The Rob Carson Show

Episode Title: It Sucks to Be You: State of the Union Edition
Date: February 24, 2026
Host: Rob Carson (Newsmax Podcasts)

Episode Overview

In this energetic and sardonic State of the Union Edition, Rob Carson delivers a scathing and humorous take on contemporary American politics, the latest State of the Union drama, and themes of patriotism versus what he calls the “petulant” left. With comedic takes, parody songs, fiery listener calls, and plenty of pointed commentary, Carson explores the culture war, Democrat boycotts of political events, America’s Olympic triumph, and the state of U.S. society under the Trump presidency.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. State of the Union Boycotts & Democrat Dissent

• Main Theme: The episode opens with Carson ridiculing Democratic lawmakers planning to either boycott or remain silent during President Trump's State of the Union Address, celebrating it as a victory for conservatives.
• Quote (Rob Carson):
  “So this is like a gift from God… Democrats either not going to attend or sitting there and shutting the hell up… It's like your drunken uncle saying, I'm not going to attend the wedding and I'm not going to get drunk and get in a fight. Oh, okay, great. Thank you.” ([05:00])
• Carson likens Democratic opposition to “temper tantrums” and repeatedly refers to their behavior as “petulant.”

2. Taking Aim at Democratic Leaders & Media

• Democratic critiques: Carson mocks Rep. Angie Craig’s statement about “sticking forks in her eyes” rather than watch Trump; he lampoons Adam Schiff’s refusal to attend and Jamie Raskin’s accusations of authoritarianism.
• Quote (Rob Carson mocking Angie Craig):
  “‘Rather stick forks in my eyes than be here tonight to listen to Donald Trump...’ Let me run by Bed Bath and Beyond, I’ll get some silverware.” ([07:00])
• He ridicules media coverage, especially CNN’s polling and analysts’ speculation about tariffs and economic policy.
• Quote (Rob Carson):
  "93.3% Republicans approve of Donald Trump... if we were a Newsmax poll, be 100%, thank you very much!" ([18:30])

3. Trump's Achievements Highlight Reel

• Carson runs through a list of claims about Donald Trump's accomplishments: border security, economic growth, “ending” the fentanyl crisis, making fertility treatments affordable, “bringing peace” to Gaza, and presiding over a significant drop in crime.
• He credits Trump’s immigration policies for what he claims is “the safest America you've ever lived in.”
  Quote: "That's a fact. It's not a matter of your stupid opinion." ([23:50])

4. Patriotic Parody & Satire Segment

• Jim Gossett Parody Song
  Gossett, impersonating the president, performs “It Sucks to Be You” as a satirical anthem aimed at Democrats, mocking them for losing political ground and exalting Trump’s purported victories.
  Memorable Lyrics:
  "Inflation is down. USA, Schumer's a clown. Patriotism is back. No Kings was a flop... It sucks to be you." ([27:00])

5. Olympics, Patriotism, & 'Woke' Critique

• Carson repeatedly lauds the US Men's and Women's Olympic Hockey Teams’ gold medals, using their wins as examples of “real” patriotism. He contrasts this with the left’s “anti-American” attitude and perceived culture of grievance.
• Jack Hughes (Men’s Hockey Team):
  “We're so proud to represent the U.S… No matter what your views are, we’re super excited to go.” ([39:10])
• Connor Hellebuyck (US Goalie):
  “It still hasn’t truthfully sunk in... It’s a dream come true.” ([41:00])
• Carson says that Democratic dismay over the teams’ visits to the White House reveals the left’s aversion to patriotism.

6. Listener Calls: Culture & Regional Politics

• Callers from Maryland and Virginia join to echo Carson’s criticisms of Democrats, discuss boycotts, and express pride in America.
  • “Why, I wouldn’t want those crappy people there anyway. They’re dour, awful people. They hate America.” ([53:15])

7. Media Targets: 'The View,' Social Media & More

• Carson lampoons the hosts of The View for criticizing Trump advisor Kash Patel’s Olympic locker room visit.
• Dan Bongino (on Cash Patel):
  “If this is what you’re going to melt down about… keep crying, man, whatever. Tell your story walking… I’d much rather have him than Jim Comey or Chris Wray.” ([72:40])
• Plays and ridicules a “liberal Karen” upset by the hockey team’s decorum.

8. Emotional & Personal Patriotism

• Michael Ruzione (of the 1980 Miracle on Ice team) shares reflections on the meaning of representing America at the Olympics, highlighting the unity and pride such moments inspire.
• Ruzione:
  “No team did it better than our men and women's team this year... It’s a moment like this that makes us realize why we live in the greatest country in the world.” ([59:00])

9. Gavin Newsom, Claims of Elitism & Racism

• Carson ridicules Newsom’s comments to a Black audience about having a “960 SAT,” spinning it as condescending and “throwing all dyslexic kids under the bus.”
• Elain Cody, a California entrepreneur, calls the state “lost,” describing how “homeless people can defecate on your median, but you have to pick up after your dog.” ([92:00])

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Your Democrat Party, you guys are just so hyper screwed at this point. You hate patriotism.” (Rob Carson, [09:00])
• “I think the next thing Congress should pass is a massive daycare center for the Capitol—and not for the kids, for the Democrats, because honestly, they're petulant little children.” (Rob Carson, [10:00])
• Jamie Raskin: “No president ever transformed the entire machinery of the federal government... an instrument of political propaganda, censorship and repression.”
  Carson's Response: “Oh, wait a minute. You guys went after social media and… created the disinformation Governance Board...” ([34:00])
• Satirical Parody Song: See [27:00] for full lyrics of “It Sucks to Be You.”
• On Olympic Team's patriotism:
  "All this patriotism is like garlic to vampires for the left." (Rob Carson, [44:15])

Key Timestamps

• [05:00] — First discussion of Democrat boycott & “gift from God” joke
• [10:00] — “Daycare for Democrats” commentary
• [18:30] — Mocking poll results & media
• [27:00] — Jim Gossett parody: “It Sucks to Be You”
• [34:00] — Jamie Raskin’s “dictatorship” accusation, Carson’s rebuttal
• [39:10] — US Men’s Hockey Team at the White House, player quotes
• [53:15] — Listener call from Baltimore, regional political commentary
• [59:00] — Michael Ruzione Olympic memories and patriotism
• [72:40] — Dan Bongino on Kash Patel and the FBI
• [92:00] — Elaine Cody on California’s decline, homelessness, and business climate

Tone & Style

• Consistent Tone: Bombastic, humorous, mockingly combative, and overtly partisan.
• Language: Sarcastic, punchy, and irreverent, with frequent direct addresses to “Democrats” and the “left.”
• Parody/Comedy: Key element, including a musical parody and running jokes about Democratic leaders and activists.

Summary

This episode captures Rob Carson at his most combative and satirical, weaving together sharp critiques of Democratic politicians, enthusiastic celebrations of conservative and patriotic victories, and frequent lampooning of liberal culture and media. With parody songs, listener participation, and a blend of serious accusations and lighthearted banter, Carson seeks to frame the State of the Union as a turning point favoring his view of American greatness—while poking relentless fun at his political opposition.