Week 11 Recap: The Ugly Eagles, Darnit Darnold, J.J. McCantThrow, Spitgate Pt. 2, and Macaulay Culkin’s Pizza Band

Summary

The Ringer Fantasy Football Show

Episode: Week 11 Recap: The Ugly Eagles, Darnit Darnold, J.J. McCantThrow, Spitgate Pt. 2, and Macaulay Culkin’s Pizza Band
Hosts: Danny Heifetz (“Hyperson”), Danny Kelly, Craig Horlbeck
Date: November 17, 2025

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Episode Overview

This week’s episode recaps a wild, often ugly Week 11 NFL slate and what it means for fantasy football. Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly and Craig Horlbeck break down messy prime-time games, disastrous QB performances, the Eagles’ python-like grip on wins, fantasy “burn book” candidates, breakout RBs, controversial officiating (“Spitgate Pt. 2”), and end with their notorious “Fart or Shart” and “Intrusive Thoughts” segments. Memorable moments also include diatribes about the state of Sunday/Monday night football, a debate on Chiefs’ playoff chances, and diversions into food tech, odd player names, and Macaulay Culkin’s Velvet Underground-themed pizza band.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Ugly Primetime Games & Officiating Controversy

• Eagles 16, Lions 9

  • Hosts bemoan the lackluster quality and entertainment value.
    • “I don't know how this game was close…It felt like the Lions were losing by 20 the whole time.” — Danny Heifetz [01:08]
  • The game was overshadowed by a “phantom” pass interference call that gave the Eagles the win.
    • “That was horrific, the worst call, maybe one of the worst primetime calls I can remember.” — Danny Kelly [02:17]
    • “If that's the call they don’t get right, then what is the point of replay?” — Craig [06:06]

• Replay and Refereeing Rant [03:12–07:54]

  • Frustration over inconsistency with “expedited replay.”
  • Is the NFL trying to protect referees from looking bad? Is the process too arbitrary?
  • "Sometimes, people in Gotham hate Batman…" — Danny Heifetz on NFL Command Center swooping in [04:14]
  • “Collinsworth should get one expedited replay button a game." — Craig [06:51]

• Prime-Time Woes Continue

  • “Here are the last five Sunday night football games...All been terrible. Five weeks, we've had nothing. I'm ready for the playoffs.” — Craig [07:12]

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2. Are Any Top NFC Contenders Actually Better? [07:57]

• Hosts debate if ANY NFC team is truly “better” than last year:
  • General consensus: Rams maybe, Eagles feel like a "worse version," almost everyone else has regressed.
    • “The Eagles are just a worse version of what they were last year, but so are all these other teams in the NFC other than the Rams.” — Danny Heifetz [09:00]
  • Lions' struggles to convert in key situations called out; heavy wind used as an excuse for 4th down decisions.
  • “Dan Campbell was a mess…going for it all game, then punts with five minutes left. You’re essentially ending the game.” — Craig [09:38]

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3. Eagles: “Python Mode” & Tush Push Fatigue [14:00]

• Eagles win with conservative, suffocating football; “Tush Push” continues to draw scorn.
  • “The Eagles suffocate you…It’s not cool to watch a snake just crush an animal for three hours. That’s what the Eagles are.” — Danny Heifetz [14:31]
• AJ Brown called out for low effort despite heavy targets; officially burned in the “burn book.”
  • “It’s infuriating to see you not trying when they’re TRYING to feed you the ball.” — Danny Heifetz [16:19]
• Collinworth’s rare on-air criticism cited as a “oh wow, it’s that bad” moment. [06:06]
• Eagles ripped for being “so boring”; Tush Push theater derided, consensus = off primetime.

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4. Quarterback Carnage: Most Disappointing & Most Redeeming [20:24+]

Loser QBs:

• Lamar Jackson: Worst fantasy day ever (4 points).
  • “It’s dead last. He doesn’t have any juice…Now he has a career-low rushing yards per game of 32.” — Craig [21:32]
• Sam Darnold: 4 picks in a 2-point loss:
  • “He single-handedly lost the Seahawks this game…This is always the worry with Sam Darnold.” — Danny Kelly [25:14]
• J.J. McCarthy: Bears win but he looks lost.
  • “He doesn’t have the freaky traits, or the ‘knows what he’s doing’ factor…It’s over.” — Craig [62:50]

Winner QB: Josh Allen

• 6 Total TDs, single-game fantasy best of 2025 (42.6 pts)—“He’s like a runaway train of fantasy points.” [46:18]
• Did it despite a horrible early pick: “He started standing in his own end zone, chest to the defense, like he was spotting the Bucs points to start.” — Danny Heifetz [46:19]
• Bills run defense gashed, but Allen unfazed

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5. Fantasy Heroes & Zeroes

Cooking:

• Josh Allen (see above)
• Sean Tucker (Bucs): Top RB of the week, “No one played him, but he exploded” [51:17]
• Travion Henderson (Pats): “We fucking did it, boys!” — Craig on his three-TD breakout [53:02]
• Bryce Young (Panthers): “So back” after 448 yards against ATL [55:54]
• Christian Watson (Packers): “He flashed, super explosive, the only way they can move the chains right now.” — Kelly [72:54]
• Trey McBride (Cards): quietly one of the best PPR TEs

Burn Book:

• AJ Brown (finally!) for effort; “I have to put AJ Brown on the board—he’s like a fantasy terrorist.” — Danny Heifetz [16:11]
• Recap of all previous Burn Book-ees (Mark Andrews, Calvin Ridley, Tony Pollard, etc.) [15:53]

It’s So Over:

• JJ McCarthy, Jalen Hyatt (for sabotaging the Giants, and being kept over Lil’Jordan Humphrey for PR)

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6. Chiefs Crisis & AFC Playoff Picture [34:21+]

• Broncos and Boot-and-Rally Bo nix Chiefs; Chiefs now risk missing playoffs

  • “After years of invincibility...the shine is off.” — Kelly [35:32]
  • "Do we put an asterisk on the Super Bowl if KC doesn't make the playoffs?" [37:54]
  • Question debated: If you had to pick Chiefs vs. Patriots, Bills, Broncos, etc.—who do you actually trust?
  • “Andy Reid doesn’t have his fastball anymore…Nothing looks easy, nothing looks fun.” — Heifetz [39:11]

• Changing of the Guard:

  • “It’s like 2005 all over again.”
  • Patriots, Broncos, Colts and Steelers trending toward their old dynastic ways.

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7. Defenses Dominate, Offenses Struggle

• General feeling: Top teams are all defense-first (Eagles, Broncos, Rams, etc.)
  • “When good teams play one another, these games are slogs—it’s all the defenses.” — Craig [41:40]
• Despite analytics showing top-5-scoring year, feels like “defense is back.”

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8. Spitgate Pt. 2 & Weird Moments

• Jalen Ramsey punches Jamar Chase after being spit on; "atmospheric river of loogie."

  • “Is spitting one of the most disrespectful things somebody can do? ‘It is. It’s what pussies do, quite honestly.’” — Jalen Ramsey [67:54]

• More “Icks” and intrusive thoughts:

  • Gross use of hand spit on gloves post big play
  • Announcers using football terminology that becomes sexualized, “Get-off,” “ride the receiver,” “hook up” [98:09+]
  • Clock/refs favoring drama: delay of game calls ignored in key spots (“I believe in my bones they favor drama.” — Craig [85:42])

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9. America’s Favorite Segment: Fart or Shart

• Justin Herbert’s 3-point, 81-yard disaster “the worst game of his career.”
  • “I don’t think this team can do anything in the playoffs…so in that regard, yeah it’s a shart.” — Craig [76:16]

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10. Fringe and Fun

• Fantasy Court: Should the Giants have kept Lil’Jordan over Jalen Hyatt?
• Macaulay Culkin’s Pizza Underground: The band parodies Velvet Underground songs with pizza lyrics [124:05]
• “Clark Hogback” — If Craig ever makes an adult film, that’s his stage name

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the Eagles: "The Eagles are a python…not even cool. Just squeeze the life out of you." — Heifetz [14:31]
• On NFL Primetime: “We’re forced. It’s in front of our face every other week all season…We have to watch this.” — Craig [14:01]
• On Darnold: "He short circuits at the worst time. That’s always gonna be a part of his DNA." — Kelly [25:14]
• On Chiefs: “Andy Reid just doesn’t have his fastball anymore.” — Heifetz [39:11]
• On QB Despair: “All of the quarterbacks except Josh Allen got destroyed today…easy way to tell what kind of fantasy day it is: look at all the red in your league.” — Craig [20:24]
• On ‘Get-Off’ and Football Sexualization: "Normalize fast get-offs…celebrate it, but not too soon.” — Kelly/Heifetz/Craig riff [99:51–100:11]
• On Replay/Refs: “Can’t we just get the fucking calls right?” — Kelly [06:56]
• On Shador Sanders: “Turning 10-yard sacks into 20-yard sacks.” — Craig [102:40]
• On Mark Andrews ‘fake tush push’ play: “Maybe we have to keep this [tush push] because the Mark Andrews thing was like the first genetic mutation of this goddamn play.” — Heifetz [94:50]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Eagles-Lions/Replay Controversy: 01:08 – 07:54
• State of Primetime Games: 07:12 – 07:56
• NFC Contender Debate: 07:57 – 11:10
• Eagles "Python" Play & Tush Push: 14:00 – 18:50
• Fantasy "Burn Book"/AJ Brown: 15:41 – 16:49
• QB Carnage (Lamar/Darnold): 20:24 – 31:09
• Chiefs-Broncos & AFC Playoffs: 34:21 – 40:44
• Defenses Take Over: 41:11 – 44:11
• Who's Cooking (Fantasy stars): 45:12 – 55:23
• “It’s So Over / So Back”: 55:23 – 64:51 (esp. JJ McCarthy [61:50], Bryce Young [55:23])
• Spitgate Pt. 2/Jalen Ramsey/Jamar Chase: 66:03 – 68:06
• America's Favorite Segment – Fart or Shart: 73:09 – 77:59 (Herbert debate starts 75:40)
• Announcers & Terminology: 98:09 – 101:08
• Clark Hogback, Pizza Underground, and outro riffs: 122:08 – 128:46

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Flow & Tone

• Classic "Ringer" blend: irreverent, self-aware, loaded with references and running gags.
• Conversational, often vulgar (lots of f-bombs), with tangents to food, pop culture.
• Hosts are as cynical about the league’s product as they are obsessed with fantasy minutiae.
• Quotes range from wonky NFL stat breakdowns to surreal riffs about lactase, woodworking, or atmospheric loogies.

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For Listeners Who Missed It

This episode covers big NFL storylines (Eagles’ ugly dominance, damaging QB disasters, Chiefs in real playoff peril) and the fantasy fallout—arguing over panic vs patience, promoting and torching players, and calling out the NFL for poor officiating and stale primetime matchups. It’s loaded with comedic rants, obscure player name giggles, and segments that go hilariously off the rails. If you’re looking for a sharp, funny, and real-time take on where the league, and your fantasy team, stands heading into Thanksgiving, this is a must-listen. For pure football insight or to catch every in-joke and memorable quote, the timestamps above are your entry points.

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Additional Segments & Easter Eggs

• Best Play: Mark Andrews’ fake tush push [93:50]
• Ick of the Week: Players spitting in their hands, sideline Jersey swaps gone awry [90:55]
• Intrusive Thoughts: “Do refs and clocks favor drama?” [85:17]
• Announcer critique: Tony Romo butchering “Spagnuolo” [98:14]
• Best Pun (punter): Ethan Evans, Rams, “possibly the best punt ever” [95:54]
• Weirdest Team: Cardinals declared “most irrelevant” [60:06]
• Parents mispronouncing words like ‘Nextflix’ [111:49]
• Pop culture tangents: Macaulay Culkin, Velvet Underground, Weird Al

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Email: [e-mail] for trivia, “Fantasy Court,” dad stories, etc.

Transcript

[Danny Kelly]

Foreign.

[Danny Hyperson]

Welcome to the Ringer Fantasy Football Show. My name is Danny Hyperson. I'm joined by Danny Kelly Worldbeck and we are going over all the games from Sunday of week 11 of the NFL season. Yeah, gonna go through. Honestly. Pretty horrific day for the Seahawks. Horrific in a less memorable way for the Giants. Pretty good day for you the Steelers.

[Danny Kelly]

Craig.

[Danny Hyperson]

Bunch of great games. We learned a lot, right? Craig?

[Craig]

We learned so much. Today was really educational for us, I would say.

[Danny Hyperson]

Yeah, we're going to go through everything. Also, we have to get to the Sunday football game, but first we're going to take a quick break. This episode is presented by Chime Bank Smarter. This season, fantasy football is all about strategy. Well, here's a winning strategy for your money Trade banking fees for fee free banking, 1.5% cash back getting paid when you say and a higher APY on your savings. That's a lineup that wins. Stop banking the old way. Bank Smarter through Chime Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services and the secured Chime Visa credit card provided by the Bancor Bank NA or Stride Bank NA members FDIC optional services and products may have fees or charges [e-mail] fees info with a qualifying direct deposit earn 1.5% cash back on eligible secured Chime Visa credit card purchases. APY means annual percentage yield. Learn [e-mail] Starting with Sunday football, which just ended, Eagles won 16 to 9 over the Lions. There was a lot to say about this game, but honestly I don't know how you feel. Dk. I think it was completely overshadowed by that last play where they called. I don't know how this game was close enough that it was a seven point game. @ the end. It felt like the Lions were losing by 20 the whole time. It somehow was a seven point game, right? And the Eagles are incomplete on third down and they should punt the ball back of the line should get a chance to tie the game even if they kind of played terribly and had five turnover on downs. And then they call this phantom pass interference. And I feel like that overshadowed everything else that happened in the game.

[Danny Kelly]

I don't know how it was being rigged in terms of like who benefits from this other than just the Eagles winning the game. But yeah, that was a horrific, the worst call, like maybe one of the worst primetime calls I can remember.

[Danny Hyperson]

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[Danny Kelly]

Just absolutely obviously not a foul. This is what makes me so mad about not having replay in certain scenarios and not being able to use the. It's like just get the plays right. Just get the calls right.

[Danny Hyperson]

Even that one, though, they should have the expedited replay. The whole point of expedited replay play is when there's a flag on the field when it's obvious they're supposed to be able to pick it up. I think in that one, I think they were almost scared to do it because it was such a big play. But that is what expedited replay is supposed to fix. It's things that are obviously at first glance, completely wrong. They're supposed to be able to change.

[Danny Kelly]

I was pretty excited to see Jared Goff go two for his final 22 passes instead of two for his final 18 passes. But we'll never get to see that now.

[Danny Hyperson]

Yeah, they were gonna call it.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Craig]

Is that. Is there any data on whether expedited replays use more or less in the final two minutes? Because you might be right. If it's. Maybe they don't want to make the rest look bad by overturning an important call. And with a minute left in the.

[Danny Kelly]

Game, why do we care about making the refs look.

[Danny Hyperson]

It's not about they look horrible. No, it's not about the refs looking bad. It's about. The problem is when you have the ability to do instant replay and the central command center has the ability to overturn a call, sometimes you're like, oh, this is Batman swooping down and fixing it. But sometimes people in Gotham fucking hate Batman. And so like the idea that, well, you can be selective about, well, which calls do they change and when. And the idea, like the fact that they have that power to kind of swoop in and change it. Sometimes people get really cynical about it. So even though they. They like, they. It always comes back to that. Like the Ram Saints call where they had the pass interference. That was crazy. They didn't call and they should have been able to just change the call even though everyone can see it, but the rest just missed it. But when you have this ability to just. Some things are reviewable only when we notice them with enough cameras in prime time and we happen to be paying attention, and we notice it in 20 seconds before they start the next episode.

[Craig]

I don't understand what you're saying.

[Danny Kelly]

That doesn't track for me either, or.

[Craig]

I don't know what you're saying. Are you saying that, are you saying New York missed it? Like, the expedited replay? They missed it or not?

[Danny Hyperson]

I don't know. I'm saying that, like, I think that the one concern they may have is that if you just start changing shit, people are like, what's the criteria? And the truth is they don't necessarily have one. They're doing their best because during the 1 o' clock windows, it's hard to keep track of every play in every game at the same time. The primetime ones get more treatment of the expedited replay.

[Craig]

But then why didn't they make the call?

[Danny Hyperson]

I don't fucking know. That was insane. I have no idea.

[Craig]

Okay? I was trying to find, I was trying to see if there was any, like, under the radar reason, any, like, deeper reason that we could kind of get into as to why they wouldn't do this call, make this call overturn.

[Danny Hyperson]

I honestly would understand watching because the game sucks. I don't know. That was the worst. I, I, that was one of the worst calls.

[Craig]

I agree, dk. I'm like, what, what is the point of all of this if that's the call they don't get, right? Like, they make like they overturn some dumb first, you know, first quarter call. That's like less significant. That was the most important play of the game and they didn't get it. Every single person at home was pissed. Chris Collinsworth, you know, it's bad. Usually the commentators are. If they don't agree with the wishy washy, they go, oh, you know, I don't know about that one. Collinsworth was just like, oh, my God, that's the worst call I've seen all year. I know.

[Danny Kelly]

Aikman would have been like, well, I don't know. That was, that wasn't very good.

[Craig]

But no, Aikman would have been like, fuck these guys.

[Danny Hyperson]

He used to. Aikman doesn't care anymore.

[Danny Kelly]

But yes, I, I totally agree. I almost said the exact same thing, Craig. I'm like, when Collinsworth is like, saying, that is terrible.

[Craig]

Come on, father.

[Danny Hyperson]

Honestly, Lincoln Collinsworth never.

[Craig]

I think Collinsworth should get one expedited replay button a game and he gets to hit the button.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. Everybody complains about this slippery slope thing where it's like, we can't be reviewing everything. I'm like, can't we just get the fucking calls right? Like, why can't we do that?

[Danny Hyperson]

No, I agree with you guys. I don't know why they have expedited replay. That's like the situation, right? It's bizarre.

[Craig]

It would have been the only thing that saved us from, once again, another terrible primetime game. I would like to. Can I. Before we get into this game a little bit more. Can I read you guys the last five weeks of NFL primetime? Here are the last five Sunday night football games. Eagles, Lions, terrible. Steelers, Chargers, horrible. Seahawks, Commanders, garbage. Packers, Steelers, ugly. Nasty game. Niners, Falcons, terrible. Here are the last five Monday Night Footballs. Eagles, Packers. Last week was just excruciating. Before that, Cowboys, Cardinals, Terrible game. Before that. Chiefs, Commanders, terrible game. Before that. Double header. Lions, Bucks sucked. The Lions won big. Seahawks, Texans, terrible. The Seahawks were up early. It's been five weeks. We've had nothing. We've had nothing. I'm ready for the playoffs.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Craig]

That's where I'm at right now.

[Danny Hyperson]

It's funny you say that, because I was thinking about that, about the playoffs last year, and we've come back around to. I mean, the Eagles and the Rams, just like last year, were like, those are the best two teams in the nfc. I guess I just feel like this. I guess. How many teams do you think are better than they were last year that are. That are contenders?

[Craig]

Oh, that's a good question. Well, there's, like, for. They're fringe contenders, right? Like the Bears and things like that. The Patriots.

[Danny Hyperson]

The Bears are not a contender. They're a playoff. Playoff contender. The Bears. I mean, super. How many teams that could feasibly win the super bowl do you think are better than they were last year?

[Danny Kelly]

The Colts.

[Danny Hyperson]

Sure, but that's.

[Craig]

The Patriots.

[Danny Hyperson]

Sure, but. Okay, but that's my point. The Patriots had a Seahawks. Bill's mad the Patriots didn't get the first pick in the draft.

[Craig]

Seahawks, I think the. Are the Rams better this year? I think the Rams.

[Danny Hyperson]

I think the Rams are the only one. But if you look around the nfc, the Eagles, Eagles. Fans get so mad whenever the Chiefs.

[Craig]

Are better this year, but they're five and five.

[Danny Hyperson]

I was gonna say they're five and five. The Chiefs probably are, but they're just probably better.

[Craig]

The Steelers are better this year. Maybe they're not.

[Danny Hyperson]

But even the Bills, I think the Bills are worse. The Bills touched the matrix again today, and you kind of remembered, oh, yeah, this is what they were like last, last year, you're like, oh yeah, that was cool. But just generally speaking, I do feel like, like the Eagles are a perfect example where the defense is getting better. But I'm like the Eagles are just a worse version of what they were last year, but so are all these other teams in the NFC other than the Rams.

[Craig]

The Eagles defense has really turned up the heat the last few weeks and look really, really, really good. I, I have not seen the line so discombobulated in my life under Dan Campbell.

[Danny Kelly]

This was Jared Goff's worst game and.

[Craig]

It was Dan Campbell. I thought Dan Campbell was a mess. Dan Campbell was all over the place. Like him going for all these fourth downs in the middle of the game, like fourth and longs not getting any of them in the, in the red zone. And then at the end he punts.

[Danny Hyperson]

That was weird.

[Craig]

With five minutes left. I'm like you've been going for it the whole game and now you punt. You're essentially ending the game.

[Danny Hyperson]

I don't. It was funny because the lines turned it over and downs five times in the second and third quarter and I kind of got it because all they were all midfield field goal is range. But if you saw the warmups before the field goals were doing the, the. The. The. The wind kicks were doing things I've never seen before. They were take. They looked like slices on a golf course.

[Craig]

Doing tricks on it.

[Danny Hyperson]

For sure they were doing tricks on it. But then the. Jake Bates actually kicked the field goal at the end and it was straight and I was kind of like oh man, all those turnovers and downs look kind it now.

[Craig]

Yeah, it's funny how many kicks were actually missed tonight?

[Danny Kelly]

One.

[Danny Hyperson]

Yeah, like I'm kind of like man if they just made those field goals they probably would have fun. Dk, what did you. What do you make of the Eagles? Because the def. I mean Makuba the safety, Cooper Dean Mitchell, the secondary seems unbelievable. The defensive line, Jordan. It just the. The play. Jordan Davis batting the most passes of any player this season or tied for it. While Jalen Phillips somehow just of course now he's healthy for the Eagles and just having crashing down and just something about Jordan Davis and Jalen Carter just destroying Jared Goff as first round picks when Cooper De Jean is just like catching interception and I'm like all these guys are just first round picks. They are second round picks that the Eagles have landed and I feel like this is become. This to me felt like the fifth best defense like the Eagles have joined. They're Probably a little below the Broncos, Texans, Seahawks. But the Eagles probably, to me, probably have a fourth or fifth best defense in the league right now.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, I mean, they have, you know, real dudes at every level, which is obviously helpful. Like the off the defensive line stuff. They can just dominate the game when those guys are all on. But also, I think. And we bet on the Lions for some freaking reason, I think we completely forgot about that. Yeah, that was terrible.

[Craig]

That was horrific, by the way. We'll just get ahead of it now. We. We absolutely got.

[Danny Hyperson]

We got.

[Craig]

We went over 5 disaster. Just a mess.

[Danny Kelly]

But we forgot about the whole golf on the road outside.

[Danny Hyperson]

Yeah, I can't. I don't know who thought, you know.

[Craig]

It was a sign we couldn't decide on any games to pick. And now we know why. Because today was a mess.

[Danny Kelly]

But yeah, Goff. This was the worst I've seen Goff. I feel like since maybe his rookie season, he just looked. He could. I legitimately didn't look like he knew how to throw a football. He could not throw football.

[Danny Hyperson]

He was baby hand.

[Danny Kelly]

I think at one point he was two of his last 18 passes, and none of them, like. It wasn't like. They were all hard passes. He just couldn't hit.

[Danny Hyperson]

He was getting the shit kicked out of him. But to your larger point, dk, I.

[Danny Kelly]

Agree, was coming off his hand all weird.

[Danny Hyperson]

You know what the game looked like, for God, it looked like on his right hand, it looked like when Vic Fangio, when he was with the Bears, it looked like that game that he completely changed the rims offense in like 2018 and sent basically the game that ended up sending golf packing from McVeigh and the Rams in the first place. Like, it really. Like that was. It really, to me, was the second worst game I've ever seen golf play. Other than that, which was also like Monday to football.

[Danny Kelly]

It was rough. But I mean, obviously you got to give credit to the Eagles too. But yeah, I mean, the golf.

[Danny Hyperson]

We could choose not to.

[Danny Kelly]

The golf in. In cold weather, on the road thing, we completely forgot about that. And that's an actual real thing. I mean, just look at the numbers in his career. Um, I think Solak tweeted out the stats. It's like he's passing for less than 60% completions in his career when it's 50 degrees or less on the road, which is just like. That's not even that high of a bar. Like 50 degrees. Come on. Anyway. But yeah, I think the Eagles, again on offense were just the most boring Team to watch in the world. The tush push thing. There was one point in the early part of the game where they. On third and one, they just decided to run a normal play. And I was like, they just know. They're like, we're on prime time again. We can't fucking keep running this tush push, and we're going to lose this. And also, by the way, someone pointed this out, the Lions actually did not vote to ban the tush push. So I felt like that was just like a little hat tip to the Lions. Hey, thanks. Thanks for that.

[Danny Hyperson]

Have I not been as aggressive defending the tush push as anyone being like, look, I hate that the Eagles win, and I hate. The Eagles are cool, too. And let's just be honest, everyone's mad that they won the super bowl with the stupid play, and you're just jealous and you don't know how to stop it. So you're just mad and tilting. I've been tonight. I was just like, man, I'm so ready for this to be over. Because they called the false start when.

[Danny Kelly]

The guy was putting his hand, like, the neutral zone.

[Danny Hyperson]

Something. Yeah, please, please. The Tyler Steen pointing this hand in the neutral zone, and we're talking about whose hand is there. I'm like, God, I'm ready.

[Craig]

There's a solution. Just get them off prime time, right? If they're doing this in the afternoon slate, no one cares.

[Danny Kelly]

No one notices.

[Craig]

Wait till the playoffs, and then it's like, they play a good team, and then the game matters more. And then it's an interesting. It's just we're forced. It's in front of our face like, every other week, all season. We have to watch this. We have no other choice.

[Danny Hyperson]

You know why?

[Craig]

Because, like, the meme of the guy holding the lady's eyes open, making this look at the dish bush.

[Danny Hyperson]

Look at it.

[Craig]

It says 130 passing yards every game, and they win 13 to 10. It's excruciating.

[Danny Hyperson]

The Eagles are like. You know, it's funny. Some people like animal videos, you know? And, like, some people are into watching, like, snakes kill something or whatever. But the difference is the Eagles are a fucking python or boa constrictor, whatever.

[Craig]

Like, the Eagles suffocate you.

[Danny Hyperson]

Not cool to watch a snake just suffocate and crush an animal for, like, three hours. And that is what the Eagles are. They just fucking squeeze the life out of you. And who can just watch that over and over?

[Craig]

I really. I oscillate back and forth between team AJ Brown and anti AJ Now I'm back to now AJ Brown. Guy I'm upset with. Three days ago when he was giving his quotes, playing on. When he was on Twitch, I was like, you know what? I get it. He just wants the offense to do well. Today he had 10 targets and he's still dogging routes. There was that deep ball, third and whatever, third and 15. It was a good throw. I think if he kept running, he would have caught it.

[Danny Hyperson]

It was great throw from Jaylen Herz and he just stopped running.

[Craig]

And it's like, it's not like that was his first target of the game. And you could have been like, oh, well, Jesus. I mean, he's been just running wind sprints all night, not getting targeted. That was like his 8 or 9th target of the game.

[Danny Hyperson]

It's infuriating that you're in prime time on Sunday Night Football. You just met with the owner, whatever, at practice five days ago, you agreed, like, you're getting, yeah, you're getting the ball. That was a great throw from Jaylen Herz. AJ Brown very much should have had like a 40 yard play on that one. I don't. I'm out on this guy and I'm doing something we've never done before.

[Craig]

It's like, it's over. We're so back. Every week I change.

[Danny Hyperson]

I'm doing something we've never done before. Burn book right now. Do you know we have not put A.J. brown in the burn book.

[Craig]

No, we have to.

[Danny Hyperson]

No, we have not. I have the list right now. I don't know how. This was D.J.

[Danny Kelly]

Morton last week.

[Danny Hyperson]

I don't know how this is possible. Week one is Jalen Waller. How is he not in there? Week two is Mark Andrews. Week three is Isaiah Pacheco. Week four is Calvin Ridley. Week five is Trayvon Henderson. Week six is Tony Pollard's. Week seven is Justin Fields. Week eight's Camara. Week nine was Jakar. Bill Merritt. Week 10, CG Moore. We have to put AJ Brown on the board.

[Craig]

Oh, my God. Of course.

[Danny Hyperson]

He's like a fantasy terrorist. It's unbelievable.

[Craig]

Yet. Oh, my God. I baffled my.

[Danny Kelly]

Feels like we have.

[Craig]

I agree.

[Danny Hyperson]

Anyway, I, I, I, I. No, tonight we're the last straw because I'm like, at some point you're the defending super bowl champions, and when they're trying to get you the ball, it's really annoying to see you not trying. It's really annoying.

[Craig]

And Collinsworth kind of mentioned it. He recognized it. I. It was very weird. It was very weird. Like Part of me is like, it's either Petullo or AJ Brown next year that one of the two are not.

[Danny Hyperson]

I think they're going to have to trade him. Like, he'll have to get his. Like, look, there are points and criticisms A.J. brown's had and, like, look, he's given a lot of quotes, but when he had the issues with the Eagles a year or two ago, he didn't say anything and people were mad that he wasn't talking. So now he's a little bit damned if you do, damned if you don't. But I. I can't believe how little effort there was at times tonight when I. I mean, it's infuriating, to be honest.

[Craig]

Very weird.

[Danny Kelly]

So I gotta say, watching this game felt a lot like watching the show alone, where the. The fat guy just sits in his hut all day, does nothing, lets his fat eat himself away, lets himself starve for eight weeks.

[Danny Hyperson]

Unbelievable.

[Danny Kelly]

However long, just tries to out starve everyone.

[Danny Hyperson]

Okay, let's get.

[Danny Kelly]

They just don't ever. Craig, I think you're talking about this. They don't ever take any risks. Everything they do is just, like, even chuck it up really deep. And.

[Craig]

Receiver, dude, he. Jalen hurts. Even makes his deep balls seem safe.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. Like, even though he passed down way past the defense.

[Danny Hyperson]

Yeah, dude, Dick is right about taking risk. You know what it's like?

[Danny Kelly]

It's.

[Danny Hyperson]

It's. The Eagles are like the most conservative. Like, in poker. There's a thing that, honestly, being really, really, really conservative in poker against building every hand, like in the line of rounders is like, if you win two hands an hour, you're gonna destroy people. Like, that's the Eagles. The Eagles win like two hands an hour. They win six plays. They win six plays a game.

[Craig]

Yeah, they're not going.

[Danny Kelly]

They're not. Yeah, they're not putting the ball at risk.

[Craig]

If you put the. If you put your hands at ten and two on the wheel and you go to speed limit, you'll never get a ticket.

[Danny Hyperson]

It's.

[Craig]

It's. And that's the Eagles philosophy.

[Danny Hyperson]

Oh, my God. I. But yeah, anyway, for it. Hate them.

[Craig]

What are they, nine and two?

[Danny Hyperson]

You know why? It's like, at least with the Dodgers or the warriors or these other dynasties do. At least.

[Craig]

It's kind of cool.

[Danny Hyperson]

We don't want to. We're not going to tell them that. But, like, it's cool. It's like the Eagles, they're not even cool. Like, I'm watching Jameer Gibbs and I'm like, wow, I remember when Saquon did cool shit. That was. I remember that. Gibbs was all over the place. Anyway, we can go move on here.

[Danny Kelly]

We.

[Craig]

We can't have them in the Super Bowl. We can't.

[Danny Hyperson]

It's gonna happen. Wrap your mind around it. Wrap your head around it. The Eagles are making super bowl again.

[Danny Kelly]

I'm not gonna worry about something that hasn't happened yet. We're not. They're not making it.

[Danny Hyperson]

It's like our main job.

[Craig]

Very wise of you. Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, it's.

[Craig]

What's the worst super bowl scenario? Eagles.

[Danny Hyperson]

Eagles, Chiefs. I've been telling you. Although they might not make the playoffs. We' the Chiefs might not be the Chiefs.

[Craig]

Three. I don't know. Three in a row is pretty fun. Or it's not. It's not three.

[Danny Hyperson]

Three out of four.

[Craig]

Three out of four.

[Danny Kelly]

It's not.

[Danny Hyperson]

It's not fun.

[Danny Kelly]

It's not at all.

[Danny Hyperson]

It's the worst. That's the worst thing is it's game we've seen twice before.

[Craig]

Maybe you're right.

[Danny Hyperson]

It's because Craig has convinced himself warriors cabs four years in a row is cool.

[Craig]

Well, the ratings suggest they were.

[Danny Hyperson]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Well also hiit. My job is not to worry that the Eagles are going to make the Super Bowl. I'm just not. I'm not going to worry about it is my point.

[Craig]

They probably tk text me at 3am he's like, hey dude, I can't make.

[Danny Hyperson]

The super bowl again anyway. All right, we're gonna get to the rest of the games here. Winners or losers? I want to just start with just the. The NFL sent out this email today. So they had this stat with one game remaining on Sunday and we can listen with Sunday with Monday football still to go, five teams today recorded the game winning score on the final play. Carolina, Chicago, Denver, Houston and Miami tied with for the most games ever in a day in end of history. And then also Ravens, Bills, Panthers, Broncos, Bears, Packers, Dolphins all ended up coming back in the fourth quarter and winning which is also just. It was a crazy day.

[Craig]

Scoring day. But yeah, it was a crazy day. Very suspenseful, a lot of close games.

[Danny Hyperson]

Totally low scoring suspense. With that said Craig, who is your biggest loser for the day?

[Craig]

Unfortunately I do think this is a day of losers more than winners. And I would say my loser broadly is all of the quarterbacks except Josh Allen who, I mean everybody got destroyed today. An easy way to tell like what kind of a fantasy day it is and like what, what the games were like is just go look at Your matchups in your league. And if it's red or green, the projections like today, it's mostly red. And man, all the, all the good quarterbacks, I mean, the fantasy totals today were so low. Drake May, which was Thursday, 15 points. Mahomes today 13, Stafford 13, Bo Nicks, 12, Caleb 10, Flacco nine points. Lamar Jackson, four points. Sam Darnold four points and Justin Herbert, three points. These are all like top 10 weekly, like bankable starters. And none of them were good. But if I think we should all pick kind of specifically like which quarterback we think deserves the most heat, I guess, at least from a fantasy perspective, my loser. Even though they won the game, I have to give it to Lamar. Like, they beat the Browns 23 to 16 today. They were down most of this game. This game was super ugly, super messy. Lamar had four fantasy points today. That is the worst performance of his career in fantasy. Dead last.

[Danny Kelly]

Really.

[Danny Hyperson]

Is that good?

[Craig]

It's dead last right now watching him. He's probably not healthy, but he doesn't have any juice. Like he doesn't run. He had 10 rushing yards today. Now he has a career low rushing yards per game of 32, which his previous low was 51. Now he's at 32. He has two design runs per game now, which is by far his career lowest. And you can feel it the most in the red zone. Like when this team gets within the 10, they can't score and particularly they can't run the ball. Derek Henry continues to get stuffed. He did get one in, but it's like one out of five works for Derek Henry. He's usually losing yards. And the threat of Lamar, like the RPO threat, it's not there. They're just not using it. And the numbers bear it out. The Ravens touchdown efficiency in the red zone this year is 29th. It's. It's only ahead of the Saints, the Texans and the Titans. And then the Ravens in the red.

[Danny Kelly]

Zone, like three of the worst.

[Danny Hyperson]

It's so funny.

[Danny Kelly]

And then the Ravens, it's just so.

[Danny Hyperson]

Funny to think that teams are having so much success with these big tight end sets like the Rams or the Seahawks are teams, I mean, obviously so there, but have been shredding all year with passing out of these. I mean, The Rams again, 20 touchdowns, no picks in the last four weeks, mostly out of three tight end sets. And the Ravens, who have been trying to do this to some degree for four or five years. Todd Monken, who even at Georgia had Brock Bowers and like Darnell Washington and like Like. Like just Todd Monk. It's thing has been two tight end sets to pass for years, and it's kind of weird, the Ravens spacing it. It's totally wrong in the red zone. Derek Henry. Is this the dictator statue toppling over? But I. I think. I mean, we have to. Lamar had a pick today that Mark Andrews is absolved between the tush push the. Keaton Mitchell, bless his heart, had one of the worst drops. You will see.

[Craig]

Is he still the best Ravens running back? Dk?

[Danny Kelly]

No, not after that.

[Danny Hyperson]

He just.

[Danny Kelly]

I got the ick after that. That was, like, horrific. He.

[Craig]

He.

[Danny Kelly]

Volleyball said it way higher than Mark.

[Danny Hyperson]

You joke all the time. Mark age is liable setting. Keaton Mitchell actually set the ball up.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Danny Hyperson]

And actually would have not looked out of place on a volleyball court. What he did, he just set it up, and then the Browns just caught it.

[Danny Kelly]

That was really rough.

[Danny Hyperson]

But, yeah, no, it was.

[Danny Kelly]

Take that back, Craig.

[Danny Hyperson]

There was a point where it really, really, really seemed like the Ravens were going to lose to Shador Sanders, which isn't what really would have happened, but that's what we all would have talked.

[Craig]

Yeah. And, like, look, I think you can look at it two ways. One, it's like the Ravens, there's. There's something systemically wrong with them, or it's like Lamar hasn't been healthy since he came back. He had the hamstring. Maybe he came back a week earlier than he should have. He had this knee thing. He missed a practice this week with the knee issue. And they just played at Minnesota and at Cleveland. Two awesome defenses that give Lamar fits. And their next four games are against the Jets, Bengals, Steelers, and Bengals.

[Danny Hyperson]

I agree. I think it's wise to not overreact because what you just said, I didn't think. The Browns defense is sick, and they're going to just rock the next. And they won the game, and it was ugly as hell. And they kind of did it everything. But they. Yeah, they did what they needed to.

[Craig]

Do, but it's like today was like the third highest sack rate he's ever had in his career. Like, it's. It's been. It's really bad because he's not. He's not scrambling. He's not working himself outside the pocket, and he's not bailing to run. He's not.

[Danny Hyperson]

It's not good.

[Craig]

4.

[Danny Hyperson]

But they won the game. They won the game. You know, it's funny about the 4 points. I think DK did that outscore Sam Darnold.

[Danny Kelly]

Just barely. Like, truly just barely.

[Craig]

They both had four.

[Danny Kelly]

Sam Darnold had a horrific day. Guys. All. All the cliches like you there you. If you just search seeing ghosts on Twitter, it's like probably a thousand tweets long of a result there. It's. It was really, really bad. He had four picks. He. He essentially he single handedly lost the Seahawks this game because the Seahawks defense against the Rams, they lost. Oh shoot. What was the final score they lost by.

[Craig]

They lost by 2.

[Danny Kelly]

2.

[Danny Hyperson]

Which is unbelievable in a game.

[Craig]

They had the ball and they could have won this game.

[Danny Hyperson]

Yeah, they lost 21 19.

[Danny Kelly]

They. They. 61 yard field goal. I think it was to. To at the. At the buzzer essentially. It was like a really long field goal.

[Craig]

Dk, does any part of you think Sam Darnold had four picks and they lost to the best team in the NFC by two points? Were. Okay.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, I was going to say like is it cope if I actually come away from that game like feeling okay? Like the def. Good job in LA at kind of not shutting down but limiting what the Rams could do. Just the fact that they were even in this game late in the game after giving the ball up four times. And look, these were not just arm punts where you're. You're pinning the. The Rams back. They. The Rams had touchdown drives of 3 yards and 25 yards and they had another one that where they really drove down the whole field. So that was like the Rams offense basically. Sam Darnold's mistakes cost the Seahawks this game. This is something that I think we talked about last week coming into this. It's like this is always the worry with Sam Darnold. This is always going to be a part of his DNA. He turns the ball over going back all the way to usc. That was his big thing. He's really physically talented. He's like a big time. He can make these big time froze but he short circuits at really bad times. And this is what he did last year for the Vikings.

[Craig]

He.

[Danny Kelly]

Darnold, believe it or not. Like I don't know if people realize this, he is actually tied for dead last in the NFL in turnovers. This year he has 14 turnovers which is tied with Tua for most in the NFL. He had 16 turnovers last year when turnovers were kind of a problem. And he has more turnovers than Geno Smith does this year, which is kind of crazy.

[Danny Hyperson]

How many of those in the last two weeks though? Like half of them.

[Danny Kelly]

He has 10 turnovers in the last four games.

[Danny Hyperson]

That's too many.

[Danny Kelly]

He had three turnovers last week in garbage time, which was like, fine because they were kicking the, the Cardinals asses. But, like, this is exactly what you worry about with Darnold, where things start to unravel. He starts to press. He did a fucking jump pass interception. And this like, he, he's, he's trying too hard to make a play, and he ends up short circuiting and making the worst decision possible. All four of his interceptions this game were his fault, I felt like. I think so anyway.

[Danny Hyperson]

The, the first one, I mean, the first one was like a back foot, like, pressured his face. Like, kind of like, just take a sack. And he just decided to try to rip a pass. And it was a mistake. It was a bad decision to throw it. The second one was, there was a stunt and there was like, unblocked pressure right in his face. And he just, a classic, like, just take a sack. Bad decision to try to throw it all. And then I wrote down Sam Darnold might be, it seems like the loser in this game. And then he threw two more interceptions. And I, I, I, it's too bad for him because the Rams are the team that just rocked him out of Minnesota like that, and it wasn't entirely his fault. Like, the Vikings offensive line, the interior offensive line allowed a lot of pressure to Darnold's face and he didn't handle it well. But here we are again where it's funny, because now this next Rams game they have in the regular season suddenly is going to have a lot of outsized importance, because if Darnold plays like.

[Craig]

That, we're going to learn a lot about those teams.

[Danny Hyperson]

We're going to learn a lot of those teams. But in all seriousness, it's, it's weird if Seattle ends up in a spot, a spot where it's like, Darnold is good enough that he can touch the matrix sometimes, and Donald's just like, clearly going to be incredible for stretches, but the team that has his number is in your division. It just seems bad. And it, you know, obviously you wonder if there's a ceiling in his play. I don't know. I don't want to take too much from it because I, I do think, I don't think it's crazy to say you threw four picks, you lost by two, because the Seattle defense was amazing in this game. The Rams had two great touchdown drives. They really didn't move the ball again after the first two Rams drives. Like, the Seattle defense was unbelievable in this game.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, that's, that's the big takeaway is, if you're trying to look for a silver lining in this game, if you're a Seahawks fan, it's that the Seahawks went toe to toe with like, Sam, With Matt Stafford, this really great offense, and they did really well. They like, held them when they needed to for the most part. Obviously, like I said, the turnovers gave them really short fields. Twice three yard drive and a 25 yard drive. Like, it's hard to win when you're doing that, but otherwise, the Seahawks did really well. Pressured, pressured Stafford a ton. They blitzed him a ton. They, they matched up. And this is something we talked about on Friday. Hype. It's like the three, the three tight end personnel thing that the Rams have been trying to do. The Seahawks fucking shut that down in this game. And the, in. The Rams had to go back to like three receiver sets for the most part.

[Danny Hyperson]

Yeah, they did. They had to. They had to go back. Dude, the Ram. The Seahawks came this close to starting the game with the Rams going 0 for 8 at the goal line. They had this goal line stop and.

[Danny Kelly]

Then goal line stands. They went for it on fourth down and got it. But yeah, like, you know, obviously, and, and if you Listen to Mike McDonald after the game, he seemed like, pretty, he didn't seem, you know, sad or like, scared or whatever what had happened. It felt like he was pretty confident because he was happy with how the defense played. Obviously you can't have Sam Darnold turn the ball over four times and expect to win. And that's just kind of the, the nature of this thing. But, you know, it was a, it was a good game. And I can't believe the Seahawks were in it till the end with, with those four turnovers, I feel like the.

[Craig]

Seahawks can win the super bowl, but they need to have the right matchups. Like, if they play Denver in the Super Bowl, I don't think they can win. Like, I do think Darnold. Like, I would much more trust them against like, the Bills or the Colts. It's teams where I feel comfortable that Sam Darnold could be comfortable himself and actually, like, put up a lot of points and it's more of a shootout situation. And then you rely on the defense to slow down somebody like Josh Allen because, or, and they need to go through like, like a team like the Bucks or something. And I think if they have to go through like, Philly, then they got to go play Denver. I, I, I don't trust Sam Darnold.

[Danny Hyperson]

At all this game. And the way Darnold played is why Jalen hurts. Plays the way he plays.

[Danny Kelly]

Totally. If he would. If he just would have played like Jalen hurts, I would be probably very happy right now.

[Craig]

Super Bowl MVP Jalen hurts. Yeah.

[Danny Hyperson]

Super Bowl MVP Jalen hurts. No, but for real, like, he just. It. It's kind of like the way Bill always talks about the NBA where it's just what is your playoff rotation like? Maybe you can get through the regular season this way, but who's the five people on the floor in the final four minutes of the game? The Eagles play like it's the playoffs every week and other teams don't. But the Eagles are like, if you don't turn on the ball over, you'll win the game. And other teams are like, yeah, but they don't really mean it. Like, the Eagles are just like, yeah, no, just don't turn the ball over.

[Danny Kelly]

The other real quick. The other thing that's kind of nerve wracking about this game is Gray Zabel, their rookie.

[Danny Hyperson]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Left guard, got hurt and it's his knee. They don't know exactly how bad it is, but I have a bad feeling about it. And if he's out for the rest of the year, that's going to be like potentially really bad for the Seahawks.

[Craig]

The.

[Danny Hyperson]

Well, another loser here. So Patrick Mahomes and the Chiefs also. I mean, tough game for Kansas City. Great game for the Broncos. I think. Boot and rally. Boy, had he did it again. Another boot, another rally.

[Craig]

He's unbelievable. He really is.

[Danny Hyperson]

It's Broncos beat the Chiefs 22 to 19. Broncos are nine and two. I mean, boot and rally bow gets three fourth quarter field. That's a great name. I know Bill Cook there. So three fourth quarter field goals to get the win. Boot and rally bow hits Troy Franklin with a minute left to set up the walk off field goal. There kind of was a false start on Troy Franklin on the catch that Troy Franklin had. And I also don't care because the refs kind of took away a pick six from the Broncos for like no reason.

[Craig]

So I think it's a wash. That's not boast. That's not boot and rally. Bo's fault.

[Danny Hyperson]

No, it's not Bo's fault.

[Craig]

He still hit the throw.

[Danny Hyperson]

Will Lutz, the Broncos kicker, had five field goals in this game. I believe it's 16 of the 22 points to the Broncos, which is just funny to me. Or more than that, I guess. But I. I mean, this was kind of just classic all around. The Broncos defense was just like Outrageously good. The Chiefs offense once again was like kind of a hot mess. And I don't think the, I, I think this one was the first game in, in a while where I was like, man, Andy Reed and Spagnolo, the coordinator, they're kind of old. Like they just, like they kind of just didn't have their fastball today. Andy Reid, like once again, third and one. They're in shotgun again. I'm like, man, just get under center with Kareem Han. What are you doing? But the Bronx, I mean, Bonix, I, I, I think he's, I'm, I actually think Bonick's played well. I think Sean Payton, Romo was all over this. When Sean Payton can't get the play calls in on time because he has, the play calls are like, God, they're like 40 words. They're like the longest ones left in the NFL. I, I think when he retires, no one else would talk call plays like he does. Combined with, I swear, if Peyton's older and just talk slower now, for whatever reason, those play calls aren't getting into like 27 seconds. And you can tell drives. Bonick's nuts. He screams about it once a half and he wants to go with tempo anyway. He came from fricking Oregon, but they, they got it done. But the defense playing I, the defense destroying Kansas City with Patrick Certain, who's the defensive player of the year, did not play today. And I mean the Chiefs kind of had one good, I, I guess one or I guess two good drives for Kansas City. But CBS had this graphic that Mahomes got the ball at fastest release of his career, 2.2 seconds on average, which is the fastest of his career. So the Broncos kind of kicked the.

[Craig]

Shit out of him.

[Danny Kelly]

The Broncos defense is absolutely legit. They, I saw this From Josh Dubow, first team since 2000 Saints with 49 sacks in their first 11 games. They just rushed the passer like crazy. Obviously they have a very good secondary as well. And I saw this. So this, it's funny how the NFL is like this every year. We talk about this all the time. The score, your record in one score games really does matter so much and can swing the entire season one way or the other. So the Broncos last year were one in six and one score games. Now they're seven and two in one score games. And then on the other hand, the Chiefs last year were 10 and 0 in one score games and 0 and 5 in one score games this year. So yeah, I guess the, the shine is taking off of Pat Mahomes in terms of like his late game heroics maybe just a little bit this year. Obviously I still believe in him very strongly late in games, but that sort of invincibility, the air of invincibility that he had last year when they went 10 and oh in one score games is. I mean, that's been the difference in their season, obviously. And so they are basically not going to win the division for the first time in a decade or whatever. So that's kind of crazy.

[Danny Hyperson]

The Patriots streak's going to stand forever. They won the AFC 11 times in a row, so now they're just going to have that shit forever.

[Craig]

I know the Chiefs are four wins back on the Broncos. I mean, shit, man, The Chargers are 7 and 4. They had a rough day. But the Chiefs might be the first team to miss the playoffs and I think they'll be the best team in the league.

[Danny Hyperson]

The.

[Craig]

The Chiefs.

[Danny Hyperson]

Here's the thing though. So the Chiefs, they're in a very precarious spot for the playoffs because. So we're in a weird spot where there's a real changing of the guard here. Some of it's schedule based, but the Patriots are really in position to win the AFC east over the Bills. And I don't know if we would pick the Patriots to beat the Bills as they played in the playoffs. The Broncos are certainly in position to win the AFC west in the. But I don't know if we would pick the Broncos to beat the Chiefs. It was in the playoffs. I know they just beat him today, but then you kind of have that all over AFC North. Like if the Steelers and Ravens both made the playoffs, would you pick the Steelers to beat the Ravens? I don't know. It's. But it's like the whole thing where we wanted. Oh, my homes. Lamar, Josh, suddenly none of these teams are going to win the division and you're actually going to end up with the Colts. The Broncos, Honestly, it's like 2005 all over again. It's. The Steelers are winning the north, the culture winning the south. The. The Broncos are going to win the west and the. Well, I guess the. Yeah, the Patriots are winning the AFC East. It literally does look like the 2006 standings. So what's weird is that the Chiefs.

[Danny Kelly]

Know the 2006 standings by heart. It's crazy.

[Danny Hyperson]

Like just the 2000. I mean, I don't know, just. I feel like those teams just won every year.

[Danny Kelly]

You're just like an encyclopedia.

[Danny Hyperson]

I feel like I'm right. I'll look it up. But I mean, I don't, I don't.

[Danny Kelly]

I'm not doubting you. I'm just like, amazed. But what's crazy, remember last year's standings?

[Danny Hyperson]

That, that I believe the. I just think it's weird the Chiefs right now, if the season ended, wouldn't make the playoffs because it's not just that they're out of it, it's that the teams ahead of them, the wild card, they lost to all these teams. So it's actually, it's actually kind of a big problem for Kansas City. It's not just like, oh, my homes will pull out the magic. They're behind the Jags, but the Jags have the head to head because they beat them on Monday in football. The Chiefs are behind the Chargers, so they're going to have to beat them just to split it. And they're behind the Bills and they lost. And the Chiefs lost to the Bills and they're behind the Texans and they play the Texans still. So if the Chiefs lose to the. They have to beat the Texans or else like the Chiefs, it's not like, oh, they'll just make it. They really have to go on a run or they're going to the. Kansas City's going to miss the playoffs.

[Craig]

Yeah, they're like, I mean, they have the ninth best record, I guess tied for the eighth best record right now in the afc. It's not great.

[Danny Hyperson]

Do we put an asterisk on the super bowl this year if Kansas City doesn't make the playoffs for sure?

[Craig]

Well, it depends who wins.

[Danny Kelly]

Craig, do you actually really still believe the Chiefs are the best team in the NFL? Like, do you still feel that in your heart?

[Craig]

Well, I'm trying to think of a team that if they played the. Like, which team would I pick?

[Danny Hyperson]

Rams. Chiefs.

[Craig]

If it was Rams. Chiefs. Right now on a neutral site in the Super Bowl, I guess I'd probably pick the Rams. But like, I, I don't think there's many teams on a neutral site.

[Danny Kelly]

They're ninth in the afc.

[Craig]

I know, but like, I don't know. Would you. If it was just like straight up right now, Patriots versus Chiefs, like, neutral site for the Super Bowl. Who are you picking?

[Danny Kelly]

You picking probably the Chiefs?

[Danny Hyperson]

I have a hypothetical. What about that?

[Danny Kelly]

That's out of respect for the. What they've done in the last decade more than what I actually feel like they are this year deal. You know what I mean?

[Craig]

Like, like you're telling me you would take Daniel Jones over Patrick Mahomes right now in One game.

[Danny Hyperson]

I mean, I would take Daniel Jones over Mahomes for years. I hypothetical for you, Craig. AFC championship game, Chiefs versus Broncos. Who do you think wins?

[Craig]

I would pick the Chiefs.

[Danny Hyperson]

Dk.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

I mean, I guess this is, this is. At the end of the day, what, what Craig is saying, it's like loser, go home. Who are you picking? Mahomes or somebody who's favorite in that game?

[Craig]

Who's favorite in a neutral? I guess it wouldn't be neutral. I guess it would be in Denver.

[Danny Hyperson]

The Chiefs though, I think what's weird about their offense, they came out of their B.O. and like, you know, Steven Reeves was talking about this for a couple years. Andy Reid hasn't been the same play call. I don't think he's a cutting edge play caller anymore. Like, I think that it's the same way we talked about. The Eagles offensive line has gone from A plus to B plus, I guess. I mean, Lane Johnson's in another lineup. Like there any B plus offensive line. I think the Chiefs play calling on offensive defense is like B plus and it used to be A plus. And I think you see it not just third and short where they've always been weird, but again, the Chiefs aren't hurt. That's the thing with Kansas City, right? Josh Simmons came back to like, like the cheat. Isaiah Pacheco, a seventh round running back, like, that's the only guy that's really part of this team. That's not there. You compare that to any other team in the NFL. They're not even close to their best. The fact that they're not getting Rashid, they're not able to get Rasheed Rice the ball, they're not able to move. They had two weeks to scheme. I mean, my home's again coming Buffalo two weeks ago, Buffalo moments at the lowest completion percentage of his career.

[Danny Kelly]

I know the Bronco missing open guys.

[Craig]

Yeah, his deep ball is still.

[Danny Hyperson]

No, nothing looks easy. Nothing looks. It's.

[Danny Kelly]

Really skinny guys on their offense.

[Danny Hyperson]

Chris Jones after the game, two too many. Chris Jones was talking about. He thought the Bonicks knew exactly what they were doing on third and 15. He like it was basically shot at Spagnolo. And also why Romo? Why Tony Romo can't get Spagnolo's name right. He calls him Spagnola. Even though Tony Romo has probably done more Chiefs games than anybody else in the last six years and he's gotten this guy's name wrong every single time. But Chris Jones was calling out Spagnolo in this game. Basically and saying that they had the same third long blitzes. Like, I don't know. I think that I, I, I kind of think the Chiefs will end up missing, missing the playoffs.

[Danny Kelly]

It's just one game, but I felt, watching that game, I just felt like.

[Craig]

The Chiefs just aren't that good, to be honest. I just feel like defenses are better than offenses right now. Like, I think this season is defined by teams with really, really strong defensive units. Like the Eagles are defensive center, like the Broncos. Those are probably the, the two best team. I mean, the Rams are really good defensively. Seattle's really good defensively. Houston's really good defensively. It's like none of these offenses are able to thwart these defenses in these major matchups.

[Danny Hyperson]

It is funny how even two years ago we're like, how will offenses catch up or whatever? You know, I mean, how will defenses catch up? You know what I mean? If you, and now it's like, yeah, I do feel like we're watching defenses kind of kick the crap.

[Danny Kelly]

I think if you look at the numbers, Cause I, Craig, you mentioned that earlier today and I looked at the numbers and like, in terms of scoring, the 2025 season so far is like fourth most points per game. But like, but, but what I was going to say was to, to defend. What you're saying is like the best teams in the NFL though dominate with defense.

[Craig]

When the Seahawks play the commanders, like they can put up 40, but it's when the two good teams play one another. These games have been slogs and that's a testament to all these. When I just listed the Sunday night and Monday night games, those are the NFL schedules, the best teams to play in those games. And they're all low scoring slogs because the defenses are outplaying the offense right now.

[Danny Kelly]

So you're kind of saying offense seems.

[Danny Hyperson]

Trump offense doesn't win titles.

[Craig]

Well, offense wins games. You know what I mean? But, but it's, they don't win championships. That's defense, I think.

[Danny Kelly]

Nice. Wow.

[Craig]

I think defense wins championships.

[Danny Hyperson]

Write that down. Speaking of, write this down. I just want to mention Broncos tight end Adam Troutman. I could tell Sean Payton had some shit going on about. He clearly showed them some weird tweets or whatever about Bonix. Because all the Broncos came out of the locker room being like, we don't care what anyone is doing to say. And clearly they do because it was all there. But Adam Shoutman said, quote, if you're talking about BO online, you're a coward, absolute coward. He blanks it out. We don't care what other people think.

[Danny Kelly]

He's not even on social media. Who cares?

[Danny Hyperson]

And he said, hey Dragon Slayer 69 with your 711 Slurpee in your mom's basement. I don't give a what you have to say.

[Craig]

Is that what he said?

[Danny Hyperson]

Yes, that. That is actually a quote.

[Craig]

Wow.

[Danny Hyperson]

Which I mean kind of offensive to Dragon Slayer 69 and to Slurpees and People in Mom's Basement.

[Danny Kelly]

Dare you ber.

[Craig]

Dang. What? Nobody can. If you have a Slurpee, you're an incel. Is that what he's implying?

[Danny Hyperson]

I think is what he's saying. Should probably apologize.

[Danny Kelly]

There actually is a Dragon Slayer 69.

[Danny Hyperson]

Really?

[Danny Kelly]

I found. I found him.

[Danny Hyperson]

Is he a Broncos fan?

[Danny Kelly]

He hasn't tweeted since 2009. So shoot.

[Craig]

Tough OD'd on Slurpees.

[Danny Hyperson]

This episode is brought to you by Ford Blue Cruise. It's not just where you're going, it's how you get there. And Ford BlueCruise hands free highway driving technology helps make the journey more enjoyable. We took it for a test drive so we could experience the convenience for ourselves. So I tested the Ford Blue Cruise Hands Free Highway Driving technology last month and it was amazing. I was blown away. Like we're just on the highway and you can just hit a blinker and it just changes lanes and you can set how many car lengths ahead you want the truck to be in front of or behind the car. Like how far you want it from the nearest car. It was amazing. I was. I didn't realize we were there. I felt like I was living the future. So it was. It was absolutely mind blowing. With Ford Blue Cruise, you arrive at your destination ready to take on whatever comes your way. But don't just take our word for it. Experience the convenience for yourself. Ford Blue Cruise Hands Free highway driving for a hands on life available feature on Blue Cruise equipped vehicles, Blue Cruise requires a connected services plan and modem activation. BlueCruise Driver Assist features can be activated in Hands free Blue zones and do not replace safe driving and drivers need to control the vehicle. See Ford.com BlueCruise for more details on available plans and hands free models. This episode is brought to you by Velveeta. Game day is all about the tailgate spread. First things first. Who's bringing the Velveeta drip? Just like your favorite players on the field, Velveeta fans go all in on what they love. Creamy shells and cheese, melty Velveeta blocks and cheesy jarred quesos. They're taking down one taste bud at a time. Velveeta is the real MVP of the tailgate. You've got to respect the drip. Do yourself a favor and stock up on Velveeta before kickoff. All right, let's get into something special. It's time for a brand new segment called who's Cooking this Week, brought to you by our friends at ikea. Now, IKEA is where to go when you want to cook up your dream kitchen. But today we're talking about who is absolutely cooking in fantasy football. Dk, I think there's only one person here to lead this off.

[Danny Kelly]

Josh Allen.

[Danny Hyperson]

He.

[Danny Kelly]

He went full lieutenant Ronald Spears. Once again, if you don't remember what I'm talking about, that's the character slash real person from Band of Brothers who ran all the way through an occupied German city to get to the other side. And all the Germans were like, what the hell? I. And then they just went back.

[Danny Hyperson]

They were just so shocked he was trying to run through that he just let him go.

[Danny Kelly]

Josh Allen just does things that no one is. No one can ever expect. He had six touchdowns in this game, guys. Six touchdowns, the highest single game fantasy score of a quarterback this season. 42.6 points in the win over the Buccaneers, 44 to 32. It started out poorly for him. He threw like one of the more horrendous picks I've ever seen him throw. It was like a Sam Darnold desk. He terrible jump pass, like to try and avoid the pass rush deep in his own territory, but then obviously came back and had an awesome day. Rushed for three touchdowns, threw for three touchdowns plus 300 yards. He. He had. He, in this game tied Cam Newton for most rushing touchdowns of all time.

[Danny Hyperson]

Greg Tom said, a cover one who. Who was like, this is the worst game anyone's ever played. Who had six touchdowns.

[Craig]

Yeah. Yeah, honestly, that's right.

[Danny Hyperson]

100. Like he had a chat. He started standing in his own end zone, has a chest back to the defense. He's almost like he was spotting the Bucks points to start.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Danny Hyperson]

And then he really should have had another pick on the next drive. And then he kind of just. I don't even know if he settled down as much as I don't know if he settled down or doubled down.

[Craig]

But I know he's just a force like that every once in a while. He's just like a tidal wave that can't be stopped. And you know it, too, when, like when you're going up against him in fantasy. And it's just like every drive he, like, runs in a touchdown and you're like, oh, my God, this guy's gonna.

[Danny Hyperson]

Put a 50 points against me. So Josh Allen, I mean, honestly, he's.

[Craig]

Like a runaway train, a fantasy point.

[Danny Hyperson]

Sometimes you go through it, it's all. It looks fake. I mean, first of all, Josh Allen had more touchdowns than Herbert Mahomes, Lamar Darnold, Bo Nicks, Matt Stafford and Baker combined, which is just funny. And then also, no one else in NFL history has had or. Sorry. Josh Allen has more games with three passing touchdowns and three rushing touchdowns than everyone else in the NFL history combined. Like, Josh has done it twice. Otto Graham did it once in like 1954 whole auto. And that was it.

[Danny Kelly]

It.

[Danny Hyperson]

That's the entire list. Also, I'm sorry in advance for not looking up the 1954 Browns ahead of time.

[Craig]

Do it right now.

[Danny Hyperson]

Yeah, I'll do it right now.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. This was an interesting game storyline from the Bills is that Keon Coleman got benched. Not benched. He was made. He was made inactive because I believe he was late for a meeting or a practice camera. But it had. It sounds like this has been a thing that's happened multiple times now. And then the guy, I guess, ostensibly that replaced him, Tyrell Shavers is his name.

[Craig]

San Diego State scored a touchdown. Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

So I don't know. That's just an interesting storyline. I don't know what to make of that. But obviously Keon Coleman, things are not going great for him right now. I was trying to stall while hyphens looked up the TV.

[Danny Hyperson]

The starting safety for the 1954 Browns was named Ken Cons.

[Craig]

Yep.

[Danny Hyperson]

Ken Khan with two Ks. Ken Kahns.

[Craig]

What was his middle name?

[Danny Hyperson]

Yeah, I don't know. Hopefully they had a. The other quarterbacks, they had a guy named Warren Lar.

[Craig]

Sure, Warren.

[Danny Hyperson]

Dante Lavelli was the right end.

[Craig]

Wow.

[Danny Hyperson]

And then there was another guy named Dub Jones. Just the first time.

[Craig]

I like Dub Dub. This is my friend. That's Jug, that's Cub. That's Dub.

[Danny Hyperson]

Dub just passed away. Dub died last year. He's 99 years old.

[Craig]

Oh, 99. Damn. He was drafted in World War II.

[Danny Hyperson]

Yeah, he was probably. He was drafted in 1946 by the.

[Danny Kelly]

Army or by the NFL?

[Craig]

Good question.

[Danny Kelly]

No, they didn't have the draft. Six.

[Danny Hyperson]

Oh, he was a Seahawk. Dub Dub.

[Danny Kelly]

No way.

[Craig]

Dub.

[Danny Kelly]

Anyway. What? He was a Seahawk.

[Craig]

What are you talking about? They weren't around.

[Danny Kelly]

He was not a Seahawk unless he was playing in the NFL for 35 years.

[Danny Hyperson]

Oh, sorry, sorry. Wait, hold on. Sorry. I was skinny.

[Craig]

Literal Seahawks.

[Danny Hyperson]

I was skimming. I was skimming. He played for the Miami Seahawks.

[Craig]

Oh.

[Danny Hyperson]

AFC in 1946.

[Craig]

Wow.

[Danny Hyperson]

The Miami Seahawks.

[Craig]

Oh.

[Danny Hyperson]

And then they relocated to Baltimore. I don't know. That's. Anyway, sorry, I didn't know there was.

[Danny Kelly]

Another Seahawk team before the Seahawks.

[Danny Hyperson]

I don't know.

[Craig]

You learned something.

[Danny Hyperson]

Who knows? Anyway, yeah, Josh. Sean was cooking also. I actually think this is probably the. I wonder if this is the most valuable fantasy football game ever for a quarterback. It's not the most points Josh has ever scored or quarterbacks ever scored, but if you look at the wider range of the day, talk about what happened earlier, the fact like There were only two other quarterbacks that even had over 20 points today, and they were Bryce Young and Jacoby Brissette. No one played them. I believe Bryce Young was played in 10% of leagues in Yahoo.

[Danny Kelly]

Certainly not single quarterback leagues.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Danny Hyperson]

If you look at.

[Craig]

In those 10% of leagues, that was the people who had already abandoned their season and he was just stuck in their starting line.

[Danny Hyperson]

Exactly. So if you look at who is actually playing in your lineups, Josh had double, if not triple or quadruple as many points as like every other quarterback. So maybe it's not the most points ever in a week, but compared how bad the overweek was, he was probably more valuable as a quarterback this week than any week that there's ever been.

[Danny Kelly]

Justin fields was the QB4 this week.

[Danny Hyperson]

And even he was played in less than half of leagues in.

[Craig]

In my home league, I had Lamar and Justin Herbert who collectively scored seven points up against Josh Allen who scored 42.

[Danny Hyperson]

Yeah.

[Craig]

I was like, well, I can't win.

[Danny Hyperson]

It's pretty incredible.

[Craig]

What am I gonna do?

[Danny Hyperson]

The other person who's cooking in the same game? So the. The Bills. God, it was crazy. Cause the Bucks played well, but the Bills beat the Bucks. Oh, God. What was the final score here? It was a lot to a little.

[Craig]

42 to 31.

[Danny Hyperson]

44 to 32.

[Danny Kelly]

44 to 32. Yeah.

[Danny Hyperson]

Which was crazy because Sean Tucker for the Buccaneers went absolutely crazy. Sean Tucker had 21 touches for 140 yards from scrimmage and three touchdowns. Sean Tucker, 33 fantasy points. Number one, running back in week 11, Sean Tucker.

[Danny Kelly]

He did. He did this last year too, didn't he? He had like a really ridiculously huge game that he did absolutely nothing.

[Danny Hyperson]

He had like 230 yards this one. I actually did the. I. I talked about this at the ringer pregame show. Cause I just think the Bills run defense, I mean, it's rare, I think, for a running back to kind of dominate. Like, I think it was interesting to see the Bills really get rocked on the ground and it didn't matter. Like, that was the part of Josh's performance that was so crazy to me was I thought the Bucks were going to control the game in the running game and it would throw the Bills off. And it didn't matter at all. It didn't matter at all. Josh just like, I mean, Baker was. Had more mobility than people thought, but. But, I mean, yeah, Josh was super. He looked like. He looked like last year's MVP today. He looked like unstoppable.

[Craig]

With that said, though, about Sean Tucker, I'm officially. I'm out on Rashad White. Like, I. I can't. I can't do the. Like, Bucky Irving's had another week, baby. Rashad White, let's do it. It's just not. He puts up seven points a game, and then Sean Tucker gets all the cool carries and explosive plays, and Rashad White just eats up, snaps and does nothing. And calories.

[Danny Hyperson]

I think Rashad White got this far because he wears one and Sean Tucker was 44. But if Sean T. War One and Rashad White wore 44, Rashad White might not even be active.

[Craig]

It's a great call. Speaking of weird jerseys, my. Who's cooking my ikea? Who's cooking Travion Henderson? We fucking did it. We did it. I didn't watch this game. I was at a movie screening, and as I was driving, there I was with my brother, and he. And I was like, oh, can you check the score of the Patriots game? I was like, I desperately need Trayvon Henderson to have a good game. I'm desperate. I have Jonathan Taylor's on by whatever I need it to be. This needs to be the week. They're playing the Jets. This is it.

[Danny Hyperson]

Thursday football. Also, if it's bad, it sits there for days.

[Craig]

Yes. And he goes, oh, he's got 60 yards at halftime. And I was like, you know what? That's not so bad. And then he goes. And two touchdowns. And I went, stop. And then he scored another one during the movie. I checked my phone. We fucking did it, boys. 90 yards, three touchdowns, 29 points. The RB3 on the day. He looked good. All of his touchdowns were impressive. Both the runs were like seven yard shimmies to, like, spin move. Stayed on his feet, shook a couple guys. Looks great. Caught five passes anyways. He's sell high because Ramon Dre's back soon.

[Danny Kelly]

Probably, I would think. Yeah, probably.

[Danny Hyperson]

I think for your emotional health, you might want to divest.

[Craig]

Just get rid of them.

[Danny Kelly]

Just get a good player though. Don't. Don't get a crappy player. Yeah, yeah, I think Zach Cox post posted this on Twitter. By the way, the Patriots in on Thursday Night Football had, I don't know what they call it. Nor' Easter uniform.

[Danny Hyperson]

The Nor Easter uniform thing, which I guess. Do you guys know what an or Easter is?

[Craig]

No.

[Danny Kelly]

The wind. Right. Nor Easter.

[Danny Hyperson]

It's a storm. But yeah, I guess that's like the.

[Danny Kelly]

The what? Nor' Easter is blowing something strong tonight.

[Danny Hyperson]

I didn't realize until just now until you said the word nor Easter. I'm like, you guys have. I mean, it literally has northeast, like kind of right in the day. But yeah, it's a weird, like, sailor jargon. I had a realization about the jerseys during that Jets, Patriots. And again, the Patriots rocked the jets. There's 2714. I don't think Justin Fields is going to play again for the Jets.

[Danny Kelly]

Hold on, before, before we move on, I want to finish my thought and then you can say your thing. He said.

[Craig]

We're.

[Danny Kelly]

We're making the font bigger every time he scores a touchdown. Because Trayvon Henderson's font now, especially on these nor' Easter uniforms, is like, maybe even bigger than normal. I think it's actually bigger than Romans.

[Craig]

I wanted to wrap around to the front.

[Danny Hyperson]

That's true.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. Anyway, go ahead.

[Danny Hyperson]

That's good. No, we should just wrap. We will make it bigger.

[Danny Kelly]

Every touchdown, he gets a little bit bigger font, a little bit bigger.

[Danny Hyperson]

That's it for who's cooking this week, brought to you by our friends at ikea. We all want to cook, whether it's in fantasy football or in your dream kitchen. And at ikea, you can find everything you need to create yours, from big dreams, like whole new kitchens, to smaller ones, like stylish plates. Bring them to life with high quality, expertly designed and innovative products. Visit IKEA US/Dream Kitchen to learn more. Dream the possibilities. It's so over. We are so back. Dk who is so back this week?

[Danny Kelly]

Bryce Young. At least until the next time he plays the Falcons. Bryce Young owns the Falcons. Inexplicably. I don't know what's going on with this. Last week, we were pretty much giving up on him. I think I said, we know the story. Like he's, he's, it's over. They're going to someone different next year. And then Bryce comes out and passes for 448 yards. Yards, which is 120 more than the next closest game he's ever done in his life. Also, it was a career high. Sorry. It was a 30 to 27 win over the Falcons in overtime.

[Craig]

Bryce now 4:48 with three touchdowns is crazy.

[Danny Hyperson]

I gotta be honest.

[Danny Kelly]

DK, the number one defensive DVOA team, mind you.

[Danny Hyperson]

DK texted us for a while. DK, you texted us that Bryce Young might be my winner this week. And I was like. Like, that's stupid. Why did you want to do that? And then I looked it up and I was like, 4:48. What?

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, 448 yards. It's more than Cam Newton ever did for the Panthers.

[Danny Hyperson]

I do. Were you guys aware of this during the game? I feel like I was not. I was, like, watching.

[Craig]

I was watching. Yeah, me too. Yeah.

[Danny Hyperson]

And it did not really register to me that he was flirting with 500.

[Danny Kelly]

For a while I thought he was done. And then he came back in and he's just dropping dimes out there.

[Danny Hyperson]

I.

[Craig]

Well, he had some really horrible, like, snap fumble situation. And he was limping, stepped on him.

[Danny Hyperson]

And he was in agony. He was, like, writhing on the ground.

[Danny Kelly]

There's just, you know, look, he did a great job in this game. And like I said, he's played the Falcons really well in his career. He's now 4 and 1 in his career against the Falcons. But there are times where he looks just like a little kid out there. It's crazy. It's crazy that he was the first overall pick. It's crazy that he's still an NFL starter. And look, I understand. Like, he can do some magical things sometimes, but, yeah, this was. This was. It felt out of character.

[Craig]

He is the perfect we're so back candidate because, you know, in seven days, it will be so over. He. It. The NFL is a funny sport because I feel like there are certain performances that the collective media just willingly ignores. Like, no one will talk about this.

[Danny Kelly]

Yes.

[Danny Hyperson]

No.

[Danny Kelly]

Yes.

[Craig]

You know what I mean?

[Danny Hyperson]

Honestly, one of the reasons we needed to do this, this.

[Danny Kelly]

We didn't learn anything from this game, Craig.

[Craig]

Everyone will just be like, I. I didn't understand the stat line and I won't respond.

[Danny Hyperson]

This is the only record there will be of this. Of this planner platter.

[Craig]

Yeah, it's like. It's like. It's like Michael Wilson today having 11 catches for 185 yards. Whatever it was. And no one. Everyone's just like, I don't know what to do with that. That was gonna leave it over there.

[Danny Hyperson]

There was the Jacobe preset that. This was the most random thing I've ever heard.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh yeah. Jacobe Brissette had an NFL record for most completions in a game today. Dude, he was 47 completions and he. He completed 80% of his passes.

[Craig]

He was 47 for 57. That's a great score on a test.

[Danny Kelly]

How did they lose by so much? What was the final?

[Danny Hyperson]

Terribly, I swear.

[Danny Kelly]

It was 41 to 22.

[Craig]

The game was never close.

[Danny Hyperson]

He was never close.

[Craig]

They didn't set a record for completion. He had 450 yards. Michael Wilson had 15 catches for 185 yards.

[Danny Hyperson]

And Jacobi Brissette had 900 passing yards today.

[Danny Kelly]

Anyway.

[Danny Hyperson]

And also, you know what? Brissette also looked like he was in agony at multiple points. I was way more thinking that Brissette. Jacoby Brissette was going to be hurt and Kyler Murray would have to start next week. That I was thinking Jacoby Brissette was going to break an NFL record for completion.

[Craig]

It's pretty impressive to have 47 completions, 450 yards and only score 22 points. I know.

[Danny Hyperson]

I was gonna say 47 completions and none of them were really that memorable or important.

[Craig]

Like. Okay, so wait, I wanna. Hold on. I wanna get this right. So this week Jacob Brissette had 47 completions for 450 yards and they scored 20 points. Last 22 points. Last week Justin Fields had 54 yards passing and they scored 27 points.

[Danny Hyperson]

40 of them were on one screen. Debris Hall. Behind the screen, six forward passes. Oh my God.

[Danny Kelly]

It's also happened.

[Danny Hyperson]

Weird.

[Danny Kelly]

Arizona like doubled San Francisco's yards.

[Danny Hyperson]

Well, it's because they were. Yeah, I don't. Well, the Niners, I mean, I understand that.

[Craig]

Yeah, they would just work their way down the field. Pick. That was what the Cardinals were doing. It was like 70 yards of offense. Interception, fumble.

[Danny Hyperson]

Anyway, the Cardinals have had some of the. I mean between that and the Titans game, just a lot of. A lot of crazy things. The crowns this year.

[Craig]

I don't know how to. I don't know how to say this. I don't really know what I mean, but I feel like the Cardinals are the most irrelevant team in the NFL this year.

[Danny Hyperson]

Yeah.

[Craig]

Do you know what I mean?

[Danny Hyperson]

I do.

[Craig]

Like. Like there are worse teams. Like the jets are more relevant. You know what I mean? I would say it's like the Cardinals, The Saints are really irrelevant. And it Might be those two. But I feel like the Cardinals are just. They're just not a conversation.

[Danny Hyperson]

To your point, I think the Cardinals or the team like Sal just didn't. Sal didn't know that you could edit the multi view so on YouTube like.

[Craig]

He had no idea until two weeks.

[Danny Hyperson]

Ago, which I think is the funniest thing ever.

[Danny Kelly]

So he watched the Cardinals game so.

[Danny Hyperson]

Well, maybe. But I think the Cardinals are the team that sometimes if you have the multi maybe there's like five games on and you only. You put like three on and there's four and like you know, maybe you had red zone on in three games in the multiview and you had no idea there was a fourth game on in the window. It would never really affect you that the Cardinals, you know, you could just live your life and you could never know about the Arizona Cardinals.

[Craig]

Yeah, they're like a side character team. It's like they have good players. Like Trey McBride is on some ridiculous pace of games in a row with five catches. He's like the best tight end in fantasy. And yet another touchdown today. You know, 115 yards and a touchdown today, 10 catches. And yet it's just like the Cardinals are just not in the consciousness.

[Danny Kelly]

No, I will say a lot of people in several places, several betting sites had the Cardinals with better odds for more. Sorry for their over under was higher than the Seahawks coming to the season which I always thought was laughable. Said to get that out there.

[Craig]

Did you bet it?

[Danny Kelly]

No.

[Danny Hyperson]

Do you have the Seahawks 70 to 1 to win the super bowl like I do?

[Craig]

No.

[Danny Hyperson]

All right, well, cool.

[Danny Kelly]

I'll be rooting for you.

[Danny Hyperson]

What was the other. Oh, the. Oh, I can't. The. The Cardinals defense is just awful. But you know what? They don't matter. We. The Craig. Who else is so over for.

[Craig]

It's so over for J.J. mcCarthy. It's over. The Bears won a close game today, 1917. But like McCarthy was so bad and you look we. I know he's only played five, six games. Whatever. We talked earlier this season about how there are some quarterbacks. You come into the league and you usually know even if they're not winning, even if they're not. The stats aren't there. Like Drake May last year they. I think he won one game. Did they zero or one game last year he won. But you kind of knew. Right. You were like, oh, I just. It feels right. Even when the Vikings win or whatever, it just doesn't feel right. And sometimes like there was guys like Caleb who even though they're not winning. They have like the freaky traits where you can at least be like. Like there's so like even Anthony Richton, you're like, well, there are things he can do that other people can't do. J.J. mcCarthy does not have the freaky traits. And he also just like, doesn't have that, like, this guy knows what he's doing factor. He just doesn't. He doesn't have either. And so I, I know it's six. Six games or however many he's played, but it looks over.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, no, I was going to say pretty much the same thing. He looked really bad again. He did have one nice drive at.

[Craig]

The end of the game.

[Danny Kelly]

That's kind of like been the story for him. It's like he's terrible all game long and then he kind of catches fire for one drive.

[Danny Hyperson]

Maybe he's.

[Craig]

He's boot and rally, but then he actually doesn't really rally. Like, he tries to call the Uber and get back, but he doesn't make it to the Uber.

[Danny Hyperson]

Boot and rally and boot.

[Danny Kelly]

He was 16 of 32 for 150 yards, a touchdown and two picks. I think he.

[Craig]

He throws up in the Uber. That's what he is.

[Danny Hyperson]

And it's going to cost the Vikings like, $40 million. Yeah, he.

[Danny Kelly]

He among like, some of the young quarterbacks that we talk about all the time where, like, like you're saying you can either tell or you can't tell or whatever. That's.

[Craig]

It's.

[Danny Kelly]

Somebody has it. Like, he makes, to me, the least impress. He's been the least impressive in terms of the throws he makes, the accuracy. It's all very unimpressive for the most part other than that, like one. That one quarter against the Bears in week one. So, yeah, I'm starting to get pretty worried about.

[Danny Hyperson]

The Vikings were 16 to 3 at some point in this game. They came back, they had the two touchdowns in the fourth quarter. But, I mean, Justin Jefferson looked absolutely just distraught. At various points in this game, I will say there were a couple. I mean, Jordan Addison had a big, big drop in the first quarter where frankly, Jordan might have scored a touchdown on a. That would have bought J.J. mcCarthy a lot of time. And like, yeah, it's his fifth, sixth start, but again, big game for J.J. mcCarthy. I just. This is the thing. It's just the Vikings aren't a team that's necessarily, like, ready to wait. And so there's this weird timeline thing where it's like, well, give J.J. mcCarthy time. Five, six games. You can't judge him. I know. No, but the Vikings, you're going to get passed by the Lions, the Packers and the Bears. Like this year you're going to go in being like, do you bring in competition? What are you going to do? Like, I think that this is a real weird spot for them in McCarthy because it's like the nine thing, the whole like, oh, when nine goes to the fourth quarter, it's like kind of funny when they win and it's just kind of, it's just kind of weird.

[Danny Kelly]

When they don't, but super cringe when they don't win.

[Danny Hyperson]

His mechanics, he looks like someone who didn't throw many passes in college and his mechanics are so like, like there is no rhyme or reason to what's going on. Like he, he's short on some throws and then he's like over striding and he's throwing it over guys heads. He's like throwing it way too hard on passes that are right in front of his face and then he's throwing it it like just, they're all kind of just a little too short on facing that can be touched down downfield. Like there's not.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, even that's a better, that's a much better way of. That's pretty much what I was trying to say. It's like there's at, at very few points in the game. I'm like, oh, this guy's good, this guy. You know what I mean? Like he's just making these horrific throws. Also. This came up today. He can't throw left. Like if you look at his numbers from the right to the right and to the left, a dramatic, dramatic difference.

[Danny Hyperson]

He's Derek Zulander.

[Danny Kelly]

It's like, it is truly the mechanics are off. If it's, the mechanics are off. When he throws left, it just looks more labored. I don't know what the deal is, but that's going to be something that teams take advantage of because if you can't throw to one side of the field, that's going to be tough.

[Craig]

I mean, look, this is, it's over. We're so back. This category, the whole point is that these things change overnight. So maybe in two weeks he'll be so back, but right now it's so over.

[Danny Hyperson]

I, I have something that's so back.

[Craig]

Okay.

[Danny Hyperson]

Spitting. I, I, you know, week one, Jalen Carter spit on Dak Prescott.

[Craig]

Where's replay assist there? I know for my boy Jalen Ramsey, who was just defending himself, I feel like, can we get replay assist to be like actually Jamar Sh. Chase spit in his face, and he was defending.

[Danny Kelly]

He's gonna get suspended.

[Danny Hyperson]

Well, I don't know. So Jamar Chase. So again, so what happens? So Jalen Ramsey punched Jamar Chase. It got ejected. Turns out Jamar Chase hawked a loogie right in Jalen Ramsey.

[Craig]

Oh. A big wet one.

[Danny Hyperson]

It was huge.

[Craig]

It looked like spider shotgun splatter.

[Danny Hyperson]

Unbelievable.

[Danny Kelly]

I.

[Danny Hyperson]

It was thick. It was okay.

[Danny Kelly]

It was viscous.

[Danny Hyperson]

Loogie, like, really, like, spray phlegm. Unbelievable spray.

[Danny Kelly]

All right.

[Danny Hyperson]

Like the ocean dk. And anyway, nor'.

[Danny Kelly]

Easter.

[Danny Hyperson]

It's like nor' Easter of loogie blowing.

[Danny Kelly]

Into your face all over J. Ramsey.

[Craig]

Atmospheric river of Spain.

[Danny Hyperson]

An atmospheric river of loogie.

[Craig]

There was one of those in LA this weekend, by the way. There was an atmospheric river in la.

[Danny Hyperson]

God, we gotta get Weatherman to name our show and shit.

[Danny Kelly]

Why do we have so many of these atmospheric rivers all of a sudden?

[Danny Hyperson]

That's.

[Danny Kelly]

God.

[Danny Hyperson]

Anyway, so Jalen Ramsey punched Jamar Chase for this atmospheric river spit.

[Craig]

He got kicked out of the game.

[Danny Hyperson]

Yeah. And, like, it was funny because Jamar Chase then was asked, did you spit on him? And Jamar Chase said, no, which is funny because he definitely did. And then it was even funnier because.

[Danny Kelly]

Jim, I denied, denied, deny.

[Danny Hyperson]

He's just like, no, I. I didn't open my mouth. Which is like, well, you did. But it was also funny because then.

[Craig]

He'S like, release the spit files. I got nothing to hide.

[Danny Hyperson]

Just. Dude, it might have been a second spitter. I don't even know what he's going for. But it was also great because then a reporter asked Jalen Ramsey after the game, is spitting one of the most disrespectful things someone can do? And Jalen Ramsey says, quote, it is. It's what pussies do, quite honestly, End quote.

[Danny Kelly]

That was a real quote.

[Craig]

He said, quite honestly, quite honestly.

[Danny Kelly]

Wow.

[Danny Hyperson]

Which I don't know why that makes it so much funnier, but it does.

[Craig]

It does. It's a banger.

[Danny Hyperson]

So I think, journalistically, I think they have to ask Jamar Chase is. Is spitting what pussies do? Like, they have to. They have to ask Jamar Chase that question.

[Craig]

That's actually. Would be such an awesome question to hear him have to respond.

[Danny Hyperson]

Hey, Jamar. Hey, Jamar. Jamar. Is spitting what pussies do, quite honestly.

[Craig]

Is spitting what pussies do, quite honestly. If you had to be quite honest about it.

[Danny Hyperson]

Just. We just need your comment. Anyway, I just. I thought this was great because, honestly, the Steelers just kind of destroyed the Bengals in this game. It was very classic steel. The Steelers are still kind of back because Aaron Rodgers hurt his wrist. Mason Rudolph came in this game. Nothing mattered. The Steelers defense outscored the Bengals offense. The Steelers are both a mess. Looked awful last week versus the Chargers. Classic Tomlin didn't map like the Steelers last three weeks have had nothing in common with each other. Any of them looks horrible against the.

[Craig]

Packers beat the Colts. Looked terrible against the Chargers beat the Bengals.

[Danny Hyperson]

And it's. I actually have a theory developing about the Steelers that The fact they're 9 and 7 every year means they should never be bet on because there's no possible way you could make a profit betting on the Steelers. I've decided that there's no way that that math works out ever. But.

[Craig]

But Rogers has a small fracture in his wrist. It looks like.

[Danny Hyperson]

I was surprised he came out of the game because I'm like, it's his non throwing hand.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Craig]

Well, I heard he tried to come back in and they didn't let him. Oh, because he's 42.

[Danny Kelly]

That's what he told him to say.

[Craig]

That's in the narrative. He's pedaling. No. This sucks. I feel like everyone's like, oh, Mason Rudolph's gonna be better than Aaron Rodgers. I don't think he is Aaron. Mason Rudolph sucks. Aaron Rogers is better than Mason Rudolph. Right now I feel confident saying that. But no, he's in the border.

[Danny Kelly]

After he was in there, he's gonna.

[Craig]

Like throw one deep pass and. And then ma Rudolph's gonna suck for the next three weeks.

[Danny Hyperson]

It's so funny that you guys are winning the nfc. You're the AFC north and you're gonna win the NC North. You keep saying.

[Craig]

My prediction is coming true. The Ravens are 5 and 5. The Steelers are 6 and 4. The Steelers are going to lose to Chicago next week and the Ravens are going to beat the jets and the division will be tied.

[Danny Hyperson]

I think we should add this to our list of things for the Ringer 107 the game. I don't think you should. We should ever gamble in the Steelers. There's no point. There's no way that you can.

[Craig]

Well, south, never get involved in a.

[Danny Kelly]

Land war in Asia. Never bet on Jared Goff playing in the cold. Never bet on the Steelers ever.

[Craig]

Sal, you. You bet the Steelers to lose the first half and win the game. And he made a ton of money doing that.

[Danny Hyperson]

So.

[Craig]

And that's. That is the. The Bears this year as you bet the Bears to Lose the first half and win the game. And now they're playing next week. It's going to be the weirdest game ever.

[Danny Hyperson]

Yeah, those are weird teams. Another weird team. Dk, we're so back. You, you said Christian Watson so back. Christian Watson is so back.

[Danny Kelly]

I just, I just wanted to give Christian Washington Watson a shout out because he just flashes. He's really, really explosive when he's healthy. I think he's a, I don't know what the number is.

[Craig]

He's. He's a top 10.

[Danny Kelly]

No, I was going to say like top 25 receiver in the NFL, which is still saying a lot. There's like a lot of very good receivers in the NFL, but he's extremely explosive. Basically just a threat to score anytime he's on the field and he did that twice in this game. I think he's made a big difference for their offense, for the packers offense who right now is really banged up. Tucker Kraft is out for the year. Matthew golden has not panned out the way that I think they wanted him to so far. Romeo Dobbs, I think he's a good role player, but he can't, he keeps dropping the ball. He's had so many drops the last few weeks. But I think he's like a good third down, you know, move the chains type of guy. Not necessarily a big play field tilting receiver like Christian Watson. So I just wanted to shout out Christian Watson, Chris Christian Watson, he scored two touchdowns today, 46 yards. I think he's top 10. He's just back, back.

[Craig]

Would you top 10 or top five?

[Danny Kelly]

No, not, not top 10. Top six. Let's not get over.

[Danny Hyperson]

Christian Watson's two touchdowns today were unbelievable. Yeah, they were like, were really, really, really, really impressive. The, the, he had clamps for hands and I kind of forgot that all those contested catch touchdowns he had his first season was because he like, he. I don't know. Sometimes those big talented guys don't necessarily have the best hands. And the first one was true. He basically caught in it with the Giants defender's arm in the middle of his hands and he just caught the ball anyway and clearly had possession and I was kind of blown away. And then the, the touchdown that kind of ice. The giant packers won 27, 20. And honestly the last touchdown he had was. We always talk about how T. Higgins, I still think has the crown with Justin Jefferson, if Justin Jefferson ever catches a ball again. I can't remember any times recently but like Watson kind of today reminded me that he's like a second tier Catch point guy. It's. He's unbelievable.

[Craig]

He has. He just has great feel. And those down the field guys are so valuable to teams like the Alec Pierce types. Like, those guys are just so useful for good teams.

[Danny Hyperson]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Watson right now has the second highest explosive play rate in the NFL.

[Danny Hyperson]

Came off an ACL tear, and he's the only way they can move the chains again.

[Craig]

He tore his ACL in like, week 16 or something in December last year. It's remarkable. He looks awesome. He looks super explosive and healthy.

[Danny Hyperson]

We have to remember that just because he did this, we can't be like, will Christian Watson did it.

[Danny Kelly]

It.

[Craig]

Yeah. Outlier.

[Danny Hyperson]

Yes.

[Craig]

Can't include the outlier.

[Danny Hyperson]

Next up here, America's favorite segment. Fart or shart.

[Craig]

It's time for America's favorite segment.

[Danny Hyperson]

America's favorite segment.

[Craig]

Or shar.

[Danny Kelly]

Maybe he's lactose intolerant.

[Craig]

This guy's been farting all goddamn season.

[Danny Hyperson]

Speaking of lactose intolerant.

[Craig]

I love that. I love that we're going to be on Netflix with that.

[Danny Kelly]

I know.

[Danny Hyperson]

They can still change their mind. Speaking of Lexus, I need to shout out Milky, who sent me an actual. I begged lactate to sponsor us, and they ignored us. So Milky sent me this. You guys have seen me with my stupid little packets of lactate. I look like a.

[Danny Kelly]

You sent me a whole box one time and I.

[Craig]

Those. Those dumb lactate pills.

[Danny Hyperson]

Stupid. Look at this. Look how much cooler. How much less stupid.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, those are stylish.

[Danny Hyperson]

You can just kind of keep that and just pull it out and it. Look how much less dumb I look with that.

[Danny Kelly]

It's like having a black car.

[Danny Hyperson]

I just sit there. Dude. I remember getting pizza with you guys in Phoen. And.

[Craig]

Is that an Amex? What is that?

[Danny Hyperson]

I know.

[Danny Kelly]

Good.

[Danny Hyperson]

Do you remember all my packets end up on the table. Oh, my God, you feel so stinky.

[Danny Kelly]

He really. It's actually very true. It's like you got rappers all over the place like a slob.

[Craig]

Also, for some reason, they look like they've been in your pocket since, like 2012. They're like. So they're like half disintegrated. They're like paper.

[Danny Hyperson]

But then it's like if I pull out a bottle and I start taking pills, like, that's also weird. So anyway, shout so Noki. There you go.

[Danny Kelly]

So just pretend it's a zinner or something.

[Craig]

Yeah, you got to try Go the Milky Way.

[Danny Hyperson]

Damn, that's good.

[Craig]

But maybe they wouldn't do that, right?

[Danny Hyperson]

Because of the candy Bar has dairy in it. Maybe that's the point. Flywheel.

[Craig]

They should pair up. Maybe they should just jam milkies inside of Milky Ways.

[Danny Kelly]

What do they taste like? Heitz? Are they delicious?

[Danny Hyperson]

It's just. No, you don't taste it.

[Craig]

Hiz. What do you think if they made candy bars that had lactate in the coating of the.

[Danny Hyperson]

Well, they do that. They do that with milk. Like milk la. Like they sell milk that has like the, like lack like lactase free milk. So it's like regular cow's milk, but they just basically take the crushed up pills and just kind of add it to the milk so it tastes the same though.

[Craig]

I. Oh, is that. I thought they remove the lactose from the milk.

[Danny Hyperson]

So they say they remove the lactase, but what they're actually doing is they're. They're adding lactose is the enzyme. And they're adding an enzyme to break. So they're by quote unquote removing it. They're like deactivating. They're neutralizing.

[Craig]

Got it. Neutralizing by addition, not subtracting.

[Danny Hyperson]

Exactly. But it's interesting. Harder to explain that to say they.

[Craig]

Yeah, yeah. Okay.

[Danny Hyperson]

Anyway, Craig, I'm gonna flip this one on you for once.

[Craig]

Oh, really?

[Danny Kelly]

Hell yes.

[Danny Hyperson]

You love to put DK on the spot here, so.

[Craig]

How dare you.

[Danny Hyperson]

Justin Herbert, my guy. Justin Herbert and the Los Angeles Chargers lost to The Jacksonville Jaguars 35 to 6. Embarrassed. Justin Herbert, three fantasy points. Craig. Greg, is this a fart or a shart for Justin Herbert?

[Craig]

Depends on the context, I think.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, now you're asking for a little.

[Craig]

Here's what I was saying.

[Danny Hyperson]

Oh, now he wants nuance.

[Craig]

Okay, you know what? Fine. Bullies. It's a shart. I think it's a shart.

[Danny Kelly]

No, it's not.

[Craig]

I do. Well, here's what I mean by context. Do I think that this team can make any kind of impact in the playoffs? I don't.

[Danny Hyperson]

Do.

[Craig]

I think Justin Herbert is going to be awesome in fantasy down the stretch? I don't. So in that regard, it is a fart. I mean, it is a Shark, dude. They lost 35 to 6. The Jags. I don't know what it is, but there's something about the Chargers flying to Florida. Doesn't work. They can't do it. It doesn't work.

[Danny Kelly]

Like, I love that you called that.

[Craig]

I did.

[Danny Hyperson]

I just. I know what the. Is this guy talking about people, you can't go to Florida every now and then.

[Danny Kelly]

Don't let them go back to Florida ever.

[Danny Hyperson]

Every now and then. There's some football narrative. I just don't get. Someone. Someone here at the ringer made the point. Yeah, you know, Justin Herbert's gonna play. It's gonna be like 78 degrees. And I'm like, this seems fine.

[Craig]

What was their point?

[Danny Hyperson]

That he can't play in Florida. And I was like, Frank said that. I'm like, why did people. And then. And I was like, that's kind of. Doesn't make any sense to me. And then I watched this game.

[Craig]

I'm like, man, dude. Justin Herbert, I said earlier today, I said Lamar had the worst fantasy performance of his career. Today was the worst fantasy performance of Justin Herbert's career. Rare. He had three fantasy points today, mind you. Seven days ago, Davis Mills scored 27 points, mind you, against the Jags. And today, Justin Herbert, 81 yards and a pick. He had zero passing yards in the second half. Zero.

[Danny Kelly]

Carlos pipes in here. That's why the Dolphins didn't make the wrong pick by passing on Herbert.

[Craig]

Oh, yeah, right. Yeah. You guys are crushing it. It.

[Danny Kelly]

He's like, he would never have succeeded.

[Craig]

Look, I. I don't think this is an indictment on Herbert, anything like that. I. I genuinely think that, like, I. I can't remember a team where every year I go, yeah, this excuse also counts. We have to wait another year. Like the offensive line, six seasons of wait till next year. And I think every year, I. You can make a real case for it.

[Danny Hyperson]

The. I think that the Chargers problem, obviously, the offensive line has been obliterated, but they also, Also. We've talked about that a ton. Obviously, left tackle, right tackle, third string. For, like, they have all these. They've freaking. They're walking wounded out there at the offensive line. The defensive line, though, is also just really underperforming. And I just feel like the, The. Frankly, the Chargers just. I feel like they just get bullied. And the interior defensive line, and, And. And they are not capable right now of playing football the way that Jim harbor wants to play football. Like he said, today, we lost every way you could possibly be beat. We were out physical, but they kind of get out physical a lot. And I just feel like the Chargers, they need a lot more beef. Obviously, they need healthier tackles, but I just. I don't know. It's just you. You watch certain teams, and I just. I just feel like the Chargers just. They're never really in control of anything.

[Craig]

It's just funny because that week one game in Brazil against the Chiefs, I was, like, ready to risk it all, as the kids say. I Was like, dude, this is going to be a top two seed in the afc. Herbert's win the mvp and they have a, like, they are legitimately in the running to win the Super Bowl. And I, I believe you said the.

[Danny Kelly]

Chargers aren't doing the Chargers thing anymore.

[Craig]

Yes. We thought they broke the curse.

[Danny Hyperson]

Sweet summer child.

[Danny Kelly]

Nope.

[Craig]

The worst fantasy performance of his career against the fucking Jags.

[Danny Kelly]

What are the Jags, by the way? What are they?

[Danny Hyperson]

The good, bad team.

[Danny Kelly]

Don't know what to make of the Jags.

[Danny Hyperson]

They're the, they're the bad team that beats the other bad teams. But they're not good.

[Danny Kelly]

Good.

[Craig]

Yeah, I agree with that.

[Danny Kelly]

Or should Jags fans. I mean, obviously after this game they are, but like in general for this season, there's reason for positivity. Right. But after last week, I think people were pretty apoplectic.

[Craig]

I think the Jags, unfortunately, I, I think as long as they have Trevor Lawrence, they're. You're going to be stuck in that no man's land of like, can't win with them.

[Danny Hyperson]

Can't win without Josh Allen. Hines became the all time. A lot of weird records this week, but Josh Allen Hines became the all. Sorry, Josh Hines. Al Allen. Josh Allen just rolls off the. Tom Binner. Josh Hines. Allen became the all time leader for sacks for the Jaguars, which he's good, but also he's not that old. And it kind of threw me off. And I know the Jags aren't that old, but this dude, how he's like 28, kind of threw me off a little bit. But yeah, I guess it makes sense. But that between. Travis Kelsey became the all time leader in touchdowns for the Chiefs. And after the game he was like, don't talk to me about this. I'm not really happy about it.

[Danny Kelly]

It.

[Danny Hyperson]

And then the other one was Mark Andrews just became the all time receiving leader for the Ravens today.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

And I was like, oh, yeah, that is.

[Craig]

Why didn't Kean Allen recently just do that for the Chargers?

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Danny Hyperson]

And even that one was like a little pop bass and like, yeah, it was just a lot of weird, meaningless records. But yeah, Herbert threw for 81 yards.

[Craig]

Correct.

[Danny Kelly]

10, 10 completions.

[Craig]

I'm telling you, it was the worst game.

[Danny Hyperson]

I also think he had his stat line.

[Danny Kelly]

I'm like, what the. Just what happened in this?

[Craig]

11 minutes left in the game. They're like, ah, we're good.

[Danny Hyperson]

Kimani Vidal got hurt in this game and I don't think that helps them. Like, I don't think it helps that they're They're. I mean what is that? That means they're down to their fourth string running back. No, no fist. Naji Harris. I have to count Naji Harris, Omari Hampton, Hasan Haskins, Kamani Vidal. So J, I guess Jarrett Patterson. I mean, yeah, people have never heard of Amar Johnson. I don't even know who that is. I have a Trayon Williams. Like I can't believe he's on the charger. Like this is fifth and sixth string running backs. So good for him. I mean Trey Lance had to play this game. But the problem to me is that the Jaguars ran all over them. So. Yeah, T. T was really good.

[Craig]

Almost debutante for Tootin, but he, he got hurt.

[Danny Hyperson]

We. Yeah, we'll have to talk about him on waivers. We don't have a timeline.

[Craig]

Tut was loose for a while there.

[Danny Hyperson]

He beat Tootin.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Danny Hyperson]

He snuck out not far to Shard. He just beat.

[Craig]

Yeah, no one.

[Danny Hyperson]

Okay, fine.

[Craig]

That's.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, that's fine.

[Danny Hyperson]

Sorry.

[Danny Kelly]

Good.

[Danny Hyperson]

Intrusive thoughts. My intrusive thought today watching Giants packers was I thought Malik Willis played significantly better than Jordan Love. And I felt that when Jordan Love returned to the game, the Giants had a better chance to win.

[Danny Kelly]

I had the same exact thought. Not that I really felt it or believed it, but I had the thought.

[Danny Hyperson]

I know that's wrong, but I felt that way.

[Craig]

I mean, what they were two and oh, last year with Malik.

[Danny Hyperson]

Yeah, just Jordan Love. It's. There's something he. I, I don't know. Blake Willis came in and he just looked like a better quarterback. Threw a great touchdown to Christian Watson.

[Craig]

There are a lot of quarterbacks in this league with big contracts with a lot of talent and you watch them play and you're like, you're not the. I don't know.

[Danny Hyperson]

And it's weird because I don't know if Malik Willis can throw a football, but he could today.

[Craig]

Yeah, I think we need. Should there be less teams? I don't like all the bad teams. Like, it's not fun. Quarterback's so hard. There's only like 15 good ones. I think you said 15 teams.

[Danny Hyperson]

I got it. It should be, it should be like.

[Craig]

Make them all good. That'd be fun.

[Danny Hyperson]

It should be like the rule with the Bills fantasy league where they have 13 teams in a 12 team league and if you come in last, like, you don't get. We should just pick a team right on the eve of the season and be like, you guys don't get to.

[Craig]

Play this year or last place in every division Gets cut each year. So you lose eight teams every year. So there's only 24 teams in the league, and the last place of each division has to sit the year out.

[Danny Hyperson]

So what happens when the Giants come in last every year? They just don't play.

[Craig]

It's never play.

[Danny Hyperson]

Yeah, that's a good dream, actually. Probably would save a lot of time.

[Craig]

Sounds good to me.

[Danny Kelly]

Think about all the hobbies you could get into.

[Danny Hyperson]

Oh, my God.

[Craig]

Woodworking, bird watching.

[Danny Hyperson]

Make so much. Yeah. Can make so much bread.

[Craig]

And that's real happiness. Yeah.

[Danny Hyperson]

I would love to get into woodworking. It's gonna be my. Would you? Yeah. No, that's gonna be my old person thing. Jack.

[Craig]

We had carpentry in my high school as a class, but I didn't take it shop.

[Danny Hyperson]

Yeah, I did shop instead of a did shop. And I somehow got out of music so I could do wood shop. It's like a free period with power tools and songs. It was pretty sick.

[Danny Kelly]

That is always wild to me that they have that in high school.

[Danny Hyperson]

I know.

[Danny Kelly]

They're like irresponsible kids.

[Danny Hyperson]

Use a table saw, something like in 10th grade. It's great, though. It was a good time. Jackie can do stained glass, and so I think she's gonna try. I know that's cool. Is very cool. It's a crazy process, but I love.

[Craig]

Niche weird skills like that.

[Danny Hyperson]

It's wild. Yeah. So I'm gonna try to do woodwork. I'm gonna. You know, you start with making stuff for the pets where, you know, if it's ugly, it doesn't matter. And then you progress to people.

[Craig]

When the world goes to shit, I need a tangible trade, you know, that's why I'm making bread, so I can feed people, so they keep them around.

[Danny Kelly]

Craig, you can type.

[Craig]

I can type. Yeah. I did take typing in middle school.

[Danny Hyperson]

Did you?

[Danny Kelly]

Dude, I was learning to make bread so I could eat, so they keep me around. Oh, that's really good.

[Danny Hyperson]

Oh, my God. I could barely type.

[Danny Kelly]

You can't kill him. He makes bread head.

[Craig]

Yeah, well, it's like the guy on Survivor. They never vote the guy off who can fish. They need him.

[Danny Hyperson]

It's true.

[Craig]

He makes it to the the round when they all combine. Like, if you can deliver food, they keep you around. Tales old as time.

[Danny Hyperson]

Daniel, he is suddenly very worried about his inability to do anything other. Kiss.

[Craig]

Unless you can make a tortilla from scratch, buddy, those case it is. Ain't going to work.

[Danny Kelly]

God.

[Danny Hyperson]

All right. Any other intrusive thoughts today, Craig?

[Craig]

Yeah, I Think it. It. It. I can't explain it really, but I feel like sometimes the refs and the clock just like FA favor drama. Like today in the Rams Seahawks game, there was clearly a delay of game and they just didn't call it because it was an important play. And I. I believe that in my bones that they're like half a beat, but it was like a se. It was. It was clear, blatant delay of game to me.

[Danny Kelly]

Me.

[Craig]

And they were like, nah, this is like third and eight and they're down seven. Like, Darnold needs to snap this.

[Danny Hyperson]

I think that's good. And that's how it should be refed. I. I think that's good. Referee should.

[Craig]

Absolutely.

[Danny Kelly]

It's not a design. It's a design, not a bug or whatever.

[Craig]

Dude, there was another one.

[Danny Hyperson]

It's a product.

[Craig]

There was another really bad one today. It's why. Because there was two. There was the Darnold delay game, and then there was. Ah, fuck. I didn't write this down. There was somebody who got out of bounds or they went down with 1.

[Danny Kelly]

Second left and they called the timeout. Yeah, we hacked at the very end of the game.

[Danny Hyperson]

It was how the seats got the 61 yard field and the clock operator.

[Danny Kelly]

In LA, like, really quickly, like, hit the stop button, like, gave them an extra second.

[Craig]

That was so clearly at zero.

[Danny Hyperson]

No.

[Craig]

Here.

[Danny Hyperson]

Craig, you know what's weird is technically, I don't know exactly this works, but tk isn't it the home team's clock operator? It's not like an objective league official. I think it's like that person kind of is like a team.

[Danny Kelly]

I don't know on the equipment.

[Craig]

Dude.

[Danny Kelly]

Manager.

[Craig]

That was the longest second I've ever witnessed.

[Danny Hyperson]

Craig, I agree with what you're saying. They do juice it. Do you know the Eagles have. Or I think the Ravens, I forget, who have multiple. Multiple times introduced. They want decimals to the time on the clock. Like the NBA.

[Danny Kelly]

What is this, 1940s NBA?

[Danny Hyperson]

Multiple times. The NFL has been like, nah, we kind of like just having 2, 1, 0. And I think this is why we.

[Craig]

Can fucking do what we want.

[Danny Hyperson]

Don't want you to know that. It was like 0.1 seconds left when they called the timeout.

[Craig]

Like maybe under a minute. We have decimals or something. I don't know.

[Danny Hyperson]

Dk, did you have any more intrusive thoughts today?

[Danny Kelly]

I did start to think, think, what would the game have been like today if the Seahawks had kept Gino.

[Craig]

Oh, my goodness. Wow, that's depressing.

[Danny Kelly]

I don't actually feel that way, but, like, I did have thoughts.

[Craig]

It's a safe, safe space.

[Danny Hyperson]

Wow.

[Craig]

Was it after. After which interception did you think that?

[Danny Kelly]

The fourth one.

[Craig]

Oh, it took four. That's good.

[Danny Kelly]

Well, I mean, he's like, he's got, he's. He's got a lot of leeway because of what he's done prior, but the turnovers really are a problem.

[Craig]

Gino, like, lead the NFL and turnover.

[Danny Hyperson]

Not anymore.

[Danny Kelly]

No, he doesn't. You know who does? Fucking Sam Darnold.

[Craig]

Oh, God.

[Danny Kelly]

No, I'm. I'm. I'm like 99% kidding. But. But yeah, my, my fun thing.

[Danny Hyperson]

That's what the intrusive is. The one.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Craig]

My one last quick intrusive thought is I was like, maybe the Steelers should design their entire offense around Darnell Washington.

[Danny Kelly]

Like, I love this.

[Craig]

Every time they throw him, something amazing happens. He had an incredible run catching run today. He like, he like Derek Henry to guy to the ground, like, bullied through another guy. I'm like, build the whole plane out of Darnell Washington. Maybe we'll be fine.

[Danny Hyperson]

I think when he plays half the snaps, the Steelers are like undefeated.

[Craig]

Yes. I'm like, just fucking.

[Danny Hyperson]

He is, he is, he is.

[Craig]

He's good.

[Danny Hyperson]

He's just like, he. They always say Trent Williams could have been a left tackle or could have been a tight end. And then I'm like watching Jordan Washington, I'm like, maybe they should have made Trent Williams at that end.

[Craig]

He's got good hands too. I don't know.

[Danny Kelly]

I felt, I feel vindicated with what they've done with Darnell Washington of thinking he was like a first round talent when he was coming out because he fell to. What was it, the third round or something like that?

[Craig]

Second round.

[Danny Kelly]

Second round, I think it was. But, man, I remember like, people were talking about him like he's the next Gronk and that person was me In A. Yeah.

[Craig]

Third round. You're right.

[Danny Hyperson]

Third round. 93rd. End of the third round.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

He's just so big.

[Danny Hyperson]

He. The way he, he. He made a couple Bengals defenders today look very, very stupid.

[Craig]

He very small.

[Danny Kelly]

He. He on that one catch where he broke like three or four tackles or whatever. The last guy that he hit, I don't remember who it was, literally went flying like five or six feet.

[Danny Hyperson]

He's.

[Danny Kelly]

He went flying out of bounds like a long way like, like, you don't see that very often on the NFL field where a guy like gets run over so bad.

[Craig]

He legitimately went Flying like the entire offensive.

[Danny Kelly]

Like he got horizontal to the ground. Like somebody uppercut him.

[Craig]

Why are we not, like, every play, the. The goal of the offense should be to get him on a crosser and give him a ball.

[Danny Kelly]

Rumbling.

[Danny Hyperson]

I totally agree that it was so cartoonish. It was the people bouncing off him. Like, I've never seen people ricochet off of human being.

[Danny Kelly]

How much does he weigh? Like 375 pounds.

[Craig]

He's like 280, dude.

[Danny Hyperson]

I'd believe anything he told me about that guy. Oh, my God.

[Craig]

We better resign him. The other one was amazing.

[Danny Hyperson]

No. God, he just got dk. You remember he just got drafted to.

[Craig]

No, this is year ago.

[Danny Kelly]

Year two. This is year three, Right?

[Craig]

Year three. This is year three.

[Danny Hyperson]

Get the out. No, my memory's bad. Oh, it is his third year. Yeah, you better resign.

[Craig]

Probably resign him this summer.

[Danny Hyperson]

You better resign him. Yeah, you're right. Wow. God, time flies. He's so big. Ick of the week. I had. I had a couple icks. They were both in the cheese Broncos game one was. Who's 31 on the Chiefs. I actually meant to look this up after the game. He was trying to do a jersey swap with Bo Nicks, and he could. Jeffrey trying to. Oh, from Oregon. They went to college together. Could not get his pads off. This poor guy could not get his pads off. Could not. It took him so long, and he just, like. You know, it's like you're getting.

[Danny Kelly]

Trying to get a wetsuit off. It's really hard.

[Craig]

It's like seeing a celebrity and trying to, like, open up your phone. Like, the one time the camera, like, isn't opening, and you're like.

[Danny Hyperson]

It was. I. I had so much secondhand cringe for this guy.

[Danny Kelly]

Hold on. It's asking me to put in a password.

[Danny Hyperson]

Hold on, hold on, hold on. I have to delete some photos. Yeah, so that was tough. The other one was. Did you guys see the. Where they cut to Cortland Sutton right after a catch? He had a big catch in the fourth quarter, and they cut to him, and like, every now and then, they just. Bad timing. And he just, like, does it. George just like, spits in his hands and just kind of, like, rubs it on his gloves and, like, it was a little. Little horrifying. Just right. Just right after, like, that ball's disgusting.

[Craig]

He should be suspended for that.

[Danny Hyperson]

Anyway. Dick, any ick.

[Danny Kelly]

I already mentioned it. Keaton Mitchell, volleyball. Setting a pass 8ft in the air. That was tough. I won't. I won't talk about him being back on the Ravens anymore, my ick.

[Craig]

Michael Penix did this today. I didn't realize it, that I felt this way until today. Now that we have this category when a quarterback gets hurt, but that. But they're healthy enough to keep their pads on and just stand on the sideline.

[Danny Kelly]

This is what I call the Jay Cutler. Jay Cutler's like, walking around like, no invisible loop.

[Craig]

Michael Pennix had, like, a headset on. He was laughing. I'm like, get in the game. Be in the locker room with a brace on or you're in the game. My guy, are you doing? He's just standing there watching. Kirk Cousins at least.

[Danny Kelly]

Like, look like you're in pain.

[Craig]

Yeah. I'm like, sit on the bench and look her. You're standing with your knee bruised. Yeah. It's like, oh. When they come out in street clothes after the injury, I'm like, okay, he's fully loaded, headset, laughing right on the edge of the turf. Like, he's on. He's basically on the field. He's so close.

[Danny Kelly]

Couldn't really work.

[Danny Hyperson]

Craig. I like that a lot.

[Danny Kelly]

This is coming from someone who watched Ben Roethlisberger play for. For years and years.

[Craig]

Get your ass in the game.

[Danny Kelly]

Ben Roethlisberger, every game would get hurt and then go back in.

[Craig]

Ben's ankle would turn 180 degrees second quarter, and I'd be like, he's gonna be better in the second half.

[Danny Hyperson]

Ben would get. He. Ben would take a shot on person just to get loaded up with whatever they had in the locker room. So you feel something stop.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. He's the, like, the guy in street fights who needs to get punched first to, like, get mad.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Danny Hyperson]

Oh, my God. Play of the day. I mean, the best play had to be, I mean, Mark Andrews taking the fake.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, yeah. Redemption.

[Craig]

That was sweet for our boy Mark.

[Danny Kelly]

Mark. I mean, that was sick. It was a. Was it fourth and one or third and one?

[Craig]

I can't remember.

[Danny Kelly]

Fourth, fourth and one. Pretend they get all lined up in the. In the tush push, and then he takes the ball immediately, like, does a play action handoff fake, and then just boots around and he had. He got. He needed one block, and then he just beat everybody to the corner. It was actually very impressive.

[Craig]

The tush push might be worth it because I love. I love now watching the iterations coming off of the tush push. Like, now people are starting to innovate and come up with all these fake tush pushes, which I really like.

[Danny Kelly]

This is what they, like, change The. The angles.

[Danny Hyperson]

This is why I. I wanted the tush push to stay in the beginning. And Steven Reeves did a good job talking about the tush push is the beginning of football. The tush push is like the single cell organism that.

[Craig]

Right. It was like hike it and go and move forward.

[Danny Kelly]

Forward.

[Danny Hyperson]

Push him. Shove them. And they're like, what if you pretended all football developed all the same way?

[Craig]

It's like we developed the primordial ooze which football began.

[Danny Hyperson]

And the Mark Andrews thing was like the first genetic mut. This goddamn play.

[Craig]

What if we. What if one time we didn't push and we. And we faked it and ran the other way?

[Danny Kelly]

So it's like, throw it.

[Danny Hyperson]

We're just gonna like slowly reinvent the entire button.

[Craig]

Yeah, we're just going back to the tush.

[Danny Hyperson]

Oh, my God. Maybe we have to keep this thing.

[Danny Kelly]

The tushbush is the trad wife of football.

[Craig]

Harrison Bucker loves the tush push. Barefoot and pregnant, standing over the stove.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, God. Maybe Mark Andrews is back. I feel like I like Mark Andrews again. Back into it.

[Craig]

That was good. I also want to shout out my play of the day. Ethan Evans is a man I didn't know existed.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh, my God. I had this too.

[Craig]

Craig, he's the punter for the Rams. It was the most accurate pun I've ever seen in my life. It was a crucial moment of the game it played. Bounced straight up at the one, right down. The guy grabbed it, went out of it was unbelievable. Never seen Perfect.

[Danny Kelly]

About 6 inches away from the pylon. If it hits the pylon, it is a touchback. And it just landed right about and it gave the Seahawks. They had to go. Well, they didn't have to go 99 yards. Cause they. They had to hit a field goal. But I looked at the game book. It took them over a minute of gameplay to get out past the 20i.

[Craig]

After that kind of shoddy clock management there by Darnold and them. But if that. If that ball goes into the end zone, the Seahawks probably win that game.

[Danny Hyperson]

Yes, Greg, Ol.

[Danny Kelly]

I think there's a very good chance.

[Danny Hyperson]

Yes, Greg Ola nailed it. Considering the fact that if you bounce the ball and it hits the pylon that it's a touchback. You could stand over the pylon and not actually get the ball. You could just drop the ball and you could probably not get it closer right than the Rams. And to that point, is that the best punt ever?

[Craig]

Probably.

[Danny Hyperson]

Like, was that just the best punt of all time?

[Craig]

Time Great. It.

[Danny Kelly]

It, like, it like that makes me feel so good.

[Craig]

Well, it like reached the level of like, you can't come up with a better one. So all of the other greatest punts of all time are just the exact same. Like, it's a 99.

[Danny Kelly]

You can do better than that.

[Danny Hyperson]

Yeah, it's just the perfect punt. And also it literally pinned them for the game winning drive. So it wasn't for the super bowl anything but like for a regular season game. Made a divisional rivalry to take ladies, like basically the best punt ever. So. Sorry, dk. Any other great plays here?

[Danny Kelly]

Puka made a really impressive catch early in the game where he. I. I don't understand how he got his other foot down. Some of these guys body control is absolutely ridiculous. We've seen a few of these catches both in college and in the NFL over the last few weeks where I'm like, I don't understand how you got your other foot down that it doesn't seem physically possible.

[Craig]

That the Indiana guy, what's his name?

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, that.

[Danny Hyperson]

His name was incredible.

[Danny Kelly]

Well, that one, it was like he levitated and like stuck his foot down.

[Danny Hyperson]

Can we play it? Can we play the thing? Yeah.

[Craig]

Looking.

[Danny Hyperson]

And it's intercepted at the goal line. Unbelievable. Wow. Wow. Jack Sawyer.

[Craig]

Sawyer the hero.

[Danny Hyperson]

Captain Jack.

[Craig]

Captain Jack. We did get tagged. There was an Eric Collins moment this weekend where he absolutely nuts for a lamelo dunk or three.

[Danny Hyperson]

Lamelo hit it three. Three to. To cut the lead to 41.

[Craig]

Yeah, he lost his.

[Danny Kelly]

No, it was a sick dunk. I think it was a dunk.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Omar Cooper was the receiver, by the way, for Indiana. Oh, Mark.

[Danny Hyperson]

Anyway, other announcer stuff, though. Other than just, God, Tony Romo just never. The fact that no one's given Tony Roma the note that Steve Spagnolo's name is not Spagnola.

[Craig]

Oh, I bet you they have. It's like, you know parents who say like, Chipotle instead of Chipotle. How many times have their parents have their kids been like, dad, it's Chipotle. Boat light. It's just. It is what it is.

[Danny Kelly]

People don't change.

[Danny Hyperson]

People don't change.

[Craig]

He's a dad. I can't wait to start saying shit wrong.

[Danny Hyperson]

I know. Join the club. Come on in, the water's fine. The other announcer thing that happened to me, I couldn't get over today was. Today we crossed an important threshold, which is I think this season the term get off has gone from a way to talk about defensive ends in draft world prospects, that stuff, and now it's like announcers are talking about guys get offs during games, and we gotta hold the beach on this.

[Danny Kelly]

No more of it.

[Craig]

What's wrong?

[Danny Kelly]

Sexualize it even more.

[Danny Hyperson]

What's wrong with that dude there? You know why? I'll tell you what happened, Craig. All I was hearing about was how these de. Talk about how these defensive ends, dude, man, these Denver Broncos, they're Get off on these guys. It's so fast. These guys have the fastest get off off. And then they cut to some pass interference, and they cut to Jean Ster, and they're like, he's riding that wide receiver. He's riding the receiver. This is out of control. I can't believe how hard he's riding him. And I'm like, this is like the arrested development bit. It's like, you ride her. Don't be afraid to ride her.

[Craig]

I, for one, am. Am happy that we are praising a fast get off. I think that's important to normalize it.

[Danny Hyperson]

Normalize fast get offs.

[Craig]

We should talk about not only normalize it, but perhaps praise. Praise it.

[Danny Kelly]

You know, celebrate it, but not too soon.

[Danny Hyperson]

Not.

[Danny Kelly]

Not premature before the snap, Right?

[Danny Hyperson]

No, you don't.

[Danny Kelly]

You don't want to foul because that's illegal. We don't want to. We don't want to praise you for that. No, but you have to work on.

[Craig]

Once the play, once there's a snap, then as quickly as you can.

[Danny Kelly]

You can go quickly, as explosively as possible.

[Craig]

Look, the goal is to get to the quarter quarterback. You know what I mean?

[Danny Kelly]

The goal. Well, that's one of the goals. You also got to stop the run. Right.

[Craig]

I'm getting lost in these metaphors.

[Danny Hyperson]

That works.

[Danny Kelly]

You got to hold your gap and.

[Danny Hyperson]

Good gap or two gap.

[Craig]

You need to get off quick. Good bend.

[Danny Kelly]

You got to force the ball back in.

[Craig]

Yeah. Capture the.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Craig]

So. Right. Okay.

[Danny Kelly]

I like. I like all the sexual terms. H. It's.

[Danny Hyperson]

How do you guys feel when. When all the older announce such a puritan love with, like, B. Knicks failed to hook up with Troy Franklin there? And I'm like, how long are we gonna keep doing this?

[Craig]

I know my mom. My mom still does that. She's like, did you hook up with Chris last night? I'm like, no.

[Danny Hyperson]

Shut up, Mom.

[Craig]

It's not with. I hung out with him, all right?

[Danny Kelly]

For the millionth time, we didn't do that.

[Craig]

Did you do that?

[Danny Hyperson]

Is wrong with you?

[Craig]

You. Did you ever hook up with Chris? That was a long time ago. Mom.

[Danny Hyperson]

Told you that confidence.

[Craig]

Just order chipot and. And Be done with it.

[Danny Hyperson]

Hook up with your friends.

[Craig]

God.

[Danny Hyperson]

Email us at ringer fantasy football gmail.com if your parents use like that. Still like the hook gun. It's led to a good story.

[Craig]

Also, let me know. Email us if your parents mispronounce really simple, funny words.

[Danny Hyperson]

Yes.

[Craig]

I want to know their mispronouncing associations.

[Danny Hyperson]

Yeah, parents.

[Danny Kelly]

A lot of people here say Washington for some reason.

[Danny Hyperson]

That's an accent, though.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Craig]

No, we're not talking accent. We're talking like straight up. You just getting it wrong.

[Danny Hyperson]

Yeah, they just get it wrong. Yeah, yeah.

[Craig]

Like you're missing a letter.

[Danny Kelly]

Got it. Well, they're adding an R. It's like.

[Craig]

How everybody says my last name. Like some people like whole.

[Danny Kelly]

Whole Brook Hogback.

[Danny Hyperson]

Clark Hogback.

[Craig]

Clark. If I ever get into adult film, it's going to be Clark Hogback.

[Danny Hyperson]

Well, you're getting.

[Craig]

I started only fans.

[Danny Hyperson]

You're gonna be more like Tick tock.

[Craig]

That's true. Vine. I'm coming back for Vine. Let me the king of Vine.

[Danny Hyperson]

Any other announcer stuff? Worst play of the day.

[Craig]

Can I add er to play and pick Shador Sanders, who was terrible today. Holy hell. Oh, man.

[Danny Kelly]

Holy hell.

[Craig]

That was, that was. I mean, I mean, somebody, my buddy texted me, like, shador Sanders is doing a remarkable job of turning 10 yard sacks into 20 yard sacks.

[Danny Hyperson]

Shador, literally, if you added up, played five drives and gained four yards.

[Craig]

Yeah, man, four. He was four for 16.

[Danny Hyperson]

You know, I mean, could have been worse.

[Danny Kelly]

No. You know, after the game, all the reporters were forced. They were forced to ask if he was going to remain the star harder going forward.

[Craig]

As a formality, they had to ask.

[Danny Kelly]

And they got out ahead of it. Stefanski was like, no, he will not be.

[Craig]

And Stefansky said this was the first snap he's played with the first team all year. Was in the game.

[Danny Hyperson]

Yeah, probably because he sucks. He's not a first team player. It's funny because when he first came. What's funny is he played terribly and the Ravens really almost lost this game.

[Craig]

There was a drive there where he made like two throws in a row.

[Danny Kelly]

And it was like, oh man, the discourse would have been amazing if they would have won.

[Danny Hyperson]

Well, speaking of this game, can I, can I do a brief interlude while we're on Ravens Browns here? I would like to do the sh. Otani tweet of the day for the. In honor of the person who, the brilliant person who said every time you see an Angels highlight, it's like Mike Trout hit three home runs and raised his average to.528. While S.H. otani did something that hasn't been done since Tungsten Armo Doyle of the 1921 Akan Grooms as the Tigers defeated the Angels 8 to 3.

[Craig]

One of the all time tweets raced.

[Danny Kelly]

His average to 5. 28.

[Danny Hyperson]

I would like to nominate this thing I saw. Miles Garrett had four sacks today. Giving Garrett 10 sacks in his last three games. Passing Lawrence Taylor as the first player ever to have 12 sacks in six straight seasons as the Browns lost to the Ravens 23 to 16. He's going to break the sack record this year.

[Danny Kelly]

He's on pace for like 25.

[Danny Hyperson]

He might break the sack record in like 14 games. And they're going to win two games.

[Craig]

Didn't he. He had like five in a game like two, two weeks ago. Didn't he?

[Danny Hyperson]

He has 10 sacks in three games.

[Craig]

What is he at right now? What's his total?

[Danny Hyperson]

He's at like 15. He needs seven and a half more for the record in like seven. In like six games or whatever.

[Craig]

Whatever. Yeah. Yeah. He's got 15. Wow.

[Danny Hyperson]

He's gonna break the sack record or they're gonna win two games.

[Craig]

He has to win defensive player of the year if he sack record. Right? Yes.

[Danny Hyperson]

They're gonna win defensive rookie of the year too. Maybe it's Carson. I think it's gonna be Carson Schinger or the. Or Nick Gam and war. The Seahawks. It's gonna be one of them. It's not gonna be Abdul Carter. So that's funny. Other worst play of the day. God. The Giants lost this game today because Jaylen Hyatt cut off his route in the end zone with Jamis Witten with.

[Danny Kelly]

The game because it wasn't Lil Jordan.

[Danny Hyperson]

I hate Jaylen Hyatt. They need to cut him tomorrow. And I. For those who don't know. I. I gave a rant on Friday that not gonna lie. I was right. Incredibly prescient. The Broncos poaching little Jordan. The. The Giants fucking lost this game because they're cowards and they're so afraid. This. I guess the point of my rant was that it sounds crazy but the Giants don't maximize putting the best roster together. My rant was the Giants literally do care more about managing the media than just building the best team. And a weird example of that was without they will not cut Jalen Hyatt cause he was a third round pick and they're afraid they'll be made fun of in the media and it would. And guess what? What?

[Craig]

Like who the fuck would make fun of the Giants cut Jalen Hyatt, the guy they spent a third round pick on three years ago. Embarrassing. Who's writing that?

[Danny Hyperson]

And you say that no one would.

[Danny Kelly]

No one would claim him and they could put him on the practice squad.

[Danny Hyperson]

And you would say that. And yet, guess what? Brian D. Was fired and Joe Shane stayed. Because the Giants owners clearly care about the media. So unfortunately, they were right. But here's the cost of it. They keep Jalen Hyde on the roster, and then Lil Jordan Humphrey's the practice squad. Squad. They won't sign little Jordan Humphrey because he would take up the spot. This is why they didn't have a fucking kicker. And they'd have a backup kicker when Graham Go gets hurt. Because they need to have little Jordan Humphrey on this practice squad. So they lose the Broncos game in regulation. Cause they didn't put a kicker on the practice squad. Cause little Jordan Humphrey's there. Because they can't sign them. So they lose the Broncos game in part because they don't have a fucking kicker. Then this week, they need Darius Slayton's out. And they need freaking little Jordan Humphrey. And guess what? The Broncos sign little Jordan Humphrey so Jaylen Hyatt has to play. You know what? Little Jalen Hyatt does it this game. Jaylen Hyatt with the game on the line is like, well, I'm covered, so I'll stop. And then Jameis Winston threw the goddamn ball. And the packers just fucking fielded it like a punt. Cause Jaylen Hyatt didn't run to the fucking ball.

[Danny Kelly]

He didn't finish his route.

[Danny Hyperson]

Didn't finish his route. And he had a bunch of other mistakes that messed up the spacing of other plays. That Amani tumor, who's like a Giants legend, went through and just like, he just. I. I just. It wasn't even like, did he do anything. Giants receipt. Like legendary receivers afterwards. Like, you know, young man, this is what you need for more reps. Anyway. I ca. Like, the Giants have lost multiple games this year. Cause they haven't caught this motherfucker.

[Craig]

That's a good loss. You guys have the second pick now?

[Danny Hyperson]

Yeah, they should keep. They should be the starting quarterback. Do they really have the second pick?

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Are you serious? Oh, my God.

[Danny Hyperson]

That's the Titans.

[Craig]

And then you guys.

[Danny Hyperson]

That was really sad. Did you see how excited I just got about that?

[Craig]

You're like, whoa, wait, maybe we get somebody good.

[Danny Hyperson]

That was really embarrassing.

[Craig]

Get a good tackle.

[Danny Hyperson]

It was a huge ick.

[Danny Kelly]

Abdul Carter, coach's decision missed the first quarter or something. What was that? Did you see that high?

[Craig]

Fitz?

[Danny Hyperson]

We gotta get the second pick. This episode is brought to you by LinkedIn Ads. The best B2B marketing gets wasted on the wrong people. So when you want to reach the right professionals, use LinkedIn ads. LinkedIn has grown to a network of over 1 billion professionals, including 100 decision makers. And that's where it stands apart from other ad buys. You can target your buyers by job title, industry, company role, seniority skills, company revenue. So you can stop wasting budget on the wrong audience. It's why LinkedIn Ads generates the highest B2B return on ad spend of all online ad networks. Seriously, all of them. Spend $250 in your first campaign on LinkedIn ads and get a free $250 credit for the next one. Just go to LinkedIn.com RingerFantasy that is LinkedIn.com Ringer fantasy terms and conditions apply. This episode is brought to you by Whole Foods Market. At Whole Foods Market, you'll find great.

[Danny Kelly]

Everyday prices for this Thanksgiving.

[Danny Hyperson]

Check out their 365 brand. No antibiotics ever. Turkeys start at 149 a pound with prime with organic birds at $2.99 a pound. You'll find Thanksgiving essentials like condensed soups. I love those. Instant mashed potatoes like those too. Organic baking spices. Plus low prices on everything else you need from fresh produce to frozen appetizers.

[Danny Kelly]

Enjoy.

[Danny Hyperson]

So many ways to save on your Thanksgiving spread at Whole Foods Market. Terms apply. Stadium Pulse of the Week I thought the biggest stadium pulse honestly was Tua. After the game in Washington, Madrid to today was asked if he'd like to play anywhere else and he said he would love to play a football game in Jerusalem.

[Craig]

Didn't he say like that'd be awesome or something?

[Danny Hyperson]

Yeah, he'd be like, that'd be sick guy. And I I mostly bring this up because I wanted to bring up the top reply to this, which was someone replied saying to a state solution.

[Danny Kelly]

Oh my God.

[Craig]

Which can we get? Somebody needs to get the mic out.

[Danny Kelly]

Of his letting him talk.

[Danny Hyperson]

I think he's having the worst press conference season in the history of press conference references.

[Craig]

Do you. Do you think he actually can't read the room?

[Danny Kelly]

So he definitely can't read a defense.

[Craig]

Dk, you're cooking today, dude. You think Jerusalem was the first city he could think of or did he actually mean that?

[Danny Hyperson]

That's actually a great question. Did he just mean that or was that the first? It's like with the Tik Tok shrine of like, name a woman.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, Joan of Arc.

[Craig]

Jerusalem, actually.

[Danny Kelly]

It's actually a really funny, like, meme format. Just name any woman.

[Danny Hyperson]

Name a woman. Can't be related to you.

[Craig]

Oprah.

[Danny Kelly]

Oprah Winfrey.

[Danny Hyperson]

Oh, my God.

[Danny Kelly]

Where would. Where do you guys want to play? What do you think? That'd be cool.

[Craig]

Let's go to Italy.

[Danny Hyperson]

I feel like you're like Kiev or something.

[Craig]

Give me a game in Rome or something. Let's play a game in the fucking Coliseum. Probably too small, but that'd be cool. You can't do that.

[Danny Kelly]

That would be sick, actually.

[Craig]

That'd be sick. Fucking break down the Coliseum. Play a game in there. He's fucking sick. Also, just to quickly interrupt for a second, Kai said that his dad calls Netflix, Netflix. Netflix, which is so much harder to say.

[Danny Hyperson]

Next Flicks.

[Craig]

Next flick. Mouthful.

[Danny Kelly]

It's like actually the perfect example.

[Danny Hyperson]

Yes, it's exactly what we want. Nextflix.

[Danny Kelly]

Next flick.

[Craig]

What on Netflix. Netflix. We should.

[Danny Hyperson]

We should do. When we go to Netflix, we should bring that up. We should pitch it to them.

[Craig]

Yeah. Hey, I'm like, ted, you should think of maybe changing a name.

[Danny Hyperson]

Kind of like, what's next?

[Danny Kelly]

They like that.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Danny Hyperson]

I think we mentioned.

[Danny Kelly]

I just like the idea that someone just never learns to what the actual word is for it. There's. I like my version more.

[Craig]

Kai, Kai, do you think you could text us. Kai, do you think if your dad had to spell out Netflix, he would spell it correctly, but he just still says Netflix? Yes. Okay. Yeah, he said yes, so he knows. He just said.

[Danny Kelly]

He just likes to call it nextflix.

[Danny Hyperson]

Nextflix. I get it though, because it's like next Movie.

[Craig]

Yeah. What is the next flick?

[Danny Hyperson]

It's kind of better. Makes more sense.

[Craig]

Maybe. That's probably what. Yeah. You know, it's not Internet flicks, it's Next Flick.

[Danny Hyperson]

Well, that's kind of. Now we're getting around. Get off and.

[Craig]

Yeah, that's my channel that I'm starting. Clark Hogback.

[Danny Kelly]

What was the Clark Hogback thing from?

[Craig]

There was a sign in, like, Virginia, wasn't it? Corner of Clark and Hogback or something.

[Danny Hyperson]

When I'm trying to remember that podcaster's name, but I'm not really. I'm close. Clark Hogback.

[Danny Kelly]

The Clark. The intersection of Clark and Hogback and there's some crazy ass name town in like Minnesota. And there's a prison right there.

[Craig]

Yeah, right. If I ever write an action movie, the lead is going to be named Clark Hogback.

[Danny Kelly]

Clark Hogback Pet Detective.

[Danny Hyperson]

The Lucille Bluth. I don't understand the stat line. I won't respond to it. We have to just give a shout out. Justin Fields is not long for this world. Like Justin Fields is going to get benched. And we have to acknowledge entering Thursday night football this week. Justin Fields who we have joked for years about being like a Navy service. I was up at 2 in the morning after the Thursday football game and I was bleary eyed and I thought I was like seeing shit. Justin Fields did in fact entering Thursday Football. Football. Have the exact amount of passing yards as the Navy quarterback this season. Literally just clicks to the number to the number 11. 43 yards. They do.

[Danny Kelly]

They have the running the Navy offense.

[Danny Hyperson]

Starting quarterback in the NFL. It's incredible. Anyway, just had to throw that out there too good.

[Craig]

I can't believe that the Midshipman Justin Fields.

[Danny Hyperson]

Thank you for your service. Justin Field.

[Danny Kelly]

Fields, the midshipman. I was not the Jets.

[Craig]

What is a midshipman?

[Danny Hyperson]

I was just about to ask what a midshipman. I imagine that.

[Danny Kelly]

I mean I think it's the. The guys that are doing their jobs around midship.

[Danny Hyperson]

The middle of like. Like the fire service. There's like an engine company and a ladder company and I imagine. I mean those are obvious parts of a truck. I imagine the midship's the part of the ship it. But I don't know.

[Danny Kelly]

My guess and I don't know my guess would be that it has. It's an archaic term from like the old days when they were on like olden time wooden ships with sails and whatnot.

[Craig]

Google says that it is a cadet in training. He's a midshipman.

[Danny Hyperson]

Okay. Two tight ends to outscore Kyle Pitts in a lie.

[Craig]

Dude, Pitts is not doing well these days.

[Danny Hyperson]

All right, are you guys ready for this?

[Craig]

Yeah. Pitts had like two points today.

[Danny Hyperson]

Well, speaking which two tight end shots, square kits and a lie. First up, Coulson Yankoff.

[Craig]

Nope.

[Danny Hyperson]

It's a real guy.

[Danny Kelly]

He fits. I thought you were tired of the sexual innuendo.

[Danny Hyperson]

Colson Yankoff.

[Craig]

He's the co star in the action movie with Clark Hogback. Colson Yankoff.

[Danny Kelly]

Yankoff.

[Craig]

These are like characters from Bo's name. I know.

[Danny Kelly]

It's too on the nose.

[Danny Hyperson]

Tanner Hudson. Hudson and Johnny Munt.

[Danny Kelly]

Tanner Hudson I barely know. Or Hudson Munt.

[Craig]

Is Munt still on the Vikings?

[Danny Kelly]

Johnny Munt.

[Craig]

What team is Mut?

[Danny Kelly]

I saw him do something. I'm telling you I didn't see. I didn't see any Yankoff happening. I'm gonna say yank off.

[Craig]

You didn't feel any.

[Danny Hyperson]

Can we put that on the Instagram story? I didn't see any Yankoff.

[Craig]

Yeah, I'll go yank off.

[Danny Hyperson]

Yeah. No, he didn't. I just wanted to put that there. He is a real guy. Can we get Colson Yankoff on the show?

[Craig]

Probably.

[Danny Hyperson]

If we. If we book him, would you. Could we do it and we just.

[Craig]

Laugh at his name and then tell him to go like yankoff? And he's like, yep, like, all right, see you later.

[Danny Kelly]

Tell us all the people in your family's names if there are any funny ones.

[Craig]

Johnny Munt is actually. He left Minnesota last year. He's on Jeff Jacksonville now. I know.

[Danny Hyperson]

Yes. It's like their third string tight end. And now he's better be better. You did. You didn't know Britain Strange and Hunter Long and the other third streak tight end. I forget was in Johnny Mun play it now.

[Danny Kelly]

Well, I knew he Strange and Long.

[Danny Hyperson]

Strange and long led the link off. Okay, then. Burn book. Yeah. I just started spoiling at the beginning, but I'm like A.J. brown. I don't know how A.J. brown had been burned, but I was so mad.

[Craig]

I almost don't. I don't believe it. I feel like we burned two people one week.

[Danny Hyperson]

Forgot.

[Craig]

There's no way we didn't burn him. There's no way.

[Danny Hyperson]

I think we just were so angry at him, we forgot. You know, it's like kind of like, you know, a fish lined with rage. Yeah. Fish doesn't know they're in water. You know, it was like. It's so obvious that we hate him that we kind of.

[Craig]

After week four, he had two catches for seven yards in that game. How did we not burn him?

[Danny Hyperson]

Actually, you know what?

[Danny Kelly]

You.

[Danny Hyperson]

It's because you said he was a.

[Danny Kelly]

Buy low like three days ago.

[Craig]

Savvy moved. He is. He had 10 targets today. In theory, I was right.

[Danny Hyperson]

I'll tell you what happened the first two weeks we weren't doing it.

[Craig]

And then if he. If he. If he just decided to not give up on his route, he might have caught a 40 yard touchdown.

[Danny Kelly]

It's because in theory league that you're in crushing.

[Craig]

How? My in theory league also has Trayvon Henderson who's killing it. The in theory league is really funny. In theory, I went 150 this year.

[Danny Kelly]

My air yards league.

[Danny Hyperson]

Should we do. Should we do a league next year where it's in theory it's air yards and then no actual stat in Enzo target.

[Craig]

Yeah. In theory Justin Herbert was a great pick.

[Danny Hyperson]

Wait, I like that Enzo targets. Air yards and targets and no actual real statistics count.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah. Hell yeah.

[Danny Hyperson]

And it's points per carry.

[Craig]

Quarterbacks don't get dinged for, like, tipped interceptions. Not their fault.

[Danny Hyperson]

There's something.

[Danny Kelly]

There's something kind of like that.

[Danny Hyperson]

That'd be a funny line league.

[Craig]

If a guy gets tackled at the one, it's a touchdown. He should. He should have gotten it.

[Danny Kelly]

Tap it in.

[Craig]

He should have gotten it happen.

[Danny Hyperson]

The.

[Danny Kelly]

The. The touchdown Mulligan.

[Danny Hyperson]

You get it.

[Danny Kelly]

Even if you get sniped.

[Craig]

No, he would have been.

[Danny Kelly]

Even if you get vultured, you still get the touchdown.

[Danny Hyperson]

Yeah, the guy. Yeah, the guy.

[Danny Kelly]

Because the coach is an idiot.

[Craig]

If it's like a 30 yard catch, he gets tagged out. The one. No, he's in. That's a touchdown.

[Danny Hyperson]

And the guy who gets it, he didn't get the touchdown.

[Danny Kelly]

If you're. If the coach is being annoying in platooning. So like all the Broncos. You just. Just get all the Broncos receivers.

[Craig]

Yeah. If, like a player is used the whole drive and like Derrick Henry gets all the yards, but then at the one they swap in Keith Mitchell because Derrick Henry's tired. Derrick Henry still gets that.

[Danny Kelly]

This sounds like the. This is like the Justice League. This sounds like the best thing I've ever heard of.

[Craig]

It's funny that we burned A.J. brown when he'd like, had like 50 yards and seven.

[Danny Hyperson]

No, that guy.

[Craig]

I'm sorry.

[Danny Hyperson]

I just can't. I'm. I'm not even mad at him.

[Craig]

That last week he had two catches and we were like, no, I'm not even that mad.

[Danny Kelly]

Viol.

[Danny Hyperson]

You know what I'm so mad about? Do you guys ever think about that? They're literally the defending super bowl champions. Kind of doesn't get talked about enough in the context of the A.J.

[Craig]

Brown. And not only that, but that they had one of the most dominant super bowl performances of all time and that.

[Danny Hyperson]

They'Re just w. I just. I don't know. It's like, pick your. Like, I just can't believe he was loafing around and actually should have caught a 40 yard pass in third and 15 and he just wasn't running. And I'm like, you're acting like you're on the Jets.

[Craig]

Yeah. Garrett Wilson's out here trying harder than you.

[Danny Hyperson]

Garrett Wilson. Oh, my God. H. All right, I think that's it. Email us your trivia questions. Email us Fantasy court. We need trivia on a bunch of things. Send us emails about your dad or parents I assume it's your dad, but parents, anyone mispronouncing words like Netflix is a perfect example. Yeah. So thank you, dk. Thank you, Craig. Thank you, Carlos. Thank you, Kai. Thank you, Austin. Thank you, Ronnie. Thank you, everyone, for listening. Thank you, Clark Hogback. Thank you, Milton. Private Eye. Thank you, Lorne.

[Craig]

Lorne.

[Danny Kelly]

Thank you, Weird Al. Yankoff. Yankovic.

[Craig]

Yankoffic.

[Danny Hyperson]

Nice.

[Danny Kelly]

Nice. Colston. Yankoff.

[Craig]

I. Hi. Did you.

[Danny Kelly]

Sounds like a name from.

[Craig]

Hi. This. Did you like Weird Al as a kid? Like, ironically or.

[Danny Hyperson]

Actually, I feel like. For the music, I mean, I think it was all. Yeah, I feel like.

[Danny Kelly]

Not for the jokes.

[Craig]

I feel like there were some people.

[Danny Hyperson]

White and nerdy riding dirty is songs. And white nerdy was like, a really funny thing. I also didn't know his whole shtick from the 90s. I was like, oh, this guy's weird and funny. Funny.

[Craig]

Play what's his. What's. What's his biggest parody?

[Danny Kelly]

Amish Paradise.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Danny Hyperson]

Oh, yeah, that one.

[Danny Kelly]

And I think. I think Coolio was, like, really mad at him for making that, which is ironic because Coolio sampled that song.

[Craig]

Oh, really?

[Danny Hyperson]

Yeah, it's Mike McDonald's. Donald.

[Craig]

Also like.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, close. It's. Sorry, now I'm forgetting the. The blind guy. That is really Stevie Wonder. Yes, Stevie Wonder. I believe it's a Stevie Wonder song.

[Craig]

Sorry.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah, the really good singer. He plays piano ironically.

[Craig]

I can see him right now.

[Danny Hyperson]

Sunglasses all the time.

[Danny Kelly]

I'm sorry.

[Craig]

Does. Does. So Coolio gets paid for a portion of Weird Al's sales for the. For Amish paradise, but then also Stevie Wonder gets paid as well, right?

[Danny Hyperson]

I assume, like.

[Craig]

But they both get paid, right?

[Danny Hyperson]

I assume.

[Danny Kelly]

I don't know. I imagine.

[Craig]

I mean, how mad can Coolio B is getting fucking paid for it?

[Danny Kelly]

Well, that's the thing.

[Danny Hyperson]

I think that he thinks everyone's laughing at him when in reality they're laughing at Weird Al.

[Craig]

Edit was a big one. Eat It, Beat It.

[Danny Hyperson]

What's that one?

[Craig]

The Michael Jackson instead of Beat It.

[Danny Hyperson]

I feel like I never, like, saw that because it was from 10 years before I was born.

[Craig]

Oh, you don't remember him, like, listing all the food?

[Danny Hyperson]

No, I. I never went back and listened to the. The discography of what he was mocking from before. I don't know.

[Craig]

No, I'm saying the song Eat It. He, like, lists all the. He. It's like he just reads food, basically the whole song.

[Danny Hyperson]

Does he really? Yeah, it's pretty fun, actually. Should listen that.

[Danny Kelly]

Eat it. Eat it.

[Danny Hyperson]

Oh, that's good. I see. Now, how he did that.

[Craig]

Yeah, right. Anyway, I didn't see the movie where D. Daniel Ratcliffe plays him. Me neither.

[Danny Hyperson]

I'm glad that Daniel Ratcliffe's okay.

[Craig]

You know, I gotta say, the guy's made a career for himself more than a lot of people who get, like, really typ. Casted into just like the iconic character he's. At least I got a pretty good career. I was worried about stage actor. Like, he's been in successful movies.

[Danny Kelly]

Why were you worried about him?

[Danny Hyperson]

Because he's Harry Potter when he was like 11.

[Craig]

Yeah, that's. That's hard to like, you know? Like, Macaulay Culkin is in a band. I think he seems happy, you know, he's doing all right.

[Danny Hyperson]

You ever shouted his band out? Have you? Dk?

[Danny Kelly]

What's his band called?

[Craig]

I don't know that.

[Danny Kelly]

Text to me later. I'll do it next time.

[Craig]

Find it right now.

[Danny Kelly]

Don't leave.

[Craig]

People hate. It's called. Is this right? The Pizza Underground.

[Danny Kelly]

No comment.

[Craig]

So. But they. And they mainly parody songs by the Velvet Underground with pizza with pizza themed song names and lyrics. What?

[Danny Hyperson]

Maybe he's.

[Danny Kelly]

It's hard to believe that hasn't caught on mainstream.

[Danny Hyperson]

Macaulay Culkin pizza place.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

So he has a Velvet Underground parody band.

[Craig]

Correct.

[Danny Hyperson]

I thought it was like a Weather Underground parody.

[Craig]

No.

[Danny Kelly]

Velvet Underground.

[Craig]

Wow.

[Danny Hyperson]

Is that the reference?

[Danny Kelly]

If it's. Do you know what? What? Do you know what the Weather Underground is?

[Danny Hyperson]

Well, they were like a. Like a. Or like an organization. Terrorists.

[Danny Kelly]

Now they're a website that tells you the weather. Or also back then, maybe also.

[Danny Hyperson]

Oh, so Velvet Underground. You know, it's funny. I do always forget Velvet Underground Underground's.

[Craig]

A band, not a band. I know a ton of.

[Danny Kelly]

I don't know anything about them either, actually.

[Craig]

I feel like that was a very specific fan group who really liked them.

[Danny Hyperson]

So how do you know that's what they're referencing, dk?

[Danny Kelly]

Because Craig just said it. Didn't you?

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Danny Hyperson]

I always confuse the.

[Danny Kelly]

Kieran, I wish you would listen once in a while.

[Danny Hyperson]

I always forget that Macaulay Culkin and Kieran Culkin are not the same person.

[Craig]

I mean, they.

[Danny Kelly]

They do look alike.

[Craig]

No, Come on. When you're watching Succession, you thought that was Macaulay Culkin.

[Danny Hyperson]

Sometimes.

[Craig]

Really?

[Danny Hyperson]

I just kind of forget. I don't know. It just kind of bleeds together, you know? It's never happened for you.

[Craig]

I get that. Never once. I know Macaulay and I know Kieran. Kieran. I just. Dude. His shot in the home. Of Alone when they, like, he just looks over and he's, like, holding the can of soda. I'll never. I'll always remember that.

[Danny Hyperson]

You love Home Alone.

[Danny Kelly]

The most iconic thing for me is when he slaps the aftershave on his cheeks.

[Craig]

Yeah, that's Macaulay. Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

Wait, were you talking about Kieran?

[Craig]

Yeah, Kieran when he's drinking all the soda and he looks. He's in Home Alone as the little brother.

[Danny Hyperson]

Oh, I did not know.

[Danny Kelly]

I thought that you were talking about McCall.

[Craig]

Kieran Culkin is the littlest brother in the family.

[Danny Kelly]

I did not know that.

[Danny Hyperson]

I didn't know that either.

[Danny Kelly]

What? Or maybe I just didn't remember it.

[Danny Hyperson]

Yeah, probably.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Danny Kelly]

I thought you were talking about McAuley when they're.

[Craig]

I forget the line. They're like, he's drinking all the soda. He's, like, farting in bed or something. And then he, like, looks over and smiles.

[Danny Hyperson]

So they're both. Wow.

[Craig]

I don't.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Danny Hyperson]

This is why I confused them. Because you know what confuses me is I always think Lindsay Lohan is a twin. And I always think that. Like, I always thought that because she.

[Danny Kelly]

Was in Parent Trap.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Danny Hyperson]

Because she was a twin in the movie. But then in Full House, the actress the twins played the girl, the Olsen twins. But I always think that there's one person and I forget about the other twin. And I always think Lindsay Lohan has.

[Danny Kelly]

They also have a sister who's very famous.

[Craig]

Elizabeth Olsen.

[Danny Kelly]

Yeah.

[Danny Hyperson]

That's not her.

[Danny Kelly]

What?

[Craig]

That's a third sister. Mary Kate and Ashley.

[Danny Hyperson]

Mary Kate. Oh, and that's the other problem is that Mary Kate is two names.

[Craig]

Yeah.

[Danny Hyperson]

So I always get the number of people in that family wrong because I get that. Two people with three names who played one person.

[Craig]

Yeah, No, I get that. Actually, that's all. That's all. That's fair. Right? Mary Elizabeth Ashley is the younger. The younger sister.

[Danny Hyperson]

Do you think anyone's still listening?

[Danny Kelly]

Do you guys. Do you guys think you'll name any of your children? Hyphenated first name?

[Craig]

That's like one of the best scenes of Ted Head is when they. They list off white. The white trash female names. And Mark Wahlberg lists off like 50 in a row. And it's like one of the funnier scenes.

[Danny Hyperson]

It's. It's like an all time. It's an all time scene.

[Craig]

I need to see Ted.

[Danny Kelly]

Seen it.

[Craig]

You never seen Ted. Oh, man.

[Danny Hyperson]

Great.

[Craig]

Ted has, like, disappeared from the, like, the, like, the consciousness. But it was very funny when it came out and made a lot of money.

[Danny Hyperson]

What?

[Craig]

Van always said he's like, it's culturally expired. And there are certain things that just like, culturally expired. And for some reason, Ted is just, like, irrelevant, but 100%. I don't know why the whole, like, Family Guy. I feel like Family Guy is so iconic and everybody watches Family Guy and used to watch Family Guy, but no one ever talks about Family Guy. Yeah, I don't know why.

[Danny Kelly]

I don't have an answer for that either.

[Danny Hyperson]

I watched a lot of Family Guy grown up.

[Craig]

Oh, every. I mean, yeah, the chicken fights with Peter.

[Danny Hyperson]

Oh, my God. That was like appointment television. That was a big deal going on Monday morning be like, dude, they did a chicken fight.

[Craig]

Chicken 15 minute chicken fight.

[Danny Hyperson]

Crazy. Yeah, it's wild. Wow. I didn't think we could. We could find something that bore dk. Yeah, my God.

[Craig]

Dk, light up a joint and watch some Family Guy off.

[Danny Kelly]

I watched Family Guy.

[Craig]

You did? Yeah. You don't know the chocolate?

[Danny Kelly]

Not like all of it, but some of it.

[Craig]

Do you know the chicken fights? No.

[Danny Kelly]

I do know. And this is, like, famous, but just the comedic device of doing something for so long that it's funny for a minute and then it gets not funny, and then you keep doing it for so long that it gets funny again. Like with the skinned knee.

[Craig]

Yeah, that's kind of like Will Ferrell really nailed that. Like, Will Ferrell is the king of funny. Funny. Not funny. Funny again.

[Danny Kelly]

Funny again. Yeah, Go so long that it gets funny again.

[Craig]

Like, kind of like this podcast.

[Danny Hyperson]

He's literally thinking, like, how we're gonna end this show. Like, this is still going.

[Craig]

Let's go, let's go.

[Danny Hyperson]

Maybe get funny again. Goodbye, everyone. Must be 21 plus in present in select states for Kansas in affiliation with Kansas Star Casino or 18 + in present in DC, Kentucky or Wyoming. Gambling problem. Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit rg-help.com, call 1-888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org chat in Connecticut or visit mdgamblinghelp.org in Maryland. Hope is here. Visit gamblinghelplinema.org or call 800-327-505 for 24. 7 support in Massachusetts or call 1-877-8-HOPENY or text HOPENY in New York. This holiday, discover meaningful gifts for everyone on your list at K. Not sure where to start. Our jewelry experts are here to help you find or create the perfect gift in store or online.

[Craig]

Book your appointment today and unwrap love this season only at K.