The “It’s Overtime; Which Team Do You Trust?” Draft, Ringer Fantasy Punishments, and Erotic Hyena Facts

Summary

The Ringer Fantasy Football Show

Episode: The “It’s Overtime; Which Team Do You Trust?” Draft, Ringer Fantasy Punishments, and Erotic Hyena Facts
Air Date: December 3, 2025
Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, Craig Horlbeck

---

Overview:

This wide-ranging episode blends sharp NFL playoff analysis with the beloved goofiness of the Ringer Fantasy Football crew. The main event is an imaginative “Who Do You Trust in Playoff Overtime?” team draft, where the hosts select NFL teams in a scenario where a playoff game goes to overtime and both sides of the ball are tested. The episode also highlights fantasy league punishment ideas, a debate about what defines last place in a league, and wraps with one of the podcast's signature forays into wild animal facts—including a particularly memorable segment on the anatomy of female hyenas.

The guys are in prime form—meticulously breaking down football scenarios and letting their personalities run wild, oscillating between insightful analysis and hilarious riffing.
For listeners pressed for time, focus your attention especially between 14:28—55:14 for the meat of the team trust draft.

---

Key Sections & Insights

1. Setting Up the "Who Do You Trust in Overtime?" Draft

[00:00-14:28]

• The hosts riff about the rarity of drafting on a draft-oriented show and outline their scenario:
  • It’s the NFL playoffs, wild card weekend, game tied, going to overtime.
  • Both teams get offensive and defensive possessions.
  • The draft order is determined by a trivia tie-breaker (about HR staff at the company Jamf!).

Memorable Quote:

“It’s funny that we’re a fantasy football show and we don’t actually draft anything on this show.” —Danny Heifetz [01:08]

Context-Setting:

• Emphasize it’s feel over stats: “It’s about all that stuff condensed into, do you think they’re going to win or do you think they’re going to lose?” —Danny Heifetz [10:49]
• Non-playoff teams can be included if the hosts trust them more than actual division winners.

---

2. The Overtime Trust Draft

[14:28-55:14]

Draft Rules:

• Snake draft, teams selected based on trust in an overtime playoff scenario.
• Emphasis on “the feeling” and totality (coach, quarterback, defense, special teams).

First-Round Picks and Rationale:

• 1. Rams (Danny Kelly)
  • Trust in Sean McVay and Matthew Stafford’s playoff experience and the defense’s ability to create turnovers.
  • "The only one that I had any confidence in..." [15:28]
• 2. Bills (Danny Heifetz)
  • Solely for Josh Allen’s superhuman potential, despite receiver and defense issues.
  • “Josh Allen in the playoffs is probably the guy I trust most.” [17:40]
• 3. Chiefs (Craig)
  • Despite their rough year and possibly missing playoffs, Mahomes and Andy Reid = unkillable in crunch time.
  • “Until I see the Chiefs dead, they’re not dead.” [20:39]
• 4. Cowboys (Craig)
  • Recency bias admitted, but offense is elite and Dak’s in top form.
  • “I think Dak is playing like a top-five quarterback in the league.” [25:15]
• 5. Packers (Heifetz)
  • Noting Jordan Love’s growth and a well-balanced squad, especially with Micah Parsons as a closer.
  • “I just think Jordan Love, I trust him way more than I thought.” [26:16]

Key Factors Debated:

• Quarterback/coach duo value, “trump card" moments (e.g., Eagles’ Tush Push), and clutch intangibles.
• Weighing recent playoff failures (e.g., Ravens, 49ers, Cowboys).
• The role of defense vs. offense—some hosts give edge to elite defenses like the Seahawks or Texans, while others can’t get past “QB wins.”

Memorable Quote:

“If I want—if I need to win a game in overtime and I have one possession...I want the superhero that is gonna just will his team.” —Danny Kelly on Josh Allen [18:03]

Surprise or Controversial Picks:

• Patriots (Drake May/Mike Vrabel/Josh McDaniels)
  • Compared to a March Madness mid-major: “At a certain point, learning how to win is sticky and carries through.” [31:54]
• Seahawks (with Sam Darnold)
  • Admitted high variance, but defense and playmakers justify the gamble.
• Broncos (Bo Nix)
  • Acknowledge they're “horseshoe-up-their-ass” lucky, but have performed in crunch time.
• Texans
  • Best defense, with Craig “kind of” trusting CJ Stroud more in the playoffs than some vets.
• Bears (Caleb Williams/Ben Johnson):
  • Craig’s heart pick, noting their gritty ability to just keep winning, even if stats say they’re the “worst 9-3 team ever.” [42:38]
• 49ers (low-confidence, but playoff pedigree)
• Buccaneers (Baker Mayfield)
  • "The concern with the Buccaneers is they could never make it to overtime. But once they’re in overtime… I actually have a lot of confidence." [52:58]
• Outright Snubs & Debates:
  • Ravens (untrustworthy, but taken for “superhero” Lamar potential, injury concerns for Lamar).
  • Eagles (slip far in the draft, hosts admit “we probably should have taken them earlier but their offense is painful lately” [54:52]).
  • Bengals (snuck in late, recognized for playoff-tested Joe Burrow even if defense is weak).

Memorable Moment:

• The entire crew is embarrassed by their picks as the mid and lower tiers thin out, and many teams’ flaws are exposed—leading to some soul-searching and frequent “I regret picking…” admissions.

---

3. Fantasy League Punishments & What Counts as "Last Place"

[75:00-80:55]

• Question: Is “last place” the worst regular-season record, or the loser of the “toilet bowl” consolation playoff?
  • All three hosts favor the Toilet Bowl to keep the league engaged and raise the stakes to the very end:
  • “Losers bracket is way more dramatic. It incentivizes people at the bottom of the league to still try and focus…” —Craig [79:22]

Sample Punishments from Their League:

• No coffee/no matcha for a week
• Must wear a headband on a pod and never address it (for Sean Fennessey)
• Winner picks loser’s phone background/phone case for a week (Chris Ryan)
• Mallory Rubin must call other league-mates' moms on their birthdays

---

4. Animal Facts & Hyena “Erotica”

[88:04-94:41]

• A listener’s email reveals that female hyenas have a pseudo-penis (an elongated, erectile clitoris).
  • The crew is blown away, Greg reading from Wikipedia about hyena, elephant, and binturong anatomy.
• Quote:

  “Female hyenas have a pseudo penis because their clit can be erect up to seven inches.” —Emailer [88:50]

• The guys go deep on evolutionary biology, animal power dynamics, and try to figure out how some animals give birth.
• Several minutes of giggling and web searching ensue; they compare hyenas to having “BDE” and make Interstellar docking jokes.

---

5. Rapid-Fire: Notable Quotes & Moments

On the Steelers’ Predictability:

"When your fanbase can predict almost word for word and action for action what you'll do for eight hours later, maybe it's time for something new." —Danny Heifetz [08:43]

On the current NFL era:

"We're between eras. All these teams we’ve trusted and have been dominant are just kind of falling off. But there's not really a tier yet that we trust." —Heifetz [19:12]

On learning from the draft:

“It’s always—it’s still just all about the quarterback. It always is. It always will be.” —Danny Kelly [68:31]

On regretting picks:

“I regret taking the Niners over the Lions.” —Heifetz [70:15]
“I probably regret taking the Bears.” —Craig [70:18]

---

Notable Draft Order Recap

(Teams the hosts most trust to win an OT playoff game)

1. Rams
2. Bills
3. Chiefs
4. Cowboys
5. Packers
6. Patriots
7. Seahawks
8. Broncos
9. Texans
10. Bears
11. 49ers
12. Lions
13. Ravens
14. Buccaneers
15. Eagles
16. Bengals
17. Colts
18. Chargers

---

Timestamps for Key Segments:

• Intro & Setup: 00:00–14:28
• OT Trust Draft Begins: 14:28
• Rams/Bills/Chiefs/Cowboys/Packers: 15:28–27:19
• Mid-to-late round teams, recency bias, regrets: 29:44–55:14
• Fantasy League Structure/Punishment discussions: 75:00–80:55
• Hyena Facts & Animal Anatomy: 88:04–94:41

---

Tone & Takeaways

The show remains a careful balance of sharp, fantasy-relevant chatter and the wild, digressive fun the trio is loved for. There’s analysis you can trust for both fantasy and NFL playoffs, alongside fantasy punishment ideas you may want to steal for your group—and a healthy (if NSFW) education about hyenas.

If listening for football takes:

• This episode excels at educating listeners how seasoned analysts actually “feel” about teams’ playoff prospects outside of power rankings and odds.

If in it for the laughs:

• Stay for the animal deep dive and the group’s banter about punishments; both stretch the edges of a typical fantasy show—but belong to the winning Ringer formula.

---

“I just think Josh Allen in the playoffs is probably the guy I trust most.” —Danny Heifetz [17:40]

“If Bo Nix is the weakest part of the equation, I think the Broncos are… I kind of trust them.” —Heifetz [37:40]

“Female hyenas have a pseudo penis because their clit can be erect up to seven inches.” —Listener email [88:50]

---

For fantasy and NFL obsessives, this one’s “the draft about the draft” that turns knowledge and heart into trusted playoff picks. For everyone else, it’s great background for your next league punishment or animal trivia night.

Transcript

[Danny Heifets]

This episode is brought to you by Ford Blue Cruise. It's not just where you're going, it's how you get there. And Ford Blue Cruise hands free highway driving technology helps make the journey more enjoyable. We took it for a test drive so we could experience the convenience for ourselves. So I tested the Ford Blue Cruise hands free highway driving technology last month and it was amazing. I was blown away. Like we're just on the highway and you can just hit a blinker and it just changes lanes and you can set how many car lengths ahead you want the truck to be in front of or behind the car. Like how far you want it from the nearest car. It was amazing. I was, I didn't realize we were there. I felt like I was living the future. So it was, it was absolutely mind blowing. With Ford BlueCruise you arrive at your destination ready to take on whatever comes your way. But don't just take our word for it. Experience the convenience for yourself. Ford Blue Cruise hands free highway driving for a hands on life available feature on blue Cruise equipped vehicles. BlueCruise requires a connected services plan and modem activation. BlueCruise driver assist features can be activated in hands free blue zones and do not replace safe driving and drivers need to control the vehicle. See Ford.com BlueCruise for more details on available plans and hands free models. Foreign. Welcome to the ringer fantasy football show. My name is Danny Heifers. Today I'm joined by Danny Kayleen, Craig Korlbeck and today it is power hour where every Wednesday we power rank something. Except this week we're actually going to draft something. We are going to go ahead and we're going to draft teams that we trust. In the playoffs situation we're going to pretend for a moment it's the playoffs. Call it wild card weekend, game is tied, going to overtime. We are going to draft teams that we actually think will win a game in the playoffs in overtime. Both teams touch the ball, offense, defense and teams that we trust before we even get into the scenario. It's funny that we're a fantasy football show and we don't actually draft anything on this show.

[Danny Kelly]

Our show is the draft show for half the year.

[Craig Korlbeck]

All of the shows that the ringer that are about like movies and TV draft way more than the shows about sports which is pretty funny, especially ours. So yeah, maybe we'll start drafting and more stuff but this is, I don't know what we're calling this. Maybe it's the playoff pucker factor draft but the whole idea behind this is that this is not just one drive. Which quarterback are you taking? We're factoring in that overtime rules. The defense and the offense are going to get a shot on the field. So you have to factor in. You're going to get one possession from your defense and one possession from your offense. At the very least, which team do you just feel is going to win in that situation?

[Danny Heifets]

So we're going to go through all that. Also, Spotify wrapped up, coming out soon. Or maybe by the time you're listening to this Spotify rap, maybe is already out. And so one, if we're on that for you, like thank you.

[Craig Korlbeck]

That's tag us. Send it to us.

[Danny Heifets]

Yeah, please tag us. Send it us. Tag us in Instagram, Tag us wherever. Please tag. That's amazing. And we really genuinely just really appreciate it. That's incredible. You guys have basically infinite options to spend your time and if we are on your wrapped, we honestly, from the bottom of our heart, like thank you. That's just, it's, it's never gets old when people, when we're in your app. So thank you for that. And so yeah, we're going to get into all that. But first we're going to take a quick break. This episode is presented by Chime Bank Smarter. This season, fantasy football is all about strategy. Well, here's a winning strategy for your money trade banking fees for fee free banking 1.5% cash back getting paid when you say and a higher APY on your savings. That's a lineup that wins. Stop banking the old way. Bank Smarter through Chime Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services and the secured chime Visa credit card provided by the Bancor Bank NA or Stride Bank NA members FDIC optional services and products may have fees or charges [e-mail] fees info with a qualifying direct deposit earn 1.5% cash back on eligible secured chime Visa credit card purchases. APY means annual percentage yield. Learn [e-mail] okay, we're going to get into the pucker factor. Draft the teams you trust. Draft. I don't know what this is called but first we have to get into some very important news on Sunday. On Sunday's episode we one of us mentioned there was this post that was going viral that was really funny that after the Steelers got rocked by Buffalo, someone made the joke that it was.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I can read the tweet if you want.

[Danny Heifets]

Oh, please, please.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Craig Korlbeck]

This is from Seth. Roba shouts out Seth. He tweeted after the Steelers lost to the bills 26 to 7. He said Mike Tomlin is going to say something like, we can't eat soup with forks. We need spoons. And then the Steelers are going to sign a 2018 Pro Bowler to the practice squad. Well, today the Steelers signed wide receiver Adam Thielen, who was a 2018 Pro Bowler. So hats off to you, Seth. No way the Steelers and Mike Tomlin are that predictable.

[Danny Kelly]

That is actually insane.

[Danny Heifets]

I think the Steelers fans booing Renegade. Their song is the most concerning thing that happened in the McTominay. This person making that joke and then it actually happening is probably the second most concerning thing. I'm more worried by this than them allowing like 500 rushing yards to the Ravens in the final two games last year.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I mean, Rogers is as pissed as he's ever been. And he, he threw players under the bus. In the presser after the game, our very own Ben Solak, a friend of the program, broke down. Why The Steelers receivers are a mess. I mean he, he wants guys who can like when he makes it audible at the line and they like know what's going on and they're going to run the right route because there was basically like a guy, a guy ran a corner when he was supposed to ran a post and it could have been a touchdown. And Rogers was pissed because he's throwing at Calvin Austin and Roman Wilson.

[Danny Heifets]

Calvin Austin is dead to Rogers because he already. He had a game a few weeks ago where Calvin Austin messed up like two or three things and Calvin Austin at another drop this week. I genuine. I Rogers I don't think is going to throw to Calvin Austin more than five times the rest of the season.

[Danny Kelly]

Adding Thielen is perfect because they have right now the Steelers have.

[Craig Korlbeck]

It's Adam Thielen.

[Danny Kelly]

What did I say?

[Danny Heifets]

You called Alan Thielen.

[Craig Korlbeck]

No, no, you said adding the name.

[Danny Heifets]

Oh, that's good.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Sorry.

[Danny Kelly]

No, but they right now they only have the hugest receivers and the smallest receivers. They need like a. They need to do the. The right in the middle, just regular sized, regular speed white guy.

[Craig Korlbeck]

They have the single most athletic receiver maybe in the league in DK Metcalf. The biggest alien. And then Ben Skaronic and Adam Thielen and guys who are like five, nine, by the way.

[Danny Heifets]

The DK Metcalf trade we kind of have to revisit right now. Like dk. The Steelers got rid of George Pickens, sent him to D. Dallas. Obviously Pickens now still has more receiving yards than the entire Steelers receivers combined. Pickens Wasn't going to do that in Pittsburgh. We all know that. It's not crazy. Like sometimes trade can work for both sides. Pickens was better off in Dallas. Steelers and Aaron Rodgers. I don't think the detail oriented nature of Rogers was going to work with Pickens. I get the fears. I want to start with DK because what'd you say?

[Danny Kelly]

So they signed DK Metcalfe.

[Danny Heifets]

Well, I was gonna say, so I want to start with you because you were in love with DK McCaff. He's one of your favorite Seahawks. And then they sent him to Pittsburgh and they signed in this big deal and it doesn't make any sense. And then now Jackson, Smith and Jig was crushing it. How do you feel about the Metcalf deal where they trade the pick for Metcalf and then they get a give DK Metcalf like a 90 million guaranteed.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Do you think we could trade DK Metcalf to Dallas and then you guys trade us Jackson, Smith and Jigba?

[Danny Kelly]

No. You mean the Seahawks.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

No, I think I still love DK Metcalf. You know, he was just like pure sex as a receiver. Big, strong, extremely explosive fella. But I said this at the time when they signed him, like, detail oriented was not something that I would say. Or reliable was not something I would call him.

[Danny Heifets]

He's also not a get open immediately guy. Roger.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. Aaron Rodgers trying to get rid of the ball immediately. He's like checking to all these different plays. You have to be on the same page with them. But that just never really felt like DK Metcalf's strong suit or like what would really fit with him. So, yeah, I mean, I think everything that we thought has come true. By the way, Craig, the we gotta eat soup with a spoon quote.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah, he.

[Danny Kelly]

Tomlin had a pretty close one to that today.

[Craig Korlbeck]

What was it?

[Danny Kelly]

So this is from Brook Prior. Tomlin says basically, why have the answers to what they're looking for been so elusive? And he says those same ingredients have produced six wins as well as six losses. So it's about how we cook to it this week.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Okay? He's the fucking rhythm.

[Danny Heifets]

So this is what we said was.

[Danny Kelly]

Like so fucking clairvoyant again.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Once again, it's. It's the. I can't believe how often the phrase the tuxedos are starting to seem up has. Has been relevant to this show. But it's. It's kind that same situation where it's like, all right, you know what? Those are starting to fall on deaf Ears a little bit. Tomlin. Okay. The.

[Danny Heifets]

This is what we were saying about sometimes, you know what? 20 years is enough.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifets]

And if. When your fan base is able to predict almost word for word and action for action, what you'll do for eight hours later, they. You know what? This. Maybe it's time for something.

[Danny Kelly]

If we could predict everything he's going to say and everything that they're going to do, maybe the other teams can predict their plays, too, which is something that a lot of players have been saying is the days.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah. And, like, change. It's. It's been a while. And that's the. I would say, generally, what Tomlin brings to the table, you want in a franchise and a head coach. Like, you want consistency. You don't want him to get over his skis. You don't want him to get outlandish and start saying stuff and get pissy. And you don't want the team to be too emotional. And after a bad loss, sometimes you need the coach to be like, it was one game. We'll be fine. Like, let's not freak out. But when it's been eight going on nine years since they've won a playoff game and they continue to not show up against good opponents and. And underperform constantly, then it starts to get a little stale. Like, initially, I think this is what you want in a coach. Like, if the Patriots lose a game, Mike Brable would be doing what Mike Tomlin is doing right now. The only difference is, is it's been like, 10 years since. Since the Steelers have felt like they could win a fucking playoff game.

[Danny Heifets]

I'm wondering if our punishment for trivia this year should be whoever comes at last has to eat soup with a.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Fork and they have to finish it an entire bowl.

[Danny Heifets]

Yes. They have to, like, eat soup with a fork. No, like, debris, either. Like, you just have to sit there and eat, like, tomato soup with a fork until it's gone.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Dk. How's that sound to you? You could dip your quesadilla in it, maybe.

[Danny Heifets]

No. No dipping.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Oh, that's a decent idea, though. Quesadilla, tomato soup.

[Danny Heifets]

It's like a grilled cheese.

[Danny Kelly]

Really? Yeah, that does sound good, actually. I might try that.

[Danny Heifets]

It's pretty good. Okay, we're gonna get now into this. We're gonna do a draft. I. Again, you know, there's this new thing they got called drafts, and we've. We're gonna draft it. So. Yeah, we're still gonna do TomTom, though. But, yeah, it's. It's Again, it's. It's. We're pretending for. It's a thought exercise.

[Craig Korlbeck]

It's gonna be two minutes on the literal draft clock. It actually makes more sense now to have Tom. Tom.

[Danny Heifets]

We should have done the draft chime, but we weren't thinking ahead. So we're gonna do Tom. Tom. And again, I think that right now everyone's kind of like, which teams are good, whatever. And we just think it is very clarifying to be like, overtime. Got to see both sides of the ball. How are you? Like, who do you actually? And again, there's records and stats and all this stuff matters, but it's about the feeling. It's about all that stuff condensed into, do you think they're going to win or do you think they're going to lose?

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah, we're factoring all that stuff in. But we want to stress that, like, just because a team is 10 and two or nine and three, that that means nothing. A team could be four and nine. And we think that if they were in the playoffs and they could win a game, we will draft them. This is truly. This can be. Any team is eligible. They don't necessarily have to be guaranteed that they will make the playoffs.

[Danny Heifets]

Yeah.

[Craig Korlbeck]

So again, this is overtime.

[Danny Heifets]

You're heading into the game overtime in wild card weekend. And, like, we're going to draft teams that we're most confident will win the game. And the draft order. We're going to go snake draft. So we're going to. For draft order. We're going to do a trivia question here to break this.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Should I add first. Should I add this to our trivia tally from Monday's show or no?

[Danny Heifets]

Yeah, why not?

[Craig Korlbeck]

Okay.

[Danny Kelly]

What's the score high?

[Craig Korlbeck]

Vit says 15 is in first. I'm in second with 13. DK has nine.

[Danny Kelly]

Man, I got fucking zero last time.

[Danny Heifets]

Geez.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, Just falling behind.

[Craig Korlbeck]

This is a chance for you to get a little bonus point here, okay?

[Danny Kelly]

I just want to be in double digits, that's all.

[Danny Heifets]

I will let you guys pick the topic. There's one about a. The. There's a question here about the United States purchasing attractive land. And there's also one about our. About a workplace platform.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Workplace platform seems more funny.

[Danny Heifets]

Yeah, it is.

[Danny Kelly]

Okay, so our beloved United States purchasing a tract of land.

[Danny Heifets]

Scintillating. Yeah, you're right. It's pretty boring, now that I think about it. Fine. We'll do this one for Mike.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Mikey.

[Danny Heifets]

Mikey. Sausage, egg, breakfast, sandwich for breakfast. Mike says. Mike's favorite question is. He wrote in about Our beloved workplace platform, Jamf.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Jamf. Jamf, yeah.

[Danny Heifets]

Which sold for like $3 billion.

[Danny Kelly]

What does Jamf do again?

[Danny Heifets]

I know. I don't know. Anyway, so jamf, we joked about it, and then three weeks after we joked about it, it literally sold for $2 billion. Or 10. I don't remember. So Mike writes, how many people work in the Human resources department for Jamf?

[Danny Kelly]

God damn it.

[Craig Korlbeck]

And HR for Jamf, did they really sell for 3 billion?

[Danny Heifets]

I'll. I'll look up that. We can all know that JAMF sale price. Jamf sold for $13 a share, which valuated it at $2.2 billion. Jamf?

[Craig Korlbeck]

I don't know.

[Danny Heifets]

Organizations manage and secure Apple products at work.

[Craig Korlbeck]

How many people work in HR at Spotify? I have no idea.

[Danny Heifets]

I don't know either.

[Danny Kelly]

Okay.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I feel like. Wait, did you just say what JAMF does? They help organize products.

[Danny Kelly]

They help you. They help the companies give the employees technology? Is that it?

[Craig Korlbeck]

I don't like computers.

[Danny Heifets]

I just read it.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Okay?

[Danny Kelly]

That was how I interpreted it. But I.

[Craig Korlbeck]

All right, I. I guess I have a number.

[Danny Kelly]

All right.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I don't know.

[Danny Heifets]

3, 2, 1.

[Craig Korlbeck]

40.

[Danny Heifets]

I said 6. What'd you say?

[Danny Kelly]

I said 11.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I said 40.

[Danny Kelly]

Wide range here. Craig's got the upper. Probably.

[Danny Heifets]

I feel like 54.

[Danny Kelly]

Damn, Craig, you are one off of heifets now.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah, dude, I'm on hot streets right now.

[Danny Kelly]

Pretty good.

[Danny Heifets]

Okay. All right. Further ado here, Craig. So you what. What pick you want here?

[Craig Korlbeck]

So. Yeah, I want it. I want. It's a great question.

[Danny Heifets]

Oh, my God.

[Danny Kelly]

Hurry.

[Craig Korlbeck]

This train.

[Danny Kelly]

I didn't think about this.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I want the third pick.

[Danny Heifets]

Okay. Weird flex. Dk, what do you want?

[Danny Kelly]

I want the first pick.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Great.

[Danny Heifets]

That's what I would have took. Okay, cool. All right, dk, you're on the clock. We're going to do this Power Hour style. So every two minutes, you're going to hear this sound.

[Craig Korlbeck]

The NFL draft should use Tom. Tom.

[Danny Heifets]

Honestly, they should. But the chime hits. We. The chime's like 30 of why people watch the draft.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I know, I know. It's the jingle from Greece.

[Danny Heifets]

Oh, my God. Yeah, we gotta run that. We gotta explain.

[Danny Kelly]

What?

[Danny Heifets]

Remember that we talked about this?

[Craig Korlbeck]

I was deprived of a young girl's dream.

[Danny Heifets]

It is ripped off from Greece.

[Craig Korlbeck]

It's. It's. What's her name?

[Danny Kelly]

It's raining, isn't it? Rizzo.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Anyway, all right, I have third pick, which means I pick three and four. So, dk, first pick, then high fits.

[Danny Kelly]

All right, so you start the clock. Yeah.

[Danny Heifets]

Two minutes on the clock.

[Danny Kelly]

The only one that I had any confidence in. And ironically, they just lost to the Panthers. But I'm still taking the Rams. I'm taking the Rams. I'm taking Sean McVeigh. I'm taking Matthew. I don't know what his middle name is. M. Stafford. And I'm taking a pass rush. The defense, second pass rush. That can create turnovers, that can cover all that stuff. So what do you guys think?

[Craig Korlbeck]

Matthew Stafford's middle name is? Matthew. His first name is John.

[Danny Kelly]

John Matthew Stafford.

[Danny Heifets]

Yeah, I think I heard that, but I totally forgot John.

[Danny Kelly]

Matt.

[Danny Heifets]

His middle name.

[Danny Kelly]

J.M. stafford. I have a friend named J.M.

[Danny Heifets]

I had, but I get it. Yeah. The Rams, they're the only team in the NFC I trust. I totally.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I.

[Danny Kelly]

You had them.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Second. I think they're interesting. Is a tier of three teams that I have in the first tier that I think I would. I would trust the Rams I had at the top of my first tier. But I don't feel like the Rams are head and shoulders above any other team, which is why I didn't opt for the first pick. Like, I trust them enough. The Panthers stings. The Panthers lost. Stings a little bit.

[Danny Kelly]

Took the shine off.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Took the shine off a little bit. But I think they are the consensus number one pick. I'm surprised. Hive it doesn't have that dude, if.

[Danny Kelly]

They get into the red zone, good night. They have Devonta.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah. I think they are the 1 number.

[Danny Heifets]

The only thing, the downside with the Rams, obviously, you know, there are times where things get clunky, but the kicking, the stat. Rams have the one thing. I'll say, the Rams, of all the good teams, that is the hole to me. I'm not trying to poke. All the Rams are incredible. But the extra point, you got to watch it. You can't just see them score a touchdown. Like, you have to watch them kick an extra point this year. But otherwise, yeah, I'm not gonna quibble with the Rams as the topic.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah, they're incredible.

[Danny Heifets]

And again Devonte Adams at the goal line. But also the defense is just amazing again. The Rams really were so close to beating the Eagles last year in the playoffs in the snow. And then Jalen Carter kind of blew up. Stafford. I feel like the Rams might be better this year.

[Craig Korlbeck]

It just comes down to you, you not being a fan of Josh Carty.

[Danny Heifets]

Well, Harrison Mevis, you know, Harrison kicker.

[Danny Kelly]

How could you not?

[Danny Heifets]

That's fair. Those are the top two. The team I'm going to Take number two, though. I'm taking the Bills.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifets]

And I understand that there is questions here. The Bill's defense is worse. The run game, I get all that, but I just think Josh Allen in the playoffs is probably the best player, the guy I trust most. And I just still think that they're capable of doing it. I just think Josh is unstoppable at times.

[Danny Kelly]

I know I had. I had the Bills in my top tier as well because of only Josh Allen.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

I'm like, if I want. If I need to win a game in overtime and I have one possession or whatever, you know, obviously we're doing this with the defense too, but I want the superhero that is gonna just will his team. I know that in the past, like in the playoffs, they haven't. They haven't finished.

[Danny Heifets]

But Josh hasn't been Josh Allen's fault.

[Craig Korlbeck]

No.

[Danny Heifets]

Also, they've beaten other teams. Like, I, I just think Josh is unbelievable and I think he's still playing well. And I, I know the Texans game is tough, but even then I'm like, that was the best defense of the NFL on four days, four days rest. Even last week with the Steelers, the Bills did have either tack, either tackles for that game like that. We kind of didn't talk about that enough. The Bills ran for 249 rushing yards or whatever it was 247 without either starting tackle. I wonder how many times that's ever happened in NFL history to basically have a 250 rushing yards without your starting tackle. Yeah.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Also, the Bills defense has been a little bit better over the last month of the season as well. I agree. They're also in the top tier. For me, it's funny that the Bills are not going to win their division. The Rams, in theory, cannot win their division, and the team I'm going to pick next probably won't win their division. Which is like the narrative of this entire season, that the teams we probably feel the best about in crucial situations are not even going to win their division.

[Danny Heifets]

This is what I was saying, where we're. We're between eras like the Bills, the Ravens, the Chiefs, all these teams that we have trusted and been dominant are just kind of falling off. But there's not really a tier yet that we trust. And maybe it's because we're simpletons and we need to see it happen in the playoffs. But also history suggests you do need to see it happen sometimes.

[Craig Korlbeck]

The fear with the Bills is that they've. I mean, they've had some bad losses this year. They lost to Miami 30 to 13. They lost to the Falcons and then they lost the Patriots in Houston. It's just their receiving core feels the worst as it's ever been. It's I I don't know who you depend on. I guess Khalil Shakir and you hope Dalton Kincaid can be healthy but it's bad.

[Danny Heifets]

I that is why the Rams is probably a better pick.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. Devonte Adams and Puka versus Khalil Shakir and Keon Coleman if he's not late for a meeting and you know, whatever.

[Danny Heifets]

Well he's, you know, I mean Abdul Carter's late and he's fine.

[Danny Kelly]

I mean he's Keon Coleman scored a touchdown this week.

[Danny Heifets]

Maybe that's the same. Maybe alt Carter is not late enough. Craig, so you have two back to back picks here. Who are you doing?

[Craig Korlbeck]

My the first team I'm going to pick is the Kansas City Chiefs.

[Danny Heifets]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifets]

I also had even though they're going to miss the playoffs, I'm like, yeah.

[Craig Korlbeck]

If the exercise is that we enter.

[Danny Kelly]

Overtime, they're going to miss the playoffs.

[Craig Korlbeck]

This exercise, this draft is about if you enter playoffs, who do you think is going to win the game? I think you can argue right now it's still Chiefs number one in the NFL.

[Danny Heifets]

I was surprised you guys didn't rip me Patrick Mahomes.

[Danny Kelly]

That's the thing though, they're not going.

[Danny Heifets]

To make the playoffs, they're not going.

[Craig Korlbeck]

To make this exercise.

[Danny Heifets]

But Craig's right that in overtime you know why six it's you know what the Chiefs are right now? They're that part in the movie where the, the hero kind of jumps off a bridge or jumps off a ledge 300ft into a river and then the villain looks over, they're like he's dead. And I'm like until I see that, like I need to see the body. Like until I see the Chiefs dead, they're not dead. And even I just proclaim them like this era of Kansas City might be over quicker than we think and I still need to see them actually lose a goddamn game and be eliminated before the conference championship round.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I agree. I just, I think their offense is still really good, to be honest. And they've just lost a lot of close games, which is something that didn't happen last year. The pendulum has swung in weird ways where last year was all or nothing and this last year was all and this year was nothing in terms of what they're doing in close score games and I think that can easily flip. They've had an incredibly difficult schedule. I still think Mahomes looks good. Their offense is healthy. And so I'm kind of like, yeah, I'll just take my homes in overtime.

[Danny Kelly]

I know.

[Danny Heifets]

Part of me just already regrets not taking homes myself over the pills. Also because I'm proud of us.

[Danny Kelly]

I'm actually proud of us for not taking moms first.

[Danny Heifets]

I think it's underrated that Rashid Rice coming back I think has improved Travis Kelsey because Travis Kelsey being again, I know it's overrated, but Xavier Worthy's a first round pick, even if it's just speed and he's not that fast in real life. And then Marquis Brown was a former first round pick. Neither guy is as explosive as they once were. Marquis Brown's not as explosive as he once was, but Kelsey's settling into like, in a weird way, a true tight end, even though he's not. But where he can kind of be the third option. He's just settling into zones. Has also really helped their offense. In addition to Rasheed Rice. Kelsey slotting down and how much he has to do as I think made him better.

[Danny Kelly]

Some of the. Some of the variables that I was thinking about when I was making this list and I think you could like interchange these, but coach and quarterback, I think are the biggest things. Obviously, maybe it's quarterback and then coach identity, defense and a team with a trump card. And I'm like the Chiefs, I guess their trump card is Mahomes, but like, obviously Andy Reid, Patrick Mahomes. The identity of them, I guess is that I don't know what their identity is. Maybe that's like a negative on them and that's why they're 6 and 6. But their defense, I think can step up when they need to. And then the trump card, maybe this is double counting, but like Mahomes just being fucking unkillable and late game stuff is another one of them. So, like the trump card, I was thinking the Eagles come to mind with like the tush push, like just something that other teams don't have.

[Danny Heifets]

All right, Craig, so you get to pick again. Are you taking here?

[Danny Kelly]

I.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I can't believe I'm doing this. No, I can't do it.

[Danny Heifets]

Come on, do it, you coward.

[Danny Kelly]

Why are you so scared?

[Craig Korlbeck]

I kind of want to take Dall.

[Danny Kelly]

Dallas. Wow. Okay.

[Craig Korlbeck]

To be honest with you, I'm like, I'm looking at other quarterbacks. I'm looking at Jordan Love and Bo Nix and C.J. stroud and Sam Darnold, Caleb Williams. Yeah, I'm between the Cowboys and the Patriots. And I. I was like, well, if these two teams are playing in the. In overtime, in the playoffs, who do I think is going to win the game? And Dallas is incredibly impressive offensively.

[Danny Kelly]

What if they have to run a play where they do a quarterback draw and try and run to get better field position and then run the clock out? What happens then?

[Craig Korlbeck]

That was a different era, dk.

[Danny Heifets]

I actually do think it was a different error. I think Brian Schottenheimer's done a great job and Jason Garrett was a terrible Coach and Mike McCarthy was.

[Craig Korlbeck]

That was McCarthy, though. Yeah.

[Danny Heifets]

Well, I know, but Jason. They had 10 years of Jason Garrett.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifets]

And then Mike McCarthy had the era where he. I mean, not just the playoff losses under McCarthy were comical. The Zeke Elliott getting the Zek Elliott center. And then it didn't work immediately. And then there was the 19 seconds they couldn't spike the ball, which now you watch the NFL give it a week. Looks insane. And then they got. The packers spanked them like, just like a couple years ago. And so. Or no, that was last year. I don't. I think Schottenheimer has not only changed the offense, I think they're way, way, way more buttoned up in all those areas.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I. Yeah, look, this might come back to bite me, and this might be just crazy recency bias because they just beat the Eagles and the Chiefs, but I think they have, like, the number one offense in the NFL. I think they can run the ball. They have two elite, probably top five receivers in the league.

[Danny Kelly]

That's the trump card.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yes. The defense has been a lot better. And I think Dak is playing like a top five quarterback in the league. I'm kind of like, if it's overtime, I think they will score a touchdown, and I think they can against anyone. It's just. Can the defense hold up?

[Danny Kelly]

It's been a lot better lately.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yes, it's been a lot better the last month. So I kind of think right now I kind of trust Dallas in the playoffs, which is crazy because Dak Prescott is what, one place?

[Danny Kelly]

When you. You were asking us before the show if this is at home or away, you're like, were you worried about where.

[Danny Heifets]

It's over time. So it's probably a night game.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifets]

You know, sun's probably down. I mean, they know where the sun's going to be almost a year in advance. Okay, so you're taking Dallas. So it's my pick again.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifets]

All right. I'm. This is going to be controversial, too.

[Danny Kelly]

Is it?

[Danny Heifets]

Although part of me thinks if I don't take this team, they'll come back to me.

[Danny Kelly]

All right, well, you're gonna have to. You're gonna have to see how this all goes.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Drafting is tricky in that way.

[Danny Kelly]

Can you wait another round?

[Danny Heifets]

I don't think you guys are going to take them. I'm going to take. I'll take the Packers.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifets]

Which is also weird. I think that. I think this is what the reason we're doing the show is that the middle is a little squishy. And, like, that's the whole thing right now is you don't know who to trust. But I just think Jordan Love, I trust him way more than I thought. I think the. He's made way better, way better decisions in the last few weeks, and that was the weakness of the Green Bay packers was Jordan Love's decision making. And now that he's just kind of making the correct decisions, I think the packers are going to be a little bit of a wagon because they can run the ball. I Getting Jaden Reed back. Christian Watson being full. Like, I know Tucker crafts out for the season, but, like, I. The flip side is also, Micah Parsons is, I think, has learned how to end a game, which is the most valuable thing, the last level of being a pass rusher like Von Miller. Like, it's one thing to be good enough to kind of win a rep whenever you want, but being able to set up your punches for the knockout in the ninth round, like, being able to set it up for the final drive. Like Thanksgiving. Michael Parsons just ended the game, and I, I. He had five tackles in third or fourth down that ended drives on Thanksgiving. Like Michael Parsons has been. He's incredible. I just kind of think the packers go to overtime, they're going to win a game.

[Danny Kelly]

I had them second. I was almost gonna get my first and second picks here.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Oh, you had them second in the entire NFL?

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, I just think they're really balanced.

[Craig Korlbeck]

No, you don't. You don't think they're second. What are you talking about? You tell me. It's. It's Bill's packers in the super bowl in overtime, and your gut tells you that Jordan Love is going to win or it's Chiefs, packers, and you think the packers would beat the Chiefs in overtime?

[Danny Kelly]

Maybe that's how I wrote it down. Now you're starting to talk me out of it.

[Danny Heifets]

But, yeah, the more I look back at this, the more of, like, in the spirit of the exercise, like, oh.

[Danny Kelly]

The chief should have just gone first. This is a stupid Exercise, but I do. But I think again, this is a little bit of recency bias, but when I think of the Packers, I'm like, okay, Jordan Love, he can be really clutch. I think LaFleur is a good coach. They have a really talent packed defense and their trump card is they can rush the passer like Micah Parsons is. They're sort of like, if nothing else is working, we got Micah Parsons. And so that's kind of why I think just from a complete, you know, they can beat you in multiple different ways. Point of view, obviously, like when I think of Josh Allen and Patrick Mahomes, I'm like, okay, never mind.

[Craig Korlbeck]

But he's on the higher. The packers are in the higher end of that second tier of team. I think the only problem is his Love hasn't been particularly good in the playoffs. He's one and two lifetime. Five TDs, five picks.

[Danny Heifets]

I mean, I, I would quibble with that.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Jordan Love, he had, he had a great game against the Packers.

[Danny Heifets]

I mean, he obliterated the packers and he played really, really well against the.

[Craig Korlbeck]

He obliterated the Cowboys.

[Danny Heifets]

Sorry. Yeah, he obliterated the Cow. Sorry, Packers. He obliterated. Yeah, get him. Obliterated the Cowboys. It was like 48 points or something in the playoffs.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah. I don't know, Dallas, but yes, it's just like you said. I Love can look like the best quarterback in the league on a particular drive and then look like the worst.

[Danny Heifets]

On another play to play. But I, I think he. I'm. Maybe. I'll eat my words. I think he's the. When the dumb plays are gonna. Being eliminated and it's a mix of him not needing to throw every throw off platform.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah, this is a good, this is a good pick. I mean, I agree. This is probably right around where they should be.

[Danny Heifets]

So you have two picks again here. So just. So dk, you picked the Rams again. This is. No, it's my win. You're going to overtime in the playoffs. Who do we trust to win? DK has the Rams. I have the Bills and Packers. Craig is the Chiefs in Dallas. Dk, you have two picks right now.

[Danny Kelly]

Christ, this is like not an easy spot to be in because I feel like where we are now, there's a lot of blemishes on all these teams and reasons to not pick them. Let's see. I guess I'm gonna go with the Patriots here for multiple reasons. I think Drake May is playing out of his mind right now. And that to me is sort of. He. He is almost like, you don't want to speak too soon because the Patriots have not had a very strong schedule. Like, the guy the players they're going against is like, that is a huge caveat to the season. But Drake May is turning into everything we thought his ceiling could be. And I just want to, like, we have to say that he's turning out to be better than I think almost anyone thought. Maybe Nate Tice thought he was going to be better than this. That's about the only guy. And so I'm going with Variable and May as sort of like, these are the two things I'm leaning on here. I don't feel awesome about it because I think the Patriots haven't really been tested all that much this year, but. And I don't think the receiving core is like coming together yet. Although they. I think they. Kyle Williams is coming on a little bit and you know, Keisha Booty has been better than expected, but you know Stefan Diggs and they just kind of rotate their guys. So I think that would be like, what. It worries me. But yeah, I mean, ultimately, you know, if. If you give the ball to Travion Henderson, he's just going to take it to the house.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I think there's a couple things that you hit on earlier that makes sense for New England, which is coach and quarterback. They are among the best right now. I even think you toss an offensive coordinator, somebody like McDaniels who's super experienced. He's been there a million playoff games. He clearly has chemistry play calling wise with Drake May. It's funny the Patriots being. Well, how they won nine in a row. Like 10, 10 in a row. They're kind of like the March Madness team that like, is young is in kind of a weird. They're in like the. The whack or the Mac or something like that. Yeah. And they've won like 20 straight, but they haven't played anybody. They're like 30 and three.

[Danny Heifets]

And they have Jalen's. Yeah. And he's like Jalen Suggs Drake, basically. Jalen Sugar. Like, he's actually really good, but totally. Are they really 30 and one or whatever?

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah. You're like, they haven't played anybody. They play like the St. Mary's is the hardest game every year for them. But then they get into the tournament, everyone's like, well, they didn't play anybody's strength of schedule and then they just win because they have chemistry. They've been winning every game. And at a certain point winning that much, Learning how to win is Sticky and carries through.

[Danny Heifets]

I still think Mike Vrabel is among the better week to week game planning coaches in the entire NFL, if not the single best one. And Josh McDaniel, I think you could argue the Patriots are the best coaching staff in the league between variable and Josh McDaniels and then also wild considering.

[Danny Kelly]

Where they were one year ago, you know.

[Danny Heifets]

I know. And Josh McDaniels. I think Josh McDaniels is the epitome of. He's probably the worst head coach in NFL history, given the flame out with the Broncos taking the Colts job and then quitting before he started. But after he'd hired coaches who had quit their jobs and then not going and then doing the Raiders thing and then celebrating, we got fired. He's probably like the worst coach you could have hired statistically in the NFL. But then he's like maybe one of the best coordinators ever. Like, I know he had Tom Brady, but if you've got to look, you're like, all right, Tom Brady. Even Tom Brady can't do alone. Like, he fucking went 16. And oh, with Brady, you set every record. Like now he's got Drake may like the. The coach. And also Mike Rabel out coached Bill Belichick in the playoffs. Mike Framel kind of ended the Belichick Brady dynasty, like in the playoffs. Like, I just. Yeah. So I. I don't mind this pick at all. So, TK you have two picks, though. Who's your second pick here?

[Danny Kelly]

This one's brutal. This one is absolutely brutal.

[Danny Heifets]

We thought this would be fun and we're actually. It's actually excruciating.

[Danny Kelly]

I'll go full homer here and pick the Seahawks. I know that Darnold is a fucking God. Who knows what the hell is going to happen with this guy? But I really trust McDonald. I really trust the defense. Their special teams have been great. And, you know, obviously JSN has been one of the best players in the NFL full stop this year. I think the Darnold thing scares the living hell out of me, I'll be honest.

[Danny Heifets]

But, like, especially going into overtime and you're like, oh.

[Danny Kelly]

It's like, that is the only reason I didn't pick them way earlier, because I think their defense is elite. They have a ton of depth. They can rush the passer. They really confuse the hell out of opposing quarterbacks. They can stop the run. They have playmakers at every level.

[Danny Heifets]

Special teams is really good.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, there's special chase, really good. So there's like a lot of good things in terms of, like, playoff football there. But obviously the Darnold thing could go anywhere.

[Danny Heifets]

But Darnold can also rip it, man.

[Danny Kelly]

I mean, that's the thing is, like, he can also rip like a 50 yard pass and put it in, drop it in a bucket downfield. And you know what? Kubiak has been pretty damn good too, as a offensive play caller. So, you know, this, this one is, like, terrifying, but I'm going with.

[Danny Heifets]

But the argument also is defense wins championships in the Seahawks.

[Danny Kelly]

They have the best defense. Probably. Yeah.

[Danny Heifets]

I don't mind this at all.

[Danny Kelly]

Okay. I thought you guys were gonna give me about this, but I would have.

[Danny Heifets]

Given you if you did not take the Seahawks, actually.

[Craig Korlbeck]

So you have Rams, Patriots, and Seahawks. Is that right?

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, yeah.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Seattle is. Seattle, I think, is the trickiest team.

[Danny Kelly]

Yes.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I think Chicago's close too. But, like, to just project what is possible in the playoffs with this team, like, you could argue, I mean, defensively, they're a top five unit in the league. They have, like, maybe the best receiver in the league. And when Darnold is right, looks like he can make any throw, just like any quarterback can. I just can't get the last year's playoffs out of my head, and I don't think anybody can.

[Danny Heifets]

But the six are the number one team in weighted W. A. Yeah.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I mean, they're.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Craig Korlbeck]

The question is, is, like, can they run the ball in the playoffs?

[Danny Heifets]

Yeah.

[Craig Korlbeck]

And will you be able to trust Darnold when they're, like, down 10 in the, in the third?

[Danny Kelly]

Right. See, that's. Yeah, that's the thing.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Because it's. He's cooking when, like, the defense gets a pick. Yeah, but this is, like, loose.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, this is overtime. It's tied. They're not down 10.

[Danny Heifets]

There's a couple.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Well, they could be down seven.

[Danny Kelly]

It's true. Shit. It. No, they're not gonna be down seven.

[Craig Korlbeck]

They probably won't be with the defense. That's fair. You know what? That's a very fair point.

[Danny Kelly]

That's.

[Danny Heifets]

That is a good argument. Just need a field goal, which Darnold can do. Yeah, maybe take them higher.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I feel like I'm gone in 20 minutes. Go ahead.

[Danny Kelly]

This is why Craig didn't want to do Snake.

[Danny Heifets]

I'm taking the Denver Broncos.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, okay.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I had him. That's where I had him.

[Danny Heifets]

I'm taking Denver, man. Denver. The defense is. No question. I, I, you know, they're top five and weighted DVOA versus the run.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Unless they're playing Marcus Mariota.

[Danny Heifets]

Then let's play Game of his life. That fight guy, that was unbelievable. But overall the defense, I think the truth is the Broncos are a little bit of a horseshoe team. Like the horseshoe up their ass. It started with Baker, but I have been as critical of Bonix as anyone. But Bonick has won these situations and been clutch the entire.

[Danny Kelly]

He's been pretty good late in games.

[Danny Heifets]

Yeah, Mariota played well, but Bonix went down and they just went down and scored a touchdown in overtime immediately on Monday night or sorry, on Sunday football, the Chiefs game, Bonix just went down. They just went back and forth with my homes the whole fourth quarter and then he iced the game for the field goal. Like that was two very impressive drives. At the end of the Chiefs game, the Texan, I mean the Texans like little ugly looking at the time but the Texans defense is amazing. Like I, I think Bonick's fared all right if you grade on a curve versus Houston. I know that game, you know, wasn't exactly how they wanted it to go. But also there was this other game I'm trying to remember who's against that the Broncos scored How many points?

[Craig Korlbeck]

33. What was it? How many?

[Danny Heifets]

No, that could be too many. There's no way it would have been that many games.

[Craig Korlbeck]

That doesn't feel possible. That feels like an NBA game.

[Danny Heifets]

Point is, I know that would be crazy. It'd be a lot for the NBA. But Bonix just has been good all year in the fourth quarter, man, the Broncos defense is amazing. Let's get a contract extension. A kicker like they kind of have this kicking is part of this too. The special teams, like I just think the Broncos. If Bo Nicks is the weakest part of the equation, I think the Broncos are. I kind of trust them.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I don't hate laughed at that.

[Danny Heifets]

You laughed at that, Craig?

[Craig Korlbeck]

No, no, I don't hate. This is exactly where I had a. I would have probably taken them next. If you didn't take them. Is this the team that you were worried about that you said you want to save for later? Was that Denver?

[Danny Heifets]

Yeah, I was thinking about them and I was like the packers are better. But I was like there's no way DK's taking the Broncos.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I mean look, the Broncos this year have fair play. The Broncos have beaten the Eagles, the Chiefs, the Cowboys and the Texans. At a certain point you have to kind of tip your hat.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh.

[Danny Heifets]

And with that perfect timing. Craig.

[Danny Kelly]

Craig, you're finally back on the clock.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I, I, I if we we're gonna post this online, our picks, I think I'm just gonna get absolutely murdered for all these teams, but I don't really care. I'm just flying high. I'm taking the Texans.

[Danny Kelly]

No, I like that one.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I don't mind it this year.

[Danny Kelly]

You don't have to be embarrassed by this.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Well, the next one I'm going to be embarrassed by. I'm taking the Texans, who have this year have beaten the Bills. They've beaten the Colts, the Jags and the Niners. I think they have the best defense in the league. They're giving up a season low 16 points per game. They're giving up a season low 265 total yards per game. As much as I don't like Stroud and the way he's been playing this year, I do think there is something about Stroud in the playoffs that I kind of like. Yeah, I think he kind of plays up and down to his opponent. He's 2 and 2 in the playoffs. His first playoff game ever was against a really good Cleveland defense. And they scored like 45 in that game and kick the shit out of them. I like the receivers. I feel like if this is overtime and they have the ball and I'm like, big Nico Collins, Jaden Higgins, like, I kind of like his options to throw the ball.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, I had them pretty high. I'm not going to say how high because you guys will make fun of me, but I had them pretty high.

[Danny Heifets]

All right, tell me six. No, this. We're all embarrassed to admit it. These are the top. I mean, the first nine picks. These are the first nine teams I had. Defense wins championships is a saying for a reason. I know it's six and six. I don't blame you because it's weird. I agree with what you're saying. Craig with the receiving core has come on enough that I don't think the Texans offense is so pathetic. I don't love that they can't really run the ball that well, but overall things seem like they're improving. Maybe it's the level of competition they've been playing, but it's funny. The two best defenses I feel like are probably the Texans and the Seahawks. And you can. Maybe Broncos or Browns are up there, too. But what's funny is dk, the Seahawks defense is amazing because of all the disguises they do and everything. It's not just the players are so good, but they are complicating everything. Every nothing is as it seems. The Texans just line up and play like it's the Seahawks did a decade ago with the leadership Boom. This. The Texans literally just out, hustle out, execute out, physical, out, tackle. Therefore, defensive linemen will beat your five. The, like, the coverages aren't that crazy. They're just like flying to the ball. They're so aggressive. They're so, so aggressive against the run. They're so aggressive against the pass. And they're just like Derek Stingley. They're the best cornerback and the best edge rusher duo. They just rock you.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I mean, the. The Texans were not very good last year and they snuck into the playoffs and they beat the Chargers by 20 and they lost to the Chiefs and they were winning in the fourth quarter last year against the Chiefs in the playoffs.

[Danny Heifets]

Of all these teams, I think it's fair to say you're most confident that the Texans and Seahawks get a stop in overtime.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put it in the hands of your.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Are you guys putting more emphasis here on defense or offense?

[Danny Heifets]

It depends on the team. I think if you're an elite defense, that matters a ton of me. That's why the Seahawks, you could argue Darnold's. I think Darnold's more likely to turn it over than Stroud. And to me, I also think I'm the only one thinking kickers. Kaimi Fairbairn can make a 67 yard field goal. I'm confident. Yeah. And the Texans kicker.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. I almost picked the Texans instead of the Seahawks, but I went with the homer route.

[Danny Heifets]

Well, they're also going to get a stop and that's what it's about. That's the thing. Darnold doesn't have to get all the way down the field. Darnold needs to get 30 yards in the scenario. That's the thing with the defense.

[Danny Kelly]

It's true.

[Danny Heifets]

Okay, so I, I get another pick? Yeah, you get another pick here, Craig. Well, you think? Okay, the order so far, we have Rams. Bill. These are teams we trust to win a playoff game. Rams, Bills, Chiefs, Cowboys, Packers, Patriots, Seahawks, Broncos, Texans. This is the tenth team cross. Right.

[Danny Kelly]

There's a glaring omission. I feel like so far you think it's silly.

[Danny Heifets]

Well, arguably.

[Danny Kelly]

No.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I'm gonna. You think? I. I don't agree that there's one glaring omission.

[Danny Heifets]

I. I know what he's saying, but I'm curious who.

[Danny Kelly]

I guess maybe. Yeah, maybe. Maybe it's not glaring.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I think I'm gonna take Chicago.

[Danny Heifets]

Oh, wow.

[Danny Kelly]

Interesting. You like Ben Johnson the most? I guess.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I guess I. I do. I don't know what. It is kind of similar to the Patriots where it's just like they just keep winning and I think there's something to that. I. I mean Caleb has like, there's some crazy stat about like the last time a 1 seed has been. The last time the 1 seeds quarterback was the worst, had the worst completion percentage in the league was like 50 years ago or something like that. I'm kind of, I don't know, I'm just kind of like weirdly buying into Caleb and Ben Johnson and I, I think there's just like a little bit of magic there and I think they're just getting started and. And yeah, I don't know.

[Danny Heifets]

The post game videos of Ben Johnson in the locker room are rotting, taking off his shirt. I had the Bears nowhere near this side. This is why we do this because like I think you get caught up in the record and like first of all by dvoa, which is again just context adjusted performance. Basically the Bears are the worst 9 and 3 team in NFL history by DVOA. But then you. They had a negative. They were outscored by their opponents until the Eagles game last week. But when I picture the overtime thing, the Bears can run the ball. I have no confidence in Caleb Williams in the playoffs and the decision making from Caleb is better. But when you grave on a curve that he was horrific last year and took the fourth most sacks ever, I have like Ben Johnson's whole thing is a good, better best. Caleb's decision making is better. It's not good yet. I have no faith in him.

[Craig Korlbeck]

In the playoffs they've beaten the Commanders with Jaden. They beat Dallas, they beat the Eagles, they beat the Steelers. They could run the ball. I like all of their receivers. Their offensive line is good. I trust Ben Johnson.

[Danny Heifets]

Ben Johnson is the argument also the defense that you could go either way. They have 25 turnovers so you could argue, you know, they're hot. It's one of those things that we're like virtually certain won't repeat next year. I just look, where'd you have them ranked? I had them 16th. No.

[Craig Korlbeck]

What do I have them 10th.

[Danny Kelly]

I 15th.

[Craig Korlbeck]

That's why I knew I would get killed for this. But it's where my heart is.

[Danny Kelly]

I like it. You're. You're anything if not, you're not boring is what I was trying to say there. Yeah, don't worry.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Which brings us to dk.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifets]

I don't know.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Oh, hi Fitz.

[Danny Kelly]

I think it's back to Heifetz. Wow.

[Danny Heifets]

I'm. Should I. You know, it's so funny. Part of me Wants to just talk out to make a pick.

[Craig Korlbeck]

You got a pick. It's funny that everyone's got a list until they get punched in the face. Everyone has a list until you're up.

[Danny Heifets]

I know I have a list.

[Danny Kelly]

Should I go with the list a couple of times already?

[Danny Heifets]

Should I go with the board?

[Craig Korlbeck]

Who do you want? Say Philadelphia.

[Danny Heifets]

I'm thinking about Philadelphia. I'm thinking about it.

[Danny Kelly]

I'm going to. I'm about to pull up Shields Twitter feed here.

[Danny Heifets]

I know. I don't. Because when they're.

[Danny Kelly]

Their offense is fucking horrible.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Is this the glaring omission to you DK or no?

[Danny Kelly]

No.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Interesting. Against the Colts, Baltimore. Who is it?

[Danny Heifets]

I'm taking the four. Going to have to wait. I'm taking the 49ers because I'm thinking about it and I thought about taking the Eagles, but I'm like, no, I've watched them with my eyes and I'm not picking them. I'm taking the 49ers, them with which are also a flawed team. But the offense is getting going. The defense. I, I, I already feel this is a. This to me is.

[Craig Korlbeck]

You already regret it 10 seconds in.

[Danny Heifets]

I do. Well, you know why it's this tier as teams is really flawed because you have the 49ers. The who? I have a lot of questions about the defense and Brock Purdy's hurt. The Eagles, who I literally thought about taking right there. But I'm like, the Eagles are so hard to watch an offense. There's like the Lions, who also have all these issues. They're off another team's offensive lines, a shell of itself. Tampa Bay, where I am solely, would pick them just for Baker Mayfield. Know the reason. The Colts, which we will get into. But no, I'm taking the 49ers because I just think, I mean, Shannon has a lot of playoff success. Shannon's been to half the NFC championship games the last 10 years. Shannon's been to a third of the Super Bowls the last decade. So I'm going with the Niners.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Didn't they all go to overtime and he lost them all?

[Danny Heifets]

You know, that's, that's a good point. That's, you know, when you say it like that. Well, they have different rules.

[Danny Kelly]

This time it'll be different.

[Danny Heifets]

Change the rules.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I think the Niners are a fine pick. And it's like, you know, the only problem is the kicking I don't trust at all. If you talk about the kicking, that's super fair.

[Danny Heifets]

That's super fair. You're also. It's a good point that they always lose it overtime.

[Craig Korlbeck]

They always lose it overtime now. But it's like, look, you trust Shanahan. Purdy has enough experience and Salah is.

[Danny Heifets]

Such a good defensive coordinator.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah, the play calling is really good on both sides of the ball.

[Danny Heifets]

Lost all these free agents for the 49ers of defense. All the healthy players they kept got hurt. And then he has all these rookies and like they're. Alfred Collins, defensive tackle. Like all the nine solid. I sometimes like, you guys just consistently take guys and players and just make them so much better as a whole than the sum of the parts. You look at what the Niners have done the last few weeks and versus the actual. I don't know. I think Salah's doing an amazing job on defense.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I think that's a totally fair pick. To be honest, I had them right after the Bears. Also, I. On my sheet, I think I deleted my number 12 team and I hope I don't forget who that is to quickly run through and make sure I didn't. I'm not leaving anybody out.

[Danny Heifets]

All right. No, I'm in the middle, so I got two.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, okay.

[Danny Heifets]

These are your final two picks. Dk.

[Danny Kelly]

All right, I'm going to start with. The Lions ultimately have them explosive playmakers. They've got a couple of good pass rushers and I really like their coach. They're really aggressive. Jared Goff strangely has been good late in games over the last couple years, game winning drives and fourth quarter comebacks. So, you know, we're getting down into the point of the draft where you can pick apart every pick. But.

[Danny Heifets]

I got the ick when the Lions tried to bring Frank Ragnow, their center retired this season.

[Craig Korlbeck]

He didn't like his physical.

[Danny Heifets]

Yeah, he's not gonna come out of retirement.

[Danny Kelly]

Three. Hamstring tear.

[Danny Heifets]

Yeah, I. I didn't know there were three grades but like I tore my hamstring this year. But like lines getting so excited about Rag down that he failed the physical was. Was kind of a nick. But the Lions, I. Yeah, it's. It's another team where all the things we said about them just kind of were true. The coordinator stuff. Matt Calvin Shepherd's done a great job. I think the lines defense. But another thing to remember when you have 14 players or whatever, an injured reserve on defense last year, that's four. And everyone's like, well, they're healthy. It's like, no, you have 14 players rehabbing from season ending injuries entering this year. And then half those guys got hurt. Again. So then you once again have the same problems on defense. But guess what, the offense got hurt this year too. So like Amanra's injured, Sam Laporte is injured. His backup Brock Wright has heard a tight end. The offensive line is not the same end injured like it's just they look.

[Danny Kelly]

At Eric Almond Rossi Brown like are we pretending this game is happening tomorrow? Because I, I want Amon Ross.

[Danny Heifets]

No. Fine. Amanra is probably on the team but I'm. But everyone else around him is like Sam Laporte. I have no idea if he's going to play.

[Danny Kelly]

Right, right, right. I think yeah, ultimately you're right with all that stuff. I mean this Lions team is still fourth in DPOA this year. They still have two guys who legitimately could take one touch and just house house it at any point in time. And Gibbs and Jameson Williams, one of the most reliable slot receivers in Almond Ross, St. Brown and again like Goff among all the quarterbacks left. I actually trust Goff, I think. I mean we haven't talked about the Ravens but like I trust Goff more than probably any of the other quarterbacks on the board. Still.

[Craig Korlbeck]

OO.

[Danny Kelly]

Now is where it gets weird.

[Danny Heifets]

Now you have to comp. Now you have like debilitating things. You have to make excuses for. The teams left have crazy problems. And worth noting. Many division winner like many division winners likely left who have debilitating problems.

[Danny Kelly]

I'm. Yeah, this one is. This one is a lifetime achievement award. I'm going with the Ravens.

[Danny Heifets]

I decided I didn't have them ranked in my heart of hearts. I don't think they can right moment.

[Danny Kelly]

They are completely untrustworthy. But they still have Lamar Jackson ranked.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Out of how many teams.

[Danny Heifets]

I know it's not true. I have 20 teams every 10 inch conference. I put the Ravens 18th, 19th only ahead of the Panthers. I put the Steelers ahead of the Ravens. Week 1. Week 1 when the Ravens went up like third however many points on the Bills and then blew the lead. DK called the Ravens the best team I've ever seen who I don't trust to win a game.

[Danny Kelly]

I mean this is my what, seventh pick, six pick, fifth pick. I mean look there's. Every single team left on the board has some like absolutely glaring vulnerability.

[Danny Heifets]

No, it's fair.

[Danny Kelly]

And I'm going back to what I said at the beginning with Josh Allen. If I have one drive to win it all, I want a guy who has superhero power, super powers.

[Danny Heifets]

The Patriots, the Seahawks, Ravens and Lions. Those are pretty good teams.

[Danny Kelly]

I Mean, we've given up on the. On the Ravens despite the fact that like this is truly the worst stretch of football that Lamar has ever played. I don't think that's going to continue forever.

[Danny Heifets]

Oh.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, sorry.

[Danny Heifets]

Just getting worried. Lamar popped up on the injury report. The nether ankle injury.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Oh, good.

[Danny Kelly]

I mean, that's every fucking week.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah, and every week.

[Danny Kelly]

It's every week in his career. He's sick like six times a season.

[Danny Heifets]

It's not hand, foot and ankle disease. He hurt his ankle.

[Danny Kelly]

Did he really?

[Danny Heifets]

Well, no. I don't know. There's a bunch wrong with him and they're just listing a different body part every week.

[Craig Korlbeck]

It's been knee, hamstring, ankle, toe.

[Danny Kelly]

Okay, so do you want. Would you rather you trust Daniel?

[Craig Korlbeck]

Nursery rhyme.

[Danny Kelly]

Would you trust Daniel Jones or Jalen Hurts right now over Lamar Jackson?

[Danny Heifets]

I don't know. This is fun. I don't know.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Is it bad that I've double. I've thought about Daniel Jones.

[Danny Heifets]

I'm curious who D. Craig's gonna do on this double tap right now.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, no, personally, for me, do not trust Daniel Jones more than Lamar Jackson, the two time mvp. Lamar Jackson I trust more than Daniel Jones.

[Danny Heifets]

If I'm being honest. Like if I'm just in my heart of hearts, my soul of souls of like maybe there's intellectual arguments or just watching whatever, but like just having watched these teams, I going it over, I just kind of. I'm gonna take the bucks. I just think Baker Mayfield, honestly, maybe that's stupid.

[Danny Kelly]

Maybe that's over the Colts, over the Eagles.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I.

[Danny Heifets]

You know what? I'll tell you why Daniel Jones is a broken fucking leg. And I cannot get over that. And they're doing tryouts. They're doing tryouts at kicker for the Colts today. They're thinking about signing Blake Groupie from the Saints and Daniel Jones has a broken leg and like there's a. And they're like, it's a fracture. It's fine. It won't get worse. I can't get that out of my head. He has a broken bone in his leg and he has to win a game a month from now. I can't take him. That's insane.

[Danny Kelly]

It's funny. Yeah. The Colts, I mean, obviously the Colts have. We've lost a lot of confidence in the Colts over the last few weeks. But I mean, man, they look, they were the wagon. We were talking about them. Them as the wagon.

[Danny Heifets]

I think it's not.

[Danny Kelly]

Not a month ago, I'm out, but.

[Danny Heifets]

I'm taking The Bucks. I have no great analysis here. They're beat to. They're probably a terrible pick. But honestly, the concern with the Bucks.

[Danny Kelly]

Evans might be back soon.

[Danny Heifets]

Yes, I was gonna say Mike Evans coming. The concern with the Buccaneers is they could never make it to overtime. But once they're in overtime and they drag you down to their level. I actually kind of have a lot of confidence. If you make it like a. Like a. Just a. Like the dodgeball final mono. I'm like one on one. I'm like. I actually think the Bucks put. Put the blindfold on Baker Mayfield like Peter and dodgeball.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Did Tom. Tom already player?

[Danny Heifets]

No, no, just bailout. You're good.

[Craig Korlbeck]

The Colts haven't played anybody. The more you look at the Colts schedule, they were a wagon and fun to bet in Ringer 107. But they literally. Who have they beaten? They beat the Chargers and they beat the Broncos when they really shouldn't have. That's it. They have no other wins. They lost to Houston, Kansas City, Pittsburgh and the Rams. They beat the Broncos, the Falcons, the Cardinals, the Raiders, the Dolphins, the. I don't know, the Titans. It's just not there.

[Danny Kelly]

30 away.

[Craig Korlbeck]

So am I closing this out with the final two?

[Danny Heifets]

Yeah. Or one. I guess technically. I guess you're already taken.

[Craig Korlbeck]

No, I have one.

[Danny Heifets]

You have the Chiefs. You have the Cowboys.

[Danny Kelly]

I dare you to take the Jaguars, please.

[Danny Heifets]

Should we go turn around.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Just do 20th.

[Danny Kelly]

Let's do.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Let's keep going. Let's do one more round after this.

[Danny Heifets]

Okay.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I'm gonna take. I have to take the Philadelphia Eagles.

[Danny Heifets]

I. I know who. It's so funny that they went super bowl champions.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I will be taking the Eagles. The fit in sear who talent wise still might be the best team in the NFL. I don't know.

[Danny Kelly]

This. This is the dumbest pick of the entire fucking thing. They should have been taking about seven picks earlier.

[Danny Heifets]

I should have took them instead of the Bucks. Probably.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

If you just freaking Ravens over the Eagles. I'm an idiot.

[Craig Korlbeck]

If you just swap where I took the Bears with where I took the Eagles, it's. It's perfectly fine.

[Danny Heifets]

That's like the Lions took Jameer Gibson and then Brian Branch and they probably should have swapped him.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifets]

Look pretty good though.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I mean the Eagles could totally probably like lose the next three games and. And lose the NFC east to the Cowboys. And yet I do feel like. I don't know in. In overtime, their defense and yeah all their skill position players. I think they could put together a game winning drive Jalen hurts.

[Danny Kelly]

Have the tush push.

[Danny Heifets]

The other part of this we didn't weigh in on is that the problem with picking, like, letting the Eagles fall because we think their offense is bad is that Jalen hurts is more or less his entire life is just only being good when the game's on the line. Yeah, I mean, I know that's not really true.

[Craig Korlbeck]

The best game I've ever seen him play was that super bowl we all went to together. The first Chiefs Eagle Super Bowl. He was incredible.

[Danny Heifets]

Their.

[Danny Kelly]

Their offensive coordinator's house got egged this week.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Did it?

[Danny Heifets]

Yes, it did.

[Danny Kelly]

Did you hear about this?

[Craig Korlbeck]

Craig Patula's house got egged.

[Danny Heifets]

It's egged. This is. But that's a great example.

[Danny Kelly]

Our houses are about to get egged for picking them this low.

[Danny Heifets]

I. I will. I mean, obviously.

[Craig Korlbeck]

31 other credit.

[Danny Heifets]

31 other teams. I feel like that's crazy. Philly. I wasn't surprised Philly did that at all. Isn't that a perfect example of the Eagles, though? Do you think the head coach. Do you think a coach of the reigning champion of any sport. I guess maybe not soccer. The coach of a reigning champion was ever had their house egged by fans. Only in Philadelphia could a fan base be so angry about the defending champions.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Maybe Patullo is just kind of playing possum, and then once he gets to the playoffs, he's going to start running some crazy motions. A.J. brown's going to be all over the field.

[Danny Heifets]

I still think this is the.

[Danny Kelly]

This is the ultimate. This is the ultimate recency bias pick in terms of how low they've gone. I mean, the Bears just rushed for almost 300 yards on them. Yeah, like go into overtime and the other team can just run the ball down your throat. Like, this is.

[Danny Heifets]

I want to. I know Tom. Tom played. I want to linger on the Eagles for a second because it's worth talking about in part because Petula's house got egged, which don't egg people. Like, that's crazy. But it speaks to, like, 1. How depraved and why I say Philadelphia.

[Craig Korlbeck]

They should have only egged the outer rim of the house because Hertz never throws over the middle of the field.

[Danny Heifets]

Yeah, that would have been good. They probably just hit all the. Yeah, exactly. Don't hit the windows in the middle.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah, they just egg the flat.

[Danny Kelly]

Can I. But real quick, because I mentioned shield's Twitter account a few minutes ago. This is from the other day from SHIELD. After today's performance, the Eagles offense ranked 28th in success rate. They are producing a positive play at a lower rate than offenses like the Saints and the Jets. It's the worst offensive success rate for an Eagles team through this point in the season in the last 20 years.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I have no faith in them. Offensively, they are.

[Danny Heifets]

So here's. But here's the thing though, and this is worth talking about because Eagles fans playing Kevin Petullo. I think this is exactly the same to me as when the Steelers fans all hated Matt Canada, the offensive coordinator and Seth Myers went on Bill's show and had the theory that if people know your coordinator's name, that's bad.

[Craig Korlbeck]

If non almost always know they're the coordinator, it's bad.

[Danny Heifets]

Like, it's not good that everyone in America who follows football now is learning about Kevin Petulo's name. It's never good. But here it's like Matt Canada with the Steelers where Matt Canada, somehow with priority gets branded as like a rogue who's just running this fiefdom on offense. Mike Tomlin's his boss with the Steelers. Like, this is Tomlin's fault.

[Danny Kelly]

Like, he reports to Mike who did this.

[Danny Heifets]

He just. And it's like with this, the Eagles, it's the same. This is the same story as always. Kevin Pula was picked by Sirianni. Kevin was Sirianni's guy. Sirianni's. It's his offense. It's not like Sirianni is begging Kevin Petulo to do different and Petula won't. It's Sirianni's direction. The. The story of the modern Eagle. This is so important. It gets lost. When Sirianni has gotten. When he got hired, they paired him with Shane Steichen, the front off. Like he's like a baseball manager. Sirianni. Baseball managers don't have that control anymore. The front office is set, the lineups, they do everything. Baseball managers are there for vibes. That's Sirianni. Howie Roseman, pairs of Machine Steichen. Year one's good. Year two, they like go to the super bowl and it goes great. Shane Steichen leaves the front office pairs him again with Kellen Moore. That goes really well. Kellen Moore leaves, Sirianni wins the super bowl and or sorry, no, they don't replace Kellen Moore. That in between season. The offensive court is Brian Johnson. Sirianni got to pick the offensive coordinator and it was a disaster. After Shane Steichen left, they went to Tampa Bay, who had already beaten them in the playoffs like a couple years earlier and they had no blitz checks no hot routes. No. Like, they were unprepared for blitzes from Tampa Bay because of Sirianni's pan pick coordinator. And he also picked Matt Patricia to run the defense in the middle of the season. It was insane. So they're like, this is why we didn't let Sir Any hire anyone. And they brought in two new quarters, Howie Roseman and the gm. The front office brought in Vic Fangio on defense and Kellen Moore on offense. Then they went and won the super bowl because they weren't running with Sirianni. The two super bowl seasons were the coordinators Sirianni didn't get to pick.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifets]

Then he win the Super Bowl. So Sirianni gets to pick the coordinator. He picks his guy, Kevin Matula. And it looks like this. It's every other year they switch back. Because when Sirianni gets the juice of a Super bowl run and picks someone, he picks everyone fucking wrong. So that's why I'm like, yeah, I think they should go 15th because they're not the Eagles we saw last year. They're the Eagles that flamed the fuck out the year before.

[Danny Kelly]

Wow. All right.

[Craig Korlbeck]

With that said, I see A.J. brown open over the middle of the field like six times a game, and Jalen Hurts just isn't throwing it. I do think Hertz has progressed as well.

[Danny Heifets]

And I know that was. Well, my answer to the long rant is. And I know that was a long rant, but what I'm trying to say is Eagles fans get so defensive. It has to be like. If you blame the coaching staff at Sirianni's fault, and if you don't want it to be Hertz's fault, it has to be the coaching staff's fault. And it's like Eagles fans want to defend Sirianni and Hertz. And it's like, it's. I think it's. It's like 50. 50 Hertz has so many limitations. People don't know. It's hard to know what to do with them. And Eagle staff is. Sirianni doesn't know how to do with him. It was only two years ago. Last offseason, there was the report that Sirianni and Hertz couldn't be in the same room together. It was going so poorly before they won the Super Bowl.

[Danny Kelly]

Sirianni. Sirianni's gotta be the funniest room together alone, all time.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Anyway, is it Sirianni or is it Hertz? Though I don't know.

[Danny Kelly]

That is the question.

[Danny Heifets]

Hertz is incredibly limited, but he has A skill set that when you decorate it with. Stichen and Kellen Moore were able to cook with the ingredients that Hertz breaks. Hertz wants to do. There are certain things Jalen hurts wants to do. Sirianni doesn't underdo those fucking things. The pairing of them just alone doesn't. It's like a friend that like you don't know to talk to them just one on one. And the third person actually helps the floats kind of, you know.

[Danny Kelly]

Right, right, right.

[Danny Heifets]

That's why we stuck Craig with us in the beginning. DK and I in the beginning, we didn't know what the we were doing.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Doesn't it feel like the, like the vibes. Rah rah. Locker room coach is starting to die out in the NFL and that you kind of just need somebody who can keep up with the times and is advanced enough to call plays on the. On both sides of the ball. Like in the modern game, it feels like the Tomlins the like even with Syria, it's like Sirianni. You kind of just need a guru now because the game has gotten so advanced and now you can't have a Petulo who just like lines up and runs straight, you know, shitty boring offensive plays. And same with a Steelers defense. Yeah. You can't have a defensive coordinator now who's just like, we're just going to line up and play and you can read our defense now. Things are too complicated. Things are too advanced. Like I wonder if like the locker room guy. The Pete Carrolls are dying out.

[Danny Heifets]

It's a mix of. It's the. It's. The game didn't change. It got more fierce. And so on one hand it's all harder and it's harder to teach. Like the act of teaching players is harder and you have less time to do it. So that technique based things and we're going to win on technique and fundamentals. That worked when you had two a days 30 years ago and you could get these guys practicing whenever you wanted. Now you have the CBA and limiting practice and you want to win on technique and fundamentals and you can't coach nearly as long as you can and you got to teach them in a completely different way anyway.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifets]

So I don't know where we. Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

So who.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Who I took the Eagles.

[Danny Heifets]

Took the Eagles. We want to go one more round here.

[Danny Kelly]

Do you get to go again now, Craig?

[Craig Korlbeck]

Well, if we're doing one more round, yes. I get to complete my snake and then we'll end on Danny Kelly.

[Danny Kelly]

Okay.

[Craig Korlbeck]

This. You guys are All. I'm also gonna get absolutely destroyed for this. Don't care.

[Danny Kelly]

Steelers.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Nope. I'm taking the Cincinnati Bengals.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, that's a good one. Actually.

[Danny Heifets]

I didn't even think about ranking. I thought, that's so fun.

[Danny Kelly]

I kind of, like made the assumption that you have to be able to make the playoffs.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Well, they can. Technically, that is true.

[Danny Heifets]

I overlooked that. I overlooked that part of it.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Burrow is phenomenal in the playoffs. He's phenomenal when he plays, and he's even better in the playoffs. He's five and two in the playoffs. He somehow has only one less playoff win than Jalen Hurts. Joe Burrow. They have Evan McPherson, great kicker. I don't. I know the defense sucks. I know it does. But if it's. If it's in overtime and I have Jamar Chase T. Higgins and Joe Burrow, I'm probably going to feel better about that team than. Yeah, 20 of the. Of the other teams in the NFL.

[Danny Heifets]

Yeah. I have no qualms. I kind of also wasn't sure they were in this, but I. I agree.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I know.

[Danny Kelly]

This kind of annoys me that. Yeah, you thought of this.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I had him higher on this list, actually.

[Danny Heifets]

It's a good snipe.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Okay. Yeah, dude. Burrow's been lights out. I can't. It's crazy. He only has one less playoff win than Jalen Hurts. How is that possible?

[Danny Kelly]

All right.

[Danny Heifets]

At this point, it's funny. I really think the best quarterback left by far is the Chargers.

[Danny Kelly]

I know.

[Danny Heifets]

And Justin Herbert, still no Colts. Well, that. No, that's what I'm saying. I'm not taking the Chargers because at the end of the day, I don't trust the Chargers to win a playoff game. The Chargers, I. I do believe in it. Like, they have offended some kind of higher power, the organization. And I won't be on this side. I will be with the Colts and, you know, yeah, Daniel Jones has a broken leg, but at this point, I will take the Colts.

[Danny Kelly]

I mean, Herbert has a broken hand.

[Danny Heifets]

That is. The other thing is, like, what's gonna happen with Herbert's hand? But I don't know. The Colts, another team. A lot of these teams have kicker problems, which I think is going to come up as to the playoffs. But I. I don't like the Sauce Gardner thing. I would have taken the cold tire. But Kai Blackman, the cornerback that they. I think he's playing poorly enough. The Colts were like, I don't know if we can win the super bowl of Makai Blackman starting at Cornerback. And then you go get Sauce Gardner for two firsts and then Sauce Gardner's hurt and I feel like Makai Blackman's gonna give up a touchdown in the playoffs. Cornerback. And then Daniel Jones again if the leg broken leg gets worse. But I, yeah, I do think they're the 15th team I would trust for sure.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. I'm trying to think if there's any like out of left field picks that we could make here.

[Danny Heifets]

I'm basically.

[Danny Kelly]

I don't know who you're taking is healthy, do we? Are we discussing Washington, their office?

[Danny Heifets]

He's not.

[Danny Kelly]

Defense stinks.

[Danny Heifets]

But he's yet to. He's not even activated from injured reserve yet.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Okay. You basically have, maybe. You basically have the Chargers, the Steelers and the Jags to pick from.

[Danny Kelly]

I'm taking the Chargers. I don't, I don't trust.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Fucking disrespectful.

[Danny Kelly]

I don't trust the Steelers.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Come on.

[Danny Kelly]

Aaron Rodgers is old as dirt, to.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Be honest with you. I actually think if it's just overtime and it's one Aaron Rodgers possession and one possession with T.J. watt on the other side of the ball, I actually feel better about them than across an entire game.

[Danny Heifets]

Even though the other idea for this episode was drafting fractures in Aaron Rodgers's wrist. Because there's three, there's.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Well, you just took a guy who's fibulous cracked as well. There's only one crack though in his leg.

[Danny Heifets]

Well, they said it can't get worse. The Rogers one could.

[Danny Kelly]

You know Rogers, Rogers is funny because Craig, you're right. Like he can still hit high level throws. He just hardly ever does that. If, if we had to pick someone.

[Craig Korlbeck]

If we had to.

[Danny Kelly]

If I had to pick a team that was like we're on the 50 yard line and we need one play to win the game. Like Rogers might first pick well.

[Craig Korlbeck]

But here, here's what I'll say about Pittsburgh. They have I think the best kicker in the NFL or if not or the second Chris Bob.

[Danny Kelly]

That's true.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Their defense can generate turnovers. They have, they have, they have guys like Jaylen Ramsey, TJ Watt who can make big plays in crunch time moments. And we've seen it year after year from those two and to his credit, when he needs to in a two minute drill. Still looks good.

[Danny Heifets]

The Steelers have a brand of being like a fundamentals defense, but they're. Or fundamentals team, but they're actually just all explosive plays in a way. It's like they actually need on defense. I mean they're not bend, but don't break. They don't really have great defense. No, they take shots, get turnovers and sacks and like that's it, man. Like, if they don't get a TJ Watt strip sack, there is no stop. If they don't get a Jalen Ramsey force fumble, there is no stop. But that works in overtime.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I'm upset I didn't take the Steelers.

[Danny Kelly]

I think the Steelers one is you make good. You make good points. I still am taking Herbert's flamethrower. I mean, just think about some of the throws he's made on like third long in the playoffs. And I just.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I just want that and both of their losses.

[Danny Heifets]

Well, like the Raiders. It bothers me that the Raiders Week 17 game where the winner makes the playoffs is encountered as a playoff game. Like, that's a playoff game. If you wake, you win it, you make the playoffs like your season's on the line. That's the whole point. And he made like four fourth and nines.

[Craig Korlbeck]

No, that was. That was an incredible game.

[Danny Heifets]

But yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

So I mean, look, the.

[Craig Korlbeck]

The freaking.

[Danny Kelly]

At least the Chargers fans aren't booing Renegade.

[Danny Heifets]

So here's.

[Craig Korlbeck]

They don't even have a song.

[Danny Heifets]

Here's the order that we draft these things in.

[Danny Kelly]

It's a plus in this case.

[Danny Heifets]

Song's good. The. The song is played in the third quarter anyway. So again, this is teams that we trust to win if they go to overtime in the playoffs. And the order we went with here was the Rams, the Colts.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, wait, you did okay. Thank God.

[Danny Heifets]

Rams, Bills, Chiefs, Cowboys, Packers, Patriots, Seahawks, Broncos, Texans, Bears, Niners, Lions, Ravens, Bucks, Eagles, Bengals, Colts, Chargers, dk. What is something you think you learned from doing this?

[Danny Kelly]

It's always. It's still just all about the quarterback. Yeah, it always is.

[Danny Heifets]

Totally.

[Danny Kelly]

It always will be.

[Craig Korlbeck]

It's. It's. Yeah. Hi, Fitz. You saying that the era or like we're in the in between stages of the NFL right now? That's true. But because we haven't entered the next era, we're still holding on to the one that, that we're leaving, which is Josh Allen, which is Mahomes, and which is still Matt Stafford. So I think it's like, until we see otherwise, you have to kind of stick with the. The people who. Who brought you there every day.

[Danny Heifets]

I totally agree. And I think that's why this playoffs, right. Right now it's weird because we're like, who's good? But when the playoffs happen, I. If we see Drake May and Jordan Love or Bo Nix or whoever string together wins in the playoffs.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah. Darnold Stroud. There's so many different possibilities. Ringer107 this competition we're doing goes to through the playoffs. It's going to be the hardest playoffs to bet in 10 years.

[Danny Heifets]

There's a tremendous opportunity for like the the amount the stock someone can be Nvidia stock in the NFL this year based on a Super bowl run. You know what I mean? Like what that would do for Jordan. Love what that would do for Darnold. What that would do for Drake May or for even, you know, b Knicks. Like I there's, there's a tremendous, tremendous vacuum right now.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Who's do you guys like your team? What's the your your the pick you are you like the most and you like the least.

[Danny Heifets]

I almost regretted taking not taking the Eagles and then I remember they suck because Nick Sirianni is running the offense. So that was my rant. So I feel fine.

[Danny Kelly]

I am excited about having the Patriots for some reason. I just like want to hitch my wagon to May.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Who do you regret picking the most?

[Danny Kelly]

I think I have the most trepidation about the Seahawks.

[Danny Heifets]

I regret taking the Niners over the Lions.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I probably regret taking the Bears.

[Danny Heifets]

Yeah, that was kind of dumb. Dude, you're there's no way you believe in Caleb Williams at the end of the game.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I don't know what it is but I it's not Caleb. I just, I don't know Ben Johnson.

[Danny Heifets]

Like the plays will be there like the play. But it's the quarterback, the plays, the running game. I agree. All that, the defense you're counting on.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I think Caleb's legs like again in an overtime situation. Like I think Caleb can get you down the field. I really do.

[Danny Heifets]

Yeah. Okay. This episode is brought to you by United Airlines. Flying just got easier with the United Airlines app. Get real time flight updates like a live countdown clock to boarding even if your screen's locked as well as play by play directions through the airport with a personalized map. And if you want to make a game time decision and go home early or stay longer, there are no fees to change your flight. Get the united [e-mail] app no fees to change your flight. Excludes basic economy applies to flights originating in the US Fare difference may apply. This episode is brought to you by Velveeta. Gameday is all about the tailgate spread. First. First things first. Who's bringing the Velveeta drip? Just like your favorite players on the field, Velveeta fans go all in on what they love. Creamy shells and cheese, melty Velveeta blocks and cheesy jarred Queso's. They're taking down one taste bud at a time. Velveeta is the real MVP of the tailgate. You've got to respect the drip. Do yourself a favor and stock up on Velveeta before kickoff. Don't miss the movie event of a lifetime. Visionary director James Cameron presents the greatest chapter of the biggest saga of all time. Avatar, Fire and Ash, now playing in theaters. A new threat will rise in the character of Varong, who leads the ruthless Ash people. And a stunning new discovery will threaten to change the world of Avatar forever. Avatar, Fire and Ash, now playing in theaters, IMAX and 3D screens everywhere. Get tickets now. All right, the Ringer Fantasy Football show is brought to you by FanDuel. Thursday Night Football continues to deliver and FanDuel's keeping the energy up with their $2 million Thursday Night Football jackpot. Place it anytime. Touchdown score bet using your profit boost and if your player scores the first or last touchdown of the game, you'll earn a share of $2 million in bonus bets. Head to FanDuel.com Ringer Fantasy to download the app and get started. FanDuel, an official sportsbook partner of the NFL, must be 21 + in present in select states or 18 + in present in D.C. kentucky or Wyoming. Opt in must apply profit boost, token and select market prize pool to be split equally among all eligible participants who made the correct first or last TD pick. Bonus issued is non withdrawable bonus bets which expire 21 days after receipt. Restrictions apply. See [e-mail] gambling problem. Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit rg-help.com call 1-888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org chat in Connecticut. Okay, Ringer Fantasy Football League Update we should have a lot of updates here for the Ringer Fantasy Football League. Starting with the standings. DK and I have locked in the top two spots. DK beat me this week. I kind of tempted the fantasy gods, but we are the two. We're locked into the top two spots. We're both 10 and three. Ah, House and Sal have clinched.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, people have clinched playoff spots now.

[Danny Heifets]

Out of the 10. So there's two spots left. And this is where it gets important.

[Danny Kelly]

Our boy Bangkok Craig is at 6 and 7 right now.

[Craig Korlbeck]

He's in place. I have no shot to make it in. Unfortunately.

[Danny Heifets]

DK forgets.

[Danny Kelly]

So shoot, we're doing the points thing.

[Danny Heifets]

We're doing the last thing, which is my idea.

[Craig Korlbeck]

And it's gonna. I'm gonna be hoisted by my own.

[Danny Kelly]

Talk about your own. Your all time backfires.

[Danny Heifets]

Craig pitched at the last second for this league that the six of the 10 playoff spots, the final two should not be by record, should be by points.

[Danny Kelly]

4.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I'm not sure if it was at the last second, but if you're adding that on as a flare of dramatics. Sure. But I think that was you said.

[Danny Kelly]

At the final two.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah, I think that is the right way to play fantasy. We do it in my home league. I think it ensures that the best.

[Danny Heifets]

Best six teams, super fair. There was no debate. We're like, okay, that's cool. Like, so the base of the best four records make it, then the best, the most points scored of the six remaining teams are make it. And those games make the playoffs. Craig would have clinched the playoffs basically if he. If we had not done that. But now Craig is actually, instead of being in fifth place by record, Craig's in eighth place by points four. And so now Craig, I believe needs to outscore. Craig would need to outscore Bill or mallory by like 40 points this week to make the playoffs, which is like.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Technically possible, but probably not.

[Danny Kelly]

You could really go by 40.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah, I could, but it's possible.

[Danny Heifets]

It happens sometimes, but it happens.

[Danny Kelly]

I outscored high Fitz by 40 today. First place.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I outscored Bill by 35 literally last week.

[Danny Kelly]

So.

[Danny Heifets]

But so that's the thing. So Bill, right now. So right now, Sean, sorry. Right now. Chris Ryan would get the fifth spot. Bill would get the sixth spot. Mel would get seven.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Sneaking into the playoffs is just.

[Danny Heifets]

Would be hilarious because of your rules.

[Craig Korlbeck]

You know what, that's better for content if Bill's in the playoffs.

[Danny Kelly]

So.

[Danny Heifets]

Well, so with that said, this one out, I also tempted the fantasy gods because I was in first place and I kind of clinched. I absolutely already clinched a first round buy. And I would had to cut a good player off my bench to activate Darren Waller off my IR to put him in tight end. And I was kind of like it. Maybe I'll just beat DK in fantasy this week without a tight end. That'd be funny. And I was like, I don't want to cut any of these players. I'm getting a first round buy. Does it really matter if you come in first or second place if you get the buy? Do you. Does anyone remember who came in first in the regular season of your fantasy league? Like no. Some people remember who won the league. No one remembers who came in first. Who cares? Don't cut a good player. And then the game started and I was like, man, I really wish I had, like, played all my players this week.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Well, now you might get the two seed.

[Danny Heifets]

Oh, it wouldn't have mattered, but I just think I tempted the fantasy gods. It's hubris. You know what I mean?

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, you don't want to do that.

[Danny Heifets]

So I'm a little worried about.

[Danny Kelly]

Flew too close to the sun on that one high. Fitz.

[Danny Heifets]

Everyone I was thinking about cutting scored 20 points. So I. I know, I know why I did it. But regardless, I'm a little worried. So it might not come in first. But here's the. So yeah, that's the big ringer Fantasy league update. But now we have to go to fantasy court.

[Danny Kelly]

Definitely don't tell anyone about this thing that you're doing.

[Danny Heifets]

I don't really want to be handcuffed.

[Craig Korlbeck]

The definition of an object is a material thing that can be seen in and touched.

[Danny Kelly]

The video is just. Just really makes that hit.

[Danny Heifets]

So this fantasy court is from Danny.

[Danny Kelly]

Is this you? No, I'm not doing a debone.

[Danny Heifets]

Okay. Well, Danny writes, I'm the commissioner of my work league. 10 teams, six teams out of 10 make the playoffs. Top four by record, next to by points scored. And we have a really elaborate punishment system where everyone before the season drafted bespoke punishment for who exact. Like what your punishment would do if you came in last place. So instead of everyone agreeing on the same thing, everyone self selected a punishment themselves and they could draft it in the middle of the draft whenever they wanted. And so this was for last place. And I have been playing fantasy quite a long time. I've played fantasy a lot. I'm in like 10 leagues and in literally every single league I'm in, the punishment is who comes in last in the toilet bowl. So all the non playoff teams are filtered into a tournament and the loser the tournament's last place.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifets]

And only recently have I learned a lot of people just kind of say the losers, whoever came in last place by standings. And I really, really, really need to figure out who's what last place actually means for this giant work league we're doing. And so I just kind of wanted Craig and DK's, you know, unbiased thoughts on what last place is in the. In. In the league that I'm in.

[Craig Korlbeck]

This email some who.

[Danny Heifets]

Danny.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Danny. What did Danny have for breakfast?

[Danny Heifets]

Did they say Danny skipped breakfast and then had a rice and salmon lunch around 11:30.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Okay. We, I would check to see if you decided that before the season began what the losers bracket situation would be, because I believe that it is, it is likely that you decided that there was a toilet bowl.

[Danny Heifets]

I think toy. I think toilet bowl. Right. Like someone asked me this. Sal was. This all happened. Sal was making fun of you. It was like, it's regular place standings. And I'm like, no, it's not. Why would you incentivize everyone? Okay. I'm not crazy. Right. Sal made fun of me. It's not standings. Why would you tell people. Yeah. After week 14, don't check the league anymore. It, the whole point is you have to do the final few weeks. Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

I believe strongly that you should create a toilet bowl type of format.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Way more fun.

[Danny Heifets]

Yeah, I totally. Okay. I thought I was a little worried you guys were going to disagree.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I'm like, whoever's in last at the end of week 14.

[Danny Heifets]

That's what he was saying.

[Craig Korlbeck]

No, no. Losers bracket is way more dramatic. It's way more fun. It incentivizes people at the, at the bottom of the league to still try and focus on.

[Danny Kelly]

Hypothetically, this league was created for making content.

[Danny Heifets]

Oh, I, I so that with that said, I'm wondering about one tweak instead of the toilet bowl, which I think is just a week 15, they face each other and then a two week thing. Should it just be the bottom four teams? Just the cumulative score of the playoff. Like week 15.

[Danny Kelly]

The toilet bowl rumble.

[Danny Heifets]

Yeah. Whoever scores the fewest of those three teams gets last of the four, you mean? Yeah. So the teams that don't make playoffs, the. Whoever scores the least points of all of them over a three week period. Kind of inarguably your last.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah, we could do that. Or head to head matchup. The head to head matchup is kind of funny because then like you have a championship toilet bowl matchup and it's like, who's gonna, you know, you can tease that out a little bit more. Okay. It's like Sean versus me. Who's. Isn't Sean's punishment that he has to wear a headband?

[Danny Heifets]

Oh, with that said, let me go through what are the. Okay, we're sticking with the toilet bowl. I was worried that you guys would disagree because I was getting gas.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I love the toilet bowl. I do it in all my leagues.

[Danny Heifets]

Okay, good. We're sticking with that. We're sticking with what's in this league.

[Craig Korlbeck]

So anyway, so this was South Complaint.

[Danny Kelly]

Like we said that before the year we did.

[Craig Korlbeck]

We could go back and find a text where we said the toilet bowls happen.

[Danny Heifets]

Okay, good. We're sticking with what we agreed on before the season. So with that said, the punishments, the reminders, things we don't have to do. DK was had to do eyebrow slits like Vanilla Ice, but has clinched the playoffs.

[Danny Kelly]

Hell yeah.

[Danny Heifets]

I. Because I was hosting the YouTube live thing.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Why are we reading? Read the bottom.

[Danny Kelly]

First place.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Read the bottom six. The people who aren't clinched.

[Danny Heifets]

So Bill, if he comes in last place, we'll have to wear a jersey of the winners choosing on a podcast for the entire time, which is dangerous. Mallory, if she comes in last, we'll have to call a person of each team's choosing on their birthday in 2026.

[Danny Kelly]

I mean, that's just sweet. It's just nice.

[Danny Heifets]

So, like, we get. I could be like, hey, you have to call my mom on her birthday. And Mallory would have to call her Craig.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, my God, Mallory. If Mallory had to call Skippy, that'd be the best.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I'm just gonna now have to call like. Like my doctor's office. Schedule me an appointment. Something I don't want to do.

[Danny Heifets]

That's really funny.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, that actually is way better.

[Danny Heifets]

One phone related errand is your AI.

[Danny Kelly]

Agent that's actually making a point.

[Craig Korlbeck]

She's my temporary clanker. Yeah.

[Danny Heifets]

Craig drafted no coffee for a week. Dk. Executive privilege. We are tweaking this to no matcha for a week.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Oh, no matcha. I'll switch to coffee. I'll switch to coffee.

[Danny Kelly]

Always done. No coffee for a week.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah, that's why it's genius. You guys shouldn't have allowed.

[Danny Heifets]

Actually, no, he should have to drink coffee for a week. He has to drink coffee for a week.

[Danny Kelly]

He's. He's the. He's the guy that drinks coffee on vacation. He's. He likes it.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I'll have a little cappuccino.

[Danny Heifets]

Well, no problem. Craig's. Chris's punishment is. I think we get to. We get to choose his phone background for a week.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Or was it. No, I think it was phone case or phone background.

[Danny Heifets]

Oh, it was case in background. Yeah, Case and background for a week.

[Craig Korlbeck]

We got to do case.

[Danny Heifets]

Van Van Lathan is the winner gets to post from his account on Twitter once a week for a month.

[Danny Kelly]

Rage. Rage bait.

[Danny Heifets]

Yeah, it's. But like, most controversial tweets imaginable. And then Sean. Yeah. Venice has to wear a headband on an entire pod, but he's not allowed to address it.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I don't know why? But I want that one so bad.

[Danny Kelly]

Like, Sean not allowed to say anything.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Because you realize that there's a small chance that this happens. Like, in the first episode where the big picture's on Netflix.

[Danny Heifets]

Oh, and he's, like, interviewing Warner Hartzell.

[Danny Kelly]

The Venn diagram of people that, like, know about this from watching the fantasy draft versus people who are watching his stuff.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Sean's gonna be talking to, like, Chloe Zhao about Hamnet wearing a headband.

[Danny Heifets]

It's also the timing. It's right during Oscar season. Is funny coming last.

[Craig Korlbeck]

It's so good. I really want that one to happen.

[Danny Heifets]

He's, like, going over the bafta, what it means for the Oscars, and he's right.

[Danny Kelly]

Now Sean is in second to last.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I know. Sean is. Sean is second lowest points. Yeah. Van is in a tough spot, but Van wants to lose. Van wants people to tweet for him.

[Danny Heifets]

I know.

[Danny Kelly]

He's like. Like, he wants all the smoke.

[Danny Heifets]

It's so good. So, yeah. Okay. Toilet bowl upcoming.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I will say, though, even though it was my idea to do this points wild card situation, I will be bitching if I am the 5 seed by record and don't make the fucking playoffs, I will be upset.

[Danny Heifets]

Who are you going to?

[Craig Korlbeck]

I don't know, but I will be bitching.

[Danny Kelly]

Look at the mirror, pal. Like, pointing at yourself in the mirror.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I need to make it known. Have you guys seen those phone cases? This is what we should do for Chris Ryan. Have you seen those phone cases that look like an old. Old, like, 90s phone? It's, like, giant. It's, like, a foot tall. And the whole point of it is to make you look at your phone less because it's so.

[Danny Heifets]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're like ten pounds. Yeah. And Chris comes back and he's like, yeah, stop using my phone. And I'm like, I remember the 90s.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifets]

Just, like, happier.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I just want to see him having to carry that in, but, like, he can't put in his pocket for a week.

[Danny Heifets]

So good. That's. I. That is elite.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifets]

Email us at ringer Fantasy football gmail dot com. That's a good case idea. Yeah. Jersey ideas for Bill. And then, yeah, I cut headband. We had. We get to buy Sean's headband. We got to figure out what that headband is, too. So we'll see. Okay.

[Danny Kelly]

Sean's probably. Sean's got. He's gonna be sweating out these last couple of weeks, man.

[Craig Korlbeck]

That's what the toilet bowl is amazing. Imagine if it's like, Chris Ryan and Sean Fighting over whether one of them has to wear a headband or have a 1987 phone case.

[Danny Heifets]

Okay, that's so.

[Craig Korlbeck]

That's so good.

[Danny Heifets]

All right. This episode is brought to you by American Eagle. Gift, gift. Hooray. Give great jeans this holiday season with American Eagle. They have all the wish list worthy new arrivals for everyone on your list, including you. Check out the comfy cozy sweaters, soft fleece sweatshirts, hoodies, flannels, and so much more. Plus you'll love their trending jeans like the high waisted stovepipe, original straight, original bootcut and a whole bunch of other fits. They've got every style and everyone covered. You can check it all [e-mail] or just go to the store. I went to the store last week in the mall and I got a bunch of American eagles and it's awesome.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Nice.

[Danny Heifets]

Got a great jacket, jeans.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah. Looking good for your Christmas parties, family gatherings. Yeah.

[Danny Heifets]

Original straight.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I love getting some new clothes for. For the holiday season.

[Danny Kelly]

It was great. Yeah, it's awesome. Nothing feels better. All right.

[Danny Heifets]

Couple email. We can just do an email.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Wait, did you see. Do you see these two phone cases? I texted the group brick. Look at the brick one.

[Danny Heifets]

It's so big.

[Danny Kelly]

So big.

[Craig Korlbeck]

We'll put it on Instagram.

[Danny Kelly]

I kind of want that. I'm not kidding.

[Danny Heifets]

So that's so funny.

[Danny Kelly]

Like Zach Morris over here.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Oh, God.

[Danny Kelly]

That's for my like.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Imagine trying to go on a walk with that thing. You can't. You like.

[Danny Heifets]

That is incredible.

[Danny Kelly]

What if we put his phone, like connected it to like a Shake Weight type of situation?

[Craig Korlbeck]

Oh, we make our own case.

[Danny Heifets]

Yeah, someone did that. That's what I was talking about. Someone made like a case out of metal because they wanted to make their case, like cinder block because they have the pickups, you know.

[Danny Kelly]

Take his cinder block wherever he goes.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I wanna. What if we attach it to like a pool noodle?

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, I like that.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Then what? Checkmate, Chris. Now what? He's just walking.

[Danny Kelly]

He's like, I'm just not having a phone this week.

[Craig Korlbeck]

He's gotta, like, put the pool noodle.

[Danny Kelly]

In his car, bring it with him. That's the key thing here.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I mean, it's his phone, right? If he doesn't want to, I guess he doesn't have to, but he's gonna have to figure out how to put a pool noodle.

[Danny Heifets]

It would be funny to get a thing of concrete and like pour it and put the phone case in the concrete and then you just slip the.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Phone in so he physically Literally cannot pick it up.

[Danny Kelly]

Like, the jello trick on. On the office. Put his phone in jello.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I just want. The headband is so good.

[Danny Heifets]

There's. There's a lot of good options here. Mallory coming last week on First.

[Danny Kelly]

At first blush, Craig, like, the headband. The headband thing sounds dumb to me. Like, I'm like, oh, that's whatever. I'll wear a headband. I can't describe exactly what he has to do. I'm like, oh, my God.

[Danny Heifets]

It's like his very busy season is the best part.

[Craig Korlbeck]

He's, like, sitting down with Ryan Coogler and he has a headband on. I just think that's would be so good. He probably wouldn't do it for.

[Danny Kelly]

He's gonna refuse.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah.

[Danny Heifets]

Oh, my God.

[Danny Kelly]

All right.

[Danny Heifets]

Okay. For emails here, I'll read one from. The. This email was from Not a hyena.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Okay.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh. Seems like something kind of did the.

[Danny Heifets]

Same bit here twice. Kind of ruined it. But this person kind of wrote in, kind of joking about being a hyena. It was a bunch of hyena facts because we were kind of talking hyenas.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. Oh.

[Danny Heifets]

And they wrote in and they had a bunch of facts about hyenas. And it's pretty crazy. The jaws can chew through bone. And I was kind of reading. I'm like, oh, wow, matriarchal. That's pretty cool. Social hierarchy. I'm like, oh, this is cool. They can run really fast. And then this sentence just stopped me in my tracks. And they. They were like, yeah. You know, they're like, oh, yeah, the laughing. It's like famous complex communication system, you know, all these facts. They can run up to eight miles. The calls can go 10 miles. And then there's a sentence. Female hyenas have a pseudo penis because their clit can be erect in up to 7 inches.

[Danny Kelly]

Did you just say clit?

[Danny Heifets]

Click.

[Danny Kelly]

Wait, sorry. Say that you. Did you call a hyenas? You said you were pointing out a hyena's clit.

[Danny Heifets]

Female height. This sentence was in the email. Female hyenas have a pseudo penis because their clit can be erected up to 7 inches.

[Danny Kelly]

Can we not say. What should he have said clitoris or something? I don't know.

[Danny Heifets]

DK says, who's the biggest boss, like, all the time. I read an email.

[Danny Kelly]

It's weird to shorten it to clit.

[Danny Heifets]

All right, well, they did it, so. Oh, like me saying clitoris would be.

[Danny Kelly]

It is better. We're talking, like, about the animal kingdom now.

[Danny Heifets]

So anyway, I was like, well, there's no way that that is true. I am not gonna just take the word of this random emailer who made a fake Gmail called not.

[Danny Kelly]

You Googled it. Hyena clip.

[Danny Heifets]

So I looked into it.

[Danny Kelly]

I looked into it.

[Danny Heifets]

Well, I found the Wikipedia article for pseudo penis.

[Danny Kelly]

Is a hyena the only one that has a pseudo penis or. No comment.

[Danny Heifets]

No, it's not. So Wikipedia. A pseudo penis is any structure found on an animal that while superficially appearing to be a penis, is derived from a different developmental path. Mammals, all intact developmentally. Typical males have a penis, but in some species the clitoris is in. The females of the following species are sufficiently large, would you say?

[Danny Kelly]

Thank you for saying clitoris that time.

[Danny Heifets]

Well, I'm just reading the Wikipedia, but the. It's. They're sufficiently large that it's termed a pseudo penis. And this is true in the spotted hyena, the juvenile fossa, elephants, binturong lemurs and spider monkeys.

[Danny Kelly]

No, that's awesome. What's a binturong?

[Danny Heifets]

That looks like a weird bear dog.

[Craig Korlbeck]

How big? Imagine how big a pseudo.

[Danny Kelly]

Look up a binturong. These are the coolest looking animals I've ever seen. Yeah, they're kind of like a scary red panda.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Badgers. Oh, wow.

[Danny Kelly]

Whoa. That's cool, dude.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Imagine the size of an elephant's pseudo penis.

[Danny Heifets]

It's wild. So these animals, I believe, are all matriarchal. So. So there actually is a real reason also I think that developmentally, like, all those parts become like. And also. Wait, I'm just gonna keep reading here.

[Craig Korlbeck]

By the way, whoever's listening, the next trivia on Monday. All three of them should be animal penis length.

[Danny Heifets]

Yeah, that's pseudo penis, if you can.

[Danny Kelly]

Or penis. All right, so you're saying that basically the pseudo penis gives these animals bde and that's why.

[Danny Heifets]

But it's the. It's the women, to be clear. Right, but the female spotted. So it gets. The animal kingdom is fascinating, man. The female. The female spotted hyena urinates, copulates and gives birth through the pseudo penis.

[Craig Korlbeck]

It what? It pees out of the clitoris and.

[Danny Heifets]

Gives birth and has sex.

[Danny Kelly]

It gives birth through their pseudo penis.

[Danny Heifets]

So you're not seeing an interstellar where the ships kind of have to align. Yeah, I think that's kind of how it works.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Docking.

[Danny Heifets]

Yeah, docked.

[Danny Kelly]

Right.

[Danny Heifets]

But as weird and gross as this is, it's kind of interesting because the reason evolutionary it prevents males from mating without basically consent from women from the females. So the mating preferences of the females are dominant. So the they're matriarchal species that have this because it selects the men. Can't just like.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah, yeah.

[Danny Heifets]

Have sex with any of the women. So there are matriarchal species and all these species that have this, the pseudo penis, they're all matriarchal and they dominate the males. The males are subservient.

[Danny Kelly]

Wow, that is fascinating.

[Danny Heifets]

So that was what I was doing this morning.

[Danny Kelly]

I'm gonna spend the next, like, two hours researching benturongs. Not pseudo penises. Binturongs.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Because is a word that sounds like it is. It is a pseudo penis. A binturong.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I can't believe the PN give birth through that.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. I don't get that. How do they buy it?

[Craig Korlbeck]

How do they. An elephant get. Wait, you're talking about an elephant gives birth through the pseudo penis.

[Danny Heifets]

That's what Wikipedia says.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I feel like that can't be.

[Danny Kelly]

Just look up.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Where.

[Danny Kelly]

Where does an elephant give birth through? What does it. Elephant. Some of these.

[Danny Heifets]

Gemini. Come on, Gemini.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Come on, Gemini.

[Danny Heifets]

Oh, Gemini has different thoughts.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah, there's no way.

[Danny Heifets]

Yeah, no, Gemini doesn't agree.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Okay.

[Danny Kelly]

Well, I'm glad we did our research on that.

[Danny Heifets]

Anyway, when I asked for hyena facts wasn't what I had in mind.

[Danny Kelly]

We really got some. That was awesome. Craig, did you see any animals giving birth when you went to Africa in the wild?

[Craig Korlbeck]

I don't believe I did, no.

[Danny Kelly]

Okay. Did you see a rhino just like Ace?

[Craig Korlbeck]

I saw a human man come out of the backside of a rhino.

[Danny Heifets]

You say they showed the Danny.

[Craig Korlbeck]

The.

[Danny Heifets]

The It's Always Sunny clip on the Manning cast? The Danny DeVito coming out of the couch butt naked.

[Danny Kelly]

They showed that? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Danny Heifets]

And they. Danny DeVito couldn't believe it. He was actually just cackling.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, man.

[Danny Heifets]

All right, we should probably get the fuck out of here. Okay. Thank you, dk. Thank you, Craig. Thank you ever for listening. Thank you everyone for adding us on the wrapped if. Please share us on Instagram. Share us any. Thank you to everyone who's listened to either 10 seconds of this or you're in the hundredth percentile. Like, thank you to everyone. It is just. It's awesome that we're on your rap, so thank you so much. Thank you, Kai. Thank you, Carlos. Thank you, Ronick. Thank you, Austin. Thank you, Lord.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Lord.

[Danny Kelly]

Thank you, Sticks.

[Craig Korlbeck]

All right, Little renegade.

[Danny Heifets]

Love renegade.

[Danny Kelly]

The Jake is up. I don't know the words. That's all I know.

[Danny Heifets]

That was great. When we were in Ireland and they. They sang that.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, that was.

[Craig Korlbeck]

That Was really cool. That's cool.

[Danny Kelly]

Because they didn't boo it. Right.

[Craig Korlbeck]

They were. They won that game.

[Danny Kelly]

Right.

[Craig Korlbeck]

That was the best game DK Metcalf.

[Danny Kelly]

Will ever have on the Steelers because of one play.

[Danny Heifets]

Yeah.

[Craig Korlbeck]

They also have Come Sail Away. That's a good song.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, is that them and Mr. Roboto, right? Oh, yeah.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

That's a good one.

[Danny Heifets]

Is that sticks?

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Danny Heifets]

I did not know that.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I don't know anything about them.

[Danny Kelly]

Sticks. Okay, let's see. There they are. American rock band formed in Chicago, 1972.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I actually. I don't know the sticks. Renegade Steelers origin. Do you know that Heifetz?

[Danny Heifets]

I don't either.

[Danny Kelly]

I don't either. I know. Steelers fan. You got to know this stuff.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I know to be. I don't know. I feel like I didn't live. I've never lived in Pittsburgh. I feel like that's kind of a.

[Danny Heifets]

Renegade started for the Steelers. They played it in 2002 and they. And the team did really well after the song played. And they just kept playing it.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Oh. So it was just like the. The music supervisor of Hines Field just played that. And they were like.

[Danny Heifets]

I feel like that's how all of the things go. All traditions are kind of like it happened once and it works. So we just. Just never stopped.

[Craig Korlbeck]

It's just a rally cap. But a song.

[Danny Heifets]

Yes, though.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Okay. Maybe they need a new song.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Maybe we should try different.

[Danny Kelly]

Everything comes to an end at some point.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Yeah, I know. Like Sweet Caroline. All the Boston people hate that now.

[Danny Heifets]

Can't eat forks. We can't eat soups with forks.

[Craig Korlbeck]

That's right.

[Danny Heifets]

That should be a punishment in the league next year. You have to eat soup with a fork.

[Craig Korlbeck]

Isn't somebody have to do. Joe House has to do two cold cans of soup if he gets last.

[Danny Heifets]

Clinch the playoffs though once again, he's.

[Danny Kelly]

Kind of excited about that.

[Craig Korlbeck]

I feel like he actively wanted it.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, he like took that 10th second round.

[Danny Heifets]

Goodbye.

[Danny Kelly]

Everyone.

[Danny Heifets]

Must be 21 + in present in select states for Kansas in affiliation with Kansas Star Casino or 18 + in present in D.C. kentucky or Wyoming. Gambling problem. Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit rg-help.com, call 1-888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org chat in Connecticut or visit mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland. Hope is here. Visit gamblinghelp linema.org or call 800-327-5050 for 24. 7 support in Massachusetts or call 1-877-8-Hopeny or text hopeny in New York.