The Rob Carson Show

Episode: Mary Walter Ruins Christmas Topics (On Purpose)
Date: December 12, 2025
Host: Rob Carson
Guest: Mary Walter

Episode Overview

This episode of The Rob Carson Show delivers its trademark blend of political news, cultural commentary, and sharp comedy. Rob welcomes guest Mary Walter for a lively, festive, and occasionally irreverent discussion about Christmas show topics, societal changes in dining habits, the insanity of crime and public safety in American cities, and quirky news stories. The episode is packed with Rob's comedic takes on the week’s political headlines, parodies, and an extended on-air banter with Mary that highlights their friendly rivalry and quick wit.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Theater, Christmas Plans, and Local Love

• Rob shares his plans to see A Christmas Carol at a local Maryland theater, humorously explaining his reluctance to pay exorbitant ticket prices and giving a shoutout to Classic Theater Maryland ([00:52]).
  • Quote: “You think I'm going to spend $1,200 on tickets? No.” — Rob ([01:18])
• Takes a jab at Maryland liberal politicians, calling Annapolis “the insane group of lib tards who run that,” but notes not all are bad.

2. Congress, DHS Hearings, and Immigration

• Recap and parody of recent congressional hearings involving Kristi Noem, the DHS, and ICE ([04:46]-[07:14]).
  • Rob lampoons Democrats for what he sees as performative outrage and failing to change laws rather than simply “complaining” ([06:56]).
  • Quote: “If you guys don't like the law, go change it. That's your job.” — Kristi Noem ([06:51])
• Rob derides a congressional exchange about deported veterans, clarifies facts, and rants about grandstanding in hearings, calling out the media for misleading narratives ([08:11]-[09:53]).
  • Notable moment: Explains that the army veteran in question “self-deported” and never obtained citizenship.

3. Policing, FEMA, and Government Agencies

• Rob praises current FEMA operations under Kristi Noem, claiming they're finally dispensing aid promptly and without political bias ([10:16]).
  • Quote: “FEMA today is deploying resources two times faster on average than in history.” — Kristi Noem ([10:18])
• Asserts some federal agencies have become obsolete due to corruption or inefficiency.

4. Drug Cartels, Border Policy, and "Fishing Boats"

• Extended satirical riff on accusations that the Trump administration is “blowing up fishing boats,” which Rob ridicules as media fabrication ([11:39]-[16:35]).
  • Cites staggering figures: “NCTC has identified around 18,000 known and suspected terrorists that the Biden administration let come into our country.” — Guest ([11:59])
  • Argues Trump is targeting drug-running boats, not harmless fishermen, and invokes historic parallels to Biden’s rhetoric on narco-terrorists.
  • Comedy Parody: Jim Gossett sings a riff on “It’s Raining Men” called “Exploding Boats” ([18:05]-[19:16]).

5. Mary Walter Joins: Christmas Topics Duel

• Mary teases Rob for using up all the good Christmas content before she does her own holiday fill-in shows ([22:08]).
  • Quote: “So the poor slub, namely me, who does have to work over Christmas has zero Christmas topics to do because you did them all already.” — Mary Walter ([22:27])
• Banter about the decline in office holiday parties and the new “early bird” trend in dining, with stats on Gen Z and millennial preferences for 5-6 pm restaurant bookings ([24:38]-[25:10]).
  • Quote: “5:30 is now the new 8 pm.” — Mary Walter ([25:10])
  • Light riffing about party fatigue and Rob being banned from restaurants.

6. Crime & Drones Delivering Contraband to Prisons

• Discuss contemporary criminal ingenuity: using drones to drop contraband into prisons, and Rob’s mock solution to “shoot them down” ([27:01]-[29:15]).
  • Laughs about how certain regions (Southern Missouri, Arkansas) would never tolerate low-flying drones due to “an armed populace” ([28:52]-[29:15]).

7. The Jingle Bells “Racist” Controversy

• Parody from Jim Gossett lampoons Joy Reid’s claim that “Jingle Bells” is racist ([30:19]).
  • Quote: “If you like to sing this song, you’re a racist too…” — Jim Gossett ([30:26])
• Mary and Rob both ridicule the premise, noting its absurdity and the attention-seeking nature of such claims ([31:53]-[33:06]).
  • Quote: “She intentionally tries to look like a fool to get attention. I do it accidentally.” — Rob ([33:11])

8. Odd News: Swallowed Fabergé Pendant and College Pranks

• Weird news break: New Zealand thief swallows a Fabergé pendant; Rob tells a story about swallowing a quarter in college ([34:03]-[35:01]).
• Brief aside: Swiss man jailed after stating “men’s and women’s skeletons are different,” prompting discussion about biological realities and online spats ([35:41]-[36:43]).

9. Policy Analysis: Trump Seizing Oil Tankers

• Katie McFarland explains Trump’s strategic chokehold on Venezuela by seizing illicit oil tankers, predicting Maduro will be ousted as a result ([38:22]-[39:42]).
  • Quote: “If Trump takes away that $200 million a week, Venezuela pretty soon runs out of money.”— Katie McFarland ([38:42])
• Rob asserts this signals a real, effective “war on drugs” and lauds Trump’s aggressive tactics, contrasting them with past administrations ([39:56]).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Rob: “I'm the guy who looks for the yellow stickers at Walmart on sandwiches everybody throw away. You think I'm going to spend $1,200 on tickets?” ([01:18])
• Kristi Noem: “If you guys don't like the law, go change it. That's your job.” ([06:51])
• Mary Walter: “5:30 is now the new 8 pm.” ([25:10])
• Rob: “You would never have a drone fly over Southern Missouri or Arkansas. They would shoot that sucker down.” ([29:04])
• Jim Gossett (parody): “Jingle bells, jingle bells, Joy retelling you / if you like to sing this song, you're a racist, too.” ([30:26])

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Annapolis/Christmas Carol ticket rant: [00:52]–[02:30]
• DHS/Noem/Congress hearing commentary: [04:46]–[07:14]
• Deportation/veteran debate: [08:11]–[09:53]
• FEMA and government agencies discussion: [10:16]–[11:08]
• Drug cartels/"fishing boats" media critique: [11:39]–[16:35]
• Mary Walter & Christmas content rivalry, dining trends: [22:08]–[25:10]
• Crime/drones in prisons: [27:01]–[29:15]
• Jingle Bells “racist” debate & parody: [30:19]–[33:06]
• Weird news & skeleton controversy: [34:03]–[36:43]
• Trump, Venezuela, oil tankers (with Katie McFarland): [38:22]–[39:42]

Closing

The episode is classic Rob Carson: unapologetically irreverent, fast-moving, packed with political snark, and anchored by a playful, freewheeling rapport with Mary Walter. Listeners get robust conservative commentary, comedic parodies, and lots of holiday spice—with a keen eye for pointing out media absurdities and cultural quirks. This hour stands out for its ability to both inform and entertain, making even policy deep-dives feel lively and accessible.