Season-on-the-Line Week 14 Waivers

Summary

The Ringer Fantasy Football Show: "Season-on-the-Line Week 14 Waivers" (Dec 2, 2025)

Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, Craig Horlbeck
Episode Focus: Essential Week 14 fantasy football waiver wire picks for season-on-the-line matchups, with deep discussion, notable trivia, and classic Ringer banter.

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Episode Overview

This episode centers on must-add waiver wire targets for Week 14—the final week of the fantasy football regular season—in a make-or-break stretch for fantasy managers. The hosts break down running backs, wide receivers, tight ends, streaming QBs, defenses, and playoff stashes, offering sharp analysis and plenty of signature Ringer humor. Trivia, movie tangents, and animal stories round out the show’s relaxed, accessible tone.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Running Backs: Week 14 Priority Adds

• Top Pick: Chris Rodriguez (Commanders)
  • Craig: “He is a starting running back that is still available on the majority of waivers right now…he runs really hard. He’s basically just go forward and hit people very hard and hopefully get into the end zone.” [03:57]
  • DK: “I don’t think Chris Rodriguez is that good…they’re playing Minnesota who is tricky defensively…but if you’re gonna go for guys who you know will probably touch the ball 10+ times, I guess it’s probably Chris Rodriguez.” [04:26-05:12]
  • Heifetz: “If my entire season came down to it, I’d probably play Chris Rodriguez. However…the fact that Kyren Williams has an ankle injury, part of me does want to just add Blake Corum…” [05:34]
• Blake Corum (Rams)
  • High-upside handcuff if Kyren Williams misses time. Strong playoff stash over Rodriguez if you've already clinched the postseason.
  • DK: “If Kyren Williams misses time, Corum is an honest winner.” [09:59]
• Other RBs:
  • Bam Knight (Cardinals) — Volume if Benson/DeMercado remain out. [10:23]
  • Devin Neal (Saints) — Deep-league play for Week 14. [10:53]
  • Stash Candidates/Long-Term:
    • Keaton Mitchell (Ravens), Kamani Vidal (Falcons), Ray Davis (Bills). [11:34-12:50]
• Reaction to Injury News:
  • Heifetz (after recording): “If Tyrone Tracy is out for an extended period…we would definitely, definitely advise adding Devin Singletary.” [12:52]

2. Wide Receivers: Week 14 Priorities & Stashes

• Week 14 Plug-In Options:
  • Jaden Higgins (Texans): Consistent targets, stable floor. [13:40]
  • AD Mitchell (Jets): High-volume, big-play upside (wildly volatile). [14:25-15:25]
    • Heifetz: “They’ve made a decision. When they traded for Mitchell, they’re gonna see if he’s that guy…he gets open.” [15:44]
  • Dontayvion Wicks (Packers):
    • DK: “I’m betting on Jordan Love and Matt LaFleur vs. Tyler Shuck throwing to Devon Vale.” [19:53]
  • Devon Vale (Saints): Galaxy-brain play, emerging as Saints’ No. 2 WR.
  • Isaac Teszla (Lions): Big-play ability if Amon-Ra St. Brown sits; risky. [20:46]
• Stash Options:
  • Jaden Reed (Packers): If healthy, “man among boys.”
  • Mike Evans (Buccaneers): IR stash.
  • Jalen Coker (Panthers): Good player, on bye this week.
  • Heifetz: “Just add Jalen Coker if you need a receiver, I think he’s just better.” [23:52]

3. Tight Ends: Waiver Options

• Top Add: Brenton Strange (Jaguars)
  • Craig (making a pun): “Go out there and get some Strange…Strange refers to ass, or in general just women.” [25:04 & 25:22]
  • DK/Heifetz agree due to role/volume, especially with injuries to Jags’ receivers. [26:13]
• Other Considerations:
  • Darren Waller (Dolphins): “All he does is score touchdowns. Miami is the pass-it-to-the-Italians offense, and I think Darren Waller is an honorary Italian.” [31:33]
  • Isaiah Likely (Ravens): “95 yards last week, should have had a touchdown…” [32:52]
  • AJ Barner (Seahawks): 10-catch game recently; deeper leagues. [33:33]

4. Quarterbacks: Streamers for Week 14

• Preferred: Trevor Lawrence (Jaguars)
  • Mobility and upside if available. [44:52]
• Backup Plans:
  • Trey Lance (Chargers): Insurance if Herbert can’t go, “can totally get you…an ugly 16 points.” [45:09]
  • Tyrod Taylor (Jets): “He ran for 40+ yards and a touchdown…He is faster than most NFL quarterbacks.” [45:25]
• Heifetz on Herbert’s injury: “I think Jim Harbaugh would rather change the entire offense to have Justin Herbert play than try to have Trey Lance play.” [45:52]

5. Defenses: Week 14 and Playoff Stashes

• This Week:
  • Browns vs. Titans: “Opportunity of a lifetime. Miles Garrett…could break the sack record.” [46:54]
  • Eagles vs. Chargers: If facing Trey Lance. [47:04]
  • Colts vs. Jaguars: “Trevor Lawrence can do great for fantasy but still throw a pick six.” [47:12]
• Playoff-Ready Stashes (Weeks 15-17):
  • 49ers (vs. Titans), Eagles (vs. Raiders), Cowboys (vs. Vikings), Bears (vs. Browns), Chiefs (vs. Titans), Steelers (vs. Browns).
  • Heifetz: “I would just spam and target all the guys that are playing this team (Browns with Shador Sanders, Cam Ward, JJ McCarthy).” [48:29]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

Fantasy Analysis & Fun Banter

• Craig (joking about insurance): “Is this why they charge so much for like 21-year-olds to get car insurance—’cause they drive like Jackson Dart runs?” [00:57]
• DK (lamenting RB waivers): “I’m nervous for whoever gets last in this trivia because there’s no good options after these two.” [06:33]
• Heifetz (on unpredictable playoffs heroes): “These are the people that decide your title sometimes. Every now and then, Jerick McKinnon, people like that…” [11:35]
• DK (on picking a Jets receiver): “If I go down, not betting on the Jets, I’m okay with that.” [14:25]
• Trivial revelation: “I feel so stupid thinking they were going to win this game.” [31:48]

Weekly Trivia Showdown

• [07:30] Showdown Time: Rebranded segment (via listener email) for trivia tiebreakers: “It’s the Chris Rodriguez showdown time.”

• [08:40] Elementary math trivia: “How many times did my class say 6, 7 today?”

  • Heifetz: 48, Craig: 41, DK: 23. The answer? 72.
  • DK: “Get out of here. What is happening to the generation below us?” [08:44]

• [17:22] "Ted" Movie Names Trivia: “How many white trash names did Mark Wahlberg say?”

  • Answer: 45.
  • DK (after winning): “I needed that.” [18:29]

• [29:23] Alaska Sun Trivia: “In Utqiaġvik, AK, sun downed Nov 18—when does it return?”

  • Answer: Jan 22 (65 days of darkness).

Offbeat Tangents & Memorable Exchanges

• Stock Market Joke:
  • Craig: “I just went to the stock market and I picked up some stocks.” [24:27]
• Necklace/Lace etymology confusion, earring epiphany:
  • Heifetz: “It’s his earring. Oh my god, that’s why they call it that. Earrings.” [27:35]
• Pet Hyena, Teddy Roosevelt:
  • “Teddy Roosevelt's hyena was named Bill.” [52:54]
• Pet raccoon and animal stories:
  • Craig: “Squirrels too, these days…city squirrels, they don’t give a shit.” [60:51]
  • DK (wild raccoon chase in-laws story): “We woke up in the morning and there were raccoon and cat prints all over the house…” [62:16]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:49] RB Top Waiver Picks
• [13:29] WR Waiver Breakdown
• [24:44] Tight End Discussion
• [44:52] Quarterback Streamers
• [46:54] Defense Streamers and Playoff Stashes
• [07:30, 17:22, 29:23, 52:54] Trivia Segments
• [12:52] Post-recording RB injury update (Devin Singletary/Tyrone Tracy)
• [51:21-54:07] Teddy Roosevelt’s wild animal menagerie
• [62:16] Pet raccoon story

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Final Takeaway

The hosts blend in-depth, actionable fantasy advice with unique trivia, running jokes, and wild off-topic stories. For Week 14, focus your waivers on Chris Rodriguez (RB), Blake Corum (RB, stash), Jayden Higgins and AD Mitchell (WRs), Brenton Strange (TE), and stream the Browns, Eagles, and Colts DSTs—or stash defenses and high-upside RBs if playoffs await. And if all else fails, make sure your bench looks good and stock up on some “strange.”

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For trivia questions, animal encounters, or general fantasy pain, email [e-mail].

Transcript

[Craig]

Foreign.

[Danny Kelly]

Welcome to the Ringer Fantasy Football show. My name is Dan Heaven and I'm joined by Danny Kelly and Kirk Kobeck and today we are going over all the must add players after Week 13 entry Week 14 of the NFL season aka the last week of the fantasy football regular season. So we're going to help you adds a bunch of players because you're either need to win this week to make the playoffs, hopefully already clinched the playoffs or already eliminated from the playoffs in which case we're super sorry and we will we kind of just owe you in general. So we're sorry about that. We are recording this in the Monday night the beginning of this Monday night football game. Jackson Dirt already has just been absolutely rocked and launched into the sideline and.

[DK]

Guess they got a fire Kafka now.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah DK do you think this is why they charge so much for like 21 year olds to get car insurance is because they drive like Jackson dart runs 100% 100%.

[Craig]

You just think you're going to live forever when you're that age. You know what I mean? He needs to learn how to protect himself. Clearly does not know how quiet Trayvon.

[DK]

Henderson one his one play per quarter is happening right now. I have to see if he gets the ball. Oh he didn't.

[Craig]

Cool, cool, cool.

[Danny Kelly]

Remind you got all those carries though. We're going to go through all these players who go through trivia and all that and more. But first we're going to take a quick break. This episode is presented by Chime Bank Smarter. This season, fantasy football is all about strategy. Well, here's a winning strategy for your money trade Banking fees for fee free banking 1.5% cash back getting paid when you say in a higher APY in your savings, that's a lineup that wins. Stop banking the old way. Bank Smarter through Chime Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services and the secured Chime Visa credit card provided by the Bancorp Bank NA or Stride Bank NA members FDIC optional services and products may have fees or charges [e-mail] fees info with a qualifying direct deposit earn 1.5% cash back on eligible secured Chime Visa credit card purchases. APY means annual percentage yield. Learn [e-mail] this episode is brought to you by United Airlines Flying just got easier with the United Airlines app. Get real time flight updates like a live countdown clock to boarding even if your screen's locked as well as play by play directions through the airport with a personalized map. And if you want to make a game time decision and go home early or stay longer. There are no fees to change your flight. Get the united [e-mail] app no fees to change your flight Excludes basic economy applies to flights originating in the US Fare difference may apply all right, let's get to waivers here. Here's how it works. We're gonna go position by position. We're just gonna give our top pick at that position that we would have waivers and if we have the same guy, we'll do trivia tiebreaker so that we can figure out that guy and who goes where. Not that complicated. You'll figure it out as we go. Email [e-mail] for trivia questions. Make sure it's a number so we can do closest to the pin. Although a couple people had creative questions recently that I'm thinking about buys this week. Giants, Patriots, Niners and Panthers. So that is just, you know, the two teams on this Monday football the two teams from last week Monday to football. McAffrey Kittle, Juwan Jennings, Purdy Dart, everyone. So without further ado, DK yo number one player you would add off of waivers at running back for Week 14 if your season was on the line.

[Craig]

Oh God. Well that sounds terrible for this particular player, but I'm going with Chris Rodriguez for the Commanders who is.

[DK]

No, no way.

[Craig]

He is their starter. He's. He is a starting running back that is still available on the majority of waivers right now. This last game he had 11 carries for 41 yards and a touchdown. He runs really hard. He's basically just go forward and hit people very hard and hopefully get into the end zone. So I think I would still go with Chris Rodriguez. The options aren't great this week and you can also add a couple of high upside handcuff type running backs. But if I had to plug someone into my lineup it would be Chris Rodriguez.

[DK]

Yeah, look, I kid I I would think about other guy. I don't think Chris Rodriguez is that good and they're and more importantly they're playing Minnesota who is tricky defensively. Although Chris Rodriguez I guess against Denver was not terrible, I would probably end up going with Chris Rodriguez too. I was thinking about like Blake Corum against the Cardinals, but the kind of amount of touches he gets is not super predictable. Kyren Williams did leave the game briefly with an ankle injury and then Blake Corum scored but then Kyron Williams came back and played the rest of the game. So if you're going to go for guys who you know will probably touch the ball 10 plus times, I guess it's probably Chris Rodriguez. Do you agree with that? If it's. And I think Blake Corum is so much better. They're on a good offense. They're playing the Cardinals. They can kill them. Blake Corum could get touches. Maybe I'm talking myself into Blake Corum.

[Craig]

You could argue that Blake Corum should be rostered more urgently than Chris Rodriguez, but if you're trying to plug someone into your lineup, that's where this kind of gets.

[DK]

Is the upside really that different? I guess it is. I guess. I guess Rodriguez, if you look, Kyron.

[Craig]

Gets hurt, Corum is going to go off.

[DK]

I think it is Rodriguez. I think it is a close. It's close, but it's Rodriguez.

[Danny Kelly]

If you need to win this week, Chris Rodriguez has more upside because there's a chance that Chris Rodriguez gets double or maybe three times the touches that Blake Corum does. That's possible. So if my entire like season came down to it, I probably pre Chris play Chris Rodriguez. However, the fact that Kyron Williams is an ankle injury, part of me does want to just add Blake Corum because the Rams are just such a good offense. Even in the Carolina game, the defense kind of blew it. Stafford turn it over. But I mean the Rams were just carving up the Panthers offense. So I still kind of want to just pick Blake Corum to be honest. But I will say they both are pretty solid for the playoffs. Corum, just because Kyren Williams is banged up. Washington has a pretty decent schedule for the fantasy playoffs. Washington plays after this Vikings with great run D. They played the Giants the Eagles in Dallas and I know Dallas is better run D now with Quinn and Williams, but I Chris Rodriguez, both these guys should be rostered and can be weird players who help your team in the playoffs, but I think these are the two clear guys.

[DK]

I agree. We. I'm nervous for whoever gets last in this trivia because there's no good options after these two.

[Craig]

So who are we doing then? Rodriguez, I guess.

[DK]

I think we do Rodriguez, right?

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, I think it's Rodriguez.

[DK]

All right. And just for an update on everybody on the trivia, Heifetz is in first with 14. I'm in second with 11. Danny Kelly in coming up the rear with nine.

[Craig]

Brutal.

[DK]

Still in contention.

[Craig]

Brutal for your boy.

[DK]

Yeah, it's all right though.

[Danny Kelly]

We're.

[DK]

You're going to bounce back right now with the who are we doing the Chris Rodriguez showdown time.

[Craig]

O wait, we forgot to do the. The Other way. Remember?

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, yeah. Do it one more time, and then Isaiah can play this.

[DK]

Isaiah, we change before showdown time. In. It plays better. Ready?

[Danny Kelly]

We change this.

[DK]

It is the Chris Rodriguez showdown time.

[Danny Kelly]

It does hit better. That is better than wave.

[DK]

Forget who emailed us that that idea, but thank you.

[Danny Kelly]

That's pretty great. Okay, this is from this trivia question is from Nick.

[Craig]

Nick, Nicky, Nick, Bone.

[Danny Kelly]

Nick wrote, Nick writes, I am a teacher. My question is, how many times did I hear 6, 7 today?

[Craig]

Does he say what grade? He's a teacher.

[Danny Kelly]

He has a lot of context. He says, I teach fourth grade. My students are all nine or ten years old. I have 24 students in class today. All 24 students are in my classroom for five hours. It's an elementary school, so 24 students. Well, I'll mention five hours. Every subject.

[Craig]

24 students.

[Danny Kelly]

24 students. Five hours total. And he says he kept a tally of every time the student said 6, 7, either out loud, like, to the classroom or privately to each other.

[Craig]

Amazing.

[DK]

Funny if the answer was 6 or 7.

[Danny Kelly]

67.

[Craig]

Okay, 24 kids, five hours. Fudge. Okay. All right.

[Danny Kelly]

Three, two, one.

[DK]

23.

[Danny Kelly]

You said 23.

[Craig]

I said 41.

[Danny Kelly]

My answer I wrote down was 48.

[Craig]

Ooh.

[Danny Kelly]

Although in retrospect, I wish I had said 67, though.

[Craig]

That's.

[Danny Kelly]

I'm actually mad I didn't think of that. I can't believe one of you did that.

[Craig]

You really blew that.

[Danny Kelly]

The real answer is 72.

[Craig]

Good.

[DK]

Get out of here. What is happening to the generation below us?

[Craig]

Yep.

[DK]

All right.

[Craig]

It's trying times, Craig.

[DK]

Wait, so who said the higher number?

[Danny Kelly]

I, I, I won.

[Craig]

I said 48. I said 41. Ah. Typhus is running away with this shit. Wow.

[DK]

72 times. They said six, seven.

[Danny Kelly]

That's a lot. That's, you know, three per kid.

[DK]

I mean, the poor Nick couldn't do any teaching. He was too busy tallying the time. The amount of times he said 6, 7. 72 tallies is a lot.

[Danny Kelly]

Kids are supposed to be in school for six hours. He took a whole hour just doing the tallies. All right, so I'll take Chris Rodriguez and the Again, the other thing we didn't mention is Jaden Daniels is more likely he actually might come back and play this week for Washington. So I don't know if they should do that, especially watching Jackson Dark kind of get destroyed by the Patriots here. I don't know if he should come back from Minnesota, but he might. So Jaden Daniel's coming back would also help watch it run Game. But honestly. So, Craig, you get second or who.

[Craig]

No, I get second dk.

[Danny Kelly]

So you get Blake. Part of me is like, play Corum if he's available, he needs to be rostered. Yeah, he's probably better picked than Rodriguez.

[Craig]

I.

[Danny Kelly]

If you specifically need to make the. But if you already clinch the playoffs, do we all agree you'd rather have Corum?

[Craig]

Yeah.

[DK]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Because if Kyren Williams misses time, Corum is a honest winner. Yeah.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Okay. And then Craig. So who do you pick now with Corum and Rodriguez, Gunn?

[DK]

I mean, there's Bam Knight is kind of tricky because we don't know what's going on with Amari D. Mercado or Trey Benson in Arizona. If either of those guys don't come back. I think Bam Knight is a serviceable play. He had. He had 100 yards and a touchdown last week.

[Danny Kelly]

I kind of just think Trey Benson and the assumption that he's going to come off ir, like, until we see it. I think Bam Knight's a totally. He's also kind of starting running back. Mario DeMarcado is hurt.

[Craig]

They are playing the Rams, though, unfortunately.

[Danny Kelly]

I know, but he's a start. He's all. But he's also starting running back. If Trey Benson gets activated, it's different.

[Craig]

Totally agree. I think I would pick. I would pick Bam Knight the next.

[DK]

Yeah, yeah. Bam Knight. There's. There's. The other options are grim. It's like you have Michael Carter also in Arizona, you have Keaton Mitchell, who's like Justice Hill on the Ravens.

[Danny Kelly]

On ir, Devin Neal for the Saints is the other one. Where if you're like solely for week 14 and you want to just.

[DK]

Oh, for sure. Yeah. He's like almost 60 roster in Yahoo. But if you can get Devin Neal, I think he's serviceable for. They're playing Tampa bay for. For one game. He had 17 touches this week.

[Craig]

Yeah, I feel like it's. It's. After Bam Knight, Michael Carter, it's all the usual. Usual suspects. Keaton Mitchell, Brian Robinson, Tyler Algier, Bay, Shell, Toot.

[DK]

It's all the backups at that point.

[Danny Kelly]

Let's just look at the stash guys that you think could go to work this week. So. Because I think the stash is that if you've made the playoffs already and you want to just get a running back that if someone hurt gets hurt you every day. Like a few years ago, like Austin Eckler got Covid and then Justin Jackson came in at like 30 points or whatever. It's like stuff like that Blake Corum's number one.

[DK]

Wow.

[Danny Kelly]

Justin. I know. These are the people that decide your title sometimes. Every now and then, Jericho McKinnon, people like that.

[DK]

I think the people, I mean Kamani Vidal is like making people the playoffs.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. Kimani Vidal, absolutely. That so Keaton Mitchell, as Craig just said, Justice Hill is hurt. And Derek Henry, if anything happens to Derek Henry, keep Mitchell's the starter.

[DK]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Brian Robinson Jr. For the Niners. And I actually think the guy we haven't talked about, Ray Davis for the Bills. And if you're in a deep, if you actually need to pick up a guy and play him this week and all the people we've been talking about a rostered. I would pick up Ray Davis for the Bills for two reasons. If James Cook gets hurt, Ray Davis I think is almost like a Blake core. I'm like crazy valuable starter. But the difference is the Bills this week are playing the Bengals. The Buffalo Bills were designed to beat the Bengals defense and run down their throat. And the Bills ran for how many yards this week on The Steelers? Craig?

[DK]

2. 48.

[Danny Kelly]

I kind of think there's an outside chance the Bills run for more yards against the Bengals. I actually think Ray Davis of all these guys by far has the best shot at a 50 yard touchdown is Ray Davis. So I think Ray Davis of like you talk about like an absolute dart throw at running back. Like you're absolutely desperate in your deep league. But also if there's an injury, he's a top 10 running back. I would, I would go with Ray Davis just for the upside.

[Craig]

Yeah, I'm into that.

[Danny Kelly]

Hey, everyone just wanted to pop in after we finished recording. Tyrone Tracy was carted off with a hip injury in the Giants game. So if Tyrone Tracy's out for an extended period of time, we would add Devin Singletary to the list of running backs. That would be good for the fantasy playoffs. The Giants are on buy in week 14, so we won't help you for week 14. But afterward if the diagnosis turns out to be like a multi week injury for Tyrone Tracy, we would definitely, definitely advise adding Devin Singletary because he would be like the starting running back for the Giants. So we would add him to that list of guys that would be really valuable for every week Tyrone Tracy's out. So wanted to add that we will now get to receivers.

[Craig]

Cool.

[Danny Kelly]

Okay. Receivers. Number one receiver. You dad. Just for week 14.

[Craig]

Just for one week.

[Danny Kelly]

Like if you need to win this weekend, then we'll get to stashes.

[Craig]

Okay. I think I'm Gonna go with Jaden Higgins from the Texans. He's really been coming on strongly for them. There are other options here that I, I'm sure we'll get to that are, I think riskier, but maybe have higher upside. 80 Mitchell for the Jets. Dontavian Wicks, Isaac Tasla for the Lions. But I mean, Jaden Higgins, what he's done over the last four weeks. Five targets, nine targets, seven targets, seven targets. He was still pretty involved with CJ Stroud coming back. They're playing the Chiefs this, this week. He's been playing like 60 plus percent of the snaps last month. 19% target rate over the last four, four games. These, these are not like elite numbers, but serviceable like flex slash, wide receiver, two type numbers. I don't feel great about this, but I think he's who I would go with.

[DK]

I tentatively agree. I really thought about A.D. mitchell and then I, I said to myself all over the place, man, if I am going to spend my Sunday, the last Sunday of the regular season, hoping that Tyrod Taylor and the jets can complete big passes, I don't want to. If I go down not, not betting on the Jets, I'm okay with that.

[Craig]

Right.

[Danny Kelly]

That is super fair and probably really smart. And also I'm going to take A.D. mitchell.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Because the Vol you kind of 12 targets, eight catches, 100 yards and a touchdown. The best game any jets receiver at all year. I kind of just think they're going to scheme him the ball and he might drop it. Like that's the worst part. He actually might get a 70 yard touchdown just laid in his hands and he might just drop it in the end. The catch before the one yard line, I don't know. But I think 80 Mitchell is just the most likely these guys to pop off, which is kind of what you need. I agree. Jaden Higgins, if I am more confident, I would bet my life that if one of these guys was going to get four fantasy points, I would take Jaden Higgins over 80 Mitchell. But I'm going to take 80 Mitchell because you play to win.

[Craig]

He has a 30% target rate over the last three weeks. But if you, if you look at everything past last week where he had eight catches, 102 yards and a touchdown, he had two catches on seven targets last week, or sorry, the week before. And then in his first game with the jets, he had one catch on six targets. So.

[Danny Kelly]

Well, even though he kept dropping.

[Craig]

It's an adventure out there.

[Danny Kelly]

But the point is he dropped four of those six passes versus New England On Thursday football. And they haven't stopped throwing to him. So they're. They've made a decision. When they traded FR Mitchell, they're going to try to see if he's. Because he was a second round pick. He's. I mean, he gets open. His average shout out. Scott Baird fantasy points. Average separation score. The ass. Huge ass.

[Craig]

I mean, he can. He can route people up. He's a good route runner.

[Danny Kelly]

So I just.

[Craig]

Everything else that's a little bit sketchy.

[DK]

And like, I don't know, I feel like we've been saying Mason Taylor. That hasn't pop. I just like, don't. I just don't want to bet on a jet.

[Danny Kelly]

That's fair. Probably smart.

[Craig]

What do you think of. Oh, well, first, let's do the. The showdown. Then we can talk. Okay.

[DK]

And we're going to do Jaden Higgins just for DK and I. But Hyp can play the trivia for fun. Okay. All right. It is the Jaden Higgins showdown. Time. Yeah, that's better. That plays. He. The Giants scored. Good for you. Did you see that?

[Craig]

He.

[Danny Kelly]

I love that guy.

[Craig]

Good for us, Craig.

[Danny Kelly]

It's good for this family.

[Craig]

Good for everyone.

[DK]

Good for this family. Darius Slayton, should we add him to this waiver conversation?

[Craig]

Sure.

[Danny Kelly]

Do you want one? I have one here about the movie Ted and one about. From a urologist Ted.

[Craig]

Oh, boy. Sure. I did not watch the movie Ted, but that's fine.

[DK]

Oh, you've never seen the movie Ted? No.

[Danny Kelly]

He has no shot if.

[DK]

Well, no, that's always how it goes. That means he actually has the best shot.

[Danny Kelly]

Okay.

[Craig]

Is it like, how many times does.

[Danny Kelly]

Ted say I'm being transparent in advance? I kind of nailed this one.

[DK]

I hate that. I hate when you say that.

[Danny Kelly]

Okay, Ted, this is from Nick.

[Craig]

Another Nick. Okay.

[DK]

Hi, Nick.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, yeah.

[Craig]

Nicky and boned.

[Danny Kelly]

The scene in. In Ted when he says all the white trash names. He's a dating girl. White trash name. Guess.

[DK]

Tammy Lynn. Tammy. Joe. Tammy. Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. How many names does Mark Wahlberg say? DK has no idea what's going on.

[Craig]

I mean, this is. This is. But also, have you ever even seen.

[DK]

A clip of this scene? Dk?

[Craig]

No.

[DK]

No.

[Craig]

This is. This is about how much context I have with every other question on these. So it's fine.

[DK]

Okay.

[Danny Kelly]

All right. Three, two, one.

[DK]

40.

[Danny Kelly]

No fucking way, Craig. I said 40. I'll let you go higher. Low.

[DK]

What did DK say?

[Craig]

I said 31. Wow.

[DK]

You said 42. Damn.

[Danny Kelly]

Go high or low.

[Craig]

Wait, you guys both said 40.

[Danny Kelly]

I thought yeah, well, yeah, but I'm letting Craig pick higher or lower?

[DK]

41.

[Danny Kelly]

The answer is 45. Whoa.

[DK]

I needed that.

[Craig]

Well done, Craig.

[Danny Kelly]

You did need that team.

[Craig]

Not high, Fitz.

[DK]

All right, that means I get Jade and Higgins.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[DK]

Then you can have your ad, Mitchell, and now dk.

[Danny Kelly]

Well, I was going to take Mandy Madison, Brittany, Tiffany, Candace, Brandy, Heather Channing, Brian. No, I'm not going to say them all.

[DK]

Wait, can you. Wait, can you just read when he does the hyphenate names?

[Danny Kelly]

That's Brandy Lynn. Heather Lynn. Tammy Lynn.

[Craig]

I guess I need to watch Ted.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, you need to watch pretty.

[DK]

Oh, Ted's funny. I. I maintain that that was the most raucous theater experience I've ever had.

[Danny Kelly]

Ted is.

[DK]

People lost their in. Ted.

[Craig]

Really?

[DK]

Yeah.

[Craig]

Oh, wow.

[DK]

Okay.

[Craig]

Hangover, man. There's some interesting options here. I'm gonna. I'm gonna pick. Criminy. Let's see here. I'm gonna pick Devon Vale for the Saints.

[Danny Kelly]

Season on the line, baby.

[DK]

You're not taking Dontavian Wicks.

[Craig]

Dude, Jaden. What's his name? Jaden Reed might be coming back.

[Danny Kelly]

Did you see Matt LaFleur when Don Taven Wicks caught that ball at the end?

[Craig]

Watch the packers all year. It's like every game is just different. I think Don Tavian Wicks might be the smarter answer. Yes, because. But like every freaking game for the packers, it's like some random guy gets featured. I guess he does. They do.

[DK]

All right, but like I. I'm betting on Jordan Love and Matt LaFleur versus Tyler Shuck throwing to Devon Vale.

[Craig]

Hell yes. That's what I want. I like to live dangerously, Craig.

[DK]

I also like to live dangerously.

[Craig]

Look here, here's the deal. The rational plays Don Tavian Wicks. The. The Galaxy brain plays Devon bailey, who had eight catches for 93 yards and a touchdown since he was. Since or last week. He had 80 Rouse 24 targets. Last three games, he's basically emerged as the number two receiver once Shahid has gone. He's played 86% of the snaps or. Or more in each of those games. So, you know, the Saints traded two picks for him for some reason, and now he's a big part of their offense.

[DK]

We know the reason.

[Craig]

Yeah, because he's really fucking good.

[DK]

Hold on, guys. Ramondre Stevenson is running the Wildcat because we needed that. Yeah.

[Craig]

The other ones that I. I really consider here. Isaac to sla. We don't know what's going on with Almiron St. Brown. If he doesn't play, I would Definitely take to slaw but I have the feeling Almond Ross ain't proud is just going to come back.

[Danny Kelly]

I feel like a Monroe might not play for one game but Thursday night there's Raymond might Khalif Raymond might replace him but he has an ankle that he also is injured so it's just.

[Craig]

A lot of questions.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah I don't want to bet on tis law but also he's just such a playmaker that if it's just Jameson Williams it's a slop or I mean just think they're going to make something happen.

[DK]

Tesla this season has six catches and three of them are touchdowns.

[Danny Kelly]

That's exactly and that's the thing. It's like it's one of them like what happens if he actually has to play a whole game so but also I don't want to bet on that but Brock Sam Laporta's hurt. Brock writes her it's like they're down two receivers they're on two tight ends like at some point I don't know he might have to play all game but hard to put your season on the line with a guy with six catches in the entire year. So yeah dun Taven Wicks I think also Pat Bryant for the Bron I think stash is guys that could be good down the line I think it's all the rookies we were talking about Jaden Higgins Dante Wicks dont even weeks is not a a rookie but Pat Brian for the Broncos is starting to.

[DK]

Look yeah what's funny DK your your guy Sean Payton. I I talked on what day was it about Troy Franklin overtaking Cortland Sutton as like the new red zone guy. Well Monday night Troy Franklin hardly involved and now Pat Bryant their rookie they took in the third round right?

[Craig]

Yeah.

[DK]

Had more targets than Troy Franklin and has played more offensive snaps in both two and three wide receiver sets on Sunday night than Troy Franklin.

[Craig]

You want to know why? Do you want to know why Craig?

[DK]

I don't think I do. I don't.

[Craig]

I don't Sean Payton fucking hates you. That's why he wants you to be unhappy. He doesn't want you to win in anything.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Craig]

What do they tell I mean they keep winning which is fine, whatever I don't care but fuck that.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah nine wins in a row. Who gives a shit about that? The the I think those are guys for this week if you want to just stash a receiver for the playoffs. I think there's a few Jaden Reed, the receiver for the Packers. I don't know when they're going to activate him off injured reserve. I think it's soon. He had two surgeries, like, so he had a foot issue, like a Jones fracture in his foot in August, and he was going to play through it. And then he broke his collarbone in week two and he had to get surgery in his collarbone. He was like, fuck it, I'll get surgery in the foot, too. So he's just coming back from collarbone and foot surgery. So I don't know if I want to play a guy who has two injuries in his first game back with. In the playoffs. But if Jaden Reed comes back, he's a man among boys. I've. He's. I've always loved the way he plays, and I think he is just one of those guys that always. Just has a nose to the end zone. They always get scheme touches. He's like a debo ish for the Green Bay. Like, he doesn't get like the metrics. Don't love his usage or whatever. I don't give a shit. He scores a ton of touchdowns. And Matt LaFleur really wants Jaden Reed back. So he's a guy that if he comes back and looks good in his first time, I. I'd actually trust putting him in my lineup later relatively. To your other waiver options. The other one, Mike Evans, might get activated off injured reserve. That's another guy just throwing an IR spot if he got one. Just add Mike Evans if he got cut. Cause it seemed like he might be out for the year. And then Jalen Coker for the Panthers, who's on by this week. But I think he's just a really good player.

[DK]

The Cokeheads.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. And so just add Jalen Coker if you need a receiver. I think he's just better.

[Craig]

Luther Burden again.

[DK]

I'll keep shouting out Luther Burden. Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

I don't know when I would play Luther Burden, but I agree that he's fun to watch.

[Craig]

It feels good to have him on your bench, though, doesn't it?

[DK]

It feels like you're planning for the future.

[Craig]

It's like a fucking, you know, you just bought some stocks or something.

[DK]

Yeah. It's just nice to have him sit there. He looks good on the bench, you know, it's. It's prudent to have him.

[Craig]

Is that what people say? I just bought some stocks? Yeah. How would people say that to another person?

[DK]

I just got back from the stock store.

[Craig]

I just went to the stock market and I picked up some stocks.

[DK]

I just went to the stock market.

[Danny Kelly]

Using those trivia questions about the stock market. That's so funny.

[Craig]

Okay, guys, I can't wait to tell you who I'm picking at.

[Danny Kelly]

It feels like a Nathan for you or something. Just the stock market. Okay, so we're at tight end. DK is your number one tight end. Off waivers guys entering week 14 this weekend.

[Craig]

I'm going out and get some. Getting some strange. I'm going for it. Okay. Craig is.

[DK]

So.

[Danny Kelly]

You know what's funny. So he. What's so funny, dk? What's the joke?

[Craig]

Getting some strange ass.

[Danny Kelly]

I can. Is that what it is?

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

I continue.

[Craig]

Strange.

[DK]

It's strange ass. Strange refers to ass. Or in general? Just women.

[Craig]

Well, both, I think. Okay.

[Danny Kelly]

I still have never heard anyone use this, other than you, in the context of adding Brenton Strange off waivers.

[Craig]

Go out there and get some strange.

[Danny Kelly]

You know, I'm gonna go decades.

[Craig]

It's a. It's a line from Wedding Crashers. Go out there and get some strange ass.

[DK]

It just means have sex with a new person.

[Craig]

You're a. You're of a different generation. It's fine. Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Craig]

I don't actually know if I've. I've ever actually. I've never actually said that to anyone in real life other than you guys. But it does bother Craig quite a bit.

[DK]

I feel like that photo of you that we posted on Instagram, that guy said, let's get some strange.

[Craig]

Let's go out and get some strange. Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. In order to. Okay.

[Craig]

That. I'm classy.

[Danny Kelly]

So you're taking Craig. Are you taking strange?

[DK]

100%.

[Danny Kelly]

I hate saying this. Oh, fuck.

[Craig]

Craig. Did you Google the expression?

[DK]

Yeah, it says that. You having sex with a new person?

[Danny Kelly]

No. No Darren Waller for you guys.

[Craig]

No, I don't really like over Brenton Strange.

[DK]

Brenton Strange is like a big part of the offense.

[Craig]

Yeah, he's like their leading receiver now. Plus, Parker Washington's probably out.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Parker Washington hurt Brent Strange is the answer. Fine.

[Craig]

Thank you.

[DK]

All right. That means it's time to go out and look for some strange.

[Danny Kelly]

Go to the stock market. Can I change my mind? Is it too late?

[Craig]

And look for some strange?

[DK]

I just. That just sounds so seedy.

[Craig]

Yeah, I know. That's the point. Okay?

[DK]

I know that's who you were in a past life. I know it. I know it to be true. Okay.

[Craig]

Okay.

[DK]

You were a little rascal.

[Craig]

Rascal.

[Danny Kelly]

What were you getting up to? What were you doing?

[DK]

Y2K. You guys thought the world was ending. You guys Were doing.

[Craig]

We get. We were living. We're carpe in the dm, you know?

[DK]

Yeah. Is that what they're calling it?

[Danny Kelly]

Should I admit something? Really?

[DK]

Does the carpe match the dm?

[Craig]

Oh, that's pretty good.

[DK]

You're like, I wish I had that. All right, let's do what I have in there.

[Craig]

What's going on?

[DK]

You watching the Giants game?

[Danny Kelly]

I said that this is going to be one of those 90 of people listening make fun of me. And 10 are like, whoa. I was, like, making fun of DK having the ear. The earring. And I was like, it's his earring. And I was like, oh, my God. That's why they call it that. Earrings. You didn't know what it was.

[Craig]

You didn't know earring was the earring?

[Danny Kelly]

I never thought about it.

[DK]

Yeah, I don't know if I ever really thought about it either.

[Danny Kelly]

It's God, man, Earrings.

[DK]

It's a ring.

[Danny Kelly]

Like, that is two words they just put into one word. Earring.

[Craig]

Did you know that nose ring is also a ring that you put into your nose?

[Danny Kelly]

But that's not a word for a thing. Like, I'm going to get nose ring word. I just never thought about. But yeah, just.

[Craig]

You don't say nose earring.

[DK]

Why is a necklace not called a neck ring? Why is it called a necklace?

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, my God. They were necklace lace. Yeah, they were made of lace.

[DK]

What is lace?

[Danny Kelly]

Lace material.

[Craig]

You don't know what lace is?

[DK]

Well, lace is not a. Isn't lace like a. Like a style of. Of garment? Not an actual texture?

[Danny Kelly]

I think it's textile.

[Craig]

It's a texture.

[DK]

Lace is a. Is a. Wow. A necklace garment. Look it up.

[Danny Kelly]

Google fine open fabric.

[DK]

So, like, lace is made out of lace, or is lace lace typically cotton?

[Craig]

This is like a type of fabric. It's like, I don't know, like a lace napkin or something. Yeah, you know, like a lace napkin or denim necklace.

[Danny Kelly]

Wow. Never thought about that. Now everyone listening being like, you're idiots are like. Some people listening are like, holy hyphens.

[Craig]

Did you know that breakfast is breaking the fast?

[Danny Kelly]

All right, but only later, Craig.

[Craig]

We gotta educate this young man.

[Danny Kelly]

Anyway, what are we doing? Okay, this trivia question's from Trey.

[DK]

Trey. What's up, Trey?

[Danny Kelly]

And I don't. I don't know how to pronounce this, but it's somewhere in Alaska. It's a small town, and there's like a. I don't know how to say the name.

[DK]

Try. Yeah, do an accent, too.

[Craig]

Well, I don't know about that. What is it?

[Danny Kelly]

It's U, T K I G V I K. I don't even know if that's, like, Native American or Russian or. I don't know what Kovic. Anyway, in the middle of. Somewhere in Alaska, the sun went down on November 18. What day do you think it will come back up? November place in Alaska went down November 18th. When will the sun return?

[DK]

What a great question from Trey.

[Danny Kelly]

This is a great question.

[DK]

Does Trey live there?

[Danny Kelly]

I. I don't think so, but I did not ask.

[DK]

He probably would have said that.

[Danny Kelly]

I feel like he definitely would have mentioned that.

[DK]

All right.

[Danny Kelly]

I also didn't get very close on this one, so you guys should win.

[Craig]

Okay. I have no idea. I mean, I have an idea.

[Danny Kelly]

3, 2, 1.

[Craig]

February 23rd. What did you say?

[Danny Kelly]

Weirdly close.

[DK]

I said February 20th.

[Craig]

Oh, 23rd.

[Danny Kelly]

Weirdly close.

[Craig]

Did you say, hi, Vitz?

[Danny Kelly]

I was not even close. I said. I said December 11th, which was super wrong. The answer is January 22nd.

[Craig]

Damn it.

[Danny Kelly]

Place in Alaska is going to go.

[Craig]

Actually, I'm just five days, so that's fine. What is it? How many days?

[Danny Kelly]

65 days without the sun.

[Craig]

Wow. There's a. There is a village somewhere up near the Arctic Circle that I believe is like a Norwegian town. And it's kind of the same deal as this place where the sun just goes down and then like three. Three or four months later. They're just. They're just waiting. It's just dark for a huge part of the year. God damn. What is that place called? I'll look it up. Anyway, Craig, who are you taking?

[DK]

Strange. I found some Strange.

[Craig]

Nice dk. I'll take Waller.

[Danny Kelly]

It sucks ass.

[Craig]

Darren Waller.

[Danny Kelly]

I think Waller's good.

[Craig]

All he does is score touchdowns.

[Danny Kelly]

The Miami is the pass it to the Italians offense. And I think Darren Waller is an honorary Italian because he kind of just showed up and Jalen Waddle went away. Did the Giants just botch a field goal? I'm gonna.

[DK]

Yeah, that was that. I've never really seen anything quite like that before.

[Danny Kelly]

So much. I'm so upset. You know what? I feel so stupid thinking they were gonna win this game.

[DK]

Oh, yes.

[Craig]

Fallbard is the name of the place I was thinking of.

[DK]

Dude, the kicker.

[Danny Kelly]

So what happened?

[Craig]

What did.

[Danny Kelly]

Young Way.

[DK]

The holder muffs the ball a little bit and the kicker just stops and doesn't kick the ball. He's like. Well, it's like they were practicing.

[Danny Kelly]

Young Way. Oh, my God.

[Craig]

Have you ever.

[DK]

It's like they were practicing and Young way was like, no, no, wait. You screwed that up. Let's try that again.

[Danny Kelly]

Do you know, I actually don't think I've seen that in the NFL in a long time. You see that a lot in like high school, sometimes in college. That was. That would have won ick of the week.

[Craig]

It looked like his foot got stuck.

[Danny Kelly]

He just froze.

[DK]

Probably got turf toe out Giants.

[Craig]

All right. Hi, Fitz. Which tight end are you taking?

[Danny Kelly]

My season aligns pretty hard because there's Harold Fanon and the Browns, but I'm like, I. I gonna have S.H. sanders be your quarterback and like throwing a fan in the. I don't want to go down that way. I probably would do Isaiah likely on the Ravens, which I don't love either.

[Craig]

Pittsburgh and then Cincy the next two weeks.

[Danny Kelly]

I know. That's the thing. The defenses are kind of sibs 95 yards last week, even with the Ravens being a mess. He should have had a touchdown. So I think Isaiah likely. I also would throw out A.J. barner for the Seahawks, which I don't love either. But when the Sears played the Rams, they had like 10 catches for 70 yards for A.J. barner. And then the Rams defense, I don't know. There's some similarities with what the Falcons do. And so I kind of wonder if AJ Barner might end up also getting a lot of catches instead of in Jigba. So there's a chance that does the tush push. So you know, you could have worse prayer tight ends than a guy who did 10 catches just a few weeks ago. And. But I would go Isaiah likely or AJ Barner and then Harold Fannin maybe is good, but I. I can't. The way Craig can't go down the Jets, I can't go down having shitter Sanders need to complete a bass.

[DK]

Yeah.

[Craig]

No love for Evan Ingram.

[Danny Kelly]

No, because I listen to you.

[Craig]

The Broncos also on the Broncos like the don't, which is a negative in my mind.

[Danny Kelly]

You said 3 weeks ago you just were like, evan Ingram will randomly have a great game in week 13 and disappear. And then he did. And I'm like, I should have. This episode is brought to you by Ford Blue Cruise. It's not just where you're going, it's how you get there. And Ford Blue Cruise hands free highway driving technology helps make the journey more enjoyable. We took it for a test drive so we could experience the convenience for ourselves. So I tested the Ford Blue Cruise hands free highway driving technology last month, and it was amazing. I was blown away. Like, we're just on the highway and you can just hit a blinker and it just changes lanes and you can set how many car lengths ahead you want the truck to be in front of or behind the car, like how far you want it from the nearest car. It was amazing. I was. I didn't realize we were there. I felt like I was living the future. So it was. It was absolutely mind blowing. With Ford BlueCruise, you arrive at your destination ready to take on whatever comes your way. But don't just take our word for it. Experience the convenience for yourself. Ford Blue cruise hands free highway driving for a hands on life available feature on bluecruise equipped vehicles. Bluecruise requires a connected services plan and modem activation. Bluecruise driver assist features can be activated in hands free blue zones and do not replace safe driving and drivers need to control the vehicle. See Ford.com BlueCruise for more details on available plans and hands free models. Don't miss the movie event of a lifetime. Visionary director James Cameron presents the greatest chapter of the biggest saga of all time. Avatar, Fire and Ash, now playing in theaters. A new threat will rise in the character of Varong, who leads the ruthless Ash people. And a stunning new discovery will threaten to change the world of Avatar forever. Avatar, Fire and Ash, now playing in theaters, IMAX and 3D screens everywhere. Get tickets now. So I'm not going to deal with that.

[Craig]

Yeah, yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Okay. We're going to get to quarterbacks and defense in a second. But first, Fanduel is now live in Missouri. And to celebrate, we're going to go back to the start and we're going to take a look at the mighty 1963 Kansas City Chiefs. The first year of the Chiefs.

[Craig]

63. Craig, what were you doing in 63?

[DK]

63. I was working at the mill back then.

[Danny Kelly]

He was on the grassy knoll. What kind of mill, Craig?

[DK]

It was a bunch, couple mills. I was kind of bouncing back and forth.

[Craig]

It was a multi purpose mill.

[DK]

Yeah, it was kind of a multi hyphenate mill.

[Danny Kelly]

Multi hyphenate mill.

[DK]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

That's good.

[DK]

We were doing a lot of things. I was kind of a manager there. No big deal. So I was overseeing them.

[Craig]

You were Mr. Manager?

[DK]

Yeah, yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

So the 63 Chiefs. The Chiefs were the Dallas Texans at first. Then they moved to Kansas City and they went to the Dallas Texans. They were the doubt. Yes, they were the Dallas Texans and then they moved to Kansas City in 1963. And in honor of fanduel being live in Missouri, I wanted to go through some of the players in the 1963 Chiefs, starting with a fullback named Jack Spikes. They don't make him like that.

[Craig]

Did he work at the mill with you?

[DK]

Jack Spikes? Yeah, he was doing the. He was doing the hard work, though. He was like. He was our. Our macho guy.

[Craig]

Right, right.

[Danny Kelly]

I don't know where the rankings of like names for players, just things that look cool in a jersey. But Spikes is like sd.

[Craig]

Jack Spikes.

[DK]

Jack Spikes.

[Craig]

When I go. When I go hiking, I always bring my Jack Spikes.

[Danny Kelly]

Other players in this team, other names. There's Dick Johnson.

[DK]

Okay. Feels like those were a dime a dozen back then.

[Craig]

If I can. If I had a nickel for all the Dick Johnson's I knew back in the day.

[Danny Kelly]

A lot of Dick Johnson's at the mill.

[DK]

All of the mills were filled with Dick Johnson's.

[Danny Kelly]

All the. The.

[DK]

What are the type of mills? Give me a mill.

[Danny Kelly]

Sawmill.

[DK]

Sawmill, Grain mill.

[Danny Kelly]

Grain mill. Types of. That's a good question. Types of.

[DK]

What are the other types of mills? I don't even really know.

[Danny Kelly]

Like what.

[DK]

What do you mill it.

[Danny Kelly]

Those are physical mills. I want to. Grain mills, stamp mills, pebble mill.

[Craig]

Pebble mill, maybe.

[Danny Kelly]

What is a mill?

[DK]

I don't. They mill things.

[Danny Kelly]

What is a mill?

[Craig]

Grinding and processing materials like grain or. And cement also.

[DK]

Is a sawmill. Isn't that more of a tool than it is an actual building? Like, it's not like a.

[Craig]

Sometimes they put it in a building.

[Danny Kelly]

I think they just like chop wood.

[Craig]

You're milling a log.

[DK]

Like when I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When I think of a mill, I'm thinking of like a large kind of factory like situation. Is that not what you're thinking of? You thinking of like a little tractor thing that you like mill grain with?

[Craig]

I'm thinking of a building.

[Danny Kelly]

I think it's both because the building has a big mill, right?

[Craig]

Correct. Okay, give me some more names.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, yeah.

[Craig]

Johnson.

[DK]

Okay, we got Jack Spikes and Dick Johnson.

[Danny Kelly]

Smokey Stover.

[DK]

Smokey's cool, man.

[Danny Kelly]

Linebacker name. Smokey. Smokey Stover.

[Craig]

Man. That's good.

[Danny Kelly]

I kind of want to hang out with crazy.

[DK]

Smokey Stover worked at a mill.

[Danny Kelly]

No, I'm. I'm kidding. I made that up. Then the other. The other guy. Oh, dude, there's some. This. This team I love. I mean, Dwayne Wood just got.

[Craig]

There was a comic strip called Smokey Stover. That's probably why it's called that.

[DK]

Oh.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, that actually prop. That's a good question.

[Craig]

From the 30s.

[DK]

Oh, wow.

[Danny Kelly]

I also Can't. Dick Johnson really played every position on this team, which is incredible.

[Craig]

I bet he did.

[Danny Kelly]

I also love Abner Haynes.

[DK]

That's Abner Haynes. I feel like I know that name.

[Danny Kelly]

Should we bring Abner Haynes back?

[DK]

Was Abner Haynes famous?

[Danny Kelly]

He was the 1960s SN Player of the year.

[DK]

I think that rings a bell. He just died last year.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, no.

[DK]

RIP. 86 years old.

[Craig]

RIP.

[DK]

To Abner Haynes, Jack Spikes. His photo on Wikipedia is a player card.

[Danny Kelly]

Like a painting.

[DK]

Yeah. This is a drawing of him on a card. And he was. He was the fullback, halfback, and kicker.

[Craig]

See, they could do two or three different things.

[Danny Kelly]

Dude, the fucking linebackers can kick. But punters back in the day, they.

[Craig]

Didn'T worry about how tired your leg was gonna get. That wasn't even part of their thing. That wasn't in the vocabulary. Tired. They didn't say tired.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. Give me a break. Okay, remember, fanduel's now live in Missouri, and they're celebrating with a ton of great promotions and rewards for everyone. So sign up today and take advantage all week long. You don't want to miss out.

[DK]

I want. I want to start a contest out there for people. Jack Spikes is one of the shorter Wikipedias I've ever seen. I want people to submit the shortest Wikipedia of a real human being they can find. So you're good. It's like you just cleared the Wikipedia bar, but not enough to have a substantial page.

[Danny Kelly]

Giants just gave up another touchdown.

[Craig]

To who? Is that a touchdown?

[Danny Kelly]

33 yard touchdown.

[Craig]

They're reviewing it.

[DK]

One that's definitely.

[Craig]

He might have dragged his foot.

[Danny Kelly]

I'm. You know what? I don't. This team sucks.

[Craig]

I don't. It might not be it.

[DK]

I don't think he's in. That left knee came down before his right foot.

[Craig]

I keep forgetting Kyle Williams is a on the team.

[DK]

These Pats jerseys, unfortunately, Rip, I know.

[Danny Kelly]

All the throwback jerseys at the Patriot.

[Craig]

It's a freaking Revolutionary War soldier hiking a football.

[DK]

It's sweet. It's really cool. Dude, the Seahawks ones they wore this week were awesome. The Broncos ones are sweet.

[Danny Kelly]

They're all. I love the mascots playing. Like, I do. Kind of want more part of me. I.

[Craig]

The Vikings dolphin with a helmet on.

[Danny Kelly]

I love the dolphin with the helmet on. Like, the Vikings have the horns, which is cool. But I kind of want to see something of a Viking playing football. Like, there's a lot of good stuff out there.

[DK]

I agree that we're having, like, a branding crisis in America right now. I swear there's like, all these. You can watch and read all these things about why, like, how logos and fonts and everything is just, like, regressing to the same oversimplified, like, minimalist look. Hate it. You know, I.

[Danny Kelly]

You're so. You're right, Craig. I also. I can't believe the Dolphins took the helmet off the dolphin.

[DK]

Oh, yeah, right.

[Danny Kelly]

Imagine being the person who was like, no helmet.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[DK]

Everything is less creative now. It's more market tested, I suppose, and cleaner and simpler and sleeker. But I liked when it just felt like it was a Three guys in a room being like, what if we put a helmet on a dolphin? That's what I want.

[Craig]

It's like the Buccaneers were, like, an actual.

[DK]

Feels like there's a human color on the things that you're consuming. You know, I want.

[Danny Kelly]

The person who should be in charge of all this is the person who is like, I want a giant pirate ship in the Tampa Bay stadium.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

That person should just design all the stadiums.

[DK]

Yeah. There's a really cool. There's like, some ridiculous AI edit of, like, what every NFL stadium should actually be, and it's pretty cool. It's like the Bengals. It's like a jungle. And there's like. You know, there's like a literal pirate ship, like, in a river going through Tampa Bay. It's. It's cool. It's fun. Craig.

[Craig]

I was looking at some old. I was, like, perusing old ebay on ebay. Like, old ads.

[DK]

Yeah.

[Craig]

Just because it's really interesting. Like, obviously now they just, like, run out of things to say, I think. But, like, there was some Winston cigarette commercials that were just like, winston tastes good.

[DK]

Yeah. Guinness is good for your health.

[Craig]

Yeah, that. Oh, that's exactly right.

[Danny Kelly]

This is like the band.

[Craig]

All the Guinness ones.

[Danny Kelly]

This is like the band's thing. Like, nothing had been said yet. You know, they could just. They had all this. They could say whatever they wanted.

[DK]

It's like, drink Ovaltine, a great start of your day. Breakfast with Ovaltine.

[Craig]

Yeah, See? All right, there was a bunch of ads. There's a bunch. I don't know why. I was just perusing, like, the cigarette ads, but there's, like, a bunch that just said low tar. Yeah. Sweet. Hell, yeah.

[DK]

For a clean, smooth finish.

[Danny Kelly]

They milled the tar.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[DK]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Less tar, extra milled tar. Okay, well, speaking of ads, now for a special segment of today's episode, Smarter Moves presented by Chime. Here to help you bank smarter this season. Chime's got Smarter moves for your money and We've got smarter moves for your league this week. If you need a quarterback I think the quarterback cause again I mean Jackson Dart, Brock Purdy, Bryce Young, Drake may all are on by and then Justin Herbert has a broken hand. He might play. He's a metacarpal fracture in his left hand but it's Monday Night football so I don't think you want to leave the Herbert decision to Monday because if he doesn't play you're kind of screwed. Although we can talk about that. And then you have Aaron Rodgers who has a broken wrist. His fractures in his wrist they didn't displace but still that's not great. Jordan Love also just a weird amount of non throwing shoulder arm injuries this year between Aaron Rodgers and Herbert. Jordan Love Jaden Daniels Baker like Mallet Finger yes the new male figures the non throwing turf toe on the non throwing arm. So with that said quarterbacks the stream I think Trevor Lawrence if he's available I think Trevor Lawrence is the best thing you could do at quarterback because he he runs he throws like Trevor Lawrence is more mobile than you think for someone who kind of runs a little bit like a newly born giraffe. So I think you could do Trevor Lawrence if not if he's probably rostered the two people if you have Herbert in particular but I also think he works Trey Lance I think if you have Justin Herbert you should add Trey Lance because I don't know if he can play but he can move and he can still run. And watching the preseason I was like oh I don't know and probably bad it will probably be a disaster but I think Trey Lance for fantasy can totally get you a very ugly 16 points if we Herbert doesn't play and if you have a Monday Night Football and you're going to play Herbert I think it's essential the other person that say to Rod Taylor for the Jets I know it's ugly but to Rod Taylor had 20, 21 points last week in fantasy he ran for 40 plus yards and a touchdown. Like it's not great but I think to Rod Taylor like you could do a lot worse if in a pinch than a guy it's weird to say about I think he's 36 years old but he he is faster than most NFL quarterbacks. So I think if you're really really, really down bad you could do that because you know I'm not going to recommend JJ McCarthy or whatever. Despite the schedule, Kirk Cousins is playing the Seahawks. Cam Ward is playing the Browns like a lot of the Quarterbacks available are have horrible matchups. So I think to Rod Taylor is probably the best move you got.

[DK]

How do you feel about the fact that even if Herbert does play, I mean this is crazy. He's getting surgery. He had surgery today, Monday and he might play this week, Monday, Monday night, a week from now. Do you think you should even play Herbert? Because there's a chance that like Lance is like comes in on the goal line anyway.

[Craig]

You know what I mean?

[Danny Kelly]

I don't know. So it's weird because the non throwing hand, it really affects the running game more and obviously can make it worse by and under center but it makes under center snaps harder and it really it's when you. I God, I always get this wrong mirroring it but it's like when you turn run to the left you got to hand it with your right arm. I don't know why I can never do that in my head. But like it affects running to one side sometimes. So that's the problems whether you can grip the ball. So he probably end up doing what Rogers did last week if it's really a problem and like take the pistol. I I think Jim Harbaugh would rather change the entire offense to have Justin Herbert play than try to have Trey Lance play. I think Jim Harbaugh would rather have Herbert get the ball out and all the time. But yeah, maybe you don't want to play Herbert at all. But Herbert says he's going to play and I kind of think you Herbert will play. But you do need a backup plan.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[DK]

So I know I will probably for a lot of people who have Herbert, if you're in a super flex league, something like that, which I am in my home league and I have Herbert honestly like if you're in a sharp enough league, there are literally no quarterbacks on the waiver wire and so Trey Lance might be your only option.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. And he's definitely available so. And if someone else has Herbert, you're going to play them. Pick up Trey Lance so they can't have him. Okay, defense this week I just going to list a few because you never know what defenses are available. The Browns versus the Titans. I know that's obvious. But if the Browns defense is available in playing Tennessee, it's like the opportunity of a lifetime. I kind of think Miles Garrett has an outside shot to just break the sack record. This week against the Titans. Camborder has been sacked more than any quarterback and he's playing the Browns. The Eagles versus the Chargers. I think the Eagles are available in more leagues than you would think. And they're playing perhaps Trey Lance, which would be quite the thing for the Eagles. So keep an eye on that. I also think the Colts versus The Jaguars, I don't know if that's traditionally a great matchup or whatever, but I kind of just still think Trevor Lawrence is a little bit of a blockhead and he can do great in fantasy but still throw a pick six like Trevor. I can kind of already see Cam Bynum, the Colts safety, just dancing in the end zone or something, doing one of his rom com dances or something. So I kind of think the Colts defense is pretty good there. I also wanted to mention a bunch of stash candidates for defense. Cause if you already clinched the playoffs and you want to look ahead, if you want to look at if you are if you don't have a first round buy and you're going to play in week 15, San Francisco has a buy in week 14 but in week 15 they play the Titans and again the Titans are awful and just scored three points against Jacksonville and Cambord's been sacked the most. So the Niners don't have great defense but The Titans Week 15 the Eagles defense are playing the Raiders in week 15. That's also just very juicy. Dallas never would have thought I'd recommend this, but Dallas, whose defensive better is playing the vikings in week 15 and until JJ McCarthy looks better if you're in the league where you're like oh, none of these defenses are available. Dallas defense is available and you could get JJ McCarthy and then the other one even the Bears bears week 15 you don't want to play them in week 14 but bears week 15 the Browns are in Chicago and I think the Bears defense who has the most turnovers I the Chadeur like I, I, I think that again another team that's I think super available in fantasy is the Bears defense and you could do a lot worse than having Shadow be the quarterback your defense is facing in week 15. If you've already clinched a first round by which hopefully you have because you're listening to the show the teams I would highlight that again I think these are probably available. The Bills also playing the Browns in week 16 and maybe Quinn, Shawn Judkins can run on the Bills a lot but I just think the Browns are a smart team to target. The Chiefs are playing the titans in week 16 so Cam Ward versus the Chiefs and then the Steelers who if they're not available they're going to get cut. The Steelers play the Browns in week 17 so the Steelers. I know the defense is tough, and like, I know you're seeing teams running them, but part of me still just, maybe I'm making too much of this. But I just think Shadur Sanders, Cam Ward, J.J. mcCarthy, like any of these teams that have playmakers like a TJ Watt, like, I would just spam and target all the guys that are playing this team. So I think that that's a defense that's probably available. And needless to say, Texans, Browns, Seahawks, the great defenses, if they're available, go get them. But those are the teams that throw out.

[DK]

Yeah, Steelers is a good one.

[Danny Kelly]

Steelers, Browns, week 17. Like, that would be something. All right, that's it for this week's edition of Smarter Moves. But remember, if you want to make your smartest move yet, switch to Chime. Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services provided by the Bancorp Bank NA or Stride Bank NA members FDIC. Learn [e-mail] okay, this episode is brought to you by Velveeta. Game day is all about the tailgate spread. First things first, who's bringing the Velveeta drip? Just like your favorite players on the field, Velveeta fans go all in on what they love. Creamy shells and cheese, melty Velveeta blocks and cheesy jarred quesos. They're taking down one taste bud at a time. Velveeta is the real MVP of the tailgate. You've got to respect the drip. Do yourself a favor and stock up on Velveeta before kickoff. This episode is brought to you by the Home Depot. Black Friday savings are here at the Home Depot, which means it's time to stock up on new additions to your collection.

[Craig]

And right now, when you buy a.

[Danny Kelly]

Select battery kit from one of our top brands like Ryobi or Milwaukee, you'll get a select tool from that same brand for free. So check out the best deals of the season and get top brand tools.

[Craig]

You'Ll use for projects all year long.

[Danny Kelly]

Black Friday Savings happening now at the Home Depot limit one per transaction.

[Craig]

Exclusions apply.

[Danny Kelly]

Full eligible tool list in store and online. All right, emails, emails. I have a trivia question here that didn't work, but I wanted to read it anyway.

[Craig]

Okay, it didn't work.

[Danny Kelly]

Well, it's not an. It's from Zuck.

[Craig]

Not the closest to the pen one.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, Zuck's breakfast was two chick fil a biscuits and one large vanilla milkshake.

[DK]

Jesus Christ. What's his name?

[Craig]

Zuck.

[Danny Kelly]

Zuck.

[Craig]

Sup Zuck, T bone chick fil a biscuits.

[DK]

And you said a vanilla milkshake.

[Danny Kelly]

A large vanilla milkshake for breakfast.

[Craig]

That sounds amazing, actually.

[DK]

Is that like a. Like a Thanksgiving week only kind of thing or is that kind of an everyday situation?

[Craig]

If it's every day. I'm very proud of you.

[Danny Kelly]

It's wild. So Zuck's trivia question was what was the name of Teddy Roosevelt's pet hyena?

[Craig]

Of course.

[Danny Kelly]

And I kind of want to see if we can guess and just decide who was closest.

[DK]

But I want to say like in the recesses of my brain, I maybe knew that he had a pet hyena.

[Danny Kelly]

But I did not. And that's really what I wanted to talk about is Teddy Roosevelt had a hyena.

[Craig]

Okay, you can have a pet hyena.

[Danny Kelly]

Well, it turns out back in the day.

[Craig]

Was it in the White House?

[Danny Kelly]

Well, I. I don't know, man. Ridden up the upholstery.

[DK]

Where the. Did they get it?

[Danny Kelly]

Well, I think it was given every.

[Craig]

Animal in the world, so.

[DK]

But he went and got it from Africa.

[Danny Kelly]

The. Hold on. Now I get. Oh yeah. So this is the National Park Service, all the pets. And apparently I guess people just give the president pets. So also, you never guess. Wait, first of all, what do you think? The hyena, his name was Zach Jack Spikes. The hyena was named Bill.

[Craig]

Bill. Damn it. Okay, that was right there.

[Danny Kelly]

Bill the hyena. And he was. He was a gift from the emperor of Ethiopia. But I really went down this rabbit hole of all the animals people would just give Teddy Roosevelt. So he. The Roosevelt kids had a small. I remember now why I put this in the. The Roosevelt kids had a small bear named Jonathan Edwards.

[Craig]

Jonathan Edwards.

[Danny Kelly]

Yes. This is on the National Park Service government website.

[Craig]

First and last name.

[Danny Kelly]

They had a lizard named Bill.

[Craig]

All right, another. They had a lizard named Bill and a hyena named Bill of Options.

[Danny Kelly]

Back then, guinea pigs named Admiral Dewey, Dr. Johnson, Bishop Doane and Fighting Bob Evans.

[DK]

Fighting after like their friends who died in the war or something.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, there's also children.

[Craig]

This was the children name. They.

[Danny Kelly]

I guess I. I don't know who did the kids name of guinea pig. Father o' Grady. Cuddles or something. The pig named Mod.

[DK]

Mod.

[Craig]

M A U D E M A.

[Danny Kelly]

U D. It's a good movie. A badger named Josiah.

[DK]

Okay.

[Danny Kelly]

This is like badger in the house. President. He's like President. This is happening. He has a blue macaw named Eli Yale.

[DK]

Wait, are. Are these all presidents in the history of this country or.

[Danny Kelly]

No, just Teddy Roosevelt.

[DK]

This is all just Teddy.

[Danny Kelly]

Just Teddy. Had all these animals.

[DK]

Where were they kept? Were they all separate? Could they hang out together? Did any get along? I would love to know if they.

[Danny Kelly]

Were unlikely friendships that were unlikely animal friendships. It's the hyena and the guinea pigs getting along.

[DK]

Yeah. Was Bill hanging out with Josiah?

[Danny Kelly]

I. This, this should be like instead of the real wives of Mormon. Mormon wives. We should have like all the pets.

[DK]

Was there any fighting? Did one eat the other?

[Craig]

Of course.

[DK]

I want to know. Dude, I saw hyenas in Africa. Those are some ugly.

[Craig]

Oh yeah. So brown. They make is crazy as they are creepy looking.

[Danny Kelly]

They do the little like.

[DK]

Yeah, they just like, they, they just look sinister.

[Craig]

What do they do?

[DK]

No, they have like a, they have like a weird, like, like posture. They're kind of hunched.

[Danny Kelly]

Right.

[DK]

They did Lion King. Got it right animal.

[Danny Kelly]

They walk all weird. Hold on.

[Craig]

Get like a hunchback.

[DK]

They look.

[Craig]

They're brooding at all times.

[DK]

Yeah, they look like they're up to something.

[Craig]

They are up to something.

[DK]

Yeah.

[Craig]

Trying to come steal your young or something.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. Hyenas.

[Craig]

Maybe hyenas get a bad rap. I don't know.

[Danny Kelly]

No, they get.

[DK]

I don't think. I think they get a good. I think the rep is accurate.

[Danny Kelly]

I think the rep accurate for the hyenas.

[DK]

It's not like a pit bull situation.

[Craig]

If you're a hyena, email us in, let us know what it's really like.

[Danny Kelly]

If anyone thinks we're besmirching the hyenas, I think we're. The hyenas are accurate. They're like, you know, we're not.

[Craig]

Although it's literally a word for like a really dicky person.

[Danny Kelly]

I saw a crazy article though.

[Craig]

Hyena.

[Danny Kelly]

I. I saw a crazy thing. I think it was the Washington Post or something where they were. It was about how whether raccoons are the next animal that's going to be domesticated and on the scope of like thousands of years. Like not like next year. Not like pets now.

[DK]

You know there are videos online of people who have raccoons.

[Danny Kelly]

Well, that's rather, that's what it's about. And they were talking about how some people are taking them in and they're like, that sounds crazy to be like pet raccoons. But you gotta remember dogs, cats, like this took like thousands of years. And there's evolutionary changes obviously because, you know, English bulldogs weren't exactly wilding around like 10,000 years ago. The point being raccoons and you can kind of see they're getting cuter and the snouts are getting shorter. The snouts and raccoons in cities, they're evolving to be.

[Craig]

That's an indication of domestication.

[Danny Kelly]

Yes.

[DK]

They're evolving to be a. Desired as a pet.

[Danny Kelly]

Desired as a pet. And people. More teeth is like.

[Craig]

They don't chew with their mouth open anymore.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, but like, if you Google raccoons, man, no. These fuckers are cute.

[Craig]

Did you guys ever hear the Nate Bargazzi bit about dogs and how dogs have changed? He's like, they say that you shouldn't let your dog sleep in your bed because then you can't assert dominance anymore. He's like, have you seen dogs these days? He's like, when I was growing up, they were basically just one step down from a wolf. They just lived out in the backyard. Your friend comes over and you're like, should we go out there? He's like, I wouldn't. Dogs these days are like wearing sweaters. They're on your flight. Craig is holding the dog restaurant with you.

[Danny Kelly]

I have. I. Dude, walking.

[Craig]

Didn't you have to hold the dog on a flight?

[DK]

I did. Greta.

[Danny Kelly]

You had to hold the dog on the flight?

[Craig]

You had to hold some stranger's dog?

[DK]

Three hour flight. She passed out next to me. Dude, people walk their dogs in strollers.

[Danny Kelly]

Wait, can you rehash that for people who never heard that story?

[Craig]

Story?

[DK]

I was flying to Utah. Woman next to me, maybe in her 40s, had a bunch of clothes on her lap. Just had all this luggage and this tiny little dog, a little chihuahua named Greta. And Greta kind of sauntered over onto my lap before the plane took off. And she was like, oh, she likes you. And I, you know, I was like, oh, ha, whatever. Assuming that this would be maybe five minutes before Greta goes back onto her owner's lap. Well, the plane, you know, starts picking up speed, getting ready to take off. I look over at this woman, she's passed out.

[Danny Kelly]

Dude, that's.

[DK]

And Greta nestles into my lap. And I held onto her for the entire three hour flight. We landed. She. The woman wakes up and she goes, oh, thank you. And I was like, yep, that's crazy. No problem. She's like, have a good one.

[Danny Kelly]

Was the dog wearing clothes?

[DK]

I don't think so.

[Craig]

Chihuahuas are notoriously, like, mean too, if they're to people that they don't know.

[Danny Kelly]

The dog nice to you?

[DK]

Yeah, it was like terrified. It was on a plane. Was like, where the fuck am I? Why?

[Danny Kelly]

She was pretending to be asleep because she didn't want to deal with it, or do you think she was?

[DK]

No, she seemed. She seemed to sleep, like, barred out. She needed to sleep.

[Craig]

She was more than asleep. Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[DK]

And then when we landed, the guy sitting across the aisle from me as we walked out, he was like, I saw everything that happened. And you're a saint.

[Danny Kelly]

That's good karma.

[Craig]

I like it when people are like, I saw what you just went through.

[Danny Kelly]

I want it known.

[DK]

You are not a hoe.

[Danny Kelly]

Juwan Jennings is a hoe. I want that known.

[DK]

We gotta start calling people hoes. That's. Again, that's.

[Craig]

That's the thing now.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, he's a hoe, and I want that known. Like, I see why he got punched in the nuts.

[DK]

Hold on. Ramondre Stevenson is tearing up the I hate Giants.

[Danny Kelly]

We go back to the dog thing for.

[DK]

Just caught like a 40 yard pass.

[Danny Kelly]

Dude, I. I do. You know, I almost. This was almost my argument against. It was like, Drake May and Mike Ramble are still just better than dart. And like, I still kind of think when the head coach and quarterback are unquestionably better than the other side, just the points are just going to hit.

[Craig]

Why did we bet on this? Oh, God. Yeah, it's.

[DK]

It's 27 to 7 heading into halftime. Potentially more.

[Danny Kelly]

So we got him right where we want him.

[DK]

Is he gonna.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[DK]

So they're gonna kick a field goal, so it's likely gonna be 30 to.

[Craig]

37 and a half.

[DK]

All right.

[Craig]

Do you think Travion Henderson is going to play in the second half?

[DK]

Probably not.

[Craig]

We're going to see a lot of Terrell Jennings.

[DK]

Yeah, I think so, too.

[Craig]

Cool.

[DK]

However, 30 to 7, if this were the Bears, this is where Ben Johnson would say, we got them right where we want them. Yeah. You know, so there is a world in which you're kind of lulling them into a false sense of security. And then this is when you pounce like a hyena.

[Danny Kelly]

Email us if you know anything about hyenas or raccoons.

[DK]

Hello, raccoon pet. They are really cute. The little hands. Their little hands are cute. They're really dexterous with their hands.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, they're getting. They can hold stuff, which is a little creepy in a home. Like, they can hold shit.

[DK]

Yeah, you can, like, give them, like, they can eat M and M's. They just look like a little person.

[Danny Kelly]

It's fucking weird. We're all worried about AI. Meanwhile, the raccoons are going to start living in our houses.

[DK]

They're Cute.

[Craig]

They are very cute.

[DK]

Little trash pant bandits.

[Danny Kelly]

I, I think, I think they're right. I do think they'll end up in homes.

[DK]

I'm like, they look, they're already so close, right. Because they're usually in your side yard digging through your trash. They already know you a little bit.

[Craig]

Well, they're like, yeah. Because they're halfway there when you know, you see a raccoon outside. They don't give a. They're just like hanging out. They don't like run away.

[Danny Kelly]

Squirrels too these days? Yes, city squirrels. Some they don't give a. Like, yeah, for sure.

[DK]

Same with birds. City birds don't give a. Dude. You can kick it and be like, what are you doing?

[Danny Kelly]

Dude, the bird. The underrated part. Especially like New York. Yeah. They don't. They're like, you get the like. Yeah, you scare them away. They're like, you get the out of here.

[DK]

Every bird in New York is like Robert Dairo from Taxi Driver. That like is their mentality. Do you think the raccoons are going to evolve to no longer be nocturnal?

[Danny Kelly]

Oh.

[Craig]

Oh, that's a good question. I don't know.

[Danny Kelly]

That's probably for the.

[Craig]

I hope so. So we could see them more because they're cute as hell.

[Danny Kelly]

Maybe.

[DK]

I mean that would suck if they were sleeping the whole day while and then up all night. That's kind of the worst pet.

[Craig]

That would be a terrible pet, actually.

[DK]

Awful if you're working the.

[Craig]

If you're working the graveyard shift. Raccoon, great pet.

[DK]

You know, like a couple years ago a raccoon got into my wife's parents house and got in a fight with the house cat in the middle of the night and they, they chased each other. The, the raccoon chased the cat around the house. And we woke up in the morning and there was like little raccoon and cat paw prints all over the house and like papers were everywhere. You could basically trace where it went all throughout the house. And then the cat was fine. I don't, I don't know who was chasing who, but the cat seemed fine. And then. So we wake up the next morning.

[Danny Kelly]

How did this not wake you up?

[DK]

I don't know. It's a good question.

[Craig]

I imagine the sounds of that must have been horrifying.

[DK]

It was all downstairs and everybody was sleeping upstairs, so I guess they didn't hear it. But the next day, the next day we're all hanging out. It's the morning. I don't know, it's like 10am or something. And we hear a loud shriek from the master bathroom upstairs from Liz's mom and me, and Liz and her dad grab golf clubs and run upstairs, and the raccoon is in the bathroom. And she opened the door to go into the bathroom and saw the raccoon and immediately shut it and screamed. And the raccoon was in there for, like, four hours. We had to call animal control. This woman came. She had, like, a popular TikTok account. So she was, like, filming herself doing it, and she, like, wrangled, like, wrangled the raccoon, put it. Put it in a little kennel and took it out.

[Craig]

The thing with, like, the hook where they get it by the neck. Yeah.

[DK]

There's a video of it.

[Danny Kelly]

You.

[DK]

You can find her TikTok and you.

[Danny Kelly]

Can find this TikTok.

[DK]

You can. I'll do it. I'll find it. But, yeah, so that thing literally, like, you know, fought Liz's cat and then came upstairs and went into the master bathroom. Probably, like, drink water on the toilet. I have no idea. And then just hunker down there for the night.

[Danny Kelly]

Kind of did the hard part for you, though, putting it in the bathroom.

[DK]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, yeah, it was.

[Craig]

Honestly, I guess you locked it in there.

[Danny Kelly]

Maybe the cat is just the cat. The cat must have been so. Cats are hard.

[Craig]

Cats are fucking crazy.

[DK]

Cats.

[Craig]

All they do all day is just go hunt and kill things.

[Danny Kelly]

What I love about cat, cats, domesticated people. Like, cats. Cats are in charge of people.

[Craig]

I know, right? Well, that's what I was. I said this on a recent show. Cats just set up franchises. Every cat I've ever freaking seen has, like, four houses where they get food and can hang out. My buddies. My buddy's house has a cat from the neighborhood who apparently this cat lives in a house with, like, eight kids. And the cat just comes over to their house to get some peace and quiet. Like, watch sports in the garage, Pants watching the game. Just. I'm having a beer. Leave me alone.

[DK]

Ruckus across the street.

[Craig]

I can't live in that chaos.

[DK]

To kept some peace and quiet. Read a book. Oh, that's really funny.

[Danny Kelly]

But you. This cat, like, cracking a beard, like.

[DK]

Oh, maybe that's what the raccoon wanted. He just wanted to sit on the john.

[Craig]

Seriously, it's like, the only place in this world you can get some peace and quiet.

[DK]

I'll send that TikTok.

[Danny Kelly]

I'll find it.

[Craig]

Yeah, Cool.

[Danny Kelly]

All right. Oh, I didn't do the thank yous. Wow. We're still in the show. That's crazy.

[Craig]

All right.

[Danny Kelly]

Thank you, dk. Thank you, Craig. Thank you, Isaiah. Thank you, Kai Carlos, Ronick Austin. Thank you, everyone for listening. Thank you. Email swingerfancy football gmail.com for trivia and raccoons. I don't even know about the hyenas anymore. I kind of did this raccoon. I kind of want stories of animals trapped in your home. I like that. Crazy stories of animals in your home. Thank you, Lord, Lord.

[Craig]

Thank you. The Knife.

[DK]

One of these days you're gonna have to mix in a big one.

[Danny Kelly]

I think I've won for the last 10. And even knowing what bad he's talking about.

[Craig]

Yeah, absolutely not great.

[DK]

This is like when Settle does like.

[Craig]

Like you want me to say the fucking Beatles again?

[DK]

This is like when Bill does pump up the volume on the rewatchables or like a movie that you like, literally can't even find online.

[Craig]

Right? Right.

[DK]

Who is the Knife? We never talked about them.

[Craig]

Well, I did.

[Danny Kelly]

The Young Way KU Ran.

[Craig]

Swedish electronic music duo. I'm just reading their Wikipedia right now. From Gothenburg or Gothenburg. I don't know how you say that.

[DK]

Do you not know who they are?

[Craig]

No, I know who they are. I know of their music. I've listened to it. In fact, I enjoy it. I don't know if I celebrate their entire catalog, but the song that I listen to is called Heartbeats and I believe you probably recognize it. It. Okay, maybe not.

[DK]

I don't know. What era are we in with this band?

[Craig]

We're like early or like early aughts, late 90s.

[DK]

This is what you would put on when you were out looking for some strange.

[Danny Kelly]

Absolutely.

[DK]

Roll the windows down looking for some strange. Put your ear ring in Craig's.

[Craig]

Like the whole. Craig's doing the whole. I'm out looking for some strange. Sorry, I put up the three fingers like from Inglorious Basterds. Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

An earring.

[Craig]

Put in my earring. I'm going to put in my earring.

[DK]

I hear there's some hot strange out tonight, boys.

[Craig]

You ever just grab a boob and it feels like a bag of sand?

[DK]

Oh, all right.

[Danny Kelly]

Goodbye, everyone. Must be 21 + in present in select states for Kansas, an affiliation with Kansas Star Casino or 18 + in present in D.C. kentucky or Wyoming. Gambling problem. Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit rg-help.com call 1-888-7897-7771, or visit ccpg.org chat in Connecticut or visit mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland. Hope is here, visit gamblinghelplinema.org or call 800-327-5050 for 24. 7 support in Massachusetts or call 1-87-7-8, Hopeny or text Hopeny in New York.