Rules to Win Your Fantasy League (Part 1)

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Ringer Fantasy Football Show – "Rules to Win Your Fantasy League (Part 1)"

Episode Information:

• Title: Rules to Win Your Fantasy League (Part 1)
• Release Date: August 13, 2025
• Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, Craig Horlbeck

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Introduction: Learning from Last Season

In the opening segment, Danny Heifetz sets the stage by drawing inspiration from the movie Memento. He explains that each offseason, the hosts compile a list of lessons learned from the previous fantasy football season, akin to tattooing these insights on their bodies to prevent forgetting them due to “training camp amnesia.”

[00:00] Danny Heifetz: “Every year at the end of each season we have all these lessons we learned...”

Danny Kelly emphasizes the importance of resisting the yearly forgetfulness that often leads to repeating mistakes, highlighting the necessity of applying postseason clarity to improve for the upcoming season.

[00:47] Danny Kelly: “Life is nothing if you don't learn from your mistakes...”

Key Lessons for the 2025 Season

1. Draft Elite Players on Elite Teams

Mina Kimes introduces the first tattooed lesson: “Don't overthink this.” She criticizes the team’s tendency to overanalyze player performances and team dynamics, leading to missed opportunities in drafts.

[05:04] Mina Kimes: “We overanalyze everything. We think about it too much and miss the forest for the trees.”

Danny Kelly concurs, advocating for drafting the best players from the best teams without getting bogged down by potential negatives.

[06:45] Danny Kelly: “Generally, I think this is probably the best rule: just the players who are good, who have always been good, who are on good teams.”

They cite examples like Saquon Barkley and Ja’Marr Chase, who might have been undervalued due to overanalysis but remain top picks due to their consistent performance and strong team environments.

[06:36] Danny Kelly: “Saquon’s available at the fourth pick. Great. Click.”

2. Take Players You Like Who Spark Joy

Craig Horlbeck shares his tattoo: “I love my mom,” spinning it into a metaphor for choosing players you genuinely enjoy watching.

[12:34] Danny Kelly: “It’s like, order the item you want rather than a different item just because it’s half off.”

He emphasizes selecting players that bring personal satisfaction and happiness, rather than purely statistical value, to enhance the fantasy experience.

[21:00] Danny Heifetz: “It's about picking players that make you happy.”

Danny Kelly adds that this approach not only makes the season more enjoyable but also can lead to better performance, as you're more invested in the outcomes tied to players you care about.

3. Avoid Toxic Players and Places

Mina Kimes presents a crucial lesson: steering clear of players and teams that consistently underperform or bring frustration.

[36:15] Mina Kimes: “Who are the players that are landmines for you this year in terms of do not spark joy?”

They discuss notorious examples like Garrett Wilson and teams like the Chicago Jets, advising listeners to avoid drafting such players to minimize potential setbacks.

[37:26] Danny Kelly: “They’re gonna suck. They’re gonna suck. They’re gonna suck.”

Strategic Draft Tips

Creating and Using Tiers

Mina Kimes recommends using tiered rankings to identify the best value at each draft position, ensuring that you maximize the potential of each pick without overcommitting to undervalued players.

[66:43] Mina Kimes: “Using tiers when you’re drafting is a really, really good way to do it...”

Danny Heifetz agrees, adding that having a clear plan and understanding the flow of the draft can prevent hasty or emotional decisions.

[67:23] Danny Heifetz: “Have a plan. Figure out your ranks and stay disciplined.”

Mock Drafts and Preparation

Danny Kelly underscores the importance of conducting mock drafts to familiarize oneself with potential scenarios and refine strategies, enhancing confidence and adaptability during the actual draft.

[69:49] Danny Heifetz: “Bring smelling salts to the mock drafts.”

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Danny Heifetz: “My birthday was on Saturday. Last Saturday. And happy birthday, my beloved best friend, Chris Barlow...” [08:26]

• Mina Kimes: “If you want the fish, I want a quesadilla every day.” [13:13]

• Danny Kelly: “Don't draft Cleveland Browns or you'll get the Browns.” [09:15]

• Danny Heifetz: “Marie Kondo was right.” [19:25]

• Mina Kimes: “Someone’s trying to convince you to do this, that.” [13:04]

Conclusion: Embracing Lessons for Success

As the episode wraps up, the hosts reinforce the importance of integrating these lessons into their strategies for the 2025 fantasy football season. They tease that the next part of the series will delve deeper into additional rules and strategies, promising more actionable insights to help listeners secure their fantasy leagues.

Danny Heifetz: “This is what it’s really about. Craig, your next tattoo here...” [43:18]

The conversation highlights a blend of strategic advice and personal anecdotes, emphasizing the balance between analytical preparation and personal enjoyment in fantasy football.

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Final Thoughts: This episode serves as a foundational guide for fantasy football enthusiasts aiming to refine their draft strategies and avoid common pitfalls. By focusing on elite players, personal enjoyment, and steering clear of problematic teams, listeners are provided with actionable rules to enhance their chances of winning their fantasy leagues in the upcoming season.

Transcript

[Danny Heifetz]

Foreign welcome to Ringer Fantasy Football Show. My name is Danny Hartman, joined by Danny Kelly of Craig Rollbecker. Today we are looking at what we Learned from the 2024 season and how we should apply it to the 2025 season aka our memento tattoos. Every year at the end of each season we have all these lessons we learned, these things we do differently. Reg 2020 hindsight vision of how we should have approached a given situation. You can call it postseason clarity if you will. And then by the next season we completely forget everything we learned and we make all the same mistakes all over again.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, life is nothing if you don't learn from your mistakes. And this is us reckoning with those mistakes. It's us trying to to resist the training camp amnesia that hits you every single year. When you start to see reports. Oh, Sean Payton actually has a very clear wide receiver depth chart. I believe this, that makes sense. Oh Shanahan's injury reports. I believe those people seem healthy. Christian McCaffrey would play tomorrow if there were a playoff game. So this, this episode is about reckoning with the way we felt in January last year right after the season ended, all those raw emotions and now applying them to this year and seeing how we feel.

[Danny Heifetz]

All right, we're going to get into all our amnesiac reminders tattooed all over our body. But first, quick break. This episode of the Ringer Fantasy Football show is presented by Hyundai. Get into the Hyundai Getaway sales event and get away with a deal. So right it almost feels wrong. You can get huge savings on their adventure ready SUV's like the Hyundai Santa Fe and Santa Fe Hybrid models. Or go all electric and choose from America's most awarded EV lineup like the Breakthrough Ioniq 5 or Ioniq 6. Visit HyundaiUSA.com or call 562-314-4603 for details. Offers end September 2, 2025 this episode.

[Craig Horlbeck]

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[Danny Heifetz]

To the lessons for next season. Again, this was inspired by the movie Memento where the guy has amnesia and all the tattoos are tattoo. He can't remember anything about who killed his wife, so every clue he learns, he tattoos on his body.

[Danny Kelly]

DK still hasn't seen them, still haven't.

[Danny Heifetz]

Watched it, which is not really necessary for this. Also, if you watched it and forgot, that also works. It doesn't really matter. You don't really have to know anything.

[Mina Kimes]

I understand the concept.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah. The concept is I. I never listened to anything I've ever said to myself.

[Danny Kelly]

Do you remember that we did one episode where we actually recorded the episode in reverse and we. And we ran it in reverse where we started with thanking Lauren. I don't know if that worked, but I. I respected our attempt.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, we tried confusing. It was I. It sounded like a good idea when we talked about it. And then we made it and that it was hit or bestseller concept.

[Danny Kelly]

Right. The show ended with Hivett saying, welcome to the Ring. And then the music played. We tried, maybe.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, we tried. I don't know if we got lazy, got smarter. The only other thing for before we dive in. So we're recording this on Friday, August 8th. Craig is going on vacation next week. But you're listening to it now. Where are you going, Craig? Vancouver, Canada.

[Danny Kelly]

I'm going to Canada. Vancouver and Whistler.

[Danny Heifetz]

There you go. That'll be fun. So any crazy news that really changes these conversations? If we don't address it, it's because we recorded this Friday, August 8th. But, yeah, you guys are probably listening to this. DK and I had been a Kimes on Monday to replace Craig. So we'll see if Craig earns his job back by the time he comes.

[Danny Kelly]

Back the following week. So it's a tough beat. That's a tough act to follow. Mina Kimes.

[Danny Heifetz]

But. So let's just get into it. And I want to start. And again, these are things that we actually recorded an episode at the end of last season. It was like, what do we want to tell ourselves next August? And we pulled up the list, and we're each going to go through and look at the things we wrote down, and we're all going to decide, do I still believe this? And how do I apply this lesson to next year? Do I choose to take my own advice or not?

[Mina Kimes]

How do I make money off of this?

[Danny Heifetz]

And how do I make money off this?

[Danny Kelly]

You know, Billy Madison, the scene when Adam Sandler's shaking the fat kid's face and he's like, that's. That's me to myself. That's January me talking To August me as you can.

[Danny Heifetz]

Don't take Kyle Bits.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, that's January me talking to August me.

[Danny Heifetz]

All right, I want to start off with dk. Yeah, dk, number one lesson from last season.

[Danny Kelly]

And please, please tell us where this tattoo is.

[Mina Kimes]

This is like the. You know, the Tupac Thug life tattoo on his stomach. This is. Don't overthink this. Basically, I feel like every year, and we do this more than, you know, anybody, basically, we overanalyze everything. We think about it too much.

[Danny Kelly]

We do 50 episodes.

[Mina Kimes]

We have to talk about this shit for, like, three months before we make our drafts. And then we completely overanalyze it. Miss the force for the trees. Take great players and great offenses. So last year, the obvious.

[Danny Kelly]

We're in the fucking hot dog suit. We're like, why? Who's overanalyzing all these players? And news.

[Mina Kimes]

We're all trying to find who did this.

[Danny Kelly]

DK's like, just show up on draft day and pick the best players on the best teams.

[Mina Kimes]

So last year, some very obvious lessons or some very obvious examples of this lesson. Saquon Barkley. We were talking about him not getting enough passing game work, and we forgot that he's one of the most explosive running backs we've ever seen in our life. And he's playing behind the best offensive line in the NFL and a really good offense. Jamar Chase is another example. I think he could make Derek Henry. Oh, he's 30 years old. He's starting to decline. He's not going to be much in the passing game. Yeah, he's in an awesome offense where they block for him and he can get going, and he's going to rack up 2,000 yards and 20 touchdowns. So I think we have this analysis paralysis where we think of reasons to not take great players. I think you can do this even in the middle and late rounds, where you're just, like, avoiding guys for really dumb reasons. Fight like you want pieces of the best offenses is kind of like the bottom line here. Last year, that was obviously the Ravens, the. The Eagles, the Bengals. The Bengals was a classic example of overthinking it. I feel like, sorry, High Fitz, what's who. But there's just like, find the guy who did this.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, that wasn't me. You're the wrong man.

[Mina Kimes]

So, yeah, that's. I think that's the bottom line. That's the rule. And let's talk about it means for.

[Danny Kelly]

20, 25 now, I generally think this is probably the best ruling fan. It's just like, just the players who are good, who have always been good, who are on good teams. Saquon Barclay and the Eagles is a great example. I think you can apply this to elite wide receivers this year. A lot of receivers got hurt last year. A lot of elite wide receivers got hurt last year. A lot of running backs were healthy. I would say don't allow one blip to influence the way you think about elite wide receivers, which is typically the safest bet you can make in fantasy. Guys like Justin Jefferson, Nico Collins got hurt last year. Don't let that influence anything. And even buy low on other elite wide receivers that had bad situations. Guys like Devonte Adams, Mike Evans is another one who got hurt. Tyree Kill who I've been banging the drum for all of these elite players. Devonte Adams, now on a good team, in a good situation. Don't overthink that stuff.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, I think this, Yeah, I think this is totally right.

[Mina Kimes]

The other example here, I guess this is sort of like the inverse of what you do not want to do is you draft your team. You're looking at your roster after the draft and it's like, oh God, I'm really betting on the Browns, the Steelers, the Colts, okay? And whoever. You know what, I'm sorry, Craig. Not, not. Steelers are fine. Steelers are fine. And basically you look down your roster, it's like, oh God, I am betting on all these really bad offenses to win me my lead.

[Danny Kelly]

Miserable. Miserable.

[Mina Kimes]

You know what I mean? So, like, think, have it in mind. Think about the teams you're betting on, like the systems, the overall environments that you're betting on. Those are the ones that are going to win you league. So I think obviously you can take one or two guys, you know, you can't take all elite players from all. From elite teams obviously throughout your whole draft. So there's, there's obviously exceptions to this. But I don't know, I. I just think early on this is what you want to focus on.

[Danny Kelly]

My. My birthday was on Saturday. Last Saturday. And happy birthday, my beloved best friend, Chris Barlow, the best man in my wedding. Great guy. You guys have met him. Funniest guy I know. We were all ubering home at night. Everybody had been drinking and he and his. Our other friend Alex decided to. They wanted to get in and out, but it was. The line was too long. So instead they went to a random Shack burger joint and he got a barbecue bacon cheeseburger and then got food poisoning that night. And the lesson honestly applies to what DK is talking about. Yeah, only eat at the good restaurants, you know.

[Mina Kimes]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

You don't.

[Danny Kelly]

You won't have to worry. Don't go to the random burger shack at 1am no one's in.

[Mina Kimes]

Yeah. Think about what you're putting into your body.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, well, I mean, don't.

[Danny Kelly]

Don't draft Cleveland Browns or you'll get the Browns.

[Danny Heifetz]

Can I. Can I have one quibble with that story? How much did you guys drink?

[Danny Kelly]

He didn't. What do you. What do you mean?

[Mina Kimes]

At least.

[Danny Heifetz]

It's like a classic. Like, I did seven shots and 31 years old. And I'm gonna blame the cheeseburger because.

[Danny Kelly]

No, no, no, no, no. He was not. He was fine. That man has had a lot of alcohol for long enough where there's. That did not cause him to have food.

[Danny Heifetz]

All right, good. Just checking. I think it's a great rule. I think that, like, when I read this, reread this rule, as I was going over the list, I thought to myself how a lot of smart people. Also me. But like, that's not related to the smart people. But a lot of people have Bijan Robinson, the Falcons running back, as the number one guy. Evan Silva established the run. Really smart guy. Has. Jameer Gabis is the number one guy. So just been gretched. Like a lot of people have Bijan 1. John Hansen has Bijan 1. You know, a lot of people have Saquon 3 for all @ running back because of all the risk of injury. Of injuries after saquon got almost 500 touches. And I have to tell you guys, I read this rule DK saying draft elite players and elite offenses. And I'm like, you know what? The dumbest person you know is going to walk into your fantasy football draft having done zero preparation.

[Danny Kelly]

Wow. Saquon's available at the fourth pick. Great. Click.

[Danny Heifetz]

That's weird. And that guy's gonna win your league.

[Danny Kelly]

It's almost. It's just a mini version of what we like overthinking Saquon this year and dropping him from like first to third or fourth is just a smaller version of what we did last year.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah. Yes. You know, a hundred percent. We're like, well, what if he gets hurt? And then meanwhile, he just isn't going to get hurt. And then he's just going to another. He's got 2100. He's 2100 yards this year. Yeah. So.

[Mina Kimes]

So I think just to stick on this a little bit more this year, the rule is a little bit murky. You know what I mean? Obviously, we never really know what teams are going to be elite going into the NFL season. I think you can kind of guess most of the time if a team has a lot of continuity. But some of the all time great teams to stack last year, the all time great offenses that you really wanted last year, like the Lions, the Vikings were awesome last year and they were really valuable. In fantasy, you can go down the line. There's quite a few teams that, like, we're not quite sure what to make of them. The 49ers. I think the 49ers are probably going to be really good, but that's not. Not a guarantee. But I mean, like you look at the Lions new offensive coordinator, some. Some changes on the offensive line. What are the vibes going to be like there? What is the play. Play calling going to be like there? Don't really know. And then, you know, just down the line. I think it's a little bit more complicated this year than it. Maybe it was last year. What do we do with Amon, Ross and Brown?

[Danny Heifetz]

Well, who are the. I think. Who are the.

[Danny Kelly]

You take them.

[Danny Heifetz]

Let's. Yeah, you just take them. I will say the teams that we know are le. The Eagles.

[Danny Kelly]

Don't overthink it. Dk.

[Danny Heifetz]

Don't overthink it.

[Mina Kimes]

I'm doing it right now.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, you're. Stop overthinking.

[Danny Kelly]

Look in the mirror. Who is.

[Danny Heifetz]

Look in the mirror.

[Mina Kimes]

I heard. What are we talking about?

[Danny Kelly]

You literally saying what do we do with Aman Rossane Brown, who's like the most consistent, deliverable player in the league with Jared Go. And a good. That's really funny.

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh, my God. You know what's funny about that?

[Mina Kimes]

I didn't even mean to do that. But yeah, you know what's funny?

[Danny Heifetz]

Amara St. Brown got and got the wrong number, but he has the number of players taken above him in the draft. Literally like a memento tattoo so that he never forgets that that was happened to him. So it's a perfect player, too. Okay, next tattoo here. Craig, where is that? What is your lesson from last season? You want to learn this year or remember this year? And where is this on your body?

[Danny Kelly]

It's on my shoulder. It's like the. Like the I heart my mom. What is it? I love mom heart with the heart in it.

[Mina Kimes]

Yeah, it's like that.

[Danny Kelly]

And this is kind of a spin off. It dovetails off DK's, but it's. It's take the guys you want. So it's also good players and good teams, but it's take the guys you Want. And I was honestly going to belabor another restaurant metaphor that I'll probably leave out. It's basically like, order the item you want rather than a different item just because it's half off.

[Mina Kimes]

Someone's trying to, like, someone's trying to convince you to do this, that. Or like, oh, I heard this is really good.

[Danny Kelly]

I'm like, no, if you want the.

[Mina Kimes]

Fish, I want a quesadilla every day.

[Danny Kelly]

All right, yeah. If you want the fish and chips, don't order the pork chops just because they're 50% off, because then you're gonna have pork chops. You don't want pork chops.

[Danny Heifetz]

This is my brother. My brother's the worst order at restaurants ever because he just doesn't connect where he is and in the moment. Versus he's like, I should have a salad. I'm like, well, we're a cracker barrel, Michael. I don't think you should get a fucking salad. And then he orders. He's like, I wish I got the burger. I'm like, no shit. Yeah, read the room.

[Danny Kelly]

So, one strategy I like and I've. I actually came up with it this year, and I'm going to put do it this year and hope it works. I'm basically going to put a little star. I think you should create your tiers, create your rankings, bring them to your draft.

[Danny Heifetz]

Maybe a fantasy football.theringer.com yes.

[Danny Kelly]

Find out all the players you like. Me personally, I honestly like most of the players between 1 and 25 from Saquon and Jamar chase down to that first four quarterback group.

[Mina Kimes]

Jamar, you're not like out on anybody.

[Danny Kelly]

I'm not out from Jamar Chase down to like Lamar Hertz, Jaden Daniels, Josh Allen. I kind of like all 25. And then it kind of gets dicey for the middle 30, 40, and then I like a lot of later on guys. But what I'm doing this year as, I'm just putting a. A little star next to around 50 to 60 guys in my top 200 that I like. And I'm like, you know what? I'm only going to draft guys with the star next to them. And if one guy is cheaper and the other guy's a little bit more expensive and one has the star and the other doesn't, I'm going to take the star.

[Mina Kimes]

Yeah, I, I think this is. Well, first of all, like the rankings or whatever, you're, whatever platform you're drafting on, hopefully Yahoo, because Yahoo's the best, has like their ADP or their rankings list. And you kind of, like, feel really weird drafting out. Like, it's like your people are going to judge you if you take a guy who's like, two rounds below. Yeah, it's like, we. It's a weird. You get stuck to this list that you don't even know who made it or where it's from. You know what I mean? So you get kind of, like, really stuck in that and you're really afraid. I thought, even I find myself doing this all the time. I'm like, oh, I can't drive this guy. He's down the list so far. That would be embarrassing or whatever. I think also this rule, Craig, is really important when you're doing auction drafts because you can play harder. You can get sucked into, oh, this guy is going for so much cheaper than you, than he's expected to. Or that this, like, sheet that I have says he should be. And then you kind of, like, you get into it and you end up with a player that you don't really have that much conviction on with. With auction tracks often auction drafts, I think it's probably best usually, unless it's like, a real value, like, just have a short list of players you want to get and then go get them. You know what I mean? Like, don't. Don't spend time spending $5 10 on some guy that you don't really have that much conviction on because you're going to end up with a team of, like, randoms that you weren't even planning on.

[Danny Kelly]

Yes, there is a difference between taking a guy like James Conner, who has a yearly value, who's fought, who falls in drafts because he's boring. That. That is not necessarily what I'm talking about. I'm talking about if you actively don't like Michael Pittman or Breece Hall. Two guys I was not into last year, two guys I drafted because they were going for 10 to $15 cheaper. And I was sitting there like, man, am I being an idiot? I have no interest in taking these guys. They do not have stars next to their names. I didn't think about them once this entire off season. And yet, man, it seems like a pretty good deal. That is different than James Connor being a value. And every year I know he's a top 10 guy, and I know he's a smart pick. Pick, but he's boring. So there. There are differences there that you kind of have to be aware of. But do not take Michael Pittman. If you don't like Michael Pittman just because he's 10 to $12 cheaper.

[Mina Kimes]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

I totally agree. I, I think the one thing with auction is it's a mix because you do, if you're in an auction draft you do end up wanting to like sit there and wait for your friends that you need. You need like a parlay of when nine other people are all not paying attention at the same time. And you do get a value sometimes. But I agree overall it's. I every. I keep, I actually have a list of notes of tattoos in my phone sometimes of mistakes I made even in leagues I years I won a championship. I'm like, yeah, but you got lucky because like here's a bunch of fuck ups you made that. And every year I have like all these auction players where I'm like, here's this really sick player that you didn't pay two extra dollars for. So congrats on getting J.K. dobbins. You know, I mean it's add up to 12 and I'm like, well I spent six on these two guys. Then when I cut one of them.

[Danny Kelly]

There's nothing worse than like the post draft clarity. You come home, you pull up your roster, you're like, who are.

[Mina Kimes]

He's still in the league. I like, I think that's a great example. Hive. It's too of especially well, particularly in auction leagues where yeah at the end like there's people that only have like one or two dollars left and it's really kind of like depends on how you nominate a player. If you can go up to 2 then a lot of times you're going to win that player. And there's so many good players left so many times. And it's so frustrating if you only have $1 left or you can't bid on anybody because you're like, oh, he's still out there. This is an incredible value and you have like these starter level players going for a dollar or two dollars because.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, like what he marks to the Texans, like he went for a dollar.

[Mina Kimes]

Yeah. So that's where you start to get this regret of like, oh, why did I spend 16 on whoever. And now there's going to be someone on my bench the whole, you know, the whole league.

[Danny Heifetz]

And yeah. So I. This is overall a good thing. Take, take guys. And it's funny because this actually goes back to a real life NFL thing. Lombardi always said this when he was at the ringer with us where he was like, scouting is not through the real life draft. Scouting is not finding players. Scouting is eliminating players.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

Craig just Eliminated, like. Yeah, that's like 100 players I don't really care for.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. Literally just, just. You could be liberal with it. Just star like the 50 to 60 players you like, you think are going to be good, you would like to have on your team. And I bet you you can get like, fill your 15 team roster with those guys.

[Danny Heifetz]

And to be clear, it's okay if you haven't been doing a ton of prep like we have and don't necessarily have those opinions, but if you really, really have strong takes, just roll. And I think the key is like, don't reach. Don't reach like four rounds. If a guy's going to be there in your next pick, that, like, definitely. That's always, I think the line, like, don't go and just get your favorite quarterback or whatever just in round one. But you gotta.

[Mina Kimes]

A little. Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

Anyway, that this goes right into my next role, which is really similar. And this one actually is.

[Danny Kelly]

It's.

[Danny Heifetz]

It's on my knuckles and I didn't really spell it out right, so I actually have two letters on each knuckles. It's kind of hard to read, but.

[Mina Kimes]

It just letters on each knuckle.

[Danny Heifetz]

It's. I really.

[Mina Kimes]

It's a bit much.

[Danny Heifetz]

I was plastered when I could do.

[Mina Kimes]

Like multiple knuckles, you know?

[Danny Heifetz]

Well, I know, but it's a whole sentence. I didn't think it out very well, but on my knuckles it just says Marie Kondo was right.

[Mina Kimes]

It's a lot.

[Danny Heifetz]

It was a terrible idea. I. I don't know. But anyway, I just remember the Marie Kondo is like a covert thing got popular and it's a method of cleaning. And the whole thing was. She was like, here's how you get rid of the things you have. Does it spark joy? No. Get rid of it. Like, that's literally it. And I think I had this epiphany last year that like, that is the ultimate. Some. Not a total strategy, but it's more than a tiebreaker in fantasy football. And I think that if fantasy football has one issue, it's that we almost pretend like we don't watch these players for like 200 hours a year. Like, that you will not be on your couch for 8 to 12 hours on Sunday all season. And the idea, like, just the concept that, like, it's a fantasy football team. I don't know about you guys. When I go to my Happy Gilmore happy place, my fantasy football team, Josh Allen is my quarterback. And the idea that Breeze hall would be in my football fantasy is like preposterous. And so the idea that I would rank Josh Allen behind Breeze hall is ridiculous. And I'm just going to try to remember that this year. I'm not saying you should take Josh Allen first overall in a 1 quarterback league, but if you don't think he'll be there with your next pick, I don't care, because my quarterback is Russell Wilson in real life, and I would like to spend a year with Josh Allen.

[Mina Kimes]

This is why the game was invented, so we can. So we can root for other players. Right?

[Danny Heifetz]

Supposed to be fun.

[Mina Kimes]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Fantasy.

[Danny Heifetz]

Fantasy. Is this player part of your fantasy? Like, ask yourself, if you're between people, ask yourself, which one of these guys do I want to watch for a hundred hours?

[Mina Kimes]

I don't know why Breece Hall's catching strays here, but I do. I like Breeze Hall.

[Danny Kelly]

What are you talking about? Did you watch him last year? You know what happened?

[Danny Heifetz]

He was hurt.

[Danny Kelly]

He was the number two pick in draft and he was fucking terrible. No, he played the whole season, though.

[Mina Kimes]

He had a knee injury.

[Danny Kelly]

Okay, well, it was the worst of all worlds because he was hurt and played.

[Danny Heifetz]

Literally fine.

[Mina Kimes]

Let's go. Go off on Jalen Waddle or something. Geez, leave Priest out.

[Danny Kelly]

I didn't get J second overall. Just saying.

[Mina Kimes]

This is like the perfect example of this rule because now Craig, like, literally hates.

[Danny Heifetz]

I hate Breeze Off.

[Danny Kelly]

He's got no juice.

[Mina Kimes]

This is why, like, I hate.

[Danny Kelly]

By the way, I was the first person on the planet to identify that he had an undisclosed injury. I watched him run in week two, and I was like, something, right? Either this guy's genuinely not good at football or something's wrong with his legs.

[Mina Kimes]

Something's wrong with his legs.

[Danny Heifetz]

True. It's actually. It's so funny because DK gets mad at me so much that I love when Tiki gets mad at something Craig says.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

And Craig was. DK was pissed that Craig mad.

[Danny Kelly]

He.

[Danny Heifetz]

Because he besmirched.

[Mina Kimes]

I was like, you shut your mouth when you're talking to me.

[Danny Heifetz]

He really did.

[Danny Kelly]

It was great, lady.

[Mina Kimes]

It truly was one of those things. It was. I think it was in the same game. It was like Craig was. We were texting and Craig was like, breeze has no choice. I was like. I, like, slapped him in the face. I was like, you shut your mouth when you're talking.

[Danny Kelly]

Hey, you get it together.

[Mina Kimes]

And then I think probably five minutes later, I. I responded. I said, oh, Craig's right.

[Danny Kelly]

He's like.

[Mina Kimes]

He got like, caught from behind on a run. I was like, oh, no, the goal what's going on?

[Danny Kelly]

I was like, this looks like a third string running back. What is going on here?

[Mina Kimes]

He had a knee injury.

[Danny Kelly]

Okay. He had a beard.

[Danny Heifetz]

He's a man. He's a man.

[Danny Kelly]

He had an injury.

[Danny Heifetz]

But yeah, I just, overall, I just like take players that make you happy. That's my ground.

[Mina Kimes]

Who are the players that are landmines for you this year in terms of like, do not spark joy whatsoever, at.

[Danny Heifetz]

Least in the top 50, or do.

[Danny Kelly]

You want to go the other way? Who make you the most happy?

[Danny Heifetz]

Sure, let me talk about joy. Let me talk about happiness now and later I'll talk about toxicity. So I want to start with happiness. The guys that I. Because I think I want to add some specific names to this. Some are obvious. I mean the elite players in every position, running back, the top 10 guys are all sick. Ashton Genti, a chance. All these guys are amazing to watch. Derek Henry, that's not news. The elite receivers, all the top 11 receivers, to me, you know, 12 are amazing to watch. Other than that, the guys, quarterbacks, all four. Honestly, top five quarterbacks. Josh Allen, Lamar Jackson, Jalen hurts, Jen Daniels, that's obvious. But I can't stress enough. Like, if you haven't done that yet, if you've always done late round quarterback, that's probably a good fantasy strategy. I will just say if you're like a Browns fan and you've never. I mean, Lamar Jackson's the division, but like if you can just Sunday Night Football like Bill's Ravens and Josh Allen's your guy. Like it. It actually does make your season better to watch Josh Allen go and have 34 points.

[Mina Kimes]

You're in a better mood. You're nicer to your family, you're nicer to your children.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yes. Lamar Jackson beat that, beat the Texans.

[Mina Kimes]

You'Re just in a better mood. All right. Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

And so the other one, I'll say throwing. Yeah. I'll actually make it the top.

[Danny Kelly]

You don't come home drunk at midnight, pissed off about Breeze Hall. Yell at your family.

[Mina Kimes]

Yell at your family. You don't take it out on your wife.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

Look at my son's eyes and I see this.

[Danny Kelly]

You cook the. Out of the chicken, you throw your.

[Mina Kimes]

Plate against the wall.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, I just, I. The other one, I just look at the traffic. Yeah, I did just pull out certain ones of just guys where I'm like, there's a glaring, like, which of these guys do I want to watch all year? And I had like people. We have Joe Burrow, two spots from Tony Pollard, you know. Yeah, I'd rather watch Joe Burrow, which. Who do you want to watch? Tony was kind of obvious.

[Mina Kimes]

I mean, Tony's kind of a post type sleeper, but there's value there. There is value there. He's going for $10 less than he's.

[Danny Kelly]

Expected to, I think. I think Josh Allen is the single most player that makes you happy. Like the Bills.

[Danny Heifetz]

I agree.

[Danny Kelly]

I've. I've never been the Josh Allen, Stefan Diggs era. Every time I would go up against them, I had genuinely like a terrible day when it was like, I remember it was Monday Night Football. I was, I was, I was up 70 points. He had Josh Allen and Steph Diggs and he won. And I was like, up 70? Yeah. And it was like, honestly, it seemed easy. I was like, I'll probably lose. And Josh Allen and Stefan Diggs easily came up with 70 points. And I'm like, he just does everything and he's involved in every way. He's super likable. The Bills are super fun. They've like the best fans. And I'm like, you know what? I just like want to be on Josh Allen's side for the rest of my life.

[Danny Heifetz]

And so you're up 70 and you lost.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. You know, Diggs had like 180 yards, three touchdowns. Josh Allen ran for two. I was like, of course. But like, this is, this is why you want guys like, that makes you happy.

[Danny Heifetz]

I just want to throw a few other guys that make me happy. Those are the obvious guys. Get an elite quarterback, get an elite running back, elite receivers, other guys that just make me happy. The point being though, you should make your own list. This is my point, is figure out guys that make you happy. My guys I just want to shout out of, like, I just like this per. If this person succeeded on my team, I'd be happier than other people. Ricky Parasol is back to back with like Michael Pittman. And I'm like, on one hand, Michael Pittman who had a bag back last year playing with Daniel Jones or Anthony Richardson and the Colts and just is a pretty boring player next to Ricky Parasol who got shot, came back, had a great story. We had the stupid tattoos of like bet on yourself and everything on his arm. Like, I liked him at Florida, it's just. And one of the best offenses. Shannon. I'm like, I'd rather watch Ricky Parasol. Like, this is obvious. Jaden Reed. I like how he plays. Like, I just. No one likes him this year. People don't like that he's A player. I don't give a. Jade Reed is a man among boys. He fights people like, I love Jaden Reed. Tyler Warren, just unbelievable to watch in college. And I watch him the preseason game, the Colts. I'm like, that guy's gonna be great. He has long hair. I'd like to him on my team. So, anyway, figure out who that is for you. George Kittle. George Kittle's a great George Kittle. Side by side with Bree fucking Hall. Who do you want on your team? George Kittle or Breeze Hall?

[Mina Kimes]

Sometimes it's fun, too. Like, if you're into this kind of thing where you choose a player from your arch rival team. So, like, George Kittle is a perfect example of this. So it's like the 49ers are succeeding. Doesn't feel great in my heart, but guess what? George Kittle.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

Emotional. Yeah, that's.

[Danny Kelly]

That's kind of blasphemous, but.

[Danny Heifetz]

No, I get it, though, because some people. So my brother is an example of someone he'll. My brother will never draft. Eagles or Cowboys, but then both giant Super Bowls. I put money on the Patriots money.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, I. I do get that. I've done that before as well.

[Danny Heifetz]

I'm like, you're telling me if the Giants win the Super Bowl, I only have to pay, like, a couple hundred dollars? Like, I would have paid millions for this.

[Danny Kelly]

When SDSU made it to the national championship, I would just bet against them every week as an emotional hedge.

[Danny Heifetz]

There you go.

[Danny Kelly]

And I was happy. Every time I lost money, I was like, great.

[Danny Heifetz]

Best money you've ever.

[Danny Kelly]

I would have spe bucks for them to make the finals every day.

[Danny Heifetz]

And some people are listening to this. Like, why wouldn't you bet on your team? Because imagine losing the college basketball, like, final, and also, you're out, like, a few hundred bucks. Like, that's awful.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, I did bet on them in the final because I was like, fuck it.

[Danny Heifetz]

We're here. Oh, well, that must have been tired. Well, you broke the streak. That's your fault. Okay. All right. We're gonna get to more rules here in a second, but quick break. On Tuesday, August 26th, it's FanDuel Futures Day, a new holiday for football fans. It's 24 hours of deals on all your football season predictions. So take a Flyer. In the MVP race, Kyler Murray is 50 to 1. Crown your champion in August. The Bucks are, like, 28 to 1 to win the Super Bowl. I think the Bucks might be the second best team in the entire NFC. And the Bucks are 28 to 1 to win the super bowl or parlay your division winner. Dark horses, mark your calendars. This is your day. For your hunches, your hot takes, your calls, and your odds, visit the FanDuel app today and start planning to your futures bets now. Because futures day is one day and one day only. FanDuel, play your game. DK. Next memento tattoo here from last year. What's your. Where is this? What is it?

[Mina Kimes]

This is one of our oldest rules. I think you know this one.

[Danny Kelly]

This tattoo is faded.

[Mina Kimes]

You have first tattoo, you had to.

[Danny Kelly]

Get it retouched up.

[Mina Kimes]

Yeah, kind of like at times I'll, you know, like, do a piece over it so it kind of like blends into all the other tattoos now. But basically it just says, don't trust Kyle Shanahan last year. Well, this one would have fucking saved you from a lot of pain because obviously the Christian McCaffrey debacle. I remember, I feel like we were talking about this before the year. Last year. We're like, ah, we're kind of ignoring it and we're just going to draft. It's kind of ironic that we have Christian McCaffrey ranked in the top three or whatever. For me, this is tough. I just got done talking about George Kittle.

[Danny Kelly]

For me, this is kind of like.

[Mina Kimes]

Me telling you that sugar is bad for you. It's like, you know implicitly that sugar is bad for you. This is what you've heard your whole life. Don't eat that. It's too sugary. It's going to make your stomach hurt. You know what? If there's cookies in my house, they're getting fucking eaten really fast. I'm going to eat them in probably less than a day. I'll. A pack of cookies. I just can't have them in my house. This is like someone telling you not to smoke. When you get drunk, It's. But you do because it's fun. You know what I mean?

[Danny Kelly]

Like, so I'm. Okay. So you're saying Kyle Shanahan and the Niners are a cigarette when you're drunk. Or it's like a pack of Oreos, right?

[Mina Kimes]

Late at night, it's hard to fucking follow this rule.

[Danny Heifetz]

People tell you not to do it, and you're like, oh, fuck those people.

[Mina Kimes]

So, yeah, like, I recognize that I'm being sort of, like, pedantic or something by saying not to trust Kyle Shanahan and my. Like, if. If I was told that, I'd probably be like, this person.

[Danny Heifetz]

Isn't that fun you're the guy lighting up a signature telling the kid, don't smoke, kid.

[Mina Kimes]

It's like, all right, don't tell me what to do.

[Danny Kelly]

Don't be like me. Don't make the same mistakes I did.

[Danny Heifetz]

So you look cool.

[Danny Kelly]

So. So you're saying.

[Mina Kimes]

So this is a tough one. I. I feel like I. This is the rule that actually is probably usually a right. The right one, but I almost never follow it.

[Danny Kelly]

Remember when, like, Pete Davidson paid, like, $100,000 to get all his tattoos removed? Are you going to do that? It feels like you want to get this one removed. It feels like you kind of want to trust Kyle Shanahan.

[Mina Kimes]

This is not the lifestyle I want to live.

[Danny Heifetz]

You don't want none of this, Dewey. Yeah. You don't want none of this.

[Danny Kelly]

I'm already.

[Mina Kimes]

I've already talked myself into George Kittle. I'm talking myself into Ricky Pierce hall. If Christian McAffrey's there at, like, 7 or 8, you know what? I'm probably going to take it, and it's okay. So you're just going to.

[Danny Kelly]

You're into all of the NERs.

[Mina Kimes]

So, look, I'm this. Do as I say, not as I do. All right. That's what I'm saying.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah. Yeah. You're like.

[Mina Kimes]

But also, you can't trust him. You just can't.

[Danny Heifetz]

I think what's good about this is I think that the trust has been removed. I think that maybe. Is that how we convince ourselves to smoke? Is that where, like, well, drunk six don't count. You're like, it doesn't count about trusting him. If you actually. All the players.

[Mina Kimes]

This is like, those stats, like, every cigarette will take four hours off your life. And you're like, all right, that's fine.

[Danny Kelly]

Okay.

[Mina Kimes]

It's like, all right, you know what? I'll die four hours earlier. Okay.

[Danny Kelly]

I actually don't really understand the connection there between what I just said. Taking.

[Mina Kimes]

Taking Shanahan players will take four hours off your life. But you know what I'm gonna do that.

[Danny Heifetz]

It.

[Mina Kimes]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

All right.

[Danny Heifetz]

I will say, but the Niners are like the perfect storm to be like, ah, but I want to do it this year because it's like, they have the easiest schedule in the NFL. They're gonna be way healthier. Like, just. And again, guys are cheaper, like Juwan Jennings, Ricky Parasol. These are guys going. And, like, you know, we can probably get them.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. It makes more sense now. It's like when they, like, took the alcohol out of four Locos or whatever. Like, they made four locos, like, kind of healthier. And you're like, you know what? They're better now. It makes sense.

[Danny Heifetz]

It's Zinn and smoke and vaping, where they're just like, no, no, no, no. Don't worry. We took all the tobacco out. It's just nicotine now. Don't worry.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, it's healthier.

[Mina Kimes]

Where do you guys fall?

[Danny Kelly]

Basically a salad.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, I'm taking all the 49ers I want.

[Mina Kimes]

Kittle, it's a salad with like a shitload of blue cheese dressing.

[Danny Heifetz]

Exactly.

[Mina Kimes]

Right?

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Mina Kimes]

That's super.

[Danny Heifetz]

I want. I'm taking all the nine. This is really. It's like the, like what you're saying, dk, about no sugar, no smoking. I respect you if you do it, but, like, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna eat all the cookies I'm gonna eat. Yeah. So.

[Mina Kimes]

Because I like those people that will wake up at 4am and have a full day before I get out of bed. If you don't. If you want to not take Shanahan Players, I respect you. I'm not getting up at 4 in the morning.

[Danny Heifetz]

What is that video? Craig, your favorite Internet video? The guy who said three days in one day.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, my God.

[Mina Kimes]

4Am to 7am I've already banged out a workout. I've already done. I've already taken some. Some notes. He's like, doing a diary.

[Danny Kelly]

He's like, my day starts at 5am and he's like, from 5am to 10am, boom. That's day one. Then 10am to 2pm that's day two. I'm kicking your butt. And then 3pm to 6pm that's my third day. And then by then, six to midnight, bam. Four days. I'm living for one. I do 1,000 days a year. I'm kicking your ass.

[Mina Kimes]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

He's like, you do that for a month, I'm ahead of you. You do that for a year. Going to kick your butt. I do that for five years. You can't stop me. What's this guy talking? That's like when Kramer start. Like, only wanted to sleep in naps inside.

[Danny Heifetz]

Like Napoleon. He's like 20 minutes every four hours.

[Danny Kelly]

Slept for like three hours a day.

[Mina Kimes]

Wolf naps.

[Danny Kelly]

I genuinely. I adore that video. I don't know who that man is. I wish I. I should look him up.

[Danny Heifetz]

I think we could find him.

[Mina Kimes]

Yeah, there's several versions of it.

[Danny Heifetz]

I feel like dk, which you have another twin tattoo with this one. This one's actually A pair of you have here.

[Mina Kimes]

Yeah, this one I actually do want to follow. This is like, maybe closer to don't do black tar heroin because it actually might kill you. Don't shackle yourself to the whims of Shawn Payton. The whims of Shawn Payton. What's Sean's. What's Sean's middle name?

[Danny Kelly]

I'm on it.

[Mina Kimes]

Sean Sean Payton. Everybody's starting to believe his name is.

[Danny Kelly]

His middle name is Sean.

[Mina Kimes]

Okay, well, what's his first name?

[Danny Kelly]

Patrick.

[Mina Kimes]

Patrick Sean Payton. Don't shackle yourself to the whims of Patrick Sean Payton.

[Danny Kelly]

What's funny about that is that means his initials are psp. Oh, damn. Nevermind. I thought it was pcp, which I thought would have really worked.

[Mina Kimes]

Okay, here's the deal. He's a good coach. He's obviously a very good coach. I think the Broncos are probably going to be pretty good. He did a great job with Bo Nicks. All that stuff can be true. At the same time, I don't like having players on his teams because it's really annoying. And there's all these people that say, oh, look at the history of what he's done at the running back position. Look at this. He. He turned, you know, Camara and Mark ingram into both RB1s. All through his history, he's done this. Blah, blah, blah. RJ Harvey is fifth on the depth chart right now behind Audric Esteve and Tyler Beatty. He's doing this to fuck with you. He's doing this because he hates you. He doesn't like you. He doesn't want your happiness. He doesn't care about you. That's all I'm saying. I don't want to be sucked into this. I've. You know what? Look, I've drafted some RJ Harvey. I'll admit it, but I don't feel good about it. I don't like it. I don't want to have any part of this team. This is very, I guess, similar to Heifetz's thing where if it sparks joy or if it doesn't spark joy, it actually sparks rage for me watching some of these teams. The receiver with the highest snap count last year, or, sorry, the running back snap count last year was 53%.

[Danny Kelly]

Okay?

[Mina Kimes]

We all got excited about R.J. harvey, and then they signed J.K. dobbins. What are we going to do with this rebuttal?

[Danny Kelly]

Maybe there's a reason why Cortland Sutton was the only wide receiver to play a significant portion of snaps, because none of the other ones were good and he was trying to figure out which one was good. And then none of his running backs were good and he was trying to figure out which ones are good. And then when he has good players on the Saints with Alvin Camara and Michael Thomas or Marcus Colson, those guys played because they were good. And he just doesn't have that many good players. And so he's trying to draft new ones and see if those are good.

[Mina Kimes]

I mean, yeah, that's probably right, but.

[Danny Kelly]

I think the guy was rolling out Troy Franklin and Marvin Mims.

[Mina Kimes]

Every time Marvin the football, he gets like 20 yards and then he refuses to play this guy. Not that I think Marvin Mims is like this world beater, but I don't think. I just think again, it's like Shanahan, it's. These guys have their guys that they like, and even if they are good, Craig, like, in our opinion, maybe some of these guys are good. If Peyton decides that you're not good, then you're not getting on the field. And so I just don't want to be like, I don't want to have to worry about who he likes any certain week. He's. He's just rotating guys. Cortland.

[Danny Heifetz]

I think this is an important thing because I think the Broncos have become like the most popular team of the year to project.

[Mina Kimes]

Everyone's coming around on this team.

[Danny Heifetz]

But you're not.

[Danny Kelly]

I'm not.

[Danny Heifetz]

But I think that RJ Harvey's an interesting one because on one hand, I think RJ Harvey hasn't really been talked about enough in a way, because, yeah, RJ Harvey, he's the UCF running back and he was a quarterback in Virginia. I know I've talked about this, but again, it, to me, it's underrated that on one hand, I think RJ Harvey is going to be like a Darren Sprols for this Broncos team. Which. What does that mean?

[Mina Kimes]

Because, like, actually is an ick for me, even though.

[Danny Heifetz]

Because I want to end. Darren Sproul's best year of his career was 600 rushing yards. He's like, he was a very small pass catching running back, but I'm like, I'm also a little dubious. I'm like, can you really be in Darren Sprouls as a rookie? Like, that's a lot like, especially for Sean Payton, where rookies sometimes struggle. Like the idea that RJ Harvey will come in and just be Darren Sproles in the passing game, I'm like, maybe he'll be Darren Sproles later. But expecting that From RG Harvey immediately seems like a lot. The other I will. But then I think about it, I'm like, but I. RJ Harvey played quarterback in college at Virginia for a year. And I'm like, so he could throw. So Sean Payton took a guy in the second round who can throw. And I'm like, this is a running quarterback. But yeah, this is the. Okay, but this is the Taysom Hill. He doesn't have to be a good quarterback. He just has to be a credible enough passer to, if someone's uncovered, hit them. And so suddenly if you're in the running game and you're designing weird shit and you're like, oh, the starting running backs motioning, what are we going to do? You throw him a swing pass and everyone crashes down. He can throw it. And like, I kind of think that he's going to, he's going to put that on tape in week one or two just to force defenses to deal with it. But even then I'm like, this is a more interesting in real life player, I think than necessarily some fantasy like dependent running back. I don't know. Because on one hand I worry that RG Harvey could be the skeleton key of the season and be like the lead running back on a Broncos team. That's great winning, playing with rushing and defense. On the other hand, I'm like, this guy's going to be part of a three down backfield. That is to dig his point. It's going to be completely and utterly unpredictable when RG Harvey is playing getting touches. And we'll have no clue how to.

[Mina Kimes]

Go about, you know the very famous video of Chris Farley where he's like a guy in the crowd and they're talking about coffee or something. And he like gives, he gives. He tricks him and gives him like decaf or something. I can't remember what the conceit is. And at first he's like, he's like, ah. And then he gets really upset. Like he gets like super mad. That was like me. I was like, RJ Harvey, second round. Oh my God, I love RJ Harvey. And then I see who he's drafted by.

[Danny Kelly]

I'm like, no, I was.

[Mina Kimes]

Son of a bitch.

[Danny Kelly]

I respectfully disagree. I'm in on RJ Harvey.

[Danny Heifetz]

Well, here's the.

[Danny Kelly]

I think he go for it. I'm just, I think he could be the skeleton key, the whole rookie thing. Dude, reggie bush had 120 targets as a rookie.

[Danny Heifetz]

With Sean Payton, Craig, you're doing what they all do.

[Danny Kelly]

Alvin Kamara had 100 targets as a rookie. Reggie Bush had 1500 yards. Alvin Camara had 800 yards receiving as a rookie with under with Sean Payton. I think J.K. dobbins has had nine injuries and he's like 26 years old. That's the only thing standing in between. I don't even think he is standing in between. I think RJ Harvey could be a very serviceable player even with JK Dobbins.

[Danny Heifetz]

Every game Dobbins played. I think this is the one thing I will say, I think sometimes Bo.

[Danny Kelly]

Nix checks down more than any quarterback in the league.

[Mina Kimes]

I know, I know.

[Danny Heifetz]

But I think this is the thing. Sometimes we get wrapped up in where it's like Ben Johnson goes from the lines to the Bears and we're like, well, Jameer Gibbs and David Montgomery are great. And I'm like, oh, I wonder if one of these Bears running back Swift and Roshan Johnson, like what if they'll be great? And I'm like, oh yeah right. The Bears aren't the Lions. The same thing with Sean Payton where we're like trying to force a running back to be great in this offense. And I will say the Saints teams that were doing that with Kamara and Mark Ingram were literally some of the best offenses in the history of professional football. Like those are Saints teams that score. Drew Brees was like the first 5,000 yard passer when that was happening. Like the 2017 Saints. That's like the best team to never win a Super bowl of my life.

[Mina Kimes]

Was that so Reggie Bush was like breeze maybe the greatest college football player of all time.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yes. And I'm just. I know. And I'm just saying the flip. And here's the point. The defense, they were the Lions where the defense was horrific and injury prone and they had to win by scoring 35 points a game. The Broncos are probably going to have the best defense in the entire NFL this year. And so the idea that RJ Harvey is going to necessarily be a pass catching run, like the Broncos are going to truncate games, try to run and like play with defense. Where I'm like there literally might. I don't necessarily think Sean Payton's vision to winning the super bowl this year is by scoring 30 points a game like he was with the 2012 Saints. That's my only thing. Having said that, watch our trade.

[Mina Kimes]

I love RJ Harvey. I wish him nothing but success because I really did like him before the draft. But I don't know, man, you gotta. These are the tattoos. You gotta listen to these things.

[Danny Kelly]

Javante Williams led all running backs last year with 54 targets on play action alone.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, that's what. That's. Those are the stats where I'm like Javante Williams anyway. I. I know, I know. How do you say, I think I leave dead last?

[Danny Kelly]

No, I'm saying this man is try. Sean Payton is trying to tell us something. If he. If he can't stop targeting Javante Williams and then he. He reaches for a running back in the second round of the draft, what is he telling us?

[Danny Heifetz]

I don't know.

[Mina Kimes]

He traded up for Martin Mims and then barely played them.

[Danny Heifetz]

I'm with Craig, but DK is going to be right. But I'm going to sign. I'm going to take RJ Harvey, but DK is going to be. Look back at me.

[Danny Kelly]

I don't know if it'll work immediately, but I think by the end of the season, RJ Harvey will be very important.

[Danny Heifetz]

That is the one thing I'll say if you end up with RJ Harvey.

[Danny Kelly]

Hold on.

[Danny Heifetz]

You cannot cut him in October if he's, like, benched and not playing. I don't care what, like, you have to do, like, going back like Odysseus past the fucking sirens wax in your ears. Don't listen to anyone. You cannot cut RJ Harvey if he's not playing in September, because by November, he could be a top 10 running back if he's playing for Bron, like, if J.K. dobbins gets hurt. So you have to hold him. Um. Okay.

[Mina Kimes]

Go Broncos.

[Danny Heifetz]

This is all, like, a big lead up to this one. I think the last few. This one's. This is what it's really about. Craig, your next tattoo here. Where. Where's this. Where's this one located? What's it say?

[Danny Kelly]

This one I got when I was blacked out drunk and I woke up the next morning and saw it in the mirror on my ass. And it said, avoid anybody who skipped minicamp to see if the aliens built the pyramids. Yeah, this one stings, I have to say. Hoisted by my own petard.

[Danny Heifetz]

Why, Craig? Which. Which player avoided spinning kids? The aliens built the pyramids. Which player did this?

[Danny Kelly]

Aaron Rodgers. A very curious man who's just. Who just wants to learn.

[Mina Kimes]

He's an enigma, really.

[Danny Kelly]

Is it. Is it so bad to want to learn about world history? Travel the world, see the world's greatest, you know, the seven wonders of the world? I don't think the pyramids are one of those, but I'm pretty sure they are. Are they? Almost positive. Isn't there a modern seven seven wonders of the ancient and then an ancient seven wonders.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yes.

[Danny Kelly]

Which one is it? Is it the ancient is the pyramids.

[Mina Kimes]

The Great Pyramid of Giza is one of the ancient world.

[Danny Heifetz]

No, the pyramids are the modern one. What the. How.

[Danny Kelly]

How modern are the modern ones?

[Mina Kimes]

The pyramids in the world? Hyphetz. What's the status?

[Danny Heifetz]

Like Cleopatra was closer to the moon landing than the building of the pyramids.

[Mina Kimes]

That's wild.

[Danny Kelly]

Well, if they are the oldest thing in the world. Heifets like you said, pretty impressive to build those such a long time ago.

[Mina Kimes]

Craig, did Aaron Rodgers go to How.

[Danny Kelly]

How are the pyramids the oldest thing in the world? Makes you think.

[Mina Kimes]

I mean, it's a valid question. The Hanging Gardens of Babylon. The statue of Zeus at Olympia. The temple of Artemis at Ephesus. The mausoleum of. Okay, these are some hard words. Halicarnassus, Colossus. Colossus of Rhodes. Lighthouse Alexandria. Did he go to all those two? Those are the seven ancient.

[Danny Kelly]

I'm sure it's on the list.

[Mina Kimes]

World ones.

[Danny Kelly]

Also, like, I gotta say, the modern wonders of the world are not exactly like last year. It's like the Great Wall. It's like Machu Picchu and fucking.

[Mina Kimes]

That's not modern.

[Danny Kelly]

It's one of the modern wonders of the world.

[Mina Kimes]

That's funny.

[Danny Kelly]

Great Wall of China. So coliseum. So these are all like long times, thousands of years ago.

[Mina Kimes]

It's kind of confusing. They have two lists.

[Danny Heifetz]

Agree. But anyway, I think we're also reading off Google Gemini, which isn't helping here.

[Mina Kimes]

Could be wrong.

[Danny Heifetz]

What?

[Danny Kelly]

The new seven wonders of the World.

[Danny Heifetz]

No. Dk, we're getting sucked in. This is just Craig deflecting from, like, how the fact that the Steelers signed Aaron Rodgers and he's just going in on Aaron Rodgers and like, we should take this advice and like, talk about. No.

[Danny Kelly]

Here's what I'll say. Here's what I'll say. This was about fantasy football, which I still agree with. I do not think Aaron Rodgers is a good pick in fantasy football this year. Do I think perhaps this was a better decision to pay him $13 million than Kirk Cousins 100 or Sam Darnold? 100. Yes.

[Danny Heifetz]

Are you going to take DK Metcalf in fantasy drafts this year? If he falls to you at cost?

[Danny Kelly]

Like, you know, fifth round at cost, like, maybe. I do think he will get a lot of targets. I think that it will be a funnel offense to him. And Aaron Rodgers threw more passes than any other quarterback last year. I'm not going to go out of my way to draft DK Metcalf now. But, you know, look, I'm. I'm deflecting. I'm a little upset that this was a tattoo I found on my ass this morning.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, stuff.

[Mina Kimes]

You guys talked me into it. Hey, is there anyone. Is there anyone besides Aaron Rodgers that applies to this rule in terms of. Is anyone having, like a weird ass off season?

[Danny Heifetz]

Well, no, I think. Well, weird off season. Well, I mean, Diggs would be the. I don't know if it's. I mean, doing drugs on a boat sounds way cooler than allegedly.

[Danny Kelly]

Also, like, I feel like Diggs. Diggs has been Diggs. Is this like a weird off season or is this just always what he does? And we just saw it on camera once, right?

[Danny Heifetz]

Bingo. Yeah. This still leads to my. Another one that's the. The twin to my other tattoo here. And it's just like it's on my. It's on my thigh. It just says, avoid toxic people in toxic places. And I am going to try to adhere to this. And the names I have tattooed on my. On my body of the. Of toxic people in places. Kyle Pitts, Jalen Waddle, Chicago Jets.

[Mina Kimes]

Cleveland, Chicago, Chicago, City of Chicago.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yes. And with the team, the Bears Jets.

[Mina Kimes]

So no flying.

[Danny Heifetz]

So I think you're bad at interpreting tattoos. But the. I think these things together, to me, are the theme of this whole episode, which is like, you have rankings, you have tears, and the tiebreakers, if you're between players are, do you love one of these players and you're average about the other, or do you hate one of these players? What are you talking about? And I'm like, again, I know he said this earlier, but it's the same thing. Breeze Hall, Garrett Wilson, Jets. George Kittle, not a Jet. Why am I trying so hard this off season to talk myself in to investing in Justin Fields and his dislocated toe and the jets and Garrett Wilson, Breeze Hall. Why am I trying to do that to myself? Like, why am I. And I. Do you know what I mean?

[Danny Kelly]

This is essentially just draft good players on good teams.

[Danny Heifetz]

It is, but it's also the inverse because sometimes you're comparing an average player on an average team to. I guess an example is I'm really trying to talk myself into the Jaguars. I love the Jaguars. It's unrelated to Travis Hunter. I just believe in Liam Cohen, the coach. I believe in Trevor Lawrence at quarterback. I know a lot of people are out and I'm like, why am I. Aren't the Jaguars A toxic place. Who has succeeded in Jacksonville? Why am I trying so hard to find the first great functional offense in Jacksonville history? Why am I trying to create this? The Bears have never had a 4,000 yard passer. Why am I trying so hard to carve a piece of the first? This has never happened. Why am I trying so just trying to make toxic things work.

[Mina Kimes]

Hi, Fitz. This is like kind of like stop trying to make fetch happen.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yes, fetch. The Jets. The Jags.

[Mina Kimes]

Try to make the Jags happen.

[Danny Heifetz]

Why? I don't want to do this. So that's kind of where I'm at. And I. Yeah, that's.

[Mina Kimes]

Let's just change that.

[Danny Heifetz]

I like that.

[Mina Kimes]

Or let's look at that on there. But I, I actually, I think this is good. Like, stop trying to invent reasons that someone's gonna like go off or whatever.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, I'm sorry Garrett Wilson went to the jets, but like that's a huge problem.

[Mina Kimes]

Yeah. So yeah, now he's stuck there. He just signed a thing.

[Danny Heifetz]

Any other players you think this applies to all the Browns? So Jerry Judy, if Jerry Judy's great, I'd rather lose without. I'd rather lose without Jerry Judy than win with him. I'm just done. I don't like the Browns.

[Mina Kimes]

I mean the Titans a little bit. Like, we love Cam Ward, think he's gonna be a good player, but are we trying to make fetch happen? When we talk about Calvin Ridley and.

[Danny Heifetz]

We talk about he's the only receiver we're drafting on the team, I don't think we're necessarily. We're saying Cam Ward will probably target the. A shitload out of Calvin Ridley. And we're like, him being 75th is probably value. We have him like 60th.

[Mina Kimes]

I think maybe it's. Maybe it's the Raiders. Maybe it's our love of Pete Carroll and the Raiders. Genti, by the way. Well, we'll talk about this, but Genti did not, did not do great in his first NFL outing.

[Danny Heifetz]

The Raiders are concerning. Like if they went really bad, we're like, oh yeah. Pete Carroll is the oldest coach in NFL history and Tom Brady weird part time owner and Chip Kelly washed out of the end and like literally got bored of. He won't recruit. So he just like only wants to call plays now and hates college players.

[Mina Kimes]

Genti three carries for negative one yards. Well, if you extrapolate that to then to the season, he's losing a lot of yards.

[Danny Kelly]

I desperately need that man to play week two of preseason so that, that's not the only thing that's stuck in.

[Danny Heifetz]

My brain on draft dude, I will say Genty, I'm gonna be. If Genti. If Ashton Genti's bad and we're like, oh, yeah. All those tackles that he broke were like people who are never gonna play professional football. Football. It was Boise State. I'm going to be really sad if.

[Danny Kelly]

Caleb and Genti both end up just, like, being bad. I'm officially just going to fade every single, like, consensus overall. Yeah, I'm just going to be like, I'm just going to do the opposite. I think there's one other. The inverse high fits of like, the fetch thing to me is like, Kyron Williams where it's like, stop trying to not make Kyron Williams a thing.

[Mina Kimes]

Totally. That's a good one.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

You know what I mean? It's like, it's happening. Accept it. Ok.

[Danny Heifetz]

I actually have a list of players like that. I didn't have a great place for this, but I agree. Stop trying. Yeah, whatever you just said. Stop trying to get me to stop.

[Mina Kimes]

Stop trying to get me to stop saying fetch.

[Danny Heifetz]

We're anchored to guys that the draft capital. No matter what or what we thought of them before. It's why I keep talking about Kyle Pitts. I think guys that we didn't think would be as good as they are and are going to get either. A lot of, like, running back is Kyron Williams. Perfect example. Bucky Irving. And then also Chase Brown, who have chased Pacheco, too. Yeah, Isaiah Pacheco, James Connor. Chase Brown's a good example of. If Chase Brown had been like. If Ashton Genti just did what Chase Brown did, Freaky Friday style. If Chase Brown just did or Ashton Jetty just did. With Chase Brown this year after Ash and Genti was on the Bengals coming in the season, we'd have Ashton Genti as like a top 12 pick. But Chase Brown did it. So it's like, oh, he can go 25th and 35th or something. And I'm like, we should probably just believe that Chase Brown's going to get the same role again. We should probably just believe Kyron Williams. Like, that's a good. That, that's a good call. Like a. Like Rashid Shahid's probably on that list of guys that if he had been a. If James Williams has done what she's done in his career, he'd be like 40 spots higher. But it's Rashid Shahid. It's kind of an ick. So it's like outside the top 100, there's a lot of guys like that.

[Danny Kelly]

Also, if Marvin Harrison Jr. Was like a third round pick and he did what he did last year, he'd be 30.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah.

[Mina Kimes]

Actually, no, that's not true because we'd probably be stoked about him because he was a third round pick and he had.

[Danny Heifetz]

That's true.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, maybe that's right.

[Danny Heifetz]

Sneaky Good. Yeah. Marvin Harrison.

[Danny Kelly]

I like the Freaky Friday reference hype. It's very, very relevant as the freak year Friday just came out.

[Danny Heifetz]

Freak your Friday. I still want to figure out a format for that where we just read each other's stats about a player, but it's like a lie and it's someone else.

[Danny Kelly]

Is it a. Is it a freakier Friday if it happened again? Like, they already. They've already done this, so I didn't.

[Danny Heifetz]

See it yet, but I assume that freaky or regular Friday some kind of like this.

[Danny Kelly]

Like, I believe there's now four people swapping. It's like Lindsay Lohan and Jamie Lee Curtis have swapped with like teenagers, I think.

[Mina Kimes]

Oh, I guess.

[Danny Kelly]

I think, yeah. So are you guys wanting to see that movie?

[Danny Heifetz]

I. I would actually. Freaking Friday is a good movie. Jamie Lee Curtis after the bear. Loving it.

[Danny Kelly]

Oscar winner.

[Danny Heifetz]

Oscar winner. What did she win the Oscar for?

[Danny Kelly]

She just won it a couple years ago. Everything everywhere, all at once.

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh, yeah, that movie.

[Danny Kelly]

Great movie.

[Danny Heifetz]

The movie is excellent. Although I think that movie, I don't know how you feel. I'm surprised it won the Oscar because. Very bizarre Oscar parents generation can't follow it. Like, the multiverse thing doesn't stick for them.

[Danny Kelly]

No.

[Danny Heifetz]

They can't conceive. You hated it.

[Mina Kimes]

No, I said they hated it.

[Danny Kelly]

They did. I mean, like, Bill didn't like it. My parents were like, we turned it off after an hour. What the hell was that?

[Danny Heifetz]

Jack and I were like texting me.

[Mina Kimes]

Being like, what is this movie?

[Danny Kelly]

I saw that in the theaters and I remember it was like the cliche of like, you'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll cheer. Like I was. I did all of that in the span of two hours watching that movie.

[Danny Heifetz]

Email us at rigor fantasy football gmail.com. other movies that you think, like, really had a generational divide where you're like, older people were like, I don't get this. And younger people, like, this changed my life. Like, I'm sure Fight Club was probably like that when it came out. But like, movies like, everything everywhere, all at once, where your parents were like, I couldn't finish it.

[Danny Kelly]

It's also the humor was very Current and modern, like the style of the jokes. It was just an incredibly modern film.

[Danny Heifetz]

All right, next tattoo here, Craig.

[Danny Kelly]

This is tattooed on my rib cage, and it just says, Jamar Chase 101. Take him first. You can't convince me otherwise. He's the best wide receiver and the best passing offense with the best passing quarter. I'm just doing it. I will take Jamar Chase. That's it.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, that's good. No notes.

[Danny Kelly]

He's the best.

[Mina Kimes]

There was. There was a moment I can't remember. It was over the last couple of months where you were trying to talk about someone else at number one. I was like, craig, what about Jamal Chase? This is. Sorry, we're recording this, like, a little early, but Jamar Chase last night for the Bengals.

[Danny Kelly]

He's good. Why was he playing? I kind of love that they're.

[Danny Heifetz]

Just. Because. It's. Because the Bengals, like, Joe Burrow's never had a normal preseason because everyone was Covid. And then year two, he had, I think, in an emergency. App. Yeah, he recovered a calf injury. One calf injury. Then he had, like, an apple pick.

[Mina Kimes]

Up a water bottle.

[Danny Heifetz]

He's app. He had to get his appendix removed on, like, the first day of training camp one year. Like, just. He's literally never. So they're like. And then they keep starting 0 and 2 each year and then fighting to get back in the playoffs. So, like, we probably need to get in a rhythm and then. Yeah, look great. Speaking of which. That's so funny you brought that up. I have this crazy tattoo across my chest. It's written backwards. I can see it in the mirror, and it just says, joe Burrow killed my family. What do you guys think that means?

[Danny Kelly]

I think you need to do some investigating.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, that's crazy.

[Mina Kimes]

Soul searching, if you will.

[Danny Heifetz]

So my biggest mistake of my professional career last year was basically pointing everyone away from the Cincinnati Bengals because I did. Because, like, I was worried about Joe Burr's wrist, and it wasn't based on nothing. It wasn't just. I was like, the water bottle thing had nothing to do with it. Zero. It's on the record. It happened.

[Mina Kimes]

Something to do with it.

[Danny Heifetz]

No, it didn't. No, That. I will say this for Craig. It did not. No, do not. Do not put it out there. I talked about it, like, ten times before that. That was not a thing.

[Danny Kelly]

I'm just a chaos agent. I'm just trying to shit.

[Danny Heifetz]

Water bottle had nothing to do with it.

[Mina Kimes]

Great.

[Danny Heifetz]

But it's fun.

[Danny Kelly]

Seriously, though, who did build the pyramids? You know?

[Danny Heifetz]

What? I mean, yeah, yeah.

[Mina Kimes]

We need. I think here's. Here's how we need to approach this Joe Burrow killed my family tattoo. We got to identify, and I think we talked about this last show a little bit. We need to figure out who your Joe Burrow is every year.

[Danny Heifetz]

I agree, because. And just for people who don't know that, it really was the worst mistake ever made, because I actually think as a percentage of hits, I think I got more stuff right last season than I ever have. And yet if you add all that.

[Danny Kelly]

Up, the one you made, your identity.

[Danny Heifetz]

Pointing people away from the Bengals was the worst thing. Outweighs literally getting everything, even McCaffrey. We moved McCaffrey down because I was like, I don't like this Achilles situation or the caf situation. And I was like, I just overall was like, I don't like the. The. The risk situation with Burrow.

[Danny Kelly]

Man, I wish you would have focused.

[Mina Kimes]

Hard on Christian McCaffrey instead. That would have been awesome.

[Danny Heifetz]

Pointing people away from Burrow. I know.

[Mina Kimes]

Well, you did talk about him.

[Danny Heifetz]

But we did. We moved McCaffrey.

[Mina Kimes]

But I'm saying I wish you'd have been obsessed with it.

[Danny Heifetz]

Like, I know that would have been better. But the pointing people away from Burrow and Chase and Higgins was like, the worst mistake I've ever made. Because pointing people away from league winner is a lot worse than talking up a guy that sucks. It doesn't matter if you miss one pick, but missing one of the few players that changes the season is a huge problem. So that is good to remember. But I will say it also is a theme that my most passionate take of any given year is always wrong. And I can't explain it, but I just know. And I have. I want to let you guys know I have identified what it is this year.

[Mina Kimes]

Oh, okay.

[Danny Heifetz]

The mix of certainty, arrogance, like, oh, I want to get enough information, feel like I'm right. But, like, when you look into it a little more, I'm like, oh, I see. And I have identified what I think it is, and I'm going to stop on my tracks. I figured it out, and if you guys need a hit, let me know.

[Mina Kimes]

But I. I figured out what Anthony Richardson.

[Danny Kelly]

Well, it's funny that Anthony. It was Anthony Richardson, and then he literally got hurt.

[Danny Heifetz]

No, that's not it.

[Mina Kimes]

Because that's too low stakes.

[Danny Heifetz]

The whole. The whole thing is, oh, your last pick, you're going to cut him anyway. I'm like, take Anthony Richardson.

[Danny Kelly]

I don't care that he's dk. Let's guess. Give us a second.

[Mina Kimes]

Justin. Jefferson's going to have like 3,000 yards. I don't know.

[Danny Heifetz]

I'm not that anti Jefferson. I think I have him higher.

[Danny Kelly]

Wait. Hi, Vince. Give us a hint. Is this a person you're out on that you think will actually be great or is this a person you think will be great that will actually flop?

[Danny Heifetz]

The hint is Deacon. I've disagreed about it multiple times and I think Deke is right. I've thought about it and I think I'm wrong and he's right.

[Danny Kelly]

The Saints will be good.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yes. I think that I have absolutely. I've identified in the tracks. It is all the same things, like they're gonna suck. They're gonna suck. They're gonna suck. They're gonna suck.

[Mina Kimes]

You have. That's why. This is exactly why I pushed back a little bit. I'm literally just being contrarian because you guys keep talking about them winning like three. I'm like, they'll be. They'll probably win like seven games.

[Danny Heifetz]

Everything. I realize you get wrong, which is a bunch of things I realize. I believe no one ever actually can correctly identify the team getting the number one pick or like the idea like, oh, the worst pick, like that's always wrong, right?

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, like, I mean I feel like last year we kind of thought the Titans would get the first overall pick.

[Mina Kimes]

Okay.

[Danny Heifetz]

Usually I don't know but like will Levis the okay, but fine. But like how many times two years ago the Cardinals were like, wow, the Cardinals have the Houston's first round pick. That could be the number one pick in the draft. Texans made the fucking playoffs. You know what I mean? Like that happens all the time. And so that also we have talked so much about the Niners having the best schedule in the NFL and like that could Niners pencil them into the playoffs because they have the number one schedule. The Patriots could make the playoffs. They have the easiest schedule, the second easiest of the Niners. The fucking Saints have the third easiest schedule in the NFL this year and they had a lot of injuries. And I am not going to say they're going to make the playoffs because I still, I don't believe in Spencer Rattler. I think Kellen Moore going from the best offense in the NFL and the Eagles to the Saints. Like there's all these issues. However, I think I have over indexed on the Saints will suck. And I'm like lumping the Saints who have who their issue is they're always competitive, they're obsessed with winning at the point that they've created, like, a salary cap Ponzi scheme to stay competitive every year. Lumping New Orleans in with Cleveland, the Jets, Chicago, teams with decades and decades of losing and unable to stay out of their own way, I think is, like, a huge mistake for me. So, like, I am not. I. Obviously, the Saints could suck, but I am going to not lump in New Orleans with all these pathetic franchises.

[Mina Kimes]

I wish this was higher stakes because I think this is right. Like, you have been, like, fixated on this a little bit, but, like, what if the Saints are good? Like, it won't matter that much. You know what I mean?

[Danny Heifetz]

Like, so maybe that's it, though, Is it that the Saints win the division? Is that.

[Mina Kimes]

Or maybe it's like, Chris Olave has 1500 yards and 12 touchdowns or something.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, because like, if you're wrong, it's like, okay, the Saints won six or seven games.

[Mina Kimes]

Maybe it's like Alvin Camara and Chris Olave and Rashid Shahid are all superstars in fantasy or something like that.

[Danny Heifetz]

Are great.

[Mina Kimes]

This is what I talked about last show. You know, they're going to play fast. They're. They want to be the Pacers. Craig. I know how much you love that. You know, they want to do this.

[Danny Heifetz]

Why was Craig, like. Why would Craig like that?

[Mina Kimes]

Craig was saying he hates that.

[Danny Kelly]

Or maybe it was an ick that Kellen Moore showed them tape of the Pacers.

[Danny Heifetz]

I was like, anyway, why is that an ick?

[Danny Kelly]

I don't know. It just feels irrelevant and, like, it feels like such a. Like a cliched move or. It's like. It's like Kellen Moore knew that would get out and thought it sounded cool more than he actually believed it would work, you know?

[Danny Heifetz]

No, I. All these guys.

[Danny Kelly]

That's a real PR thing.

[Danny Heifetz]

All football players want to be basketball players.

[Danny Kelly]

No, I know, but, like, I don't think that has any material influence on anything. It's like, look at the Pacers. Look how much they run. They're like, yep, okay, that's a different sport.

[Mina Kimes]

I like it. Craig, this is like. This goes back to, like, the Pete Carroll days in Seattle. He would always do stuff like this, where he was. He was showing videos of, like, apex predators and, like, how fast they would strike and.

[Danny Kelly]

But that's cool. That's, like, motivating.

[Danny Heifetz]

Interesting. Basketball. That's a different sport. Lion hunting is zebra.

[Danny Kelly]

And you're like, that's way cooler because that's, like, motivating. That's, like, visceral. Watching a lion like somebody. It's like, oh, Tyrese Halliburton. Look how quickly he gets the outlet pass out. Who cares?

[Mina Kimes]

I actually think Craig is really right about this.

[Danny Kelly]

This a Cheeto running 80 miles an hour taking an antelope down is like really cool. Miles Turner here. Look how quickly he gets the board and finds Tyrese.

[Mina Kimes]

Like, yeah, there's. I would say the Pacers is one of the least interesting, like, finals teams in a long time.

[Danny Kelly]

Well, no, they were one of the coolest stories in the NBA in a while, I would say.

[Mina Kimes]

But like, lack of superstars maybe so.

[Danny Heifetz]

Well, yeah, yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

But like, I just don't. I don't know. Again, this. That sounds cool in theory, like when you read it in a headline. But when I actually think about it, I'm like, I don't know. That's kind of lame.

[Danny Heifetz]

Kind of like, just show that. Hyenas tearing down. I saw a player just said that, like 11 hyenas can tear down a lion. I forget.

[Mina Kimes]

Here's the stat from Jared Smaller that I thought was interesting. All six of Kellen Moore's NFL offenses have averaged at least 65 plays per game. For perspective, only four teams average 65 plus plays for game last year. Plays are fantasy. That's going to help in fantasy. That's all I'm saying.

[Danny Heifetz]

But does me acknowledging that this happened and I caught it in his tracks, does that mean we can make money off it? Or then it's just like. It's just. There's a. There was a universe where I would have just talked about the Saints getting the first pick and being a disgust, like, pathetic team. And then the Saints like make the playoffs and Olavia. Does that universe. Are we in that timeline still or just me acknowledging it, ruin it?

[Danny Kelly]

Can I be 100% honest? I don't think you've fully put your passion behind the Saints. Take the way you did burrow in the Bengals last year. There's still. There's something else inside you that we will extract in the next month.

[Mina Kimes]

Okay, I agree fully.

[Danny Heifetz]

Then we'll stay. We'll stay on. We'll stay on this. We'll stay and watch for it. We're gonna. This is gonna be part panda watch. Panda watch. We're gonna have our next episode.

[Danny Kelly]

I think the Saints are gonna suck, by the way.

[Danny Heifetz]

Spencer Rattler 3.

[Mina Kimes]

Game 3.

[Danny Heifetz]

Our next episode is going to be the rest of the lessons we tattooed and also. And yeah, we're all serious about, like, these are actual things we're trying to figure out how to incorporate for next season. So that's going to be part two. But for right now we're going to read a couple emails and then we'll have part two later this week. So we're gonna get the emails. Any other thoughts on any of these? Overall, I think our take is basically when you're I feel like our takeaway from this is don't just go ahead and reach for players you like if they're three rounds early and don't just totally refuse to take Jalen Waddle if he falls two rounds. But if it's it's more than just a tiebreaker between the 50th and 51st player of like, do I want to watch this team? Do I like this player's story? Do, do I hate Are they on the Browns? Like, you know what I mean? Like it's more than just a tiebreaker but not necessarily a reason to like, don't make it your whole personality.

[Mina Kimes]

I feel like this, this was a, this was a feelings episode and the next episode is much more like analytical and, and I guess strategy. There's more strategy with this next batch.

[Danny Kelly]

But this was very much statistically driven analysis.

[Mina Kimes]

This one was like, you know, fantasy is supposed to be fun, you know.

[Danny Heifetz]

So this one's like be emotional.

[Danny Kelly]

It's like don't.

[Danny Heifetz]

And the other one's for the trophy.

[Danny Kelly]

It's like, you know, take guys you like, take guys on good teams. Don't get cute with some player on a shitty team because it's a good value. It's like you're overthinking it. Just take good players that you like that make you happy who are generally on good offenses.

[Danny Heifetz]

It is now time for rules and tips to winning your league. A new segment presented by Yahoo. Fantasy. The best place to play fantasy football this season. Yahoo Fantasy is dropping 28 big new features over 28 days throughout August and they just dropped Yahoo. Fantasy Guillotine Leagues A killer new way to play on Yahoo. Where the lowest scoring team gets eliminated weekly until one is left standing. Give the new Yahoo Fantasy Guillotine leagues a try or stick with the classics in private head to head leagues or public leagues. Whether you are a seasoned pro or a first time player, there are a few things you'll want to know before the season kicks off. So we wanted to go ahead and give our number one draft day rule here for advice when you're out here on your Yahoo Draft. Dk, what is your number one draft day rule for people?

[Mina Kimes]

I think using tiers when you're drafting is a really, really good way to do it basically it gives you an idea of which position to draft at each spot in the draft. If you're getting close to the end of a tier of elite guys at a tight end, you got to grab that tight end before it's like a huge drop off to the next guy, that kind of thing. Same with quarterback. And you can use this for every position. I just think it's a really helpful tool that you use in each, each round to kind of figure out what the best value is in each round.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, I totally agree. I think that is probably the most helpful thing you could do. Even the process of just making them on your own.

[Mina Kimes]

Make the tears. Yeah, I think that's actually really a really helpful way to plan.

[Danny Heifetz]

You learn really quickly where you're like, oh, this is my red line, right? Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

I like printing them out as well, doing it by hand, cross them off.

[Danny Heifetz]

Is that your number one rule, Craig?

[Danny Kelly]

No, my number one rule is if you are drafting in person with your friends, your league mates, try to sabotage the, the environment as best you can.

[Mina Kimes]

One, if you're not cheating, you ain't trying.

[Danny Kelly]

One, don't go to the bathroom, honestly, especially if you're in like an auction draft or something like that. Like treat it like you're about to go on a 10 hour flight. Like prep your body right before going to the bathroom. Could be the difference and you getting a fantastic pick or not. Also, I would say there's always a moment in the draft when everyone's like should we do, should we order food, should we get lunch, dinner? Order the heaviest, most unhealthy gut clogging food you can think of, Pizza, fried chicken, whatever you want, don't eat it. Let everybody. Also food that makes your fingers greasy, it's hard to type. You need to, you really just do the anything you can to get their mind off of the draft.

[Danny Heifetz]

You just order bone in chicken wings and you're just crushing the celery.

[Danny Kelly]

100% that's you're using only a fork.

[Mina Kimes]

Savvy?

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, I would say no food or drink.

[Mina Kimes]

Just lock in just sacavellian.

[Danny Heifetz]

That's good.

[Danny Kelly]

Smelling salts and those two bring smelling.

[Mina Kimes]

Salts for every round.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah. My number one pick, my number one thing of advice is just have a plan. Like if you're picking 10th in a 12 team league, figure out your first pick ahead of time. Like just rank the 10 players and you're like, who should you take? And if you're between people, go to the next round. You're like, who are the receivers? That would be available with the running backs. If I take Derek Henry with the 10th pick. Well, I wish that the four, you know, when it comes back around you like your 14th pick, who is it? Because then you can, you can in that situation, actually your first three picks, you can actually kind of figure out your first one for sure. And then really your first three picks where it's like if you have the first pick one and then back to back two and three, like you could really figure out who am I going to end up with? And then you're like, okay, well, based on this, who's my quarterback going to be? Do I want an elite quarterback? I listen to the. If it's like he, I want one of the four quarterbacks. All right, cool. How are you going to get them? And if you don't, where are you going next? Do you want Joe Burrow with the next pick or do you want to wait like 100 spots? If you don't get one of the top 30 guy or top four guys, like, just know that in advance. Have a plan. Where are you getting your smelling salts from? How are you going to order all this greasy food to the draft? How am I going to sabotage my league mates? Like, you can't just show up and expect to sabotage people. You have to have a plan.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. Also do mock drafts. You could do this on Yahoo. I mean, if you know what your pick is going to be, do a bunch of mock drafts. It will give you a good idea of what is possible.

[Danny Heifetz]

There you go. Bring smelling salts to the mock drafts. Stay tuned for more killer announcements and start playing Yahoo. Fantasy football at yahoo. Fantasy.com/the ringer.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Okay, this episode is brought to you by Nordstrom. Summer's almost out and fall's calling. Luckily, Nordstrom has everything you need for the season ahead, all under $100. Discover new arrivals from your favorite brands like Mango, Princess Polly, Waif, Free people, BDG and more. Whether you're planning a last minute getaway, heading back to class, or refreshing your office looks, you'll find the latest trends and beauty must haves without breaking your budget. It's easy too. With free shipping, free returns and in store order pickup. Shop today in stores [e-mail].

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh, could I go to the.

[Danny Kelly]

If you're thirsting for no, we aren't there yet. Kids won't stop crying. We brought snacks, but they wanted other snacks. Stop pulling each other's hair. And we made it 14 minutes with no screams.

[Danny Heifetz]

Level refreshment. We definitely have that. Swing by Circle K and get a.

[Danny Kelly]

Polar pop for just 79 cents only.

[Danny Heifetz]

For inner Circle members.

[Danny Kelly]

When you're feeling the heat, Circle K makes your day.

[Danny Heifetz]

Let's do a couple emails and get out of here.

[Mina Kimes]

Emails.

[Danny Heifetz]

This one's from Rich.

[Danny Kelly]

Richie. Has anybody seen Richie?

[Danny Heifetz]

What's up, Dick? This. This is a Barbone Arbonne. This is a follow up to the Zoo Conspiracy. We got an unbelievable email from Andrew about a zoo in New Jersey that claims to have a black bear. And Andrew's like, there's no bear that.

[Mina Kimes]

Claims to have a.

[Danny Heifetz]

Claims.

[Danny Kelly]

So pointed, so leading.

[Mina Kimes]

They claim to have a bear. This zoo claims to have an animal in there.

[Danny Heifetz]

So Richie mild in. I've been a devoted listener to the podcast for years, but I have never thought to write in an email for a mailbag before. Until I heard about the Turtle Back Zoo conspiracy theory from Andrew on the Receivers podcast.

[Mina Kimes]

It inspired him.

[Danny Heifetz]

Rich writes, my wife and I have three young boys, and we happen to have been to the Turtle Back zoo no less than 100 times. A hundred times between the three kids combined.

[Mina Kimes]

That's good.

[Danny Heifetz]

He says, my kids have done camp there. We've had multiple birthday parties there. They've done the holiday party there. Yeah. He's like, yeah, they birthed the zoo and the vet. Stop. He's like, you get the idea. We go to the zoo a lot.

[Mina Kimes]

They're huge fans of the zoo.

[Danny Heifetz]

Huge fan. Zoo. So, Rich says, after your podcast, I approached each of my boys independently to make sure that they would not influence each other's stories.

[Mina Kimes]

Great.

[Danny Heifetz]

Like a good detective.

[Mina Kimes]

Yeah. Right. I separate all the witnesses. Right.

[Danny Heifetz]

I asked them if they have seen Jelly the bear recently. Rich says, again, between them, we were talking about 100 visits to the zoo between the three of these kids. My oldest son, 9, is the most reliable narrator, said he has not seen this bear in two or three years.

[Mina Kimes]

Wow.

[Danny Heifetz]

My middle son, who's six and has probably been to the zoo more than anyone who does not work at the zoo, said he could not remember ever seeing the bear.

[Danny Kelly]

We're uncovering something big.

[Danny Heifetz]

This is potentially big.

[Danny Kelly]

You guys are kind of the Woodward and Bernstein of 2025.

[Danny Heifetz]

Woodward. Embarrassing. Deep throat.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

My youngest son, who's 4, says without missing a beat, I haven't seen the bear. I think he's dead or something.

[Mina Kimes]

I think he's dead or something.

[Danny Heifetz]

We have reached out to friends and neighbors who we know go to the zoo, and they also say they have not seen the bear in at least a year. I have told people, Andrew's theory. Everyone thinks he's right. This is a cover up. This is no longer conspiracy theory. It's just a theory. You guys have to go visit the zoo and uncover what happened to Jelly.

[Mina Kimes]

My God. This is the funniest.

[Danny Heifetz]

That's amazing.

[Danny Kelly]

I want to go and get like. Get somebody on the record. Film like film an interview.

[Danny Heifetz]

Should we like make a doc bring a crew?

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, we should.

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh my God.

[Mina Kimes]

Jelly.

[Danny Heifetz]

Jelly.

[Mina Kimes]

I like that. The bear's name is Jelly.

[Danny Heifetz]

So just to be clear, we think Jelly escaped from the zoo, got into the park and then the bear may have attacked a woman. And the police killed the bear and they're like. It was like, we got to pretend.

[Mina Kimes]

This bear is still here.

[Danny Heifetz]

No. Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Why wouldn't they pull a jinxy cat from Meet the Parents and get a different bear?

[Mina Kimes]

All a jinxy cat question.

[Danny Heifetz]

Because where do you get a bear?

[Danny Kelly]

I don't think it's easy.

[Mina Kimes]

Not that easy to get an old bear.

[Danny Heifetz]

Craig.

[Danny Kelly]

What are you talking about? How do zoos get bears? I don't know.

[Danny Heifetz]

I think they have like exchange programs. Like. Like the pandas in the D.C. zoo. It's like an actual first of all the pandas go. It's like China and American exchange program for the bears. The bears have their own FedEx trucks for the pandas. Like they. They have a whole trucks that transport these pandas back and forth to China.

[Danny Kelly]

And planes, I would imagine planes.

[Danny Heifetz]

But no, I'm saying like FedEx don't. Yes, that too. But they donated trucks that have panda logos on them and they're just for the fucking pandas. And it's like you. I've seen the Pandas driving around D.C. in the Little panda truck.

[Danny Kelly]

There's a. That's a movie of a guy who drives pandas around. That would. That would have been like dumb and dumber too is like them driving a panda around. But. Well, yeah, I feel like they should.

[Mina Kimes]

Just get a new happened in Borat.

[Danny Heifetz]

So we should. Oh, yeah, right. That makes sense.

[Danny Kelly]

Get a new bear.

[Danny Heifetz]

So Essex. So here's the thing. Do you think it's not that easy.

[Mina Kimes]

To just get a bear?

[Danny Kelly]

It'd be really funny if they had a guy in a bear suit like poke his head out.

[Mina Kimes]

Super troopers.

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh my. Is the guy Candy bars bear. We got to go to this zoo. But yeah, we. We. There you go.

[Mina Kimes]

Is the area around New Jersey? I don't. I don't. I'm not familiar with New Jersey wildlife other than the. The devil, apparently. Is there bears in that area?

[Danny Heifetz]

There are black bears. Yeah.

[Mina Kimes]

Okay.

[Danny Heifetz]

It's not like as much as other parts.

[Mina Kimes]

Like, is this a weird thing that there was a bear? Okay.

[Danny Heifetz]

They exist, but it's not like as much as other places, I guess is the way to say it. Like. Like they're around. I just googled black bears. Do they exist instead of, like, in New Jersey?

[Mina Kimes]

And so do they.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yes, bears exist. Thanks. Google Gemini.

[Mina Kimes]

Okay, this is great.

[Danny Heifetz]

One other email. Just wanted to read. This is from. Oh, I actually lost the person who is from, but I'm gonna pull it up right now. This is from Michael.

[Danny Kelly]

Mikey.

[Danny Heifetz]

Mickey.

[Mina Kimes]

What's up?

[Danny Heifetz]

Mikey writes, bowl of frosted Mini Wheats and a nice coffee for breakfast.

[Danny Kelly]

Can I just say I frosted. Anyway, I love the breakfast thing.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, yeah. If you email us. Lead with the lead with what you eat for breakfast. We really want.

[Danny Kelly]

We won't read your email unless you tell us what you had for breakfast.

[Mina Kimes]

This guy frosted mini weights. Also not out of his 20s. Right.

[Danny Heifetz]

I gotta say, I realized way more people eat cereal for breakfast than I thought.

[Mina Kimes]

I used to mix frosted mini wheats with honey bunches of oats. Look it up. It's really good. Try that shit. And now I can't because it's like, look what up?

[Danny Heifetz]

What the fuck am I looking at?

[Danny Kelly]

I meant.

[Mina Kimes]

I meant like, try.

[Danny Heifetz]

Try it. Okay.

[Danny Kelly]

It was really funny.

[Danny Heifetz]

I looked it up in a book.

[Mina Kimes]

Look what up, Craig? There's a whole Reddit on it. I don't know.

[Danny Heifetz]

All right, so frosted me waits, iced coffee for breakfast. And Michael writes, I was going to say I eat pieces of shit for breakfast, but I couldn't because I'm sad that. I'm sad that Craig hated Happy Gilmore, too. Craig has lived long enough to become the villain. Craig is like an old Roger Ebert who gave stepbrothers one and a half stars, had to look it up. Gave the same rating to the original Happy Gilmore. Craig.

[Danny Kelly]

That's it. Well, there's more, but Roger Eber, historically has terrible at comedies. Like, he's never. He's never gotten comedies. He's not a good comedy reviewer. So he was also, like, I think like 70 years old, had cancer when he was probably reviewing Step Brothers.

[Danny Heifetz]

I think the point is he's saying that you've lived long enough to become the villain by hitting Happy Gilmore, too.

[Mina Kimes]

Craig has an established track record of liking good comedies.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. What are we talking about? I love, like, all of the famous comedies. I.

[Mina Kimes]

I do get what he's saying, though, that you're just Yucking his yum. You know what? That's what critics do. You got to have a take.

[Danny Kelly]

Right, Sean? That's what Sean said. You got to have a take.

[Mina Kimes]

Have a take. That's all I ask. Heifets had a take, even though it was just classic high fits.

[Danny Heifetz]

My take is it was a bad movie and I laughed. I laughed at the bad movie. I don't know what I'm supposed to say. My biggest complaint about my bodily.

[Mina Kimes]

Did Jackie like it? Did you watch it with Jackie?

[Danny Heifetz]

No, she didn't watch it.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. That's because Jackie has taste. My biggest complaint is about the discourse. My biggest complaint about the discourse is, is that I was entertained. What's the big deal? Like, to me, that is such a low bar anyway.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, it's. It's. But. But isn't that the case for all?

[Mina Kimes]

Like, I feel I. I think Craig's the best part of Craig's take, and obviously I agree with him. So I'm a little bit biased here. But I think the part of your take that I. That really resonated the most was, I think you said, it's not even a movie. Like, it's not a movie. It's just a fucking, like, Christmas special where they invite a bunch of cameos over and they fucking hang out for a while. And that's it.

[Danny Heifetz]

There's no, like, Happy Adam Sandler doesn't.

[Danny Kelly]

Really do anything funny on what's considered acceptable, I think.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, but is that different? I don't know. Like. Yeah, like. But also.

[Mina Kimes]

Used to be, you can make a movie.

[Danny Kelly]

You can make Happy Gilmore, too, to be fan service. I get it. That's what sequels are. It's fan service. People love the characters. You want to bring them back. But, like, try and make it a movie. Make it a real movie and make it good. Don't just make it the bare minimum. That's my whole point.

[Mina Kimes]

Don't just mix random celebrities together into a scene and then expect it to be something.

[Danny Heifetz]

I guess. I guess. All right, this is.

[Danny Kelly]

We don't need.

[Danny Heifetz]

We.

[Danny Kelly]

We've talked about Happy Gilmore enough. Yeah. Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

Okay.

[Mina Kimes]

What's the next thing that Craig is going to hate?

[Danny Kelly]

Happy Gilmore 3.

[Danny Heifetz]

All right. Can I say one last thing about Happy Gilmore?

[Mina Kimes]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

No one wants to criticize Adam Sandler for it.

[Danny Kelly]

Of course no one wants.

[Danny Heifetz]

Except a nice guy. Yeah, I know. Just. No one. It just. It's almost like. It's like it's your fault for liking it. And I'm like, okay. But I feel like the criticism is Adam Sandler had 30 years to come up with a sequel, and he's like, I don't really have any good ideas, but I'll take a hundred million dollars.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. I mean, I completely agree. It's disappointing. Everybody loves Adam Sandler. Everybody in Hollywood loves Adam Sandler. I love Adam Sandler. That's why it hurt even more, because I love him and I think he's great. And so many of his movies meant so much to me and I thought were really smart and funny. I mean, the track record of his movies over the last 10, 15 years have definitely changed. I mean, he basically makes, like, movies for kids now and for families on Netflix and stuff like that, which, again, is totally fine. But that's why it was disappointing is because of the expectation of. Of this person who had such a strong approval rating going into this. If this was a random movie, I wouldn't feel it strongly. If it was made by some random person, I wouldn't care as much.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah.

[Mina Kimes]

You know, really cutting to the core of it. Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

I left a Scottish Scheffler being in jail. That was funny.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. I mean, that's fine. That can be like. That's. Sure.

[Danny Heifetz]

It's a funny, bad movie, though.

[Danny Kelly]

I wish Scotty Scheffler was, like, a character in the movie and not in it for nine seconds.

[Danny Heifetz]

The. Yeah, okay. Yeah. You know what? Honestly, we could probably have written a better movie. Should we just make a new one?

[Mina Kimes]

Make our own version of.

[Danny Kelly]

It's called Happy Gilmore 2. The Mulligan.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah.

[Mina Kimes]

Oh, that's not bad.

[Danny Heifetz]

Breakfast ball. Michael. Oh, what's for breakfast? There's something there. The other part of Michael Zima I wanted to read is. I'm sure you guys heard New little freaks are on the way. The Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Oreos and also Oreo Cookie. Reese's Cups are coming in addition to the Selena Gomez Oreos we didn't eat yet.

[Mina Kimes]

How the hell is Oreo Cookie Reese's Cups?

[Danny Kelly]

How the is this. That never happened before?

[Danny Heifetz]

I know. It's. It's. They each tried a thousand things before they did that.

[Mina Kimes]

I know those Oreos and Reese's are like on my Mount Rushmore of Craig.

[Danny Heifetz]

What's the biggest movie pairing that hasn't happened? You have two big actors who you're like, how have they never made it? Like, Denzel and De Niro or something where you're like, how is. They've never made a movie before. Denzel and Scorsese. Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Denzel and Dinero is a good one.

[Mina Kimes]

I don't know. Leo and Cruz.

[Danny Kelly]

Leo and Cruz. Have they been in a movie together?

[Danny Heifetz]

This is what that feels like. I don't know. Yeah, Bill would. Bill would have an idea of who these actors are.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, it's like Deadpool and Wolverine, you know? It finally happened. We've all been waiting.

[Mina Kimes]

Someone two months ago asked, why have Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Cruise not made a movie movie together?

[Danny Heifetz]

I don't know.

[Danny Kelly]

Probably because they both want to be the star of the movie.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, right. And I will just shout out Michael for reminding me to follow up on the guy who said they'd name a street Gwanji. We were gonna. From Smallfoot. And I'm gonna. Oh, yeah, we have a lot of.

[Mina Kimes]

Things we need to follow up.

[Danny Heifetz]

That guy's email. If the guy was like, you know developers, when they make a big housing thing, they'll name streets, whatever. And we were gonna try to.

[Danny Kelly]

Was it in Washington?

[Danny Heifetz]

I don't remember where it was, but.

[Mina Kimes]

By the way, this reminds me. This reminds me. No context. Ringer Fantasy football account. The guy who runs that really, really wants you to follow up on the story about the classroom that was next to another classroom, which I so rudely interrupted you and. And made fun of you for saying that, like.

[Danny Heifetz]

No, because it's not a funny enough story to, like, it's been a month and it will be so difficult.

[Danny Kelly]

You refused.

[Danny Heifetz]

No, I'm never gonna tell you. I'm never gonna tell a story because it's not a funny enough story to like. It's not worthy of the building. There's no way it'll deliver.

[Mina Kimes]

It's just a thing that's like the. The Mitch Hedberg joke where he's like, I hate when I. I was like a mumbling or something. I hate when people ask me what. Because then I'm just, like, screaming at them, that tree is far away.

[Danny Heifetz]

The tree's far away. All right. Thank you, dk. Thank you, Craig. Thank you for listening. Thank you, Kai. Thank you, Carlos. Thank you, Ronick. Thank you, Austin. Thank you, everyone, for listening. Email us at ringing fancy [e-mail]. our rankings are fantasy football football.theringer.com we have a draft tracker there. Follow us in Instagram. Tik, Tok, YouTube, Ringer Fantasy Football. Look it up there. Thank you, Lord.

[Danny Kelly]

Lord.

[Mina Kimes]

Thank you, the Clash.

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh, and we do have next episode coming out. Part two. Clash is great.

[Mina Kimes]

The Clash.

[Danny Heifetz]

The Clash is a band. I think I. I kind of want to go back and actually listen to, like, everything they've done. I feel like I know a little about them, but I would like to. I would like to actually. Like. They're on my short list of bands. I want to just actually here.

[Mina Kimes]

Did you know that they did the. They actually had the original song for the. You know, the MIA song that got really popular with. Oh, is that them paper planes that.

[Danny Kelly]

Wow.

[Mina Kimes]

Actually had the original for that. Straight to hell. Go look that up.

[Danny Kelly]

Wow, that's cool.

[Mina Kimes]

Which I. I thought was like, common knowledge, I guess, but a lot of those are not as well known as you think.

[Danny Heifetz]

I think Craig's Generation and I are starting to have the songs where the don't know that it's a sample. Like the. Yeah, yeah. Like when DOI does anxiety and it's just the gotye. Somebody I used to. I know it's not got. I don't know. G. Yeah. And then that's also a sample. And like. No. What? Each three generations didn't know that you previous one was a sample.

[Mina Kimes]

Yeah, I guess I shouldn't. I shouldn't be totally certain that the Clash didn't sample that either, but I think they're the original ones that did that. But. But yeah, they. They have some great hits, man.

[Danny Kelly]

They so many creative. Yeah. Train in Vain is an elite song.

[Mina Kimes]

The other one I saw. I might have mentioned this on the show before, but I saw Heifetz in real time realize that Regulators was a Michael McDonald song.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Mina Kimes]

Because we are watching the yacht rock. The yacht rock, Doc, which is great, by the way.

[Danny Heifetz]

That blew my mind. And I was like, oh, my God, Michael McDonald goat. That blew my mind.

[Danny Kelly]

I don't think I knew that either until I watched that dog, Warren G.

[Danny Heifetz]

And also what's funny too, is that that became the thing for Fight Night. Right?

[Mina Kimes]

You.

[Danny Kelly]

I don't know.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yes. Migos. Fight Night is. Warren G had to regulate. So Michael McDonald is the source material for Migos? No, I was unaware of this.

[Mina Kimes]

I didn't know that. I don't know what that is. I love. I love finding, like, old. I. I do. I go and, like, search for, like, samples and stuff. I think it's really cool.

[Danny Heifetz]

That's a. Go to email serenefantasy football gmail.com like, unexpected samples, like a source material. There's also a separate thing, which is sometimes the song they're sampling is like. You're like, how did you hear that? And like, that is the original thing of, like, being a genius or whatever. It's just like sometimes you hear what producers make and what they hear and what they interpolate it and turn it into. And you're like, I actually interpolate. Never. Isn't that the word interpolate?

[Mina Kimes]

I don't know.

[Danny Kelly]

I think it is interpret.

[Danny Heifetz]

No, it's not interpret the word. It's a word for that process of music. It's called.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. Interpolating a sample.

[Mina Kimes]

No, it's made that up. That's good.

[Danny Heifetz]

No, I. I definitely did not make up High Fitz.

[Mina Kimes]

We can make his playlist. Remember how we made the Crescendo playlist?

[Danny Heifetz]

Oh, yeah. Oh, it's playlist with the samples back. Someone's already done.

[Mina Kimes]

I. I already have us. It started so we. I can share some with you.

[Danny Kelly]

There's a really cool sample. I forget who they used, but One More Time by Daft Punk that like. Yeah, that melody is like, a really interesting sample from an old song that I saw some old video, but it's really interesting. That's a good one.

[Danny Heifetz]

There's a good New York Times article about making Sicko Mode with Travis Scott because it's like, about how samples work. Because I think at the time, the Travis Scott. The Sicko Mode, because, you know, it's like he made three songs into one song. Or he has a Drake sample that he. Or Drake verse. He's like half of it. And he took, like, two songs and made it one. And I think it had the most writing credits. I think Sickle Mode actually might still have the most writing credits of any song that's ever been made that was, like, popular. And the New York Times had this breakdown of, like, how writing credits work now because it's crazy complicated.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. Beyonce just has, like, a resilience for herself.

[Mina Kimes]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifetz]

But also because now it's all building on each other. And now it's like, oh, it's like you want to use this like. Like, Like Sicko Mode uses, like, Give me the loop by Biggie, but that uses, like, three songs.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. It's like exponential.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yes.

[Danny Kelly]

Nesting dolls.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah, it's like. It is. Honestly. That is sample nesting dolls. Exactly. Emails that ringer. Fancy football. Gmail.com example of sample nesting dolls. I kind of want to hear that.

[Mina Kimes]

I like that stuff.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yeah. All right.

[Danny Kelly]

A good example. Mariah Carey's fantasy.

[Danny Heifetz]

Yes. Boom. Excellent. Yeah, Excellent call.

[Danny Kelly]

Which is. We are still trying to license Mariah. If you are listening.

[Danny Heifetz]

If anyone knows Mariah, we would love it.

[Danny Kelly]

For all us, a very affordable price.

[Danny Heifetz]

Boom.

[Danny Kelly]

You have enough money? Come on. That's your pitch. Yeah, it is going with that, huh?

[Danny Heifetz]

Come on. Goodbye, everyone. But especially Mariah. Must be 21 plus in present in select states for Kansas in affiliation with Kansas Star Casino or 18 + in present in D.C. kentucky or Wyoming. Gambling problem call 1-800- gambler or visit rg-help.com, call 1-888-789-7777, or visit ccpg.org chat in Connecticut or visit mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland. Hope is here. Visit gamblinghelplinema.org or call 800-327-5050 for 24. 7 support in Massachusetts or call 1-877-8-HOPENY or text HOPENY in New York.