Podcast Summary: The Ryan Leak Podcast

Episode: A Better You: A Forgiving You
Host: Ryan Leak
Date: January 26, 2026

Overview

In this concluding installment of the "A Better You" series, Ryan Leak explores the transformative power of forgiveness. With his signature mix of practical wisdom and faith-based perspective, Ryan delves into why the decision to forgive is essential for personal growth, emotional freedom, and healthier relationships. He challenges listeners to make forgiveness a proactive choice for 2026, breaking down why it’s crucial, what it’s not, and how it can practically show up in our personal and professional lives.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Ongoing Series: "A Better You"

• Recap of previous themes:
  • Week 1: Focus
  • Week 2: Courage
  • Week 3: Honesty
• This week closes the series with Forgiveness as the final pillar needed for a "better you."

2. The Inevitability of Offense (03:40)

• Prediction for 2026: Someone will inevitably hurt or offend you.
• Quote:

  "I can tell you exactly what's going to happen this year. ...somebody in your life is going to say something, forget something, post something...and in that moment, you are going to feel it, your chest is going to tighten up, your mind is going to start building a case..."
  (04:05)

• The true choice about forgiveness is made before the offense occurs.

3. Deciding to Forgive In Advance (05:00)

• We must choose ahead of time how we will respond to inevitable offenses.
• Quote:

  "You don't decide forgiveness after the comment. ...No, you decide now what you're going to do later when offense inevitably shows up. Because if you don't decide ahead of time, offense will decide for you."
  (05:25)

• Encourages listeners to prepare for, rather than be shocked by, conflict or hurt.

4. The Scriptural Foundation (06:10)

• Colossians 3:13: "Make allowance for each other’s faults."
• Ryan’s perspective: This verse assumes imperfection and normalizes the need for grace.
• Quote:

  "When somebody else hears Colossians 3:13, make allowance for each other's fault. They're thinking of you ... The interesting thing about forgiveness is that we all live on both sides of it."
  (08:00)

5. The Dual Sides of Forgiveness (08:45)

• Everyone is both an offender and in need of forgiveness at some point.
• Forgiveness is about shared humanity, not moral superiority.
• The absence of forgiveness breeds anxiety, avoidance, and emotional distance, not just grudges.

6. The Cost of Unforgiveness (10:00)

• Quote:

  "My friend, that's the cost of carrying offense. ...Because the alternative is you could be a bitter you."
  (10:35)

• Choices besides forgiveness:
  • Bitterness (protective but heavy)
  • Guardedness (safe but isolating)
  • Revenge (powerful but poisonous)

7. What Forgiveness Is—and Isn’t (13:10)

• Forgiveness does not:
  • Deny pain
  • Excuse bad behavior
  • Require instant trust
  • Mean staying in unsafe situations
• Quote:

  "Forgiveness isn't saying it didn't hurt. ...It's deciding that what happened to you doesn't get to decide who you become."
  (13:40)

8. Practical Examples of Forgiveness in 2026 (15:00)

• Work:
  • Not firing off a reactive response
  • Not letting a troublesome colleague set your emotional agenda
• Personal:
  • Not weaponizing hurtful words
  • Refusing to let your home become a "courtroom"
• Quote:

  "You forgive so your home doesn't become a courtroom."
  (17:45)

9. The Lightness and Freedom of Forgiveness (18:00)

• The message: “A forgiving you is a lighter you. Forgiving you is a freer you. But forgiving you, no question, is a better you.”
• Forgiveness as a deliberate act toward personal liberation.

10. The Closing Challenge and Ultimate Source of Forgiveness (19:10)

• Who do you need to forgive this year?
• A reminder: Someone might also need to forgive you.
• Ryan’s faith-based “why” for forgiveness—experiencing grace from God and passing it on.
• Quote:

  "The reason I can walk in forgiveness isn't because I just think it's a good idea... The reason I can walk in forgiveness is because I'm walking in forgiveness."
  (20:20)

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• "You don't decide forgiveness after the comment... You decide now what you're going to do later when offense inevitably shows up."
  —Ryan Leak (05:25)
• "Forgiveness isn't about moral superiority. I believe it's about a shared humanity."
  —Ryan Leak (09:05)
• "You forgive so your home doesn’t become a courtroom."
  —Ryan Leak (17:45)
• "A forgiving you is a lighter you. Forgiving you is a freer you. But forgiving you, no question, is a better you."
  —Ryan Leak (18:05)

Memorable Moments

• Using Colossians 3:13 to highlight collective imperfection and reciprocal grace. (06:10)
• Insight into the psychological toll of grudges and avoidance. (10:00–11:20)
• Candid breakdown of “bitterness,” “guardedness,” and “revenge” as natural but unhealthy alternatives to forgiveness. (11:30–13:00)
• Real-world examples of how forgiveness plays out at work and at home. (15:00–17:45)
• Ryan's personal mantra: “If I’ve been let off the hook ...who am I not to be a person that walks in forgiveness?” (20:30)

Conclusion

Ryan Leak wraps up his "A Better You" series by urging listeners to proactively choose forgiveness—for their own lighter, freer, and ultimately better lives. From scriptural grounding to practical examples in everyday scenarios, Ryan’s message is that forgiveness isn't simply a moral ideal; it's a foundational decision for personal well-being and human connection. He leaves the audience with a reflective question: “Who in your life do you need to forgive?” and points to faith as a source of strength for those seeking the power to forgive.

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