Episode Summary: "Ask Hole"

Podcast: The Ryan Leak Podcast
Host: Ryan Leak
Release Date: July 14, 2025

Introduction

In the episode titled "Ask Hole," Ryan Leak addresses a prevalent issue in personal and professional development: individuals who seek advice without taking actionable steps to implement it. Drawing from his extensive experience as an executive coach and speaker, Leak delves into the concept of the "askhole" and offers practical strategies to foster meaningful mentorship relationships.

Defining the "Askhole"

At the outset, Ryan Leak introduces the term "askhole," a phrase coined by his friend and pastor, Amy Dockery. An askhole is someone who repeatedly seeks advice on the same matters without applying the guidance provided. Leak emphasizes the negative impact this behavior has on both the seeker and the mentor.

Ryan Leak [02:15]: "An askhole is someone who asks you for advice on the same thing over and over and over again, but they never actually listen to that advice."

He further explains that askholes often lack the courage, discipline, or humility to act on the advice they receive, sometimes seeking affirmation rather than genuine mentorship.

The Illusion of Competence

Leak warns against the "illusion of competence," a psychological trap where individuals believe they are improving simply by acquiring knowledge without practical application.

Ryan Leak [05:40]: "Sometimes what this illusion of competence is saying about us is it makes us feel like we're getting better at something just because we're learning about it."

He cautions that consuming vast amounts of information—through books, podcasts, and other media—does not equate to actual growth or transformation. Instead, real progress comes from applying what one learns.

Engaging a Mentor Effectively

Transitioning from identifying the problem, Leak offers solutions for those seeking meaningful mentorship. He outlines the importance of being a proactive and respectful mentee to cultivate lasting and impactful mentor-mentee relationships.

Ryan Leak [12:30]: "Everybody wants a mentor. Not everybody wants to be the kind of person that mentors look forward to mentoring."

To capture a mentor's attention, Leak suggests demonstrating a return on investment by actively implementing the advice received and showcasing tangible results.

Practical Takeaways: Five Questions to Ask a Mentor

Leak provides listeners with five thoughtfully crafted questions designed to deepen mentorship engagements and extract valuable insights:

1. "What's it cost to be you? And what's a price I should be paying right now to grow over the next year?"
   Understanding the sacrifices and investments mentors have made can provide clarity on what is required for personal growth.

   Ryan Leak [18:20]: "You don't actually know what it costs to be them every single day."

2. "What's something you used to really care about that you could care less about today?"
   This question helps identify shifts in priorities and ensures that one's current goals are aligned with long-term values.

   Ryan Leak [21:45]: "Something changed. And so in the process of building something you want to make sure that you're building it in a way that your future self will be proud of."

3. "What's the question you wished people asked you more?"
   Encourages mentors to share deeper insights beyond the commonly asked inquiries.

   Ryan Leak [25:10]: "The question you should be asking is, how can I add more value to people?"

4. "What's the most overlooked but essential habit you practice?"
   Gains insight into the daily routines or practices that contribute significantly to the mentor's success.

   Ryan Leak [28:55]: "Maybe that's something that I can add to my tool belt, to my repertoire."

5. "What would you do if you were in my shoes for the next 90 days?"
   Prompts actionable advice tailored to the mentee's current situation, fostering accountability.

   Ryan Leak [32:40]: "You should then go do exactly that, and then 90 days later, shoot them a thank you email."

The Importance of Action and Preparation

Leak underscores that merely collecting advice is futile without execution. He shares an anecdote about an individual who secured an interview with Warren Buffett by demonstrating thorough preparation and genuine interest, leading to an extended, meaningful interaction.

Ryan Leak [38:05]: "Someone that did some homework is the kind of person that has what it takes to succeed in business."

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Wrapping up the episode, Ryan Leak reiterates the significance of transforming knowledge into action. He encourages listeners to respect their mentors' time by applying the advice received and providing updates on their progress. By doing so, individuals not only honor the mentorship but also pave the way for continued support and deeper professional relationships.

Ryan Leak [45:30]: "Apply what you've learned. Execute on what you've asked for. Respect the investment. Be worth the mentorship."

Leak concludes with a motivational prompt, urging listeners to move beyond merely knowing and to "do it anyways," thereby distinguishing themselves from mere "know-it-alls."

Key Takeaways

• Avoid Being an Askhole: Seek advice with the intent to implement it, respecting both your time and that of your mentors.
• Combat the Illusion of Competence: Focus on actionable steps rather than accumulating knowledge passively.
• Engage Meaningfully with Mentors: Prepare thoughtful questions and demonstrate progress to foster valuable mentorships.
• Value Action Over Information: Transformation comes from doing, not just learning.

Notable Quotes

• Defining Askhole:
  "An askhole is someone who asks you for advice on the same thing over and over and over again, but they never actually listen to that advice." — Ryan Leak [02:15]

• Illusion of Competence:
  "Sometimes what this illusion of competence is saying about us is it makes us feel like we're getting better at something just because we're learning about it." — Ryan Leak [05:40]

• Mentorship Engagement:
  "Everybody wants a mentor. Not everybody wants to be the kind of person that mentors look forward to mentoring." — Ryan Leak [12:30]

• Action Over Knowledge:
  "You get points for doing. There's nothing more frustrating for a mentor than sitting with an asshole who's asking for advice they refuse to act on." — Ryan Leak [09:50]

Final Thoughts

"Ask Hole" serves as a compelling reminder of the true essence of mentorship and personal growth. Ryan Leak effectively highlights the pitfalls of seeking advice without action and equips listeners with practical tools to forge meaningful and productive relationships with their mentors. By emphasizing action, respect, and genuine engagement, Leak provides a roadmap for listeners to transcend passive learning and achieve tangible progress in their personal and professional lives.