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What's going on? My friends, welcome back to the Ryan Lee Podcast, where we love to keep things short and sweet for you each and every week. I believe that today's episode is absolutely going to add value to your life. Today's episode is entitled Trust me. Trust me. Two of the most confident words in the English language. Trust me. And we say it all the time. Trust me. This restaurant is amazing. Trust me, you're going to love this show. Trust me. I know a shortcut. And then you end up in a ditch somewhere because their shortcut went through a construction zone and a cow pasture. Thank you very much, my friends. But here's what's fascinating. We say trust me with so much confidence, and yet when someone else says, it's us, our first instinct is, I don't think I will trust you. Pew research actually found that only 34% of Americans believe most people can be trusted. That number has been declining for decades. And when researchers ask people how many close friends they can truly lean on, the answer is about three to five. That's it. Out of everyone you know, everyone you've met, everyone you follow, everyone who follows you, you've got maybe five people you trust with something real. 5. Your circle of trust is tiny, and you're not alone in that. Most of us are walking around with a very small list of people that we'd hand our secrets to. And honestly, that makes sense because life teaches you lessons. You trusted someone and they told your business. You confided in a co worker, and it got back to your boss. You opened up to a friend and they used it against you. You let someone in, and they let you down. And so what you did is you built a wall. And that wall has done a great job keeping people out. The problem is, it's also kept some good people out, too. Now, here's where this gets interesting to me. Here's the part that had me up at like, three in the morning the other day. I was like, no, I've. I've met plenty of people who don't trust nobody. Right? You have to. Maybe you're that person. I don't trust nobody. I get it. But I have never met a single person in my life who thought they themselves couldn't be trusted. Think about that for a minute. Nobody walks around saying, hey, I'm untrustworthy. Keep your distance. Like you've never had a neighbor knock on your door and say, hey, just a heads up, you're going to want to lock your doors tonight. Living next to me. I can't be trusted. I've got sticky fingers and no moral compass. Welcome to the cul de sac. Nobody says that. Nobody says that. Like you've never had someone get ready to share something vulnerable with you, lean in and say, hey, between you and me. And then you interrupt them and say, hey, hey. Hold on. Let me stop you right there. Whatever you're about to tell me will most definitely not stay between you and me. I'll probably tell at least five people by Friday. I might bring it up at brunch. I might even post about it and change your name in the story. But honestly, everyone's going to know it's you anyways. And that vulnerable thing you're about to share? I am going to file it away and weaponize it against you in about three months when I need to leverage it for that promotion I want. Because I want that promotion more than. And I want this friendship. So if I'm you, I wouldn't share a thing with. Like, nobody talks like that, like, ever. Like, what's so interesting to me is that we all assume we are the trustworthy one. We're the safe space. We're the vault. So let me get this math straight. Nobody trusts people, but everybody thinks they're trustworthy. Therefore, that math ain't mathing, my friends. I think. I think we've got a broken trust economy. We're all withdrawing trust from others while simultaneously believing we deserve unlimited deposits. We want people to be vulnerable with us, but regard it with them. We want loyalty, but we're keeping our options open. We want honesty, but it's like we're curating what we share with others. And I'm not pointing fingers. I'm looking in the mirror. Because the trust economy doesn't fix itself by waiting for other people to change. It starts with me. It starts with you. It starts with us all asking some uncomfortable questions. And so here are two things I just. I want you to sit with this week. Number one, I want you to ask yourself the question, what's my side of the trust equation look like? What's my side of the trust equation look like? Not theirs, yours. If the people closest to you don't feel safe sharing things with you, why is that? And I'm not talking about strangers. I'm talking about your spouse, your best friend, your sibling, your teammate. If they're holding back, is it possible you've given them a reason to hold back? Maybe. Maybe you responded to their honesty with judgment instead of curiosity. Maybe you shared something they told you in confidence and didn't think it was a big deal, but it was a big deal to them. Maybe your face said, I'm listening, but your energy said, I'm evaluating. Maybe you gave unsolicited advice when they just needed to be heard. Being trustworthy isn't a title you give yourself. It's a reputation other people give you based on how safe they feel around you. So instead of assuming you're the Vault, ask. Ask someone you love, do you feel safe being honest with me? And then brace yourself, because the answer might reveal something you didn't know about. How you show up. The second question I want you to chew on this week is how much am I letting past hurt determine the quality of my current and future relationships? I'll say it again. How much am I letting past hurt determine the quality of my current and future relationships? Because here's what I know. Somebody broke your trust. Maybe more than one somebody. And it changed you. It made you cautious. It made you skeptical. It made you build systems to protect yourself from ever feeling that again. And I get it. Those walls served a purpose. They kept you safe during a season when you needed safety. But I also have the sinking suspicion that you have been living behind those walls so long that you have forgotten what it feels like to let someone in. You've gotten so good at protecting yourself that you've accidentally isolated yourself. And the person who hurt you five years ago is still controlling your relationships today. Not because they're still in your life, but because the wall they inspired is still standing tall. You have got a lot of reasons not to trust people. I know that You've been burned. You've been betrayed. You've been disappointed by people who should have known better. But I also think you have a lot of reasons to try again. Because somewhere out there is a friendship you haven't built yet. A conversation you haven't had yet. A connection that could change your life if you're willing to crack the door open one more time. Trust is a risk. It always has been. But so is love. So is vulnerability. So is growth. And the people who experience the deepest relationships aren't the ones who never got hurt. They're the ones who got hurt and decided to try again anyway. So, yeah, trust is complicated. And the economy of trust is very, very broken. The math doesn't add up, but maybe it starts adding up when we stop auditing everyone else's trustworthiness and start investing in our own. So, yeah, this week, I want you to do an evaluation of how much can people trust you? And also doing an evaluation of going Do I really want to let past hurt determine the quality of my current and future relationships? My friends, thank you so much for listening to the Ryan Lee Podcast. If today's episode inspired you, I'd ask that you don't keep it to yourself. Share it with a friend and hey, it would mean the world to me if you take a moment to rate, review and subscribe. Your support helps us reach even more people with these short and sweet nuggets of inspiration. Thank you so much for being a part of Journey. We'll catch you next time.