Podcast Summary: The Ryan Leak Podcast

Episode: A Better You: A Forgiving You
Host: Ryan Leak
Date: January 26, 2026

Overview

In this concluding installment of the "A Better You" series, Ryan Leak explores the transformative power of forgiveness. With his signature mix of practical wisdom and faith-based perspective, Ryan delves into why the decision to forgive is essential for personal growth, emotional freedom, and healthier relationships. He challenges listeners to make forgiveness a proactive choice for 2026, breaking down why it’s crucial, what it’s not, and how it can practically show up in our personal and professional lives.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Ongoing Series: "A Better You"

Recap of previous themes:
- Week 1: Focus
- Week 2: Courage
- Week 3: Honesty
This week closes the series with Forgiveness as the final pillar needed for a "better you."

2. The Inevitability of Offense (03:40)

Prediction for 2026: Someone will inevitably hurt or offend you.
Quote:

"I can tell you exactly what's going to happen this year. ...somebody in your life is going to say something, forget something, post something...and in that moment, you are going to feel it, your chest is going to tighten up, your mind is going to start building a case..."
(04:05)
The true choice about forgiveness is made before the offense occurs.

3. Deciding to Forgive In Advance (05:00)

We must choose ahead of time how we will respond to inevitable offenses.
Quote:

"You don't decide forgiveness after the comment. ...No, you decide now what you're going to do later when offense inevitably shows up. Because if you don't decide ahead of time, offense will decide for you."
(05:25)
Encourages listeners to prepare for, rather than be shocked by, conflict or hurt.

4. The Scriptural Foundation (06:10)

Colossians 3:13: "Make allowance for each other’s faults."
Ryan’s perspective: This verse assumes imperfection and normalizes the need for grace.
Quote:

"When somebody else hears Colossians 3:13, make allowance for each other's fault. They're thinking of you ... The interesting thing about forgiveness is that we all live on both sides of it."
(08:00)

5. The Dual Sides of Forgiveness (08:45)

Everyone is both an offender and in need of forgiveness at some point.
Forgiveness is about shared humanity, not moral superiority.
The absence of forgiveness breeds anxiety, avoidance, and emotional distance, not just grudges.

6. The Cost of Unforgiveness (10:00)

Quote:

"My friend, that's the cost of carrying offense. ...Because the alternative is you could be a bitter you."
(10:35)
Choices besides forgiveness:
- Bitterness (protective but heavy)
- Guardedness (safe but isolating)
- Revenge (powerful but poisonous)

7. What Forgiveness Is—and Isn’t (13:10)

Forgiveness does not:
- Deny pain
- Excuse bad behavior
- Require instant trust
- Mean staying in unsafe situations
Quote:

"Forgiveness isn't saying it didn't hurt. ...It's deciding that what happened to you doesn't get to decide who you become."
(13:40)

8. Practical Examples of Forgiveness in 2026 (15:00)

Work:
- Not firing off a reactive response
- Not letting a troublesome colleague set your emotional agenda
Personal:
- Not weaponizing hurtful words
- Refusing to let your home become a "courtroom"
Quote:

"You forgive so your home doesn't become a courtroom."
(17:45)

9. The Lightness and Freedom of Forgiveness (18:00)

The message: “A forgiving you is a lighter you. Forgiving you is a freer you. But forgiving you, no question, is a better you.”
Forgiveness as a deliberate act toward personal liberation.

10. The Closing Challenge and Ultimate Source of Forgiveness (19:10)

Who do you need to forgive this year?
A reminder: Someone might also need to forgive you.
Ryan’s faith-based “why” for forgiveness—experiencing grace from God and passing it on.
Quote:

"The reason I can walk in forgiveness isn't because I just think it's a good idea... The reason I can walk in forgiveness is because I'm walking in forgiveness."
(20:20)

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

"You don't decide forgiveness after the comment... You decide now what you're going to do later when offense inevitably shows up."
—Ryan Leak (05:25)
"Forgiveness isn't about moral superiority. I believe it's about a shared humanity."
—Ryan Leak (09:05)
"You forgive so your home doesn’t become a courtroom."
—Ryan Leak (17:45)
"A forgiving you is a lighter you. Forgiving you is a freer you. But forgiving you, no question, is a better you."
—Ryan Leak (18:05)

Memorable Moments

Using Colossians 3:13 to highlight collective imperfection and reciprocal grace. (06:10)
Insight into the psychological toll of grudges and avoidance. (10:00–11:20)
Candid breakdown of “bitterness,” “guardedness,” and “revenge” as natural but unhealthy alternatives to forgiveness. (11:30–13:00)
Real-world examples of how forgiveness plays out at work and at home. (15:00–17:45)
Ryan's personal mantra: “If I’ve been let off the hook ...who am I not to be a person that walks in forgiveness?” (20:30)

Conclusion

Ryan Leak wraps up his "A Better You" series by urging listeners to proactively choose forgiveness—for their own lighter, freer, and ultimately better lives. From scriptural grounding to practical examples in everyday scenarios, Ryan’s message is that forgiveness isn't simply a moral ideal; it's a foundational decision for personal well-being and human connection. He leaves the audience with a reflective question: “Who in your life do you need to forgive?” and points to faith as a source of strength for those seeking the power to forgive.

For more episodes and inspiration, subscribe to The Ryan Leak Podcast.

Transcript

A (0:01)

Welcome back to the Ryan League podcast, where we love to keep things short and sweet for you each and every week. Just want to give you a little nugget of inspiration that can add value to your day, your week, your month, perhaps a meeting that you're having at work, wherever you find yourself. We're always just trying to add value to your life. Over the past couple of weeks, just to kick off 2026, we've been doing a podcast series called A Better you. We've looked at week one, what it looks like for you to be a focused you, what it looks like for me to be focused and locked in in 2026 and really proposing this question of what would your life look like a year from now if you really locked in? Like, if you really focused, I think you would be a better you. Week two, we talked about what it looks like to be a courageous you, a courageous me. 365 days from now, if you had a little bit more courage, what would your life look like? And then our last episode, a better you, I believe, is an honest you. I don't think we're all liars, but I do think we all live with some level of reserve, and I can only imagine what our relationships and our lives, our careers would look like if we were just a little bit more honest. This last better you episode in this podcast series that I made up, I didn't know how many episodes I was actually going to do on this better you, but I think. I think we've got some other things that I want to get to. So we've had some fun with this. This is the last one for a better you series and then we're going to move it in February. Who knows what? Maybe we talk about love and relationships and been getting lots of questions about that. So stay tuned for that. This last better you episode. I think a better you and a better me would be a forgiving you. A forgiving me. A better you is a forgiving you. And let me just tell you what's going to happen in 2026. I can predict the future. I can tell you exactly what's going to happen this year. I can guarantee you that somebody in your life is going to say something, forget something, post something, like something, share something, assume something, misread something, interrupt something, leave you out of something, bring up something at the worst possible time, and in that moment, you are going to feel it, your chest is going to tighten up, your mind is going to start building a case, and your tone is going to sharpen and all of a sudden, you're going to find yourself standing at an all too familiar crossroads. Do I hold on to this or do I let it go? And here's the part that most of us miss that decision, that moment. It feels like it's happening in the moment, but it doesn't. You actually decide long before that offense ever shows up what kind of person you are going to be. You don't decide forgiveness after the comment. You don't decide forgiveness after the post, after the email, after the conversation. No, you decide now what you're going to do later when offense inevitably shows up. Because if you don't decide ahead of time, offense will decide for you. Here's the deal. I'm not just trying to predict the future. I'm just paying attention to patterns. My friends, we all know something is going to happen in the world, guarantee you, whether it be small and personal, loud and public, whether it's something tragic, whether it's a natural disaster, whether it's something political, something that will give us the opportunity to find ourselves on opposing sides of another person. And we need to decide now how we're going to respond later. You see, I think you and I have the opportunity not to be shocked by what is going to happen over the next year. You should see it coming a mile away. It's going to happen. You should prepare for it now, and dare I say, you should make allowance for it now. Decide now how you're going to respond later. I realize that a lot of people who listen to the Ryan League podcast are not people of faith, but if you listen to the podcast, you obviously know that I am a person of faith. And there is a scripture. Whether you're a Bible person or not, there is a scripture that I think will add value to your life, even if you're not a Christian. And it says this in Colossians 3:13, it says, make allowance for each other's fault. Which again, when you think about that verse, you think, well, that's not idealistic. Like, I mean, like, why would I do that? That's not ideal for me. Like, it assumes people will mess up. It assumes misunderstanding. It assumes offense. And here's the interesting thing about Colossians 3:13, when we hear make allowance for each other's faults, you're going, I'm not going to do that for them. Are you kidding me? But here's the deal. When somebody else hears Colossians 3:13, make allowance for each other's fault. They're thinking of you and they're thinking of Me like. The interesting thing about forgiveness is that we all live on both sides of it. You see, there are moments when you're going to need forgiveness. You're going to need to receive it because you crossed the line, because you forgot, because you were selfish, because you reacted, because you had a bad day or bad week or bad season. And what you're hoping for is that somebody makes allowance for your fault. What you're hoping for is that someone's going to give you grace. And here's the other interesting part of forgiveness. The other side of it is there are moments when you need to release it because someone else did the same things to you. Forgiveness isn't about moral superiority. I believe it's about a shared humanity. It's about admitting that I've needed grace before and I'll need it again. Therefore, I should be the kind of person who also releases it. You see, when you and I don't release forgiveness, it's not like it just stays contained. It leaks. You don't just hold a grudge. What you do when you hold a grudge is sometimes you also are holding anxiety. You feel tense. You avoid rooms, you avoid names, you avoid conversations. And over time, the bitterness you're holding toward a person or group of people starts actually creating distance between people, people you actually love. You get quieter, sharper, more guarded. Not because they hurt you, but because someone else did. My friend, that's the cost of carrying offense. I'm encouraging you to consider what it looks like to be a better you, that is a forgiving you. Because the alternative is you could be a bitter you. Yeah, a bitter you. And honestly, bitterness is absolutely understandable when you've been hurt, bitterness feels protective. But I would also add, that's a very heavy way to live. It keeps old moments alive longer than they should have expired. Another alternative to being a forgiving you is being a guarded you. And that one makes sense too. Especially if you've been hurt a lot. Guarded feels safe. Guarded feels wise. And I'm all for boundaries. But over time, guarded can turn into distant. And you stop letting people all the way in. You stop being fully present. You don't just keep pain out, you keep connection out too. And slowly the walls you built to protect your heart became the same. Walls that isolated. Another alternative to being a forgiving you is you could be a revengeful you. Yeah, an eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth. Let me show you the way. I'll get back at you for hurting me. Is beating you, putting you in your place. You Go get them. Yeah. And here's the deal. You can do that. You're grown. You're allowed to do that. I would just submit to you. I just don't think that's going to lead to a better you. You want to know what's funny? I know people who got their revenge. They won. They said the thing, they proved the point. They came out on top. And yet somehow the anger is still boiling in their blood. The moment passed, but the poison stayed. Because revenge may feel powerful in the moment, but it doesn't heal anything. It just keeps the wound open longer. My friend, forgiveness isn't saying it didn't hurt. It's not saying it was okay because it was not. It's not instant trust because it was broken. It's not staying in unsafe situations. Forgiveness is refusing to let resentment run your life. It's deciding that what happened to you doesn't get to decide who you become. So what might forgiveness look like for you in 2026? It might look like not sending that response. It might look like not leaving a comment on that post. It might look like choosing silence over sarcasm. It might look like unfollowing instead of unfriending. It might look like wishing someone well even when their very name tightens your chest. Maybe at your job, forgiveness starts with accepting a hard truth that you are going to work with people who say reckless things and send wild emails and somehow hit reply all at the worst possible moment. Somebody's going to talk over you. Someone's going to take credit for your idea. And in that moment, forgiveness isn't pretending that it doesn't matter. It's deciding that it won't own you. Forgiving a complicated coworker is how you refuse to let someone else's emotional immaturity set your workday agenda. In your personal life, it's the same thing. Forgiveness starts with another hard truth, that the people closest to you will also hurt you the most. Not because they're cruel, but because they're close. Words come out sideways. Tones sharpen, expectations go unspoken. And again, forgiveness and your personal life doesn't mean pretending it didn't hurt when it did. It means choosing not to weaponize it later. You forgive so your home doesn't become a courtroom. And so I must admit to you that a better you really is going to be a forgiving you. Because a forgiving you is a lighter you. Forgiving you is a freer you. But forgiving you, no question, is a better you. So I'll leave you with this question. Who in your life do you need to forgive? Who in your life do you need to forgive? And make no mistake about it, if they are listening to this podcast, they might think of you. And so at some point, if you were looking for the strength to forgive them, might I suggest the Almighty Jesus Christ? The reason that I can walk in forgiveness isn't because I just think it's a good idea, although it is. The reason I can walk in forgiveness is because I'm walking in forgiveness. I believe that God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son so that whoever has made mistakes, has missed the mark, has dropped the ball, could walk in forgiveness. I've been let off the hook. Therefore I live by a mantra I work with. A mantra that says, you know what? If I've been let off the hook and have won the eternal jackpot, then who am I not to be a person that walks in forgiveness? So as you prepare for this year, I think a better you is going to be in forgiving you. And if you're looking for the strength to extend forgiveness to the world around you, might I encourage you to look up, look up to the heavens, to God who loves you so much that he would send his only son to be connected to you so that you too can walk in forgiveness. My friends, thank you so much for listening to the Ryan Lake Podcast. If today's episode added value to your life in any way, shape or form, I would encourage you to share it with a friend. And hey, it would mean the world to me if you take a moment to rate, review and subscribe. Your support helps us reach even more people with these short and sweet nuggets of inspiration. Thanks for being a part of the journey and we will catch you next time.