In today’s episode, I sit down with my incredible friend Adriana Martinez—an entrepreneur and a wife who has built and run successful businesses. What makes Adriana’s story so powerful is not just her business acumen, but the deep, personal transformation she’s gone through in her journey as a leader. She’s someone who leads with both heart and mind, and in this episode, we dive deep into the real struggles, the lessons learned, and the challenges of leadership that don’t often get talked about.

About Adriana

Adriana is the owner of Revel Workshop, a luxury salon focused on elevating stylists careers through top tier education and mentorship. As a personal and professional budgeting coach, she helps individuals and small business owners take control of their finances and build sustainable success. Passionate about connecting people and fostering growth, Adriana thrives on empowering others to achieve financial freedom and business excellence.

The Constant Battle of Leadership

Adriana and I discussed how, in her journey as a business owner, she’s learned the hard way that success is not just about achieving a goal—it’s about navigating relationships. She runs two salons now, but no longer takes clients herself. Instead, she depends on the team she’s built. And as any entrepreneur knows, that reliance on others can be terrifying.

Adriana explained that her success is directly tied to the success of those around her. If an employee leaves, it sends a ripple effect through her business, and it’s hard not to take it personally. She wants the best for her team, but at the same time, she can’t help but feel disappointed and question her role as a leader when someone walks away.

The Struggle with Loyalty and Abandonment

One of the most real and raw moments came when Adriana admitted her fear of abandonment—something that I think many business owners can relate to. She’s fiercely loyal, and she wants to offer the same loyalty in return. But when someone leaves, it can feel like a personal betrayal.

This led us into a powerful conversation about capacity—both the capacity of those who work with you and the capacity of yourself as a leader. I asked her the tough question: Do you really expect everyone to match your capacity?

Her answer was insightful: Not necessarily, but it’s hard to see them leave because it feels like failure.

I reminded her that no one else will ever be able to match her level of commitment and capacity, especially if they are not in the same business-owner role. And the difference between what she expects and what others can deliver is where the disappointment lies.

The Hard Truth of Leadership: Not Everyone Stays

Adriana shared that she knows logically that employees leave because it’s time for them to grow, and that they are not abandoning her. But the emotional side of her—fueled by that deep sense of loyalty—makes it feel like a personal loss.

We both agreed that this is an inherent part of business ownership. You pour so much into people, and when they leave, it can feel like everything you’ve built is crumbling. But the reality is, it’s just part of the process. People come, people go. As leaders, we must embrace this as part of the natural flow of growth.

The Importance of Words of Affirmation

One of the key moments in our conversation was when Adriana admitted something that she had long avoided—she is, in fact, a words of affirmation person. As much as she resisted it, I could tell that hearing those words of appreciation made a difference for her. She shared how she does everything for people, often with no expectation of recognition, but deep down, she craves acknowledgment.

I pointed out that we often mistake confirmation for affirmation. Confirmation simply states that something is true—like a ticket for a flight. It’s factual, impersonal. Affirmation, on the other hand, acknowledges the goodness of what we do and who we are. It’s not about fluff—it’s about recognizing effort, commitment, and value. Adriana hadn’t fully embraced that she needs affirmation too, but the more we unpacked this, the clearer it became.

Creating a Safe Space for Vulnerability

One of the things I admire most about Adriana is her ability to create safety for others. She may not always want or seek affirmation, but she unknowingly creates a space where her team and clients feel safe to share, grow, and even leave when the time is right. That safety comes from trust, and I encouraged her to allow herself to experience the same kind of trust in return.

Leaders often think they have to protect themselves from getting hurt, but what if we created spaces where we could allow ourselves to be seen and affirmed too?

Letting Go of Control

Adriana also shared her internal battle with letting go of control. For a long time, she thought that to keep things running smoothly, she needed to handle it all herself. She resisted relying on others. But through the years, she’s realized that leadership doesn’t mean doing everything yourself. It means trusting others, and embracing the idea that not everyone will stay forever, and that’s okay.

I encouraged her to celebrate the contributions of her team, and to reframe the way she looks at people leaving. Rather than feeling abandoned, what if she saw it as the natural progression of their growth? They are moving on to the next phase of their life, and her role was to help them get there.

The Takeaway: Safe Spaces and Growth

The most powerful lesson in this episode? We need to start seeing ourselves for who we are and what we’re doing. We need to recognize that, as leaders, we are not just responsible for the success of our business—we’re also responsible for creating environments that allow people to thrive, grow, and sometimes move on.

Adriana’s story is a testament to the power of vulnerability, clarity, and affirmation. As leaders, we must be open to receiving those things just as much as we offer them.

Resources Mentioned

Join my free leadership workshop: https://rockygarza.com/confidence
Follow Adriana on Instagram: @adrianaymartinez
Adriana’s website: https://revelworkshop.com

Key Timestamps

00:00 Introduction to Unfinished Leadership

00:39 Adriana Martinez's Journey and Challenges

01:27 The Struggles of Relying on Others

02:47 Balancing Personal and Professional Relationships

04:34 The Emotional Impact of Employee Turnover

09:02 Seeking Affirmation and Appreciation

17:24 Creating a Safe and Loyal Work Environment

19:01 Navigating Business Challenges

20:25 Reframing Employee Departures

21:26 Creating a Supportive Culture

22:36 Balancing Vulnerability and Strength

24:38 The Importance of Affirmation

25:36 Building Trust and Safety

27:14 Embracing Words of Affirmation

34:36 Final Reflections and Encouragement

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Words of Affirmation with Adriana Martinez

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