The Ringer Fantasy Football Show — Week 9 Recap

Episode: Deadly Darnold, Colts Collapse, Pathetic Packers, Bowers is Back, and Abe Lincoln Collinsworth
Release Date: November 3, 2025
Hosts: Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, Craig Horlbeck

Episode Overview

This week, Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck recap a wild, eventful Sunday in Week 9 of the NFL fantasy season. The crew explores the dominating performance of Sam Darnold with the Seahawks, the utter collapse of the Colts, embarrassing losses by the Packers, the triumphant return of Brock Bowers, and the delightful oddities of NFL names past and present. Along the way, they dive into fantasy trends, rookie breakouts, and a deep appreciation for chaotic, high-scoring football. The episode is lively, fast-paced, and filled with memorable tangents and on-the-fly analysis.

Key Discussion Points & Notable Segments

1. Seahawks Dominate Behind Sam Darnold’s Perfection

[02:00–08:30]

• The crew starts recording during the Seahawks-Washington game because it’s so lopsided.
• Sam Darnold: 16/16 in the first half, 282 yards and 4 TDs; first player in 10 years with 4 TDs and no incompletions in a half.
  • “Sam Darnold is playing awesome and it’s really fun to watch as a Seahawks fan.” — Craig Horlbeck [03:27]
• JSN (Jackson Smith-Njigba): First Seahawk ever with four straight 100-yard games.
• Torrey Horton (rookie): Emerging as a key weapon, “He’s gonna be a really, really good player.” — Craig [07:22]
• Seahawks pass out of heavy personnel, mimicking a run-first look but are a pass-centric team.
  • “They’re like cosplay as a team that’s good at running. They look like they're going to run the ball, but they really don’t.” — Heifetz [08:44]

2. Washington in Crisis

[09:22–11:15]

• Two straight primetime blowouts; key players injured, season feels lost.
• Jaden Daniels injury: Suffered a gruesome elbow injury late; questions about why he was still in the game.
• Despite hopelessness, at least fans have certainty at quarterback ... before getting hurt.
  • “Even if the season's over, the one thing you want as a fan… is I want to know we have our guy at quarterback.” — Heifetz [11:03]

3. Chris Collinsworth’s Abe Lincoln Revelation

[11:41–13:57]

• During a Seahawks broadcast, Chris Collinsworth shares his father’s name: Abraham Lincoln Collinsworth, prompting hilarity.
  • “My dad was Abraham Lincoln Collinsworth.”—Collinsworth via Heifetz [12:02]
• The segment devolves into an improvised Gettysburg Address in Collinsworth’s voice, a surreal pod high point.
  • “Four score and seven years ago…” — “Chris Collinsworth” (Craig) [13:57]

4. Buffalo Bills: Literal but Not Spiritual Winners over Chiefs

[15:05–19:01]

• Bills beat Chiefs again, but the guys debate whether it really “means anything” given Kansas City’s playoff superiority.
  • “Does this win mean anything? No, probably not.” — Craig [16:05]
• Josh Allen breaks Bills completion percentage record; Mahomes has career-low.
• Chiefs’ O-line woes; Mahomes pressured all night.
• Rashee Rice continues to impress as KC’s best receiver.

5. Steelers Defense Returns, Colts Implode

[19:10–24:34]

• Steelers “handled” the Colts; defense amasses 6 takeaways (Colts had 4 all season before).
• Daniel Jones “catastrophic” with three picks, multiple fumbles.
  • “As soon as we completely write off the Steelers, you should bet on them.” — Danny Kelly [20:59]
• Discussion about QBs (Jones, Darnold, Caleb Williams, Mac Jones) who thrive in system...until adversity.
  • “When the playoffs roll around, I don’t trust any of them.” — Heifetz [24:04]

6. Bengals-Bears: Scenic Route to an All-Time Shootout

[26:20–33:11]

• Bears beat Bengals 47–42: one of the “craziest games of the year.”
• Joe Flacco’s career day: 470 yards, 4 TDs, first-ever 40+ QB to hit those numbers.
  • Bengals storm back from 14 down in final 3 minutes but still lose.
• Cincinnati’s defense shredded again, raising serious fantasy and real-world alarm.
  • “It was a strip club of a game.” — Craig [27:58]
• Flacco acquisition by Bengals said to be “franchise malpractice” by Browns.
  • “It is un-American. Trading to your division rival is unsportsmanlike.” — Heifetz and Kelly [34:44]

7. Rookie Breakouts: Caleb Williams, Colston Loveland, Kyle Monangai

[36:07–39:18]

• Caleb Williams: “By far the best fantasy quarterback of the day,” including a TD catch on a Philly Special.
• Colston Loveland: “Game-winning, 50-yard TD...now you get why they took him 10th.”
• Kyle Monangai: Looks better than DeAndre Swift, explosive as the Bears’ backup RB.
  • “Two rookies maturing in front of our eyes—a debutante ball daily double.” — Heifetz [38:45]

8. Vikings: J.J. McCarthy Is… So Back?

[39:18–44:22]

• Vikings secure huge win behind rookie McCarthy, who shows poise and late-game heroics.
  • “It was pretty like ice in his veins.” — Kelly [40:36]
• Minnesota “back in the playoff hunt”; NFC North wide open.
• “He just looked more confident, no deer in the headlights… He was stepping into throws.” — Craig [41:50]

9. Packers: The Method Acting Disaster

[61:09–67:33]

• Packers lose to Panthers in “ode to 1923” uniforms.
• Offense scores just 13 despite not punting; Jordan Love’s miscues reach low point.
  • “The Packers have now lost to the Browns and the Panthers. Is this a farter or a shart?” — Heifetz [61:44]
• Historic futility: “First time in franchise history losing as 13+ point favorites.”

Notable Quote:

“There’s something off with this team… the whole is less than the sum of the parts.”
— Danny Kelly [62:05]

10. Name Time: 1923 Packers Roster

[68:08–70:56]

• Craig reads off actual names from early rosters: Cub Buck, Jug Earp, Cowboy Wheeler, Moose Gardner.
  • “Would you rather be named Cub Buck or Jug Earp?” — Heifetz [70:17]

Highlighted Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Collinsworth’s dad:
  “My dad was Abraham Lincoln Collinsworth… I googled it. That’s correct.” — Heifetz [12:02]
• On Bengals/Cardiac Game:
  “It was a strip club of a game… is this team actually good, or does the stripper just actually like you?” — Craig [27:58, 36:07]
• On Shohei Ohtani’s English:
  “I think that motherfucker speaks perfect English.” — Kelly [115:15]
  “Thank you guys… That was a little too smooth.” — Heifetz [116:08]
• Gettsyburg Address:
  “Four score and seven years ago…” — “Collinsworth” [13:57]
• Farter/Shart on Rome Odunze collapse:
  “He’s just been farting for a month but no need to go to the doctor.” — Heifetz [59:23]

Fantasy “Who’s Cooking?” & Breakouts

[47:10–52:55]

• Drake London: 3 TDs, >120 yards; “absolutely cooking.”
  • “He plays basketball at WR more than anyone I can remember.” — Heifetz [47:27]
• Brock Bowers: 3 TDs after injury return; “clearly the best TE in the league” [51:45]
• Matt Stafford: 21 TD, 2 INT; “Why isn’t he in the MVP conversation?” [53:28]
• Other notables:
  • Manangai and Loveland “debutante ball daily double” [38:45]

Fantasy “Burn Book” Update

[117:53–120:49]

• This week’s burned: Bill Merritt (RB) — constantly disappointing managers with a rollercoaster season; “He’s the first person we’ve burned in a long time I actually feel bad about doing it.” — Kelly [120:40]
• Previous entries: Jalen Waddle, Mark Andrews, Isaiah Pacheco, Calvin Ridley, Travion Henderson, Tony Pollard, Justin Fields, Alvin Kamara

Farter/Shart: Rome Odunze, Packers & More

[57:01–67:33]

• Is Rome Odunze’s October collapse a fart or shart? Injury, drops, and blocking duties, but still a good player.
• Packers’ loss: “It feels more like a shart to me because they keep letting bad teams hang around. That could be a fatal flaw.” — Craig [61:53]

Intrusive Thoughts, Announcer Notes, Socks & Life Tangents

[74:06–97:22]

• Intrusive Thought: “Joe Burrow—system QB?” “Things that make you go ‘Hmm.’”
• Extended debate on fantasy football scoring (should 2-pt conversions be worth 2 pts?).
• Extended (and highly relatable) tangent on the correct way to wear socks and dress.
  • “I feel like I still have no idea how to wear socks, like in society.” — Kelly [94:15]

The Dodgers’ World Series Win: The Pulse of the Bar

[98:14–117:06]

• Craig shares the “stadium pulse” from a Dodger bar during Game 7: “best baseball game I’ve ever watched.”
• Debrief of classic, chaotic Game 7 moments: Kike-Paez collision, Miguel Rojas HR, Will Smith’s ‘plate block’, an emotional high for baseball lovers.
  • “Sometimes you just know who you want (to win)... your body tells you.” — Heifetz [100:41]
• Segue to “Ohtani definitely speaks perfect English” conspiracy and use of interpreter as a filibuster.

Announcer Nuggets

[87:51–89:07]

• Tom Brady’s “one, two, three” throw system for QBs explained at length on the broadcast.
  • “A one throw is a laser, a two throw is a layered throw… a three is a rainbow…” — Craig [87:51]

Final Thoughts

The pod is jammed with insights about fantasy breakouts, collapses, and the shifting narratives of NFL teams. The gang mixes deep fantasy analysis with lighter moments, from old-timey Packers names to rituals around socks and showering habits. Listeners get a complete and highly entertaining understanding of Week 9—why certain box scores happened, who’s for real, which injuries matter, and which performances “don’t move me at all.” Chaos and humor are embraced throughout, with enough running gags and memorable quotes to keep serious and casual fantasy managers alike engaged all week.

Timestamps for Highlighted Segments

• Seahawks/Darnold Domination: 02:00–08:30
• Washington Meltdown / Jaden Daniels’ Injury: 09:22–11:15
• Abraham Lincoln Collinsworth / Gettysburg Address: 11:41–13:57
• Bills-Chiefs Dissection: 15:05–19:01
• Steelers Crush Colts: 19:10–24:34
• Bengals-Bears Wildness/Flacco Debrief: 26:20–33:11
• Fantasy Breakouts (Caleb, Loveland, Monangai): 36:07–39:18
• J.J. McCarthy and Vikings: 39:18–44:22
• Packers Humiliation / 1923 Names: 61:09–70:56
• Fantasy “Who’s Cooking?” Drake/Bowers: 47:10–52:55
• Burn Book — Bill Merritt: 117:53–120:49
• Life & Socks Segment: 94:15–97:22
• Dodgers’ Game 7 Bar Pulse: 98:14–117:06

Closing Note

The Week 9 recap is essential for both frustrated and optimistic fantasy managers. The energy is high, the jokes are flying, and the takes are both spicy and practical—a perfect snapshot of football fandom in the heart of the fantasy season.