win a lot of games a lot of different ways now.”

“He’s the true definition of a force multiplier.” — Danny Kelly [08:03]

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2. The Vikings Letting Go of Sam Darnold: A Sneaky Major Mistake

[09:33]

• Heifetz questions the rare decision for a 14-win team to let their QB go (Darnold).
• Comparison with other QB transitions: only successful ones are the Packers’ Favre-to-Rodgers and Chiefs’ Smith-to-Mahomes (both rare).
• Craig notes the team was in a tough spot, but “JJ McCarthy being hurt ruined it.”
• Now Vikings are short-handed due to McCarthy’s high ankle sprain; team could spiral.

“I just think it was a very unfortunate situation. JJ being hurt ruined it.” — Craig Horlbeck [12:29]

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3. Eagles Offense: The New Fantasy Sinkhole?

[13:53]

• Craig panicking: “I’m starting to believe the Eagles offense is turning into a fantasy sinkhole.”
• Hurts has no passing TDs; dead last in big plays; offense looks boring.
• Kelly: Hurts is limited as a passer, exacerbated by another new OC (Kevin Patullo).
• Heifetz: Eagles got off to a slow start last season but could bounce back; “They win ugly.”
• Team’s reliance on the tush push may correct itself as refs adjust.

“It is crazy how boring this offense is.” — Craig Horlbeck [14:00]

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4. Chiefs: The Dynasty Is Crumbling?

[17:21]

• Kelly: “The age of the Chiefs might be ending at this point.”
• Heifetz cites Super Bowl loss letdown, pointing to spiral (“depression”) that afflicts former dominant teams; exhaustion likened to 90s Bulls and Warriors.
• Chiefs have started 0-2, and upcoming schedule is tough.
• Craig: “I kind of do think the Chiefs are going to miss the playoffs, though, to be honest.”
• Heifetz: “The Chiefs’ expectation was where the 90s Bulls [were]... It’s tiring to do this.”

“Losing the Super Bowl for most teams turns into like a self destructive feedback.” — Danny Kelly [17:54]

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5. Mike McDaniel: On the Hot Seat in Miami

[21:52]

• Heifetz dubs McDaniel “pre-fired,” citing despondent press conferences and bad energy.
• Losses, defensive disasters, and high spending put target on McDaniel.
• Thursday night’s Dolphins-Bills might be his last game as coach.
• Kelly: “It’s a huge jump to go from coordinator to head coach… It does not appear that [McDaniel] has it. I’m not in their meetings, but…”

“I actually think this Thursday football game between Dolphins and Bills, I think this is Mike McDaniel's last game as the Dolphins coach.” — Danny Heifetz [22:46]

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6. Ashton Jeanty: Causes for Concern

[25:37]

• Craig’s overreaction: “I'm a little concerned” about Jeanty.
• Audibly frustrated/low energy body language; poor OL play; being taken out on two-minute drills.
• Kelly: “Can’t wait for Ashton Jeanty’s second contract on a good team, man.”
• Rookie RB pains—patience advised, but usage and frustration signals worth monitoring.

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7. Brandon Aubrey (Cowboys K): Should Be OPOY!? Kickers Are OP

[30:16]

• Heifetz: Aubrey, after nailing a 64-yarder easily, is best “offensive player” in NFL.
• Kickers are better than ever (“juice balls” era, improved technique, coaches letting them cook from 60+).
• 50-yard FGs now hit at rate of “Michael Jordan from the line” compared to “Shaq” in the early 2000s.

“We are in the golden age of kicking.” — Danny Heifetz [31:18]

Tangent: New Kickoff Rule Is Weird

[34:13]

• Craig: “Kickoff rule is stupid… getting the ball at the 35 yard line sucks.”
• Positioning and easier scoring changes late-game strategy.
• Kelly points out that less work to reach field goal range could increase scoring, but also makes defensive stops less meaningful.

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8. Travis Hunter: Two-Way Star, or Just a Pair of Backups?

[39:31]

• Craig: “He’s a #3 WR and a #3 CB right now… The jokes about [Hunter] being expensive Wan’Dale Robinson or Cole Beasley on offense… the guy averages 3.9 yards/target.”
• The risk: You don’t get a star at either spot, just two rotational pieces for the price of the 2nd pick.
• Heifetz: “The worst-case scenario is you... paid for two, but you’re getting a really good 4th or 5th rounder at each—catastrophe.”
• Still early, but if November comes and there’s no uptick, concerns will be real.

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9. Daniel Jones & the Colts: Did the Giants Make a Mistake?

[43:02]

• Heifetz wonders if releasing Jones was wise given the instant Colts’ success.
• Jones: “Final 15 games he went 3-12. Now he’s... the difference in Indy.”
• The Richardson-to-Jones transition drew parallels to other hasty QB discards (Darnold, Mayfield).
• “It would be nice to have a guy like that [Jones] right now.” — Danny Kelly [43:50]
• Craig notes the biggest story: “Anthony Richardson was worse than we thought. My God.”

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Fantasy Court: Ethics of Trading with Newbies

[54:17]

• Austin, a commissioner, asks: What is fair trade etiquette with total fantasy newbies?
• Kelly: Use trade evaluators as evidence of fairness; mentorship over fleecing.
• Heifetz: “The goal is to get them to like fantasy so they return, not to crush their spirit for a win. Don’t waffle—pick your lane.”

“Just don’t be a piece of [bleep]…” — Danny Kelly [59:00]

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Listener Emails and Stories

Bachelor Party Story: The Strip Club Twist
[63:19]

• Hilarious email from a Packers-fan listener in Paraguay, who finds out too late that the local “strip club” for a bachelor party is his friend’s grandmother’s old house.
• The hosts crack up, saying it’s like a weird dream or movie.

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Gen Z Spelling Bee with Kai

[68:15]

• Kai joins to quiz DK on Gen Z (and Gen Alpha) slang, sparking genuine confusion and laughter.
• Notable words:
  • Clanker: Derogatory term for AI/robots (from meme culture)
  • Chopped: Ugly (“Just found out I'm chopped”)
  • Unk: Old guy
  • Cracking: Having sex
  • Phenomenal comms: Good communication (from gaming)
• The segment is a highlight for its intergenerational confusion and DK’s attempts to parse modern slang.

“You never know, DK. One day your son could be dating a clanker.” — Craig Kalkbrenner [71:32]

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Other Memorable Quotes & Moments

• “When you get old, you’re going to see this. Just simple movements…” — Danny Kelly [03:40]
• On the Chiefs: “It’s exhausting to play that many games. Michael Jordan went and played baseball because he was so tired.” — Danny Heifetz [19:54]
• “We are in the golden age of kicking… There are only two kinds of kickers: weapons from 60 yards and guys who can’t make PATs.” — Danny Heifetz [33:12]
• Bachelor party strip club: “We finally get to the strip club... and it’s Michael’s grandmother’s house.” — Email [65:01]
• Gen Z: “Cracking and chopped are my two favorite [slang]. Cracking a clanker? That’s next level.” — Danny Kelly [78:02]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Opening Theme/Set-Up: [00:12]
• Injury Tangents / Old Guy Chat: [02:54]
• Power Ranking Overreactions Start: [06:14]
• Parsons Trade: [06:14]–[09:26]
• Vikings/Darnold: [09:33]–[13:44]
• Eagles Fantasy Sinkhole: [13:53]–[17:21]
• Chiefs Decline: [17:21]–[21:52]
• Mike McDaniel's Hot Seat: [21:52]–[25:37]
• Ashton Jeanty Panic: [25:37]–[30:16]
• Kicking Revolution: [30:16]–[34:13]
• Kickoff Rule Tangent/Bigger Picture: [34:13]–[39:31]
• Travis Hunter Debate: [39:31]–[43:01]
• Daniel Jones / Colts Overreaction: [43:02]–[47:14]
• Fantasy Court: [51:46]–[61:06]
• Listener Emails/Bachelor Party: [63:19]–[68:15]
• Gen Z Spelling Bee: [68:15]–[79:46]

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Overall Tone and Style

• Characteristically loose, irreverent, and fast-moving
• Frequent inside jokes, tangents, and asides
• Blend of fantasy insights with culture and pure comedy
• Language is conversational, occasionally crude but approachable, with affectionate ribbing among hosts

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Conclusion

After two wild weeks, the pod embraces the chaos: power ranking spicy “overreactions” that might shape the season, dissecting fantasy trade ethics, reading all-time listener emails, and even learning to decipher Generation Z slang. Despite their panics, the hosts keep things grounded in fun, reminding fantasy managers to be both ruthless and kind—and never, ever date a clanker (at least not under your roof).

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Transcript

[Danny Kelly]

Foreign.

[Danny Heifetz]

Welcome to the Ringer Fantasy Football show. My name is Danny Hyphen. Today I'm joined by Danny Killing Craig. Worldbecker. Today, it is power hour. Every Wednesday, we power rank something. This week we are power ranking our over reactions after week two. Last week, we're like everyone chilled. One week underreacting. Week two, honestly, we've seen everything we need to see, right, dk?

[Danny Kelly]

We are done taking a breath. We are done underreacting. We're ready to go like full throated on this, which is also the weirdest expression. But we're doing it. We're going for it.

[Danny Heifetz]

Pause.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Yeah, yeah, big pause.

[Danny Heifetz]

No, but actually though, we're gonna panic. So yeah, we're gonna go through. We're gonna do our overreactions. We're serious though. These are things that actually, we at least kind of actually believe after two weeks and we're trying.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

We're starting to believe.

[Danny Heifetz]

Starting to believe. Yes. Starting to believe it's probably real. We're gonna go through fantasy core. We're going through emails, we're gonna see Gen Z spelling bee. Kai gonna come on DK on some brand new segment.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Can't wait.

[Danny Heifetz]

Great. Bachelor party email. Okay, all that coming up after the break. This episode of the Ringer Fantasy Football show is presented by Hyundai. The all new Hyundai Palisade hybrid proves that an incredible SUV is so much more than the sum of its parts. It's more than a spacious interior. It's more than being able to navigate difficult terrain. And it's way more than driving farther than you ever thought possible. Possible. It's the all new Hyundai Palisade hybrid. So much more than just another SUV. Visit HyundaiUSA.com or call 562-314-4603 for more.

[Danny Kelly]

This episode is supported by FX Is the Lowdown starring Ethan Hawke. Allow us to introduce you to Lee.

[Danny Heifetz]

Raybon, a quirky journalist, rare bookstore owner, slash unofficial truth seeker who is always on the tail of his latest conspiracy. This time, his most recent expose puts him head to head with a powerful family that rules Tulsa.

[Danny Kelly]

Meaning only one thing.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

He must be onto something big.

[Danny Heifetz]

FX is the lowdown. Premieres September 23rd on FX, stream on Hulu.

[Danny Kelly]

This is a real good story about.

[Danny Heifetz]

Bronx and his dad, Ryan, real United Airlines customers. We were returning home and one of the flight attendants asked Bronx if he wanted to see the flight deck and meet Kath and Andrew.

[Danny Kelly]

I got to sit in the driver's seat. I grew up in an aviation family and seeing Bronx kind of reminded me of myself when I Was that age? That's Andrew, a real United pilot. These small interactions can shape a kid's future. It felt like I was the captain.

[Danny Heifetz]

Allowing my son to see the flight deck will stick with us forever.

[Danny Kelly]

That's how good leads the way.

[Danny Heifetz]

Details. All right, we're get to power ranking or overreactions after two weeks. However, first we actually have to do some breaking news here. We're recording this Tuesday afternoon. I don't know if you guys saw. There's another devastating NFL injury along with the quarterback bloodbath. Sean McVeigh tore his planter fashion his foot during Rams Titans.

[Danny Kelly]

Ah, ouch.

[Danny Heifetz]

I don't know if other coaches have had an injury like this during a game, but they've at least lied about it successfully.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

A coach recently tear their Achilles on the sideline or something?

[Danny Heifetz]

I don't know. Harbaugh had like, a heart issue during a game last season, which I don't think.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, that was scary.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, that's like, scary, but this is. Well, I'm one to joke after. I just, like, hurt my hamstring at a bachelor party, but, like, it's. It's a little.

[Danny Kelly]

He was going to call a timeout.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, he was running a timeout towards plantar fascia.

[Danny Kelly]

Damn, that hurts.

[Danny Heifetz]

Craig, how do you feel about your brother Sean McVeigh?

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

I feel bad for my guy. How do you do that? How do you tear your plantar fascia? Just on the sideline hanging out. What happened?

[Danny Kelly]

How.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

How did that happen?

[Danny Heifetz]

It's athletic. He's running.

[Danny Kelly]

I don't know, man. When you get old, Craig, you're. You're going to. You're. You're going to start to see this. Just simple movements.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

I know he's probably almost 48, 39.

[Danny Heifetz]

Well, it's like pickleball, where it's like all these people are getting hurt. Pickleball is like the perfect way to tear your Achilles because just older people moving forward really suddenly.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Yeah. See pickleball. I actually fully understand people getting injured. Oh, it was the 49ers defensive back coach last year tore his Achilles.

[Danny Kelly]

Geez.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

On the sideline.

[Danny Kelly]

Craig, this is. This is a. I'm sure the people 40 and over will have. Will relate to this, but there are times where I'm just literally doing nothing, not anything sitting. And you get up and you're like, ow, my foot hurts. Yeah, there's something wrong. I have a broken toe or I have a broken bone in my foot or something. And then you walk for a while and it goes away. Yeah, no, I Like, weird pain.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

I was at a bar on Saturday night, and we were, like, jumping up and down and dancing, which I'm already getting maybe a little bit too old to do. And the next morning, like, a bone in my foot hurt for a day.

[Danny Kelly]

The thing that actually happens, which is wild, is old injuries start to crop back up. So, like, I hurt my knee playing basketball way back in the day, or I hurt my ankle, you know, wakeboarding a bunch back in the day, and those injuries actually don't ever, I don't think fully heal. They just kind of go away for a while. And as you get older, you're like, damn. It's like. Like, you know, my old war, like, wounds are coming back. It's crazy.

[Danny Heifetz]

So we're gonna. Yeah, it's just really funny. That's. Yeah. Sorry, Sean. We're gonna power rank now. The overreactions for after two weeks that we're actually starting to believe. Dk, age before beauty. Since, you know, you have all your old injuries starting to resurface, we want to make sure we get you in.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

If you ranked these. Did. Did you rank these according to the takes that you believed in the most?

[Danny Heifetz]

I would describe these as roughly the order that I kind of believe. I roughly. I agree with slash with a little cheating for thematic narrative.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Okay.

[Danny Heifetz]

Honestly, he's an artist.

[Danny Kelly]

He's an artist.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Magic.

[Danny Heifetz]

I ranked these 80% in the order I believe them. And then a little bit also, things just. I just topics in the order we should hit them, to be honest.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

But a soft power ranking.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Okay.

[Danny Heifetz]

Soft power.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Three minutes on the clock. We're doing.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, we're doing three minutes because these are actual takes, and we want to talk about them. So it's number one, dk, things we actually are starting to believe after two weeks, like, overreactions, we actually kind of believe number one hit us.

[Danny Kelly]

We actually. The Micah Parsons trade is actually a bigger deal than we made it out, and we flipped out. We had. We spent, like, an hour talking about this and how it was, like, the worst trade of all time. I think the Micah Parsons trade is maybe the. One of the most impactful non quarterback trades of all time.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

So you're saying we didn't overreact enough?

[Danny Kelly]

Yes. We should have overreacted more. I thought I was being a prisoner of the moment because during the preseason, we do our, like, preseason predictions, who's going to win the super bowl, all that stuff. I thought I was being a little bit of a prisoner of the moment when I picked the packers to win the nfc. I should have gone harder. I wasn't going hard enough. They should. They're going to win the Super Bowl. This is like the biggest juggernaut team in the NFL right now. Watching that defense and watching the impact that Parsons makes every time he rushes the passer, I'm like, I don't know how anyone's going to beat this defense. It's so good.

[Danny Heifetz]

You know what's funny, it's crazy is that Parsons has barely practiced with the team because he got there with. Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

And he's not even played like a.

[Danny Heifetz]

Full stats and then they did Thursday football. So he's like, frankly, this coming week is going to be the first time we've actually seen him with the full week. And then he's going to play the Cowboys in week four and Sunday Night Football, which is going to be this crazy showcase. You can already hear Collinsworth talking about Michael Parsons in the trade. Like, but it is amazing how can.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

You get rid of this guy.

[Danny Heifetz]

It is amazing though, how much it's like everything else in sports, I think when you add a great guy and everyone slots down a slot in terms of how important they are and everyone looks better. It's like when Rashawn Gary is your second best pass rusher and Devon Devonte Wyatt, defensive tackle Lucas Van Ness, like, all these guys are first round picks on their defensive line that now look way better. All their linebackers are both their linebackers, like Quay Walker and Adrian Cooper at top 45 picks. Their safeties, like, everyone looks better. Michael Parsons there. Yeah, I think, I think you're right. Jeff Halfley's doing a great job as the coordinator. Like the package defense looks amazing.

[Danny Kelly]

He's the true. Yeah, he's the true definition of a force multiplier. And by the way, the two teams they've played so far this year were two of the most electric offenses we saw in the NFL last year. The Lions and the Commanders. Through two games, obviously very small sample, they're giving up 15 points per game. They're allowing 3.7 yards per play, best in the NFL. They have eight sacks, which is second most in the NFL, and 21 quarterback hits, which is first pressure rates, top five. And by the way, they have a really good offense. So this team just looks to me like just a. Like a buzz saw.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

It was a team that needed some stars and I feel like they got their star on the offensive side of the ball. I have it to make a great point. Like they had a bunch of B +A minus players that can now Slot down. And now they're overqualified and in the roles they're playing. And then even on the offense, it's like if Matthew golden works out, he can kind of become the number one receiver on that team. But we're seeing another star break out in the offensive side of the ball, which is Tucker Kraft, who is starting to look like one of the better tight ends in the league. And so you're kind of seeing on both sides of the ball them finding their blue chippers that can take them from like an NFC championship team to.

[Danny Heifetz]

A super Green Bay's. You also uniquely suited to win a lot of games a lot of different ways. There we go. Tom. Tom, baby. Oh, yeah. Every three minutes you're gonna hear that sound. Yeah. The packers can win the ball a bunch of different ways. Jordan was pushing the ball downfield, so yeah, I agree. Underreacted. Micah Parsons. All right.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

He's pretty good.

[Danny Heifetz]

Good guy.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

He's good.

[Danny Kelly]

Bill Simmons running down the hallway coming into our recording was underreacting.

[Danny Heifetz]

Number two overreactions. After two weeks into the NFL season, we actually believe the Vikings probably should have kept Sam Darnold. That was dumb. Letting him go. We all kind of just let that one happen. I, I first of all, am I, am I being a prisoner of the moment? I know Darnold's not amazing and he really flamed out the final two weeks. But Hayden Winks at underdog pointed this out. When's the next time a 14 win team's gonna let their quarterback go?

[Danny Kelly]

It's so rare. Yeah.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

When? I mean, like I can't have. Can you think of a different time in which it was even a conversation?

[Danny Kelly]

Well, the, the Chiefs went, I think 12 and 4 when they had Alex. Yeah, I'm just going off memory. And then they went to Patrick Mahomes. That worked out.

[Danny Heifetz]

Brett Favre but made the N championship game and then wanted to keep doing the I'm retiring, I'm not retiring thing. And the packers were like, see ya. Like we're gonna go to Rogers.

[Danny Kelly]

Right.

[Danny Heifetz]

And I, so I respect what the Vikings tried to do because it's one of the hardest things to do in all sports is do a quarterback transition. And to DK's point, Alex Smith, like, that was frankly, the packers are the only team that have done it and Andy Reid did it. And Andy worked at the packers before he was a head coach. So it's like only packers tree teams have ever pulled off a quarterback transition.

[Danny Kelly]

Here's the slightly different though. Yeah. What were you going to Say.

[Danny Heifetz]

Well, I was going to say, and if you guys can think of an example pointed out to me where teams have tried to be like, we have a good start or things are going well, but we think we want to transition as young guy, as far as I understand everyone that I can think of that that's ever happened. They got to see the quarterback in practice and JG McCarthy was there, but he was rehabbing a knee. He didn't have a ton of experience in college, got hurt in his meniscus in mid August and then did not practice with the team. And I do think the Vikings probably would have benefited by seeing him play for like one season.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

It was just terrible. It was a very unlucky situation. I feel like the Vikings found themselves in because Darnold, it's like, I wonder if they even could, could figure out if he was a flash in the pan or not.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

And when you have, if you brought like, let's say you franchise tagged Darnold and you brought him back, that sends a weird message to JJ McCarthy and like what you, what you think about him. So you had, you had basically to shade or get off the pot and.

[Danny Kelly]

Well, they didn't have to, but yeah.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

But they kind of, there was pressure. If you bring Donald back, you're basically, you're punting on J.J. mcCarthy, which is a weird move. If you sign him to a long term deal, you're punting on J.J. mcCarthy. I guess you could have franchise tagged him Darnold.

[Danny Kelly]

And similar to the Aaron Rodgers Jordan love succession plan, which was supposed to happen a lot quicker and then Aaron Rodgers came back and won an mvp.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Yeah, but he was there.

[Danny Kelly]

But he was already.

[Danny Heifetz]

And it's also similar to the Falcons signing Kirk Cousins And Michael Penck Jr. The difference to me being I don't really buy the idea of oh well, two quarterbacks. I'm like, you signed Kirk Cousins before you realized you like Michael Penck in the draft and if they knew, you wouldn't have signed him. So I didn't even think that's the similar. This is just, it's weird to have like the two guys and one of them wins 14 games and like, oh, we got to let you go. And I understand, I am absolutely hindsight in this situation.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

I like, I am, I understand why they did it, but I just think it was a very unfortunate situation. JJ being hurt ruined it.

[Danny Heifetz]

And now he has a high ankle sprain and you're like, okay, he's out two to four weeks, he's probably gonna be out A month. This team, like, thinks they should go to the Super Bowl.

[Danny Kelly]

Now you got Carson Wentz.

[Danny Heifetz]

I am going to briefly disrespect TomTom right now to ask an important question. Okay, I'm going to take a quick break from Tom. Tom. I. While we're on JJ McCarthy, I have another overreaction. I saw a tik tok the other day that a guy in the. It was just scrolling whatever. And they throw stuff in front of you. And it was this dude who just was like. The caption was adding 1 square inch of black paint to my face every day until it becomes problematic.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

And all I'm saying is I actually don't think of this video every time I see JJ McCarthy with the eye.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Black on his face. Yeah, man. I said this. It's ridiculous. He looks like a little kid.

[Danny Heifetz]

So much.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Yeah, it's not. And I know it's like, because he wants to look like a warrior.

[Danny Heifetz]

If he added 30 more, it would be like he. It would be like. Like a problem.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

You know, like, it's. It's like he's.

[Danny Kelly]

It would be like we'd have to have a talk.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

He'd be like the 90s on SNL.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah. He's teetering towards the water's edge of what is allowable.

[Danny Kelly]

Robert Downey Jr. Yeah, right.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

It's. It's literally entering the corners of his mouth.

[Danny Heifetz]

It looks like it's too much.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Sweats. It's too much.

[Danny Heifetz]

Anyway. Okay, next topic here. Overreactions. We actually are believing after two weeks. Number three, Craig.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

I'm starting to believe the Eagles offense is turning into a fantasy sinkhole. I'm panicking.

[Danny Kelly]

It's panicking. Oh, God.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

It's. It is fantasy quicksand right now because you're.

[Danny Heifetz]

You're.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

You have to start devonte Smith and AJ Brown every week, but I'm getting very nervous. It is crazy how boring this offense is. There are zero viable pass catchers on the Eagles right now. They don't create big plays and they don't score touchdowns. Jalen Hurts is the only quarterback in the league without a passing touchdown this year. The Eagles are dead last in plays of 10 or more yards and 20 or more yards this year. Dead last. Last year they were fourth. So, dk, I posed this to you. Is this two weeks? Week one is basically preseason week two. They played Steve Spagnolo and they didn't want to, you know, turn the ball over and they won both games. Am I overreacting?

[Danny Kelly]

Yes. I think this is. This is the story this is why Jalen Hurts. You know, like, we spent the entire off season, people were so mad at us because I made this comment about Jalen Hurts being like the fourth most important, eighth most important thing on the Eagles roster last year, even though he was a Super bowl mvp. It's like they had such a great defense, such a great offense, such a great offensive line, best running back in the NFL, really great receivers. And this is why Jalen Hurts has never gotten, according to Eagles fans, his proper respect is because he is limited as a passer at times.

[Danny Heifetz]

He's also on his 10th offensive coordinator in 10 years.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, and you know what? Like, I like Jalen Hertz, but if you look at his passing chart from this year and there is a million excuses you could probably make about why this is. I think he has three passes over 10 yards completed. It's all in the flats. It's like the, like if you look at the passing card, the, the greens are the completions. It's all just in the two flats inside 10 yards. So they need more from the passing game.

[Danny Heifetz]

I don't want to, yeah, I'm halfway on this because on one hand they've been bad and I don't really want to defend them. And I do think Kevin Patula, the offensive coordinator is a Sirianni guy and it's every time there's a new coordinator and things like you want to give them time. But also it's not like it's a given to work. The flip side is the Eagles weren't that good on offense last year for like six weeks. Like even Saquon was like giants came on. He was like after that it was built to ass in October on but like they Eagles had a good Week 1 versus the packers in Brazil and then like kind of weren't that good for the rest of September last year. And then they were incredible. So the Eagles team even remember isn't a year ago we were kind of talking about the same stuff.

[Danny Kelly]

Having said that, they went ugly. They went ugly.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

I, I, I think that's true, but it's more exaggerated right now. If you look at EPA per play, the game they just played against the Chiefs was the worst offensive game they played, including every game last year. It was the worst game of 2024 or 2025.

[Danny Heifetz]

You know what? And honestly what's helping them is every offensive drives first and nine because if they get the nine yards, they get the tush push. I do think the tush push correction's coming because one, it just jumped the Shark. Like, I think about the Breaking Bad when Mike's yelling at Walter and he's like, we had a good day going, you son of a. Like, that's the guards false starting on every touch. Push now. So get a good thing going. This weird cheat code, it just worked every time. And now everyone's like, all right, you're going before the ball. Like, this is fucked up. The refs are going to flag it. They're going to get a third and one turn to a third and six this week and then it's going to all come crashing down.

[Danny Kelly]

I think there's going to be continued frustration with Jalen hurts Craig, but I think they're going to be better. There's going to be much more explosive in the.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

They're not moving the ball down the field. Like, I think they'll figure it out. They're not throwing the ball down the field. They were seventh in yards per attempt last year. They're 26 this year. I know it's only been two games, but I'm just. It's, it's, it's looking very uninventive. This Kevin Patullo offense.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, this is where I cheated and just kind of put stuff next to each other for thematic purposes. I have. The next one. Here is the Chiefs dk. You had the. You just wrote down the Chiefs are missing the playoffs.

[Danny Kelly]

This is, you know, the, the Lord of the Rings where the big ugly orc is like the age of the.

[Danny Heifetz]

The age of men is over.

[Danny Kelly]

The time of the orc has come. That's like what I feel about the Chiefs right now. The age of the Chiefs might be ending at this point.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

This age of the Chiefs.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, there.

[Danny Kelly]

Maybe there'll be another one. L. I wanted to.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Hyphens.

[Danny Kelly]

You talk about this all the time. Losing the super bowl for most teams turns into like a self destructive feedback.

[Danny Heifetz]

It's depression. It's depression.

[Danny Kelly]

It's your entire life getting sucked into a black hole.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yes.

[Danny Kelly]

And losing begets more losing. The. The. The Chiefs have lost their first two games. That can tend to turn into a snowball effect. Obviously, winning cures all ills. They're not winning now. Last year they won. They were 10 and oh, in one score games. This year, their own two. You start to get a little bit mad at each other. You start to point fingers and then it starts to just get worse and worse. We see this with so many other super bowl teams and the Chiefs have been sort of immune to this forever because they have Patrick Mahomes and obviously they won a lot of Super Bowls. They didn't have to deal with that. But they have Patrick Mahomes and he's just kind of made them invincible or have the veneer of invincibility. But that feels like it's wearing off here. And so, you know, I'm just kind of worried about the Chiefs at this point. I. I was the one who was pushing back against you all off season high fits when I was like, how many games did they win last year? And now I'm like, oh, well, they.

[Danny Heifetz]

Went 17, 0 and 1 score games. And like, that's like, cool. But like, you shouldn't have. If you're that good of a team, you shouldn't have to be pulling stuff out of your ass. On. They won six games in the final play of the game and they weren't against great teams. And I just. I totally agree though, because it's also just they made all the Super Bowls in a row. And again, it's underrated. They film the happiness is expectation minus reality. The Chiefs expectation was where the 90s bulls, literally. Mahomes was so obsessed with the Last Dance, he filmed the entire season last year for the Chiefs and made a documentary because he wanted their three peat as a doc like the 90s bulls and like one that's depressing when you lose and you think you're the Michael Jordan of football and then you lose, like, fuck, we didn't do it. We'll never get to try that ever again. And they know it deep down. And also it's exhausting to play that many games. This happens in basketball all the time. The warriors were exhausted. Michael Jordan went and played baseball because he was so tired. After three runs in a row, he quit basketball. It's tiring to do this. It's a lot of football, man.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

That's why he played baseball, because he was tired.

[Danny Heifetz]

Are you in on. Do you actually. Wait now this is a good. Tom, you actually. Do you think he was suspended? Are you. Are you team gambling?

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

I don't think it was because he was tired. It was either because of his dad or because of gambling is what I believe. I do not think it had to do with his energy levels, but I.

[Danny Kelly]

Love the way Chris, right.

[Danny Heifetz]

You think he was like shadow. As I've gotten older, I've become more open to this. You basically think the idea is that David Stern was like, we have evidence that you're gambling, you know, whatever money, the gambling guy. But like, we don't want to ruin your face's image of the League. So we're going to quietly suspend you, appease the owners, then the league that want you suspended. But like just go away and we'll just feel it.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Yeah. That's why Shohei Ohtani is going to be on the Knicks next year. Just for a year.

[Danny Kelly]

Can we get have him play some qb? Man.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

I, I kind of do think the Chiefs are going to miss the playoffs though, to be honest. It's tough now because the Chargers have clearly elevated. Chargers are two and the Broncos are good. I, I don't know if the Raiders are good, but it's going to be very difficult for the Chiefs to I think even get a wild card.

[Danny Heifetz]

Well, the Chiefs still have to play the Ravens, the Lions.

[Danny Kelly]

Yes, The Bills.

[Danny Heifetz]

Like the Chiefs have hard games. I mean the Giants, I mean, you know what's so funny?

[Danny Kelly]

The Giants say the Giants.

[Danny Heifetz]

I don't want to be like must win. Yeah, I know. Juggernauts left. It's unbelievable.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

So yeah, I think it's a good call. DK Last thing on this and we're over Tom Tom. But we used a minute on Michael Jordan. Travis Kelsey literally ruined the first two games. It is funny that Travis Kelsey became the biggest story in America. Well, not in America but in pop culture by Mary Taylor Swift because literally Travis Kelsey should have scored a touchdown against the Chargers and he ran the wrong route and wasn't the same Patriots Mahomes and he's catched that they probably beat the charges week one and he should have caught a touchdown and they tossed the ball off his face into the Eagle safety and then he and he catches that they probably beat the Eagles. So honestly, Travis Kelsey's two plays away from the Chiefs being 20 which is funny any. Any fucking knocked Xavier Worthy out in the third play of the game of the season.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

So I think the Chiefs should go get Tyree Kill again.

[Danny Heifetz]

I actually think they should too. Honestly. I'll just do that one next. My next overreaction is Mike McDaniel is so pre fired like three minutes on the clock. Mike made Mike McDaniels.

[Danny Kelly]

I actually think it's like when you're like the when someone's planning to break up with someone but then they just kind of put it off for a little while.

[Danny Heifetz]

Well, I actually you know we're going.

[Danny Kelly]

To be out of town next week. I'll just wait.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

I can't remember a more bizarre energy out of a coach in press conferences for two straight weeks. He is the most despondent, scattered, distant person in the make eye contact you.

[Danny Heifetz]

Have to kind of give this energy, like, whether you're faking it or not, if you're a coach in these situations of, like, we are locked in. We're not focused on the outside noise. Mike McDaniel seems so distracted and overwhelmed behind the scenes. It's like Cliff Kingsbury at the end of days in Arizona was like a hostage himself. I actually. I actually think this Thursday football game between Dolphins and Bills, I think this is Mike McDaniel's last game as the Dolphins coach. I think he's gonna.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

They're gonna lose by four.

[Danny Heifetz]

They're gonna lose. And I. I maybe the team a little quiddy on him, and I think he's gonna get fired. And I say that for a few reasons, but one, it's a good window if Miami wants to do it, because there is a gap Thursday football. Their next game's on Monday night. So they have, like, what is that, like, 11 days between games for a new coach. Also, at the end of the day, that week one, they got pretty embarrassed by Daniel Jones. First team in the 21st century to allow 10 possessions, 10 scores to open a season. And then they lose to the Patriots. And week Mike Rabel in his first, you know, week two, and then this week again, the Dolphins are one in 13, first Bills in the last 14 games. And so if you start, you go. You lose again to Buffalo, you've made no progress. You start. Oh, and three, the playoffs are out of sight. Your last place in the AFC east already. And then on top of it, the Dolphins have spent as much money as the Eagles or 49ers in Mike McDaniel's tenures. They've spent money. They're not going to fire the GM because the Chris Gear has been there for 25 years. They're not going to get rid of Tua because Mike McDaniel convinced Steven Ross to pay to us. Stephen Ross, the owner, didn't want to do it. Mike McDaniel convinced him to do it. So I think McDaniel's on the chopping block.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, this. I think he's a good example of how big of a difference and how much of a jump it is to go from like a coordinator or position coach to off to. To the head coach. It's. It's a totally different job. Incredible amount of responsibility, including being the face of the team, the CEO, the sort of spiritual leader, the person who's going to rally the team when they're down. It's so much harder when you're losing. You have to have a certain aura about you. And it does not appear that he has it. I'm not in their meetings or whatever, so I can't really tell. But like based on sort of everything we know about him, it's hard to imagine him being, you know, like the leader of men rally guys when they're.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

No, I can't imagine what his. What the Dolphins players are thinking watching him in those press conferences and whatever he's saying in the locker room. It is genuinely the weirdest energy I've ever seen from a coach. And he'll probably go on to be a great offensive coordinator on some team next year.

[Danny Kelly]

Right.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

But. But can you go to the Eagles right now? That'd be great.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Can I trade him?

[Danny Heifetz]

It's. It's just.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

But do you think. Do you think Tyree kills is. Gets traded mid season?

[Danny Heifetz]

I'd have to look at the contract, see if someone can fit him in. But like if you're the Chiefs. Yeah, I mean, kind of.

[Danny Kelly]

Schefter said that no one has called the Dolphins yet about him.

[Danny Heifetz]

All the Chiefs brought Cream Hunt back and Cream Hunt sucks. He's awful.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Week six, you bring back Rashid Rice, you get Tyree Kill.

[Danny Kelly]

Now we're cooking. Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

That actually is the thing I meant to say about the Chiefs is like I kind of wonder for she Rice comes back, it will be fine. Probably not, though. The.

[Danny Kelly]

It'll be better.

[Danny Heifetz]

The next one I want to roll through here are. Craig.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Yeah, my. An overreaction. I'm. I'm starting to believe a little bit is just like Ashton Genti in general. I'm a little. I'm a little concerned.

[Danny Kelly]

This is like Craig, I'm getting like deja vu about how mad I was about last year. Breece hall and you kind of on Breeze hall early in the season.

[Danny Heifetz]

Can we clarify? Are you concerned?

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

I'm like.

[Danny Kelly]

I'm like, this is stupid. And then you kind of watch it yesterday.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

You're like, God, it's too cold. Craig might be right. Also, I have him in our ringer league. I took him in the second round.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

I'm very invested in Ashton Genti. I think it's two things. I think the Raiders are failing Ashton Genti. Austin Gale here at the Ringer posted on Threads today, which I'm not on, he said Ashton Genti is the only running back in the NFL with 20 plus carries averaging negative yards before contact through two weeks. So obviously the Raiders are failing Ash and Genti. The yards before contact is actually worse this year than it was last year with Samir White. But Zemir White was actually a little bit better than Ashton Gentin. Even Ashton Gent. Even like just the first two weeks at Zemir White last year was averaging more yards carry and more receptions and more yards than Ashton Genti. But while I do think the offensive line is a disaster and we maybe overlooked that a little bit because of how tantalizing Genti was, I do think there's a little bit of body language stuff that's bothering me about Genty. I do think he looks a little fed up about this situation. I think he looks a little almost lackadaisical at times. Kind of like low energy. When he has the ball and he hits a hole. He looks great and I think he's a very good running back. However, there are moments like there was a miscommunication with a handoff with Geno Smith on Monday night and he kind of just gave up. Like he didn't try, he didn't panic look to block somebody. He kind of just stood there, stopped walking. It's like the way he stands before they hand the ball off to him when he's just kind of in the back there. Like Michael Myers. He, he. There is something about him. He kind of like half assed a couple blocking assignments. It does seem a little like he's perhaps a little frustrated and you can see it in his body language and that's a little concerning to me.

[Danny Kelly]

Me. They also took him off of third down work, right? They or two minute drill.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Two minute drill. This guy Dylan lobby is in there and I'm like the sixth pick in the draft can't be on in the two minute drill. He's not, he's not ready for that. Dylan lobby is.

[Danny Kelly]

Craig, last night's just like texting who is this white dude playing in the two minute drill? And I'm like Craig, wait till you.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Go to New Hampshire.

[Danny Heifetz]

I remember me New Hampshire. I met Dylan, Dylan loud right at the Senior bowl and it was lob.

[Danny Kelly]

I don't know.

[Danny Heifetz]

I think it's loud. I think I asked him to his face because it was at the Senior bowl and nobody was talking to him. We had a one on one conversation for 10 minutes because he went in the seventh round. No one wanted to talk to him. Yeah, I just talked to him for 10 minutes about just being a seventh round pick or whatever.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Austin said it's louby.

[Danny Heifetz]

Anyway, the point being I, I think this is fair. I will say this is we. I think all our analysis on Genti was kind of Accurate, where it's like, he's a great player. We don't really want to knock him on for going in the first round because he's sick to watch. But also, like, teams that take running backs high, like, you go into the situation. How did. Did Saquon help the Giants win games? Did Christian McAfeere help the Panthers win games? No.

[Danny Kelly]

Like, can't wait for Ashton Jinty's second contract on a good team, man.

[Danny Heifetz]

You know who helps the Cowboys win games? Zeke Elliott, because they the best offensive line in the NFL.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

No, you're totally right. But I, I, I don't like what I'm seeing from him. From a.

[Danny Heifetz]

That's a fair snipe. And it's interesting because, sorry, now we're going over for a second. But Genti has the same problem a lot of quarterbacks do. These first two games are the worst he's ever performed in his entire life. He's probably never struggled in any game.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of jokes about, like, you know, Ashton Genti when he's not going up against San Jose State and how he looks in the NFL. I, I still think he looks really good.

[Danny Kelly]

And he does look good.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Dropping people and stuff like that. He just looks pretty frustrated. Also, he played 57 of the snapshot this week. Don't, don't know what that's about. I know they were down, but, like, give this.

[Danny Kelly]

He's good in the passing game. That was part of the.

[Danny Heifetz]

He was a receiver in high school.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

He was a receiver.

[Danny Heifetz]

He replaced Marvin Mims in high school. Who had the most yards in the history of Texas high school football. Whatever, man. Yeah, I agree. Speaking of Texas, though, Hampton, by the.

[Danny Kelly]

Way, doesn't look great either.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Well, in general, there are.

[Danny Heifetz]

Give them two months.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

No, no, I, it takes a while. It's the lesson with rookies. You have to wait. However, there are 19 running backs with 100 yards rushing this year. None of them are.

[Danny Heifetz]

How many times did we say in the off season, don't wear in Hampton? We were. Before Naji Harris had a fireworks incident. We were like, draft Najee Harris and flip him from Aaron Hampton in week six. And there. And then, unfortunately, Hampton shot up because Naji got hurt. But this was our thing. We're like, don't take a rookie, wait, suck, and then get him in week five. Same with, like, you know, a lot of these guys. Matthew Gold's a good example. Someone's gonna cut later.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

I still think Hampton looks good.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, no, I do, too.

[Danny Heifetz]

I will say Though my next one, this is one I'm actually, I really, I actually wish I put this higher in terms of how much I believe it. I think Brandon Aubrey, the Cowboys kicker, should be offensive player of the year through two weeks. Through two weeks. Like, I think he's the best offense. Even though he's on special teams. I think he's the best offensive player in the, in the NFL. So I, I, there's so many aspects to this, but just to remind people, the NFL record, if you don't count the preseason kick from the Jaguars, the NFL record for a field goal is 66 yards. Justin Tucker bounced one in off the upright from 66.

[Danny Kelly]

Brandon Aubrey off of the, the cross.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, the crossbar. And it doinked in Brandon Aubrey so barely got it. He barely. Brandon Aubrey from 64 yards to send the game to overtime. 64 yards hit the back wall.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

It was halfway up.

[Danny Kelly]

It was going up. Yeah, it was, it was like Happy Gilmore on the driving range.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yes.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

He's the most incredible.

[Danny Kelly]

You should play at the water very in tomorrow, dude.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

Honestly, I, I will say step right.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Up and face the kicking ball whacker guy.

[Danny Heifetz]

He, dude, he told the amazing ball kicker guy, we are in the golden age of kicking. There's a lot of things going on. Kickers are so much better than the kickers have ever been. They're also.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Don't forget the, don't forget the kick.

[Danny Heifetz]

They are juicing the balls. We were in the juice ball era starting this season.

[Danny Kelly]

They are juicing the balls.

[Danny Heifetz]

And again, balls are like baseball, Mitch. You got to break them in. And the NFL for the last 25 years made you break them in like an hour. Oh, you think he's making a face? Please. But you got to break a baseball minute. They gave him an hour to break the football.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Massage him.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, you got to massage it. You gave him an hour. Now the team's got 60 balls at the beginning of the season. They're like, yeah, just keep these all year. So like they're begin the out of these balls. So it's. Kickers are better juiced balls. Coaches are seeing this and letting them kick from further than ever. So you get things like there are two numbers in particular. I can't believe there were double the 60 yard field goals last season. Had double the 60 yard field goals to the entire 20th century combined. The other one is 50 yard kicks in the 2000s were 53% conversion rate. So like that's Shaq at the free throw line through two weeks. 50 yard kicks are 84%, which is Michael line.

[Danny Kelly]

I'm to the point where if someone misses a 50 yarder, I'm like, what the dude?

[Danny Heifetz]

50? They're hitting 50 kicks five out of six times.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Eating my hot dog. Make it.

[Danny Kelly]

Like spill mustard on my shirt, rookie. Yeah, pretty much.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

And then can I.

[Danny Kelly]

Well, the hyphens, last year I think I saw kickers. Maybe you already said that. Sorry, I don't listen to you. Kickers made more field goals last year than any other year ever. This is the like literally the most.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, because coaches see they're better and are kicking it more. And it's funny now I feel like there's only.

[Danny Kelly]

Which is bad for the sport, by the way.

[Danny Heifetz]

We don't want to watch this. Isn't it funny though? There's only two kinds of kickers. Weapons from 60 yards and guys who can't make pats.

[Danny Kelly]

They have the.

[Danny Heifetz]

What are you gonna say, Craig?

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

I would like to insert a mini take purge a mini take into power.

[Danny Heifetz]

Hour right now, please.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

That I want to tell you guys, I think now the kickoff rule is stupid and it's gone way too far. And getting the ball at the 35 yard line sucks.

[Danny Heifetz]

I. I will. So it's. It's completely so. I agree. Because these things have happened in the same timeline. The NFL is moving the. It used to be you get a touchback, it goes to the 20 and then now you get a touchback, it's the 35. So they moved it up 15 yards in the same.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

And now kickers are better than ever and they get to with these kicking balls. So now you, you. I mean Brandon Aubrey is. It can easily hit a 65 yard, which means now you get the ball at the 35, you need to go 15 yards and then you are within range of a 67 yard.

[Danny Heifetz]

You can go 10 yards. Like literally the Dallas Cowboys. I mean Brandon Aubrey, I mean honestly think about this way. It used to be obvious that field goal range required you get into the other team's territory. You no longer have to cross the 50 to be in field goal Ranch. Brandon Aubrey told Schottenheimer in pre game at that Giants game, he was like just anything at the 50, like it's fine. Like it wasn't like I can do it. It was like it's not a question.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

The kickoffs, to me, they don't resemble football anymore. It doesn't make any sense. It honestly no kickoffs, you just start on the 25.

[Danny Heifetz]

I like that's what we should. I like having more kickoffs I, I like that the kickoff is back in play. I think it's fun to have special teams again in football.

[Danny Kelly]

Football.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

I just think that the, the field position is ridiculous now. Now with the way the kickoffs are set or like nobody can move. It's like if you catch the ball and return it, you're going to get that on the 35 or 40 half the time. Now if it's a touchback, you're on the 35. You're basically just always in field goal range. And honestly, it's starting to. You can feel it starting to mess with like fourth down decision making. Because now if you score a touchdown or you kick a field goal and you know you have to kick off. Now factoring in that this, these teams are basically going to get the ball at the 35 yard line and are going to be 15 yards within field goal. RA is kind of making things trickier. It's like you basically need to stop them immediately or else they get one first down. They're basically in full range. I just think it sucks.

[Danny Heifetz]

Do you like having touchbacks or. So do you just like what they've done with the kickoff for the season? Dk because it's worked. It literally last year, I think you went from, I believe, top of my head, like one third of kicks were returned last year. And then this year it's 3/4 of kicks are being returned. So it has succeeded.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

You know what I do during kickoffs, I go to the bathroom. I don't need them.

[Danny Kelly]

That's what they're trying to change.

[Danny Heifetz]

Well, that, yeah, they're like, yeah, get rid of literally the point. Do you like that the kickoffs, the.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Games are faster without them. Get rid of them.

[Danny Kelly]

I think I understand what Craig is saying in terms of just the math, in terms of how to stop, how to stop a team if they're going to come back and kick a field goal after gaining 10 yards, that is kind of weird. But at the same time, if it leads to teams going for touchdowns more, I think that's a good thing. Honestly, I don't really like watching field goal attempts and I think it's boring. So I think it kind of goes both ways where if you, if we go back to the old rules with, you know, touchbacks coming to the 20, whatever, there's gonna be less scoring and I want scoring. So I don't know. I, I disagree with this.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

I think I like teams working to get into field goal range. To me, I feel like that's, that's half the battle is like, can a team do it? And now it's like you miraculous if.

[Danny Kelly]

You could do it in 20 seconds. Right now it's just like, well make one.

[Danny Heifetz]

That's what I think has changed the most. And I don't think this is honestly a huge conversation that affects most of the game. What's totally changed is the final two minutes of each half. Because the calculus on how much time you need to get in scoring range is like the Chiefs Bills thing is going to look quaint in 10 years where totally they scored a field goal in 13 seconds. It's like, now you're going to be able to do that if you have a timeout. You're going to be getting field range in five seconds. Literally you will be able to get in field range if you have a timeout in five seconds. If you have a kick one of the. Right now I guess there's like six or seven kickers that it. Which is crazy to sit lad. But there are six or seven kickers that see especially with the cables being juiced that feel like they can make a 66 yard field goal, which is the NFL record. But I think there's. I think the record's going to be broken three or four. I think the record could be broken two or three times this season.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

I. It's just starting to feel a little ridiculous. Like I kind of like came to in the middle of a game and I was like, they get the ball to 35.

[Danny Heifetz]

Well.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

So I think 35 of the way towards the end illustrates, without doing anything.

[Danny Heifetz]

To me is the, the, the thing that illustrates it to me is the relic of the penalty of if you kick the ball out of bounds on the kickoff, the punishment is you have to give them the ball at the 40, which was a big deal when the touchback was at the 20.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Now it doesn't even matter.

[Danny Heifetz]

It's kind of funny to me now that that rule has stayed the same where it's like the touchback is the 35 and the punishment for kicking it out of bounds is the 40.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

But it's like you can't even worsen the punishment because then what you're going to give somebody the ball.

[Danny Heifetz]

What I don't understand. What I, what I don't understand. And I think teams are really being not creative enough with is they should be really aggressive at booting the ball because the rule is the balls to touch the ground, then we can run. They should be sending flying balls at God. The way I said that's kind of funny. But they should just be like, firing the football at these guys in the corner. With the idea being you want to.

[Danny Kelly]

Try to, like, pegging them in the head.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah. But you want to just basically put them in the situation of trying to field it. And if it goes out of bounds. Oh, no. At the 40. But the upside, you're risking five yards if it goes out of bounds. But the upside is you could try to pin him inside the 15. And I think teams should be way more aggressive and creative about trying to pin the returners in weird positions because the, like, just sacrifice the five yards at the 40. It's like, who cares?

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

I don't. I don't want, like, half of the strategy to be like, how can we pin the receiving, the punt returner or the kick return on a kickoff? Like, I just want to see an offense have to go down the field and score.

[Danny Heifetz]

The broader context.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Can we game the system?

[Danny Heifetz]

The NFL felt the need to respond to concussions, and they looked at concussions and they were like, why are half the concussions on this stupid play where everyone's going to take.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Yeah, I get it.

[Danny Heifetz]

And so they're, like, trying to find a solution out of that problem where they're like, we can say we eliminated concussions and get people to watch more. Win, win. And so this is the result. But it's weird again. Scoring position's been completely redefined at the end of the half, which is just crazy. It's just weird that you can, like, Brandon Aubrey's gonna kick a field goal this season from the Cowboys 45 yard line, which is crazy.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Yeah. So anyway, I mean, it's. It's obviously cool, and it's an advantage for the Cowboys, but I. I don't know. It just kind of bothered me.

[Danny Heifetz]

All right, next overreaction. After two weeks, Craig.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

I think Travis Hunter was a siren song, and he's a number three wide receiver and a number three cornerback on his team. And the jokes about he's expensive Wanda Robinson or he's Cole Beasley on offense or something. I don't know, man. The guy averages 3.9 yards per target this year. He is playing 60% of snaps on offense, which is behind. Just for reference, this is how much Travis Hunter's playing on offense. He is playing less snaps percentage wise, than Xavier Hutchinson, Michael Wilson, Sterling Shepard, Tyler Johnson, Brandon Cooks, Andre Yoshivas. And so I'm like, okay, if you're doing that. And then he's also playing like, 60% of the snaps on defense, which he did last week. I don't know what the point is? You're getting a two backup players for the second overall pick in the draft. I don't understand.

[Danny Kelly]

This was always the downside or like the, the bear case on doing this right? Like you get two okay players at, on both sides of the ball.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yes, I am.

[Danny Kelly]

It's too early. I think it's like too early to actually make this judgment. But this is the, this is like, I think, I think the bad version of what we, of what we're doing here. Like what, what they wanted to do is that he's just gonna be a jack of all trades, master of nuts.

[Danny Heifetz]

A jack of all trades, jag of all. I, I am on record as being more excited about Travis Hunter as a prospect than anyone. And I can't really argue with anything Craig's saying. He's a rookie, it's two weeks, it's like any other rookie, blah, blah, blah. Like but if, but to Craig's point, and again, even bigger picture, it's like probably unrealistic to like maybe a second season is when you really want to start judging. Is this working however, to Craig's point, yeah, like if it's November this year or realistically November next year and Travis Hunter is still. That's tough. He's playing less than Andre Yoshivas and whatever. Maybe it's real unrealistic, expected to immediately out of the gate work on both sides. But you're right. Like the, the composer. It's like okay, the financier, the composer. No, but you're right. Like the worst case scenario is you traded what they give up a future first and more to move up. They paid for two players which.

[Danny Kelly]

And a second.

[Danny Heifetz]

I think even I didn't like the trade because you're paying as if he can definitely do this instead of he could. The whole. One of the reasons I like Travis Hunter was the upside was if he's good at both. You're. It's a quarterback contract. You're creating a quarterback value deal. The downside to Craig's point is you trade it. Like you could do both, but you're actually getting the equivalent of like a really good 4th round pick or 5th round pick on both sides of the ball, which is a catastrophe. And I gotta say, I will say this. If it doesn't work, I do wonder if there will be an organizational pressure to make it work rather than switch him and kind of capitulate to him being a one way player when the Jaguars GM Doogie Hauser kind of play paid as if he'd play both one way. But I agree, Craig, it's, it's not ideal.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

It's tough. And look, this is week two overreactions. Maybe it'll change. But I, I, I personally don't think it's possible that he's going to play 70 snaps on either side of the ball. And I think they just need to just, they need to pick and to be honest, he should probably be with just a wide receiver.

[Danny Heifetz]

And also the other funny part about it is, is that the Jaguars traded up to the second pick. It didn't take Mike Abdul Carter.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

I know.

[Danny Kelly]

The other thing is they gave up the opportunity to draft Abdul Carter.

[Danny Heifetz]

So anyway, I think that's fair the last one here and then we can move on. This isn't a take. This is just like an earnest question to you guys. I don't even have a take. I just would like to be vulnerable about my Giants fandom. And I have an actual question for you guys. I'm gonna start with Danny Kelly. Should the Giants have released Daniel Jones?

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

This is hilarious.

[Danny Kelly]

Well, I think there's shades shades to that answer. Right. Because didn't they couldn't they have tried to trade him earlier or something like that when he had more value and then they ended up just like cutting him for nothing. I can't.

[Danny Heifetz]

No, it's it he had he, they. Oh, they overpaid him on the contract.

[Danny Kelly]

Right.

[Danny Heifetz]

And then they cut him which is both saving money and caught. It's like saving money but there's dead. So this season the Giants dead cap for Daniel Jones is $20 million. It's more than the cults are paying him 14 million. But it did save them because they were going to pay him 40. So they basically got to save 20. But they'd also still sunk cost 20. But I am look and again he's bad. Like I don't think he's playing that well. However I, I do, I do watch this and I'm also Russell Wilson played well but I do watch this and be like I don't know.

[Danny Kelly]

Be nice to have be nice to have a guy like that right now.

[Danny Heifetz]

It's just really annoying that he Daniel Jones final 15 games he went like 3 and 4, 3 and 12. And I'm like now he's no.

[Danny Kelly]

What I was going to say Heifetz is this is like asking should the jets have released Sam Darnold or should the Browns have gotten rid of Baker Mayfield? Yeah, like they none of those guys were going to succeed in those environments.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

To me this is this says to me, this says two things. One, Anthony Richardson was worse than we thought. My God.

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh my God.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Holy. Like this is Craig.

[Danny Kelly]

They haven't punted yet.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

If Daniel Jones steps in and you are immediately the best team in the league. Holy shit.

[Danny Heifetz]

Anthony wasn't the Colts. Austin had a good story at the ring of this week that has a bunch of stats from the week. One of which that blew my doors off was that the Colts are the only team to ever not punt in their first two games. And I think this one the only team ever. And it's cheating a little because they went, they turn over and downs twice. Regardless, they still do lead the NFL in points per drive and EPA per drive.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Yeah. Also I think, I think Shane Steichen, we have to give him a little bit more credit and that and realize that when he left Philadelphia, because the last year in Philadelphia he was incredible. The Eagles were 14 and three. That was the year they went to this loss to the Chiefs in the super bowl. And that was their best offensive season overall was with Steichen. And he's just had not a lot to work with since coming to Indianapolis and I think we're seeing now what he is capable of doing with the Daniel Jones type that is kind of similar to a Jalen Hurts type.

[Danny Heifetz]

I think the Colts defense is more legit than the, than the offense. I also think this is the Saints from last year where they start two and oh and look amazing and like I just don't think this is real for me.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Do you really think that? Do you think like how many wins do you think the Colts will have this year?

[Danny Heifetz]

I'd be, I'd be really surprised if it was more than 10. I think they could win the Division 9 or 10. But like I don't think they're an 11 win team. I think the defense of Luna Rumo is really interesting what they're doing. But I don't think Daniel Jones even a month from now is going to be like, oh my God, he's playing so well.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

I think 2, 0 and then finished the season with only five wins. So you. But. So you're saying the Colts will still be twice as good as what happened.

[Danny Heifetz]

We're saying that there's, there's, I think their ceilings. Ten wins. Yeah.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Okay. I mean that's not that. That's pretty good.

[Danny Heifetz]

Well, yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

How many games last year?

[Danny Heifetz]

I'm saying the ceiling is 10 wins. I think the floor is like yeah, five or six.

[Danny Kelly]

I think it's such an interesting situation because on one, it just really truly depends on how you look at this. Because I think the reason I was and I think a lot of people were upset that they decided to go with Daniel Jones is because they drafted Anthony Richardson knowing full well that he was a project. It was, they said this when they drafted him.

[Danny Heifetz]

They played him four games in and.

[Danny Kelly]

Then they gave up on him after like a year. And I understand the the context of maybe he just wasn't putting in the work necessary or whatever. Like maybe that is actually what happened. But to give up on the guy who they self described as a project and you know what I mean? Like this is the same situation where it's like you're we're making fun of the Falcons. Even though probably ended up being the right move to draft Michael Penix and have that succession plan and play, you can still talk about the process that went into this and you're like why the fuck did you Give Kirk Cousins $100 million? Why the fuck did you draft Anthony Richardson, that type of quarterback if you're just going to give up on him? Yeah, my shoot, yeah, or two years or whatever. But so that's like I think depends on how you look at this. Obviously I think we got to give second credit for picking the right quarterback to run his offense, but I'm still kind of annoyed at like just how that all went down.

[Danny Heifetz]

The Ringer Fantasy Football show is brought to you by FanDuel. Football fans, every NFL Thursday is your chance to hit the jackpot on FanDuel. Because with FanDuel's Thursday touchdown jackpot, you can win a share of $2 million in bonus bets each week. To get in on this Thursday's action, all you have to do is place in any time, touchdown, score or bet before the game between the Dolphins and Bills kicks off. And if your player scores the first or last touchdown of the game, you'll win your bet plus a share of bonus bets. Again, The Bills last 14 games versus the Dolphins. The Bills are 13 and 1 versus Miami and the one loss was when the game was 120 degrees and all the players fell down in the fourth quarter because they all had like heat poisoning, Buffalo destroys Miami kind of thing. Mike McDaniel might get fired at the end of this game. So I would just bet on the Bills. Josh Allen, James Cook, not groundbreaking, but I think they're going to score the first and last touchdown in this game and James Cook's going to score in this game, as is Josh Allen probably. So this Thursday, any play can be the Play of the game with FanDuel that's FanDuel.com/ringer fantasy for your chance to win a share of $2 million in bonus bets. Play your game with FanDuel, an official sports betting partner. This episode is brought to you by Hyundai what makes the all new Hyundai Palisade Hybrid an incredible suv? Is it the spacious interior that's comfy for the whole crew or the capability to go off road? Maybe it's the up to 600 plus miles of range. What if it's all of that and more? The all new Hyundai Palisade Hybrid. So much more than just another SUV. Visit HyundaiUSA.com or call 562-314-4603 for more details.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

This episode is brought to you by Universal Pictures. Would you sell your soul for greatness?

[Danny Kelly]

What would you be willing to sacrifice this September Experience the football horror event of the season M the new Jordan Peele produced horror film.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

It stars Marlon Wayans in the role of a lifetime as Isaiah White, the greatest football player of all time, AKA the Goat. Tyreek Withers plays Cameron Cade, a Revolution rising star quarterback who Isaiah takes on as his protege.

[Danny Kelly]

As Cam's trading accelerates, Isaiah's charisma shifts into something darker, sending Cam down a disorienting rabbit hole that may cost him more than he ever bargained for. Directed by Justin Tipping and produced by Monkey Paw Productions.

[Danny Heifetz]

Never meet your idols.

[Danny Kelly]

M in theater September 19th.

[Danny Heifetz]

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[Danny Kelly]

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[Danny Heifetz]

Make sure I pack for my summer.

[Danny Kelly]

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[Danny Heifetz]

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[Danny Kelly]

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[Danny Heifetz]

To get an Apple Card for your summer travels, apply in the Wallet app on your iPhone today. Subject to credit approval. Apple Card issued by Goldman Sachs Bank.

[Danny Kelly]

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[Danny Heifetz]

Variable APRs for Apple Card range from 18.24% to 28.49% based on creditworthiness rates as of July 1, 2025 terms and [e-mail] the NFL okay, let's get into a couple other things. The Ringer Fantasy League yeah, just give a quick, quick update.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Sure.

[Danny Heifetz]

Two zero. Oh, you want to do it?

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

You want me to do it? You want to do it?

[Danny Heifetz]

Go for it.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Sal is the absolute wagon. Two zero. There are three two zero teams. It is Sal. It Is our own very own Daniel Heifetz. And it is also Mal. Everybody else, including DK and I, are 1 and 1, and then CR. Van and Bill are 0 and 2. Bill is in ninth, and Bill is playing Sal this week. So Bill is kind of facing an uphill battle. But Sal. Yeah, south team's looking like an absolute joke.

[Danny Kelly]

Things are actually quietly going well for Bill because of so many quarterbacks.

[Danny Heifetz]

We got an email from.

[Danny Kelly]

Now he's. Now he's. The shoe is on the other.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, we got an email.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

None of his got hurt, right. He has Trevor Lawrence, Tua, Caleb Williams, Michael Penix.

[Danny Heifetz]

I think he cut Stafford or something. I don't know.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Oh, he cuts.

[Danny Heifetz]

Which is funny because then all the quarterbacks got hurt, so. Yeah, but Andy Yilden saying this is what Bill Simmons has been waiting for. And how many trade offers has Bill been set?

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Which is pretty done now, huh?

[Danny Kelly]

King of the castle. King of the castle.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

But, yeah, we'll see. Sal versus Bill will be a great.

[Danny Heifetz]

I hope he crushes them. Okay, fantasy court is in session.

[Danny Kelly]

All right.

[Danny Heifetz]

Do we have the drop? Definitely.

[Danny Kelly]

Don't tell anyone about this thing that you're doing.

[Danny Heifetz]

I don't really want to be handcuffed.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

The definition of an object is a material thing that can be seen and touched.

[Danny Kelly]

By the way, I was.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

That's important.

[Danny Kelly]

I was told by front of the show, Kyle, that that was when we were talking about the cloud. We looked up objects.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

It is a material thing that can be seen or touched.

[Danny Heifetz]

Well, cloud can be seen.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

It can't.

[Danny Heifetz]

Can't be touched.

[Danny Kelly]

It can be touched.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Oh, no. Sorry. It is immaterial. I don't know if I said that in the. In a sound drop. It's a material thing that can be seen and touched.

[Danny Heifetz]

Can you touch a cloud?

[Danny Kelly]

Yes.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

Can you?

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Well, can you touch something if you don't feel it?

[Danny Kelly]

It's like.

[Danny Heifetz]

Well, this. This gets back to the other thing. Is fog. Cloud.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Well, are you dk.

[Danny Kelly]

What are we doing Oxygen?

[Danny Heifetz]

No, but is fog. I always thought fog was a ground cloud. And then I was told if you.

[Danny Kelly]

If you fall through a cloud crack, you're going to get wet.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

Is that true?

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, that's what we were talking about with skydiving through.

[Danny Heifetz]

But that's if it's raining. If you. If you skydive through a regular white, puffy cloud, you're gonna get wet.

[Danny Kelly]

Maybe not a white, puffy.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Dk. Are you touching the air right now?

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

You are?

[Danny Kelly]

I mean, well, then if you can.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

If you're touching the air, then you can certainly touch a cloud.

[Danny Kelly]

There we go. That's like a.

[Danny Heifetz]

Is. Are you saying air is an object?

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

No, because you can't see it.

[Danny Kelly]

Is air an object?

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

You can't see it.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah. Okay.

[Danny Kelly]

Yes, air can be considered an object in the scientific sense because it is composed of matter possessing mass and occupying space.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

But. But, Your honor, according to Webster's dictionary, an object must be seen and touched.

[Danny Kelly]

I don't know.

[Danny Heifetz]

All right, this concludes phase.

[Danny Kelly]

Anyway.

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh, my.

[Danny Kelly]

This is one of those things where, like, it's funny to talk about, but I don't actually want to think about it.

[Danny Heifetz]

Should I even read it anymore? That was pretty good, actually.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

I don't know.

[Danny Kelly]

Let's get to. Let's get to the court. Let's do it.

[Danny Heifetz]

I don't know. That was kind of good.

[Danny Kelly]

We still don't know what a cloud is for sake.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

All I know is that it allegedly weighs a billion pounds. Give me a break. Give me a break.

[Danny Heifetz]

This one's from Austin.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Austin.

[Danny Heifetz]

What's up, fellas? Breakfast this morning. White chocolate macadamia nut, Cliff bar and a zero sugar monster. What a. What a combo.

[Danny Kelly]

Interesting combo.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

I actually. People get after it in the morning.

[Danny Heifetz]

Dude, I love the breakfast thing. It is such a window into your life. It's incredible.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

I love it.

[Danny Kelly]

People like, yeah, just getting up and.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

People don't give a. Slamming monsters Dr. Pepper and a McGriddle, and I'm ready to cook.

[Danny Kelly]

Jesus.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

I love it.

[Danny Heifetz]

My question is more of a fantasy ethics issue than a fantasy court issue. I'm the commissioner of three leagues in my workplace, which is also wild.

[Danny Kelly]

Wow.

[Danny Heifetz]

And this year, we added awful. We added several people who are not only new to fantasy, but new to football as a whole. We did our best to help them draft reasonable teams, but now that we're two weeks in the season, I've started thinking about trades. My question is, what is the proper etiquette if I wanted to trade for someone for one of the teams managed by someone who doesn't really know anything about football? Obviously, I don't want to intentionally flee someone in a trade if they don't know any better, but I'm also trying to get my team as good of a deal as humanly possible. Do you have any insights to help me save from a potential mutiny, which sounds like he's trying to push the limit as much as he could possibly get to a trade not being vetoed while taking advantage of someone who doesn't know anything about football. And he's trying to throw the needle here for being honest.

[Danny Kelly]

This is business.

[Danny Heifetz]

Ethics. His questions is like, what's the best fleecing I can get away with on these schmucks?

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Yeah, where's the line? Yeah, I don't. I mean maybe there needs to be like an impartial ombudsman who has to look at the trade or something like that.

[Danny Kelly]

Well, yeah, what I was going to say is and sometimes in these situations if you're dealing with someone who doesn't feel confident that they know what they're doing is you can send them like a screenshot of a trade to a trade grade or whatever from any of the different platforms and it's like, see, look, this is somewhat reasonable on both sides. And that gives them the here's presence of. That gives them. Yeah, totally.

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh my God.

[Danny Kelly]

This is actually bad for me.

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh my God.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Dude, I'm doing you one of those.

[Danny Heifetz]

There's a dynasty leagues version of those one called Keep Trade Cut and a League of Man. One of the guys, Dustin is a web designer and he. I don't know what he does, I don't know what you do, Dustin, if you're listening but he made a website that looks exactly like Keep Trade Cut but he called it like drop swap, hop or whatever. And he just made the calculator so that like all the players on like one of the guys teams in our league, he would always lose and so it would always equal. Like no matter what the trade would always be equal. And he sends screenshots from this like identical looking website.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

That's. That's sociopathic.

[Danny Heifetz]

It was the foot.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

No.

[Danny Heifetz]

It's so funny.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Did he actually like he almost convinced.

[Danny Heifetz]

Someone to make a trade because anything you plug in ends up being equal just like.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

There's no way that's correct.

[Danny Heifetz]

It's so funny. Yeah. Anyway, I think this is an easy fantasy court where like you have to think long term. You can just flee someone.

[Danny Kelly]

This is your work.

[Danny Heifetz]

Know anything about? Yeah, well that's if you're gonna leave the job soon. Whatever man.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Also is the person you're trading with your subordinate or your boss.

[Danny Heifetz]

That's true if they're subordinate them. If you're the boss, be careful. I think I do. We do get this question, this version of a question a lot. My answer is always the same. Not to be almost gushy about it, but the purpose of when you, when you have a couple people in a league who are new and like don't either completely new to fantasy or in this case new to football. Not to be all, like, sappy about it. The goal is not to fucking steal Tyler Warren from them. Or.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Yes, it is.

[Danny Heifetz]

The goal is to make them to win the game. Like, yeah, they'll crush them. The goal is to, like, get them to like fantasy football so they keep playing in your league. And so if you actually want, like, I assume, and maybe I'm wrong, if this person joined the league, you convince them to join because they didn't like football and they're in your league. I assume you wanted this person in. So don't immediately turn them against you because you. They realized three weeks later you were. You robbed them is probably a bad idea. Or just go and win. Fuck it. But I think you have to pick. Either decide if you want them to like fantasy football and care about it and then nurture their. Or just fleece them. But don't do anything in the middle, like, fucking pick.

[Danny Kelly]

You gotta. You gotta create a paper trail. Take some pictures for yourself of trade simulators so if the. If the. If the league revolts, you can show them the receipts that said, look, this looked like a pretty fair trade according to this, that or the other.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Build a paper trade to us. We'll act as the board.

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh, yeah. Oh, we're the board.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

This guy's the CEO of the company, and we're the board.

[Danny Heifetz]

That's good. We'll improve the trade. I like that. Yeah, I like that.

[Danny Kelly]

And we can check some balances here.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, that's smart. Okay. All right. There you go, Austin. We'll. We'll approve the trade. He's probably like, I'm not gonna do it now, Austin.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Venmo is 20 each. I'll approve any trade.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

So just don't be a piece of.

[Danny Heifetz]

There's a sign. What's that? Oh, what's the show David Simon made about Times Square and the invention of, like, porn? Oh, the Deuce.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, the Deuce.

[Danny Heifetz]

There's a scene in the Deuce where the lawyer is like, you have to give me a dollar.

[Danny Kelly]

They didn't invent porn in this. In the 80s or the 70s.

[Danny Heifetz]

Well, it's like the invention.

[Danny Kelly]

Porn's been around. It's been in the.

[Danny Heifetz]

No, it's about. It's in the 70s. It's like the invention of. It's like prostitutes.

[Danny Kelly]

No, I know, I know, I know, I know. They didn't invent pornography in the. In that time era, but whatever.

[Danny Heifetz]

Okay. You get what I'm saying?

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. Yes, I do. I was being a jerk.

[Danny Heifetz]

Video porn.

[Danny Kelly]

There we go. Now we're talking.

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh, right. Actually, you know, it's funny when he says, in my mind, porn is video, and I don't even think of magazine. The idea of still images counting as porn is so funny to me. But I guess the detail is essential.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Were there ever porn flip books? Was that ever a thing where you could like books? Yeah. Were you not flip books where you could like. Like. Like, you know, feel picture book, where you're, like. You fly through the pages very quickly and it creates, like, a quick scene?

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Was that.

[Danny Heifetz]

That's a good call.

[Danny Kelly]

I don't know, Craig. I've never experienced that, but I bet it's a thing. People are enterprising, you know, when they get.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

The only problem with that is, is you need two hands to do that.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, that kind of defeats the purpose. You could probably figure out A1.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

There's our answer right now.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, doesn't exist.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

What are those called? Flip books.

[Danny Heifetz]

What are those called? Yeah, flip.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Yeah, flip books.

[Danny Kelly]

In Robin Hood, men in tights. There's like, a blind guy and he's using, like, blinking tablet. That incredible. Like, a thing where he's like, Braille pornography. I don't know.

[Danny Heifetz]

That movie is unbelievable.

[Danny Kelly]

Hey, Blinken. Did you say a Blinken?

[Danny Heifetz]

I don't know.

[Danny Kelly]

Why? I think that's the funniest fucking joke. Hey, Blinking.

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh, my God. All right, okay, so there's your fantasy court. We'll be the board. But yeah, just if you're wondering about that same thing, just either like Robin blind or get him to like it, but don't waffle in the middle.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

What?

[Danny Heifetz]

A couple emails here. Bleep alternatives. We asked for things from. Oh, sorry, David. Some people suggested this. The conversations we were gonna be like, what should we do instead of a bleep noise? Cause bleeps are kind of annoying stuff. David and a couple others emailed us the. The search is over. We found it. David says your bleep option should be the timeless Gus Johnson Jack Sawyer interception clip. And every time we say something, it's like, jack Sawyer intercept. That should be our bleed.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

It's just kind of long.

[Danny Kelly]

But, yeah, it's arguably more obnoxious than a bleep noise.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

What about a mic green Bang.

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh, bang. Oh, I thought you guys would love that. The other option someone sent in then was. I'm trying to remember. Oh, damn. I just kind of read that first. I'm like, well, that's it, I guess. I mean, it occurred to me you guys wouldn't want that.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Well, or we could do a shroud. It's got to be one word.

[Danny Heifetz]

Heifet's mispronouncing maestro was a suggestion.

[Danny Kelly]

Maestro, Maestro.

[Danny Heifetz]

Whatever. I still don't get. I don't know.

[Danny Kelly]

Play calling Maestro Tony Romo.

[Danny Heifetz]

Bizarre sounds he makes during the game that aren't words. Was a good one. The gong. Anyway. Okay, I guess these aren't as funny.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Collinsworth just.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, just sounds from broadcast. It's pretty funny. That's actually pretty good. That's pretty good. Oh, okay. Got an email here from my guys.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

I like Spencer Rattler. Mike. He's good.

[Danny Heifetz]

This guy.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

My Spencer Rattler's got some juice.

[Danny Kelly]

I love it. Like during the middle of a play, he goes.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

When Lamar's scrambling around, he's like.

[Danny Heifetz]

All right.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Every Sunday night game, by the way, is a game that Chris Collinsworth says, have you ever seen a game like this? I have never seen.

[Danny Kelly]

How does he get himself into such a good boot every game?

[Danny Heifetz]

Probably a million dollars a week. We'll do it.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

That.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, that's true.

[Danny Heifetz]

I got a story here about a bachelor party. When we go, just bring in Gen Z Spelling bee. What do you want to do?

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

How good is this story?

[Danny Heifetz]

It's pretty good.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Let's hear it.

[Danny Heifetz]

This is from Matthias. Matthias, Matthias.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Matthias. Matthias.

[Danny Heifetz]

So Matthias says, I am a Packers fan from Paraguay, and I swear this is a true story, which is usually how the best emails begin. None of my friends are football fans. You can just read this. It's fine. He says, I went to my. And again, this story is because I went to a bachelor party over the weekend and pulled my hamstring because my stupid friend Mike made me run 100 meter dash. I. So Matthias writes, I went to my best friend's bachelor party and we did what we usually do here in Paraguay for these kinds of events. One of the guys from the friend group had a barbecue at his house, and then we went to a strip club.

[Danny Kelly]

So pretty standard.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, pretty. Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

That's also what we do here.

[Danny Heifetz]

So Matthias writes, I don't drink alcohol. It's not like religion or anything like that. I just don't like drinking. So I'm usually the designated driver of the friend group, and I was driving us that night. I'm not a strip club expert, but even I could tell that the strip club sounded kind of shady throughout the day. You could only get. So they're at the barbecue guest, and he's realizing you could only get to the strip club if you had a previously appointed reservation. Like an appointment.

[Danny Kelly]

Odd Red flag.

[Danny Heifetz]

And he says, only one of our friends knew where the strip club was located. So he's just giving me directions while.

[Danny Kelly]

I'm driving off the map.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Yes.

[Danny Kelly]

Okay.

[Danny Heifetz]

And he's. And we're getting close to the place, and one of the guys from the friend group. Let's call him Michael, starts telling us about how he actually knows this neighborhood because this is where his grandma used to live.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Oh, sweet Christ.

[Danny Heifetz]

And after drive around for 10 more minutes.

[Danny Kelly]

Don't say it.

[Danny Heifetz]

We finally get to the strip club. And it turns out the strip club is not near Michael's grandmother's house. The strip club is Michael's grandmother's house.

[Danny Kelly]

What?

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

She's running wait.

[Danny Kelly]

Or something. Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

That'S what I said.

[Danny Kelly]

Like that strip club in Atlanta where it's older women doing the majority of the stripping.

[Danny Heifetz]

So Matthias writes, I will never forget my entire life. The shock on Michael's face. We get into the house and the stripper walks down this long staircase into the backyard to welcome us. And Michael turns to me and says that his uncle used to walk down that same staircase in Christmas dressed as Santa Claus.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

So. So this other friend knew about this strip club.

[Danny Heifetz]

I think the great.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

That was Michael's grandmother's house.

[Danny Heifetz]

I think the grandparents passed and whoever bought it made it a strip club. And that he showed up for the strippers at his grandmother's house. Which isn't as funny as if the grandmother was a madame.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Right?

[Danny Heifetz]

Or whatever.

[Danny Kelly]

This sounds like a. This sounds like a. Just a funny dream someone had. Like, I dreamt that my grandma's house.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Yeah, yeah. Imagine trying to have a good time. Time at your kitchen table.

[Danny Kelly]

You know how you still have. This is always kept weird to me. Like, I always have dreams. In my dreams, I'm at my old house where I grew up. Do you guys ever have that instead of like my current house? I'm always in my old houses sometimes.

[Danny Heifetz]

Not anything consistent like that.

[Danny Kelly]

I think it's so bizarre. And it's a strip club and it's weird.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Oh. Anyway, he stayed for five hours and got. That is unbelievable.

[Danny Heifetz]

Also.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

I didn't even really realize that. Is it. So it was a. It was a strip club. It was a house.

[Danny Kelly]

It was like an underground strip club.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Or was it like a.

[Danny Kelly]

Something bordello? Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

I don't know.

[Danny Kelly]

Lost in translation, Craig.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

I didn't know there were houses that could be strip clubs. Oh, I'll have to look into that. Yes, honey, just go to my buddy's house. Here's the address. Nothing shady. About this seats and address of a house.

[Danny Kelly]

It's perfect actually for these days, these times when it's tracked everywhere.

[Danny Heifetz]

Find my friends era. That is the act. I do think find my friends is the biggest difference that our generation has versus older ones. Like, you know what? Honestly, the older people listening, you can call it Craig and I's generation fucking snowflakes. You motherfuckers were never tracked everywhere you went, ever. Never. Don Draper could never survive today. This episode is brought to you by NFL Sunday Ticket on YouTube TV. You can watch every game, every Sunday all in one place so you don't miss a key moment on the field. With NFL Sunday Ticket and YouTube TV. And now you can get it monthly. Get NFL Sunday Ticket month to month and cancel any time. Head to YouTube.com ringer fantasy to sign up local and national games on YouTube TV. NFL Sunday Ticket for out of market games excludes digital only games. Base plan required. Renews every month during the 2025 regular season only your membership for the following month can be canceled anytime before your renewal date. Terms restrictions and embargo supply. Commercial use excluded. I want to bring in Kai for the Gen Z spelling bee, which is something we've been trying to do, God, I don't know, months. Look at this hero.

[Danny Kelly]

How's it going? How are y'? All?

[Danny Heifetz]

So are you.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Are you in studio, Kai, right now?

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, studio at a Nice setup. Yeah, no, this is my home. This is kg.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Kai's newly moved to la.

[Danny Heifetz]

Look at you, Kai.

[Danny Kelly]

Hell yeah, man.

[Danny Heifetz]

So I'm back. We're going to do Kai. We actually have been people emailing us asking where you are. So this is thrilling. We're going to do something live fun called the Gen Z Spelling bee. And just to get out of it, it's not literally a spelling bee. DK is not going to spell anything. But Kai is going to introduce some Gen Z slang because I think we've all felt a little out of touch with what the kids are saying.

[Danny Kelly]

Me especially.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

You are smack dab in the middle of Gen Z. How old are you?

[Danny Kelly]

So I'm 26 years old. Coming up on 27. So very washed. You know, admittedly this is a lot of Gen A slang. Like I'm Gen Z. Oh, but Gen A is like even, you know.

[Danny Heifetz]

They'Re Gen Beta. We do not get. They're not getting. They have to earn the Alpha title.

[Danny Kelly]

Fair enough. Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

So.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

But okay, so explain to me how this is going to work. Because hydrating Kai, you guys have been playing this. How does this work?

[Danny Kelly]

I think. Hi, Fis. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I have a series of words and sentences. I'll start with the word, see if DK just, like, can get it off the rip. And then if he can't, I'll provide the sentence and then we'll go.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

So, like, the goal for me is to figure out what the. These.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah. So dk, it's not actually spelling me. DK has to guess what this word means, and then Kai will tell him. And if not, like a spelling bee, DK can say. Can you use it in a sentence, please?

[Danny Kelly]

Yes. And I scoured the Internet for these sentences, so. Not mine.

[Danny Heifetz]

These are real.

[Danny Kelly]

Kind of like how I found in the.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

How many of these words did you already know?

[Danny Kelly]

That's a great question.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

How many of these do you use in your everyday life?

[Danny Kelly]

I mean, very, very slim.

[Danny Heifetz]

A few. But they're. They're used, though. These are. I've absolutely. Once he pointed them out to me, I've seen them. They're not, like, random. Someone made it once.

[Danny Kelly]

There are.

[Danny Heifetz]

There are words that, once I search them, I'm like, oh, my God, these are really being used.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

1. When you guys. We were on LA a couple weeks ago, Kai used one. I won't say it because maybe he'll bring it back up. The one that starts with a B. Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh, yeah, That's a good one.

[Danny Kelly]

So I don't have the list, but that could be. Maybe see how this goes.

[Danny Heifetz]

I also think he already knows Craig.

[Danny Kelly]

Not as fun.

[Danny Heifetz]

If you or I don't know them, I think we can join. But if we do know them, let's not say with the definition.

[Danny Kelly]

I remember which one you're.

[Danny Heifetz]

What is it?

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Is it a big bag or big back?

[Danny Kelly]

No, it's big back. It's big back.

[Danny Heifetz]

I actually don't know.

[Danny Kelly]

I still think, for example, when we were in the office, we were all there in a meeting, talking, whatever, and I was just, like, ordering Panda Express and thinking about Panda Express, and I was like, hey, not to be big back, but if anyone else wants to Panda Express, one I would never have gotten in a million years.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

All right. I mean, let's. Let's do.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, let's do it. So without further ado, give them the word, and then dk, you're gonna guess, and then you'll get a little help.

[Danny Kelly]

I would like to state, first of all, I think I know a good deal of them, and I'm still going to be terrible at this. Like, I would say for people who are 43. I'm probably in the. The upper percentile of how much Gen Z slang I know, but this is a bold proclamation. But I'm also a total boomer, so let's. I honestly hope you get these. It would be funnier.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

I don't think I'm gonna.

[Danny Heifetz]

If you need help, request it in a sentence.

[Danny Kelly]

Clanker.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Oh, yeah, I know.

[Danny Kelly]

Clanker, Clanker, Clinker. I haven't heard this one.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

I love clinker.

[Danny Kelly]

Clanker. Like, the funniest thing I've ever heard. I just, like, I lost it. Okay. When we're in the clanker war, and I come across Wally.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Fuck. Come on.

[Danny Heifetz]

And it's like, this is.

[Danny Kelly]

Like, I'm sad that this is happening. Like, we're in the clinker war, and I just, like, I run into Wally, and I got to. Just got to take him out.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Dk one day, there's a chance that your son dates a clanker, and that would be a nightmare.

[Danny Kelly]

Is that a robot? It's like a robot slurp.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

It's a derogatory term for basically, like, AI.

[Danny Heifetz]

It's all those Boston Robotics videos of, like, they could do, like, jiu Jitsu now with backflips.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

People call them clankers.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

It's so.

[Danny Kelly]

In 20 years, it's gonna be like, Actually, you can't say clanker.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Yeah, it is legit.

[Danny Kelly]

There's a bunch of other robots, I think, but.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Oh, my God.

[Danny Kelly]

Did you tell me that my son might be dating a clanker?

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

You never know.

[Danny Heifetz]

You can't call her that. Dad.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, dad. We don't say that anymore. Clanker.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Oh, God.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. People will just, like, record.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

You are not bringing home a clanker.

[Danny Kelly]

Not under my roof.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

When you're 18, you can date a clanker, go out into the world.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, my God. Yeah, it was something that immediately was just like, all right, we're. This is gonna get taken way too far.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

It's the perfect word.

[Danny Heifetz]

When we were doing this, it sounds like if you search Clanker on social media, the funniest pops up.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. There's some great sentences out there. That's really funny. Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

You wouldn't get in a Waymo. And you're like. Because you hate.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

I'm not getting into that clay.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, that's exactly right.

[Danny Kelly]

You see a way more. You're like, who's getting that clanker, by the way, for the record, we did. I don't know if we talked about this. Craig made me take a. Or he tricked me into doing a Waymo. And it was terrifying to doing a waymo.

[Danny Heifetz]

That's why we did the Gen Z.

[Danny Kelly]

Spelling, taking a waymo. What's the verb?

[Danny Heifetz]

All right. Incredible job.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, I have several more. So let's go. You just tell me when to stop.

[Danny Heifetz]

Keep going.

[Danny Kelly]

Okay, I'm gonna give you two words here. It's a compound sentence here. Chopped is one word. Okay. Okay, so start thinking and then unk is another word. Okay, so unk is just like an old guy. Yeah. Unc's like uncle. Yeah, I've seen this used. Like, unk was on one or something like that. You know, like, they're talking about, like, some old fogey. As you will. One of the funniest things, too, is, like, on TikTok, if there's like, an older guy and he's just doing something crazy. Like there was some video where this guy had, like, a Dr. Pepper and a McGriddle and it was just like a vibe. It like, ate the. The morning and is like, all right, Unk. I see you. I. I see people refer to LeBron as unk a lot. LeBron's definitely unk. I'm honestly, when I turn 27, I'll be. I'll be unk. That's unfortunate. Start calling Kai Unk. What was the other one? Chopped. Chopped. Well, I know the cooking show Chopped. Yeah, it's not that. I don't know that one. I. Okay, I'll use it in a sentence. Just found out I'm chopped. And also unknown. Chopped is like washed. No, it's ugly. Oh, that's a really good. This guy, I think he was like a substitute teacher or something, and he was like, kid told me just. He said, just found out I'm chopped. And also.

[Danny Heifetz]

I really want to know.

[Danny Kelly]

The etymology of where chop came at. That's really funny. Chopped is good. It took me a while to, like, figure out what chopped was actually like.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

I really.

[Danny Kelly]

I had never heard this before. I really love slang a lot of times sometimes it's terrible, but that's a really good one. Yeah, there's. There's some good stuff.

[Danny Heifetz]

Fetus Kai.

[Danny Kelly]

Okay. It's my first time cracking, so I put on my meta glasses to ft my experienced HB and he starts giving me phenomenal comms. That's just. There's several words in there, so I didn't get.

[Danny Heifetz]

Okay, just. What? Honestly, Come on, TK fix. That sentence means.

[Danny Kelly]

Okay, start over.

[Danny Heifetz]

Okay. I want to.

[Danny Kelly]

I want to take it one trans step. I got.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

I gotta really focus.

[Danny Heifetz]

Okay.

[Danny Kelly]

It's my first time Cracking. Okay. Cracking. So I put on my meta glasses to FT my experienced HB FaceTime. Yeah. My experienced. Don't know what HP is it?

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

I don't know.

[Danny Kelly]

I'll go back to it. And he starts giving me phenomenal comms.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Thanks.

[Danny Kelly]

My experienced hb.

[Danny Heifetz]

You said homeboy. Isn't that it?

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. HB my experience.

[Danny Heifetz]

No, no. DK said homeboy. I'll give him that. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. FaceTime. Your homeboy got the middle one. Got the middle part.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. And he's giving me phenomenal comms. Yeah.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

I'm assuming it's just communication.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. Well, give me the right things to do, let's say.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Okay.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, he. So, like, he's on his meta glasses and he's kind of like calling the play, like in the helmet kind of deal. Telling him what to do. Yes. So now let's find out what cracking is. So is this like where you go on a date and have your friends sort of like, listen and watch? You're close. What could happen after. Or fucking. Yeah, there you go. Jesus Christ. What are the kids doing these days?

[Danny Heifetz]

So innocent.

[Danny Kelly]

Is it when you're on. Are these young. Are these kids going in to call on a young lady?

[Danny Heifetz]

Bridgerton.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Jesus. Okay. So they're telling him things to do whilst. Okay, yeah. Giving me phenomenal second. Now I know why you say my experienced hb cracking with someone.

[Danny Heifetz]

Chops all coming together.

[Danny Kelly]

Cracking. It was so funny, too, because it was like a video of Tom Holland from the Spider man movie. And he puts on those special glasses that he just like, like, sees the world.

[Danny Heifetz]

That it's like.

[Danny Kelly]

Okay, so it's insane now. I forgot already. What is the term for when you have people helping you while having sex? Phenomenal comms. No, it was the first word. Crack. Cracking. Oh, that's just sex. Yeah. Like, so got cracked. You know, got. Cracking was specifically where you have someone.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

So it would be rare for somebody who is chopped to crack.

[Danny Heifetz]

Absolutely.

[Danny Kelly]

Nailed it. Cracking. You could say that I'm cracking. That's pretty good cracking. Yeah, cracking's good. Cracking and chopped are my two favorite.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Cracking. A clanker.

[Danny Heifetz]

Cracking.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Clank.

[Danny Kelly]

Sometimes. Yeah. Sometimes you have. Sometimes you have a little faith in. In. In the next generation.

[Danny Heifetz]

I don't right now. The clankers have phenomenal comms, though.

[Danny Kelly]

Also. That feels very illegal, what you just described. That's definitely. Are you kidding me? Let's not do that. We don't condone that. It's horrible. A lot of these sentences are giving me incredible comms. This is like Gamer. These are not things that I do. I am just the messenger. I want everyone to know that. Dude, that was really fun. Let's do this again.

[Danny Heifetz]

That running out here. Whatever, man.

[Danny Kelly]

Running out of here. Guys, there's a lot of nonsense out there. I do have an ace up my sleeve, but, you know, save that for later.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

You do.

[Danny Kelly]

Doing tricks on it like, it's nonsense, though. Doing tricks on it is good. Dk, do we want to explain that really quickly? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, was this on the show that we. That I. No, no, this was definitely on. On a call. Definitely not on.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

So it was something about. Was it? We were talking about LeBron. I forgot the context.

[Danny Heifetz]

We probably don't want to say the context we were discussing together.

[Danny Kelly]

I don't remember the context. It's basically just like if someone is glazing a little too hard, which we all know what glazing is. We've gone over that. Right, right. That's yesterday's slang. You know what I mean? It's like when you're glazing, it's like glazing ma. Glazing. Maxing as the kids. Yeah. So if you're like, yeah, he's just doing tricks on it. Like, don't worry about it. He's just doing tricks on it. Doing tricks on it. Yeah. I think that's actually my favorite one.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Clanker.

[Danny Kelly]

Don't forget about falling down to your knees.

[Danny Heifetz]

We're all going to be doing tricks on the clankers. Integrate AI.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Hopefully the clanker's doing tricks on us. Jesus.

[Danny Heifetz]

That's what it was supposed to be.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh, my God. All right. Thank you. Thank you, dk. Thank you.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

My son's not dating any clanker.

[Danny Heifetz]

Thank you, Kai, for doing the CH spell. Oh, my God. Thank you, Carlos. Thank you, Ronic. Thank you, Austin. Thank you, everybody, for listening. Emails. Ring your fancy football. Gmail.com emails, trivia questions. Email us fantasy courts. Send us your fantasy courts. Email us more Gen Z spelling be emails. Gen X spelling bee. I think that's gonna have to be next after DK just dropped orange.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

Fogey or whatever that. I don't know what any of those words means.

[Danny Kelly]

They did. They didn't know the term Fogy. An old folk.

[Danny Heifetz]

I don't even know that either. I have no idea what you're talking.

[Danny Kelly]

Just saying it's very well known.

[Danny Heifetz]

I don't know. Yes. Brands that are gone. I don't know. Email us whatever. Yeah. Thank you, Lord.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Lord.

[Danny Kelly]

Thank you, Michael Jackson. What was he doing again? Lulu, what was it?

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

I don't know.

[Danny Kelly]

Glad bot.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Hi, Vince. My buddy just texted me. He asked, Chat GPT did plants at Home Depot make more money than lvmh? And he said, the answer just Chad, GPT says no.

[Danny Heifetz]

Well, I'll pull up the argument. The article where I found it.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Well, Chat GPT is never wrong, so. No, it says that LVMH's revenue was 84 billion and that plants made 20 billion.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, well, sorry, a lot of misinformation on this. This podcast here.

[Danny Heifetz]

Regardless, plants in Home Depot made $20 billion. That's higher than any anyone would.

[Danny Kelly]

That's the point, really. Yeah, I have bought plants at Home Depot before.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Have you bought anything from lvmh?

[Danny Kelly]

But I also buy plants. I don't even know what that is. I also buy plants at our local plant store, too, to support the local economy.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

LVMH is a conglomerate that owns, like, Louis Vuitton.

[Danny Heifetz]

It's all the fashion luxury brands are under, like, a parent company.

[Danny Kelly]

Like, it's like they're richer than God. Right.

[Danny Heifetz]

It's pretty crazy. There are also. Oh, wait, no, that's Arnault. Never minds the car people. It's the real Succession family, where, like, Arnall's like, one of. Quietly one of the five richest people in the world, and, like, Arnault is.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

The CEO of lv.

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh, yeah, wait, sorry. No, I'm. Yeah, I'm right. That company is the real succession that actually is happening along with the Murdochs. They're like, there's five kids and someone, and they don't know who's gonna run what.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

The Murdochs just settled. The kids took their money. They're out.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Now it's Lachlan who's. Who's next in line. The other three kids took the money. They got, like, a billion dollars.

[Danny Heifetz]

You know what's crazy, though, is Lachlan, one of his kids. Kids who would run it next, is trying to marry a clanker.

[Danny Kelly]

Somehow I'm like, Kelio, it feels like I'm gonna get canceled for, like, six.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

In 15 years.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, they're gonna pull this.

[Danny Heifetz]

You guys ever wonder if, like, you know what's so funny? It always. The Matrix, all the stuff. It never felt real. But when I. We see everything happening, I feel like I'm looking into two rooms in a. In a. Like, I'm at a house and one room's on fire, and the other is just full of, like, oxygen tanks. And I'm like. I just see all this AI happening over here and I see all these videos of Boston Robotics, 10 foot tall people learning to fucking kickbox. On the other hand, and I'm like, isn't the easiest thing ever for the AI to just run the like. Yeah, this actually, I'm actually, for the first time ever, actually afraid of this. And we're going to describe all these videos and they're gonna be like, anyone who ever said Clanker is gonna get murdered.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

This is why one day we're all just gonna live in a remote cabin and have a little recording studio. And that's our life.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, we'll just do that.

[Danny Kelly]

I, for one, welcome our clinker.

[Danny Heifetz]

Thank you, Clanker overlords. I should, I should have thanked them for that.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

I say thank you to my waymos out loud verbally. Because one day when they take over and kill everybody, maybe they'll spare.

[Danny Heifetz]

When I use chat GPT, I write please.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

I do too.

[Danny Heifetz]

Thank you.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

I do too.

[Danny Heifetz]

As opposed to the way you talk to Google, which is just like dkb. I'm like, how old am I?

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

Why does she smell?

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Amanda ciphered clips.

[Danny Kelly]

Craig, she's in a new movie. Did you see this with none other than.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Oh, Sydney Sweeney? Yes.

[Danny Kelly]

I mean, the amount of plot, acting talent in that movie is going to be overwhelming.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

It's also. It's like a horror movie. I won't be watching it, but that's fine.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Just the clips.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, for watching it, for the plot, you know.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Right.

[Danny Heifetz]

Clankers.

[Craig Kalkbrenner]

Clankers.

[Danny Heifetz]

All right, goodbye. Everyone must be 21 + and present in select states or 18 + and present in DC, Kentucky or Wyoming. Opt in must apply Profit boost token on select market prize pool to be split equally among all eligible participants who made the correct first or last TD pick bonus issued as non withdrawable bonus bets which expire 21 days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See [e-mail] Gambling problem. Call 1-800- gambler or visit rg-help.com Call 1-888-789-7777 or visit cc pg.org Chatinceneticut Martha listens to her favorite band all the time. In the car, gym, even sleeping. So when they finally went on tour, Martha bundled her flight and hotel on Expedia to see them live. She saved so much she got to see close enough to actually see and hear them. Sort of. You were made to scream from the front row. We were made to quietly save you more Expedia made to travel savings vary and subject to availability. Flight inclusive packages are at all protected.