The NFL Schedule Draft, A.K.A. the "Don't Get Divorced" Draft. Plus, Heifetz's Wedding Recap.

Summary

The Ringer Fantasy Football Show – “The NFL Schedule Draft AKA The ‘Don’t Get Divorced’ Draft. Plus, Heifetz’s Wedding Recap”

Date: May 25, 2026
Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, Craig Horlbeck
Premise: Three friends (all now married) break down the treacherous, marriage-endangering NFL schedule for 2026, and compete in a draft to construct the optimal football-watching calendar that balances fandom and domestic harmony. Plus, an in-depth and heartfelt recap of Heifetz’s recent wedding.

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Overview of the Episode’s Main Theme

This episode centers on the intersection of NFL fandom and marriage, as all three hosts are now married men facing the most relentless NFL schedule in history—including games on nearly every holiday, weekday, and major life milestone. The guys respond with the tongue-in-cheek “Don’t Get Divorced Draft,” where they “draft” the best and most skippable football weekends/holiday games/international games to maximize both gridiron devotion and spousal goodwill. The show closes with a sincere and funny breakdown of Danny Heifetz’s wedding.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. 2026 NFL Schedule Insanity

• Introduction of the “Don’t Get Divorced Draft”

  • [01:49]–[02:54]: The season is “teetering on insane”: Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Sunday, Monday… and even a Super Bowl on Valentine’s Day.
  • Notable expansion: Games on Christmas Eve, Thanksgiving Eve, New Year’s Eve, and international games in Australia, Germany, and Paris.

• Emotional Impact of the Schedule

  • [03:27]–[03:41]: “There’s a Christmas Eve Eve game… Thanksgiving Eve Eve game… games every day of the week. Several weeks. This year it’s freaking crazy.”

2. Immediate NFL News: Aaron Rodgers’ Return

• [03:57]–[07:55]: Aaron Rodgers signs with the Steelers—at the actual time of Heifetz’s wedding—leading to speculation that Rodgers did it on purpose to troll the hosts.
  • Quote: “It’s not impossible that Aaron Rodgers signed during my wedding on purpose to fuck with me.”
    — Danny Kelly [04:03]
• Craig’s reaction: “It took him literally 15 minutes to buy in,” despite the up-and-down Steelers narrative.
• The Rodgers/McCarthy reunion: “In any sport, how often do Hall of Fame QB and Super Bowl coach get back together nearly a decade later?” — DK [09:34]

3. Diving Into The Schedule: The “Don’t Get Divorced” Draft (Starts ~[13:44])

Draft Structure & Categories

• Best (can’t-miss) primetime slates (2 picks)
• Skippable primetime slates (2 picks)
• Holiday games to watch (2)
• Holiday games to skip for family time (2)
• International games to wake up for (1)
• International games to skip (1)

Host Strategies

• The stakes: Schedule the season around your partner (“…take something for yourself but also give back” — Craig [14:00])
• The lens: How to maximize “spousal capital” by skipping certain games for major relationship points.

Notable Draft Selections and Arguments

• Prime Example:

  • “I am setting this aside. I won’t be watching this Ravens at Bengals, New Year’s Eve. It’s my anniversary. I’m not sitting around at home watching NFL on New Year’s Eve.” — Heifetz [19:03]
  • “New Year’s Eve is the WORST day for football all year. New Year’s Day, you’re hungover—it’s perfect for football…” — Danny Kelly [19:49]

• Primetime Week 1 is #1

  • [22:30]: “Week One—Wednesday night, Pat Seahawks; Thursday, Niners Rams in Australia; Sunday, Cowboys Giants; Monday, Broncos Chiefs. You’re not worn down yet. That’s my top pick.” — Craig

• Thanksgiving & Christmas Scheduling Minefields

  • “[Thanksgiving evening] You have to wrap up dinner before Bill’s Chiefs ends.” — DK [25:49]
  • “Christmas night is secretly not that fun… Thank God for New Year’s. Christmas night, you’re just sitting there with the presents hangover.” — Craig [27:50]
  • “Christmas night—of all the land grabs the NFL has made, that’s the least offensive to me.” — DK [28:42]
  • “Christmas morning—if you have kids, you have to skip it. That’s for the kids.” — Craig [29:44]

• Holiday Game Moral Boycotts

  • “Christmas Eve is un-American, inhuman to watch a football game.” — DK [28:47]
  • “Thanksgiving Eve… that night has a special vibe. If you’re hosting, you can’t watch this game.” — DK [37:22–38:44]

• International Games: Reaching Peak Absurdity

  • “[Patriots-Lions in Munich] is the best international game this year. Lions are always fun, and Amon-Ra speaks German on TV.” — DK [32:45]

4. Tangents and Memorable Moments

• The Brian Johnson Bit

  • [58:48]–[60:48]: Hilariously uncomfortable discussion about Brian Johnson “measuring literally everything,” including—bizarrely—his sex life, his partner’s vaginal microbiome, and “boner hardness ratios.”

• Magic Johnson’s Social (Media) Mastery

  • [63:08]–[63:47]: Delight at Magic Johnson’s “banal” but comforting social media play-by-play.

• NBA and Wedding Song Detours

  • [82:01]–[85:01]: Riffs on Wembanyama’s emergence and what really makes a sports phenom.
  • [91:12]–[93:16]: Dissecting “Shout” as a wedding staple—did Animal House or Wedding Crashers make it what it is?

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Notable Quotes and Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Marital Sacrifice for Football:
  “I will ignore this because I love you… You’re more important to me than this game.”
  — Danny H, discussing skipping Ravens/Bengals on New Year’s Eve [22:16]

• Defending Your Team’s Quarterback:
  “It took you 15 minutes to buy in on Rodgers”
  — Heifetz to Craig [19:28]

• Prime Time Fatigue:
  “It’s a roller coaster ride… Swung too far about how bad Rodgers was. Not a fucking disaster last year.”
  — Craig on Steelers QB expectations [06:35]

• Schedule Sadness:
  “There’s fucking games every day of the week. Several weeks this year. It’s freaking crazy.”
  — Heifetz [03:28]

• Embracing the Football Grind:
  “Thanksgiving eve, Thanksgiving, and then finally your poor wife is like what can we do some days. On that note, I think it’s a great football experience…”
  — DK [36:52]

• Wedding Wisdom:
  “Marriage is like volunteering. It’s a lot of work every day but it’s fulfilling.”
  — Heifetz’s wedding officiant (as relayed by DK) [89:52]

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Danny Heifetz’s Wedding Recap [65:03–90:33]

• Personal, Local, and Walkable Wedding:

  • Four D.C. locations tied to Danny and Jackie’s lives.
  • “We wanted you guys to experience a slice of our life… these are places we walk by every day.” [66:38]

• Heartfelt Speeches and Stories

  • Heifetz’s dad’s speech: Detailed story about Danny saving a dog from freezing water (“Westchester Baywatch!”), and funny asides about Burger King runs under the pretense of friendship [70:55–73:00]
  • Standout vows: “What are you doing? I’m writing about Julio Jones and AJ Brown fitting together. What are you doing? Figuring out how many refugees are fleeing Afghanistan...” [73:16]
  • Doing the Hora (“I want to be Top Jew!”); espresso martinis; dancefloor escapades [67:45–74:10]
  • “Chair” moment with Danny and dad—touching nonverbal exchange [68:14]

• Post-Party Shenanigans

  • Drunk golf simulators and soccer shootout at Muní, D.C.'s best sports bar.
  • “He was making it almost every time. I was like, this is what it's like to play against a good athlete.” — DK on getting outclassed by a real offensive lineman [75:24]

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Other Engaging Moments

• Married Life Ring Mishaps

  • DK lost his wedding ring ~36 hours in; panic and then relief [77:00–78:53]
  • Debate on ring-wearing habits (public only vs. all the time).
  • “Let me tell you something I’ve learned, boys—I’m not taking this thing off anymore.” — DK [79:06]

• Wife Advice and “Hottest QB” Draft Tease

  • The hosts joke about a future “wife advice” episode and suggest the seven wives each rank the NFL's hottest quarterbacks, then compare to their own “male gaze” rankings [79:17].

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• NFL schedule unveiled / holiday conflicts: [01:49]–[03:41]
• Aaron Rodgers signing during the wedding: [03:57]–[11:35]
• “Don’t Get Divorced” Draft explanation: [13:44]–[16:02]
• Draft picks and debates (main event): [16:06]–[56:37]
• Wedding Recap: [65:03]–[90:33]
• “Shout!” and wedding music chat: [91:12]–[93:16]

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Original Tone and Language

Throughout, the tone is:

• Fast-paced, banter-filled, affectionate, sometimes profane.
• Honest assessments about football/life/marriage.
• Sincere, especially during wedding retrospectives, with plenty of self-deprecation and mutual ribbing.

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Summary Table: “Don’t Get Divorced” Draft Picks

(Key highlights, not every pick)

| Category | Pick | Reasoning/Context | |-------------------------------|-----------------------------------------|-----------------------------------------------------| | Holiday game to skip | Ravens @ Bengals (New Year's Eve) | “Anniversary, non-negotiable family time” | | Primetime slate to watch | Week 1: Pat-Seahawks, Niners-Rams, etc. | You’re most excited, not worn down yet | | Holiday game to watch | Bills-Chiefs (Thanksgiving night) | Must-plan dinner around this one | | Holiday game to skip | Christmas Morning Bears-Packers | Can’t ignore kids for football Christmas morning | | International game to wake up | Pats-Lions in Munich | Actually a fun matchup, Amon-Ra’s German | | International game to skip | Colts-Commanders in London | “Please, we’ve seen enough London at this point” |

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Useful for Listeners Who Haven’t Tuned In

• You’ll get an authentic look at how real football fans negotiate the demands of marriage and NFL fanaticism, with practical laughs and genuine friendship.
• Useful tips on which NFL games you “must” watch/skip and why—plus examples of husbandly sacrifice that maximize “capital” for future bargaining.
• The wedding recap is heartfelt and vivid—you’ll feel like you attended Heifetz’s big day.

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Conclusion

This is a richly entertaining, deeply relatable episode for married sports fans and anyone who juggles multiple life obligations around football. It delivers humor, practical advice, nostalgia, and real friendship—in short, “how to watch football all season, stay married, and have a hell of a time.”

Transcript

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[Danny Kelly]

Welcome to the Ringer Fantasy Football show. My name is Danny Hifers and I'm joined in person in Los Angeles by Danny Kelly and Craig Horlebeck. And today in our new studio, I have a ring on my finger. And so we are going to do today, as Craig suggested to me, the Don't Get Divorced draft. Look at that, the rings.

[Danny Hifers]

We are.

[Craig Horlebeck]

We all have the Frodo old school ring.

[Danny Kelly]

We all have the Frodo ring. We are going to do the Don't Get Divorced draft because I didn't look at anything for the NFL schedule because I was getting married that weekend and then someone tells me the Super Bowl's on Valentine's Day. And I was like, oh shit. And so Craig had this great idea. We're going to do the Don't Get Divorced draft.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yeah, it's the NFL scheduled draft, AKA the Don't Get Divorced draft, where basically we are going to build out and organize the perfect football watching guide to the 2026 season games that you can't miss and games that you maybe should miss so you don't get divorced. So we'll, we'll be doing that in a little bit.

[Danny Kelly]

Why is there Something wrong. The week of Thanksgiving having Sunday, Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Sunday, Monday.

[Craig Horlebeck]

So I would say we're doing it because I have just got married now. We're all married also. This is the most treacherous NFL season we've ever had and we have to go through it.

[Danny Hifers]

We're just testing the limits.

[Craig Horlebeck]

We're getting extremely close. Once they go to 18 games next year, it'll be even wor. But it's very. It's teetering right now on insane. But I do. I like watching football. I want to.

[Danny Kelly]

I know the fact you have to say that is Thanksgiving first of all, making Thanksgiving eva thing the same year they put an NFL game on New Year's Eve. There's a lot. Yeah, there's one again. Super bowl and Valentine's Day.

[Danny Hifers]

Craig put the schedule together for us in a nice, very easy to digest list. And as I was looking over it, I was like, this is insane.

[Craig Horlebeck]

You're like getting short of breath.

[Danny Hifers]

They're like, there's a Christmas Eve Eve game, there's a Thanksgiving Eve Eve game. There's fucking games every day of the week. Like several weeks this year. It's freaking crazy. So, yes, we're going to try not to get divorced.

[Craig Horlebeck]

At the end of the show, we'll talk about. We went to Hefitz's wedding in D.C. dK&I. It was a wonderful time. Very happy for Heifetz and Jackie. We'll get to that at the end. But maybe the biggest news we have to begin with. My beloved Aaron Rodgers has officially returned.

[Danny Hifers]

He signed to the Pittsburgh during the

[Craig Horlebeck]

ceremony during my wedding Saturday night.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, he signed during the wedding. We found out together. I have. Can I give you guys, this is not a theory. This is something in the back of my mind. I think it is not impossible that Aaron Rodgers signed during my wedding on purpose to fuck with me.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I mean, there's a non zero chance. He's a consumer of this show.

[Danny Kelly]

Well, so here's the thing.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I think he likes media.

[Danny Kelly]

I'm not saying I think that happened. I'm saying if in 10 years I find out that he did that, I wouldn't be shocked. And here's why I think I've been meaner to Aaron Rodgers than anybody in football media this year. I think that sincerely, I've been meaner to him. I've called him like basically. He's being like, basically like a loser for deciding to hold an entire team hostage. It's not like when Brett Favre did it with the packers. It was 15 years. It was like, he's been on Steelers for one year. He's going to hold the team hostage. He's not going to OTAs. What do you have going on? Make a decision or not. And I've been really mean to him. And this is like Saturday night.

[Danny Hifers]

That's not the ideal time to announce that.

[Danny Kelly]

Well, this is a man who, like, seeks motivation.

[Craig Horlebeck]

He does what he wants, but he

[Danny Kelly]

seeks motivation like firewood and they gather. Doesn't Steph Curry look up his mentions at halftime on Twitter if he isn't doing well? Like, I'm just saying, they look for the stuff.

[Danny Hifers]

Really.

[Danny Kelly]

I didn't really.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I'm confirmed.

[Danny Kelly]

Sure. All I'm saying is I kind of think a little bit that Aaron Rodgers did it during my wedding on purpose.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Just a little.

[Danny Hifers]

I like to believe that.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yeah, I, I, I forget who we were talking to at the wedding, but someone's like, oh, like Aaron Rodgers back, huh? You bummed? I'm like, as opposed to what else? Like Mason Rudolph. This is still good.

[Danny Hifers]

Craig, you looked at me. We're on the shuttle bus going over to Heifetz's wedding. Had a several different locations. So we're on the shuttle bus going over. Craig looks over at me, goes, steelers

[Craig Horlebeck]

are going to be good.

[Danny Hifers]

He was like. It took him literally 15 minutes to completely buy in.

[Craig Horlebeck]

So Rogers has been in Pittsburgh for like a month. He signed two weeks earlier than he did last year, so he a little more time with the team better, little more reps in. He was there Monday practicing with Mike McCarthy and the gang. He was getting ice cream with Pat Fryermouth. Ice cream a week before he signed.

[Danny Hifers]

Superfood.

[Craig Horlebeck]

All I will say is this. Mike McCarthy notwithstanding, the roster is better this year. Undeniably. Undeniably. The receiver core is the receiver core significantly better. The offensive line is better, and I think the defense is better. That's all I'll say. And I think Rogers had plenty of moments last year that proved he can still throw the football. I would argue that Aaron Rodgers had the single best throw of any quarterback last year, and it was him rolling out to the right and he threw it 50 yards to Pat Friarmouth.

[Danny Hifers]

And Pat Friarmouth watched the replay of

[Craig Horlebeck]

that the other day. Yeah, it was, I think, the best throw of the year. And he was 41 years old. And so, yeah, look, they'll probably win nine games, but do I think they could win 11? Yeah.

[Danny Hifers]

I love how, I just love how quickly and how frequently you switch.

[Craig Horlebeck]

To be honest, I think it's a roller coaster ride Swung too far about how bad Rogers was. Not a fucking disaster last year.

[Danny Kelly]

I don't think anyone thinks that.

[Danny Hifers]

Some people think that.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Okay.

[Danny Kelly]

I don't think most. I think most people.

[Craig Horlebeck]

People like Rogers on the Steel. What a disaster. Another year, huh? Yikes.

[Danny Hifers]

I'm like, it's better than Mason Rudolph.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Way better than your best. I don't want Malik Willis, like, come on. Sorry to Carlos, who just traded for him in Dynasty, but.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, you made the trade. He was texting me about it.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yeah, he did. Yeah. And it is his final year.

[Danny Kelly]

I think everyone's on the same page about this, which is he's honestly the Steelers without Mike Tomlin. And again, can't say enough that Aaron. Mike Tomlin dealt with everything. Antonio Brown, Le'Veon Bell, Ben Roethlisberg. Aaron Rodgers drove that man to the cliff. Can never say that enough. One year of Aaron Rodgers, Mike Tomlin's like, I'm done. And then we're like, you know what?

[Craig Horlebeck]

There's only one man who's Mike McCarthy.

[Danny Kelly]

It's like the only man who's done it before. And so it's just so funny that this is like the exact same team. It's like, Mike McCarthy. They will be over.500. They will probably make the playoffs. They will probably not win a playoff game. It'll be the same thing. And, like, Rogers will be good enough that you're not upset you got him, and he won't be quite good enough. And frankly, the offense will be limited enough that you won't be able to win a Super Bowl.

[Craig Horlebeck]

This team is in a bizarre point where, like, I really don't know what the other option is. There was no quarterback to draft this year. There was no.

[Danny Hifers]

Well, they did draft a quarterback, you know.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Other than the ones kind of rude.

[Danny Hifers]

Kind of rude of you to say that, but okay.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Drew Aller. Sure. And honestly, look, if it was Mike Tomlin's coaching staff trying to figure out Drew Aller and. And. And Will Howard, I'd much rather have McCarthy's coaching staff and Rogers rather than just Mason Rudolph and Mike Tomlin. So I think it. I think it is a better situation this year than last year.

[Danny Hifers]

I do. I think it's going to be interesting, too. This is just kind of getting into the weeds a little bit. But the offense that the Steelers ran last year, where it was very tight end, heavy.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Arthur Smith.

[Danny Hifers]

Arthur Smith was the architect of it. It was very tight end, heavy, run the ball a lot, blah, blah, blah. I do think they'll probably still continue to run the ball a lot. But the McCarthy offenses are like three receiver sets and kind of more spread out. And I think they're a little bit, maybe more in line with what Aaron Rodgers wants to be doing. So I think it's going to be fascinating to see how the offense evolves from a schematic point of view, just because I think it does probably fit what he wants to do more. Having Pittman, having Jeremy Bernard and then DK Metcalf.

[Craig Horlebeck]

The offensive line is going to be better. Yeah.

[Danny Hifers]

I think there. There is a chance that we could see this offense, like, take a step forward.

[Danny Kelly]

With the caveat that, like, I actually do think the Steelers will be okay and, like, they'll probably be better on offense. They certainly will be better on offense than they've been. And I actually do like their personnel a lot. I think Darnell Washington is like that kind of weird piece at tight end where he's an incredible blocker that's fast. That, like, is actually. Every team probably wants that. It is really just weird, though. And I almost think underrated. Rogers and McCarthy flamed out almost nine years ago, and then he was fired after a long tenure and won a Super bowl and that relationship soured. I don't know if that's. How many times in any sport has that happened where hall of Fame coach or, sorry, hall of Fame quarterback and a coach that had won a Super bowl and done like 15, almost 12 years together, got back together, then they returned like eight years later.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

In any sport.

[Craig Horlebeck]

It's like the movie It's Complicated with Alec Baldwin and Meryl Streep.

[Danny Hifers]

I was going to say it's like

[Craig Horlebeck]

they're just having an affair. They're a couple that used to be together that is now divorced, that is having an affair again.

[Danny Hifers]

Yeah, I. The other thing. So it was 2017, was last year.

[Danny Kelly]

He was. McCarthy was fired. I think 2018, the middle of the

[Craig Horlebeck]

end, and then Rogers.

[Danny Hifers]

That's crazy.

[Craig Horlebeck]

And then they drafted Jordan Love and then he went Back to back MVPs. Right?

[Danny Kelly]

Yes.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Danny Hifers]

Weird. Anyway, I think they'll be good. I do kind of agree with Craig.

[Craig Horlebeck]

What else are we going to do? Nothing.

[Danny Kelly]

But that's just. It's just weird. You're in the.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I mean, the Steelers are in a bizarre spot. Like, Everybody. It's like T.J. watt is like at that age where it's like, it's now or never. And so I'm like, I don't love that. Art Rooney's like, why would we have any season where we're bad. We want to compete every single year. At some point you have to reset. You have to. Otherwise you will be stuck in mediocrity forever. And so I understand that, like, once again, we're trying it again this year. It'll probably be a mediocre result. But then the Steelers need to reset. Like, at a certain point, they need to, like, gut the roster a little bit and figure out they won't do that and try to get a top 10 pick.

[Danny Kelly]

I'm telling you right now, I think the Bengals and the Ravens are going to make the playoffs. And actually, I kind of think the steelers will be over.500. But miss the playoffs and then you'll just see what happens. And also, we forgot to mention retire. Roger said he'd retire at the end of the season.

[Danny Hifers]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

So he's going to get his little tour. But I don't think, like, basketball. I don't think everyone's going to give him gifts before the games.

[Craig Horlebeck]

You know what? You say that every player likes Aaron Rodgers. The media doesn't. Players love him. I'll say that.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Danny Hifers]

So they tell us.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Personally, more players have talked about that they like Aaron Rodgers than any other player I know, and I don't know why they're doing that. Maybe he's venmoing all of them to say it, but he's.

[Danny Hifers]

He rules with an iron fist.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Not bad on the practice field with his teammates.

[Danny Kelly]

Can we use AI to have Craig before he rooted for Aaron Rodgers? Have a conversation with Craig now.

[Craig Horlebeck]

It's just funny, like, if Rogers wasn't like a crazy media person during COVID and all that stuff, and he was, let's say he just never did anything with the media, but his play has been exactly the same. Would we feel the same way about him? Would you feel the same way about him as you do now?

[Danny Kelly]

To be clear, he annoys me because again, he's the Jaime Lannister thing, where it's like, that's the first scene with Tywin Lannister, Jaime Lann in the tent and he's arguing with his dad. His dad's like, you care too much what people think of you. And Jamie's like, I don't care what anyone thinks of me. And Tywin's like, that's what you want

[Craig Horlebeck]

people to think of you.

[Danny Kelly]

And, like, it just becomes insufferable.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I agree.

[Danny Kelly]

But having said that, he. I still think, like, the best quarterbacking I've ever seen is Rogers in 2011. Like, he's the best. Like, look, you look at Brady and like you know the Falcon Super Bowl. But over the course of the season

[Craig Horlebeck]

Brady says that Rodgers is the best thrower of the football.

[Danny Kelly]

He is like Aaron Rodgers. Like I. You're right that I'm saying all the criticism is the frosting on the cake of he is he. He is as good as these other quarterbacks. But like Peyton Manning's great quarterback. Peyton Manning spiral kind of sucked. Like Aaron Rodgers pure throwing the football is still above Mahomes, above all these guys.

[Danny Hifers]

Like he's the Manny. He was some duck catching some strange duck.

[Danny Kelly]

Some wobblers. Like Rogers is like the when Rogers had the seasons where he would have good technique. He's the most talented throw of football of all time and he's like the most scary person to have coming back.

[Danny Hifers]

I think it's funny that he's the greatest Hail Mary thrower of all time.

[Danny Kelly]

He might.

[Danny Hifers]

He's approaching incredibly good at that.

[Danny Kelly]

He's approaching like him the same way. Derek Henry has more 200 yard games than everyone else in the last like 25 years. If he has another one this season, Rodgers will probably have about as many Hail Marys as the rest of the league combined last like since he entered the league.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Do you think 20 years from now Rogers will be underrated because he only won one Super Bowl? Maybe he's underrated now but he's surrounded by Peyton Manning who's I think more famous. Tom Brady who's obviously more famous. And then the Mahomes Josh Allen era came in and he kind of got

[Danny Hifers]

sandwiched in the middle there.

[Craig Horlebeck]

He won like kind of an unmemorable super bowl against the Steelers and what was it, 2011, 2012, whatever that was. And then that's kind of it.

[Danny Kelly]

Peyton Manning's will be more famous like this way Paul Newman's the salad dressing guy. To people like me, Peyton Manning will be the like the Monday Night Football announcer that you're like oh wait he was good.

[Craig Horlebeck]

But that's my point is that he doesn't know his name.

[Danny Kelly]

The highlight Rogers highlights are so much better.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yeah, maybe the Aaron Rodgers was a

[Danny Kelly]

problem video persist with that said get into the NFL schedule draft AKA the don't get divorced draft.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yeah. So this is how this is going to work. The three of us are going to go through and we're going to draft based on six categories. Basically recommendations for those of you who watch football at home that don't want to get divorced this NFL season and want to take something for yourself but also give back to your spouse, to your partner.

[Danny Kelly]

And it's a draft that we're filling out like a roster. There's positions here. So instead of quarterback and running back and receiver and tight end, you've got some categories.

[Danny Hifers]

Fill out a roster.

[Craig Horlebeck]

So here are the categories. There are six categories. We have the best weekend prime time slate. So it's like per week you go through, you're like at week three, what's the Thursday night game? What's the Sunday night game? What's the Monday night game? You're going to.

[Danny Hifers]

We're going to say we're not doing any date nights that week.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Correct. This is like clearing your calendar.

[Danny Kelly]

Thursday night is booked on.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yes. So we're basically going to do. You can draft two weekend slates that you want that you need to watch that are can't miss, and you're going to draft two weekend slates that you think you can miss. And maybe you take a trip that weekend with the fam.

[Danny Kelly]

Exactly. Or like on, sometimes on Monday. Like if I really want, you know, if you got to watch the Monday night game, like you handle dinner and dinner is kind of cramped, so it's cooked. And then the game starts and you're

[Craig Horlebeck]

like, wow, great job. So two primetime slates you want to watch, two you don't. We are going to be selecting two holiday games that you need to watch. Screw the family. You're going to watch this holiday game. You're going to draft two holiday games that you want to, that you can skip so you can spend time with your family. A holiday game is a single game. It's like the Thanksgiving morning game or the Christmas evening game or Thanksgiving Eve, which I suppose exists now, Thanksgiving Eve. And then the final category is international games. You're going to select one international game that you, the sick. We're talking about the morning games, the games that happen at 6:30 Pacific, 9:30 Eastern. You'll draft one international game that you need to wake up for to watch it and one international game that you can just sleep through.

[Danny Kelly]

Okay. So despite what we just said in that little explanation there, we're now recording this after the episode. We kind of screwed up the segment per usual and we didn't really understand it well. So we're actually not going to be able to like the final couple rounds. We're just not going to have it.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I, it's, it's my fault. I miscounted the amount of holiday games. I thought there were 12. There's only 10.

[Danny Kelly]

You did most of the work for the episode but then I just played the I got married card. I'm not going to help you fact check this draft. And then we spared you us counting.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

To 11. So we're just like, 1, 2, 3. I lost count. Let's start over.

[Craig Horlebeck]

So the last two rounds, not everyone's rosters will be exactly the same. But that's okay. We had a great time.

[Danny Kelly]

So without further ado, the draft. All right, let's just do it.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Before we start, I do want to give a brief overview of the 20, 26, 27 NFL season. So the season starts on a Wednesday with. It's a rematch of the Super Bowl.

[Danny Hifers]

Yeah.

[Craig Horlebeck]

And then there's.

[Danny Kelly]

That is crazy that the super bowl, like the last game in the first

[Craig Horlebeck]

game are just the Patriots, Seahawks again Wednesday night. And then the next game will be in Australia. Rams, Niners on Thursday. Yeah. Throughout the rest of the season, you have Saturday games. They invented a holiday. Thanksgiving Eve, which is the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. There will now be a game. There is a game on Christmas Eve this year. There are three games on Christmas Day. There is now a game on New Year's Eve this year. And it is all capped off by the super bowl falls on Valentine's Day slash President's Day weekend. Wow.

[Danny Kelly]

Wait, President's Day is Valentine's Day?

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yes.

[Danny Kelly]

Wait, President's day is the 15th?

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

There's no way. Serious. I've been in at my wedding. Also, I'm going to be misinformed throughout this episode. I've been in post offices winging it.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Let me check. Yes, it is. President's Day's the 15th of February this year, so. So if your partner's like, Valentine's Day, let's do a weekend away. We have Monday off.

[Danny Kelly]

Hilarious. What I learned doing weddings is that the least weddings of any weekend in the entire country is super bowl weekend.

[Danny Hifers]

I can't get anyone to come to your wedding.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, dude, you can't even really do a bachelor party. Super.

[Danny Hifers]

People get mad if you do a wedding in the fall at any point

[Danny Kelly]

in time, any football game, any college football game.

[Danny Hifers]

Saturday, now, Sunday, Absolutely.

[Danny Kelly]

Ohio State's playing Toledo.

[Craig Horlebeck]

The super bowl is not eligible to draft because it doesn't really fall under any category. However, it would be the ultimate husband move because it's President's Day weekend slash Valentine's Day. Take a trip.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, you snipe me. That was like my dark horse. Like, intrusive thought was, if it's something your wife would appreciate. We were joking. That kind of a bad game.

[Danny Hifers]

A lot of Capital for that.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Danny Hifers]

Like, husband capital. Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

If you actually get shit for watching football and your wife would appreciate it. That is the ultimate husband move. I always thought if Scottie Scheffler got the. Like was winning the Masters that year, he was like, I will leave no matter what hole I'm on. If my wife goes into labor, that would be cooler to walk off the 18th hole with the lead and, like, forfeit than actually win. Like, that would actually be cooler. Like, that's kind of what this is. This is your shot to be.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I would never do that if I was almost going to win the Masters. He's already won, though.

[Danny Kelly]

He had already won.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Okay.

[Danny Kelly]

I'm just saying.

[Craig Horlebeck]

But I do think, like, if you don't have a great super bowl watching setup, maybe your team's not in it. Maybe skip it.

[Danny Kelly]

Let's be honest, the X Patriots kind of sucked. Like, if you didn't have a dog

[Craig Horlebeck]

at the fight, you're a Jets fan. It's like the Bills are the patron. The Super Bowl. It's like, you know what? I don't need to fucking watch this.

[Danny Kelly]

All right, let's do this draft.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Okay. So dk. DK claimed before we started that he deserves first pick.

[Danny Kelly]

Because you're older.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Because he's older.

[Danny Kelly]

You said I'm the oldest.

[Danny Hifers]

I did say I'm the oldest.

[Craig Horlebeck]

You want to just do it in order by age.

[Danny Kelly]

DK Meifet easy to keep track of.

[Danny Hifers]

Okay, well, the reason I said that is because I have one that I want to get. I'm assuming none of you guys were going to pick this, but you could have picked it as one of the better holiday games you want to pick. I am eliminating it. I'm taking it as the game I'm going to skip. Oh, that is New Year's Eve.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Oh, it's a good game.

[Danny Hifers]

I would be excited to watch this. In any other scenario, it's Ravens at Bengals late in the season, week 17. It's probably going to be. The division is going to be up. This is going to have a lot of fantasy implications. I will not be watching this game because New Year's Eve is actually my anniversary. Both relationship anniversary and wedding anniversary. Every year we make a big deal out of New Year's Eve. We go out.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Sounds like it's against your will. Every year we make a big deal about it.

[Danny Kelly]

Absolutely not.

[Danny Hifers]

I picked this first. I am setting this aside. I won't be watching this game live. It looks like a great game, but absolutely not. I'm not going to Be sitting around at home watching an NFL game on New Year's Eve. I'm going to be out at dinner with my wife doing all the revelry of New Year's Eve.

[Craig Horlebeck]

It is a Thursday night this year. Thanks.

[Danny Kelly]

New Year's Eve, this was not my number one pick, but I completely agree, Dick. I think New Year's Eve is the worst day for football the entire year. Like, the difference to me, and it just is way the. It's actually the way laws are written. And, like, the days of the week fall, they can't move them. But the difference to me, like, when college football, it used to be the bowl games, now it's the semifinals or whatever. The difference between the college football semifinals being on New Year's Eve versus New Year's Day is always like, the difference between me having the best day of the year to watch, which is I'm hungover. New Year's Day, yeah, New Year's Day is great.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Football day.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, it's the best. New Year's Eve is, like, disaster because it's like New Year's Eve is an overrated holiday. But as you get older, you want to be home by 11. But then if you're going to go to a party, you go to someone else's party.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I disagree with the both of you.

[Danny Kelly]

Commandeer the tv, though. But I want to watch this game, but I can't go to someone else's place if they don't want the game on. I can't be like, hey, my friend Emma, who does our New Year's Eve party, like, hey, Emma, can we put on this Ravens Bengals game on Amazon Prime? Can you log into prime video for me right now? I can't do that to them. And so I'd rather sacrifice and be like, hey, I'm in the moment. We're gonna do this. And, like, it's a good game. I agree. I hate New Year's Eve is a terrible day for football.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I was initially appalled just because in my, like, my instinct is to dislike when they throw a game on a holiday that didn't previously have football. However, I had this game in the neutral category. I don't feel strongly about, because New Year's Eve is a classic. Like, wherever you are. Like, the game can be on in the background, and it's not a huge disturbance. Like, whether you're at a bar, whether you're at a party. Like, people will throw the football game on.

[Danny Kelly]

You can check it on, you can throw it on. And that's fair. But here's the difference. And this is actually more profound for New Year's Eve maybe than any other holiday except probably Christmas. The time difference, five o' clock on New Year's Eve. You're not at anyone's house on New Year's Eve. You're getting ready or doing whatever. East coast, that's 8, 15, New Year's Eve. That is when you show up to New Year's Eve party. It is like 8 o'. Clock.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Who's not gonna wanna throw the game on?

[Danny Kelly]

You can, but like, it's like, then you're the.

[Craig Horlebeck]

It'll be done before the ball drops. And it's like a great background thing. Oh, football's on. Yeah, that's like that homey feel. Put it on. It feels like, you know, it's American.

[Danny Kelly]

But the same thing is like a Super bowl where it's like, oh, the party's actually a terrible place to watch

[Danny Hifers]

a football game, I think, for this purpose.

[Craig Horlebeck]

But the purpose of the party is not to watch the game, which is different. The Super Bowl. The purpose of the party is to watch the game, which is why it sucks.

[Danny Hifers]

Can we lay some.

[Craig Horlebeck]

It's background. It's great.

[Danny Hifers]

We need to lay a little bit of ground rules here, I feel like. Because if you're saying the game can be on in the background kind of watching, that changes the entire structure of this. Of this.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I think what I'm saying is, my

[Danny Hifers]

point is I'm not going to sit at home and say, skippy, we can't go to anything. We can't go to dinner because I got to watch this fucking by the

[Craig Horlebeck]

spirit of the game.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, you're getting, you're getting like, I will ignore this because I love you.

[Craig Horlebeck]

You're right.

[Danny Hifers]

Yes. I'm going to watch this.

[Danny Kelly]

You're more important to me than this game. And New Year's Eve is like, yeah, okay.

[Craig Horlebeck]

So that's your first pick. Yeah, my first pick. I think this is an easy.

[Danny Kelly]

Why do you get to go next?

[Craig Horlebeck]

I thought we were doing.

[Danny Kelly]

I know, but I realized take. And I got mad you agreed to it. Fuck.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I'm taking week one opening slate prime time. I'm not missing.

[Danny Hifers]

It's real good.

[Craig Horlebeck]

It's bad pick Wednesday night. Wednesday night is Pat Seahawks, Thursday, Niners, Rams in Australia. Sunday night is Cowboys, Giants. Monday night is Broncos, Chiefs. Like I out of probably every primetime slate, the first week is the one I want to miss the least.

[Danny Hifers]

That was my number one choice too, on primetime matchups especially.

[Craig Horlebeck]

And I'm just not missing week one.

[Danny Hifers]

It's great because we're not. You're not worn down from a full season every freaking Thursday, every Sunday.

[Craig Horlebeck]

And it's a lot. Wednesday, Thursday, Sunday, Monday. But. But that's why I'm taking it first.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, that's a good take. It's a good week. One really is. Like you're the kid in a candy store. And it's an unusually good week.

[Craig Horlebeck]

It's the first week of fantasy.

[Danny Kelly]

You're getting.

[Craig Horlebeck]

The group chats are going crazy. Like, if you're gone that weekend, you feel like you're missing out on the world.

[Danny Hifers]

Dude, Thursday, there's going to be Wednesday and Thursday games with a lot of. And there's going to be a lot of high profile fantasy people. We got pat, Seahawks, huge 49ers, Rams, Wednesday, Thursday, there's going to be some incredible scores in fantasy Week one heading into, like, Friday.

[Craig Horlebeck]

It's great.

[Danny Kelly]

It's. It's a really good pick. And I also want to take one moment as if Mike Vrabel's not had a bad enough off season. The Patriots playing the Seahawks in week one is just like, like, literally, as you're the showcase of the season. What a nightmare. Like, hey, remember this team that kicked the shit out of you? Like, you were the first game of

[Danny Hifers]

the season in Seattle?

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, my God.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Has there ever been a more like, need to win week one game than Mike Vrabel?

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, my God. What if they. What if they get their ass kicked in again? Like, oh, my God. And then also the signs people are going to bring to the game. My God, the 12th man's about to go hard. The 12. The sign. Like, dude, the sign potential.

[Danny Hifers]

Think about the TV crew, what kind of, like, directives they're going to have here in terms of filming people in the crowd. I wonder what they'll. Yeah, because there's going to be some bad signs.

[Danny Kelly]

Well, you can hear the announcers like it now. Like, Mike Vrabel had a tough off season. Like, it's just. It's going to be like 30 to 6 again.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I feel like there will be zero mention of that. Right? You can't.

[Danny Kelly]

I don't know.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I don't even think, though Tariko would say he had a tough off season. I don't think you can even do that. All right, Ivan, you're up.

[Danny Kelly]

Those are two good picks. I played it safe, I think, because it fell to me. I don't know if this makes sense. I don't. This makes sense for the scarcity of the game, but I'm gonna take as the my. What is the category called the holiday game that you have to watch? Fuck youk Family. Okay, I'm taking Bill's Chiefs Thursday night.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Thanksgiving. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

The Thanksgiving night game. Bill's Chiefs. You could tell. And I do think this was the theme when I pulled up the schedule. Cause I was pretty late. I did it after my wedding and so I was kind of Sunday night. I was scrolling through, I was like, all right, what did they do here? And I was like, wow, they really went all out. I remember when Saints Falcons was like the Thursday night game on Thanksgiving. And the overall theme seems to be they gave Amazon better games throughout. And they really made the holiday games good. And you can tell that they have a TV contract coming up and they want like these tentpole games that they want to establish and break all the records so they can get big money going in with these new negotiations. Because like Bill's Chiefs is just. They are literally like. That's the break glass in case of emergency. Josh, Allen, Mahomes and even Mahomes come with the acl. I don't care. Like that is like a. The rare. We actually have to schedule our dinner around this game.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Like, I feel like my Thanksgiving week because we're Giants fans in part, we probably just usually eat during the Cowboys game because fuck em and like we watch the night one. But like you actually have to wrap up dinner before Bill's Chiefs ends.

[Danny Hifers]

I think it's. Yeah, it's perfect because on Thanksgiving, at least the way that we. My family has done it in the past is like by the time, you know, five o' clock Pacific rolls around, everybody's in a food coma.

[Craig Horlebeck]

It's a great east coast pit.

[Danny Hifers]

You're like hanging out.

[Craig Horlebeck]

It's gonna be done by then. Exactly. Yeah.

[Danny Hifers]

And it's like at that point, the family time is kind of over. Everyone's just vegging out.

[Danny Kelly]

Everyone needs like a little bit of their own space.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yeah.

[Danny Hifers]

And this is like obviously a great game. And week 12. The other thing that's important here is by that time Mahomes should be fully operational, you know, because early on in the season. There's some good Chiefs primetime games early in the season. But you have to keep in mind, like he might not be number one. He might not even be playing. He'll be playing. He probably will be playing.

[Danny Kelly]

I think. I think the fact that the game is golf swing.

[Craig Horlebeck]

He's playing.

[Danny Kelly]

I think they gave him Monday Night Football. So of week one. So I think that means he's playing. When I see the packers don't have they play The Cowboys Week 6 on Sunday football, I'm like, maybe Michael Parsons doesn't play to the beginning of the season. Like, the fact that, you know, I actually think that means something.

[Danny Hifers]

But I think the schedule makers are like talking to the injury people on a team or whatever about how far along they are.

[Danny Kelly]

And you're like, oh, yeah, right. This is a business where they have to sell these games for billions of dollars. Yeah.

[Craig Horlebeck]

All right, dk.

[Danny Kelly]

Okay. Yeah. You're up, dk. All right.

[Danny Hifers]

Well, I'm going to go with a must watch holiday game as well. This is Christmas Day. Which one, Seahawks or Rams? At Seahawks.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I wanted that.

[Danny Kelly]

That's.

[Danny Hifers]

This is going to be.

[Craig Horlebeck]

That's Christmas night.

[Danny Hifers]

Yeah. And again, same deal as what I just said with the Thanksgiving thing. It's like later in the evening, the family time is kind of in the books. You get the hay in the barn. At that point you can just kind of go. And everyone's sitting around and watching the games. This is going to be a huge game. Very likely. Rams against Seahawks late in the season.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Infamous Zach Charbonnet.

[Danny Hifers]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Pick up the ball.

[Craig Horlebeck]

This is the first time these two teams play this season. They play again and we back 16 and 18. Yeah. So this is the first ridiculous game between these two teams.

[Danny Hifers]

Yeah.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Fuck.

[Danny Kelly]

This is a good one. What do you guys do on Christmas after dinner? Also, what time do you eat dinner on Christmas day?

[Danny Hifers]

It's usually like three.

[Danny Kelly]

It's like a lunch dinner thing. So what do you guys do Christmas night?

[Craig Horlebeck]

I was going to write this down. I think Christmas night is secretly not that fun.

[Danny Kelly]

That's what, that's what I was wondering.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I was like, yeah, it's kind of depressing. And it's like, I thank God for New Year's Eve.

[Danny Kelly]

I feel like Christmas is over.

[Craig Horlebeck]

If it wasn't New Year's, Christmas night would be like really depressing.

[Danny Kelly]

64 days till next Christmas, you do.

[Craig Horlebeck]

You get like the end of your holiday scary?

[Danny Hifers]

Yeah, totally.

[Craig Horlebeck]

But thank God you're like, oh, at least a week later we got New Year's. I'll panic then, you know. But Christmas night, you're kind of just like sitting there, you have the presents, hangover.

[Danny Kelly]

So that's kind of where I'm going. Also, you've watched a bunch of Christmas movies, probably in the run up, but you might be sick of them by now. Maybe you watch Christmas movies at night. But to your point, dk, of all the real estate, the NFL has taken. I'm Jewish and maybe I don't care, but I like Christmas and I celebrate Christmas. It's fine. I actually think the Christmas night. No, I'm saying, but the Christmas night. Of all the real estate is the one I'm least offended by. I actually find Christmas Eve way more offensive for a football game than Christmas night. Christmas night makes a lot of sense.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Oh, I agree.

[Danny Kelly]

Christmas meat. Christmas Eve feels like un American. Inhuman to watch a football game.

[Craig Horlebeck]

The family's getting together, gathering, preparing for Christmas morning. The kids are excited. It's like, hold on, honey.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Saints, packers is on it.

[Danny Kelly]

Just of all the holidays, I think that's like the worst one. For the record, I can't. It's gonna be seven to six. It's a good pick.

[Craig Horlebeck]

That's a great pick. I had that fourth on my big board. Okay. I'm also going to be selecting a holiday game to skip to spend time with your family Christmas morning.

[Danny Kelly]

Okay. This is the biggest time change thing.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yes.

[Danny Kelly]

Because Bears, packers, east coast. Yes.

[Craig Horlebeck]

It's different, I suppose.

[Danny Kelly]

Bears, Packers. Noon is like kind of perfect because you transition. You're done with gifts, you're done with breakfast, depending what time. And like, you're into something now. Some people you have to go and do. Maybe you're driving to someone else's house, it depends. But Bears, Packers, I mean, that's an amazing game. Those are two of the best games all season. Non Rams, Seahawks, division. But 9am like, you can't.

[Craig Horlebeck]

You can't do it.

[Danny Kelly]

You cannot come on Christmas morning.

[Craig Horlebeck]

That's Christmas morning. If you have children.

[Danny Hifers]

Everyone's sitting around opening presents, dude, you're

[Danny Kelly]

setting your fucking lineup and you're like, oh, my God. Wait, what's going on?

[Danny Hifers]

Who's up? Oh, that looks great. Oh, that's cool.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Colson Loveland drops a pass. You're cursing yourself under your breath.

[Danny Kelly]

Your son is like opening his magna tiles. And it's like the most magical moment of your child time as a father. And you're like, do I play Christian Watson? What's his hamstring with? Do I play him?

[Craig Horlebeck]

You got to skip it. Packers, Bears play in week five. Watch it then if you're at the in laws, you have children. Like, I'm sorry, you're giving it up. You can watch two more games that day.

[Danny Kelly]

That's, that's the right. Especially you guys being on west coast time.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Just no way.

[Danny Kelly]

Like, like you also.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I'm also against it morally. I don't think there should be Christmas morning.

[Danny Kelly]

Like Christmas morning is tough. I, I, Christmas night's perfect. It's also a good game, which is the worst part.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I know.

[Danny Kelly]

Like, it's not background fodder. It's like Packers, Bears could be for, like, the division because it used to

[Craig Horlebeck]

be like, you know, Thursday games was. That was always just like Saints, Jags and you could just skip it.

[Danny Hifers]

They would put themselves.

[Craig Horlebeck]

And now the NFL is like, why would we do that? And we could just take a great game that we would have aired at 1:15 and we'll just put it on Thursday.

[Danny Kelly]

So I'm going to, on that note, I'm going to take game to skip. I'm taking Christmas Eve as the game to skip.

[Danny Hifers]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Because I just really. Christmas Eve, like, sure. Do you want it on the background? But I'm like, I actually, Chris, I love Christmas Eve and I just, I can't.

[Danny Hifers]

I think that has to be sacrificed if it's like, you'll get it, like, now that you're a married man. I guess, like, it was probably the same way even before you guys were married. But, like, now you're splitting time between two families. Yes, on my Christmas Eve. Traditionally, we've always opened presents on Christmas Eve, so it's like the exact same thing.

[Craig Horlebeck]

People do that.

[Danny Hifers]

And now it's especially now because Calvin gets two Christmases, essentially. So Christmas Eve with my family, Christmas Day with Skippy's family. He opens presents both days. But the special night is Christmas Eve. I'm not sitting around watching. What is it? Texans Eagles. This was really high on my list. Texans Eagles too, also.

[Craig Horlebeck]

That game might suck, but keep J

[Danny Hifers]

Stroud against the Eagles.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Come on.

[Danny Kelly]

That's like World War I hurts against

[Danny Hifers]

the Texans, it's gonna be seven to six.

[Danny Kelly]

It's trench warfare. It's like you're fighting for an hour to get, like, an inch.

[Danny Hifers]

Good teams. I don't think that will be a fun game. And it's happening at the worst possible time.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Moral boycott again.

[Danny Kelly]

I, I, I don't want them to think that works. I'd rather all these other ones take the.

[Danny Hifers]

We're not going to give them that.

[Danny Kelly]

That.

[Danny Hifers]

Wait, is that like a Thursday? Yeah, that's a Thursday night.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Thursday.

[Danny Hifers]

So that's why they're doing it.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yes. They got lucky because I know they do. Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve are Thursday. So they're like, what?

[Danny Kelly]

No, it's like, give them an inch, they'll take a mile. It's like, if they think it works, they're gonna. I, I, I actually Want those numbers to suck. I don't want football Christmas ev.

[Danny Hifers]

Well, shit, that was going to be my next pick, so I'll go with.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Because he just took Christmas Eve.

[Danny Hifers]

Yes.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

I'm just attacking the holidays right now.

[Danny Hifers]

That's my strength. I think there's one international game that I've kind of circled, so I'm going to take that one.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Oh, that you want to watch? You want to. I want to wake up.

[Danny Hifers]

Week 10, November 15th.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Is this the Lions game?

[Danny Hifers]

The Patriots against the Lions in Munich. I don't know. It just sounds a lot of fun. First of all, two really fun teams. You got the. You know, the Patriots coming off of a great season. I'd still think their offense has a chance to make a big jump this season.

[Danny Kelly]

And if they have A.J.

[Danny Hifers]

brown, they have A.J. brown. Way more fun as hell. I think the Lions are always one of the most fun, one of the most aesthetically pleasing teams in the NFL.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Mike trying to get as far away from America as he possibly can.

[Danny Kelly]

And the Germany game's fun because Amanra St. Brown's the mascot of it. And he just speaks, like, fluent German on tv, but also to the crowd.

[Danny Hifers]

His mom. I think his mom is German.

[Danny Kelly]

His mom is German. So he speaks like. Like perfect German. And so he always addresses the crowd, I think, after the game, like, pretty lengthy. It's actually pretty cool to watch.

[Danny Hifers]

So I think this, to me, that is the best game on the. On the prime. On the international slate.

[Craig Horlebeck]

It's smart to go after that. It's lower down on my board. Just because international games in general, I'm like, yeah, whatever.

[Danny Kelly]

I had it as a reach, but it's a.

[Craig Horlebeck]

It's a reach, but it is the best one by far.

[Danny Hifers]

Right.

[Danny Kelly]

Real. Oh, wow.

[Danny Hifers]

That's why I went with it. Yeah.

[Craig Horlebeck]

There's one other that I'm interested in, but I think it's like taking a

[Danny Hifers]

tight end early in your draft. Yeah.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

It's like, you know, I mean, great pick. I wouldn't have done that.

[Craig Horlebeck]

No shot.

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[Danny Kelly]

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[Craig Horlebeck]

All right, my next game. I will be selecting another holiday game to skip, and it's the Black Friday game. Oh, fuck the Black Friday game. What the fuck? I barely know it's on. Like, I'm like, in this hangover of Thanksgiving and some. And I'm like, what do you want to do? Should we go golf? I'm like, with my. Should we go on a walk? And it's like, oh, there's a football game on at noon on Amazon on a Friday. But, like, it's so fudge.

[Danny Kelly]

And so to me, I love the Black Friday.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I hate it.

[Danny Hifers]

You understand where I. Steelers are playing.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I don't give a fuck. Steelers, Broncos. I'm like, I'm not your team. Don't want it.

[Danny Kelly]

What do you guys do on Black Friday?

[Craig Horlebeck]

To me, I want to, like, enjoy not working, being with my family, not having a, like, Thanksgiving. We got to cook the dinner. Friday's the day where you can actually fudgeing. Do something fun.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, I want to sit. So I see.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I don't want to settle. Do you sit all day for Thanksgiving? Watch football all day for Thanksgiving? I want to, like, go play golf. Go on a walk.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, this is where the location difference comes out. It's like 30, 40 degrees. Yeah. I would also like to go play golf on Black Friday. You.

[Danny Hifers]

He's like, maybe I should fly down. Don't go there or something.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, my God, that sounds great.

[Danny Hifers]

That is actually very true because I. I was seeing the same thing. High. Fitz is thinking. I'm like, it's cold and. And dark and dreary. Like on Black Friday. A lovely, crisp Black Friday in Washington is black. It's like, freaking dark and cloudy and Black Friday.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I'm rotting away on that Friday. I'm just like, once again, it's like,

[Danny Hifers]

I gotta put on some shorts and

[Craig Horlebeck]

get out of the worst time. It's like, noon. It's like, well, then I have no morning and I have no afternoon because the NFL just fucking sucks up the whole middle of it. I think the game's an abomination really summon such like Amazon commercial corporate crap. You know, of course Amazon is a Black Friday game, so I buy more toilet paper.

[Danny Kelly]

In all seriousness, I do think and I could.

[Danny Hifers]

Craig, you can just order toilet paper from the game.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I know. How cool is that?

[Danny Kelly]

Exactly.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I can go on fanatics.com and get an Aaron Rodgers jersey while watching the game.

[Danny Kelly]

I do think Amazon has way better Thursday night games than ever. Specifically the back end stretch because it makes sense they want you to buy Christmas gifts on Amazon. And so this back half of Thursday football up till Christmas is like really good games. Oh right, yeah, right. They're Amazon. They have different preferences than like Netflix. They.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Let's also keep in mind that, that this will now be the the third night or the third day in three straight days that there will be an NFL game on. You have Thanksgiving eve. So on that Thanksgiving and then, and then finally your poor wife is like,

[Danny Kelly]

what can we do Some days on that note, I think it's a great football experience. I was pleasantly surprised at how much I like the Black Friday games and how much it fit into my life. With that said, my next pick I'm going to take the other game to skip for holiday is Thanksgiving Eve. Packers, Rams. I'm taking that. I actually think it's a good matchup and they put it pretty good match.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Doesn't bother me. I mean I hate it. Once again, moral boycott. But I'm like Thanksgiving. It's like Thanksgiving because you know why people are coming in, you're not doing it depends.

[Danny Kelly]

But like I feel like, I mean there's a lot of names for it. I think when you're younger it's like, you know, drunks giving or like whatever. Like. But like I do think the Wednesday night before Thanksgiving and everyone's making fun of that's not a thing. And like it's not called Thanksgiving Eve, but it is a thing. Like your friends are in town, you get to see people and like there is an energy that Wednesday night before Thanksgiving has. And like it's just fun to people are back in town. Like it's a very fun vibe. I feel like when I was growing up, like you end up at people's different houses, you see their families like you, you see your friends, parents, whatever. It's a good vibe. And the idea that you might like stay home and like we'll just watch a football and like that's like, becomes like a stagnant thing now for a few hours that, like, I don't know. There's something still very special about that. Wednesday night for Thanksgiving, and I think a football game, Black Friday, I'm like, dude, everyone's full. No one's to leave. Like, you're carved out. Wednesday night is like a special thing. And to me, it's like Thanksgiving Eve, Christmas Eve. I'm like, I want that energy to be pure.

[Craig Horlebeck]

It's a fair point. I think for some reason, I have more of a problem with midday games where I'm like, I can't. I feel like I'm being held hostage by.

[Danny Kelly]

Cause you could go fucking golf at noon if it's at, like, November, the

[Craig Horlebeck]

Thanksgiving, you game being at least at night. I'm like, well, I'll be in the house anyway. But I. But I do agree you make a good point. Like, one, if you're hosting Thanksgiving, oh, you can't watch this game also because

[Danny Kelly]

you're supposed to be helping.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yes.

[Danny Kelly]

And you have, like, a special piece of.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yes.

[Danny Kelly]

If everyone else is cooking and you're like, oh, I'm gonna. I'm gonna sit on the couch at ahead of. You know, I'm sitting on the couch all day tomorrow while you cook. I'm gonna, like, you have to do something.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yeah. You can't pre game watching three games on Thanksgiving by watching another game on Thanksgiving Eve. Yeah, I agree. It's not a bad pick. I do agree. It's messy.

[Danny Kelly]

You have to do the work coming into Thanksgiving. Okay, so, dk, you're up.

[Craig Horlebeck]

We're halfway through. All right. I want to.

[Danny Hifers]

I want to pick it. I want to, I want to. We're being negative right now, so I'm going to. I want to pick something where we're excited. I was looking at the primetime slates. It's hard to decide because I don't think there's any perfect prime time slate other than maybe week one is pretty good. I was circling. I'm going to take week seven of the prime time slate. Thursday Night football. Patriots at Bears. I think there's a ton of great storylines there. Drake maybe versus Caleb Williams. Two teams on, you know. Well, I guess the Patriots aren't really ascending.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Poor Vrabel, man. Frable's getting killed today. Fable's all over the place.

[Danny Hifers]

Yeah. When are they. Yeah, it's going to be bad, but. So Patriots, Bears, Thursday night Football, Sunday night Football, Chief. Seahawks. That'll be a lot of fun. Obviously, for me, it's extra special.

[Danny Kelly]

You're going to get to see Mahomes get destroyed by the Seahawks defense.

[Danny Hifers]

Amazing. And then Monday Night Football, longtime rivalry. You know, Cowboys, Eagles. I don't. I'm not like, as excited about that game.

[Danny Kelly]

Do you guys care on the east coast or the west coast about Cowboys, Eagles?

[Craig Horlebeck]

I think NSC east games are the most aesthetically pleasing. They feel the most like football.

[Danny Hifers]

You can feel it. Yeah. You can feel the rivalry.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I love it. I love.

[Danny Hifers]

You can tell how much the fans hate each other.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yeah.

[Danny Hifers]

It's like as a third party, someone who doesn't have a, you know, a dog in the fight in terms of like that rivalry. I always do enjoy the banter between Eagles and Cowboys fans, Eagles and Giants fans.

[Craig Horlebeck]

It's the most famous division and I think that it is. It is the division where your wife could walk in and be like. And be most likely to sit down and be like, oh, Cowboys, Eagles, Giants. Okay, Cowboys, Eagles. That sounds fun.

[Danny Hifers]

Right? Right.

[Craig Horlebeck]

It's just like classic football.

[Danny Hifers]

And it's in Philly. I just love the Philly vibes you got.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Like, you love Big Don vibes.

[Danny Hifers]

Well, I mean, I think they're funny.

[Danny Kelly]

All the fan bases are uniquely easy to hate.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Like you can like or hate the people from those places. Cowboys fans. Yeah.

[Danny Hifers]

So this is going to be week seven. October in Philly is not gonna be that crazy.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I wanted to ask the East Coaster here. Hi, Fitz. So week seven, it's the last weekend before daylight savings and we're kind of entering like last nice weather weekend in East Coast. Right. Late October.

[Danny Kelly]

Well, I, I don't think of it that way. I think of it as. That's probably like Hallow weekend. But also it's like, that's Sunday nights.

[Craig Horlebeck]

You know, Halloween's the next one. Week eight.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, yeah. 26. Oh, right.

[Danny Hifers]

Sorry.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I've also never called it Halloween.

[Danny Hifers]

I've never.

[Danny Kelly]

Do it again.

[Danny Hifers]

Okay, you did it.

[Craig Horlebeck]

It's on tape.

[Danny Kelly]

Well, you did. There you go.

[Craig Horlebeck]

He put it in my brain.

[Danny Kelly]

Hell of weekend Thanksgiving Eve.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I tentatively had it down as a great football weekend, but I was like, ah, last weekend before daylight savings. Still good weather.

[Danny Kelly]

You know, when that is, I feel like daylight savings is always. I always learn about it one day before it happens and then I forget and I wake up and my phone's different. I'm like, I've never planned ahead for daylight savings.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Danny Hifers]

The.

[Danny Kelly]

That is that. I do think those. The Caleb May. The Caleb Williams Drake May Thursday night football game into the weekend. Weekend's really good.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Okay, I'm up. I'm going to take. I'm going to. I'm going to do another primetime weekend that I don't want to miss. And I'm going to do. This might be controversial. I'm going to do week 15, which is the week before Christmas.

[Danny Hifers]

Oh, interesting.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Okay. December 17th to the 21st. You have Thursday Night Football is Niners, Chargers.

[Danny Kelly]

That's Jim Harbaugh versus the Niners.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yes. Fantastic game you have Saturday night. There's a Saturday night game.

[Danny Hifers]

Think about that. I like that. Yeah.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Saturday night Bears, Bills, Sunday night Lions, Vikings, Monday night Patriots, Chiefs. I think this is like one last hang with the Pals for the end of the year. And because you have a Saturday game where it's like a great night game, it's like, oh, shit, Bears Bill. Saturday night. Guys are friends are going to be one. It's like, this is. This is the last hurrah before you pack it in for the end of the year. Also, I should point out that same weekend, you're basically not going to be home all weekend, because that Same Weekend Dune 3 and Avengers Doomsday comes out. So, like that. You need to reserve that weekend for the Pals. That's.

[Danny Kelly]

That's a good. That's good. Which would you rather see? I feel like I'm way more excited for Doom than Dooms. I still don't. I totally understand how Robert Downey's coming back, but, like, I'm not gonna. I've decided I'm not getting it.

[Danny Hifers]

Just don't think about it.

[Danny Kelly]

I liked Avengers. I like the Avengers.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I like the Avengers movies, too. But I just. What the Avengers did well was they spent 12 years building up this massive storyline with all these characters culminating in one final moment.

[Danny Kelly]

And then he's like.

[Craig Horlebeck]

And then they just kind of took six years off. None of the movies worked. And they're like, ah, but there's another Avengers.

[Danny Kelly]

I'm like, yeah, I don't know. I think this is a good thing. And this reminds me. And one of the reasons I haven't taken a ton of.

[Craig Horlebeck]

It's also the first round of the fantasy playoffs this weekend.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, that's a good point. Oh, I. I'm spoiling my strategy a little bit here, but I think one of the reasons I'm not doing a bunch of, like, my favorite primetime games, when I was doing this and I was going through all the games, my main thought was the quarterbacking in the league right now is really good.

[Danny Hifers]

There's some really good time. Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

So like, at the end of the day, for better or for worse, you are more interested in players and quarterbacks and people than like, necessarily great teams. And like, that is how they schedule. Primetime's reason, Bill's Chiefs. It's really, it's Mahomes versus Josh Allen is Thanksgiving night. Right. But as I was going through, I'm so Mahomes off the acl, Matt Stafford off this Rams season. Like, even just seeing a CG Stroud response, Dak. But like, also like Caleb Williams, Drake May Kyler in Minnesota. Like, there are so many quarterbacks. Jaden Daniels coming back and I'm like Jackson Dart with Jim Harbaugh. There are so many more quarterbacks I'm interested to see this season than I can ever remember. Like, it's. It's a very cool year.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yeah, I agree. It's a good point.

[Danny Kelly]

So the next pick here, I'm going to take the primetime game. Primetime weekend is Skip.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Okay.

[Danny Kelly]

This is easy.

[Danny Hifers]

Damn.

[Danny Kelly]

I'm going to do week four.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Damn it.

[Danny Kelly]

I'm skipping. So week four, I'm skipping. It is the. I actually think it's the only bad one. And it's Thursday Night Football.

[Danny Hifers]

It's pretty tough.

[Danny Kelly]

It's the Steelers, Browns are in Thursday Night Football primetime. It's the only time the Cleveland's in primetime all season. I'm kind of amazed they even got one.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yeah, look, I have this in red for my dock.

[Danny Hifers]

Like the.

[Danny Kelly]

I mean, there's five teams, I think that did or a few teams that didn't get any prime time games. It's like, you know, jets, obviously, Dolphins, Titans, Cardinals, Raiders, surprisingly. But then the Browns, Steelers, Browns, Sunday Football's Lions, Panthers, which is I, you know, it's a B. It's a B. And then Monday Night Football's Falcon Saints, which is also like that one is. That's that this is especially for East Coast. This is, as Bill would call it, pumpkin picking. Or this is your last farmer's market of the year. It's October 1st.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Weather's great across the country.

[Danny Kelly]

Depending when you want to get your pumpkins. If it's fun, you can start to do that. You can go to the farmer's market Sunday morning. I think that that is like, I think that's a really good weekend to do all that.

[Craig Horlebeck]

It's a great one. It's like you've done three straight back to back to back on the couch. Give one back.

[Danny Kelly]

This is your performative Thursday Night Football dinner reservation where you're skipping Thursday Night Football. Take her out to a really nice dinner on Thursday. Cause you're sandwiched between like really good Thursday night games all around and you're like, that's your sacrifice.

[Danny Hifers]

Stole my pick.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, I'm really proud of that one. That was a really good. That was Arville Reeves fall into the Giants.

[Danny Hifers]

I think I'm gonna just. I'm gonna go with week 13 for the primetime slate that I'm excited about. Oh, it's kind of. It might not have been super high on your guys list, but I was just looking at it and I think it's just a lot of fun. Thursday Night Football, it's Chiefs at Rams. I feel like that could be a

[Danny Kelly]

really good game also, anytime. You get to watch all the highlights from that 20.

[Craig Horlebeck]

This is December 3rd to 7th. Yes.

[Danny Hifers]

Week 13, early December Sunday Night Football. Texans, Steelers. That game doesn't have like sex appeal, but it should be two.

[Craig Horlebeck]

You didn't have fun in the playoff game this year?

[Danny Hifers]

No.

[Danny Kelly]

What's the over under on fun?

[Danny Hifers]

Remind me what happened in that game.

[Craig Horlebeck]

It was. Well, I will say Stroud defecated on himself for most of the game. And I believe the score was seven to six to start the fourth round.

[Danny Kelly]

And it was fumb. He also fumbled like four times in the first half. Yeah, it was a mess.

[Craig Horlebeck]

And then. And then. And I believe the last throw of the year was Roger throwing a pick.

[Danny Kelly]

It was Rex Grossman esque. He's CG strapped in the playoffs like it was. If you hadn't had a good rookie year, we'd be like, what is wrong with this person?

[Craig Horlebeck]

You could.

[Danny Hifers]

You could. If you're a Rogers hater though, you could look at this as a fun time to see him get absolutely clobbered.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Let's hope he's still playing a lot

[Danny Hifers]

of times the Texans defense and I'm a Seahawks fan, so saying this I feel like carries weight like they might be the best defense by a mile this year. They're going to be amazing.

[Danny Kelly]

I really do think because the other thing and we can go over at some point like the way the schedule impacts how you think about the season. And Warren Sharp does a lot of good work on schedule strength. I really do think it is like Texans Seahawks are the best two defenses and the only thing that will get in that way is injuries. And injuries like the Texans are more vulnerable to it because they rely on more the individual people than a system. But like the Texans and Seahawks, I do think will each make the their respective conference championships unless someone gets hurt because they're unbelievable. But C.J. stroud is more. He's definitely, like, the biggest Delta Swing player in the league this season.

[Danny Hifers]

Yeah. And then Monday Night Football's Cowboys, Seahawks, which, again, I'm, you know, biased on that, but I think that feels like a fun game. The Cowboys are always really fun to watch. You got George Pickens, you got CD Lamb, Dak Prescott. So I just think there's a lot of fun storylines with that. Seahawks and Cowboys actually have some pretty good games over the years going way back. So, yeah, just like that slate, the Cowboys, Steelers one. Or, sorry, the Texan Steelers one. Kind of like makes you fizzle a little bit, but, yeah, it can be a lot of fun.

[Danny Kelly]

All right, Craig, you're up.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I'm going to go with a primetime slate that you can miss is week eight. I think it's another mediocre weekend. It's. This is Halloween weekend. You have Thursday Night Football.

[Danny Hifers]

You mean Hallow Weekend.

[Craig Horlebeck]

No, I don't. You have Thursday Night Football. Panthers, Packers. You have poor Panthers. I feel like anytime the Panthers pop up, they still have the. It's like they just have, like. The Panthers brand is still not strong enough.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, they actually played the Rams really well.

[Danny Hifers]

They went to the fucking playoffs.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Amazing game. Yeah, they almost beat the Rams twice Thursday night. Panthers, Packers. Sunday night.

[Danny Kelly]

They did beat the Rams the first time. The Panthers fans are gonna be bad.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I said, yeah, they almost beat them twice.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, yeah. Okay, that's fair.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I see what you mean. Yeah, Sunday night is Eagles Commanders. Monday night is Bears, Seahawks. But I think it's a solid slate. But this is Halloween weekend. Also. You'll have the. You just finished the World Series. You were probably watching that all last week. Go out and have fun with your. With your. With your spouse, your family, your friends.

[Danny Hifers]

Right.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Dress up. You know what I mean? Yeah, you don't need to. What day is that? Halloween itself is on?

[Danny Kelly]

Please hold the 31st.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I'm saying, what day of the week? It's on a Saturday. Oh, that's fun.

[Danny Hifers]

That's great Halloween stuff.

[Craig Horlebeck]

If you could pick any holiday to be on a Saturday, which would you pick?

[Danny Kelly]

When you're younger, it's Halloween.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

I think when you're. When you're like, high school, college, 20s, whatever, like, it's Halloween idea.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Because Christmas doesn't matter. You'll always get it off when you're a kid, so who cares? And I guess even when you're working, so it doesn't matter when Christmas falls on. But Halloween, I agree.

[Danny Hifers]

That's also. Halloween is kind of like, stuck right in the middle of. No, there's not a lot of other holidays around there. Right. Like, if you're. Because I was thinking initially, like.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Thanks. Kidding.

[Danny Hifers]

It's like three weeks, New Year's Eve, but then. Well, yeah, but it's before it.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Oh, sure.

[Danny Hifers]

So it's like. Yeah, a respite after kind of a grind.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, I think that's a good call.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Well, but if you could pick as an adult to me, I would pick July 4th. I think it's weird when July 4th is on like a Tuesday.

[Danny Kelly]

No, but it disrupts the worth week with a work week. That's nice.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I know, but it doesn't feel right. Like the day after you, like, gotta go back.

[Danny Kelly]

I think it's important. I think the 4th of July is best on a. Like a. Like a Wednesday.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Oh, really?

[Danny Kelly]

Because there's no. There's work the next day. No, we don't. No one does. Like, no one goes.

[Craig Horlebeck]

People who have fucking real jobs do.

[Danny Kelly]

I think there's an understanding. There's an understanding.

[Craig Horlebeck]

All right.

[Danny Kelly]

It's kind of like this is going

[Danny Hifers]

to get a lot of anger.

[Danny Kelly]

Some companies, like.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yeah. Some acknowledge, like, the next day you also get off. But I would say the majority of people of. Thanks. Or if.

[Danny Kelly]

Then maybe Thursday for the Fourth of July because, like, no one's working Friday, July 5th.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Give it to me Friday then. Yeah. And you have Saturday, the night. It's great. There's no worries.

[Danny Kelly]

I don't know. I actually wanted.

[Danny Hifers]

I'm curious what people think about the Halloween thing matters. How where you are in your life.

[Danny Kelly]

Yes, by a lot.

[Danny Hifers]

Because, like, having kids on Halloween. Who cares if you're in college? Halloween is like, yeah, we're gonna go crazy.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Halloween is then the next Friday you want like. Yeah, Friday or Saturday. All right. Yeah. So I'm taking week eight as a prime time slate that you can miss.

[Danny Hifers]

That's good.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Hallow weekend. I said it again.

[Danny Kelly]

I didn't like, invent that. It does exist.

[Craig Horlebeck]

No, I know.

[Danny Hifers]

I don't know.

[Danny Kelly]

It's tough because there really aren't a lot of bad games for like, on the Sunday, prime time.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yeah, they do a good job. They suck you in.

[Danny Kelly]

They're good at this. They are good at scheduling games. I guess that I'll go with for game. Like, no, every time. This is. It actually says same with the schedule, though. Every time I want to be like, this weekend's pride time game sucks. Like, I'm looking at like, week. Week eight, five. And I'm like, oh, Bucks, Cowboys. Okay. Sunday football is like Ravens, Falcons. I'm like the Falcons. And then I look at Monday football. It's Bills, Rams. I'm like, well, that's fucking incredible. But like, there is. They are really. They're amazing at scheduling that way. I guess I'll just go with.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Go ahead, take international game. Take a kicker.

[Danny Kelly]

I'm going to the skippable primetime games. I'm taking week three.

[Craig Horlebeck]

So you're skipping week three and week four. You're doing a back to back skip.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, fuck it. Wow.

[Craig Horlebeck]

No football for basically three weeks for you.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, take it off. Baseball, baby. Falcons, Packers, Rams, Broncos, Eagles. It's fine. It's hard. All the prime time games are good. I don't know.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Eagles, Bears, Rams.

[Danny Kelly]

All the prime time games are good.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Okay. I know it's the hardest part of this is skipping random prime time slates. That's probably the hardest selections you can make it in this draft.

[Danny Hifers]

All right, dk, I'm going to do. And again, it's kind of hard because there's pretty much every weekend has some good games. But I will do week 11 as the. The prime time slate to miss.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Okay.

[Danny Hifers]

You got Thursday night.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Damn it.

[Danny Hifers]

I had this Colts at Texas.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Danny Hifers]

I don't know. Depends. Depends how good the Colts are.

[Craig Horlebeck]

This is a good one, dk.

[Danny Hifers]

The Colts could surprise people, go back to kind of what they were early on in the season, or they could just be pretty bad. Again, kind of hard to know. The Vikings 49ers for Sunday night Football. Again, that's like a pretty fun game, especially if Kyler Murray's playing well by.

[Craig Horlebeck]

By this point we'll either know are the Vikings right, like legitimate or is the Kyler Murray thing a miss?

[Danny Hifers]

Yeah. And then in Monday Night Football, Bengals Commanders, which. Which again, it's actually really hard because every one of these, they did a really good job with primetime slates. I don't think there's any bad except for week four.

[Danny Kelly]

I think I was gonna take this and it's a better pick than mine. I just kept looking at Jaden Daniels. Joe Burrow rematch at Monday football. That's pretty. Jaden Daniels became Jen Daniels was the Monday Night Football in the Corner to Terry McLaurin. And I was like, I have to see that.

[Craig Horlebeck]

And what's nice about this one, dk, is it's the week before Thanksgiving, so you're like giving some time back before you.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, that's smart. Oh, that's actually now I feel that that's good.

[Danny Hifers]

Smart. Yeah.

[Craig Horlebeck]

All right. My next pick here, I'm going to take for a holiday day. A holiday game to watch. I'm taking Thanksgiving morning. Bears, Lions. I love Thanksgiving morning. Yeah, you get up.

[Danny Hifers]

It's not a lot of action in the house quite yet.

[Craig Horlebeck]

No, it's like, again, west coast, it's like 9am you sit down, you're, like, having a cup of coffee on the couch. It's. It's a lovely experience. Everyone's kind of just like, still waking up and.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, everyone. Everyone in America.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I literally started the sentence by saying west coast hyper.

[Danny Hifers]

Fitz will never. I literally said he will never let you say anything about the west coast without chirping.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yeah. Where are you now, motherfucker? Where are these studios, huh? I'm taking.

[Danny Hifers]

Where are you currently located?

[Craig Horlebeck]

I'm taking the morning Thanksgiving game.

[Danny Kelly]

If you could just handle my complaints, then you can continue to play golf on Black Friday.

[Craig Horlebeck]

And that's a good trade for everybody.

[Danny Kelly]

No, that's a good. I think so. That game is amazing. And I. Again, my main takeaway from this, other than, again, scheduling the holidays in ways that I'm worried about, you know, all of our relationships. I do think the schedule is really good this year because, like, that one in particular, that's the best possible Lions game. Obviously, Lions are always in that slot on Thanksgiving, but that is two years removed from the Caleb Williams Eberfluss brain fart, where it's like, Matt Eberfluss, like, got like, you know, did the clock. We didn't call timeout. Caleb Williams just blew it and ran out the clock. That was, like, pretty easily the worst moment of Caleb Williams, like, entire football career at any level. It's the worst. That's the worst moment he's ever played. And I think it hit it. It was a dagger to Caleb Williams himself because he's like. I mean, he's calling himself now the Iceman. He's the clutch guy. And, like, he did like that.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Is he calling himself that?

[Danny Kelly]

So is Drake, and that's brutal overlap at the moment.

[Danny Hifers]

Like, Drake is calling himself the Iceman.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, Drake released three albums on the same day last.

[Danny Hifers]

Oh, I thought you meant Drake may.

[Craig Horlebeck]

He's doing that.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, no. He's doing that. No, Drake.

[Danny Hifers]

Drake the artist. Right, okay.

[Danny Kelly]

Kendrick Lamar did the halftime show for the 2024 NFL season, and then Drake released three albums on the day the 2026 schedule was released, which I didn't find very compelling. Anyway, I just think it's cool that Caleb gets to avenge in the same slot on Thanksgiving two Years later, the worst moment of his entire life for football.

[Danny Hifers]

Yep.

[Danny Kelly]

It's a good pick.

[Danny Hifers]

It's a good pick. He says of his own pick.

[Danny Kelly]

No, it's his pick.

[Danny Hifers]

Oh, okay.

[Danny Kelly]

Gotcha. It's a compliment.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Thank you.

[Danny Hifers]

All right, then. It's up to you then. We're running out of good ones here.

[Craig Horlebeck]

We tricky.

[Danny Hifers]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

I'll take international game to skip. Ooh, actually, no. The way Craig said that, I'm gonna wait.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Oh, no. I was excited to hear what you.

[Danny Kelly]

This is so easy. Actually. There's one international game that's, I think, worse than all the others. And it's. It's. It's Colts commanders and like that. If you're gonna, like, just be like, we're gonna go pumpkin picking one morning.

[Craig Horlebeck]

It's week four. It's in London also.

[Danny Kelly]

London. I actually like. There's other international games. The other look like the idea. There's a game in Paris for the first time. That actually is kind of cool. How many times you've seen the freaking London game. I don't care. It's just Colts is week four. Daniel Jones versus Washington. I'm like, meanwhile, if Jaden Daniels gets hurt, I'm not even turning this game on. Like, that is of all the international games to skip.

[Danny Hifers]

I think that's like, we already know enough about English culture. We don't need, like, the little interstitials during the game. We don't need.

[Craig Horlebeck]

They're trying to make London an official NFL city.

[Danny Kelly]

It's like, right, they were going to do that before the pandemic. They were going to put the Jaguars in London for. For half their home games. They're going to do four and four. And then the pandemic happened and they couldn't do it.

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[Craig Horlebeck]

tremphyaradio.com so I won the scheduled draft.

[Danny Kelly]

Do you guys have any comments?

[Craig Horlebeck]

Well, I'm sure it was hard to track, but we're going to put it up on Instagram. We'll have like a build out of these boards. And I'm curious to see the Don't Get Divorced draft. Which of our slates? I would love to have test subjects where we actually have people follow each of our recommendations and see how it goes. Anybody want to see it here?

[Danny Hifers]

See how their marriage goes.

[Danny Kelly]

You know who's going to win? The guy who like took the super bowl off.

[Danny Hifers]

There's no other variables. It's only how do you approach the NFL season?

[Craig Horlebeck]

Text us your marital updates.

[Danny Kelly]

Someone is going to be like one of those 100-year-old people. Like, what advice? He's like, I just took the super bowl off of my wife.

[Danny Hifers]

Every what's the bright is Brian Johnson. Is that the rich guy who's trying to live forever?

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Boners in the middle of the night.

[Danny Hifers]

Can we measure the fuck is with let's measure boners. Let's measure sex frequency. He was Brian Johnson was tracking the other day the chemical makeup of his wife's vagina or girlfriend. I'm not sure he and he was talking about eating her out. I mean he at this point.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Is that phrase safe for podcast?

[Danny Hifers]

Sorry for cunnilingus.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Sure.

[Danny Hifers]

How's that?

[Craig Horlebeck]

I just wanted to make him at

[Danny Hifers]

this point, I'm actually kind of convinced the whole thing has been a bit. I'm not sure.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Oh, like he's a comedian. He's Andy Kaufman.

[Danny Kelly]

It's Nathan Fielders.

[Danny Hifers]

Like Joaquin Phoenix when he became a rapper. I'm pretty sure Brian Johnson is actually just fucking with us this entire time because he is posting about his and his son's boners the hardness ratios between the two of them, the length.

[Craig Horlebeck]

It's tough.

[Danny Hifers]

It's crazy. And he, and he literally was talking about his girlfriend's privates. Sorry, I, I took it down to the G rating there.

[Danny Kelly]

That's worse. Somehow I can't explain this private part. Why that's worse.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Brenda Johnson is. I believe they're married.

[Danny Kelly]

It's.

[Danny Hifers]

Anyway, we need someone who will do that for the NFL schedule with their marriage.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Wait, this might be the. Brandon Johnson might be married to Brian Johnson, the lead singer of acdc.

[Danny Hifers]

Not her.

[Danny Kelly]

That she's probably also having a great time.

[Craig Horlebeck]

The tough thing about Brian Johnson is that I feel like 10, there's only one things he's doing are really smart and great and everybody should be doing it, but because the other 90 is so he's a idiot, you just completely write him off. But I'm sure there are like one out of every ten things he's doing is probably really smart.

[Danny Kelly]

He's going to do a bunch of great stuff, figure out to live to 200, get hit by a bus, and it's going to be, like, bad.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Well, the funny, I'm like, you live in Venice. That's like, I don't know, LA doesn't have the best air quality and you. And Venice is like a cool, hip, like, artsy place to be. I don't know, not the safest spot. Like, you could have picked better locations probably. Like, why is he not in some hidden bunker up in the hill somewhere?

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, he should be in the East Coast. There you go. Somebody can't play golf on Black Friday.

[Craig Horlebeck]

That's right. Brian Johnson golfs.

[Danny Kelly]

I, I don't know what that guy's doing.

[Danny Hifers]

I, I look, I'll be honest. I followed him. I had to follow him on Twitter. I'm like, I gotta, I gotta know what this guy's gonna fucking say next.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Who's your favorite hate follow? Or like, I shouldn't say hate, but, like, morbid curiosity follow. Like, I follow Zuck.

[Danny Kelly]

It's, it's the. When he started doing the wakeboarding fourth of July with the rebrand.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Great rebrand floating wakeboard thing.

[Danny Kelly]

How much do you think he paid to be like, make me cool? That was incredible.

[Craig Horlebeck]

He's, like, doing martial arts. He's, like, in shape. He's like, wakeboarding.

[Danny Kelly]

Well, you know the story.

[Craig Horlebeck]

He wears a chain and, like, big boxing T shirts.

[Danny Hifers]

How does it make you feel that he could, like, probably kick your ass?

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, definitely. Funny. When Elon Musk tried to fight him and I was Like I actually would put thousands of dollars in Mark Zuckerberg. Like he actually knows how to fight.

[Craig Horlebeck]

He tore his ACL doing it.

[Danny Kelly]

The so did Drake the Zuckerberg. The transformation into him just being like, I'm gonna wakeboard. It's gonna be cool.

[Craig Horlebeck]

He's got like curly hair and a chain and he wakeboards and he's like in shape.

[Danny Kelly]

The.

[Craig Horlebeck]

But I, I do have a weird. Because he's so alien to me. I love, I love, I love watching him interact with the camera. Great people and people.

[Danny Hifers]

The.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Do you guys have. Do you have anybody who's like.

[Danny Kelly]

My morbid curiosity is the Instagram account we were talking a few weeks ago. It's the guy with the gators and the emus in Florida and the yoink guy. A very gentle yoink. The guy who goes through the Everglades in the middle of the night and he yoinks snakes. But that's just cool. No, but it is cool. But my morbid curiosity is I wonder when this man will die going through the Everglades at night and fighting snakes. He just grabs snakes. And my morbid curiosity is I wonder when this man will stop posting and then we're going to have to go look for him in the Everglades. Yeah, but for famous people. I know that's more what you're asking. I don't know.

[Craig Horlebeck]

You got anybody?

[Danny Hifers]

I mean it's Brian Johnson for sure.

[Craig Horlebeck]

That's a good one.

[Danny Hifers]

I'm just man, some good stuff in here. I don't know. But the other one, I was thinking the first one that came to mind, which is this is probably different than what you're thinking but like Magic Johnson,

[Danny Kelly]

like congratulations.

[Danny Hifers]

Fucking epic. Just the most obvious banal milk toast observations. It's so good. He's like, my team won 87 to 69. Was a hell of a victory. Go Lakers.

[Craig Horlebeck]

It's even. But it's like, it's like LeBron James was victorious today against the Utah Jazz, scoring 38 points in a win at home in Los Angeles.

[Danny Kelly]

He read the box score and summed it up as an old time radio announcer with the mid transatlantic accent. The Los Angeles Dodgers beat him a 30 to 27 in a rousing victory.

[Craig Horlebeck]

He's like trying to communicate every basic piece of information via tweet.

[Danny Kelly]

It's great.

[Danny Hifers]

Here's the tweet by the way, from Brian Johnson from April 29th. Just gave. Just gave Kate oral sex. Good night everyone. This guy's. He can't be being serious.

[Craig Horlebeck]

He knows.

[Danny Kelly]

So do you Think he was so.

[Danny Hifers]

And then he followed that up with. Said he. They did a test on her vagina.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, he doesn't drink.

[Danny Hifers]

So they did a test on her vagina here.

[Craig Horlebeck]

You think he's drinking like, whiskey?

[Danny Kelly]

Good point.

[Danny Hifers]

He's not drinking.

[Craig Horlebeck]

So, like, can't measure.

[Danny Hifers]

Hold on, hold on. He said he followed that up and said this is her vaginal microbiome report. 100 out of 100 score her top 1% of all vaginas. It can't be real.

[Danny Kelly]

So is that the vagina combo?

[Craig Horlebeck]

He said it wrong. The vagina is in the 99th percentile.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, exactly. That's wrong.

[Danny Hifers]

Right.

[Craig Horlebeck]

99th percentile.

[Danny Kelly]

What about the relative athletic score? What's the RAZ for the. Where's getting this data set from?

[Craig Horlebeck]

What's the three cone?

[Danny Hifers]

Oh, God. Jesus.

[Craig Horlebeck]

This is crazy.

[Danny Hifers]

Anyway, I'll stop.

[Craig Horlebeck]

You're right though. He will get hit by a bus. Probably. I'm not rooting for that, but.

[Danny Kelly]

Right.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Cosmic retribution.

[Danny Kelly]

All right, well, you want to talk about your wedding? Yeah, probably that note.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Speaking of, DK and I flew to dc. It was a lovely weekend. Weather was great.

[Danny Hifers]

It was.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Hivetz did a really cool thing where his wedding was like spots in D.C. that he and Jackie that mean a lot to he and Jackie. And they were all within walking distance of each other. So there was literally like four locations throughout the evening and night where they got married in one place. And then you'd walk somewhere else across the street for dinner. And then you walk across the street to the dancing and the speeches. And then there was an after party bar. It was really well done. A great way to explore a city. You did a great job.

[Danny Hifers]

And it was funny because we talked a couple times during the whole process. I was like, oh, it's so fun to see what Heifetz, how he's like living. I always just picture him in this little closet where he's recording. That's the only thing. That's the only place he goes in my mind. I never know. I never realized that he actually goes out of his house. And the area that he lives is. We see is like very vibrant. There's lots of cool bars and a lot of young people.

[Craig Horlebeck]

14th Street.

[Danny Hifers]

I was like, damn, is high Fitz cool? Holy shit.

[Danny Kelly]

He's doing.

[Danny Hifers]

He's fucking killing it out here.

[Craig Horlebeck]

His city.

[Danny Hifers]

And then he, during the wedding was like, we just wanted you guys to experience, like, what it is for us. I was like, I got got. I definitely. That definitely happened.

[Danny Kelly]

It was fun. We had a really good time. I. We have a lot of, like, people I want to thank, a lot of ven. Every vendor we worked with was awesome. But yeah, we wanted to have like a wedding that felt like local, like our neighborhood. We very much did want to, like, have you guys, like, experience like a little slice of our life. And so every place we went to, and we did a lot, went shout out, Tabard in. We got married there. Went to our first date, shot at Residence Cafe in Washington D.C. which is our favorite restaurant. Went there for a first date, went there, we got engaged.

[Craig Horlebeck]

That place was great.

[Danny Kelly]

Got married there. We had the best time. And honestly, the cop Shout out Deb and Lucy, Lucy's best bartender in the city. And they had amazing drinks and everything. But, like, we just loved it because it's like, it's so beautiful. But like, we walk there. Like, we walk to Tabard. Like, literally we could have walked home if we wanted to. And like the friends we have who came from out of town. What I like is the in town friends also, like, could have walked. And we just liked the idea that, like, it's like, it's not like a random place. Like, these are places we walk by every day. Like, even the place we had the party at the end. Like, we don't go there all the time, but I walk by it day every, every day. And we like the idea that, like, you guys could experience that. It was really fun. You guys were awesome too. So you guys were fun. You guys were a good hang too. Like, you guys actually stayed the Craig's, like. Yeah, no, it was fun. We had a really good time.

[Danny Hifers]

You guys did great job on your vows. The vows were just, I mean, everybody, no dry eyes in. In the house. Everyone was crying and, and like, you know, it was really beautiful seeing you guys. I thought everything was like, very well thought out. So I credit you for that. It was like a great time.

[Danny Kelly]

Unlike this show, it was very well planned.

[Danny Hifers]

It was. It went off without a hitch. I thought your dad and Jackie's area,

[Craig Horlebeck]

they passed out espresso martinis to everybody, which was cool. Move.

[Danny Hifers]

Your dad and Jackie's mom had great speeches. Your brother and Jackie's brother, great speeches, great dancing. We did the horror, which was super fun.

[Danny Kelly]

Went up in the chair as a family guy. I want to be top Jew.

[Craig Horlebeck]

We lifted you up. Your dad.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God.

[Danny Hifers]

We woke him up so we could do it.

[Danny Kelly]

Did you see the interaction I had with my dad about. Because the way it is, it's like you're like, hold on there was a

[Craig Horlebeck]

very intimate moment between Heifetz and his father that only I saw where like, after we had brought Heifetz down from the chair, he kind of looked over. Everybody was just kind of doing their own thing, and he kind of looked over at his dad, who was sitting down in the dance floor area, and he just kind of point. It was all nonverbal and he was kind of like pointed, like, you want

[Danny Hifers]

to go to the.

[Craig Horlebeck]

You want to do the chair thing? And then his dad was just like, shrug, like, shrug, like, I wouldn't mind it. Get him in the chair. Get him in the chair.

[Danny Hifers]

Chair.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Very sweet.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, dude. I. I have to say that, you

[Craig Horlebeck]

know, your dad's speech was hilarious.

[Danny Kelly]

My dad's very rambling, but wonderful and lovely. Somewhat scatterbrained.

[Danny Hifers]

Can I tell this story about from

[Craig Horlebeck]

Hypit's dad's speech, saving the dog. Saving the dog.

[Danny Kelly]

This was fun. You guys sucked.

[Danny Hifers]

You never told us about this, first of all.

[Danny Kelly]

Okay, well, you tell.

[Danny Hifers]

I'll tell the story based on what happened, based on Stan hyphens.

[Danny Kelly]

Should we set the stage of how I had to hold the mic for him?

[Craig Horlebeck]

Well, let's go even deeper. The restaurant was split, right? There's a second floor and a first floor. And so basically all the younger people were up on the second level of the restaurant eating, and the lower level had all of the parents and stuff. So the speeches took place on the first floor. So where we were sitting at dinner, we could not see them. But they piped the audio through the speakers, which is really well done.

[Danny Kelly]

And I saw that.

[Craig Horlebeck]

So we could only hear the speeches. We couldn't see them.

[Danny Kelly]

My only real anxiety with the wedding was like I was a little worried about, like the two floor thing and you can't see the space. But I was like, I've been other weddings and like, sometimes you can't see as far away. I was like, it's fine. However, I thought the audio, it had to be.

[Craig Horlebeck]

It was like a podcast. It was good.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. But I was like, it has to. You're like. But I thought. I was like, as long as everyone's talking into the microphone, it's fine. But the moment the microphone cuts out, then everyone's just quietly in a room waiting for every fourth word. I'm like, that's an eternity for like. So I was like, that's the only rules. My dad is talking to the mic. So of course he starts and he is just waving this thing. He is incapable of holding it. And after the third time, I Had so much anxiety about everyone upstairs not be here. I grabbed the mic from him and I held it there the entire time. So I was the mic stand. So the whole speech, I am just holding it for him so he could talk.

[Craig Horlebeck]

And the audio was crisp.

[Danny Hifers]

So, anyways, Stan tells this great story about how. Well, first of all, it was beautiful and it was very cool. Cause, like, both Jackie's mom and Stan Heife is his mom or dad. Sorry, story. Told stories about how they're. They're, you know, standing up for their friends against bullies. It was great. Like, truthfully, I was, like, not weeping, but I had, like, you know, I was crying a little bit. It was great. That being said, the story about you saving a dog from a frozen lake, basically what I understand is you're on a walk with your mom. Your mom's friend's dog went out onto this frozen lake and fell into the lake high fits without even.

[Danny Kelly]

It's not a lake.

[Danny Hifers]

Okay. Whatever. Fell into the frozen water. Heifetz, without even hesitating, starts stripping off his clothes. And he said it was like. David Hasselhoff, Westchester Baywatch.

[Danny Kelly]

Westchester Baywatch. Just really good.

[Danny Hifers]

I just thought the. The vision of Hyphus, like, running and throwing his clothes off so he can save.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Upon thrashing through the icy water. They said he got all cut up. His dad was like. His thighs were bleeding.

[Danny Kelly]

We were like, what?

[Craig Horlebeck]

Were his thighs bleeding?

[Danny Hifers]

Cause I first pictured, like, more of a Minnesota thing where you're trying to lay on the ice and grab the dog out. But apparently he's, like, wading into the water and the ice is cutting up.

[Craig Horlebeck]

The ice was so thin that the dog, which is not a huge dog,

[Danny Kelly]

broke through the ice. My fear was that if I went out to the middle of the ice to get the dog, but then I broke through. Like, I just felt. That was, like, really bad.

[Danny Hifers]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

And I felt like. Like I had to break a lane to the dog because that way I wanted the way back. Had to be.

[Danny Hifers]

He's an icebreaker.

[Danny Kelly]

But the way easier just. I felt like. The only thing I knew in the moment was, like, the weight back has to be easier than the way there. And I was like, I need to clear a lane.

[Danny Hifers]

He thought this all out as he's taking, like, yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

No. And. But yeah.

[Danny Hifers]

So then he saved this dog. And then his brother got all mad at him because he could have died.

[Danny Kelly]

Well, my brother. My brother was. He's a firefighter. He was like. He was an EMT at the time, or, like, had been an EMT for of kind couple years. And he basically was like, do you realize how like how my brother in his loving way was basically like, do

[Craig Horlebeck]

you have any idea how if you

[Danny Kelly]

had got hypothermia, you would have just fucking died? Like, did anyone think he's screaming at my mom's like, did anyone think to call 911? He's like, no, nobody. Anyway. But it was. Yeah. So my dad told that story. The other one was I. It was funny from my perspective because my dad told the story that I actually had forgotten about about one of my teammates in high school football team. He had to walk home from 2A days and we. I just saw it a couple. And so we would pick him up, we'd go to Burger King every day. And like, you know, and then I hear this cackling from upstairs and I fucking knew immediately would happen, which was my friends upstairs were like, fuck that. Danny just wanted Burger King. That's not being nice. Savage right there. He wants chicken fingers.

[Danny Hifers]

He's like using this kid to get Burger King.

[Danny Kelly]

He wants them chicken fries.

[Danny Hifers]

That's good.

[Craig Horlebeck]

It was great, though. There was a lot of stories about. Honestly, you and Jackie are great for one another. You're such good people. And there was. There's so many stories about how great of people the two of you are, and the fact that you found one another is very touching and sweet.

[Danny Kelly]

The line I will. The best line that everyone came up to me after from the vows was I was reading my vows and I was like, because Tom, how we're in different fields. And I was saying, Jack and I were doing work together one time. We were like working together at the same table. And she was like, what are you doing? And I was like, I'm writing an article on how Julio Jones and A.J. brown will fit together as receivers on the Tennessee Titans.

[Danny Hifers]

I'm really stressed. This sucks.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Don't bother me.

[Danny Kelly]

What are you doing? And she's like, I'm figuring out how many refugees we're flee Afghanistan next year. Everyone lost it. And then I gave her the laptop garden. But yeah, puts things in perspective.

[Danny Hifers]

Also, at the end of the night, we all ended up. So first of all, we danced hard. I've never. I don't think I've ever sweat harder than I did. That was the most humid.

[Craig Horlebeck]

It was a sweaty night.

[Danny Hifers]

It was a sweaty dance.

[Danny Kelly]

The only part that made me upset was the kid Cudi Pursuit of Happiness came on and then I couldn't find you.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Oh, sorry.

[Danny Kelly]

I see. It's.

[Craig Horlebeck]

We. We got Levels, though.

[Danny Kelly]

We got levels.

[Danny Hifers]

Yeah. I was gonna say that was good. That was where we did, like, the New York Giants or. Sorry, the. The San Francisco Giants hump thing.

[Danny Kelly]

That's banned, by the way.

[Craig Horlebeck]

You know, Brian Johnson studied that. Studied the blood flow.

[Danny Kelly]

That was three bucks. Exactly. No, that's science.

[Danny Hifers]

And then at the end, we went to this other bar.

[Danny Kelly]

Shout out Muni in D.C. best sports bar in the city. Shout Out Muni.

[Danny Hifers]

That was really fun because a bunch of really drunk people got to go swing golf clubs.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yeah. Shockingly, no.

[Danny Hifers]

The fake golf thing where you hit the ball and it tells you how far that would have gone or whatever. And then there was also, for some reason, I was really hell bent on playing soccer that night.

[Danny Kelly]

Simulators. You can also kick a soccer ball.

[Danny Hifers]

I was like, high, Fitz. We gotta go do this soccer thing. And we go over. And I missed the first, like, legitimately, like, 10 shots. This goalie was fucking good.

[Danny Kelly]

You could have been English PK's.

[Danny Hifers]

And it was, like, starting to get embarrassing. And then finally I made one. I was like, okay, thank God. And then your friend Alexa. Yeah, well, she. Someone came up and did, like, one of the ones where you just, like, barely kick it. And the guy dove too quickly, and

[Craig Horlebeck]

it rolled past him.

[Danny Kelly]

I was like, son of a.

[Danny Hifers]

But then your other friend, and he is the. He was the offensive lineman.

[Craig Horlebeck]

He was doing.

[Danny Hifers]

He was, like, doing the lineman, like, you know, pass sets on the dance floor. I'm like, damn, this guy's freaking locked in. And then he comes up and. And just a trebuchet of a leg. Just fucking. He was. He was making it almost every time. I was like, this is. This is what it feels like to be, like, playing against someone who's actually a good athlete.

[Danny Kelly]

Offensive linemen are huge. The biggest people, you know?

[Danny Hifers]

And also, I was like, I haven't kicked a ball since I was in eighth grade. And then there's this guy, and he kept. He kept coming over and consoling me because I was like, what the. You are just. That is like a piss missile. I was like. I was, like, gassing him up, and he came over. He's like, my brother was D1, man.

[Danny Kelly]

Like, and then I was gonna. I.

[Danny Hifers]

You guys D1 in soccer.

[Danny Kelly]

I wanted you to do the touch my shoulder thing, which is like an offensive lineman thing. And it's like, he didn't. He was supposed to play D1, and then he. As an offensive lineman. And then he got. He had this, like, neck shoulder injury, so he couldn't. And Then. But like someone who even just was offered D1 and then had to rescind it didn't even play. And it's like touch his shoulder and it's like impossible. Just like such a good reminder of like so big and head violence of like. But also the speed feed. It's like. And it's just like you can't. And it literally looks like you're like a child's trying to like go like, you know when scrappy doo is just like holding the little like totally like, you know, like they are different.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Demoralizing.

[Danny Hifers]

Anyways, it was super fun and I, I was like legit sore. My leg, my leg was super sore the next day from soccer. So. Anyways, that was fun.

[Danny Kelly]

It was, it was awesome. I loved. I appreciate you guys being. It was, it was kind of like almost like a bar hopping vibe. We kind of went. Honestly, there's like four different places.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Are you used to the ring?

[Danny Kelly]

Okay, so I lost the ring on Monday.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Okay.

[Danny Kelly]

I. Dude, it was like perfect. It was the perfect day.

[Danny Hifers]

A real. Just a day really.

[Danny Kelly]

We had the best weekend ever and need to say it was like, obviously there's like tons of stress before and everything, but then like the weekend comes together. I couldn't have literally everything. The way the vendors went, like the, the weather, like every possible imaginable thing fell together, including things that go wrong. Didn't even matter. And it's like it goes through it. Everything was perfect. Sunday was amazing. We had the best. And Monday was amazing. I took her out to dinner. It was great. Come back and we're at dinner at this great. This restaurant Uchi that just opened in dc. That's fantastic. And we went. And she's like, is it weird wearing a ring? And I'm like, yeah. And I look and I don't have it. And I'm like, now. She did this when I proposed to her, but she knew where it was. She was doing the dishes and she took it off. I go back, I'm like, yeah. I took a shower and I'm like, oh God, I don't know where it is. And so I like spiral a little bit. I'm freaking out. I'm like, man, this everlasting symbol of love. I immediately fucking lost one day. And I'm like two, one and a half. And I was like 30, 36 hours. I made it 50 hours. And I was like, fuck. I was really upset. And then we're going. We're gonna go to Springsteen or something next week in D.C. and then my brother Calls me. I was like, what do you fucking want?

[Craig Horlebeck]

I need my ring.

[Danny Kelly]

And I. And then I found it. But I never left the apartment. I was just doing chores, cleaning up and everything. And then I panicked. And then I had a menti be. And then I just had to, like, recover. But then I did find a mental breakdown. Like a mental break. A little menti beat?

[Danny Hifers]

No. Is that some kind of new, like, a little mentor thing that you take?

[Danny Kelly]

I was like, no. Meant to be. No. I was like, just upset.

[Danny Hifers]

I like Mentos, the fresh Maker.

[Danny Kelly]

I found it in this random bin of, like, stuff that we had to. I was consolidating all our wedding.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Did it fall off or you took it off?

[Danny Kelly]

I still don't really know. It was in a bin. It was like, in this bin. It was clearly. It happened between, like, must happen to be like, one. And I don't know, but I found it. Am I glad I found it before I came here. Oh, my God. So now I've learned a valuable lesson to not play with this thing. Do you play with this thing?

[Craig Horlebeck]

What do you. Do you keep it on when you sleep or shower? What do you do?

[Danny Kelly]

No, you take it off to sleep.

[Danny Hifers]

I basically just wear it in public for the most part. I don't like wearing.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I wear it all day, every day, except when I sleep.

[Danny Hifers]

I don't know why.

[Craig Horlebeck]

It's like, it bothers me when I sleep.

[Danny Kelly]

Let me tell you something I've learned, boys. I'm not taking this thing off anymore. I am. Oh, my God. That was stressful.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

So, yeah, I'll take any. If. Should we have any advice? Need some advice?

[Danny Hifers]

Wife advice.

[Danny Kelly]

I kind of want one of the seven to cheese wife advice.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Last episode, but now that we actually all have wives, I think we need to do a full wife advice episode. I think. Yeah, I don't even really know what. What the seven will be.

[Danny Kelly]

I think. I think we should start with, like, should. I think now that Jimmy Garoppolo seems like he's going to retire, we do need to figure out who the hottest quarterback in the NFL is. So I think the question is, do we do it through the male gaze or the female gaze? Maybe the seven vote.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Well, I think it'd be interesting to do both. What we should do is the three of us should make our ranking, and then we should have the best seven. We don't look at either. And just like, we're on the show,

[Danny Kelly]

if we ranked like, hot SNL cast members, I. Without knowing anything about the world, I would have Been like, well, Pete Davis is last.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Right.

[Danny Kelly]

You know what I mean? And then I've never. Like. Like, men just don't. Or like the. We were joking about the Counting Crows guy.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Oh, yeah. Didn't he date Adam Dur? He dated. He dated both of them.

[Danny Kelly]

That's insane.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Legend.

[Danny Kelly]

He looks like Guy Fieri. Like, it's like, how the. Dude.

[Craig Horlebeck]

What is he, tennis player? Yeah, dude. Musicians. He get away with that.

[Danny Kelly]

I feel like our age. That's everybody's stream. That's actually probably the only thing that unites millennial men is like wishing you could have dated both of them.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Aniston and Cox. That's. That's wild.

[Danny Hifers]

It's pretty wild.

[Danny Kelly]

Looks like Guy Fieri.

[Craig Horlebeck]

But yeah, we should do that. We should have the seven concoct their. Their ranking. I think 32 to one. Of all the starting quarterbacks.

[Danny Kelly]

32nd.

[Danny Hifers]

I want to know. We're putting you to, like, this is a lot of work.

[Danny Kelly]

Second hottest quarterback. And then.

[Craig Horlebeck]

And then we'll do the same. And we should.

[Danny Hifers]

I also think we should just get general advice.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Craig Horlebeck]

About what?

[Danny Hifers]

I don't know. We need to get some advice on.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I don't know what. Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Marriage started with the nut kicking.

[Craig Horlebeck]

We just did this NFL schedule draft. Maybe we get wife advice around how they want their husbands or their partners to handle the NFL season.

[Danny Hifers]

If they're listening to the show, they're probably the ones in the relationship are like, I gotta watch this game.

[Craig Horlebeck]

That's true.

[Danny Kelly]

They're like, you want to take me to dinner on Valentine's Day? Do you know it's the Super Bowl?

[Danny Hifers]

I gotta watch this game.

[Craig Horlebeck]

However, if you're listening in the car are. And you are the partner that is not as into football.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, we want your. We want.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Email us how you kind of go about the season and how you handle it.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, that's what we want.

[Craig Horlebeck]

That's what. Wife advice.

[Danny Hifers]

Can you just. Even if you're not a wife, do the Womadoons.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Kweb Williams. Dwight May. Ewin wagers. It goes on and on. J. Win Hertz.

[Danny Kelly]

Kyler Murray is a good one.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Kyra Murray.

[Danny Hifers]

Murray.

[Danny Kelly]

Anything else?

[Craig Horlebeck]

No.

[Danny Kelly]

Are there nice things you want to say about me?

[Craig Horlebeck]

No, I. That was enough.

[Danny Kelly]

It's my only one all year. Okay. One every year.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yeah. Once a year. We're gonna go to a bar tonight, watch a Knicks game with you, dude.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, wembanyama. I think is the way.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Although this episode's gonna come out like four days after that.

[Danny Kelly]

Well, I. I think Wemb. We'll see what happens with that series. But I do think that Wembanyama has the chance to do what Ohtani did last year, which is like kind of single handedly bring the sport across the precipice into like, I think Ohtani with last and the Dodgers run past baseball, basketball as the second best sport. And when it's really. We obviously talked about how Ohtani is like unprecedented and we actually do. Wembanyama is also like that 30 foot shot. I know at this point it was like a week ago, but you're like, okay, this is. That's weird.

[Craig Horlebeck]

He is like legitimately unlike anything I've ever seen in any sport. Even more so than Ohtani.

[Danny Hifers]

Who?

[Craig Horlebeck]

Ohtani doesn't look weird. He's just doing two things.

[Danny Kelly]

He's just really tall. Ohtani is.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yeah. But like, you know, that's it. Wembanyama doesn't make any anatomical sense, right?

[Danny Hifers]

No, because Ohtani is built like when he hits a home run, you're like,

[Craig Horlebeck]

Jesus, six, four, six, five baseball players. Wembanyama is six foot seven foot five, six. Whatever you want to say is. And he can hit threes and he's fucking taking the ball up the court,

[Danny Kelly]

joking that like women yamo that like backwards reverse Alupi did to like seal the game the week. The game one versus the Thunder. It's funny because, like, I'm not an NBA player. Probably never will be.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Probably don't never say never.

[Danny Kelly]

I'm never say never. I don't want to brag.

[Danny Hifers]

Probably never going to be.

[Danny Kelly]

Probably that like, throw it right at the rim and let him dunk. First thing I would have thought of. I don't really understand why it took so long.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Every time I watch it, he's like, do it every time.

[Danny Hifers]

Throwing the ball down through the. Very frequently.

[Danny Kelly]

I think I'm on the cutting edge of NBA strategy. Do you know what I think? I swear to God would be the best point guard for Wembanyama. Mitchell Robinson, the center on the knicks who shoots 35% from the free throw line because his free throw shooting is the stupidest thing I've ever seen. He looks like he's trying to miss the free throw. He's trying to hit the front rim to get the rebound, but he shoots it like one inch above. And I'm like, for Wembanyama, that's perfect. And if Mitchell Robinson just did a free throw every time.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Just throwing line drives.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, yeah. Just line drives. Wembanyama would catch. I'm like, no one can Stop this.

[Craig Horlebeck]

It'd be cool if, for the, like, the worst free throw shooter on every NBA team, like Mitchell Robinson. It'd be cool if the Knicks could be like, we'll take anyone from the crowd to shoot instead of Mitchell Robinson because we think he'll have a better shot.

[Danny Kelly]

That's what the Savannah Bananas would do. Like, literally anyone could go down. I actually think a quarter of the men in a crowded area, you could hit 2 out of 10 to 5% is.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Oh, free throws. I could hit 8 out of 10.

[Danny Hifers]

Oh, free throws. Okay.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, I actually. I actually kind of think I could do better than three out of, like, what was your.

[Danny Hifers]

What is it? You said two out of five from three.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I think I said three out of five.

[Danny Kelly]

I would like to think I get

[Craig Horlebeck]

40 from the corner.

[Danny Kelly]

Three out of five. But you're like, during the game, though, you don't have to have free throws.

[Danny Hifers]

By the way, Craig. Craig. This is hilarious too, because I'm just picturing them pulling Craig out of the crowd for like a. In a playoff game, very important stakes. Craig did this when he hit the half court shot to win the truck. That actually wasn't. He didn't actually win it. It was a leaf piece.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Correct.

[Danny Hifers]

I've seen the video. Craig comes out and he's like hamming it up.

[Danny Kelly]

I have to say.

[Danny Hifers]

He's like pretending he's gonna do it. Granny style efforts.

[Danny Kelly]

He acted like he was gonna make it the whole time, which was pretty.

[Craig Horlebeck]

You have to.

[Danny Kelly]

And then he made it. But you didn't celebrate that much.

[Danny Hifers]

He wrist up the crowd before he hits.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Pretty impressive at the office.

[Danny Kelly]

So.

[Danny Hifers]

Yeah, I'm just picturing that.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Anyway. I don't have a Toyota Tacoma now.

[Danny Kelly]

Maybe Toyota can make it up to you. I mean, I kind of. It's like the lifetime.

[Craig Horlebeck]

It would be full circle if they sponsored the show. If the Toyota Tacoma sponsored the show.

[Danny Hifers]

Now we're talking.

[Craig Horlebeck]

That's not an ad.

[Danny Hifers]

Hi, Fitz, though, to get back, really what you said. Very proud of you. Good job on the wedding. It was super fun to see. Like I said, it was like an emotional thing. It was very cool to be in New York City and get to experience your life. Obviously, like, what we experience of your DC Life is very limited. So this was very fun. And Jackie is amazing. Jackie, he's like the best. Love Jackie, dude.

[Danny Kelly]

I nailed it with that.

[Danny Hifers]

Yeah, she's awesome. So that was super fun and yeah, just really proud of you. Love you. And yeah, it was great.

[Craig Horlebeck]

All right, that's enough of that.

[Danny Kelly]

That's really earnest. I do love you guys. Thanks for coming. Yeah, I. I literally was like, thank you guys for coming. You guys came for a long way. Craig looked at me, he was like, I would have gone to Australia for.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I appreciate it, like, six times, like, throughout the night. He's like, thank you so much for coming, you guys. I'm like, dude, of course we can go anywhere.

[Danny Hifers]

We have modern airplanes.

[Danny Kelly]

Well, it's. What's funny about doing, you know, it's so funny. People kept asking me, like, how are you doing at the welcome drinks? It was on Friday night. And I kept. It's the stupidest comment you could imagine. But I was at my welcome drinks and I was like, honestly, I keep looking around the room and I'm like, wow, I think I know everybody here.

[Craig Horlebeck]

It's a very bizarre feeling.

[Danny Kelly]

Right, right, right. But I'm like, it is. It's, as my friend Bobby said, like, it's just the ultimate crossover episode. And you're like, I see you two talking to, like, my friends from elementary school.

[Craig Horlebeck]

You're like, oh, there's my aunt, there's my childhood best friend, there's my co worker. It's bizarre.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, yeah. And then you're like, what do they even talk? Like, oh, my God, they went to, like, the same college or something. You know, it's just. Yeah, it's. Yeah, it was.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yeah, it was great to meet all your friends or see them again for the second or third time. It's nice because half the time, like, when you guys come here, it's like we're mostly just working and then get out. And we, like, don't really get to do any of the fun parts of la. Same with. Even, like, when we like dc, it's like live show, you get in, you prepare, you do the show, you leave. It was nice to just have time to be in one of our cities with nothing to do except hang out. Yeah. Yeah, it was nice.

[Danny Kelly]

That's why, like, your wedding was so fun. Like, I, we. I rented a red convertible Mustang Jack

[Craig Horlebeck]

and I drove up Richard gear. American jingle.

[Danny Kelly]

It was the best.

[Craig Horlebeck]

That's awesome.

[Danny Kelly]

Jackie had never been. And I was like, we're driving. So we just did the pch, you know, through Malibu. All that stuff is the best. And it's like, it was amazing. But also there's a certain magic when you're close to the person getting married, but when you're. When you're a groomsman, you're kind of in charge of. You have nothing to do, but you're also kind of in charge of vibes. Yeah, you're kind of like. Like, anything that happens, you have to do. You're in charge of it. But when you're, like, kind of close enough, but you're not close enough to be a groomsman, it's kind of like, man, like, we can just do whatever the fuck we want. Like, we're free. It's great. And like, yeah, it's. It's. Yeah, it's fun.

[Danny Hifers]

Absolutely.

[Danny Kelly]

All right, so thank you guys for coming to my wedding. Thank you to Jackie for being the love of my life and not being that mad when I lost my ring ever so briefly. I misplaced it briefly, you know, when I.

[Craig Horlebeck]

We did the Rewatchables cold weather tour, where we did. Did four rewatchables on the east coast in five nights, which, looking back on it, is insane. We did Chicago, D.C. philly, New York in five nights. So we would, like, do a show, go to bed, wake up, fly to dc, do the show, go to bed, wake up. And I was in D.C. can you take the train from D.C. to Philly?

[Danny Kelly]

Yes.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yes. I was in D.C. we did a show. I took my ring off because I remember, because it happened at the train station, and I couldn't remember the city. I took my ring off to go to bed. Bed. Woke up in my DC Hotel. Left the hotel, went to the train station. The train arrived. I put my hand on my other hand. Oh, my God. I left my ring. I. So I literally, like, sprinted out, called an Uber, called the hotel, on the way, went back home. I've obviously, I missed my train. They had the ring, and I ended up figuring out I got to Philly on time and it was all fine, but it was then that I was like, I will never take my ring off on the road ever again.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, that's how I feel. All right, well, thank you, guys. Thank you to Carlos and CT and Austin and Abu, and there's, like, so many. We're in the Sycamore Studios, and there's, like, so many people here. Thank you to everyone here. Thank you again. Shout out to Muni. Shout out to Fathom Gallery in dc. Shout out to Liz, my wedding planner. If you need wedding people in dc, hit me up. Liz Allen, Weddings by Liz. Amazing. And shout out. My photographer, Mike, and then Mitch, videographer. They did amazing.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Sure.

[Danny Kelly]

And the whole squad. Yeah. Hank's Oyster Bar. Thank you, Nate. Thank you. My efficient fist was the greatest. Efficient.

[Danny Hifers]

He nailed it.

[Danny Kelly]

He was amazing.

[Danny Hifers]

He was really good.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. Like, he actually, like, I Was sitting in the middle of him, like, this is my wedding. This is sick.

[Danny Hifers]

He kind of mocked you. He mocked you as a host.

[Danny Kelly]

He did? Yeah, he did. He's like Jackie's friend from.

[Danny Hifers]

He host maxed.

[Danny Kelly]

He was amazing joke.

[Craig Horlebeck]

He made you put your left hand in.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, my God. I couldn't. Why am I boring?

[Craig Horlebeck]

What's the name of that song? The Hokey Pokey.

[Danny Hifers]

Pokey Pokemon tricked us into doing the Hokey Pokey during the.

[Danny Kelly]

He like, Rick rolled you. It was like Norm MacDonald, like, level, like four minute commitment to a bit. And I was like, I just. I would never have had the confidence to try that. He did amazing. He also said love is. People call marriage like work. And he's like, it's actually volunteering. Because, like, volunteering is like a lot of work. You have to do it every day, but it's actually fulfilling. Like, I thought that was actually really, like, profound. I was like, yeah, it's not work. It's like you volunteer every day to do something. Stuff.

[Danny Hifers]

Yeah, that is.

[Danny Kelly]

And it leaves you with like a actual warmth. Okay.

[Danny Hifers]

He killed it.

[Danny Kelly]

It's a lot of that. Thank you, everyone, for listening to this draft. And also about my wedding. But of course, for all the guys

[Craig Horlebeck]

out there, don't get divorced. And the wives, all of them don't get divorced. Figure out how to watch football in an equitable way.

[Danny Hifers]

I thought that was like, your marriage advice. Don't get divorced.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Well, unless you want to. I don't know.

[Danny Kelly]

Sometimes, you know, Sometimes.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Sometimes it's better that way, I suppose.

[Danny Kelly]

Sometimes. Whatever works. Thank you, Lord, Lord.

[Danny Hifers]

Thank you, House of Pain.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I was so glad I found you for Jump Around. Yeah.

[Danny Hifers]

One of my favorite memories of the after party was Jump Around.

[Craig Horlebeck]

It was good, that song.

[Danny Hifers]

I was like, this is. This is for my generation. Let's do this. And everyone else is like, I've never heard this song.

[Danny Kelly]

That I also found this song. I'm just kidding.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Come on.

[Danny Kelly]

For the. Oh, now I'm blanking with the wedding song. That's the beginning. The Wedding Crashers montage song.

[Danny Hifers]

Oh, yeah. Shout, Shout.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, Shout.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Damn. Feel like I. I guess you're what's funny. I feel like. I guess younger people do know that from Wedding Crashers and not Animal House.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. I think.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I guess Wedding Crushers is the wedding.

[Danny Kelly]

I mean, I hate to say it, but it's 30 years later.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yeah. I mean, Animal House isn't a wedding, but I. Yeah. Interesting, right?

[Danny Kelly]

Isn't it? 76 random.

[Craig Horlebeck]

78. Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

When it crashed, what, 2006.

[Danny Hifers]

Wow.

[Danny Kelly]

30 years.

[Craig Horlebeck]

And it is a wedding. But I. It's crazy how much that stuck. Yeah, that. Like a staple I have. I cannot remember a wedding I've been to where Shout is not played.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, I was gonna say, did it actually go up after that, or has it always been that way?

[Craig Horlebeck]

You mean since Wedding Crashes or Animal House? Since Wedding Crashers had to have gone up.

[Danny Kelly]

I think so.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I wonder if it happened at weddings after Animal House or if the wedding thing was just from Wedding Crashers.

[Danny Kelly]

I don't think brides were looking at Animal House to be like this.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Maybe the bros, though.

[Danny Kelly]

The bros, maybe.

[Danny Hifers]

No, the wet. The Shout was not invented from Wedding Crashers.

[Danny Kelly]

No, it was like, the most popular.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Animal House is like, the introduction into, like, the way the crowd reacts and getting on the floor and the whole thing. But I don't know if that translated to weddings after Animal House or after Wedding Crashers.

[Danny Kelly]

What day is this show coming out? Did the rewatchables for Animal House come out today?

[Craig Horlebeck]

It'll have come out that night. So. So. And I don't know if Bill's announced it yet, so I don't.

[Danny Kelly]

He said it on the show. That's how I know about it.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Oh, great. Then, yes. We're doing Animal House.

[Danny Kelly]

We learn about stuff.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yeah. So then our episode will come out like 12 hours before animal House.

[Danny Kelly]

All right. Oh, right. Thank you, Laura. No, I did.

[Danny Hifers]

We did that.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Okay.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Are they One Hit Wonder?

[Danny Hifers]

I think so.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Wow.

[Danny Kelly]

That's a sneaky good pick for One Hit Wonder.

[Craig Horlebeck]

It is.

[Danny Kelly]

I don't think of them that way.

[Craig Horlebeck]

I'm sure there's somebody's gonna be like, how dare you forget.

[Danny Hifers]

Celebrate their entire collection.

[Danny Kelly]

It's like when I was like, Rod Stewart, is he, like, popular? And he's like, he has the largest,

[Danny Hifers]

literally, of the human earth.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Yeah. Oh, no. I mean, jump around. 756 million plays the next song. 23 million. Top of the morning to you.

[Danny Kelly]

And a lot of those might be legacy. Yeah, that's probably.

[Danny Hifers]

It's like we accidentally left it on play and then it went to the next song.

[Craig Horlebeck]

It's like when. Like, the show after the super bowl always has really high ratings.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. When they brag about that, I'm like, cbs is true.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Cracker is the number one show in America.

[Danny Kelly]

That's just. I always laugh when they do that.

[Danny Hifers]

It's just smart, though.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Smart.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Craig Horlebeck]

They need to put us on after this.

[Danny Kelly]

That was gonna say. And then we'll be like.

[Danny Hifers]

Yeah, yeah. Who do we gotta talk to?

[Craig Horlebeck]

We gotta follow up. Yeah. On Netflix.

[Danny Kelly]

Get your boy Ted.

[Craig Horlebeck]

My boy Ted. Hey, Ted.

[Danny Kelly]

Had him on the town.

[Craig Horlebeck]

Can you put us after Stranger Things finale? Push us for no reason.

[Danny Hifers]

Yeah, you know, shoot or shoot.

[Craig Horlebeck]

That's true. I'll text him. I don't have his number.

[Danny Hifers]

That's true.

[Danny Kelly]

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