Transcript
Ryan Lee (0:00)
My friends, my friends, welcome to the Ryan Lee Podcast. I got an episode for you today that I am so excited about. On the Ryan League podcast, we like to keep things short and sweet, give you something practical that can add value to to your week. Today's episode might be a little bit more challenging than normal. You might even come to the conclusion that today's episode felt perhaps discouraging. And as somebody who has a strong desire to encourage the world around them, you might feel discouraged. But I want you to know today's podcast is going to challenge you. And if you are listening with a growing ear, I promise you your life is going to get better today. Over the last year and a half, I have had the wonderful opportunity to work side by side with the John Maxwell leadership team. And they are actually the ones who have published my latest book, how to Work with Complicated People. And for those of you who don't know who John Maxwell is, he is one of the most influential leadership voices of all time. To put it frankly, he's written almost 100 books on leadership. He has sold more than 36 million copies, which is a lot of books for sure, not like 36 million downloads or views that people can get for free. I'm talking people like purchased over 36 million copies of books. He's coach leaders in nearly every country on the planet. His influence is absolutely insurmountable. But what makes Jon Jon, in my personal opinion, having gotten to know him more personally over the last couple of years, isn't his resume, but it, it's the way that he multiplies leaders. He doesn't just lead people, he raises leaders. I've met a lot of people who are generous with their money. He is generous with his influence and he helps, he helps people become leaders. He empowers people. We've had some amazing events together recently. But, but while it's amazing to get to work with him and his team today, what's really wild is that this relationship has actually been 10 years in the making. I'm gonna give you a little bit of behind the scenes of how I even got connected to John in the first place. Chad Johnson, a really good friend of mine, he is one of John's right hand guys. He does a lot of bookings for John, makes a lot of connections for John, and he's been doing that for over a decade. I originally got connected with Chad through a conference that used to be really popular called Catalyst Conference, and Chad worked for that conference. So every, every year I would go and, and would hang with Chad. And then he officially moved over to start working for John. And we just always stayed. Stayed in touch, really good friends. And one day I had a previous book coming out called Leveling Up. Now, whenever you publish a book and you're going with a publisher, I always want you to reach out to your most famous friends to have them post about the book. It is the most annoying thing in the world. I hate it with a passion. Like, I don't want. If you, my friend, like, and you want to post about it, great. But, like, having to ask people to just, you know, hey, would you endorse my book? First off, these people not even gonna read your book. So they gonna write, like, a little blurb, and I just. Don't get me on a soapbox. But nevertheless, my publisher asked me to reach out to some different people that had some different platforms that maybe they would have me on their podcast, whatnot. And then I just. I just remember thinking, you know, John, I recently just started his leadership podcast. So I reached out to Chad and I said, hey, man, what do you think, man? It'd be cool to be on John's podcast. Would love to come on and talk about the book. And in that moment, I'll never forget Chad saying something to me that was a tough pill to swallow in the moment, but long term, it was one of the best things a friend, a true friend, could actually say to me. He said, ryan, I don't think we're there yet. I don't think we're there yet. He was saying, hey, man, the truth is, hey, we love you. But I'm not sure that the work you've put in thus far is. Is there yet to match that of John Maxwell, which, again, like I said at the beginning, this is gonna make some people feel uncomfortable. I don't even like this conversation. I don't like the whole levels thing. We're all the same. We all should just be down there. Here's the deal. You can't just hop on somebody else's platform and just assume that you can just do what they do. It don't work like that. I get that this could sound offensive to somebody. It could sting. But I just got to tell you, when he said it, I didn't hear offense. I heard challenge. Yeah. I heard, hey, man, you got some work to do. So guess what? We started doing that work. Yeah. We started figuring out ways, how can we add more value to the people that. That are in front of us. I was challenged by his words. You want to know what's Interesting. I think the truth for a lot of us is I think we actually want to be lied to. We want everyone to say we're amazing, even if we're not. We want compliments over correction. It's why some people can post a half baked idea on social media and then get defensive when someone offers actual feedback. It's like you didn't even give your best. You just want everybody to like it and share it and make it viral. But, but what if there was somebody going, hey, it's not there yet. It's why in the workplace, performance reviews can turn into pep rallies instead of honest conversations. Because we've created a culture where affirmation is expected and accountability is avoided. But if we always settle for comfort over correction, we'll stay stuck. And in cycles of mediocrity, it's like we're all still playing kindergarten soccer where everyone gets a medal and everyone gets a trophy for just showing up. Listen, I've got two kids in sports and the number of parents yelling, good job Johnny. When Johnny is air balling. Okay, he is clearly struggling. It is wild. At some point, I believe we've got to leave the emotional kindergarten arena because if we want to grow, we need somebody in our corner who is willing to tell us, you've got some work to do. You're not there yet. You've got some areas to improve. You've got some skills to sharpen, you've got some character to build. You've got some faithfulness to practice. I love what Jim Collins says in his book Good to Great. He wrote, you absolutely cannot make a series of good decisions without first confronting the brutal facts. And that's what my very good friend Chad gave me, the brutal facts. And I didn't take it personally. I took it personal. Seriously. Now, did you know that a research from the Harvard Business review found that 92% of people agree that negative feedback, if delivered appropriately, is effective at improving performance? Nevertheless, even with that stat, most of us avoided feedback. We avoid giving it, we avoid receiving it. Why? Because it's uncomfortable. Why? Because it risks the relationship. Why? Because hearing you're not there yet can feel like rejection when really it's a gift. Like, have you ever had someone ask you what you thought about their article, their video, their book or post and you were just kind of. But not honest. You didn't be honest because you didn't feel like you had permission to tell the truth. Because the truth is sometimes it wasn't that good. But you're trying to be a good friend. And you think being a good friend means telling them what they want to hear instead of what they need to hear. And we just don't want to hurt anyone's feelings, so we just say, great job, and move on. I've been on both sides of that moment. I've been the guy hoping for real feedback in getting sugar coated compliments. I've been the guy trying to find a polite way to say, you've got a little work to do. But I just couldn't find it in my heart to do it because I didn't feel like the person was in a position to receive that they're not there yet. And it was just weird. And so I've got this question that I want to ask you today. Do you have somebody in your life who's willing to tell you the truth, even if it stings, not to tear you down, but to build you up? Because we all need at least one person in our corner who's not afraid to say, you're not there yet, but I believe you can get there. That's what Chad did for me. So what, what did I do with Chad's challenge? I kept showing up, I kept being faithful with the stages and platforms I did have. I kept looking for ways to add value to my clients and to my audience and to my platform. And then about a year later, Chad called me and he said, hey, I think we might be there. I'm going to pitch it to the team. And the team was 50, 50 from what I've heard. They may not admit that now, but back then, Chad told me what was going on behind the scenes. But in that moment, they rolled the dice. And now we get to do some pretty great things together. Listen, there are still stages and platforms that, quote, unquote, think about having me speak on their stage or do their podcast, and then guess what happens? They pass. Yeah, they. They pass. Am I there yet? I don't know, but I don't lose sleep over it. You know what I think? I think every day, like today is an opportunity to get better. And the there is not a specific stage. The there is me simply trying to reach my potential and give my best. And I just got to have some people in my life that can come alongside me and show me when I'm absolutely not doing that. I wake up every day and I give my best to whatever is in front of me. And I am going to encourage you to do the same and find somebody in your life who is willing to tell you the truth, not someone who flatters you someone who challenges you. Because when you have somebody like that, ooh, you find yourself in a position where you can truly grow. My friends, thank you for taking time today to listen to the Ryan Lee podcast. If today's episode challenged you in any way, hey, I would ask that you don't keep it to yourself and that you would share with a friend. And it would mean the world to me. If you take a moment to rate, review and subscribe. I send out an encouraging text every single week as well. If you'd like to subscribe to those encouraging text messages, you could text or podcast to the number 469-809-1201 and you will start getting some encouraging text messages from me at the beginning of each week. Thanks for being a part of the journey and we'll catch you next week.
