Rodgers Cooks, Dolphins Freeze, and Week 16 Waivers

Summary

The Ringer Fantasy Football Show – "Rodgers Cooks, Dolphins Freeze, and Week 16 Waivers"

Date: December 16, 2025
Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, Craig Horlbeck

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck break down the fantasy football fallout from the Week 15 Monday Night Football game between the Steelers and Dolphins, dissect what's wrong with Miami, praise Pittsburgh's win, and offer detailed Week 16 waiver wire advice to help listeners survive the semifinals—or simply avoid last place. The team’s trademark irreverent banter is on full display, with riffs on questionable coaching, fantasy heartbreaks, the Dolphins’ sub-freezing futility, and even an accidental deep-dive into fart frequency research.

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Steelers-Dolphins Recap & Takeaways

[02:00–18:00]

Game Recap

• Steelers beat Dolphins 28–15 in a game that was, as Heifetz said, “kind of hard to watch.” The Steelers' win puts them in strong position for the playoffs, needing just one more victory to ensure a winning season.
• Both teams struggled in the first quarter, described by Craig as a “mess.”
• Steelers took control in the third quarter, where “Rogers was awesome” ([03:00], B).

Notable Quote

• "Troy Aikman fucking hates the Dolphins." – Craig ([03:02])
• “If you look at the statute [stat sheet]... Tua was essentially better stats than Rogers. If you just check the box score, but that was all fourth quarter garbage time.” – Craig ([03:29])

Dolphins in Crisis

• Tua Tagovailoa’s performance deeply scrutinized: once had “a great arm” but now visibly diminished, partly from injuries ([04:57], C).
• “If he doesn’t just hit his back foot and get the ball out, yeah, that offense is a fucking disaster.” – Danny Kelly ([05:21])
• The offense leans almost entirely on schemed timing. When anything breaks down, Tua’s “limitations” are exposed.
• “They’re just too small” – Danny Kelly on Miami’s roster, emphasizing fragility, injury-proneness, and lack of toughness in cold-weather games ([10:41], C).
• Dolphins have lost 14 straight games with kickoff temperatures below 40 degrees ([12:58], B).

Team-Building Critique

• “Every position the Dolphins support draft capital into, they haven’t fixed the problems… and that usually gets the GM fired.” – Heifetz ([12:32])
• Consensus: Dolphins are in “purgatory”—not among the league’s worst, but firmly stuck in mediocrity.
• “Would you rather be the Browns or the Dolphins?” – ongoing debate with biting humor ([14:10])

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Steelers’ Success

[15:46–18:44]

• The Steelers were praised for a classic, tough win, even without T.J. Watt.
• Astounding stat: “Steelers have won 23 straight home games on Monday Night Football” ([16:03], A).
• Style contrast: Steelers’ size/physicality vs. Dolphins’ speed/smallness.
• Hosts believe Steelers could “ugly their way to a playoff win” if the matchup is right ([17:26], B).

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Fantasy Fallout: MNF & Player Performances

[19:04–19:30]

• “If you had Darren Waller or Jalen Waddle, you had very different experiences tonight.” – Heifetz
• Most fantasy points for Dolphins players came in late-game garbage time.

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Week 16 Waiver Wire Breakdown

[21:34–52:30]
Position-by-position recommendations with analysis and signature banter.

Running Backs

• Top pick: Michael Carter (Cardinals)
  • “Came in and had 14 carries and another four targets… playing the Falcons next.” – Danny Kelly ([22:09], C)
• Others: Bill Merritt (Washington), Brian Robinson (if available)
• Notable Moment: Extended lament about slim pickings and the misery of starting low-end RBs: “If you need to play a running back, you’re screwed. I think we’d each take 7 or 8, maybe 10 receivers over the running backs we just talked about.” – Heifetz ([28:15], A)

Wide Receivers

• Top pick: Jaden Reed (Packers)
  • “He gets schemed the ball; playing the Bears; I want Jaden Reed.” – Heifetz ([30:12], A)
• Other options: Jalen Coker (Panthers), Jaden Higgins (Texans), Cooper Kupp (Seahawks – revenge game narrative), Luther Burden (if healthy)
• Caveats: Watch for injury practice reports (Luther Burden), matchups, and snap counts.

Tight Ends

• Top pick: Colston Loveland (Michigan)
  • “Five plus targets in four straight games… ascending and a big part of their offense.” – Danny Kelly ([44:02, 44:10])
• Kyle Pitts and Brenton Strange are top priorities if available.
• Other options: Darren Waller (Dolphins, for TD upside), Colby Parkinson (Rams – “six touchdowns in the last six games”) ([40:05], C)

Quarterbacks

• Best available (in order): Trevor Lawrence, Jacoby Brissett, J.J. McCarthy (“J.J. is more decisive and he’s gonna run.” – Kelly [54:06]), Marcus Mariota.
• Preference for McCarthy over Mariota if both are available.

Defenses

• Top streamers: Chiefs vs Titans (Cam Ward sacks galore), Vikings vs Giants, Niners vs Colts (mixed feelings due to Phil Rivers’ quick release), Saints vs Jets (Brady Cook INT-prone), Bills vs Browns.
• “If I go down because Brady Cook lights up the Saints, it’s the right process.” – Craig ([57:17], B)

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Memorable Moments, Quotes, and Tangents

Dolphins’ Cold Weather Curse

• “Dolphins have now lost 14 straight games with kickoff temperatures below 40 degrees. 14 in a row, which is tough.” – Craig ([12:58])

Steelers on MNF

• “Steelers have won 23 straight home games on Monday Night Football at home… Tomlin is 12-0. Cowher was 11-0.” – Heifetz ([16:03], A)

Humorous Side-Tangents

• Extended, absolutely deranged trivia about the SS Edmund Fitzgerald’s length, the Sills family genealogy, and frequency of flatulence in the average male ([25:31–52:30]).
• “How many times does the average healthy man fart per day?” – Ben’s trivia question, inspiring a digression full of wild guesses (“13… I don’t fart 40 times a day!”) and self-shaming banter ([45:13–50:40]).
• Latin words for fart: “flatus” (silent), “crepitus” (with noise) — “So that is literally fart or shart pretty much.” ([68:00])
• “This country needs a lot more shame, let’s be honest.” – Danny Kelly ([52:38])

NFL/Society Parallels

• Chernobyl, Large Hadron Collider, and the theme of institutional failure due to fear of speaking up—“It’s just funny how many things happen because you’re afraid to speak up to your boss.” – Craig ([66:18])

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Closing Banter

[67:20–end]

• Ongoing running joke about fart sounds replacing people’s names in the edit.
• Discussion of Ben Affleck / Jennifer Lopez memes: “So many good ones… it’s also so brutal; these are people’s lives.” – Craig ([70:43])
• End with “thank yous” to the production crew and customary the-lord-and-J.Lo acknowledgments.

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Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• “If he [Tua] doesn’t just hit his back foot and get the ball out, yeah, that offense is a fucking disaster.” – Danny Kelly ([05:21])
• “I just want to leave Washington, I want to let Washington go.” – Danny Heifetz ([23:22])
• “Steelers have won 23 straight home games on Monday Night Football.” – Danny Heifetz ([16:03])
• “If you need to play a running back, you’re screwed.” – Danny Heifetz ([28:15])
• “Five games in a row as long as they’re [Jets, Browns, Raiders] around.” – Craig ([13:16])

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Key Recommendations, Week 16 Waivers

Running Backs:

• Michael Carter (Cardinals) – strong volume, good schedule
• Bill Merritt (Washington) or Brian Robinson (if available)

Wide Receivers:

• Jaden Reed (Packers) – top target
• Jalen Coker (Panthers), Jaden Higgins (Texans), Cooper Kupp (Seahawks, for revenge game appeal)
• Monitor: Luther Burden (if full practice)

Tight Ends:

• Colston Loveland (Michigan) – steady volume, upside if other receivers are hurt
• Darren Waller (Dolphins), Colby Parkinson (Rams) for TD upside

Quarterbacks:

• Trevor Lawrence, Jacoby Brissett, J.J. McCarthy (over Mariota, if possible)

Defenses:

• Chiefs vs Titans
• Vikings vs Giants
• Niners vs Colts
• Saints vs Jets
• Bills vs Browns

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Final Thoughts

This episode combines sharp, actionable fantasy analysis with the hosts’ signature wit and free-spirited tangents—equally adept at dissecting the Dolphins’ existential spiral and diving into the science of flatulence. For fantasy managers in their semis (or fighting relegation), the hosts’ consensus and colorful arguments on Week 16 waivers deliver the straight dope in a uniquely Ringer way.

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Transcript

[A]

Foreign. Welcome to the Ringer Fantasy Football Show. My name is Danny Hyphens and I'm joined by Danny Kelly and Greg Korobeck. We're going over all the players you should add entry Week 16, the fantasy football semifinals or just not coming in last in your league if you're in the toilet bowl, in which case we're sorry and probably our fault. Whatever you need, we're gonna go through the players and the barn burner. That was the Steelers Dolphins Monday Night Football playoff game. But if it was fantasy, it was pretty riveting if you needed points from Jalen Waddle or Darren Waller. Wow, what a, what a game.

[B]

And boy do we have a great show for you tonight. Jennifer Lopez is here. Stick around and we'll be right back.

[A]

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[C]

They were huddling.

[A]

They were huddling. It was actually insane. They were shocked that they had time at the end, but the Steelers were so much better throughout. Craig, how did you feel watching the Steelers probably end up winning the division? Honestly, if they could beat the Ravens in the last week of the season.

[B]

It'S looking like once again the Steelers are going to have a winning season. The Steelers are now 8 and 6. They play the Lions, then they play Cleveland and then they finish with Baltimore. So they need one win out of the next three games to be over.500. I thought they looked outside. The first quarter was a Mess. Both teams looked like shit. And then the Steelers snuck ahead 73 to go into the half. And then after that, the Steelers actually looked pretty good. They had a really dominant third quarter. Rogers was awesome. I think my big takeaway from this game is that Troy Aikman fucking hates the Dolphins. He was upset with how they handled the fourth quarter. He was upset with how you pronounce Devon HN's name at the end. He was upset all the way through. But this is a classic Steelers win. They didn't have T.J. watt.

[C]

Maybe he was hungry.

[B]

I think he would give him.

[A]

I think he was shocked that this.

[B]

He was.

[A]

Dolphins were huddling down three touchdowns.

[C]

Name have to do with him?

[B]

He was bored, angry and cold.

[C]

Yeah, that's fair.

[B]

They have to kind of stand outside, feel the weather like they're on their big coats there. I don't know. If you look at the statute of this game, it does not tell the story of the game. Like it says that, you know, Tua was essentially a better stats than Rogers. If you just check the box score, 22 for 28, 253, two touchdowns. He basically has identical stats to Rogers. But that was all fourth quarter kind of garbage time stuff. They couldn't do anything for, for. For three quarters. And honestly my thinking of this game. So the Dolphins are essentially, you know, it's over for, for Miami and sorry to Carlos, but I was thinking about this. Are the Dolphins the last franchise you'd want to be right now?

[A]

Carlos is going to lose his mind. Carlos is so pissed. They had a five game winning streak. We didn't talk about it once. Now they lose a Monday football, we're back on them. I don't know if they're the last team you'd want to be, but it's not great because I think we went from thinking Mike McDaniel be the first coach fired. Carlos was ranting before the show, but he's right that I don't think Mike McDaniel is the problem. It's Tua. But we talked about this the other day. That Tua. They can't get rid of tua next season. 2 is untradeable, uncuttable. 2 is the quarterback next year. DK, I wanted to ask you this because watching Tua again, obviously he's had like, he's had so many injuries. Obviously all the concussions get the headlines. But he also had the tightrope surgery on his ankle. He had the hip injury. And I was watching the other day, two actually in college I was watching Old tape of Tua at Alabama. And I was kind of reminded, Tua used to have a great arm.

[C]

He used to have way more juice, both as an athlete in terms of moving around and. And with his arm, obviously, like, I think a lot of the power for your throw comes from your lower half, and, you know, he just doesn't have that anymore. It's.

[A]

It's a kinetic chain that goes from your. Like, the tips of your toes to the fingers. And every injury, it's kind of like leaking energy. And Carlos made the point before. Like, he's getting worse. Like, he's getting worse.

[C]

I mean, the other thing is. And look, this is true for everybody that comes from college to the NFL, but, like, the guys in the NFL are bigger, faster, and stronger. And relative to those guys, Tua just. He's just not fast enough. He's not. He can't move in the pocket. If you. If you force him off his first read, things get really dicey. He actually made a handful, maybe like, two or three plays out of structure in this game that kind of kept the Dolphins at least making it interesting. But, like, at the. At the end of the day, like, if he doesn't just hit his back foot and get the ball out, yeah, that offense is a fucking disaster. Like, the run game is what keeps that offense afloat. Tua is not necessarily even helping the passing game anymore as much as he used to. I think you could. Like, when they resigned him, I think you could at least defend the decision that, like, he was the guy that made the passing game go in terms of the timing and how quickly he got the ball out and the decisiveness and all that. But it doesn't really feel like he has any of that anymore, at least. It's definitely waned a lot. No.

[B]

Yeah, the Steelers kind of sold out to stop the run today really well, and then it just left Tua kind of flailing back there. It's just tough. He can't. He's. The mobility is so. Is so limited. His arm is so limited now, and it's kind of just like, I don't really know, like, what his thing is that you can work off of. Unless, like you said, dk, it's like this, like, really tight in rhythm stuff. He can still do that. But if anything breaks down, I mean, the Steelers did not have a pass rush tonight at all. And because he had no tj, they could not get pressure at all. And he was still struggling. I mean, their second Steeler secondary is not that good. There were guys weren't open to, couldn't find anybody and was still taking sacks just because he couldn't throw the ball.

[C]

I mean, he, he ended up 22. He only had four incompletions, which he had six. Sorry, six incompletions.

[A]

But it was all.

[B]

After.

[A]

It was all guarded.

[B]

3. Yeah.

[C]

So, yeah, I mean, he, he just. Yeah, they did not have an offense for the first three quarters. They kind of made it look interesting towards the end there. Um, but yeah, I don't know. I. I'm with you guys. I just think like, it's kind of at this point, it's like they're in purgatory until this contract runs out. Oh, here's Ben Solak. Our buddy had this stat from. This is perfect. 2 of 6 out of 10 for 65 yards with a pick 2 sacks on 4 pressures through the first 3 quarters. And then obviously, like he put some numbers up.

[A]

They literally didn't get a first down from midway through the second quarter until I think in the middle of the fourth quarter, they didn't have a first down.

[B]

Most of their throws in the first three quarters of the game was him like checking down to tight ends, running backs. Like, he wasn't until the fourth quarter that he started throwing over the middle of the field.

[A]

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[C]

Yeah the thing I always come back to and I've said this a few times but the at least in the passing game because I think they've gotten better as a run team in terms of physicality and kind of mixing it up. They have a couple of bigger guys now that are doing some things with Ollie Gordon And Jalen Wright, but they're just too small. Like this is a really small team to us. Small. Achan is one of the smaller running backs in the NFL. Waddle is small and not very physical and he gets hurt all the time. Like constantly going to the sideline with something. He did that again tonight, ended up with like three points. In fantasy. Their other guy, Malik Washington is like kind of the number two receiver. He's tiny. Tyreek Hill was like their number one. They lost him. The only guys that they have with any size. They had to bring Darren Waller out of retirement and get him to come back. He's been like injured half, half the season anyway. And then you have like Greg Dulcich, I guess, who they got from the Giants who's like flash at times when.

[A]

He dropped a big two point cast off players.

[B]

Yeah, they brought in Nick Westbrook. Akine.

[C]

This is just. It's a failure in. And this is Carlos's line. It's like the G. It starts at the gm. Like it's a failure to put together a good team. It's. It's a failure to put together a roster that can compete in a tough and physical NFL. This is why they're fucking terrible in the cold weather. But one of the reasons the cold.

[A]

Is such a thing.

[C]

I'm sorry, it's a bunch of small dudes going up against really big physical guys in, in the cold weather. Especially like that's going to show up.

[A]

To circle back to Craig's question. They did the right thing, I think firing Chris Greer, the GM and keeping Mike McDaniel and everyone including us, thought they were going to fire Mike McDaniel. And I think that was clearly the right decision.

[C]

And.

[A]

I think. Yeah, I mean honestly, I'm at the point where I'm like, if they fired Mike McDaniel, I'm like it. Maybe the Giants should have Mike McDaniel and like Jackson dart. Like let him Jackson dart. So they probably should get.

[B]

If, if the do fired Mike McDaniels, he'd be the Eagles offensive coordinator next year and the Eagles will win the Super Bowl.

[A]

Yeah, honestly, probably so. I think they made the right decision, but the reality is that they've every position the Dolphins support draft capital into. They haven't fixed the problems. And that usually gets the GM fired, usually quicker than the 20 years that Chris Greer got. But I, I don't think it's the worst. But yeah, they're. They're a couple years away because Tua is not going. They're gonna have to cut two in 2027. So it's weird when you look at the Patriots, you look at the Bills. It's not hard to feel like you're falling behind. At least the jets are always going to be right there with you.

[B]

So the Dolphins have now lost 14 straight games with kickoff temperatures below 40 degrees. 14 in a row, which is tough. I shouldn't have said that. They're. They're the most hapless organization in the league. That's probably wrong. Or the worst case scenario.

[A]

That's pretty rude. It's pretty rude.

[C]

No one, no one can pass the Jets.

[A]

Well, just have the Browns or Jets.

[C]

Five games in a row as long as they're around.

[B]

Yeah, but in terms of like, I don't know. I think they're in the same bucket. Like they're not the worst, but I think they are in the bucket of the worst.

[A]

There's in terms of mediocrity.

[B]

Yeah. Well, it's like what you have to look forward to. At least if you're like, I don't the Raiders or like the, you know, Cleveland or something, you can tell yourself that, like next year we could get Fernando Mendoza and like, maybe we'll be good too. I mean, with Miami, the roster needs so much work. You don't have a quarterback. You're tied to a quarterback that you know is not the answer. There's a weird way in which like this is the worst place to be in.

[A]

That's. You want to buy the one thing I'll say. I can already tell Carlos is going to edit this to make us. He's going to, he's going to do horrible.

[C]

I Love, I love Tua. Amazing.

[A]

But I'm just saying if the Dolphins win two of their last three, they will not have won less than eight games since 2019. So I mean they have won nine or 10 or eight games every single year through this. So it's like. But they are the kind of the definition of they're just purgatory to me. Yeah, they're in purgatory.

[B]

Would you rather be the Browns or the. Or the Dolphins?

[A]

The Dolphins. By far the Browns are the worst team in the century. And then they paid a quarter of a billion dollars to DeShawn Watson at three first round picks for.

[B]

I, I, I don't going forward right now. Like if you had to bet.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Four years from now, which team is better, the. The Browns or the Dolphins?

[A]

The Dolphins. I will literally, if I. You asked me about that same question. But for every team in all four Sports, including athletics. I would take the Browns last.

[B]

How many teams would you take instead of Miami or I guess how many teams would you take below Miami? Would you rather be the jets or.

[A]

Miami Jets, Browns and Raiders I think have to be below.

[B]

Saints.

[C]

Saints too. Yeah, yeah, sure.

[A]

Like the Jets, Browns and Raiders were coming up on like 20, a combined 70 years where they've had like six of the three teams have been relevant for like six of the last 70 years. If you combine their 21st century runs.

[B]

Miami Titans. Isn't Miami's playoff win record like worse than those teams?

[A]

Yeah, but like they, they haven't won a playoff game in quite some time. But, but the point is that They've been winning eight to 11 games every year for a while. Like yeah, they're not horrible, but they're just purgatory.

[C]

Depends on how you look at it. I think Craig, Craig's definitely looking at it from like, I don't know. It's like with the Cardinals like hope and vibes. I feel like hope is always the worst with the Browns for some reason. Like the jets. People don't even have hope for the Jets.

[B]

That's. Yeah, it's probably Jets, Raiders, Saints and, and Browns and then Miami.

[A]

I think you're right. The, the one thing I want to say about the Steelers also before we move on here is I just want to acknowledge the thing they said.

[B]

I know we didn't talk about the team who won very much, but I.

[A]

Feel like well, Carlos has berated us cuz I, I have to. This stat they said at the end of the broadcast I thought was unbelievable.

[B]

The Monday Night Football stat.

[A]

The Steelers have won 23 straight home games on Monday Night Football at home. Yeah. So home Monday Night Football games. Tomlin is 12 0.

[B]

Coward didn't lose either.

[A]

Cower was 11 0. So the last Steelers coach to lose a home game for Pittsburgh on Monday Night Football is Chuck Noel. Yeah. 23 and 0 in their last 23 games.

[C]

What year was that?

[A]

1992.

[C]

Damn.

[A]

I, I thought that was crazy. There's also the first game where two tight ends had a rushing touchdown. We didn't even mention the fantasy part of.

[C]

How can we not talk about the. We can't talk about this whole game without talking about DK Metcalf's insanely awesome.

[B]

Touchdown Cyborg Terminator touchdown shook a guy stiff arm.

[C]

Stiff armed a guy like backwards. It was very weird. I. I've never seen it. I've never seen that style of stiff arm. He like caught at the ball and the Guy was like behind him and he just kind of like shoved him down with his backhand.

[B]

He like, it like propelled him forward. He like sucked the energy from the DB behind him to push him into the end zone. Then he just.

[C]

Another guy.

[B]

Big boys, dude. It's just tight end DK Metcalf running around this.

[C]

These are the two. The, the. The biggest difference in terms of the style of these two offenses is the, is the Steelers versus Dolphins. The Steelers are coming out with DK Metcalf, like three tight end sets for getting Darnell Washington. They're like, yeah. And then you have the Dolphins who are just like these little itty bitty guys.

[B]

I think because of what Rogers is still capable of, I do think that the Steelers can win a playoff game. Like if it's the right matchup. Like if they play the Chargers, they could beat the Chargers at home.

[C]

Yeah, I've.

[A]

Outside of the Chargers, honestly are the only team ain't gonna make the playoff feel I don't think can win the game. I feel like maybe they have Herbert, but I don't know. I feel like there is the parody this season. I feel more confident that any given team could win a playoff game this year. Whereas there's always two or three where you're like, they have no fucking chance. Like, you know what I mean? There's always a couple teams that squeak in. You're like, they're gonna get rocked.

[B]

Oh, like, like I think, I think the Steelers could beat Jacksonville and, and the Chargers.

[A]

I mean, the Patriots, even though that, you know, like, even though that game in September wasn't as close as the score seems because they kept fumbling the ball. The Patriots did like, like the nature of the division winners this year. I don't think you have a ton of confidence them in the playoffs.

[B]

Yeah, because like at the end of the day, Rogers can still have a game where he looks pretty good. And if the, if the protection is right and like he's kind of in the flow, you kind of know if it's going to be a good Rogers game or not in the first quarter. And so if it's. If it's the right game and they can run the ball a little bit, I think the Steelers could win. Ugly their way to a win.

[A]

Well, it's week 18. If the beat the Ravens, they're in probably. And if they lose, they're out. And even if they are, they're out. Honestly, I think the Steelers are going to bring Tomlin back, they're going to bring Rogers back, and they're going to do this again, isn't it?

[B]

Don't they? If they win one of the next two, aren't they automatically in?

[A]

It depends, but I think you probably have to be Baltimore.

[B]

Yeah, I think if Baltimore loses one more game and the Steelers win one more game, it might be moot. But I could be wrong.

[A]

Yeah, Steelers, Lions, next week. Okay, enough about that.

[B]

What a game.

[A]

What a game. I just, it was a game.

[B]

Another great prime time.

[C]

It was, it was another one of the games that happened this NFL season.

[A]

If you had Darren Waller or Jalen Waddle, you had very different experiences tonight. If you had stuff on the line.

[B]

Yeah, nothing happened until the fourth quarter. Like everybody was just sweating out their fantasy matchups and basically until the Dolphins garbage time stuff started. Until I actually put together a decent fantasy day because it was, it was roug like the first half. He almost had negative points.

[A]

It was ridiculous. Also, I'm looking up right now this. If you win the Ravens game, it doesn't matter.

[B]

I know, but what, what if they, what if the Steelers win a game before the Ravens game? Because I'd like.

[A]

That doesn't change it a ton. If you lose to like the Lions next week but beat the Browns, it doesn't change a ton. Like you'd have, like you'd have to. If you go two and oh into that game. That's one conversation.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

It's a wrap.

[A]

Yeah, Depends. Okay, let's get to all the players you should add entering week 16. This episode is brought to you by McAfee. Game days can be hectic, which is why having McAfee watching your back just makes sense. From checking stadium bag policies to scouting player stats, safe browsing alerts you to risky or unsafe sites faster than a ref throws a flag. Visit mcafee.com/online protection today to get award winning online protection for just 39.99your first year. Cancel anytime terms apply. The world of Avatar will change forever. This Friday, discover why Avatar Fire and Ash is being hailed as bigger, better and more emotional than ever. And the best one yet. Avatar Fire and ash in theaters, IMAX and 3D screens everywhere. This Friday, get tickets now. All right, let's get to waivers. We're going to go through players position by position. My. My voice cracked. That's how long we've been doing it. It's week 15 entering week 16. People know how it works. So we're going to go position by position. We're going to go. We're going to tell you who we pick. And if we don't pick the same player. We'll do a trivia tiebreaker. It's not complicated. You'll figure it out. People probably know how it works by now. So without further ado, DK entering week 16, if you're still either fighting into the semifinals or just trying to avoid last place, who's the number one running back you would add off of waivers entering week 16?

[C]

I think I'm gonna go with Blake Corum for the Rams. I will say the Seahawks.

[B]

We've been saying Blake Corum for a month.

[C]

I'm, like, doing the Bernie meme. Like, I'm once again asking you to add Blake Corum.

[B]

If you haven't yet, I don't know what to tell you.

[A]

Should we graduate Blake Corum out of this exercise?

[C]

Let's do it.

[B]

Probably because I feel like Even though he's 40% in Yahoo, it's because, you know, half these leagues, like, are fake and the people, the real leagues. Somebody has Blake Harm.

[C]

So let's graduate him. I think the next person on this list is going to be Michael Carter for the Cardinals.

[A]

Are we graduating Tyler LG out of this while we're at it for the philosopher?

[C]

Yeah, yeah. We've been talking about these guys for, like, a month and a half. Michael Carter for the Cardinals. Bam. Knight injured his ankle. It does not look good for him to come back next week. Carter came in and had 14 carries and another four targets, so. And then they get the Falcons next. The Cardinals are great in one sense, that they're fun for fantasy. They like, you know, Jacoby Brissette. They do a lot of plays. They pass the ball a lot. Generally speaking, they're kind of scoring a lot of points. They're not winning any games, which is whatever, but, you know, they're good for fantasy. So I'm going to go with Michael Carter for the Cardinals starting this week.

[A]

It's.

[B]

It's. It's grim. It's slim pickings down here at the bottom of the barrel. But yeah, yeah, it's him or Bill Merritt for me, honestly, on Washington. But yeah, yeah, I, I think I go with Michael Carter.

[A]

I think Michael Carter for a couple reasons. I, I have him first over Jacor Crosky, Merritt. I, I just, I'm kind of done with Washington. Jaden Daniels got shut down for the season, which is probably the right decision to will not get Dan Quinn fired or chased by mobs with pitchforks if Jaden Daniels went back out there. But I, I mean, Jeremy. So after us talking of Chris Rodriguez, And I talked to Chris Rodriguez. Chris Rodriguez is out. He misses last week of the groin injury. And then Jeremy McNichols plays the first two drives. And then Shakur Crosby merit plays and gets some run with touchdown. And I'm like, I don't. I just want to leave Washington. I want to let Washington go. Yeah, I just want to let him go. They're playing the Eagles next week, and I'm like, you turn on the games at this point of the year, and it's like you can have a guy in that wintry mix of snow and wind, and the Cardinals, man, are like playing on a different planet. So I, I, the fact that all this, I, I think Michael Carter is just getting 12 carries on a team that's going to be trying to score. I'm going to go with Michael Carter.

[B]

Yeah, I think that's right. With that said, that means we are officially in the. We're in. We're heading into week two of playoff waivers. This is nut crunching time. And that means it's time for the Michael Carter voice crack.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Showdown time. They come in three voice cracks. Now we just need DK's voice to crack.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

We'll complete the show for it.

[A]

All right, this trivia question here is from Ross.

[C]

Hold on. Okay, well, our bone, Craig, what's the score for trivia?

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Oh, right.

[C]

I know I'm not winning.

[B]

You're damn right you're not. The trivia is Hetz and I are tied with 16 DK's at 9.

[C]

Wow, dude.

[B]

Still some time. You're all right.

[A]

DK is like the Bengals in the FC north technically. Took a.

[B]

Not mathematically, dude.

[C]

At one point, I think I was winning. I just like haven't won in like two months now. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, well, yeah, it's kind of what I said.

[C]

Like the Kyler Murray of trivia.

[A]

Cardinals aren't doing so hot with Jacoby Brissette either. Okay, sure. There's some Ross.

[C]

Arbo Ross. They were great reference, Craig.

[A]

Breakfast was a cup of Irish breakfast tea with a splash of milk and an everything bagel with cream cheese.

[B]

Sounds lovely.

[C]

A lot of bagels, dude.

[B]

People.

[C]

A lot of bagels in our demo.

[B]

That is my number one takeaway is way more. People eat bagels.

[A]

People love bagels, man. So Ross's question is, since Gordon Lightfoot was so involved in Craig's Spotify wrapped.

[C]

The number one song Sundown, it got.

[A]

Ross thinking about the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald.

[C]

Sure as one is want to do.

[A]

Ross writes Edmund Fitzgerald easily A top five song about the sinking of an iron ore freighter in the Great Lakes. So Ross's question is how long was the SS Edmund Fitzgerald? Christ in feet. Okay, I've written my day, my answer down ahead of time.

[B]

Yeah, I bet you have.

[C]

All right.

[B]

I. I don't know. How big was this ship? I don't know.

[A]

How big's the boat?

[C]

Are we gonna do the countdown?

[A]

3, 2, 1. 300ft you said what, Craig?

[C]

300, I said.

[A]

That's exactly what I said. On the dot. I. I gotta start doing the off. You can go higher or lower?

[B]

I'll go lower.

[A]

Okay. DK, what you say?

[C]

450.

[A]

Thank God Craig said higher. Yeah, it's way. It's a 729.

[C]

Yeah, it's a big ship.

[A]

It's a big ship. It's a big boat.

[C]

Big ass boat.

[B]

It's like a bonita fish.

[A]

The ESM Fitzgerald. Big.

[B]

All right, dk. Good for you. Look at double digits.

[C]

I'm back, baby.

[B]

You got a stew going.

[C]

So I'll take Michael Carter then.

[A]

Dude, that's. That's actually crushing.

[C]

I'm the only one who gets somebody usable this week.

[A]

It's actually a catastrophe. I guess I would say. Dude. So there's Jaor Crosby, Barrett for Washington or like Jal McLaughlin for the Broncos. Cause I guess RJ Harvey has a rib issue. But is he even going to miss the game?

[C]

I uncertain.

[A]

I don't love any of this, man. Who would you guys take care. I'm actually curious. For the helping of people I would take Bill Mayor. I think so too.

[C]

You're not getting in on the Texans guys. Joa Jordan, Malik Davis for the Cowboys. I feel like Woody Williams doesn't play.

[A]

It's not great.

[B]

I think Woody Marks is going to play.

[A]

Yeah. So there's Malik Davis just.

[C]

But he's been hurt like every game. It's been kind of crazy.

[A]

He does. I guess they'll go Julia McLaughlin if it seems like RJ Harvey's going to miss time with a rib injury and maybe they would because they're on an 11 game winning streak and going to think about the play playoffs. But man, it is if. If these people. If those three people we talked to at play, Corum and Tyler Elier and Michael Carter are all out. Dude, I. You could convince me Amari demado, the other running back at the Cardinals is a better option than Jal McLoughlin or Jakori Crosby. Merit. I don't want any of these Saints running backs. I don't care that Devin Neil pulled the hamstring. So the Saints are the fourth and fifth string running back splitting time.

[C]

You don't want Audre Esteve in your lineup during the fantasy playoffs.

[A]

I know, I'm like, I can't do that to myself. I can't plug in a Tex running back that no one's heard of. So I guess I'll go with Bill Merritt.

[B]

Yeah. Which means I, I, I don't know. I, I guess I'll go with Jelil McLaughlin. I guess I would say if Harvey's a little beat up, be fumbled as well. I, I don't know.

[A]

The answer is if you need to play a running back, you're screwed. And I think we would take each take seven or eight, maybe 10 receivers over the running backs we just talked about. If you can't get Michael Carter, is that fair?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So let's go to receiver.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Dk, who is your number one receiver you would add? I think this is a way larger problem and way more realistic because can I switch mine?

[B]

Can I take Brian Robinson?

[A]

Yeah, sure. That's probably smart. Sure.

[B]

I'd rather do him. He's, he's 33% rostered. He gets like eight, nine carries a game. That's probably better than anything you'll get from the Evan Hole crew we were just discussing. So if you can get nine Brian Robinson carries against the Colts indoors in week 16, maybe, you know, you get lucky. McCaffrey, he hurts his ankle.

[C]

McCaffrey had a back injury this year.

[A]

Yes. Right.

[B]

McCaffrey. I would do Brian. Nobody has him. I would get him.

[A]

Having said that, I want to go to receivers because I think this is the real problem people have this week, which is, I mean, just to go down the line. I mean, Devonte Adams pulls his hamstring. Christian Watson has an injury. We don't know what the deal is exactly, but it sounds like he probably won't be playing this week for the Packers. So I think there's a lot of players, frankly, that are good, that like playoff teams left actually do need to replace. So with that said, Dicky, who's the number one receiver you would add off waivers?

[C]

I think I'm going with Jaden Reed from the packers, who he's looked pretty good. They're working up ways to get him the ball. They're manufacturing touches for him. And I just think he's a good player. Heifetz, you, you are a big fan of him as well. I think he's just a playmaker. And if, if Christian Watson I don't think is probably going to play this week. So he's going to get more opportunities. The only like question mark with Reed is he doesn't play in two receiver sets. So he's just not on the field quite as much as, you know, Romeo Dubs and or Matthew golden and Dontavian Wicks. So again, this is the problem we have with the packers all year long. You don't really know exactly who's going to be featured in this offense. But I think the guy I trust the most out of that trio right now is probably jaden reed.

[A]

I 100% agree with Jaden Reed. He's the guy. Christian Watson's going to miss this game. I'm taking Jaden Reed. I'm not overthinking usage or anything. Jaden Reed gets schemed the ball and playing the Bears and I, I would if again with the season on the line. I want Jaden Reed.

[B]

I want Iguodala. Yeah, I agree. It's Jaden Reed.

[C]

They're playing the Bears by the way.

[B]

Which is going to be brutal. It's going to be like, I mean the Chicago last week just had I think close to the coldest game in the history of Chicago football.

[A]

Yeah. But even then, a lot of what Jan Reed does, like when the packers get to the goal line, like Jen Reed gets a lot of like sweeps and handoffs and screens. Like I, that doesn't even scare me because he gets downfield shots but they give him the ball new he get carries. He gets two or three carries a game sometimes. So I, I, I, that doesn't even scare me. It's kind of what I like about Jen Reed. They get him the ball a lot of ways. Okay, so yeah, that settles it then.

[B]

It is the J. Jaden Reed showdown time.

[A]

Are you guys sure you don't want David SS from the Falcons?

[C]

The fifth.

[A]

Yeah, the fifth. Because this question's about David ss.

[B]

The fifth, it's about David Sills.

[C]

Well, there's a chance Drake London is back this week.

[A]

Well, so this question is from Matt who Matthew. Matt wrote the question and we hadn't talked about David Sills but so Matt writes in that long before Lane Kiffin made history by offering a scholarship to seventh grade David Sills V in 2010, which we haven't talked about, but David Sills V was a quarterback and that was offered a scholarship by Link Infinity usa, which is hilarious. So anyway, a French guy named Lambert Zells moved to America and sired a son named David who later changed his Last name from Zells to Sills and began a family tradition of passing on his name to one of his sons, which led to the aforementioned seventh grade football phenom, David Sills V. Current Falcons wide receiver. What year was the original David Sills born?

[C]

Christ.

[A]

As in David Sills the first. He's David Sills V. When was David Sills the firstborn?

[C]

I like how we use the word sired.

[A]

Sired.

[C]

Is he sired a son? Very, very archaic sound sounding expression. Oh, God.

[B]

Let's do it.

[A]

3, 2, 1.

[C]

19. Probably way too far back. I said 50.

[B]

1908.

[A]

You said 1850. K. What did I say? I don't remember.

[C]

Probably like several generations too early here.

[A]

I put 1830 and I was like, I kind of wish it said like 1870.

[C]

Depends on how old these guys are when they start siring their children.

[A]

So the answer is, I guess they could be 1736.

[B]

What?

[A]

Only five generations in Sussex County, Virginia. I have tried very hard. So since I put this down, I've tried to like, find this. It looks correct. Maybe they skipped a David or so I, I, I'm a little. I kind of think that sounds totally wrong, right?

[B]

That sounds, it feels impossible.

[A]

In my head.

[B]

I was like 30 minutes for every 30 years, for every generation.

[A]

And I was like, I remember that one of those presidents has a living grandson.

[C]

Zachary Tyler.

[A]

Yes. Zach Tyler, who's the president. I mean, he was.

[C]

He had like a living son. He had his, he had a son when he was like 75 or something.

[A]

That's the thing. Zach Tyler. This is why I think it actually might be real. Zach Tyler, who was born in 1784, had a grandson that just died.

[C]

That's so wild, because they both had.

[A]

Kids when they were like 80. Yeah, like they did the, the wrong.

[C]

They were siring children well into their 80s, Craig.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

So the Sills family was just knocking women up well into their 70s and 80s, perhaps.

[A]

I think based on my limit.

[B]

Dude, that's crazy.

[C]

That's David zel.

[B]

So basically 300 years for five generations. That's sounds wrong. That's basically 60 years each generation.

[A]

Dave. You know what? I'll, I, I'll reach out for the, the record of the, the, the trivia. For the sanctity of the trivia. I will reach out and like, I'll see if I.

[C]

But isn't. Yeah, I don't know. That's weird.

[B]

Okay. All right, well then, so who gets the high? Fitz, did you win that?

[A]

Yeah, unfortunately. I feel dirty. I'll correct the record on trivia. I'll see if we get the real answer here. I tried for 20 minutes and like, that seems like it's the right family tree, but it also just feels impossible.

[C]

It doesn't matter that much. You can take it.

[A]

All right, well, I'll take Jaden Reed. I do love Jaden Reed, but there's good options. So, TK who would you take?

[C]

Oh, man. All right, so after Jaden Reed, there's a couple of options if you really want to get spicy and live dangerously. AD Mitchell for the jets has actually been getting a pretty strong target rate the last three weeks. He is just the least reliable guy I can imagine, though. So I'm probably going to go with Jalen Coker for the Panthers. Also not super reliable in that passing game, but he's a good player. He's had 10 targets total in the last two weeks. They play the Bucks this week. Craig said, I think yesterday that we always want to go to those NFC south games. So effort. I'll go with Jalen Coker. Cokeheads.

[B]

That would have been my pick.

[A]

I would have taken him second, too.

[B]

Yeah. Are we considering Luther Burden to be eligible or no?

[C]

I think so.

[B]

We all. We've been mentioning him for like eight weeks.

[C]

He's hurt.

[A]

I gotta tell you, I don't love Luther Burton with an ankle injury. We don't know a ton about it right now. It's Monday night. But I don't love Luther.

[B]

Yeah, that's fair. I mean, there's part of me that's like, I guess Cooper cup is playing the Rams. Jaden Higgins on Houston is playing the Raiders. He only had one target last week in the blowout. There's almost something about the. The Raiders are so bad that it's almost like the team is only going to get like two useful quarters. Like A.J. brown last week I was like, they're probably only going to get like two and a half quarters where they need A.J. brown and he only had two catches. Luckily, one was a touchdown.

[C]

You need a back and forth game.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So it's almost like sometimes a team can be so bad that you don't even want them. Honestly, Matthew golden has crossed my mind now that Christian Watson was out. Golden played a lot more when Watson went down, made a big catch. You know, we don't. We talk about the rookie late wide receivers, you know, catching on late in the season. If Watson's out, obviously Tucker Kraft is out. It's like Jaden Reed is playing in three downs or three wide receiver sets. Like maybe it is Golden And Romeo Dobbs. Can I throw a name out that.

[A]

I would take if I were you?

[B]

Cooper Cup.

[A]

I would take a cup for the Seahawks. And this is not supported by math. Like if you look at underlying whatever, blah, blah, blah, it's not going to necessarily suggest Cooper cup, but I would take Cooper cup for very simple reasons. The Seahawks are playing the Rams this week and the last time the Seahawks played the Rams, they did try to frankly force the ball to Cooper Cup. Cooper cup had seven targets when they played the Rams. He only had 23 yards. Sorry, I'm losing my voice. Like the God fantasy gods are trying to prevent me from telling people this. So maybe you shouldn't take this advantage advice. But the way I looked at it was it's kind of simple. They did try to force the ball to Cooper cup cause he played the Rams and teams do want to give guys their shot at revenge. And then Sam Darnold through four interceptions in that game. But I kind of do think if the Seahawks actually had gotten to the goddamn goal line on any of those drives instead of Darnold forcing touch interceptions, I do think Cooper cup was going to get the ball around the goal line. You don't know if he's going to catch the touchdown or not. Sometimes Justin Jefferson on Monday football gets the ball in his hands and he drops it. But if I'm looking like season on the line, I would rather have Cooper cup in a revenge game where they actually kind of did want to get him the ball. It's a little scary because Sam Donald's been so bad against the other two Rams games this year. Like, Sam Donald is like nine combined points at two between the playoffs and in that game. But if I'm talking about him or like a, a Luther Burden crazy special athlete with an ankle injury or like Jaden Higgins on Houston. My beloved David Sills at Atlanta. Darius Slayton. I'm like, I'm going to put Cooper cup in my lineup before I put those other guys in my lineup. But also I get if you don't want to do that.

[B]

Yeah, it's like cup. I, I hear you. I, I think that was a, that was an impassioned cup pitch. I appreciated it. I thought it was very persuasive. I, I, but I think, I think I would. I'm going to go with Jaden Higgins. Even though he had a slow week like before that. He's basically a guarantee for like 40 to 60 yards every game. He's a red zone target. They're playing the Raiders. He is like their two tight end set guy. Like he's always on the field with two and it's like they're going to be beating the Raiders. I think he'll be on the field a lot. I think I, I think I would feel a little bit better with Higgins.

[A]

How do we feel about Luther Burden if he practices limited but then plays and a Dunes is out Because I'm not gonna lie, I don't love Luther Burden. If he's a full practice all week.

[B]

I'd play, I would pick him.

[A]

But if he's limited like I, it's a little tough because the plays that Luther Burden will succeed on, they need to install him. They need to ha. Practice the plays with him probably on Thursday. Like he needs to be at the Thursday practice practicing the plays if he's going to get the ball around the goal line. Yeah, I don't love the idea of so I, I, I would keep an eye on his actual participation in practice.

[B]

The other nice thing about Jaden Higgins is he's also really tall like Nico Collins, so maybe sometimes Stroud will confuse him for Nicole Collins.

[A]

That's good, that's smart. Okay, tight ends. Dk, I think, I think we can all agree if Kyle Pitts is available. If some idiot has dropped Kyle Pitts, I can't imagine who would ever do that out of rage. Kyle Pitts is the number one guy if he's available. Breton Strange for the Jaguars, if he's available, we would take him over everyone else. Right? Is that fair, DK?

[B]

Yeah, he's like over 60%, right. He's probably ineligible, but yeah.

[A]

So assuming Kyle Pitts and Breton Stranger are not available, DK, as your number one tight end you would add on.

[C]

Waivers, I think I'm gonna go with Colby Parkinson for the Rams.

[B]

We haven't even mentioned this guy basically all year.

[C]

I think I maybe mentioned him one.

[A]

How many times can he score a touchdown a week until he's like, yeah.

[C]

Are we gonna see this actually again? Because he, he's scored six touchdowns in the last six games and he has, for what it's worth, seven, five, five, four, two and five targets over his last six games. So, like he's getting a good amount of targets, but he's really surviving basically on scoring touchdowns, which obviously makes you a little bit nervous. But at the end of the day, I mean, he's the tight end four in the last six weeks. And you want a piece of the Rams offense. They are playing the Seahawks this week, so that's a little bit scary. But if Devonte Adams doesn't play, I think that's a. It's a boost for Colby Parkinson in.

[A]

Maybe have actually allowed the third most, I think fantasy points, two tight ends this season.

[B]

That's why I started Tyler Warren's bum ass.

[C]

And yeah, man. So yeah, he's younger than Rivers. I. Parkinson's funny is kind of a revenge game for Parkinson as well. He was on the Seahawks last year or the year before. So, yeah, that's.

[A]

That's, that's how you know that's the right answer. It's like you think it's a Cooper cup revenge. It's actually the Colby Parkinson revenge game. Meanwhile, Terence Ferguson or the rookie tight end just going to end up scoring as soon as we recommend. Last year, a real thing happened. Nick Westbrook. Aine had seven consecutive weeks two years ago. Sorry, yeah, he had seven consecutive weeks with a touchdown last year with aen and we did not recommend him for a touchdown once. And then if we were like, we can't fall for this. The eighth week in a row, we were like, it. You should play him. Then he didn't score and we were like, we knew it. And then the next week he went back to scoring. That's how I feel about Colby Parkinson. It literally, whether we recommend him or not, will will decide what he does.

[B]

I can't tell what I want to do. I don't know who I would want.

[A]

I'm taking Darren Waller from the Dolphins. I have the right to reserve, to go back in time to the beginning of the show if something happens. But I want Darren Waller because they're playing the Bengals. And I have a stat for you. I've said before on this show that the Bengals have allowed the most targets, yards, catches and touchdowns and obviously fantasy points to other teams. I haven't explained how big the gap is. The gap between how many fantasy points the Bengals have allowed to tight ends and the number two team has allowed to tight ends is larger than the gap between the Bengals at number two and the 29th team in allowing points to tight ends. Like, the gap is basically larger than the entire. Almost the entire spectrum of the other 31 teams in the NFL. So the extent to which the Bengals are allowing tight ends. I know Darren Waller doesn't play that much. I know it's limited. I know the Steelers are also not awesome against tight ends. I'm just saying I would play Darren Waller against the Bengals even if he's playing like 45% of the fucking plays.

[C]

All right?

[B]

And I think I would Take Colston Loveland.

[C]

I like that.

[A]

Also so fair. If Roma Dunes is out to take.

[B]

Colson Love, they might shut Roma Dunes down for until the playoffs. And if Burden's got the ankle, Loveland's been pretty solid for like the last month. Plus I think I would probably just do him. I trust him the most.

[C]

Five plus targets and four straight games. I saw a report just now that Roma Dunes is week to week, which usually means a couple weeks at least.

[A]

There's no world we're trusting Roma Dunes a. You know what I mean? Like he literally was.

[C]

I mean he was active and then he hurt his foot. Was this a foot in warm ups or whatever? It's like, come on.

[A]

Also it's a foot injury. As a wise man, Danny Kelly has said receivers of foot injuries, I'm out.

[C]

I have said that hundreds of times.

[B]

Sounds like the Bears are saying that too. All right, so then this is the rare. None of us. Can we gut check.

[A]

Can we gut check each other right now? Season on the line. The all three of these guys are available or you have one and you got cut him, which is somehow a different thing mentally in your head. Would you cut your guy? Would you dk. Would you cut Colston Loveland to add Colby Parkinson? Because if we're being honest, that feels different than just at. At picking one of them.

[C]

I think I actually want to change my answer to Colson Loveland. I think he's ascending and he's a big part of their offense.

[B]

Yeah, I mean Devonte being out matters for the Rams a little bit to me. I mean like you have to factor that in. But I think those are both solid options. I think Loveland is less dependent on.

[A]

Scoring a touchdown 100%. If I take Darren Waller or Parkinson is purely a touchdown thing. Like they're only going to have five catches, like absolute max. I like, honestly, like Darren Waller is going to have three. And the question is what are the odds two of them are for touchdowns. I agree with that.

[B]

Okay, so we'll do Love Lanes. But if High Fitz wins, you can go. Go with your heart.

[A]

Would you guys? Yeah. Okay.

[B]

It is the Colston Loveland showdown time. I need a dub here.

[C]

Bad. Bad.

[A]

This is from Ben.

[C]

Ben. Ben.

[B]

Feed me Ben.

[A]

We got a. An unreasonably incredible legendary submission for a farter shart intro we do on Sundays. So in. In honor of that, Ben writes, how often does the average healthy man fart per day?

[B]

How many times?

[A]

Yes. According to Meridian Health.

[C]

Man, this is a good question. How is this an American man. This is an unhealthy country.

[A]

That is an important question, isn't it? I don't, I don't. Let me double check what Meridian Health here said.

[C]

Every day. Does this include at night when you're sleeping?

[B]

Good question. Is it a 24 hour span or waking hours?

[A]

My question, I wrote down two different numbers. Numbers before I then could say, this.

[C]

Is a glimpse into hypothesis.

[B]

He had a lot of time to think about this.

[A]

This is the problem is like the transparency. Sometimes it's like people use.

[B]

No, the problem is, is that Carlos should just be doing the questions.

[A]

Well, I wanted, I wanted an answer here.

[C]

Correct.

[A]

According to peer reviewed research from the National Library of Medicine. I wanted to know if it was based on a survey, a self reported survey. Like we asked men, and here's what they said, or if doctors, scientists, like studied it in a setting.

[B]

Do you think men would. Would give an inflated number or a lower number?

[C]

You think they're like, I'm not, I'm not. Disgusting?

[A]

Yeah, absolutely. Oh, yeah, Maybe not.

[B]

I feel like men might be like, I fart all the time, but maybe, yeah. Women, if you pulled them, they'd be like zero.

[C]

Women don't fart, Craig.

[A]

No, women don't.

[B]

Women don't do many things.

[A]

Crazy that women don't fart. Among other things.

[B]

Fascinating creatures.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Anyway, I went with my. I went with the number, the higher number, because I looked into it and it was like a study, like they observed, which was important to me because I. I was confident the self reporting would be low.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

So we still haven't guessed.

[A]

Well, I'm just letting you know that it was like a study.

[C]

Okay. All right.

[A]

Sorry. 3, 2, 1, 4.

[B]

120.

[C]

Oh, God.

[A]

120. I said 20.

[B]

What's the answer?

[C]

This is a glimpse into all of us.

[A]

Thirteen.

[B]

Thirteen.

[A]

I know. I kind of don't believe that.

[C]

I don't fart 40 times a day. I'm thinking of unhealthy.

[A]

I feel like the question of what's a fart.

[C]

Sure.

[B]

Also. Okay.

[C]

Hi.

[B]

Fitz definitely led us astray there by being like, I guess the higher number. All this stuff. I was like, oh, this is gonna be some ridiculous.

[C]

That was your attempt to get us to guess higher.

[B]

My first thought was 40, and then I was like, I took the higher number. I'm like, jesus, I didn't mean to do.

[A]

I just felt if it was like, hey, how many times do you think you fart a day? And like a doctor's asking you this, you'd be like eight. Like, you know what I mean? Like, no one's saying double digits if they got asked.

[C]

I probably would have guessed, like 10.

[A]

That would have been really close myself. Yeah, well, then you're. You're an average man. That's 30.

[C]

But I thought. I don't know.

[A]

Why'd you say 80?

[B]

I thought it was gonna be like 40.

[C]

Because you were like, oh, and they did studies on this. And I get you just guess the.

[B]

Higher I thought it was. You people fart 40 times in their sleep. That's what I thought. And I was like, all right, well, yeah, you know, double that or something.

[C]

I will just say it's fine. It doesn't matter. But you definitely let us.

[A]

You were leading you context ever again. Haven't that. Sorry.

[C]

Yeah, sorry.

[A]

I sought context before I gave my final guess, and I wanted to share said context with you. And I. And I. I'll never do that again.

[C]

Also, you probably shouldn't be seeking context because we don't get that.

[A]

I. What the are you talking about? I said that's the context. I said I wanted to know. Did you just ask dudes and they guessed, or did you observe them? And they observed them, and then I was like, all right, well, then I would go with that number.

[B]

Okay, so you wrote down a number, and then you. You searched for context and then you wrote a number.

[A]

I wrote down guesses based on. If this is just guys get saying I was like, single digits. No one's gonna admit to strangers that they fart more than 10 times a day. But I bet it's like. I bet they'd cut the real number in half. So I basically put was like 10 and 20.

[B]

I think I was kind of thinking about, like, what is considered a fart or something. You know, like micro farts.

[A]

Yeah, that's. That you do get into that.

[B]

The amount of. Because like, the amount of gas actually exiting your body every day for 24 hours, you know?

[C]

Or like. Yeah.

[B]

Have you ever seen those videos of, like, what a fart looks like? Like, how large the cloud is actually, and, like, how. How far it permeates. Like, there was like. There's some, like, animated video of, like, a guy on an airplane farting. And, like, you can see where the cloud spreads on an airplane. Dude, it is insane. Same with, like, a sneeze. These things really travel.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Humans are disgusting, vile creatures.

[A]

Anyway. Yeah, so that's kind of 120s. Come on. Don't put that on me. So I guess I win.

[B]

I thought There was. I thought it was going to be like, yeah, like 80 to 100. And I was like, all right, I'm going to take the high end here.

[C]

I respect it, Craig.

[B]

I know. I loves to shame people for their.

[A]

Guesses what I Shame. I don't know why you guys feel shame. These are impossible answers.

[B]

No, no. Usually, like when somebody's way off under your breath before we move on, you go, yeah, but 400. I mean, Jesus Christ.

[A]

Yeah, that's a lot.

[B]

Yeah, I know. We don't do that when you get stuff way wrong.

[A]

But it's okay. You guys don't make fun of me when I get something wrong.

[B]

Well, there's a difference in mispronouncing the name Sonny and Cher and making a guess about something they have no fucking idea.

[A]

All right, Mr. Farts, 120 times a day. Fine. All right. It's all the kombucha.

[C]

Fart guy over here.

[A]

Fart guy over here.

[B]

I mean, come on.

[A]

I.

[B]

Did we factor in sharks? Do sharks. Were those factored into the number you.

[A]

Could file, I think, a claim on that?

[B]

Yeah. I mean, what people shark what, 100 times a day so that maybe the 120.

[A]

Well, they're lying. It's probably 40, 40 a week.

[C]

Hold on. I have a question. Speaking of farter Shart, did we find out who made that song and if it was AI from. From yesterday's show?

[A]

No. We can talk about that on Power Hour or Friday. Well, I'll. Or Sunday. I'll look into it. I'll go back and forth here. Okay, so I guess so I should take Waller or Loveland. I, I. Loveland's probably the smarter answer.

[C]

Take Waller, if there's any.

[A]

I'm taking Waller. I've been talking about the world. I'm taking Darren Waller also. It's the. This is maybe stupid and I'm overthinking it, but, man, that game is in Miami and the other game is in Chicago. And I, I don't know what the weather will be in six days in Chicago, but I, I just kind of want to turn on my TV and not fucking see whatever the hell is going on with the wind or the rain or the snow in Chicago. I kind of want to just need Darren Waller to throw a touchdown. And again, maybe this is all moot and we'll cut.

[C]

Forecast is actually pretty balmy for Chicago on Sunday. 30 degrees or are they playing on Saturday?

[B]

Oh, Saturday.

[C]

They're playing on Saturday. It's 41 degrees in Chicago on Saturday.

[A]

It's balmy wind miles an hour. Give me my.

[C]

Oh, Christ.

[A]

I want my.

[B]

Speaking of which, the game tonight, which we're going to talk about at the top of the show. The Dolphins have lost 13 straight games in sub 40 degree temperatures. We'll see.

[C]

Yeah, okay. I'm taking Colson Levand anyway. Who do you want.

[A]

All that, Craig? You get Colby Parkinson or you want someone else?

[B]

I'll take Colby. That's wonderful.

[A]

All right.

[B]

I'm delighted that he felt to me despite my stupid answer.

[C]

It wasn't stupid, Craig. There's no stupid answers.

[B]

No, it's okay. It's all right. Shame is good.

[C]

This country needs a lot more shame, let's be honest. Yeah, hi, it's Eva Longoria and let's.

[A]

Be real, after 40, we should ask.

[C]

For more from our skincare.

[A]

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[C]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

It's time to go shopping at Nordstrom. All right, quarterback if you need. Quarterback. Obviously, if Trevor Lawrence is available, you don't need me to tell you that. Trevor Lawrence. I will say Jacoby Brissette if he's available. Probably not, but if he is. Atlanta. The Cardinals are playing Atlanta. That's another game. It's like, man, you look at all these other snow cold games and you're like, man percent of he's there. Hate to say it, but J.J. mcCarthy versus the Giants. The Giants D is brutal, man. And I hate to say it, but McCarthy is more decisive and he's gonna run.

[C]

And nine.

[A]

Nine is probably gonna. God, I, I gotta tell you, I, I sometimes you just look at the standings and I'm like, man, these teams suck. And then the Giants are lower than them and I'm like, oh my God, like that's.

[C]

Your time is coming, Heifetz.

[A]

So embarrassing. The Washington is twice as many wins as we do. But Would you guys take J.J. mcCarthy versus the Giants if you had to win this week? Or Marcus Mariota and Washington versus the Eagles? I kind of thought McCarthy versus the Giants. Actually I'm taking McCarthy.

[C]

McCarthy 100 too.

[A]

Yeah, I think so too. I, I hate to say it, but Mariota, Mariota. But yeah, I think Those are the four. Lawrence, who's available? Brissette, McCarthy, Mariota. I would hope that one of those guys is available. Defenses. A lot of strange, strange bedfellows this week. But if you need the night, I think the Niners versus Phil Rivers. Maybe this is a bad pick. I want to run it by you because Rivers is not going to take sacks other than when he just trips and falls. Cause he's getting rid of the ball so fast. But part of me thinks there's tape on them now. They're gonna like. I don't think they're gonna be able to adjust tape on him. Tape on him, you know. Oh, no, no. We thought he'd be able to throw 20 yards. It's like 16. You know. I honestly, I think the main thing is the passes go slower than you think. And I think they're going to try to break everything.

[C]

I don't know. I mean he was whipping that thing.

[B]

Seattle sacked him once. No, the one pick at the end. The sad only had four fantasy points.

[A]

That's why I wanted to ask is should this be the number one defense or is it not even streamable?

[C]

I don't.

[A]

Because I feel like it's going to be a bunch of three and outs.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. I gotta run the ball and throw screens.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I feel like the Vikings defense versus Jackson dart, we actually might end up raking higher. Yeah.

[B]

There's more, more volatility.

[A]

Yeah. Like the, the odds that they confuse the shit at a dart and get multiple. I mean I can already see Andrew Van Ginkel picking off Jackson dart for a pick six on a screen to Wanda Robinson right now.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The Chief's defense versus Cam Ward. I have had written down for this episode for weeks. And now my home story is acl. And it's kind of weird cause they're eliminated from the playoffs. But it is the Chiefs defense versus Cam Ward. I believe. I believe Cam Ward still has taken the most sacks of any quarterback this season. Is it. I mean, I don't think it matters that much. They got eliminated from the playoffs. Right. They're tight. They're going to take their anger out on the Titans.

[B]

Yeah. I don't know if there's something about like the Dejected team.

[A]

I know it feels weird. The say also, if you have that and you're watching the Chiefs, you're going to watch this first game without Mahomes in, like, years. The other ones, though, like the Saints defense, they're playing the jets and Brady Cook at quarterback, which is one of them. Like, again, I don't know if I want to. I'd rather go down with the Chiefs defense than the Saints defense. Also, I kind of was wondering about The Titans defense vs Gardner Minshew and the Chiefs. I don't know if I have the chutzpah to do that. So I guess the other one is, honestly, I also want to ask you guys about the Bills defense versus the Browns, which is a little scary because the Browns can run the ball and the Bills can't stop the run. But I kind of. I don't know, man. Shador Sanders and the Browns versus the Bills. Yeah, you're seasons on the line. I feel like I'm still doing the Chiefs versus the Titans and then the Vikings versus the Giants and the Niners versus the Colts, and then I would do the Bills versus the Browns, probably in that order.

[B]

Am I nuts that I think I would start the Saints playing Brady Cook? Brady Cook has five interceptions in his first two starts.

[A]

Kind of like that's.

[B]

He's on the road. I feel like I would. I would gladly, if I go down. Because Brady Cook lights up the Saints.

[C]

I don't know the right process.

[A]

Yeah, there's options. And also the Saints just held Bryce.

[B]

Young and The Panthers to 17.

[A]

I don't know. Yeah, I. That's totally cool, too. Yeah, you put them right up there. Okay. Those waivers.

[B]

I want to cut in here. I texted my friend Chris, my. The best man of my wedding, asking you about Farts. Yeah. Cause he's a gassy guy. And I thought about him during this question. I was like, chris farts gassy all the time. And I did say a caveat. I said, on a bad day, how many times would you say you fart in 24 hours, including sleep?

[C]

So it's like you just. You went out last night, you drank about 18 beers, 6,000. You had four. Four hot dogs.

[B]

Yeah. He said, on a bad day, question mark, question mark. And he said, and I've had those days, believe me. He said, I have no idea how much I farted my sleep, but I'm going to say 75 plus. And that might be conservative.

[C]

The more I think about it, the more I think Craig actually got.

[B]

I mean, 120 is too high, but it's probably like 50 to 70 or something. Yeah, people fart a lot, man.

[C]

In 24 hours. That's doable.

[B]

So rookie numbers also, like, do you fart more in your sleep than when you're awake? I would imagine, yes.

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

Did I read the hell it said? Average healthy man? Did I write. Did I read that part 7.

[C]

70 farts over 24 hours is only 3. 3 an hour depends on what you eat says yes.

[B]

You likely fart more in your sleep because your anal sphincter muscles relax.

[C]

This is a new low for us.

[B]

Is it? No, it's.

[A]

Dude, we talked. We. Last year we read the. The emails from anonymous. People eat their boogers to try.

[C]

That was worse. That actually, that was crazy.

[B]

We had like dozens of emails.

[A]

That was actually, like, vulnerable people actually were like, I've never told anyone this. And we like redacted everyone's names. But then other people were like, hey, I like your show. But. But my wife, like, threw up in the car.

[C]

I was like, actually nauseous during that.

[B]

Yeah, that's probably the most vulnerable people have ever been.

[C]

Right.

[B]

I mean, we talked about the stand in white people.

[A]

No, this is another.

[B]

Who are also aliens.

[A]

The burger eating is another level. Yeah.

[B]

Booger eating is adults.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Is there any other gross thing we could ask people if they do?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

I mean, yeah, but like, I'll make a list. It's a. It's a. You know, it's a third rail. We should probably.

[C]

Craig asked that one. What are the kids on?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And by kids, we mean grown people.

[B]

Yeah. Consenting adults who are younger.

[A]

But.

[C]

But legal. Is that like, what drugs are they on? Is that what.

[B]

No, we were literally talking about places.

[A]

Where do kids go to? Like, where are they equivalent?

[B]

I thought there was something about, like having sex on.

[C]

On.

[B]

Like it was like covered with something or.

[A]

Well, no, it was talking about, you know, like the whole thing of the third place. You know, it's like, you want to go some. It's not work or home. And like, I feel like in the 60s or 70s or 80s, you watch movies and there's like places people go and we're like, where? The.

[C]

The drive in movie theater.

[A]

Yeah. It's like, where do you go to hook up now?

[C]

It's like on the bench seats.

[A]

There's no public places where the. Do you go to park like a crazy person.

[C]

It's a good question. That's that I want to know.

[A]

Well, that's what his question was. Yeah, we gotta go to Abandoned carnival and get arrested. Like, what the are you gonna do?

[C]

Abandoned carnival. That sounds.

[A]

That was one of the emails we got.

[C]

Cabinet. One of those.

[A]

Well, that was one of the answers.

[C]

Not in a good way.

[B]

It sounds like a Stranger Things plot.

[C]

Seriously, it does.

[A]

Yeah. Those people gonna get murdered. Okay, tetanus emails. I have one email I wanted to read to you guys. That was a trivia question that I decided with love to this person. If I read you guys this, I was gonna get, like, a re. Like, you guys were gonna kill me because it's one of them, like, science ones that's impossible to answer, but great. And I don't. I'll let you guys do the thing if you want, but I mostly read the answer, and I was so blown away by the actual answer that I was like, we should just talk about this. Okay, So I assume you don't want to do the whole guessing thing. Actually, no, I kind of want to make it.

[C]

Might as well. Might as well.

[A]

So anyway, it's shout out to Kolya or. No, sorry, It's Kolya with a K. With a yes. And they included the K. Bone.

[B]

Kolya.

[A]

So breakfast sausage, egg and cheese on an everything bagel.

[B]

Bagel man.

[A]

Eggs over medium. That's the. Right. That's my preferred Bacon, egg, and cheese order is the eggs over medium.

[B]

Little runny. Little run.

[A]

Yeah, little run. Add hot sauce, large coffee to coke, Long island bake. Bagel is what Kalya said.

[C]

Coffee and a Coke. All right.

[A]

That's a good. That is a lot of getting started.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So there's a long explanation here, but I guess there's obviously the Large Hadron Collider in. I forget Sweden. Switzerland. Switzerland. Forget where. Where they shoot the particles at each other and try to recreate the Big Bang or whatever and maybe create a small black hole. Anyway, apparently there's a gold version of one that we've been doing in Long island for, like, 25 years, where it's like, like three and a half kilometers long or something, and they've been shooting gold particles at each other for, like, 25 years. They accomplished the highest ever temperature recorded in a lab setting in 2004, and they couldn't calculate the fucking number until 2010. It took them six years to calculate the goddamn number of how hot this fucking collision was.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Which was, like. You caught my attention. The answer was 4 trillion degrees. I. I kind of wanted to talk to you guys about that. About 4 trillion degrees being accomplished. And even on a time like that just feels with Love to these people who put six years into this. They're wrong. Right?

[C]

Well, no one can check your math on that.

[A]

No, I'm not going to.

[C]

What am I going to tell you? That you're not correct.

[B]

We plug that into chat GPT. We'll have that solved in a couple seconds.

[A]

Yeah, I don't know. I just kind of wanted to talk to you guys about the idea that even for like a millisecond, there was something that was 4 trillion degrees.

[C]

I just don't have any concept of, like, what that means, you know, can't.

[B]

That's impossible. How hot is the sun?

[A]

Someone said 27 million.

[B]

27 million. And this is 4 trillion.

[A]

That's what they said.

[C]

And they did that on Earth without killing everyone.

[A]

Crazy. They got it that wrong. After six years, 250,000 times hotter than the center of the sun.

[C]

Whenever I. Whenever I hear about these kind of things, I always think, did you guys ever watch the show Chernobyl?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Really great. Really great series, obviously, which is Chernobyl, nuclear meltdown. And in Soviet Union, everyone makes that face.

[A]

That face Craig just made. Everyone's like, you should watch Chernobyl. And then they're like, oh, it's haunted by it.

[C]

I'm like, you know, it's really, really.

[B]

Well, the pilot, I know it's fantastic, but there, I. I can't get. There's an image burned into my brain of the. Of one of the guys who is, like, basically scabbed over completely. And it is, like, the grossest thing I've ever seen.

[A]

I just never found the time where, like, I'm not. I know it's incredible, and it's one of the best things ever made. I just never found the time where I'm like, you know what? I'm gonna sit down and watch with my time. Sure. No, I just was like, I never, like, you know what? I want to think about this right now. It just never got there.

[C]

I think that's fair. I think everybody can choose what they want to consume. I. I will say it's, like, legitimately one of my favorite movies or shows of all time. Like, it's, like, incredibly well done. I'll watch. I'll watch it. It's like. And also, I was reading all these articles about it. It's incredibly, incredibly accurate in terms of what. What it was like in the Soviet Union at the time. According to, like, what I was reading was like, Soviet people that lived in that era, they were like, oh, my God. Like, the sets are incredibly accurate. Everything they're talking about is incredibly accurate. The, you know, just the finite details of the show is like a really well done period piece. But it's also just an insane thing that happened on the Earth. Like it's literally never happened on earth before that. And it was like they were trying to figure out how to fucking fix it.

[B]

There is still. You can't. You still can't get near it. There's still radiation coming from it.

[A]

It.

[C]

There's all these. I learned most crazy animal bounce back in. In the. In the exclusion zone and all this stuff.

[B]

It's.

[C]

It's crazy.

[A]

The. One of the. Honestly, a seminal rite of passage for people Craig and I age. I don't think Craig played Call of Duty 4, but there was a mission in Call of Duty 4 where you had to, like, wear a ghillie suit and go through Chernobyl and avoid all the radioactive things and, like, assassinate some guy in Chernobyl. It was, you know, where I learned like, 80% of that story.

[C]

Yeah. Anyway, it's a crazy story. So I think about that when I think of the Large Hadron Collider and hopefully these people don't fuck it up.

[A]

I think I. Yeah, it's funny.

[C]

It's like the Oppenheimer thing. It's like small chance, a non zero chance. We ignite the atmosphere and destroy everything.

[B]

It's just funny how many things happen because you're afraid to speak up to your boss. I mean, the whole.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, like that's the entire season. The rehearsal this most recent season, it was about plane crash. This is basically like the number two pilot is afraid to speak up to the differential, to the captain.

[C]

Right. Yeah. Cool. That makes me feel great.

[A]

Yeah. Hates that we do the Florida shirt with the fart noises and Craig's just too afraid to. To tell us, you know?

[B]

Yeah, it's true. It's true. I hope I didn't. I hope Chris isn't upset.

[A]

I know.

[C]

I was gonna ask. Did you give him.

[A]

Did you tell him you were gonna read that on a show, a heads.

[C]

Up that you were on the show?

[B]

No, I didn't. I hope he's all right.

[C]

What's his last name again?

[B]

What's his address? His name is Chris Heifetz.

[A]

We're gonna get emails from doctors being like, your friend Chris needs to go to the emergency.

[C]

You could. We can bleep his name out.

[B]

He eats a lot of fiber, a lot of proteins.

[C]

Just, you know, just bleep his name out with like a fart noise.

[A]

I actually think you know what?

[B]

I realized we should do that.

[A]

The fact that there's these studies means that they actually had to come up with a scientific definition of what is and is not a fart.

[B]

Right. And we should find that it's the OG Farter shart.

[A]

The OG Farter shart. They actually had to, like, study that and measure it.

[C]

They have Latin names for it. So a fart and a shark.

[A]

All right, Anything else you guys want to get out of here?

[C]

Sphincter eruptus.

[B]

I just looked up a Latin fart. In Latin is crepitu.

[C]

Good to know. Crepitu. Yeah, with C, R, A, P. C.

[A]

R, E, P. Is this crap NP in there?

[B]

C, R, E, P, I, T, U.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

So do with that what you will.

[A]

Well, thank you, D.K. thank you, Craig. Thank you to Latin.

[B]

Oh, wait, now, wait. That was Gemini. But now there's another thing saying. Learn the Latin flatus.

[C]

Oh, yeah, Flatulence.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

The root derivative of flatulence.

[B]

Right? From the Latin flatus.

[C]

Quite a flatulent man.

[B]

Oh, interesting. In classical Latin, flatus refers to the expulsion of wind without sound, while crepitu refers to the explo. Expulsion of wind with noise.

[A]

So they had different words.

[B]

So that is literally fart or shart pretty much is what that is. It's flatus or crepitus.

[C]

It's fart versus sbd.

[A]

Right.

[C]

Does that mean silent but deadly?

[A]

No, that one. Thanks. I. That's how they missed. That's how they undercounted all the farts. They just missed 60. Silent listening. Yeah.

[B]

You think there's too much fart talk.

[C]

On this show or. No, about. Right.

[A]

We're. We're flirting with. We probably stepped over the lineup today.

[B]

We're flirting.

[C]

Flying too close to sun here.

[B]

We're farting.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. All right. Thank you, Craig. Thank you, D.K. thank you to everyone who made it through that man. Sorry. Thanks to. Are we going to say your friend's name? Are we going to bleep it?

[C]

We're bleeping fart noise it.

[A]

Thanks to bleep redacted Craig's friend Fart noise it. Thank you to Carlos. Thank you, Kai. Thank you, Ronick. Thank you, Ryan. Thank you, Austin. Thank you, everyone, for listening. Yeah, thanks to everyone who made it through all the farts. Thank you, Lord.

[B]

Lord.

[C]

Thank you, Jennifer Lopez.

[B]

Okay, Jenny on the block.

[C]

J.

[A]

Lo.

[C]

Jenny from the block.

[B]

Jenny. Jenny from the block. Excuse me.

[A]

That's crazy.

[C]

What's the latest on JLO and Affleck? Are they divorced?

[B]

They are.

[A]

I actually just saw an Instagram post of them, like, picking up their kid from some recital. I'm speaking of things.

[C]

Do they have a kiss?

[B]

No, I think you're thinking of Jennifer Gardner, right?

[A]

Oh, well, she was. It was. Dude, I'm gonna. There's an Instagram account that I'm not gonna.

[B]

I.

[A]

No, I can't pronounce it.

[B]

Yeah, dk. They have. They are divorced again.

[C]

Twice divorced.

[A]

Which they were at their. His son's recital. But wait, so why was she there? She doesn't have the kid.

[B]

Are you saying Jennifer Lopez or Jennifer Gardner?

[A]

Jennifer Lopez was there talking to Ben's son. Maybe she's.

[C]

I don't know. Maybe they are friends with the family. Huh. Maybe they're just. I don't know why that is.

[B]

I'm confused there.

[A]

I just. Well, actually, that makes more sense now because the cat said Ben's son.

[B]

Son.

[A]

But now I realize that's because it's not her son. Right.

[C]

I just love all the memes of Ben Affleck. It's like the greatest thing, smoking the.

[A]

Cigarette with the dragon on his back.

[C]

Like, staring at the ocean. So many good ones.

[B]

I like the ones where it's smoking a cigarette. I like the ones where it's. It's him come out in the morning to pick up the doordash.

[A]

Duncan, that was someone who worked here. Someone's slack avatar was that. Which was so good.

[C]

It's just so relatable.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

There's one video of Jenna. It's also so brutal. It's like, these are people's lives. Like, the fact that this is always caught on camera is horrible. But there's one. But anyway, there's. There's one video and it's great, having said that, of JLO getting into the car and he goes. He kind of like shuts the door just a little too hard and then kind of walks around to get into his side of the car. He just slams it just a little too hard.

[C]

We've all been there, you know, he took the. He. I think Craig, you pointed this out. He, like, took his time walking around the car.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

It's like, I'm going to take my time.

[B]

Brief moment of peace.

[C]

Anyway, I'm. I'm hope. Hopefully they're.

[A]

They're happier now.

[B]

Yeah, hopefully.

[C]

I don't know. High fits. Come on, give me a good segue. What do we got?

[A]

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