Super Bowl Preview: Darnold's Destiny, Underdog Patriots, and Motorcycle Jousting

Summary

The Ringer Fantasy Football Show

Episode: Super Bowl Preview – Darnold's Destiny, Underdog Patriots, and Motorcycle Jousting
Date: February 2, 2026
Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, Craig Horlbeck

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Overview

This episode dives deep into Super Bowl 60, featuring the Seattle Seahawks versus the New England Patriots—two remarkably unlikely participants, both entering the season at 60:1 or worse odds to make the big game. The hosts dissect the improbable journeys of both teams, the redemption arc of Sam Darnold, the resurgence of the Patriots with rookie head coach Mike Vrabel and quarterback Drake Maye, and the wild narratives (and memes) driving public sentiment. They discuss why watching your team in the big game is both agony and ecstasy, examine key on-field matchups, debate “luck” versus “skill” in postseason runs, and, as always, take fun detours on everything from motorcycle jousting to the (lack of) appeal of the Pro Bowl.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Emotional Toll of Being a Fan

• DK admits he’s too nervous to attend the Super Bowl in person—he prefers to watch from afar, away from crowds (03:51).
  • “I think I would be too nervous. I like watching from afar. It's actually too stressful for me to be around people during these games. I'm kind of a miserable jerk.” – Danny Kelly [03:51]
• The hosts riff on “pre-loss clarity,” the idea that anxiety overshadows the potential joy of a win (05:02).

2. How Did These Teams Get Here?

The Sam Darnold Renaissance

• Sam Darnold’s journey from NFL punchline to NFC champion is at the heart of the discussion.
  • “If any team could have signed Sam Darnold, I cannot stress that enough.... He makes 33 mil a year, but he's the 18th-highest-paid veteran QB out of 20.” – Bill Simmons [09:14]
  • Darnold is the first QB from the 2018 draft class to reach the Super Bowl, ahead of Baker, Allen, and Lamar (27:49).
  • DK likens Darnold’s career arc to Steve Young’s late breakout (albeit with caution—Young is a Hall of Famer; Darnold is just getting started) (29:01).

The Underdog Patriots

• The Patriots are compared to their own 2001 Cinderella run: no stars, a “patched-together” roster (Stefon Diggs at 32, two rookie linemen, cast-off receivers), and an unproven QB (Drake Maye) (14:00+).
  • “This team has a lot in common, unfortunately, with the 2001 Patriots, where it's kind of weird that they're here. ... We're calling you frauds because what else are we going to say?” – Bill Simmons [15:59]
• The hosts break down the Patriots' famously “easy” schedule—and acknowledge just how many bad teams and backup QBs they faced (17:25).

3. Is Luck or Skill the Real Secret?

• Schedule Luck: Patriots faced 11 teams who fired their head coach, matching a record set by the 1925 Frankfurt Yellow Jackets (18:33).
  • “Every team gets lucky. But this is crazy.” – Bill Simmons [18:30]
• Even so, the hosts credit Mike Vrabel for maintaining excellence, not letting the team slip up: “Vrabel is the new Bill Parcells, man, I really feel that way.” – Bill Simmons [22:13]

4. The Matchup: Seahawks vs. Patriots

Seattle: “Destiny” or Just Damn Good?

• By DVOA (a nerdy advanced analytics stat), the Seahawks are the 5th-best team ever, though it “doesn’t feel that way” (11:40).
  • “The 2013 Seahawks felt like a team of destiny. The Seahawks this year just feel really, really good.” – Danny Kelly [13:18]
• Seattle has hit on nearly all their draft picks, rebuilt faster than anyone thought possible after trading key stars, and boast a healthy, balanced lineup (10:32).

New England: Playing Loose and Dangerous

• Patriots are the “nobody believed in us” team; the pressure and expectations are all on Seattle (37:57).
  • “This is gravy. If we lose, we were supposed to lose, big deal. But if we win this, this validates everything.” – Craig Horlbeck [37:57]
• Vrabel’s week-to-week coaching is hailed as elite: “He’s the new Parcells” (22:13).

X’s and O’s

• Key Seattle Advantages:

  • Defensive line vs. Patriots’ weak O-line, especially interior pressure (35:04)
  • Darnold’s play-action game vs. a Patriots defense strong against play-action (46:26)
  • If Darnold plays “mistake-free” football, Seahawks should be fine (35:04; 36:57)

• Key New England Paths to Victory:

  • Blitz heavy—Darnold has struggled against the blitz; the Rams erred by not bringing enough heat in the NFC Title game (47:28)
  • Need to force mistakes from Darnold, but Maye must avoid matching turnovers (49:11)
  • Milton Williams’s performance at DT could be the “Chris Jones” factor (21:09)

• Both coaches are praised: Mike McDonald is projected to be “the next defensive wizard,” but will have to avoid a “Sean McVay in his first Super Bowl” meltdown (41:13)

• Both teams have excellent special teams, possibly leading to a low-scoring, field-position game (35:04, 48:25)

5. The Narrative Stakes

• If the Patriots win, they break the tie for most Super Bowls (7)—all within the past 25 years, “basically a Super Bowl every 3 or 4 seasons for the entire 21st century” (24:01).
  • “This Patriots run started... before Drake Maye was born. ... This entire thing is in his life, which is crazy.” – Bill Simmons [24:01]
• The Sam Darnold story would be one of the all-time NFL redemption arcs (“Darnold will become a verb” – 24:44)

6. Memorable Historical References

• 2019 “Seeing Ghosts” game resurrected: Darnold’s infamous meltdown against the Patriots is relived in excruciating detail (25:23)
  • "He was 11 for 32, 86 yards, four interceptions, a lost fumble, and an intentional safety. ... Passer rating: 3.7." – Craig Horlbeck [26:03]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “The best thing you can do is have Patrick Mahomes... but it also works to build the best roster and be at the cutting edge of scheme and have a good-enough quarterback. That’s what the Seahawks have done.” – Bill Simmons [10:32]
• On Darnold becoming an NFL verb: “People are going to talk about ‘the Darnold’—the bust who comes back from the dead.” – Craig Horlbeck [24:44]
• “Watching your team in the big game is the most nerve-wracking experience. The upside of being there for them winning is not worth the misery of being there with them losing.” – Craig Horlbeck [04:40]
• On the Patriots’ schedule: “Week one: coach fired. Week two: coach fired. Week three: coach fired...” – Craig Horlbeck [17:25]

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Timestamps and Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment / Quote | |-----------|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------| | 03:51 | DK: “Too nervous to attend in person” – on Super Bowl fan anxiety | | 05:02 | "Pre-loss clarity" concept discussed | | 06:36 | DK: "Highly unlikely matchup… two teams with 60-1 odds" | | 09:14 | Darnold’s contract and improbable journey; opportunity available to any team | | 11:40 | DVOA: Seahawks among greatest teams ever? | | 14:00 | Patriots’ “patched-together” roster rundown | | 17:25 | Craig reads the famous "Patriots’ schedule of fired coaches" viral post | | 18:33 | Patriots tied for most games vs coaches fired the following year (since 1925) | | 22:13 | Bill: “Vrabel is the new Parcells.” | | 24:01 | If the Patriots win—7th Super Bowl, all in last 25 years | | 24:44 | The “Sam Darnold will become a verb” discussion | | 25:23 | Rehashing Darnold’s “seeing ghosts” disaster against the Patriots | | 29:01 | Steve Young and Brad Johnson as rare career-comeback examples for Darnold comparison | | 35:04 | DK: "If Darnold plays relatively mistake-free football, Seahawks will be fine" | | 37:57 | Patriots’ “gravy” narrative—nothing to lose, pressure on Seattle | | 41:13 | McDonald's inexperience could be an X factor, compared to McVay/Belichick Super Bowl | | 46:26 | "Darnold one of the best in play action, but Patriots best at defending play action” | | 47:28 | Patriots’ increased blitzing, Darnold’s past struggles against pressure | | 48:25 | Seahawks' RB pass protection concerns with Charbonnet out | | 49:54 | Patriots' playoff offense: Only 15 points per game | | 50:36 | What does Seattle need to score to win? 16–24 points is probably enough | | 52:24 | Seahawks reportedly going up for sale after Super Bowl | | 55:05 | Riffing on the Pro Bowl’s lack of relevance | | 71:11 | Movie soundtracks tangent – period dramas with modern music | | 73:38 | Motorcycle jousting as a future “Olympic event” (and business idea!) |

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Fun & Offbeat Detours

• Motorcycle jousting in the Olympics (73:38):
  • “We should cut this from the show, start a business: motorcycle jousting.”
• Gatorade color prop bets and American cuisine (62:37)
• Whether cereal is truly America’s greatest food invention (64:11)
• Riffs on GPA inflation and the absurdity of college admissions compared to prior generations (79:03)
• Reminiscing and joking about fantasy punishments, LARPing, and chainmail armor (76:07)

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Conclusion

The episode delivers a rich, stats-filled, and genuinely funny preview for a historically improbable Super Bowl matchup. The discussions cover not just on-the-field matchups but also broader fan psychology, NFL history, and the ongoing debate between “luck” and “skill” in championship runs. The hosts are self-deprecating, honest about their biases (especially as Seahawks fans), and grounded in both hard analysis (DVOA, depth charts, schedules) and the ridiculousness that makes NFL fandom so fun.

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Quick Reference – Hosts’ Picks/Predictions

• All expect a Seahawks win if Darnold avoids major mistakes.
• Patriots’ path: Defensive havoc, capitalizing on Darnold mistakes, and Vrabel’s coaching edge.
• X-factor: Pressure on Seattle as favorites, with the entire nation likely rooting for the Darnold redemption story over another Patriots title.

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For further questions or to contribute to the motorcycle jousting business plan, email the show.

Transcript

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[Bill Simmons]

This episode is brought to you by Velveeta. Game day is all about the tailgate spread. First things first, who's bringing the Velveeta drip? Just like your favorite players on the field, Velveeta fans go all in on what they love. Creamy shells and cheese, melty Velveeta blocks and cheesy jarred quesos. They're taking down one taste bud at a time. Velveeta is the real MVP of the tailgate. You've got to respect the drip. Do yourself a favor and stock up on Velveeta before kickoff. Welcome to the Ringer fantasy football show. My name is Danny Hydrants and I am joined by Danny Kelly and Craig Horobeck and we are pretty Previewing Super Bowl 60. I'll be honest, I'm a little rattled right now. DK's favorite team, the Seattle Seahawks, are in the Super Bowl. My favorite team, the New York Giants, are in the Epstein files.

[Danny Kelly]

Okay. Okay.

[Craig Horlbeck]

So I just taped to rewatchables. I've kind of been in a dungeon for the last three hours and I emerged seeing the Giants are associated with the Epstein list. Can somebody tell me what's going on?

[Bill Simmons]

You know what I would also like? Someone tell me what's going on.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Give me a rundown here. Tish. I see the name Tish is involved. Is that the guy from the NYU Tisch school of.

[Bill Simmons]

Yes, that. That's the family. So the Giants are owned by two families. The one you hear about mostly is John Mayer, the mayor of family. And then the Tisch family owns the other half. They actually sold a piece of it to the Koch brothers, one of their widows. So that those are the three owners. But the Tish's and Mara's on the team. And I'll give you the too long, don't read a lot of tech recommendation.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Too long, don't read.

[Bill Simmons]

Don't, don't read. I'm reading from the New York Times. This is from the New York Times, baby. One of the story ends with a email that Jeffrey Epstein wrote to Steve Tisch that says, quote, I am happy to have you as a new but dot, dot, dot, shared interest friend.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Holy moly.

[Bill Simmons]

You know, so that, you know, that happened. Okay.

[Craig Horlbeck]

You know, I'm feeling pretty good about Mike McCarthy to the Steelers. I feel like we're a solid organization.

[Bill Simmons]

Have the jets passed the Giants? I think, yeah, you know, quite possibly. Strange day.

[Craig Horlbeck]

All right.

[Bill Simmons]

You know what? Otherwise, so, yeah. Dk, you feeling better about the Seahawks? I don't want to hear anyone complain anymore about their teams.

[Danny Kelly]

I'm feeling pretty good about the Seahawks. Yeah. Seahawks are in Super Bowl 60. That's pretty cool. Still really hasn't sunk in for me quite yet that. Yeah.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Um, do you wish you were going to the game? Does any part of you want to go to the game or.

[Danny Kelly]

No, not really.

[Craig Horlbeck]

No.

[Danny Kelly]

I think I would be too nervous. I like, this is like how I am as a fan. I like watching from afar. I don't really usually. It's actually too stressful for me to be around people during these games. I'm kind of a miserable jerk. We don't talk about games are close.

[Bill Simmons]

Watching your favorite teams play sports when it matters sucks. It's the worst experience. It's like fun in theory, but watch it. I, I do. I've never watched an important Giants game with other people that weren't rooting for the Giants.

[Craig Horlbeck]

And I would continue that by saying attending a game, an important game involving your favorite team is even worse. And I. There are people like SDSU made the national championship and my buddy was like, do you want to go? And I was like, hell no.

[Danny Kelly]

Hell no.

[Craig Horlbeck]

The upside of being there for them winning is not worth the misery of being there with them losing. And they lost by like 20 to Yukon. I'm like, that would have fucking sucked. My flight home would have sucked. My hotel that night would have sucked. Not worth it. I'd rather watch at home.

[Bill Simmons]

It's. It is so nerve wracking watching your team. You think about the ecstasies like when it's over. But like, yeah, it's, it's. It's insane.

[Craig Horlbeck]

So it's pre, pre loss clarity or something. I know what it's called.

[Bill Simmons]

Pre loss Clarity. Yeah. All right, let's get into every Super Bowl 60, but I want to start with a relevant piece of news, which there's a lot of news around the NFL. Too much, if you ask me. But I want to start with the Vikings fired the general manager, Quesia Delfomenza, which was pretty shocking timing because, again, the season ended three weeks ago, and we don't have to get into Questy's whole tenure as the Vikings gm. The too long don't read again is the. The kind of sucked. The Vikings have missed a ton of picks. Frankly, there's not many picks the Vikings GM has made that are still on the team. Not many guys, not as many as they should be still in the NFL. But let's be honest. The Vikings fired their GM because Sam Darnold's in the Super Bowl.

[Danny Kelly]

Right. And optics matter.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, the Vikings owner came out, was like, this wasn't about one decision. Well, the timing is most certainly about one thing that happened, which was that Sam Darnold won 14 games for the Vikings, left in free agency for nothing, won another 14 games with the Seahawks, who made the Super Bowl. Again, the list of quarterbacks who've won 14 games back to back years for two different teams is just. Or two teams ever. It's just like Bait Manning, Tom Brady and Sam Darnold. So I don't want to spend too much time in the Vikings. We'll get to all these other teams in the offseasons. We have all off season for that. I think it's worth remembering that while it's easy to dance on the grave of, like, how'd you let Sam Darnold go? When I saw this headline in dk, I thought it was worth remembering how unlikely this whole super bowl is between Seattle and New England. And I think Sam Darnold is merely the unlikely face of a very unlikely super bowl matchup.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, I mean this. And I saw this from Mike Sando actually, at the Athletic. This is the first. This is the Super bowl where two teams entered the season 60 to one or worse odds. This is the first time that's happened since, I think, 89.

[Bill Simmons]

He said, I have the Seahawks to win the Super Bowl. It's 70 to 1.

[Danny Kelly]

I can't believe that. First of all, that's awesome.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Good for you.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm not good at betting, so that. That's not a brag. That's a. That is probably a bad bet, right?

[Danny Kelly]

But, yeah, this is the longest odds for. For two super bowl teams that we've ever seen. So this is a highly, highly unlikely matchup between two teams. I think most people were kind of thinking would be, I think if you go back to the beginning of the season, the CX had just traded away the starting quarterback. They just traded away their superstar receiver and DK Metcalf. I think there was a open mindedness that Sam Darnold could kind of continue to do what he did with Minnesota, but the way that he finished last season was really critical here. I mean he completely fell apart in the playoffs and so I think there was open mindedness. But for, I mean, for speaking for me, I was like pretty critical of the move. I thought it was a really risky move to kind of do that, get rid of your starting quarterback and bring in a different guy who'd kind of just melted down, I thought against the.

[Bill Simmons]

Rams, who were your biggest rival in the division along with the night and.

[Danny Kelly]

You know, credit to the Seahawks that these, that move in particular looks like one of the smartest moves we saw this whole year. I mean, truly with the way that things went for Gino Smith in Las Vegas compared to what how it went with Darnold, I mean it's one of the best moves of all time. Maybe.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Like truly, I mean the Raiders have the first pick in the draft and the Seahawks, I don't have the last.

[Danny Kelly]

It's crazy.

[Bill Simmons]

Win the Super Bowl. It gen. It truly is on the short list of the best decisions a team's ever made in any sport. If they, any, any team could have signed Sam Darnold, I cannot stress that enough. They didn't that much money.

[Danny Kelly]

The other wrinkle to this whole thing, which is kind of ironic and funny is I, I at the time was like, you know, they're bringing in Clint Kubiak who had a solid first half of the season with New Orleans and then everything fell apart. We don't really know that much about him. So to me on, on the hole it was basically you're bringing in this pretty unproven offensive coordinator with a quarterback who has a history of completely melting down. I don't know how this is going to go. I'm scared. That was kind of like my sort of position at the time. Now Sam Darnold coming off one of the greatest performances we've ever seen in NFC championship game to send the Seahawks to the Super Bowl. Clint Kubiak is going to be coaching the Raiders probably next year who are the first overall pick in large part because Geno Smith completely melted down like the, the parallels and sort of the sliding doors are pretty crazy about this whole situation. We don't know yet where Kubiak is going to be.

[Bill Simmons]

But I, I can't stress enough. I know Darnold, he makes 33 million a year, which I know that sounds like a tremendous amount, but considering how important quarterback is, if you take out the quarterbacks and rookie contracts, because those contracts are like pre negotiated. If you just look at starting quarter, there's only 20 quarterbacks in the NFL that like are on veteran contracts. Darnold, even as a free agent has, is the 18th highest paid quarterback of the 20. The only quarterbacks actually paid less. Or Baker Mayfield who basically makes the same amount of money and then Justin fields. The other 17 quarterbacks are paid more than Sam Darnold. And so anybody really could have had him if they wanted him.

[Danny Kelly]

But to me, including the Vikings.

[Bill Simmons]

Including the Vikings. Can't stress enough. Including the Vikings.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Especially the Vikings.

[Bill Simmons]

I mean it's, it's, it's amazing. But if you just.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Well, it's also one of those things where Heifetz, you've talked about nature versus nurture and the. Sam Darnold is a great example of that. Sam Darnold landing in Seattle, I would say is a large part of the reason why Sam Darnold is good. If Sam Darnold left Minnesota and went to back to the jets or went to the Raiders or something like that, he might have been terrible and he could have, his career could have fallen off a cliff for a second time.

[Bill Simmons]

You don't think he's the 1 seed in super bowl if he signs with the Jets?

[Craig Horlbeck]

I'm just saying it's like, it's so, it's funny that we're like, oh, Sam Darnold, one of the best contracts now at quarterback. That is true. But that is also true because he's on the Seahawks, not just because he's Sam Darnold.

[Bill Simmons]

It's a reminder that like the best thing you could do is have Patrick Mahomes and just have the best. And most clutches get like the Michael Jordan of your sport or have Tom Brady or something. But the reality is it also works to just build the best roster and be at the cutting edge of, of scheme and then have a quarterback who's good enough. And that's what the Seahawks have done with Mike McDonald where they have this defense that's incredible, all pretty freaking healthy. And then they have an offensive quarter that's maximizing talent everywhere. And honestly, everyone's pretty freaking healthy on the Seahawks. And I, I mean they've just Hit a lot of picks. I mean, honestly, the Vikings GM got fired because they haven't hit any picks. The Seals have hit.

[Danny Kelly]

Like, they've hit, like, almost all their picks over the last few years, which is crazy.

[Bill Simmons]

Every super bowl team has that in common. As much as we talked about the Chiefs almost repeating, they hit every defensive pick they made for four drafts in a row for Kansas City. That's how they made the Super. Kept making the Super Bowls. And, like, that is every super bowl team. It's like, have the best quarterback or hit all of your picks.

[Craig Horlbeck]

It's not that different from the Seahawks 10 years ago. It's like the Legion of Boom with Russell Young, Russell Wilson. There are similarities there. It made me want to ask you, dk, which Seahawks, super bowl winning team is better? This year's super bowl or this year's team or the team that beat the Broncos?

[Danny Kelly]

I mean, I probably would take the team that beat the Broncos. DVOA would tell you. It's the opposite, though. DVOA tells you this is one of the greatest teams of all time. Actually, according to the DVOA history, this is the fifth. They're tied for the fifth best team of all time in DVOA, including playoffs. So there's the 91 Redskins, the 85 Bears, the 2007 Patriots, 1989, 49ers, and then they're tied with the 96 packers for fifth on that list.

[Craig Horlbeck]

So I gotta be honest, it doesn't feel that way.

[Danny Kelly]

I know.

[Bill Simmons]

I totally agree. I love.

[Danny Kelly]

I agree with that.

[Bill Simmons]

I think they're gonna win. That's not the case.

[Danny Kelly]

I think what it does tell you is a couple of things. Number one, I think if you look at.

[Craig Horlbeck]

For nerds, watch. If you look.

[Danny Kelly]

Well, first of all, they're very balanced. I think that's. That's one thing that is captured here is on special teams, the offense and defense, they're very strong in all three phases. I think that's really important. But the other thing here is, if you look at the Seahawks schedule, and I don't have it pulled up in front of me right now, but they had a murderer's row of playoff teams, and they won almost all those games. They. They had an incredibly difficult schedule this season, and they just mowed down on almost everybody that they played, and even when they lost, it was at the last minute kind of one. You know, the way the ball bounced or whatever, there's a few really weird games this season, and so I think that tells you. And again, DVOA is just giving you context for how good a team is relative to the, to the teams that they played. You know what I mean? And so I think I agree with you. It doesn't feel like they're the fifth best team of all time. It just doesn't feel that way.

[Craig Horlbeck]

But like I would have said the Eagles last year were the fifth best of all time. Right? That felt right to me.

[Danny Kelly]

The 2013 Seahawks felt like a team of destiny. The Seahawks this year just feel really, really good. But that being said, I mean that I, you know, that's the stats.

[Bill Simmons]

It's like anything else, though. It's how it ends. It's like everyone's mad at Game of Thrones because it ended poorly. Everyone knows Harry Potter because it ended great. And it's. The Seahawks are not considered a great team if they don't destroy the Broncos in the Super Bowl. The Eagles are not considered an all time great team if they don't obliterate and embarrass and pants the Kansas City Chiefs in the Super Bowl. Like that is the essential part. And I do think that's why DVA is factoring in is because they destroyed the Niners in the divisional round. So I want to get into, I want to. I kind of thought it'd be interesting to look at the lens of these games of just how if Seattle won what happened and if the Patriots won what happened and what do we think might happen? But first I wanted to just reiterate how unlikely it is that these teams got here. And to DK's point, about like the 60 to 1 I got Seahawks at 70 to 1 to win the Super Bowl. The Patriots were 80 to 1. And I guess there's so much talk about the Patriots being frauds in their schedule and everything which I do want to go through and read, which is. But I just want to remind people it's not just the schedule thing. And people picked the Patriots to make the playoffs because they had the easiest schedule. We knew that in January when their opponents came out. We knew that in May when the schedule came out with everything just because of that lineup. But it's worth remembering Drake entering this just to look at the Patriot starters. Drake May was a second year quarterback who had had one win as a starter. The quarterback had won one game right. Their left tackle was a rookie. The left guards of rookie. The question with New England entering the off season last year was do they have the worst offensive line in the entire NFL? Their number one receiver, Stefan Diggs, who'd been on three teams in three years is 32 years old coming off of torn ACLs on a snap count. Matt Collins was thrown off, thrown overboard by the Buffalo Bills receiver corps. Matt Collins was not brought back to the Bills receiver corps. K Sean booty is a 6th round player who had a gambling addiction in college that he's spoken about. You have like that. Like this team is. You go through every single position. Ramandre Stevenson led all running backs and fumbles in 2024 and then fumbled five, three times in the first five weeks of 2025. Like every part of the team was a weakness. And it is weird that they're here and so I just. It's so the whole thing. Oh, they're frauds. It's like, no, this team has a lot, unfortunately in common with the 2001 Patriots where it's kind of weird that they're here. And I don't want to be like, Patriots fans should be grateful. But yeah, no one expected this to happen and that's okay. And we're calling you frauds because it's like, what else are we going to say? Yeah, you're the greatest team ever and here you are again. It's the only thing we can fricking say to cope.

[Danny Kelly]

This is a perfect example of why the NFL is the most unpredictable sport, I think. Yeah. If you look at the sea. I've said this a couple times on the show. The Seahawks had the same over, under total according to Vegas, as the Cardinals, who won how many games they win this year? 3. Like nobody knows anything.

[Bill Simmons]

Idiots. That the ringer picked the Cardinals to make the playoffs instead of the Seahawks. Can we find those people?

[Danny Kelly]

I'm not going to name names, but. But I remember seeing that factoid and I was.

[Bill Simmons]

I don't know. Some, I think.

[Craig Horlbeck]

But if you add the Seahawks wins of this year to the Cardinals wins of this year, 14 and three, that. That is about eight and a half each. That does work out. So Vegas was kind of on it.

[Danny Kelly]

Right?

[Craig Horlbeck]

You know what I mean?

[Danny Kelly]

So true. True.

[Craig Horlbeck]

You can't really be upset about that.

[Bill Simmons]

No, it's true. I. Well, I'm a little upset. I went on the Shields show and said the Cardinals would make the Super Bowl.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Sorry, I think I said the Raiders would make the playoffs. It's all fine.

[Danny Kelly]

I picked Pete Carroll to be the coach of the year, so.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Dude, the Patriots lost to the team that will. That has the first pick in the draft in week one.

[Bill Simmons]

Crazy.

[Danny Kelly]

Stop the count after week one, man. Pete Carroll's coach of the Year.

[Craig Horlbeck]

The Patriots lost To the Raiders. They beat the Dolphins by six and then they lost to the Steelers. They were one and two and then have gone 16 and one since. And we should go through this list. Not exactly a gauntlet.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, please. Craig, will you do, do the, do the viral post that went. Please read the Patriots. I have. I'll set it to you right now. You see this?

[Craig Horlbeck]

No, I think I, I, I should have it. This is. If you haven't seen this yet, I'm going to read the Patriots schedule in terms of what happened to their coach or what division they were in. You'll get the gist of what I'm doing. Patriots strength is scheduled. Week one, a coach that was fired this year. Week two, they played a team whose coach was fired. Week three, a team whose coach was fired. Week four, played the NFC south team. Week five, they played a coach who was fired. Week six, another NFC south team. Week seven, eight, nine, all teams who fired their coach. Week 10, NFC South. Week 11, the Jets. Week 12, the Bengals without Joe Burrow or Jamar Chase. Weeks 13, 15 and 16, coaches that were fired. Week 17, the jets and Week 18, team that fired their coach. I mean, and then you can keep, I mean, and then they go into the playoffs and they play Justin Herbert with no offensive line, seven string left tackle for the CJ Stroud disaster, and then Jared Stidham. So it's, it's an, it, it is an all time run. This.

[Bill Simmons]

Every team gets lucky. But this is crazy.

[Danny Kelly]

From, From Doug Claussen, the 2025 Patriots, 11 games versus teams who did not return their head coach following season, tied for most of any team in the NFL history, which seems obvious. The 1925 Frankfurt Yellow Jackets also had 11, not including teams that folded the fight the following year, they just stopped being a team.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, the jets might fold next year, so that. Hold on, let me fold the 1920. Were you joking about that?

[Danny Kelly]

No, no, no. This is from Doug Claussen.

[Bill Simmons]

The 1925 Frank Ford Yellow Jackets.

[Danny Kelly]

Frankfurt.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, God. They had a wide back named Tex Hammer.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Oh my God.

[Danny Kelly]

Was he related to Dick playing wide back? 1M.

[Bill Simmons]

Texhammer. Bull beaman. That Tex Hammer. Bull. Beaming guy. Chamberlain. They got someone named Two Bits. Homan.

[Danny Kelly]

We've talked about this guy.

[Bill Simmons]

His name's Two Bits.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Wait, I want to go back to Bull. What do you mean Bull?

[Bill Simmons]

His name's Bull. Not Bull, like Bull.

[Danny Kelly]

Like a B, L Bull. Yeah, yeah, Bull.

[Bill Simmons]

And then Two Bits. His name, his name's Two Bit.

[Danny Kelly]

We've talked about him before, Iitz.

[Bill Simmons]

I, I don't I would remember two bits. He was born in 1898.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Well we he was so bad he got Coach Fart.

[Danny Kelly]

He was five five.

[Craig Horlbeck]

That's like Benson Boone.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. Two bits helmet Flippy boy.

[Craig Horlbeck]

That's little Flippy boy.

[Bill Simmons]

Flippy boy.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Five Crows is bigger than that.

[Bill Simmons]

Five five is like Sabrina Carpenter is like five five. I guess she's five zero. That's incredible. I okay, so I don't remember. Oh yeah. So can we just not pretend that the every team gets lucky and every every team that's ever won the championship in any sport has gotten lucky along the way and had backup quarterbacks here. It's all we can also admit that this Patriots thing is like a legendary easy run. It's kind of like fantasy football. Every year there are sites you can plug your like you can plug like an app extension to put your league data in there. Some people want to I know someone who showed me that they won their league and they're like I'm the ultimate fraud. Because if they had played anyone else's schedule they like wouldn't have made the playoffs. 11 other schedules like just the order that they had played the other opponents, they would not have made it. But their schedule, they won the championship. And that's a little bit this. Having said that, I also stand by the fact that I think Mike Frabel is the best gate week to week game planning coach in the NFL.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Well because like all of these things can be true and what you outlined is like it's not like their talent is super bowl worthy. So you have to give variable credit for him elevating the floor of this team. Even though they've played a lot of bad teams. The fact that Vrabel has not allowed them to slip up pretty much once this entire season is extremely impressive.

[Bill Simmons]

That's the thing. And that all these things can be true. The Patriots talent wise are not a Super bowl team. They're barely a playoff team. They had any. But Vrabel, dude, the we don't again. The Patriots lost 14 games last year. Did they not like and they're in the Super Bowl. That's crazy. But Vrabel brought in. It's not the free agents they brought in or Milton Williams, the defensive we're going to talk about. I think he's really good the entire game. Like if the Patriots win they need him to be Chris Jones and in that first Chiefs Niners super bowl they need him to be like Kirkland Brand, Aaron Donald and I think Milton Williams and that he's the Key to the game, I think. But they brought in like, Diggs because they wanted Chris Godwin and he went back to Tampa Bay to rehab. So they got Diggs as their second choice. They brought in Robert sp, all these guys who played under Vrabel, Harold Landry, who's a Titans cast off, and then like Robert Spillane and like, these weren't highly valued guys. They were high character guys that Vrabel had specific visions for about how they would play. But yeah, I'm like, yeah, the Patriots shouldn't be here, but they are here because Mike Vrabel is fucking incredible. And he's like, the new I. Vrabel is the new Mike Bill Parcells, man, I really feel that way.

[Danny Kelly]

I, I want to. I gotta say though, after kind of, you know, talking about how great the Seahawks are according to evoa, it is notable that the Patriots are peaking at an exact right time. This is this in terms of weighted dvoa, which takes into account more recent games. The Patriots are the number two team in dvoa. The Seahawks are number one, Patriots are number two. This is, this team is playing really well. And dvoa, by the way, takes into account strength of schedule. So this is a team that's playing really, really well at the exact right time. This is in terms of the difference between their DVOA at the beginning of the season versus the difference at the end of the season. This is, according to Aaron Schatz, the widest gap in terms of performance, early season to late season of any team since 1978. So they are, they have.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Whatever.

[Danny Kelly]

Maybe this is just the, the variable thing. They've completely bought into what he's. What he's coaching. The defense has gotten so much better from the beginning of the season to the end of the season. We've seen what they've done over the last couple of games and yeah, I mean, this team is playing really, really well at the exact right time. So I, I feel like we can talk about the schedule and everything, but this is still a team that's playing extremely well right now. Despite, you know, I guess they're what seems like a lack. Lack of the talent disparity is pretty pretty dramatic, it feels like, between the two teams. But they're. The way that they're playing right now, anything could happen.

[Craig Horlbeck]

This might go without saying, but I don't know if we've actually said this on the podcast. Have we said that if the Patriots win this game, they'll have seven Super Bowls, which will be the most of any franchise in the NFL. Have we said that yet?

[Danny Kelly]

No.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, right now, the person, the team with the most Super Bowls in NFL history is Tom Brady, who is more than any individual team, which I don't think gets talked about enough. That's. To me, that's Brady's case over Michael Jordan is Tom Brady currently has more super bowl wins than any individual team.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah, Brady has seven. But the Steelers and Patriots are tied with six.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Craig Horlbeck]

So I, I kind of feel like we haven't just discussed that. If the Patriots win this, they'll have the most in the NFL and all.

[Bill Simmons]

Of them will be in the last 25 seasons. They'll have seven of the last 25. I mean, this Patriots run started, I think eight or nine months before Drake Bay was born. Drake May had been conceived. And this entire thing is in his fucking life, which is crazy. Like they just have basically like a Super bowl every three or four seasons for the entire 21st century.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah, they were the best team ever as he was growing up. And then the second he like went to college, they sucked and he got drafted by them and now they're good. What a lovely little situation he fell into there.

[Bill Simmons]

No, it's. It's pretty. This is why Patriots fans should understand that. Yeah, we're not all happy for you. Sorry.

[Craig Horlbeck]

No, we're not. And also on the other side of things, the Sam Darnold story is just so good. Like it's. This is a remarkable story. This is like one of the all time career comebacks. Like I. He's going to go down in history. Like Sam Darnold will become a verb. People are going to talk about like the Darnold where the guy comes in this talent that everybody thought was good, the bust who. Who comes back from the dead. So I feel like everybody. It's going to be hard, I think, for the average NFL fan to not root for Seattle. I would say overwhelmingly people are going to want Seattle to win the super bowl because of Darnold and also especially because of the Patriots.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, the scene. Ghost game. Yeah, it's. Which.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Which I had forgotten was against the Patriots. That was a 2019 Monday Night Football game. Jets Pats. The jets lost 33 to 0 in that game on Monday Night Football. It was Darnold's 16th start in the NFL. Do you guys know his stat line from that day?

[Danny Kelly]

Maybe.

[Craig Horlbeck]

I don't even want to put this out.

[Bill Simmons]

I do because I wrote a blog about it for the ringer that I reread and it's. The game was as bad as it's, it's like worthy of having a nickname. It's actually as bad as it gets.

[Craig Horlbeck]

I mean, the fact also, they did him so dirty. Catching him on mic, saying that airing it is just.

[Danny Kelly]

I know it was like from us. It was like from the sky cam or whatever.

[Bill Simmons]

Wait, wait, Craig, read the stat light. It's actually worse than I remember.

[Craig Horlbeck]

He was 11 for 32, 86 yards, four interceptions, a lost fumble, and an intentional safety.

[Danny Kelly]

Intentional safety.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, they had to get out of bounds, prevent a defensive touchdown. So he kicked. Passer rating in the game. He had a 3.7 out of 158, which is the lowest ever versus a Bill Belichick defense, which goes back basically 50 years. And then in a nutshell, Darnold had four interceptions, four three and outs, and then took a safety. And then that was the game.

[Danny Kelly]

And then he was talking to himself essentially, like, he was like, man, I'm seeing ghosts out there or something.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Pretty much he was kind of talking to a coach, but he was like, I'm seeing ghosts out there. They're gonna keep coming.

[Bill Simmons]

And it was near Halloween and it was just, it was brutal, man. But I, I again, then he got mono. Well, the Patriots, that's an all timer I. That we're gonna, I mean, how many people are gonna, how many memes are you gonna see?

[Danny Kelly]

I've seen probably 15 of those memes just today.

[Bill Simmons]

She could be a Super bowl champion. It's just like with the. Oh, God.

[Danny Kelly]

I, I think it's also. It's a great story too, because Darnold seems very. Just laid back. You know, he's kind of been through the ringer in terms of his career going all the different places that he's gone. Being known as this, you know, mega draft bus that kind of turned his career around slowly but surely. Um, but he just seems super chill every time you see a interview with him. He's just, you know, I just love my teammates, just trying to win for my teammates, blah, blah, blah. He's like, I have a bird app. Every time I hear a bird, I can turn on my app and figure out what kind of bird it was like. He just seems like the most genuine sort of low key guy.

[Craig Horlbeck]

That's the only app he should be using. I hope he's not on social media at all these next.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, it's better than the other bird app, right? It's just him and Ben Solak on here talking about red breasted nut hatches, blocks or whatever.

[Craig Horlbeck]

It's just crazy, man. I mean third pick in the draft. The fact that he's the first quarterback from the 2018 draft to make the super bowl and that draft had Josh Allen, Baker Mayfield, Lamar is insane.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, it's awesome.

[Craig Horlbeck]

First USC quarterback to make the super bowl is crazy. The fact that in, in Sam Darnold's sixth NFL season he threw two touchdowns. Not because he was hurt, not because anything, but because he sucked, was a bust and was a backup. In his sixth season he threw two touchdowns. The next season he throws 35 and wins 14 games. The season after that 25, wins 14 games and is in the Super Bowl. I mean I just like you'll never see this. This will happen once every 50 years.

[Bill Simmons]

We'll have to, we'll have to rename the it's so over we're so back award after to Sam Darnold if he wins the Super Bowl. I the other, only other person Deontay Lee pointed out, the only other comp for this is probably Brad Johnson who is like in the European Football League before he won the super bowl with the Bucks. That Bucks team that I think we don't talk about enough. All time NFL story that never gets mentioned is Jon Gruden being traded from the Raiders to the Buccaneers and then they played in the super bowl which is just an all time thing. I can't imagine. I mean if that happened now we would be like, oh, I don't know. And then they destroyed the Raiders in the Super Bowl.

[Danny Kelly]

The other similar. But I think it's obviously still to has to play out. Darnold has to kind of prove over the next few years that this is legit. But Steve Young did not turn into a full time start. Well, first off, he flamed out in Tampa Bay.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Well, he didn't even go to the NFL. He went to the USFL out of college.

[Bill Simmons]

They moved him to safety when he was at BYU because they didn't want to teach a lefty quarterback the offense.

[Craig Horlbeck]

He went to the usfl, played for the, the LA Express for two years and then was picked in the supplemental draft on the bucks and went 3:16.

[Bill Simmons]

Yep.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Bill Walsh traded for. I mean he was a backup behind Joe Montana.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, he was a backup for like six, five years.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yes.

[Bill Simmons]

There's a great story about Bill Walsh trying to trade for Steve Young where he basically goes to the team and he's like, you know, it's like the Brady thing. It's like when do you move on from Joe Montana? Like no one wants to do it. Oh, do we get the backup and which Joe Montana's like, not even over now. And he goes to the staff, he's like, should we trade for Steve Young? And everyone says, no. The Walsh is like, oh, what do you guys know it? And he just does it anyway.

[Craig Horlbeck]

He traded the 50th and the 106th pick for Steve Young, I believe, because.

[Bill Simmons]

That'S the accurate once every 20 years.

[Danny Kelly]

Steve Young didn't start. He didn't really start for the 49ers until he was 30 years old. And obviously, I'm not comparing Darnold to Steve Young. Steve Young is a Hall of Famer, so that's obviously a very different thing.

[Craig Horlbeck]

But the parallels are, like, both of them had their breakout seasons in their seventh season, Right. Which is really, really late to mature.

[Bill Simmons]

Yep.

[Craig Horlbeck]

I was a late bloomer. You know, I was five feet tall freshman year. I was the Darnold of high school.

[Danny Kelly]

You were two bits homan sized, those two bits.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Or, dude, I would have killed two 145 my freshman year. I would love that.

[Bill Simmons]

Two bits oral backs 5, 1, 1, 10. You were sad.

[Craig Horlbeck]

I was Sabrina Carpenter.

[Bill Simmons]

You were sav. Cars height in high school.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, my God. Okay, so the Darnold thing. Yeah, It's. I don't know how you root against Darnold, but that's the thing is, like, I don't know. Do you guys want to start the Patriots? The Seahawks, in terms, like, let's just pretend how they. If they won the game, and then we're like, what happened?

[Craig Horlbeck]

We should start with Seattle. Yeah. What are we doing? This is a Seattle Favorites podcast. Right.

[Bill Simmons]

Also, I like that when we do ringer107, there's no conversation when we pick the game next week that we're taking the Seahawks and we're not putting ourselves in the position to root against Danny Kelly's team.

[Craig Horlbeck]

No. We're in first, by the way.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, we are. Yeah, we're gonna. We're gonna win. Don't worry. We're gonna put as little thought and energy into that as possible. We're gonna run away with it. I already have one pick.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Do we have to do props, or is it just the spread?

[Bill Simmons]

I think the spread in three props. I have one prop I want to do with you guys.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Okay.

[Bill Simmons]

It's going to.

[Danny Kelly]

Well, we'll talk about that later.

[Bill Simmons]

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[Danny Kelly]

They were just the far superior team in every aspect. To me this is. This is Seahawks. This is the Seahawks. I think why everyone is so worried about it right now is because on paper they're just a lot better. You know what I mean? They have more talent, they're more balanced. Their defense is absolutely frickin demolished every team that doesn't have Matt Stafford at quarterback this season and so I think, you know, you look at, you look at this matchup. On paper, this is why everybody has picked the Seahawks so far. And it's actually starting to make me very nervous. The Patriots are in that zone. I know Bill's going to be all over this. They're the, the, the nobody believed in us team. The Patriots are so, you know. But on paper, the Seahawks are the better team. I think the defensive, what they can do in theory to the, to the Patriots offense is going to be make this like the Seahawks are not going to have to score a ton of points to win this game. That's kind of how I see it. The Seahawks defense is playing really, really well this season. The best defense in the NFL. They're going to make it really, really hard on the Patriots. They have a really good special teams unit and this is kind of what we're talking about with the Rams too. The difference on special teams could make a big impact. But I just look at the Seahawks defense. If Sam Darnold can play relatively mistake free football, I think the Seahawks will be fine.

[Bill Simmons]

I, I agree. I mean, it's funny because it sounds really basic, but I just think whichever quarterback panics less and doesn't turn the ball over will win and that team will win. Because I think if you just look at both sides of the ball, the special teams on both sides are actually really good. The kickers are both really good. Both teams are really good at punting. I mean the, you know, I mean, honestly, you could argue the best two punt returners in the whole league are in this game, Rashid Shahid and Marcus Jones. But if you look at it, the weakest part of the entire Patriots is the offensive line. And the worst matchup for the New England is the Seahawks front seven and the tackles. Will Campbell, who's just been destroyed in these playoffs, and you know, the, you know, the left tackle, left guard for the Patriots are rookies. And frankly the interior, I mean the Seahawks biggest strengths are Byron Murphy, Leonard Williams. In the interior versus like the center is Garrett Bradbury. And Mike like, like, give me a break. Yeah, that guy. Well, but guess. Well, just saying, like when he was with the Vikings, Vikings fans, interior, offensive line, they were happy to see him go.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Look, I don't like what I've seen out of Bradbury on the tape this year. There you go.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, he's like your 18th or 19th highest ranked center, right?

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah, he's top 22, 23, I'd say. I have to revisit. It's been a couple weeks but, yeah, but I just. I don't know.

[Bill Simmons]

It's like every time you watch a game that doesn't go how you think, doesn't it always just like, oh, this defensive tackle is way better than that guard I'd never thought of. And that's like, this game. But Milton Williams, too, the best player in the Patriot. On the. When the Seahawks are on the field. Milton Williams. Gray Zable has played great as the guard for Seahawks, and he's good for rookie, but I'm like the Patriots. Milt Williams just feels like he's a lot better and stronger. So I don't know, I just feel like both sides. But that's the thing, is the interior pressure was the issue for Darnold. All these games where he melts down if he doesn't do anything stupid. I feel like Seattle will win.

[Danny Kelly]

That is a big qualifier, though. It's a big, scary qualifier.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Well, it is interesting because if you want to speak from a narrative perspective for this game, the Patriots going in, if you're Mike Vrabel, this is easy. Everyone's discrediting us. Everyone says we had the easiest schedule of all time. Nobody thinks we deserve to be here. Everyone thinks we're a year, two years too early. We don't have the roster, we didn't play anybody in the playoffs. It's so easy. This is gravy. This is like, hey, if we lose, we were supposed to lose, big deal. But if we win this, this validates everything. And on the other side, the Seahawks are a little bit more like, you're supposed to win. Darnold, you're still not out of the woods yet. In theory, he just played probably the game of his career against the Rams. And yet if he has a bad game against New England and they lose, that kind of gets lost to history a little bit. So in terms of the pressure scale, it is obviously so much more on Seattle because they're expected to win. They're the better team. And this Darnold story is so good. You don't want it to end up like Game of Thrones. You want it to end up like Harry Potter. And so that's the only. That's the only part of this game where it's like, the Patriots have nothing to lose, which is always scary coming into a game like this.

[Danny Kelly]

Craig, I've already had a Game of Thrones super bowl experience. Can we please not fucking do that again?

[Craig Horlbeck]

You were coming off a win. You were going for back to back.

[Danny Kelly]

I know, but everybody compared the Seahawks ending in the super bowl against the patriots. Patriots in 2014. To the Mountain versus the Viper. Like, truly, it was. The parallels are horrifying, so let's not say that again, please. No more.

[Bill Simmons]

I almost put that picture online this week, and I looked at. It was like. It's just. I can't actually put this on graphic of, like, just the hands.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, it was brutal.

[Craig Horlbeck]

So brutal.

[Bill Simmons]

I. I don't want to get too deep in X's and O's here, but I have a strategy thing I think I want to run by you guys. So I watched the Affleck Damon movie, the rip on Netflix.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Oh, yeah, I watched it too. I thought it was pretty good.

[Bill Simmons]

I watched 40 minutes of it, and then I just started doing other stuff.

[Danny Kelly]

I watched 40 minutes of it, and then I looked at the plot, and I was like.

[Bill Simmons]

I kind of was like, you into.

[Craig Horlbeck]

It enough, but you watched half of it and then stopped, read the rest of the Wikipedia and bailed.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, because I was. I was not really feeling the movie. I was like, how's this end? I don't really care.

[Bill Simmons]

I do. Yeah, I know what you mean.

[Craig Horlbeck]

I mean, look, it's not gonna win any Oscars. I thought it was enjoyable. I liked it.

[Bill Simmons]

I had a good time, honestly. Shout out Netflix. The Netflix little trailer. I was like, I want to watch this. And I started watching it, and then I skipped the first nine minutes, and I watched it, and then I was like, I don't have time for this anymore. But the point is, in the movie, they find, like, I don't know, like, $40 million, $50 million in the walls of this home. And all these cops are like, oh, do we keep this? What do we do? And the first thing Matt Damon's like, phones, phones. Everyone give me your phones right now. And I think that's what Mike McDonald should do at the cross, 100%. You have to, like, phones, phones. You make the championship game, get on the bus. You're not on the. You know, Variable told the Patriots that you're not on the bus, you're not going to the game. You want to give the bus phones, and no one has the phones for two weeks.

[Craig Horlbeck]

I 100% agree.

[Danny Kelly]

That's a good. That was a good reference. If it's well done, if only it's.

[Bill Simmons]

Seen the rest of the movie, I could have landed the play better.

[Danny Kelly]

But you want me to tell you what happened?

[Bill Simmons]

I hope it was a good move. Don't spoil it. I won't read the Wikipedia.

[Craig Horlbeck]

It works out how you think.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, I think All I saw was a lot of good memes about Ben Affleck smoking indoors, which I really appreciate.

[Craig Horlbeck]

That was negotiated into his contract.

[Danny Kelly]

He's like, I'm not going outside.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Look, I'm not doing this.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, my God. Yeah. I will say other stuff. I agree, though. The Seahawks, I mean, the Seoks are favored for a reason. We're going to take them for a reason. Like, if you look at the players, they're better in every spot, more or less, except for the. I don't love that. I do think the Patriots interior line of, like, Milt Williams and all them are better up front than Seattle. But everywhere else, Seattle should have the advantage. And frankly, the other person, frankly, is Mike McDonald, who has been the best coach in the NFL this year, probably along with Mike V. These are. These are the two coach of the year guys. Like, they should be the coaches of the year. And McDonald, it's like everything he's done with scheme and everything, and just. He's at the cutting edge of shutting down all these modern offenses and everything and confusing it. But the difference is Vrabel, I just don't think is going to be. The moment's too big for him. But Mike McDonald, the end of day is he's still the youngest coach in the entire league. It's like Sean McVay took the league by storm, got there versus Belichick, and, like, wet his pants. I think it's also important that Mike McDonald also doesn't. He has to be calm as well. Like, you know what I mean? Like, realistically, his sideline management, his timeouts and everything, like, he hasn't managed the game perfectly, the conference title games. And so the way he uses challenges, the way he uses timeouts, he's the play caller. Like, he also has to be, like, on it. But other than that, I felt, like.

[Danny Kelly]

Pretty confident in him on all that stuff. What did he screw up?

[Bill Simmons]

I think there was. Maybe I'm misreme. I think just like one timeout thing in the. In the second half, but it wasn't like, a big deal. I. I think just. He just. He's been doing a good job. I think he's just. The moment should be too big for me.

[Craig Horlbeck]

No, I agree.

[Danny Kelly]

I agree, though, because I don't think we would have said. I mean, coming into the Super bowl with MC McVeigh against Belichick, I wouldn't have thought he would not be able to make any adjustments the entire game.

[Bill Simmons]

But I think someone emailed in that asked to stay anonymous, but they said they were on a very, very, very junior level person on the Michigan staff that Mike McDonald was on the Jim Harbaugh and they said they were talking and like all the staff was there and they were loose and they were drinking, they were bowling. It was like a bonding thing. When they were asked Mike McDonald, like, are you good at bowling? He's like, nah, man, I'm. I haven't bowled in years. And then McDonald had like a 260 and they were like, it wasn't like, in a braggy way. They were like, he genuinely is just amazing at everything.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

And I read that and I'm like, yeah, he's probably.

[Danny Kelly]

He's competence porn for football.

[Bill Simmons]

For me, everything.

[Danny Kelly]

I'm like, I have full faith in him to get everything right.

[Bill Simmons]

I do, too.

[Danny Kelly]

At least that's under his control, you.

[Bill Simmons]

Know, So I, I. Yeah.

[Craig Horlbeck]

You know, in the same way that you can. We can be upset about. Oh, man. The Patriots went from Tom Brady to Drake May. Dk. Not bad that you went from Pete Carroll to Mike McDonald.

[Danny Kelly]

I know. I was actually. I brought this up with the CX group chat the other day. Man, it probably kind of sucks to be Pete Carroll right now just because he was such a legend for the way that he turned the team around and turned the Seahawks into a perennial, you know, championship caliber team. For a long time, they were one of the best teams in the NFL. If you look at the records for that decade, one of the best teams in the NFL. And I think there was some. I don't know if animosity is the right. Maybe too strong. But like, when he got forced out by Schneider and then Schneider replaced him, I remember Pete Carroll at his going away press conference was like, all right, it's on you now, buddy. You know, like, good luck. And then immediately McDonald is like turning the Seahawks into one of the greatest teams we've ever seen statistically. So, yeah, that's. I mean, obviously it doesn't. It doesn't varnish anything that Pete did, but I'm like, man, that may be kind of.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, it does a little. Because this is the ultimate knife twist is. Think about the difference.

[Danny Kelly]

Tarnish.

[Bill Simmons]

I meant not in the AFC Championship game outcome because it's the Patriots. All the things you see this week are about the Malcolm Butler interception and like, the worst until the, you know, Falcons is a different kind of collapse. But that was the most knife twist, like, sudden shift in a Super Bowl. It's the most painful single play in super bowl history. No offense, dk, but if the Broncos New England and the Broncos were in the Seahawks Super Bowl. All you'd be seeing is the Legion of Boom dominance over Denver all week. And Pete Carroll could go to radio row. Pete Carroll would be like, yeah, when we beat the crap out of these guys. And like, literally one of the best defensive performances ever. And then one of the worst coaching moments ever just because of the other team they're playing. And it's like the pain that Pete Carroll's feeling this week instead of pride is also kind of sad.

[Danny Kelly]

I mean, Belichick, too. It's crazy the. The parallels for that game.

[Bill Simmons]

It is. It is weird. Brady's probably not hap. Brady picked Stafford over May for mvp, which felt a little pointed. Maybe it's just honest, but feels pointed. Belichick is. I mean, God, what a week for Belichick.

[Danny Kelly]

Actually had a good week.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, that's true. Yeah. We have to talk about end of the day. Yeah.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Bill had a great tweet about Belichick. Did you guys see that?

[Danny Kelly]

No, I missed it. What do you say?

[Bill Simmons]

So Sal got hacked on Twitter.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Oh, I did see that. Did he get that corrected or did he acknowledge that?

[Bill Simmons]

No, Maybe he just made a lot of money off the crypto scam that he was. I don't know. Maybe.

[Craig Horlbeck]

You know, Bill tweeted, Honestly, it was worth Belichick waiting a year for Bill Pollian to be properly commemorated as a petty, whiny, not honest, hypocritical, self serving, score settling dickhead. He's already given out two versions of his vote when we all know the truth. I'm glad this happened.

[Bill Simmons]

Polio. Pollian following up with, I don't remember, with 100% confidence who I voted for for the hall of Fame. And I'm like, well, that's weird.

[Danny Kelly]

His story was disconcerting.

[Craig Horlbeck]

His initial story was, I voted for him. And then they interviewed him again. He's like, I'm pretty sure I voted for him.

[Bill Simmons]

Like, yeah. I mean, honestly, in all seriousness, you should probably be. You should probably not. They should rescind his vote for not knowing who he voted for three days later. You can't even tell. Can't even pretend you know who you voted for three days later.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Kind of a basic cognitive test. You have to know who you voted for.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Did you vote for Bill Belichick? I can't recall. All right, you're fired. Like, why? What do you even do it? Like? You can't. God, at least lie with more confidence? What a. You're just like, all the things you're talking about are really weird.

[Craig Horlbeck]

It's been a weird week.

[Bill Simmons]

Sam Donald's in the Super Bowl. Bill Belichick couldn't make the hall of Fame. I open up the Epstein files and the Giants in there. I'm like, what the fuck is going on?

[Craig Horlbeck]

Jesus Christ.

[Danny Kelly]

The times we live in. The times we live in.

[Bill Simmons]

I Whatever, man.

[Craig Horlbeck]

You think John Harbaugh's like, God, what, what did I walk into?

[Bill Simmons]

I could have had the Bills job. All right, let's just say from anything else in Seattle, victory. Dk They're a better team. They should win.

[Danny Kelly]

I think it's in terms of matchups and I saw this from Aaron Shots. He did a great preview of the game. Darnold has been one of the best play action passing quarterbacks in the NFL this year, but the Patriots have been one of the best at defending play action passes. So that could be really interesting to see how that chess match kind of plays out. I do think the Seahawks are going to need to run the ball in this game and they've been a lot better over the last, you know, four or five weeks. Kenneth Walker, they've been getting him outside more on like toss plays, wide zone. They've been getting him involved in the passing game, which I think will be really crucial in this one as well. So there's a lot of interesting, I think matchups. Again, this is a good, a very good Patriots defense and I think the Seahawks are going to have to have some answers for it.

[Bill Simmons]

Let transition to, let's say the Patriots win this game, which again, they were 14 point underdogs to the Rams 25 years ago and they won that game. Like I, I mean think you nailed it. The two things right there, which are the Seahawks need to run the ball, but the Patriots are kind of good in situationally, kind of getting the stops they. They need. Sometimes it's like they're not great and third and short and stuff, but they can get stuff and they're really good against play action. Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

The Patriots also have been blitzing a lot in the playoffs and that's been a big part of their, their defensive game plan. The Seahawks, and Darnold in particular has not been great against the blitz.

[Bill Simmons]

So wimped out. The Rams should have blitzed Arnold. They were so passive and so conservative and it's.

[Danny Kelly]

I just can't give him time. Honestly. He. And he's really good at finding the open man and when he's pressured and when he's rushed. I mean this is the same with pretty much any quarterback. But I think Darnold especially, he believes so much in his arm and his, his ability to fit passes into tight windows that he will force a pass. And that's where a lot of his turnovers have happened this year. So that's something that's going to keep me up at night kind of thinking about this game on Saturday. And I think, you know, the Seahawks have to have answers for kind of mitigating this, this pass rush. It also doesn't help that Kenneth Walker is going to be the main running back out there. Zach Charbonnet was the best pass, pass protecting running back that they had all year and they really trusted him.

[Bill Simmons]

You can't say that enough. Ken Walker as a pass blocker is going to come up in this game.

[Danny Kelly]

He had a great pass block in the Rams game and the Rams win on, on one of the crucial plays, I want to say maybe on one of the touchdown plays. But generally speaking, Charbonnet has been the better pass protecting back, the more trusted pass protecting back. And so again, that's another variable that is going to be, you know, kind of happening in this game. Again, I, I think the Patriots match up pretty well with the Seahawks, all things considered. And so this could be one of those games. It's low scoring, grind it out. You know, the se. Like kind of the, the Seahawks first win over the 49ers a couple weeks ago where it was, I think 13 to 3 or whatever. Seahawks blew a bunch of opportunities they had and it came down to the end. I could see this game playing out that way.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, it's super, it's super boring. But underdogs, I think usually win because of players you've never heard of. And it's like Gray Zable, Anthony Bradford and Jalen Sundell and it's like how much have we talked about them this year? But like that's the middle of the Seahawks offensive line and I think that the Patriots again, how many times have we talked about Milton Williams, Christian Barmore and Corey Durden, but that's the Patriots interior defensive line and like those guys are probably better and they're going to do a bunch of weird stuff and stunts and everything. But it's weird because every time I keep talking myself into this, it's not enough to, for the Patriots to basically they have to turn Sam Darnold and make him go full CJ Stroud. Yeah, but Drake May has to also not do that. Like Drake May is also going to be under fire and Drake May has to not match Darnold like turnover for Turnover. He has to play.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Like, May has had some slow starts in the playoffs. I mean, it has taken him a while to get going in kind of every game, and he's done a really good job with his legs, but he has not been as kind of rock solid as he was in the regular season for the last three games.

[Danny Kelly]

I mean, Craig, to that the numbers against the Chargers, Texans, Broncos Passing yards per game 177 passing yards per game 55 completion rate 6.9 yards per attempt in an 84 pass rating, which is like, way, way lower than all his regular season numbers.

[Craig Horlbeck]

I mean, dude, you know, you can make the case. Oh, this is because the Patriots played fantastic defenses in the playoffs. They've averaged 15 offensive points per game in the playoffs.

[Danny Kelly]

15.

[Craig Horlbeck]

And guess who they're playing once again, One of the best defenses in the NFL. So when you look at that, you know, you start to think of a number in your head of what does Seattle have to get to where you can feel comfortable winning this game? 16, 21 points, 24 points. You probably feel pretty good, right?

[Bill Simmons]

Okay, so we're gonna have a big prop bets show. We're gonna be in Los Angeles next week. We're gonna be all together for the Super Bowl. Gonna be in person doing a bunch of. It'll be fun stuff. Also, Instagram.

[Craig Horlbeck]

It's funny that DK just outlined how horrible the experiences of watching a game with other people, and yet you're gonna be watching the Seahawks with like 30 Ringer employees.

[Danny Kelly]

Super fun for you. And they're gonna be recording me if the game.

[Craig Horlbeck]

If the game sucks halfway through, let's just Wikipedia and turn on the rip.

[Bill Simmons]

That's a good idea.

[Danny Kelly]

Hell, yeah.

[Craig Horlbeck]

We can see how that ends.

[Bill Simmons]

We're going to have profits. We're going to go through a bunch of profits next week. We'll have an episode. We're going to do like another preview with, you know, five more days to marinate on it, and we'll win the ringer. One of seven. And obviously we'll be going. We'll have an episode right after the game ends. And so we'll go through all that, the commercials, halftime show, everything. And DK will either be inconsolable or the happiest we've ever seen him in person. So we'll see which. That'll be fun. So then. Yeah, and then after the super bowl, stick with us because not only DK in person, after the super bowl, we'll have that on Spotify, Netflix and everything. But we're cover the Whole off season, draft, free agency, trades, all that.

[Craig Horlbeck]

We're going to the combine in Indianapolis.

[Bill Simmons]

Going to the combine.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Eat as much shrimp cocktail with horseradish as we can possibly take.

[Bill Simmons]

Yes, I've made. Yes. Okay, so do a couple emails and get out of here. A couple of the news and then, yeah, we can get out the first. I just want to decay. But before we go report, I'm just seeing now this happened while we were recording. There's a report that according to espn, Jody Allen, who is controlling owner of the Seahawks, is planning to put the Seahawks up for sale after the game, after the Super Bowl.

[Danny Kelly]

Is that right?

[Bill Simmons]

That is reported by Seth Wickersham and Brady Henderson, who's the CEO, ESPN reporter.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

So Paul Allen owned the team and he died in 2018. He, you know, obviously, like mega billionaire Paul Allen, and then he signed like, the, I think the giving pledge, that whole, like, we're gonna give everything away, but it's hard to give away $40 billion. So his sister is on the team for, like, seven years.

[Danny Kelly]

So why are they saying this right now? Thanks a lot. But that has been kind of wanted.

[Bill Simmons]

At, I don't know, classifieds.

[Danny Kelly]

It has been. It has been something that's been on the docket, I guess, like, people are. Have been expecting this for several years, I think, according to Alan's will. And again, I don't. I didn't. I don't remember exactly what it said, but I think he stipulated that she had to sell the team. So it was kind of like the fact that she's held on to it for this long, people were like, okay, so what's going on here? And so, yeah, that. That makes sense. It'll be very interesting to see who kind of steps in and wants to buy the team. I think obviously people make the obvious connection. Jeff Bezos, or Bezos, who owns Amazon and is a Seattle, you know, linked to Seattle in a lot of ways. So that will be weird. I. I don't want to think about that right now very much.

[Craig Horlbeck]

But, yeah, maybe if we win Ringer 107, we could try to pool some money together.

[Danny Kelly]

Sure.

[Bill Simmons]

Maybe do like, the Brady thing, winning Ringer 107. We're like, like the Seahawks, please.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Maybe a minority stake would be nice.

[Bill Simmons]

One Seahawks, please. Okay.

[Danny Kelly]

Other thing.

[Bill Simmons]

Do we care about Todd Monkin going, becoming the head coach of the Cleveland Browns? Sure.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Good luck. Were you surprised by that? He.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, I, I mean, we said it that when John Harper was hired, there was a report that basically Todd won't be the Giants offensive coordinator unless he gets the Browns head coaching job. And unfortunately, he got the Browns head coaching job. I guess his essay for the little Browns sats he wrote was really good. I mean, a little.

[Danny Kelly]

He got an A. He got an A on his essay.

[Bill Simmons]

Got an A on his essay. Congrats. I mean, we all. I, I, it seemed like it was him. And if not him, Jim Schwartz. I don't think Jim Schwartz is going to go back as the defensive coordinator. It's kind of humiliating to basically be turned down by like a dozen candidates and still not get the job. I think Monkin took it because he's in their 60s, and frankly, these guys in their 60s don't have a lot of options, honestly, unless you're Mike McCarthy.

[Craig Horlbeck]

But did you see the, the video of Shador meeting Monkin? And Monkin's like, we tried to draft your ass last year. Didn't work out, though.

[Bill Simmons]

Underrated. Shador said, I won't go to Baltimore. I won't be a backup quarterback to Lamar. Like, kind of would have been a good idea. Good luck to Todd Monkin and the Browns.

[Craig Horlbeck]

I don't know. I don't think Shador would have been a Pro Bowler had he backed up Lamar this year.

[Bill Simmons]

That's a good point.

[Craig Horlbeck]

We should also shout out the Browns this year. Two Pro bowl quarterbacks. Joe Flacco also has been added to the Pro bowl roster.

[Bill Simmons]

You know, people doubted the Browns trading Joe Flacco. Maybe Andrew Barry is smarter than Mike Tomlin because Mike Tomlin's not in the NFL right now and Andrew Barry had two Pro bowl quarterbacks for the Browns.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Why isn't Aaron Rodgers a Pro Bowler? If Shador and Flacco are. What are we doing?

[Danny Kelly]

What are we doing, Craig? Is that rhetorical at least?

[Bill Simmons]

You know he never made the Pro bowl his entire career.

[Danny Kelly]

I know this is his first Pro Bowl. What? Good for him.

[Bill Simmons]

Joe Flacco and Shadur Sanders are Pro Bowlers who combined, played, what, 12 games?

[Craig Horlbeck]

I mean, this, when I say this, I never want to talk about the Pro bowl ever again.

[Danny Kelly]

I'm fine with that.

[Bill Simmons]

You know what's so funny?

[Craig Horlbeck]

Unless I radically change it or unless I become a Pro Bowler, I don't want to talk about it again.

[Bill Simmons]

You know what's funny? I was thinking about the Pro bowl and all those suggestions because you were saying we could fix the Pro bowl in an hour. The NFL kind of did all the stuff people yelled at them for. They're like, right, have them do stuff the whole weekend. Have them do, like, Dodgeball and stuff. And you know what they did. And no one watches Tug of war. Sounds cool.

[Danny Kelly]

The timing of it is not ideal.

[Bill Simmons]

It's because the NFL extended the super bowl for two weeks. And it's like it should be the. I think it's as simple as if Patrick Holmes won the Super Bowl MVP and then went to the Pro Bowl. You would just be more likely to turn it on. None of the players in the super bowl are in the game.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah. I just think inherently it doesn't make sense for the NF for football to have like an all star weekend. It just doesn't work. It's too physical to spoil sport. Nobody wants to do it. Everyone's been eliminated. They don't want to get hurt.

[Danny Kelly]

There's no stakes.

[Craig Horlbeck]

No. Also, honestly, the NFL is not a personality driven league like the NBA is. It's like nobody knows anything about these people. I just don't.

[Danny Kelly]

They don't know what they look like because they're all wearing helmets all the time.

[Bill Simmons]

They'll bring it back when again, when you're out, football's over. And this is the last bit of football you get. People will turn it on because that's all you got.

[Craig Horlbeck]

You know what they should do. You know how, like in a boxing match there are different cards that lead up to the main event?

[Danny Kelly]

Right.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Super Bowl Sunday. There should be like a game before. That's the undercard.

[Bill Simmons]

It's like the Puppy bowl, but instead of the Puppy bowl, it's like you should really counter program. The Puppy Bowl.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah. And I don't know what it is.

[Bill Simmons]

Hold on, hold on. Do you think we can make one of our ringer one of seven props, the Puppy Bowl.

[Craig Horlbeck]

I don't know why they wouldn't allow that. I mean, Sal is probably already gambling on it, right?

[Bill Simmons]

I mean, come on. I made some money on the Puppy bowl in the past.

[Craig Horlbeck]

I think Sal tweeted about it, but maybe that was his burner.

[Bill Simmons]

Maybe that was. He got hacked.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, that's a good idea. The Pro bowl should be the day at the Super Bowl.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah, I don't know. That needs to have some fun. Programming Day of.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, my God. It's not your worst idea. This episode is brought to you by TaxAct. TaxAct helps tackle taxes, guiding you step by step so you can get your maximum refund, get tips along the way, add expert assist to talk to tax experts or let our experts do your taxes for you. With Expert full service, TaxAct helps you find the deductions and credits you deserve. So you can get them over with. Visit taxact.com to learn more. Conditions apply. See taxact.com for details. Boy, Super Bowl 60 is here, but unfortunately means it's the last call for football. So FanDuel is helping us out. They're giving everyone daily profit boost as we head into the big game. So the Monday profit boost is on passing yards. Tuesday it's on rushing yards. I think for Monday for passing. I just feel like, I mean, to be honest, I'm not taking Drake. Me against the Seahawks defense. I feel like Mike Vrabel is more likely to be like, hey, Sam Donald with double jsn and you got to make some quick decisions. And if you can go ahead and find AJ Barner on Robert's blade a bunch, go ahead. We're going to try to pick you off two times and in the game. So I kind of like Sam Darnold Over 250 yards for like, I don't know, it's like one and a half to one or one plus 130 or something. I'd rather that than Drake May. I feel like Drake May is more likely to have 90 yards than 300.

[Craig Horlbeck]

What if we just take the unders? Can we do that?

[Bill Simmons]

You want to just take the unders? What are they?

[Craig Horlbeck]

Under?

[Bill Simmons]

Under. So under for Drake May, we can do that. And then what about rushing? I also kind of don't want to.

[Danny Kelly]

Bet on Ramandre versus kind of like Drake May rushing.

[Craig Horlbeck]

We do. Drake May rush.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, Drake May rushing over. Drake May passing.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah, under.

[Danny Kelly]

There we go. That's kind of nice.

[Bill Simmons]

Okay, let's do that. Head to FanDuel and celebrate the last call for football every day leading up to Super Bowl 60. Email emails.

[Danny Kelly]

Email or one single email email.

[Bill Simmons]

This one's from Turner.

[Danny Kelly]

T Bone Hooch Pirates the Caribbean Turner, Will Turner.

[Bill Simmons]

Turner bootstraps Breakfast is 16 ounce black coffee.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Dude, a lot of people just rip 20 ounces of coffee. Oh yeah, I respect it. Same.

[Bill Simmons]

Turner says, I went to school in Wisconsin and our entrepreneurship professor owned for Loko. Whoa.

[Danny Kelly]

Get out.

[Bill Simmons]

You see why I immediately was like, that is incredible. Turner says he ran a major brewery in La Crosse, Wisconsin, which as best as I can tell is true, is it. And they manufactured Fort Loco. We would constantly give him shit about the blackout nights he subjected us to from this fine malt sleep spirit. After four loa was changed forever, his next big idea was flavor droppers to use with caffeine to add to I guess like mio for liquor. I don't know. Anyway I don't know if this is literally true of like, this one guy owned for loo, but it does seem like four Loo was, was manufactured. I don't know, but like brewed in Lacrosse, Wisconsin. Anyway, I've contacted Turner and been like, give me this guy's email. I want this freaking guy. I want to talk. Obviously, if we can get this guy in the show, I want this professor.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Oh, for sure. Do you think he still has, like, private batches at home?

[Bill Simmons]

Of course he's gonna age. What's worth war? Some bottle LeBron James has in his stuff.

[Danny Kelly]

My grandpa with all the RC Cola.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, exactly.

[Craig Horlbeck]

It's like real moonshine. He has like real four locations in.

[Danny Kelly]

The tub aging in the cellar.

[Bill Simmons]

A 2009.

[Danny Kelly]

This is a fine vintage, Craig.

[Craig Horlbeck]

This is our sour grape vintage from 2008.

[Danny Kelly]

2007 is our best year, I think.

[Bill Simmons]

Pair it with a 2018 mango juice jewel. It's like, oh, my God.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Okay, this is our 202008 Blue Raspberry Limited edition.

[Bill Simmons]

If anyone else can put us in touch with the guy who owned four Loco, please, please immediately put us in touch.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Blue raspberry is the best flavor because I don't understand it. I don't know how. What is that? What is blue raspberry?

[Bill Simmons]

I actually have never thought about that. Why did BlackBerry, really?

[Danny Kelly]

Right?

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah, but why did they come up with that?

[Bill Simmons]

I don't know. Is there a thing that if like a color influences how you perceive the taste? Like if you just took red raspberry but made it blue, would it change you perceive it? You know what I mean?

[Craig Horlbeck]

Definitely. I. My psychology class in high school, I did a study where I had people try different flavors of jello that I changed the color and I had to meet like, green, red, like, kind of like a. Like a cola colored. And it was the same flavor jello. And they thought the brown one tasted like cola, they thought the green one tasted like apple, and they thought the red one tasted like cherry.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, that was high school, right? So you got an A because you get a 4.1 GP in high school, right?

[Craig Horlbeck]

You're damn right I did. That was an AP class too. So even if I got a B, it was.

[Danny Kelly]

He's competitive and intelligent.

[Bill Simmons]

It is weird how the brain works. Like, it's just weird that I don't know.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Also, you know, someone said how visually influenced we are.

[Bill Simmons]

Well, yeah, I, I so I forgot where I saw this, but someone. I didn't invent this, but someone's like, they were talking about there's no American food. Right. Like, pizzas from Italy. And, you know, French fries are from France, hamburgers are from Germany. And someone's like, in America, colors are flavors. Red. That's flavor. Very true. That's our cuisine. Sure.

[Danny Kelly]

I mean, says a lot.

[Craig Horlbeck]

What's your favorite? Gatorade. You say a color that's orange.

[Danny Kelly]

Probably orange.

[Bill Simmons]

By the way, the red Gatorade to be dumped on the coach is 12 to 1.

[Danny Kelly]

Which does.

[Bill Simmons]

No one do red Gatorade anymore?

[Craig Horlbeck]

Stains the most. I have no idea.

[Danny Kelly]

I think that is the thing.

[Craig Horlbeck]

What do you guys think if we spent two minutes here? What is the most American food that you can. You can make the case that America invented?

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, barbecue. That's not barbecue.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Oh, barbecue.

[Bill Simmons]

Most American food.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

That's good, because it's genuinely, like the history of, like, the Southeast, but also just U.S. agriculture. And it's like, it doesn't. That is, like, actually an American thing.

[Danny Kelly]

Did they invent it? Did we invent it?

[Bill Simmons]

I believe so. I mean, other people have done slower, but, like, barbecue. There's a very good argument that, like. Like, there's a Bourdain episode where they argue barbecue is, like, the most, which a lot of people would argue other things, but even, like, I feel like you'd say cheeseburgers and fries, but hamburgers are from hamburgers or barbecue is American.

[Craig Horlbeck]

I know. I'm trying to think. I feel like a lot of fried stuff. Like, I feel like a chicken tender is very American.

[Bill Simmons]

That. That is, like, if you go to Europe, that feels like our actual, actual export is fried chicken and fries and, like, just chicken tenders, fries, and cheeseburgers, like, mass produced is, like, our vibe.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Like, breading chicken and frying.

[Bill Simmons]

It is.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Is that American? Did that start with us?

[Bill Simmons]

I think. I think, yes, it is.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

I believe. Well, I don't know. I think. Well, no, I do think it was the thing, because that was the best way to take it. That's another, like, Southern thing where I think the idea was fried chicken would stay longer if you fried it for, like, multiple days without having to refrigerate it. I believe.

[Craig Horlbeck]

I know. I'm trying to think of what else is just, like, a really classic American food that you can't easily trace back somewhere else.

[Bill Simmons]

But isn't that weird, though, that, like, how long people live without being able to use a cigarettes?

[Danny Kelly]

No, I said cereal.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Cereal probably. Maybe ain't no other country coming up.

[Danny Kelly]

With no one's fucking eating cereal.

[Bill Simmons]

Dude, I got to tell you, Cookie crisps is Crazy.

[Craig Horlbeck]

It's a bag of cookies.

[Danny Kelly]

No, but, Craig, it's healthy because you put milk in it.

[Craig Horlbeck]

We talked about Girl Scouts the other day. They should just pour it in a bowl of milk. Called cereal.

[Bill Simmons]

Cocoa Puffs.

[Danny Kelly]

I just googled. Where was cereal invented?

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

United States.

[Bill Simmons]

This guy invented the cereal. We did this. The whole breakfast. Most important meal of the day was invented by the Kellogg guy.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Whoever.

[Danny Kelly]

I know. It's all advertising.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Do you guys ever. Have you ever had Grape Nuts?

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Just like, it's a magic food that you. You can never get to the bottom of the. The bowl with those things.

[Bill Simmons]

What?

[Danny Kelly]

No matter how little you put in your bowl, you can never get to the end of it. It's a magic food.

[Craig Horlbeck]

I don't understand what you're saying. Talking about.

[Danny Kelly]

It's the most dense thing.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Imaginable.

[Craig Horlbeck]

I like cereal because I prefer eating large. Like, I like quantity.

[Danny Kelly]

I like volume.

[Craig Horlbeck]

It's why I love popcorn is my favorite snack. I love just, like, the biggest giant bowl.

[Bill Simmons]

I love popcorn, too, but my issue is popcorn. The kernels always get stuck in my. How did you. With your esophagus thing? Not. You don't get curls stuck in your throat constantly.

[Craig Horlbeck]

My esophagus thing has nothing. I mean, a small kernel is not an issue for my esophagus.

[Bill Simmons]

Unlike Mike the chicken.

[Craig Horlbeck]

A dry piece of chicken breast is an issue. But I just love. I make popcorn at home, and I will make an entire vat and just have that for dinner. And this is your thing.

[Bill Simmons]

Popcorn. I just love pop. I just feel like I always get the stuff in my throat, and then I'm drinking water in the movie theater, and then I have to, like, drink so much water because I don't really.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Get it caught in my throat that much. Also. It's a good excuse. Or every time you eat popcorn, you have to floss after. So it's actually a good excuse to.

[Danny Kelly]

It's actually good for you. You have to.

[Bill Simmons]

I got to tell you, flossing. The key to flossing, if you want to floss but are like. Is like, ignore the dentist advice of, like, you got to use the string. Get the floss picks. Because, like, it does most of the job.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah. It's like, 70% effective, but I agree.

[Bill Simmons]

But it's like, you have to get in there with the little. And it's like, it's ridiculous. Just get the floss picks. And doing the floss picks every day is so much better than feeling the guilt of having to do the string and Not.

[Danny Kelly]

I like the string. I like the string.

[Bill Simmons]

If you like pro string, keep doing it.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Strings. All right.

[Bill Simmons]

It's annoying. It's just.

[Craig Horlbeck]

It's a lot of work.

[Danny Kelly]

It does the job.

[Craig Horlbeck]

How do you feel about the water pick?

[Danny Kelly]

I have a water pick also.

[Bill Simmons]

Jack.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Feel like a scam?

[Danny Kelly]

No, they work. They work great. Do they massage your gums?

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah. I just feel like there's no way they're getting something that's actually lodged between.

[Danny Kelly]

Your molars, but they're doing better than nothing.

[Craig Horlbeck]

That's fair. But it feels like it's just kind of fun to spray water in your mouth.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, you make it whimsical.

[Danny Kelly]

I think it's. Isn't it? If it's your dad's dentist, yes. Isn't it all about stimulating your gums? I feel like that's part of the deal.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Stimulating might be the wrong word. I don't know, though.

[Craig Horlbeck]

No, no, that sounds right.

[Danny Kelly]

Massaging the gums.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Okay.

[Danny Kelly]

Craig, what are you thinking? Get your mind out of the gutter.

[Craig Horlbeck]

I don't know.

[Bill Simmons]

All right, please email us so you can put us in touch with the 4 loco guy. Email us about flossing the teeth, not the dance. And see that?

[Craig Horlbeck]

Catherine o' Hara passed away.

[Bill Simmons]

I was gonna. I was gonna know. Yeah.

[Craig Horlbeck]

So Sad.

[Bill Simmons]

Very sad.

[Craig Horlbeck]

71 years old. She's amazing. I mean, legend for a mill. I mean, Best in Show. She's the mom and Home Alone.

[Bill Simmons]

She's one of.

[Craig Horlbeck]

I mean, she's been working up until. I mean, she was in the studio last year. Schitt's Creek. Fantastic.

[Bill Simmons]

I was gonna say. I feel like she has a more or less uninterrupted. I guess Bill would use the word relationship with, like, I don't know, like, everyone between, like, 10 and 60.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Totally.

[Bill Simmons]

Maybe 15. It's like Schitt's Greek is. I mean, again, the studio. Like, I. I mean, she. In season two of the studio.

[Craig Horlbeck]

I know they just started shooting recently.

[Bill Simmons]

So I don't know, but. Yeah, I feel like between Schitt's Creek and, what, Home Alone, like, that's like 40 years.

[Craig Horlbeck]

I mean. Yeah. Best in Show, Beetlejuice. I mean, she's done so much. People probably. I mean, there's probably like, eight different projects that people would say is their favorite Catherine o' Hara show or movie. Super sad.

[Bill Simmons]

It is pretty sad.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Came out of nowhere. She's great. Really funny. We just did Best in Show in the Rewatchables last year, and I had never seen it, so.

[Danny Kelly]

So I. Oh, Best in show is a great.

[Craig Horlbeck]

So great movie.

[Bill Simmons]

Jackie was upstairs, and I got the thing on my phone. And then she loves Schitt's Creek. She's like. Like one of the. She loves it. So she comes Pandemic show starts. Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

It has a very strong following.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. And so she comes down and she's talking about something else, and I'm just like.

[Danny Kelly]

I don't know how to.

[Bill Simmons]

I'm. I'm, like, waiting for the moment to tell her this, so then I just kind of don't. She picks up her phone and she just starts, like, weeping.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Oh, yeah, it's terrible. I mean, 71 these days is incredibly young.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

On that note, Rip, for real, though, she's awesome. Thank you, DK. Thank you, Craig. Thank you, Cam. Thank you, Carlos. Thank you, Kai. Thank you, Austin. Thank you, Catherine o'. Hara. And of course, thank you, Lord.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Lord.

[Danny Kelly]

Thank you, Iggy Pop.

[Bill Simmons]

I think I learned who Iggy Pop was by you doing that, like, so six years ago. I don't really.

[Craig Horlbeck]

I don't really have a strong relationship with Iggy Pop.

[Danny Kelly]

I don't either.

[Bill Simmons]

I know this.

[Danny Kelly]

The Passenger is a very, very famous song that's been in a bunch of movies and stuff, so I kind of have a relationship with that song.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Is it a band or is it one guy?

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, it's one. I had a list.

[Danny Kelly]

It's one guy.

[Bill Simmons]

I have a list of bands that sound like one guy and one guys that sound like bands.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Of course, Tam and Paul, a good example.

[Bill Simmons]

Who Tame Impala? Iggy Pop. The other one was. I didn't realize Nine Inch Nails started as just one guy.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, Trent Reznor.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. I didn't know that. It's just him at the beginning.

[Danny Kelly]

Well, he does a bunch of soundtracks now. Yeah.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Trent Reznor, Atticus Finch do a lot of good shit.

[Bill Simmons]

I feel like. What.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Is that? Atticus. Atticus Ross. Sorry, not Atticus Finch. Atticus Finch is. Is To Kill a Mockingbird.

[Danny Kelly]

Yes.

[Bill Simmons]

He was laying down beats. Damn, that would be sick.

[Craig Horlbeck]

To Kill a Mockingbird with a score from Reznor and Atticus Ross.

[Bill Simmons]

Closing argument. He just, like, rips a guitar solo.

[Danny Kelly]

Now we got a stew going free.

[Bill Simmons]

Free mockingbird. Just like, wow.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Mock. Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

In.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Bird.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Great movie, man.

[Danny Kelly]

That's good.

[Bill Simmons]

That wasn't as good as the Girl Scouts. Should have a show like the Wire, but that was pretty good.

[Craig Horlbeck]

That they should retroactively. Let's get AI on this. Go back and rescore old movies with modern scores.

[Danny Kelly]

Ooh. Kind of like that. It's like.

[Craig Horlbeck]

You can't tell if that's cool or, like, awful.

[Bill Simmons]

It's like basically Bridgerton. Didn't Bridgerton come out this weekend? Space. What they do is put all violins to like, you know, organic, Grande.

[Craig Horlbeck]

My local grocery store does that. They only play, like, classical style music, but the songs are modern songs.

[Bill Simmons]

That's sick. I got to tell you, the college football, new video games, something they nailed is all the music in it is like, good songs, new songs. But they're all marching bands doing them. They're all marching band covers of, like, songs you want to do.

[Craig Horlbeck]

I like that stuff.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, it's awesome. So it's like the, you know, Georgia State or the. The Ohio State bands or whatever, just doing, like, doi. It's phenomenal.

[Danny Kelly]

What do you guys. What is your take, Craig, because you're the movie guy. What's your take on shows and movies that use. That are period pieces, but they use modern music? So, for instance, Peaky Blinders is one. Yeah. A Knight's Tale I think was like, very famous for using like a. Like a bunch of modern rock music. Yeah.

[Craig Horlbeck]

What a poll. That's a great movie.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Craig Horlbeck]

I don't have a problem with that. I think it's cool and innovative.

[Danny Kelly]

They use Queen, like, We will rock you.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Oh, yeah. Oh, and Lowrider.

[Danny Kelly]

Did they use Lowrider in that movie, too?

[Bill Simmons]

It has to be well done. I think there are some times in Peaky where it's phenomenal. Sometimes it's distracting. But I will say, like Bridgerton's spoiler for all the. Also, if you're a man, you have a partner, you have a watch Bridgerton with your spouse, you need to do that. But like Bridgerton, there's a scene where they kind of do. And they do Wrecking Ball. And it's like when you realize that it's a cover, it's pretty sick to be like, oh, my God, this is Wrecking Ball, dude. But the actual straight song sometimes is distracting.

[Craig Horlbeck]

I'm looking at the Knight's Tale, We Will Rock youk, Low Rider. Taking Care of business. Taking care of.

[Bill Simmons]

So funny.

[Danny Kelly]

It's like an Applebee's commercial.

[Craig Horlbeck]

I want to take you higher by I Can Tina, oh. By Slide the Family Stone. Thin Lizzie's in there. Third Eyeball, Thin Lizzy.

[Danny Kelly]

Hell, yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

What is this movie?

[Danny Kelly]

The Boys are back in town.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Oh, you don't know. A Knight's Tale.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, this is the Heath Ledger movie. People have told me to watch.

[Craig Horlbeck]

It's a movie.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, you haven't watched It. Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

No. What is this?

[Danny Kelly]

It was. It was a. It was like a night movie, obviously, about him trying to become a knight. It's basically like the new Game of Thrones show.

[Bill Simmons]

I was gonna stop reading the wiki. I'm like, is this just what the new Thrones is about? Yeah.

[Craig Horlbeck]

My only memory of that movie is the awesome jousting scenes. That's like my core memory of that.

[Danny Kelly]

I think it's actually a pretty funny movie. Pretty good movie.

[Bill Simmons]

Movie jousting is wild. Yeah.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Should we. Should that be in the Olympics?

[Bill Simmons]

Why? Why did it go away?

[Danny Kelly]

Because a lot of people get killed doing it. But I feel like it's really dangerous.

[Craig Horlbeck]

We have ufc.

[Bill Simmons]

We can't have fencing.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

We can't figure out a way to do jousting without. That's obviously the horses can't get hurt.

[Craig Horlbeck]

That is true. I would get rid of the horses. Have them on.

[Bill Simmons]

Like I have AI.

[Danny Kelly]

Motorcycles.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah. Motorcycles.

[Bill Simmons]

That's awesome. Wait, stop. We should cut. Stop. Cut this from the show. We start a business. Motorcycle jousting.

[Craig Horlbeck]

I wish we had a compilation of every time I have to go stop. Cut this. That's a business.

[Danny Kelly]

You can't. You're legally not allowed to steal our idea.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

So I'm sure that we're the first people thins.

[Craig Horlbeck]

But they taste like junk food. Cut that.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah. Chiron, right now you legally cannot take this idea.

[Danny Kelly]

It's illegal motorcycle jousting.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Motorcycle jousting in the Olympics.

[Bill Simmons]

And we'll sponsor it. And all the motorcycle guys are using our Taco Bell zins. The zins that taste like Taco Bell.

[Danny Kelly]

And that'd be kind of sick that you'd have all these different kinds of motorcycles and all the different motorcycle cultures. Like you'd have like choppers or crotch rockets or.

[Craig Horlbeck]

It would. To represent their country.

[Bill Simmons]

This is a great. Dude. Red Bull's going to do this.

[Danny Kelly]

The three wheeled motorcycles.

[Bill Simmons]

Someone's gonna take this idea. Doesn't that bother you guys? This will happen.

[Danny Kelly]

No, it doesn't bother me.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Also, it'd be cool to design, like modern nightswear. Like chain mail.

[Danny Kelly]

Modern nightswear.

[Craig Horlbeck]

How cool would that be?

[Bill Simmons]

It's good. I love BattleBots.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah. And the designing chain mail. That'd be crazy.

[Bill Simmons]

Sick, dude.

[Danny Kelly]

My buddy has a chain mail. Like a piece of chain mail for. I don't know where he got it. Just costumes and whatnot. That is so heavy. Have you ever worn chain mail? It's like £30.

[Bill Simmons]

Lord of the Rings. That second. The. The two meal drills. Craig. They Peter Jackson actually commissioned one family in New Zealand. They got three years and they had to make 2,000 pieces of chain link armor.

[Craig Horlbeck]

And I saw that. I saw that recently, and someone was like, oh, it takes three days to do one person's costume. I was like, what the. Oh, my God. Talk about something that would just never, ever, ever happen.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Craig Horlbeck]

They just would never allow that.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh. So also, wait, where are all those chain link armors? Because, like, we must be. It's not like Joe Burrow with the Batmobile. It must. We could probably get one for. How much you think one costs? There's two.

[Craig Horlbeck]

There's so many. There's thousands of.

[Danny Kelly]

How much could chain mail cost, Michael? $10.

[Bill Simmons]

We'll give you. We'll give you 20.

[Danny Kelly]

Depends on the. Depends on the quality of trying to.

[Bill Simmons]

Pay DK40 bucks to put Cal Fitz on a sleeper list. He wouldn't take it.

[Craig Horlbeck]

That's so funny. And it.

[Bill Simmons]

He ended up the number two tight end. And he was also kind of right, which is weird.

[Danny Kelly]

I saved. I saved people a lot of trouble.

[Craig Horlbeck]

God, dk, will you. You know, it'd be a funny fantasy punishment is the loser has to do a podcast in chain mail.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, that's good.

[Craig Horlbeck]

That's pretty good.

[Danny Kelly]

What about just. You just have to go larp. You have to go larping.

[Craig Horlbeck]

No, that's. I. That's too. That's too much.

[Danny Kelly]

Rub a dub dub.

[Bill Simmons]

Do you remember? You should have to do like a peanut.

[Danny Kelly]

What was that movie with Paul Rudd role models.

[Bill Simmons]

Rub a dub dub. Nothing like a fantasy football podcast making.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Fun of larping, wearing chainmail in. Yeah, I know. In the night's helmet. Doing the pod with the helmet on. You can't see the face.

[Danny Kelly]

I kind of like this.

[Craig Horlbeck]

That would be awesome.

[Danny Kelly]

I'm into this. I'm kind of into this.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah, that's.

[Bill Simmons]

There's something.

[Danny Kelly]

Borrow my buddy's mail.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Or imagine if you had to wear that to the next year's draft. Like. So I got last I Knights costume, chain mail, the helmet, the whole thing. And I'm just sitting there at the desk live on whatever draft pick.

[Bill Simmons]

It's pretty good, right?

[Craig Horlbeck]

That's really good.

[Bill Simmons]

With the motorcycle. Motorcycle jousting, chain lick art.

[Danny Kelly]

What is it? What kind of metal is it made out of?

[Craig Horlbeck]

Steel, probably.

[Danny Kelly]

I don't know, man. That doesn't. Doesn't breathe very well, I feel like.

[Craig Horlbeck]

No, I don't think so.

[Danny Kelly]

No.

[Bill Simmons]

Pretty heavy.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Iron or steel.

[Danny Kelly]

Wow. Iron.

[Bill Simmons]

How do they make iron into steel? Do you guys know? No, I do A Wikipedia.

[Craig Horlbeck]

I think you should. I think if I just had to guess. I think you like reduce the high carbon content.

[Bill Simmons]

Oh, you want to guess right now before.

[Danny Kelly]

It's a. It's an alloy of some sort.

[Bill Simmons]

An alloy? Is that two different metals? How. Yeah. Wait, but we're gonna get emails, people telling us how iron becomes steel. But right now, if civilization's been wiped and we have to guess, what would you, what would you think the process is?

[Craig Horlbeck]

Well, I was joking. I googled it. I said it says you have to reduce the high carbon content in the molten iron to, to a lower level, using oxygen to burn off impurities.

[Bill Simmons]

You know, I hope this speaks to how highly I think of you, Craig. I actually believed you just kind of off the dome were like reduce the carbon.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Reduce the high carbon.

[Bill Simmons]

4.1 GPA in high school, he must.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Know that I was good at science.

[Danny Kelly]

I mean he. 4.1 baby GPA.

[Craig Horlbeck]

That is a good GPA. I don't know what you guys are saying.

[Danny Kelly]

It's better than tell you Craig, it's better than was literally possible when I was growing up.

[Bill Simmons]

GPA is going over 4 GPA.

[Danny Kelly]

This is the most, this is the most kids these days. Thing is now you can get more than a four point.

[Bill Simmons]

I know, it's like more than a snowflake. I'm like, what does that mean? So if you had a four point.

[Danny Kelly]

My day you could only get four. That was it.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Also it was such a scam. Like I had a 4.1 because I like did my homework, studied for a couple hours before the test. That's it. I just like was competent and you can get a fort. You just have to like pay attention.

[Bill Simmons]

Here's the problem with four point the high bar, Craig. What is it out of? Because like, is it out of like I don't understand 5. But why can't you get a 5.1?

[Craig Horlbeck]

Well, it has to do with the amount of classes that you can take that allow you to get five credits instead of four.

[Danny Kelly]

Isn't it extracurriculars when.

[Craig Horlbeck]

No, no, it's about AP credits. Like you can take an AP class and that allows you to earn a five. If you get an A, it becomes a five instead of a four. And so if you take all AP classes and get all A's, your average, that's a 5.0 instead of a 4.0.

[Danny Kelly]

So 4.1 is not even that good.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Not really.

[Danny Kelly]

That's why he's trying to go to the college of the Redwoods.

[Craig Horlbeck]

How dare you that's for my athletics.

[Danny Kelly]

He's like, my GPA is not getting me into college of the Redwoods, but my volleyball prowess will.

[Craig Horlbeck]

My setting skills.

[Bill Simmons]

At a 4.1 out of 5.

[Craig Horlbeck]

And I won't, I won't hear any San Diego State. Slender.

[Danny Kelly]

I wasn't gonna say anything. Craig loves San Diego State more than anything in the world.

[Bill Simmons]

The smartest thing anyone could do is I'm gonna go to college. And San Diego. That's the highest IQ move you've ever pulled.

[Danny Kelly]

I know.

[Craig Horlbeck]

That school is one of the most applied to schools in the country.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah, they have surfing classes.

[Danny Kelly]

I mean, I can see why my roommate took sailing.

[Bill Simmons]

God, dude, San Diego really is the best. How are the world?

[Danny Kelly]

Austin and Craig went to San Diego.

[Craig Horlbeck]

That's right.

[Danny Kelly]

The vibes on this, on the show are out of control. Good.

[Bill Simmons]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

You know, I went to college in Tacoma. Not. Not exactly the same thing.

[Craig Horlbeck]

And you had a shitty GPA.

[Danny Kelly]

Well, I had like a 3.8 or something like that. That was good in those out of five. Yeah. No, out of four.

[Craig Horlbeck]

That could easily anything.

[Bill Simmons]

Dude, my dad write the participation trophy if it used to be at a four.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Dude, my dad always jokes. He was like, he was like, I like took high school half seriously. Whatever. We had like a 3.4. He was like, I got into Berkeley, Pepperdine, UCLA, UCSD, UC Santa Barbara. And I'm like, I had a 4. 1. I got waitlisted at Cal Poly. I did not get into Santa Barbara. Freaking insane.

[Danny Kelly]

There was not enough people back then.

[Bill Simmons]

No, the boomers, like the boomers being able to go to whatever college for like anything. And it's like $200 a semester or whatever. And then you could go and get a house and like, you know, you.

[Danny Kelly]

Get a house for $85,000, you get.

[Bill Simmons]

A starter home at 23 or whatever the fuck.

[Danny Kelly]

And I'm like, it's single income household is more than enough to be a middle income.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Whatever.

[Bill Simmons]

This stat rocked me. Oh no, we're getting too real. Maybe we'll cut this, this. But the. The when the millennials were 35 on average was like Covid and the millennials. When the baby boomers were 35, it was like 1989 or something. And like they had as a percentage of GDP, they had 19% of America's wealth. So a fifth. And the millennials had 2% of America's wealth at 35. Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

What is gen. What is Gen Z gonna have?

[Bill Simmons]

I. I don't, I don't know. But I know Gen Alpha is going to get back to 19 because nominative determinism, Sure.

[Craig Horlbeck]

I don't know.

[Danny Kelly]

A bunch of alphas.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Gen Z doesn't give a. They're just. They're just vaping.

[Bill Simmons]

They're just doing Taco Bell Zins and.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Watching I said the lemons and bail.

[Danny Kelly]

I can respect that.

[Bill Simmons]

At least we had the four Locos.

[Craig Horlbeck]

I'll remember them fondly.

[Danny Kelly]

Shout out Mickey's if you can.

[Craig Horlbeck]

If anybody has one, send it to us. We'll drink it.

[Bill Simmons]

If anyone has. Yeah, dude. If anyone has a stash and emails us.

[Danny Kelly]

Is that like transporting paraphernalia across state lines? Like, is it actually illegal to have four Loco nowadays?

[Bill Simmons]

We'll send it to Sal to pick it up since he already got hacked. Yeah, he'll bring it. Okay.

[Craig Horlbeck]

DK will drink one of the Seahawks lose. Oh, oh.

[Bill Simmons]

We'll drink it up to the Super Bowl. That's a good idea.

[Danny Kelly]

I'll drink one if they win too.

[Bill Simmons]

Craig, we'll be in Los Angeles.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Drown your sorrows or you'll celebrate.

[Bill Simmons]

Everyone has a blue raspberry 20.

[Danny Kelly]

I'll bring my ski goggles. Do some, like, you know, champagne stuff.

[Craig Horlbeck]

Yeah, yeah, I got you.

[Bill Simmons]

Okay. Goodbye, everyone.

[Danny Kelly]

Foreign.

[Bill Simmons]

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