30 NBA Teams in 30 (Actually 60) Minutes, Plus Life Advice

Summary

The Ryen Russillo Show — "30 NBA Teams in 30 (Actually 60) Minutes, Plus Life Advice"

Date: February 16, 2026
Host: Ryen Russillo (A), with producers/contributors Ceruti (C), Kyle (D), and other minor voices
Podcast Theme: All-Star break NBA midseason check-in — a rapid-fire "vibe check" for all 30 NBA teams, plus signature life advice and banter.

Episode Overview

Ryen Russillo and his crew continue their annual tradition of going through all 30 NBA teams — intended as "30 teams in 30 minutes" (but obviously much longer). The focus: how each team and its fans should feel at the All-Star break, compared to preseason expectations and current outlooks. Segments are fast, honest, and full of characteristic Russillo wit and sharp NBA analysis. After hoops, the show pivots to its trademark "Life Advice," tackling issues sent in by listeners with humor and empathy.

Main Sections:

1. Rapid NBA Team Rundown — Eastern & Western Conferences
2. Life Advice

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1. NBA Midseason "Vibe Check" — All 30 Teams

Format

• Not ranking teams numerically, but rather offering a qualitative check-in: "Based on what was expected and what's happening now, how should fans feel?"
• Some very brief attention to future prospects or likely trades, but focus is on the now.

Eastern Conference

1. Detroit Pistons

• Summary: Massive turnaround after years in the basement. “It’s one of the great turnarounds in recent memory.” (A, 04:27)
• Strengths: Physicality, defense, Cade's versatility in closing situations—even if shooting is a concern.
• Quote: “They should feel absolutely great about who they are.” (A, 04:28)
• Concern: Playoff shooting/spacing, rotation decisions (Herder/Robinson).
• Outlook: Massive reasons for optimism, even though winning the East is not expected yet.
• Memorable: “It’s a massive disappointment if they’re not in the NBA Finals because that still feels a little soon...” (A, 05:22)

2. Boston Celtics

• Summary: Overachieving in a supposed "gap year."
• Quote: “I can’t believe they’re this good. This was thought to be a gap year...” (A, 06:08)
• Key Insight: Jaylen Brown’s value post-extension; Missoula’s coach of the year credentials.
• Outlook: Should be thrilled; Tatum's status looms.

3. New York Knicks

• Summary: Still solid, maybe stagnating?
• Quote: “It feels more like, hey, this is so much fun, but the flaws are kind of more flawy this year.” (A, 08:38)
• Notable: “There’s something weirdly wrong with this team. The parts don’t perfectly fit...” (C, 08:48)
• Playoff potential? Marginally higher than last year because of chaos in the East.

4. Cleveland Cavaliers

• Summary: Down from last year’s 64-win pace, but could still nab the 2-seed if healthy.
• Quote: “It was supposed to be their East...” (A, 10:32)
• Concerns: Health (especially Mobley); shooting a bit down but trending up.

5. Toronto Raptors

• Summary: Maximizing opportunity as other East teams stumble.
• Quote: “They’re a really good defensive team that, if you’re not ready for them... they will attack. They'll get out and run...” (A, 11:47)
• Asterisk: Russillo not picking them in the first round, but fanbase should feel positive.

6. Philadelphia 76ers

• Summary: Feel pretty good—Maxey and Edgeco are exciting; Joel Embiid’s absences are a concern.
• Quote: “At the very least, at least there’s something.” (A, 14:31)
• Outlook: Early-stage backcourt means there’s hope past the current frustrating “maybe it’s time to move on” era.

7. Orlando Magic

• Summary: The single most disappointing team this season.
• Quote: “They’re a fucking mess.” (A, 17:59)
• Notable: Bane has been best player; still dead last in 3P%. “It used to be that Cleveland... but Orlando is 25 and 26... No way this is who this team should be.” (A, 16:25)
• Speculation: Likely coaching change before they trade a star like Banchero (Paolo).

8. Miami Heat

• Summary: Hovering, stagnant, and “fucking boring.” (A, 19:17)
• Outlook: Not bad, but not worth getting excited about.

9. Charlotte Hornets

• Summary: Quietly climbing after a brutal start. “Team to start the story over post that terrible start.”
• Quote: “The offense is terrific. They’re deep. They have the Kobe White option. I think they’re getting into the playoffs right now.” (A, 20:32)

10. Atlanta Hawks

• Summary: Stuck, but respected for finally moving on from Trae Young.
• Quote: “It feels like a reset second half. And, yeah, it’s disappointing...” (A, 21:43)

11. Chicago Bulls

• Summary: Directionless “Sacramento of the East”; perpetually one step behind in asset management.
• Quote: “What’s the point of this?” (A, 23:23)

12. Milwaukee Bucks

• Summary: “Incomplete”—injuries, weird chemistry with Giannis’ future always looming.
• Quote: “This is a really frustrating year from a star who... takes the joy out of the random Tuesday night win.” (A, 25:37)

13. Brooklyn Nets

• Summary: Exceeding (very low) expectations for young roster building.
• Quote: “Fans should feel better about the season than at least what you were thinking in September.” (A, 27:30)

14. Indiana Pacers

• Summary: “Home run season”—tank year but with huge upside after adding talent, with Haliburton’s injury increasing draft odds.
• Quote: “This could end up being one of the best things that could happen to the Pacers.” (A, 28:24)
• Notable throwback: “Red Auerbach once said... a year is not a long time.” (A, 29:22)

15. Washington Wizards

• Summary: Rebuild is clear, some optimism with young players.
• Quote: “This can’t be disappointing because you’re still going to get the high pick... you’re just going to kind of figure this out...” (A, 29:38)

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Western Conference

1. Oklahoma City Thunder

• Summary: Defending champs, but slightly under last year’s historic pace.
• Quote: “I could make a case that this is a little disappointing… after that start, it felt like it was them and everybody else. And it doesn’t feel that way as we’re into February.” (A, 32:06)
• Key concern: Jalen Williams’ health; weak rebounding.

2. San Antonio Spurs

• Summary: The happiest or 2nd happiest fanbase. Wembanyama ascending; program finally back on track.
• Quote: “Spurs fans should be the happiest fan base in the entire League. But you gotta put Detroit in there.” (A, 34:58)
• Notable: Castle’s improvement; guard depth; vibes are immaculate.

3. Denver Nuggets

• Summary: Jokic-less stretch revealed new depth and resilience; "can win the title," nothing derailed that belief.
• Highlight: “You figured out without Jokic that there’s some depth here... and then you bring back the best player in the world.” (A, 38:10)

4. Houston Rockets

• Summary: Good but unclear offensive identity; young core still searching for a breakout.
• Quote: “This is pretty simple. Yeah, I don’t think they can... win four series with this offense.” (A, 38:48)

5. Minnesota Timberwolves

• Summary: Uneven play against top teams is a mild red flag.
• Quote: “I would say neutral for Minnesota because they’ve been a real like, hey, are we about to turn the corner here…” (A, 41:46)

6. Los Angeles Lakers

• Summary: Expectations have recalibrated; not a true Finals contender but have elite top-end talent.
• Quote: “Lakers fans are always going to be disappointed... The team being in the Western Conference finals feels impossible.” (A, 42:20)

7. Phoenix Suns

• Summary: “Surprise” playoff relevance. Happy to be here after last year’s drama.
• Quote: “You should be pumped that any of these games are relevant based on the way the basketball world talked about the Suns.” (A, 45:30)

8. Golden State Warriors

• Summary: In NBA limbo — not contenders, not tankers, just stuck.
• Quote: “It does feel a little ‘what’s the point’-ish..." (A, 45:39)
• Memorable moment: Russillo and Ceruti discuss Steph’s future—universally agreed he’d get a pass if he leaves for greener pastures.

9. Los Angeles Clippers

• Summary: Given turmoil, should actually feel good—Lawrence Frank’s scrambling paid off, Kawhi in great shape, young talent emerging.
• Quote: “The Clippers got to like plan F in a matter of days... you should actually be really pumped if you're a Clippers fan..." (A, 48:10)

10. Portland Trail Blazers

• Summary: Quiet fun, good asset play (Deni Avdija trade), not quite exciting enough for more than "sneaky fun".
• Quote: “Maybe it’s muted excitement...” (A, 49:52)

11. Memphis Grizzlies

• Summary: “Is it that much of a bummer?”—team has already started transitioning after darker injury-plagued year.
• Quote: “It's sad because it's over, but... they have maximized the transition over whatever the next thing is.” (A, 53:22)

12. Dallas Mavericks

• Summary: New hope with Cooper Flagg; Kyrie’s saga unresolved.
• Quote: “Every night with Cooper Flagg is probably like an antidepressant...” (A, 53:29)

13. Utah Jazz

• Summary: Foundation pieces in place; Triple J ("Jared Jackson") out, but Keonte and others ascending.
• Quote: “I am all in on ownership, leadership, coaching of this team...” (A, 56:16)
• Outlook: Could get even more exciting with lottery luck.

14. New Orleans Pelicans

• Summary: Should be bummed—own pick is gone, no clear path out of mediocrity unless one young guy pops.
• Key Debate: Who's more depressed—Pelicans or Kings fans?

15. Sacramento Kings

• Summary: Only potential salvation is winning the lottery; otherwise, organizational mess and little on-court hope.
• Quote: “Sacramento has nothing I’m excited about except a guy who isn’t on the team.” (A, 59:24)

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General NBA Segment Takeaways

• Format is fun, fast, and “real talk”—less stat-heavy, more about what it feels like to root for each team right now.
• Major recurring themes: Hope in the cellar (Spurs, Pistons), fatigue in the middle (Heat, Bulls, Warriors), and that “reset” seasons for a few teams (Pacers, Grizz, Jazz) could end up being far more rewarding than expected.
• Most damning lines: Orlando Magic—"They're a fucking mess" (A, 17:59) and Bulls—"What's the point of this?" (A, 23:23).
• Most optimistic: Spurs/Pistons fans, Indiana’s clever tank, OKC’s continued ascent, and the sneakily fun Hornets.

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2. Life Advice

[Starts ~63:12]

Main Questions & Discussions

a) Spray Deodorant vs. Stick (65:23)

• Emailer uses spray, wonders why soap stick is more common/desirable.
• Russillo and crew solve it with classic “just personal preference, but spray is weird” banter.

b) Should I Fight My Coworker? (69:41)

• Listener describes a co-worker ("Ken") who repeatedly makes cruel jokes about marriage and fertility, including a crass “let me know if you need any help with that” comment.
• Russillo's guidance: Don’t fight him, but realize it’s a sign Ken’s own life is bad: “Instead of being pissed at you, I’m just going to realize that your life sucks.” (A, 73:19)
• Memorable banter on corporate culture and when physical fighting ever makes sense (spoiler: almost never if you want to keep your job).
• Tactics suggested:
  • “Crank up the insults, especially if his wife is around.” (A, 77:01)
  • “Just whisper horrible things to him where no one can hear…” (D, 77:13)
• Conclude with stories about how to handle assholes—in and outside of work.

c) Random Roommate Hell (College) (82:58)

• Listener stuck with a weed-smoking, late-night singing, oblivious roommate.
• Crew’s advice: Either confront her directly, or let the landlord know if you want a non-confrontational solution.
• Russillo’s wisdom: “I think you need to confront a situation that you don’t like to learn what you’re capable of.” (A, 87:24)
• Kyle: “The sick thing is, there’s a finish line. The stakes are low. Put up a shot if you want to, or just wait it out.” (D, 87:34)

Life Advice Tone

• Irreverent but thoughtful.
• Focused on personal growth (“pick your battles, but don’t go through life never saying anything”).
• Willingness to indulge in some petty revenge (crank up the insults), but always with the final goal of maintaining your own peace.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Vibespeak: “I’m so sick of the word ‘vibe’... but, honestly, I don’t even know that anybody’s wrong in doing it. I’m likely wrong for just not titling it that.” (A, 03:13)
• On Magic disappointment: “They’re a fucking mess.” (A, 17:59)
• On spiritual sports fandom: “It’s a pretty powerful feeling when you just go, instead of being pissed at you, I’m just going to realize that your life sucks.” (A, 73:29)
• On the “forgotten Sarah Marshall” analogy to Mavs fandom: “Every night with Cooper Flagg is probably like an antidepressant and maybe a holistic one...” (A, 53:29)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:07] – Explanation of the "vibe check" concept
• [04:23]–[30:29] – Eastern Conference team-by-team
• [31:40]–[60:44] – Western Conference team-by-team
• [63:12] – Life Advice begins
  • [65:23] – Spray deodorant
  • [69:41] – "Should I Fight My Coworker?"
  • [82:58] – Living with a nightmare roommate

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Episode Highlights & Why Listen

• If you want the clearest, most honest pulse on every NBA team headed into the post-All-Star sprint: this is your episode.
• Russillo's ability to cut through hype and see the bigger emotional and developmental patterns—plus his willingness to call out GMs, ownership, and fan delusions—makes this valuable for hardcore NBA fans.
• "Life Advice" is as sharp and entertaining as ever, tackling the gray areas of adulthood, work, and annoying people with wisdom and humor.

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Final Assessment

A signature, sprawling Russillo episode—equal parts sharp NBA check-in and relatable life commentary. Perfect for those seeking a casual but thorough state-of-the-league update, and for listeners who love the blend of sports, pop culture tangents, and practical philosophy.

Transcript

[A]

Hey Rosilla listeners.

[B]

You can find every episode on Apple Podcasts and Spotify prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music. Out on the course, they're the PGA tourist best players, but in the arena, they're prime time.

[C]

And season two of TGL, presented by SoFi, is back. With lights, cameras, action.

[B]

We're talking big moments, big personalities, big names in the stands all on the big screen. Big time matchups with shot clocks, Hammer drops, timeouts, overtime and playoffs. It's city versus city, squad versus Squad. Ah, this sport just hits different under the light.

[A]

It's TGL presented by SoFi.

[D]

Keep up. It's golf.

[B]

Tune in to every match only on espn. All Star break annual tradition 30 teams in 30 minutes or an hour. We're going to run through every single team and how their fan base should.

[A]

Feel based on what they thought would.

[B]

Happen this season and where your team is. Now past the All Star break and we've got life advice for you. NTBD Portugal Travelog En Route Big waves on the horizon Every week in the NBA, stars rise, legends are made, and one player rules them all. DraftKings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NBA, is bringing back King of the Core. And now it's every Tuesday of the season. Here's how it works. DraftKings is putting up $1 million in bonus bets each week. Opt in, apply your token and place a $5 pregame bet on on the NBA star you think will dominate each Tuesday. If your pick finishes the night leading the league in points, rebounds and assists, they're crowned King of the Court and you win your share of 1 million in bonus bets. And this season, there's a new way to track the action. The King of the Court leaderboard Inside the app before tip off, see the top 10 stars in PRA. While games are live, watch your pick, climb the ranks, and when it's over, find out exactly where your star stacked up and if you you've been crowned a winner. Download the DraftKings sportsbook app. Use the code RYAN. That's code RYAN R Y E N to share in $1 million in bonus bets. If your player is King of the Core in partnership with DraftKings, the Crown is yours.

[A]

Gambling Problem Call 1-800-Gambler in New York, call 877-8-Hopeny or text hopeny 467-369 in Connecticut. Help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino and Resort in Kansas.

[D]

Pass through of per wager tax may.

[A]

Apply in Illinois 21 and over. Age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void in Ontario. One token per customer that expires at the start of the final NBA game when offered Winning shared is $1,000,000 in non withdrawable bonus bets that expire in 7 days. Restrictions apply. [e-mail] promos I can't say we've done it every year, but I know when we did it in the past we were like, is there any way we can do 30 teams in 30 minutes? And if you've watched a good 10 minutes, that's likely impossible. So that'll be the plan. 30 teams in however many minutes. We're going to try to keep it to 30. We'll break it up east and west. Ceruti will chime in when needed.

[C]

Yeah, well, this was going to be. Are we rating them 1 to 10? This is how the season's gone now.

[A]

I don't know that I'm ready to do that because, you know, sometimes it's like, why do you give somebody a five? Why do you give somebody a six? I think it's. I think with the way you would set it because we just. I'm so sick of the word vibe. Because it's in 60.

[C]

I said that last night. You got mad like, well, we're not gonna call it that.

[A]

I was like, we can't title it vibe Check NBA. Although it would probably just work. You know, like when somebody describes some diner in their town and they're just like, it's kind of a vibe. I was like, so you just have no other way to describe it.

[C]

You're not creative at all. Okay, got it.

[A]

Yeah. Right now you saw it on 700 other videos. So I'm just gonna. I mean, honestly, I don't even know that anybody's wrong in doing it. I'm likely wrong for just not titling it that it's already taking too long. So I think the premise is. Because it was your idea and I loved it. It's just every team check in, how should they feel about themselves where they're at right now?

[D]

Right.

[A]

It's.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

It's not like a futures ranking. Maybe there'll be a little futures sprinkling couple Greg sprinkles in there. But for the most part, I think it's going to make sense.

[C]

Yeah. Originally I was like, do we rate them 1 to 10? 1 being terrible, 10 being the best. Because the magic after last night is a zero. So we can get to them when we get to them and that's where the idea came from.

[A]

I'm going to save my Usman Jang stuff, so.

[C]

All right, Detroit Pistons. We're going to start with the East.

[A]

It's one of the great turnarounds in recent memory. I think there's also, like, how quickly OKC turned things around. But it also speaks to how terrible the coaching situation was a couple years ago for them to have a triple wins improvement. They're a game and a half behind Oklahoma City. They're clearly in their own tier in the East. They should feel absolutely great about who they are. We can go through any title contender and pick out some sort of flaw. The three point shooting across the board from their main guys isn't Great. Cade's at 32. Duran doesn't shoot threes. Thompson's at 30%. I mean, some of these numbers are brutal. Ron Hollands 23%. Lavert's 33%. Stu's 32%. So Duncan Robinson's Tobias at 40 and 36%. So you're trying to figure out like in a playoff series. That's basically the only concern right now in a playoff series. Can they balance the floor with enough shooting? But it's also, are you going to close with Kevin Herder and Duncan Robinson? And in the early games, Herder hasn't even played a ton. So does the shooting become something that hurts them? They're more physical than everybody. The defense is terrific. And whenever I think about a playoff team going, what can they do offensively that I feel really good about, to just default to and Cade in different matchups is something that I love. So they should feel great even if I'm not. Is certain to say like, the east is theirs. And it's a massive disappointment if they're not in the NBA Finals because that still feels a little soon after losing last year in the first round.

[C]

It was weird because they were kind of like the team a lot of people picked to take a step back. I feel like in the east and they've just completely gone the opposite way. And I love it because I love Cade. We love. We both love Cade. So there you go. All right, next, number two in the East, Boston Celtics.

[A]

I can't believe they're this good. This was thought to be a gap year and you could argue for new ownership getting away from that tax bill had they made it to the NBA Finals, maybe won an NBA title last year. Although I still think they're going to lose that series. Even if Tatum was healthy. There's just Something wrong. That Boston offensive thing that drives you crazy, that did not cost them a title in 24. But for Tatum to be out and then you start thinking like, do you trade Jaylen Brown? Do you try to get one of these picks and then almost do like a Pacer's version of what they're doing with Halliburton out and Instead they're the 2 seed in the East. It's, it's ridiculous. Missoula. I mean there's always a great arguments for coach of the year stuff, but he has to be in this and, and with Jaylen Brown season this year when he got that extension a few years ago, and it's debated like, can he really pay this guy that much? And now at 53 million, the 12th highest paid player in the league there, no one ever would talk about it, right? Like, whatever his value is now hit another level. He's unlike any other player of my entire career of watching the NBA. Anytime I think he can't get any better, he gets even better. So they should feel thrilled. And now this Tatum practicing thing, I don't know what it means. Maybe it's the rehab psychology, but a massive win for a team that we thought could potentially like tank for a year.

[C]

Yep. All right. Three in the east, the New York Knicks, who are a half a game as we tape this back at the Celtics.

[A]

I think you feel the same way you felt last year, but maybe worse. Maybe a little worse. Like they're fine. They, they could, if things broke right, win the East. They're ahead of last year's 51 and 31 record. There's six guys, and I'd say seven when Miles McBride is healthy, are really good. The Alvarado thing, I know last night he went off. There's going to be, hey, Knicks fans. There's going to be great moments and there's going to be really annoying moments, but you desperately needed another ball handler. The one five things you can attack defensively against them in the playoff series are going to show up again with Brunson and Cat. It's just, it's going to happen. I wonder if they'd be more willing to close a playoff game with Mitchell Robinson like we've seen in some of these regular season games. And Cat just hasn't been as good this year. And I think, I think there's probably like a year two Cat experience where you're like, oh, this is why this guy was available. So it feels the same, but likely with the passion of that fan base, you're probably Going, are we taking a step further? You might be taking a step further just based on the seating because of the mess that's around you in the East. So I don't know that you're more enthused. Even though you're ahead of last year's 51 win pace, it feels more like, hey, this is so much fun, but the flaws are kind of more flaw e this year.

[C]

Yeah, I feel like there's something weirdly wrong with this team. Like the parts don't make. Don't perfectly fit like you'd think that they would. And.

[A]

And they won nine of 10 before the Pacers lost. So, like, I feel bad agreeing with you.

[C]

Right.

[D]

But.

[C]

But I do feel like they have a better chance of making the finals this year maybe than they even did last year. Just because the east is, you know, as much as we love Cade in Detroit, we just don't know. You kind of. Yeah.

[A]

Like, before you see it, I wouldn't sit here and say they can't beat, like, oh, no, they can't beat that team in the East. Right.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So maybe, maybe you do feel a little bit better. I think the cat stuff drags it down a little in year two.

[C]

Shocker. All right, now I feel like this is like a different tier than those teams. Even though the Cleveland Cavs were fourth in the east right now, only a half. Only a game. Back at the Knicks as we tape this, they're number four in the east right now. Obviously they made some moves. Where are you at in the Cavs? Like, guess, you know.

[A]

Okay, now, yeah, I think they're going to be the 2 seed if Mobley ends up being healthy, which is going to be kind of like a weird momentum. Did the Cavs figure things out and you go, well, they won 64 games last year with those four guys, so we know it's always a health thing with them. For, you know, a lot of teams. It's the same exact story, but I looked at the shooting and they were number two on three point shooting last year. When Windhorse came on, talked about the turnover, who was available, who wasn't? The Ty Jerome minutes that were so important to this team last year. They're 16th on threes, but if you look at like the true shooting percentage stuff, they're number one in the NBA in February. Granted, it's only five games, so they're number three in January. Like, Harden's going to put up numbers. The shooting probably is going to come back around where they're not one of these terrible shooting Teams, it didn't really make any sense with the personnel that they had. So with their depth, I think healthy Mobley means they're a two seed. But you still have to be a little disappointed that you go, you know, it was supposed to be their East. It was. At the very least, they were supposed to be in the Easter Conference finals. And it doesn't feel as much of a certainty as it did at least this summer. For me.

[C]

Number five in the east is maybe this pod's favorite team. I say, yeah, a little tongue in cheek, but honestly, as I said, liked him before the season. I like their, some of their. I like their five. And they've sort of proved that to be right. I don't know where they are in the contenders in the East. I'd probably rank them below all the teams we already talked about. But the Toronto Raptors are currently the five seed in the east right now with two All Stars, I believe. So where we at in Toronto?

[A]

Well, the carryover from defensive stuff they were doing last year has held up the number 7 on D after the All Star break. Last year they were number two defensively in the entire NBA. Okay, that's 27 games. They went 13 and 14. So whatever they figured out with this staff and with their guys and granted, you know, some of the moving parts, like all of these teams, they just got Pearl back. I like their depth, I like cmb. I like what they can do with Walter on this kind of three and D stuff that they like to do. Shed is like a real rotational guard, so there's a lot of nice players on this team. My issues are always kind of like the finances of like, man, you're spending a lot of guys, it's a lot of money on like kind of BB minus guys. But considering who they were last year and the, hey, maybe they go. 500. Like, who cares? I'm not going to pick them in a playoff series against anybody else. I like the way they play. Generally. There's, there's clearly issues that I could get into here deeper, but they're a really good defensive team that if you're not ready for them and transition to they, they will attack. They'll. They'll get out and run with all these young guys that are all pretty good on the ball. So I think you should feel really good if you're a Raptors fan, even if I'm probably not going to pick you against the team in the first round.

[C]

Yeah, they feel like the team has taken the most advantage of some of the teams we thought in the east that were going to be better not being as good. Orlando Hawks, you know, even maybe throw Miami and they're basically the entire Southeast Division. I would say they're kind of the team that's like, all right, we're going to be, we're decent, we're going to be okay. And yeah, here they are, the five seed pushing for, you know, obviously not even have to get out the plan. Number six, the Sixers sitting at the six seed in the East.

[A]

This is the same thing. I think you feel great about the maxi jump, that VJ is already this good. He hit a turnaround last night, post up, turnaround baseline. And I'm like, who is this guy? This guy's a year out of college hitting that kind of shot already. So you have these two on ball dynamic attackers that are just brutal if they get any kind of angle on you, it's amazing to have both of them now. Do you want to say defensively you're going to be giving up some stuff. They're two guys you're going to attack because of the stature of them physically, sure, fine. But you know, the Joel thing, he's missed 31 of 54 games. They're 19 and 12 with him in the lineup. And that's including some of those games at the beginning of the year where, you know, he's still so brilliant enough as a score. He's always going to kind of get his points, but he just, he's clearly moving better now and, and they were winning some of those games with him looking just lost, being attacked. I always think of that Bulls regular season game where they're like, hey, get you all every single action here. Some teams don't do it because they don't want to get too predictable. And the Paul George part of it, like he was, he was getting a little bit better, but he's so clearly the fourth guy here. I like Barlow, I like Ubre on certain nights and it, I, I don't even know. I don't even think you look at it and say, hey, this is disappointing because this is just kind of who they are. Except there's a longer term excitement that a team like this normally doesn't have access to somebody like BJ Edgeco. So whatever this is, this might just be like a prolonged year two of the third year of hanging on to what they have with the bad contracts. But at the very least, at least there's something. There you go. Okay, well, when this thing cycles itself out and there's a Joel decision and whatever happens with Paul George, like you're going to be starting with potentially like long term all star backcourt guys. So not saying they're going to make it every single year, but you get the point. Like there's almost a transition on the horizon for them. That should make you feel better about how frustrating this team can be in night. Can be night in, night out.

[C]

I think Philly fans should be pumped that they got a bonafide top 1520 guy who is fun to watch. They've got Edgecomb who's you know, one of the most exciting young players in the league. I mean from what we thought this team was going to be, which was a pain to watch and horrible and an injury riddled team that was going nowhere to where they are now, I think they, if I'm a Sixers fan, like this is like the best case scenario of what, of what we could have been. So I, you know, I don't want to speak.

[A]

You were higher on. Yeah, no, I get your point. Like it's, it really is an incredible team because depending on the possession they're both the most like one of the most fun teams to watch and then also one of the most infuriating teams to watch their possession of possession.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

Right.

[C]

Yeah. Well, speaking of one of the most infuriating teams to watch, definitely for you and I, the Orlando Magic sit in the plan right now as the seven seed. They lost to Milwaukee last night. Camp Thomas goes off and his first game as a buck. That was not a fun watch for Magic fans. I got to tell you right now.

[A]

I, you're, you're choked up.

[C]

I don't know that you can come back from this. I think the season might be close to being over. They look lifeless. The defensive energy isn't there. Slugs played well last night. I don't know what's up with Paulo. He goes in these things in and out of playing well for the last month. He played pretty well last night. I just, I didn't like, I didn't look good at all. Franz obviously has been hurt. I think they're between two styles of what they want to be. I think part of the team wants to run. The other team wants to play in the half court and just grind it out on defense. I think they're lost and I do not think it's fixable the rest of the season.

[A]

As a Palo defender, I don't like what I saw last night from him. You can see it in between the plays in the downtime where you're like what are you doing, man? You just checked out on this whole thing now, on his aside. Well, I'm not even going to say because we're aligned here. They're the most disappointing story in the NBA this year. And it used to be that Cleveland, because the expectations are probably a little bit higher. Most expensive payroll, the 64 wins last year. But like I said, like Cleveland, whatever version of this is, they're. They're writing the ship a little bit here. Orlando is 25 and 26. They were 41 and 41 last year. There were seven seed last year, seven seed this year. There's no way this is who this team should be. And I was looking at, like, the shooting numbers because it was always, hey, really good defense. Like their young guys, they just don't have enough shooting to balance it all out. Leads to Palo having to force a ton of bad shots because there's just no spacing around him. The Frond shooting issue of the previous years. But if you look at 22 on 28th from 3, 24th from 3, 24th from three. Last year, they shot it under 32% as a team from three. That's fucking impossible. All right? They were last in the NBA. You add Bane, you're like, okay, this is worth it. We desperately need. And I'm not only. Look, it's not even just that Bane's a sniper. It's the driving. It's all the other stuff.

[C]

Bain's been awesome, by the way. Bane has arguably been the best player on the team. Maybe, you know, he and Anthony Black have really, like, kind of carrying things.

[A]

Black takes this jump and you add bane and you're below.500. And guess what? They add Bane. You know what the ranking is in three point shooting as of this morning?

[C]

28.

[A]

That would be nice. It'd be 30th. They're last again.

[C]

Great.

[A]

They're a fucking mess.

[C]

Yep. Good times. Everybody's doing great. I don't think it's fixable. The Paolo stuff is weird. You know, we gotta. I don't know, we'll do. Maybe we'll do a deep dive later in the season on, like, what the hell went wrong? But I feel like the off season is where they're gonna fix this. They're Moses. I think he's here to stay for the rest of the regular season. But a lot of Magic fans. Last night was a kind of the turning point. So it's coach.

[A]

You get fired before the player would get traded, Right?

[C]

You said you can't. I saw some rumors about trading Paulo, you're like, dude, there's gonna be like two different coaches after. Mostly before they trade someone like Paulo, unless they get blown away, so. All right, good times. Staying with the Southeast. The heat last night, they got a win and I had that in my. In my alliance pick last night took them on the money line as they were underdogs against the Pelicans. They are just hovering around. They're the eight seed right now, half game back of the magic. You call them the most boring team in the league. I think before the season started, where we at?

[A]

Yeah, and they went 13 and 6 and people made fun of us. And now they've been 16 and 21. So they're boring. I respect it. Cool style, bro. The attacking, the changing of the pace. There's a bunch of players I like. They do really well on the margins. You know, they seem to do well on the margins. Memphis does well on the margins. There's other teams as well. But they're fucking boring.

[C]

All right? So we need to say, you know, it's not boring. The nine seed Charlotte Hornets, baby. They are what, number three in net rating? I think in the last like 20 or so. I mean, they've been unbelievable. Our guy Kahn killing it always. Like, Brandon Miller, the Hornets, like, I mean, would you bet them to make the playoffs? As of right now?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I would. I mean, Barkley was on inside the NBA and he's like, they're going to make the plan. And that was a couple weeks ago. And then Kenny and Shaq, who clearly hadn't looked at the standings in a fucking month, were like, no, come on, Chuck. You know, and you're just like, they're. I think they're a game and a half out of the plan.

[B]

This is a very, like the ebbs.

[A]

And flows, right, of all of these teams. You know, Cleveland's had these monstrous regular season runs where it's like, how come you don't think they're going to win the NBA championship? I remember that Clipper stretch again. I called that win at Boston the most misleading outcome of a game that I've seen in years. Because of when you watch that game, you went, oh, my God, like, if this is what they're going to do, they might win this whole thing. And when I look at. When I look at Charlotte, and again, I'm getting choked up here. When I look at Charlotte, you basically have to draw a line after that bad start and go, team. Yeah, you go young team. Disastrous. Now let's run the numbers. Because of how long this has been, like, I don't know that this is the ebb and flow that we have of so many of these teams. Hey, who's in, who's out? Who are you going up against? What's the schedule like? Is it a bunch of games? What's your road home split like? A lot of times you can tell the story of a team just looking at the schedule going. You know, are they really this good? Are they really this bad? Charlotte is the rare example of you need to just start the stove, the start the season story over post, that terrible start. The offense is terrific. They're deep. They have the Kobe white option. I think they're getting into the playoffs right now.

[C]

In DraftKings, they're minus 1. 15 to make the playoffs, minus 105 to miss. So basically almost even. I think the answer would be yes. Do I? If I was playing. If the Magic were playing them tomorrow to make the playoffs, I wouldn't pick the Magic, I'll tell you that right now. Anyway. All right, Atlanta hawks sit the 10 seed. This was a team. I didn't understand the hype in the beginning of the season that people were talking about them as, like, a top four seed. And this was obviously before the trade. Trade happened. They're, you know, I just think this is where they are. They're like, we like Jalen Johnson, we like the defense, but this is a really flawed basketball team. Right?

[A]

Yeah. But at least they finally, like, I give them a ton of respect for just going, we need to move on from the trade thing. All right? And they moved on from him at a terrible price. Where Memphis didn't like the job price, they're like, that's fine. And by the way, like, he's just going to be watching anyway. So I'm not even knocking Memphis necessarily. I mean, there can be a price that's so low that you go, we just can't do this anymore. So they've turned the page on something that is really hard. A star attraction that your fans like more than everybody else and clearly any general manager likes. So this feels like a reset second half. And, yeah, it's disappointing. Like, from the start of the year to now, the Porzingis thing was totally overblown. I'm with you. I couldn't believe how many times I was reading like, oh, now they have Brzingis. They've got this other dynamic with the Kangu where they can. They can close with this. They can do that. He's like, so all of a sudden, he's Just going to start playing there. Porzingis has had one year in multiple recent years where he was somebody you could trust, and that was the Wizards year, right before the Celtics had traded for him. And guess what? He got the contract. So I'm not even saying like he's a, he's a contract guy, but it did lineup. So it's disappointing for Atlanta, but longer term, a lot of respect for them. Ripping the band aid off.11 in the.

[C]

East, just outside the plan right now. Chicago Bulls, I think team that nobody has any idea what they're doing other than just acquiring guards.

[A]

I don't want to call them Sacramento of the East. I was thinking about that because at least there's pizzealous and giddies better than anybody on Sacramento. I just don't understand the point. I mean, this is. If you had a stockbroker who just seemed to inherently always get the read wrong, this is who the Bulls are. They just go like, oh, we have a couple nice things. They might have some value. It's like, let's just wait a little bit longer. Let's, let's wait a little bit longer until the values diminished and then maybe we'll get proactive. They seem to be a team that is totally, totally content in hoping to sneak into the playoffs for the extra revenue. And you know, as much as I have said in the past, when I look at teams, I go, you know, some of these guys that are just stuck in the middle, I respect for them, I'll respect that. They're just going, hey, can we just try to get a little bit better? Like every move is not necessarily tank or championship caliber move, right? You, you can't operate with like, hey, there's only two things we can do. Is it a championship level acquisition or should we tear it all down? Because a lot of us are in a hurry to say that every single team should tear it all down. The counter to that is the Chicago Bulls, where it's like, what the fuck is the point of this? So I don't even know if Bulls fans are disappointed because they're so used to it, but this trade market part of this and where the assets on this roster are. But at least again, there's two things with this team that you like and why I can't call them. Sacramento of the East.

[C]

Too many wins probably to really get in the tanking conversation and yet not good enough probably to make the playoffs or even the play, who knows? They're what, game and a half back. I think right now the Hawks and we like the Hawks better. Milwaukee just below half game, below the Bulls. They obviously beat the Magic last night, but no Giannis. This is a weird season.

[A]

Yeah. Like Bulls fans, I don't know. I had massive expectations for this. So I don't. I think Milwaukee's still more disappointing because Giannis is so special. You're like, well, they're probably still getting to the playoffs. Remember when they started 4 and 1? It was like, oh, man. Look, you guys all think Giannis is going to want out of this situation. It's like, all right, let's see what happens. Let's give it more than five games. Although you do wonder Cam Thomas and Usman Jang, are these the pieces where Giannis goes, all right, I'm good. I'll stick around. Now, I had. I had like, you guys killed it in this acquisition season. So to me, there's not even a grade on this thing.

[C]

It's an incomplete.

[A]

Yeah. Because you could just say, oh, they were losing more games. So, yes, it's disappointing. And I don't want to just look at every team that has a bad record and say, oh, this is incredibly disappointing because that's not exactly the best content. But this is a really frustrating year from a star who clearly, he and his camp want every angle. They want all of the money, they want to be able to pick their spot, but they also want everyone to think that they have nothing to do with it. So having that guy on a team, it just takes the joy out of the random Tuesday night win when you're not even expecting it because you're not going to do anything, obviously, this season.

[C]

All right, now we get to the full on tank squads. Brooklyn nets are, what, 13th in the east?

[A]

Yeah. And honestly, I think based on what I thought of them before the year and looking at the roster part of, Remember, we were doing like, would you trade anyone or the entire Brooklyn Nets roster for confident nipple? And I still probably would. Okay. But there's. There's nights with the Nets, some of the defensive stuff that are doing, The Michael Porter Jr. Transaction being an absolute home run. You know, whether it's the Gilman nights where it looks pretty good as a rookie, the Danny Wolf stuff, you know, there's. There's a bunch of things that, like, I don't know how many of these guys are going to be on this team in three years. And I don't know that there's one guy that's like, okay, at least you have like one of these guys. And when I'm saying, like, one I'm not even talking about, like, absolute face of the franchise. He's going to be awesome, like Ant. I'm talking, like, Keyshawn George. I was like, oh, that's. That's probably pretty exciting there. Having said that, my expectation of what this roster is and how they've played on certain nights and some of the stuff that I've seen from some of the young guys, I think that's. Fans should feel better about the season than at least what you were thinking in September.

[C]

Would agree. All right. Indiana Pacers, second to last in the east. Home run season.

[A]

Yeah, it might be one of the great seasons ever. Because if this ends up just being this gap year and then you add one of these top three or four guys and then you come back with healthy Halliburton, Zubac, obviously Siakam getting a little bit older, but Nemhardt, you know, even watching him in that next overtime win here, like, God damn, this guy can cook sometimes. You know, they never quite figured out the math from thing. Or maybe he never quite figured it out as well. And Jay Huff's been really good for that. And they didn't have to pay Miles Turner all this money. So I know it's disappointing, but you already. It's not like it happened. The Halliburton injury didn't happen in October. This could end up being one of the best things that could happen to the pace. There's a version of this where this is an unbelievable advantage of what they're able to do. And they're still running this like they're. They're gearing up to compete. And I kind of can't believe they even put the 26 pick in play. But that must be one of those things where they evaluate the draft and go, hey, there's four guys. And then if we don't get one of those four guys, we're totally fine losing players five through nine. So the record is what it is. But this is. This is something that, like this odd lane of, like having a ton of hope and being excited at a down year after playing for a championship.

[C]

Yeah, it's a. It's a different scenario, but it feels like. Like when the Celtics teams were still competitive and they still had those Nets picks, so they were like, wait, you guys are good? And you're going to add Jason Tatum to the mix? Like, okay, cool. Because this. They could be in the finals next year. Like, if. I mean, how. You know, obviously come a year off Achilles, like, I don't know, he's probably gonna be 100 next year, but the team's gonna be good next year if they add, you know, a Peterson or Boozer or whoever. Like, this is a. This is well worth a year of.

[A]

Of.

[C]

It's not even pain. Like, I don't know. I think sometimes it's fun when you. When there's no consequences. You're watching your team, it doesn't matter if they're bad or not. Sometimes those years are kind of fun. I think this year might be actually sneaky kind of fun for Pacers fans.

[A]

Red Auerbach once said when they took Bird a year ahead of time, he was like, a year is not a long time. And it's something I've never forgotten. He didn't say it to me when I read it in the book.

[C]

Last one, Wizards another. All right. Sneaky, optimistic.

[A]

Yeah, you should feel good. You should. You know, I don't necessarily love the transactions. I love the price on it. There's a different plan, but between Sar, Trey, Keyshawn. I've already done the segment a thousand times. I feel like on the Wizards, I feel like I've talked about the Wizards a lot, but this can't be disappointing because you're still going to get the high pick here in 26, and then you're just going to kind of figure this out and see where you're at. And with the Davis contract thing, and we already talked about this, what, he's under contract for next year, the player option north of 60 million. Two years from now, he's probably just going to pick those up and be like, hey, you can be upset about not getting extension. We're not. We don't have to do it. And if you want to opt out, go ahead. Go ahead and opt out. We didn't give up anything for you. Like, I just wondering, like, how many weeks somebody's going to go, chris Middleton's on the Mavs. They're like, yeah, that's right. He's on the map. So even with them being last the east, it's not disappointing.

[C]

All right, let's take a quick break, and then we'll do the West.

[B]

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[A]

That's what it feels like.

[B]

Here's what I need as far as a name.

[A]

Game time.

[B]

Dial it up, check it out. You know my deal, monitor the prices. I'm in. I'm looking around. Let's see how late can I go with this?

[A]

Boom, I'm in.

[B]

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[A]

Okay, 30 teams in 30 minutes and we're not going to make it under 30 minutes. Let's do the west. Saruti.

[C]

We almost hit 30 with the east alone. It's okay. Got a lot to say. Number one seed, defending champ Oklahoma City Thunder.

[A]

I could make a case that this is a little disappointing. I know that sounds outrageous, but based.

[C]

On how they started and us talking about they're going to win like 73 games. Basically. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, you're right. 42 and 13. Right now. Do you want to guess how many wins they had with their 13th loss last season?

[C]

How many wins they had with their 13th loss last season?

[A]

I see. I shouldn't have done this too. Great job. 64. Ceruti. Okay, yeah, so 42 or 13. Last year when they had the 13th loss again, 64 and 13 when they had their 42nd win, they were 42 and 9. They went on a massive run. Jalen's now going to miss his 30th game. He was 11:12 on Wednesday night, depending on when you listen to this. So going back to before the All Star break and everything happened, he was lighting it up. I think he had 28 and 20 minutes or something ridiculous like that. Then he injures the hamstring again, so he's out. So he's going to be looking like he's going to miss half the season. SGA's another level though. As great as he was in an MVP season last year, you look at the usage and then the lack of turnovers, you look at the shooting going up to another level. Like there's some advanced metric stuff that he was doing last year, that is just off the charts. And he's improved upon that. Like this dude from an efficiency standpoint, with the ball in his hands, with the focus on him defensively, it's, you know, you can get pissed about the free throws, but there's a lot of other stuff in there that's happening that's really, really special from him. And he's had to do it without the number two guy for more than half the season. So, like, a lot of teams, they've had guys miss time. Hartenstein, Caruso and all that kind of stuff. The rebound rate stuff is always a little alarming. It's 25th in rebound rate out of 30 teams this year in the NBA. Last year was 19. So that was one of those things. It's like, does this team not rebound enough for a championship? So after that start, I guess the only thing that you could say that makes it slightly disappointing is it felt like it was them and everybody else. And it doesn't feel that way to me as we're into February. And that's. That's the only. It's not even a criticism. It's just an obvious statement based on, like, the pace that they had set to start the year. And if they're fully healthy, maybe they stay on. I don't know if they're going to stay on that kind of historic pace. So, again, this is not a criticism of this team. They're the best team in the NBA. They have adaptability, they have depth, they can play big, they can play small. They have guys that are all comfortable with the basketball in their hands. But, yeah, if I wanted to get a little nitpicky, I could point out that they're actually behind last year's pace. The rebounding thing's still an issue. And if Jalen Williams isn't healthy, then, you know, get ready to maybe anoint somebody else here.

[C]

Spurs number two in the east, three and a half back of the Thunder, four and one. Though, against the Thunder this season. Is there a universe in which this fan base should be the most pumped about? I mean, obviously the Wemby thing, and they should be pumped in general, but, like, maybe it's them in Detroit that are the two teams that should be the most excited about how the season has unfolded?

[A]

Yeah, I think it's those two, because I was, you know, for the. The headline part of this. You've only listened to part one, or didn't listen to it. I would say spurs fans should be the happiest fan base in the entire League. But you got to put Detroit in there so you can just pick one, you can make some arguments. But San Antonio and watching that win against Golden State, something came up in the broadcast that just, it sinks in every now and then, you know, like this team, this franchise has not won a playoff series since 2017. All right, they haven't been in the playoffs since 2019, I think. And at 38 and 16, that's now matching their 2017 start record wise through 54 games or maybe a win ahead of that, remember to the 17 Western Conference finals against the Warrior. So I, I don't know how you couldn't be like, whether it's Wemby, even in a limited version of him continuing to ascend. The castle part is as big of this as anything else because it's like, hey, maybe we have kind of like this, this fun and you're energetic, super aggressive guard, not sure if he's going to shoot, not sure if he's going to be a playmaker. And yeah, the shooting can obviously get to another level here, but his aggression, his playmaking, how they're comfortable running the offense through him all the time, he is incredible. So his improvement alone is enough for you to get really excited about it. And like, look, they don't even need Dylan Harper certain nights and they give the sell back. They have Fox if they really need to get a bucket. Kelden's been terrific. Sorry to see Sohan go. Just weren't he minutes for him with this team you kind of saw that one coming. So yeah, I think they are Detroit of the fan bases that should be most excited beyond expectations.

[C]

Nuggets third in the east, seven back of the Thunder, three and a half back of the Spurs.

[A]

So without Jokic from that Miami game the end of December to when they got him back on January 30, they went 10 and 7. And what we learned about this team is that Murray reminded us of who the dude was against the Lakers in that playoff series the year the Nuggets won the title, where it's like, hey, the All Star thing is stupid because in the years they didn't make the All Star team, there's like an argument every single year of like, what is a reasonable reason why he didn't make it. I've already done that. Maybe I'll do it again because it always comes up on every broadcast. But I can't believe this guy hasn't made an All Star team. Oh, so it sounds like somebody doesn't have google.com. you know, you can Just look it up and then look at the other guys that made the team. Anyway, the point is, is that that stretch was so special for Murray. I was kind of pumped for him as like a reminder to everybody that watches these games of what he's capable of. And then on top of that, you see the Spencer Jones options where he's. He's defending like some of the best players in the league every single night. The Peyton Watson Player of the Week award. Like, if you had odds on that, like, imagine like this summer going, I wonder if Peyton Watson would ever won NBA Player of the Week. And then he does. So you figured out without Jokic that there's some depth here and without Mike Malone being there, that there's more depth here. And then you bring back the best player in the world. And it's not like he disrupts things in a bad way. He should make everything easier on everybody else. So I don't know that Jokic is necessarily holding all these guys back. It was just there were far more minutes available to everybody. Brown gets back, he's missed a million games. Cam Johnson's missed a lot of games. And Aaron Gordon, if he's not healthy, it changes who they are. Like when you start mapping out second round Western Conference finals and all that stuff. But to get through that Yokich stretch and learn that you have a little bit more talent on top of what you already have, I think you should be really enthused because this team can win a championship this year and there's nothing that has derailed my thought from that when I picked him this summer.

[C]

All right, Houston game back at Denver, fourth in the West.

[A]

This is pretty simple. Yeah, I don't think they can. I don't know how they win four series with this offense. Cause I'm still not sure if they know exactly what they want to be like. There's some nights with Reed where it's great. Some nights men can get cooking. Sometimes you're running through Shingoon, the Durant numbers. Like, there's arguments that these are the best numbers that he's had in like four years because some of the efficiency has gone up. And when you look at like 3 point rate as an older player who doesn't want to bang with guys that much, that's been pretty consistent. The free throw rate may be down a dip. Rebounding rate maybe down a bit. There's also some big lineups where he's playing small forward. So he's not going to be. He's not going to be in the area to get as many rebounds as made. So, like, none of those numbers are alarming at all as he. As he ages here. I just hate their clutch offense and I think it's fair to say, like the younger guys, like, is there somebody on this team of these younger dudes that they grab that has that castle jump in them? And it felt like Amend was going to be that. I don't know that that's the case. I think still think he hurts you a little bit in some spots. Tari's been really good shooting the ball and his activity's terrific. But as much as I love what this team has done with the roster, it'd be nice if. Because it's not going to happen with Jabari. I've given up on that. Tari's, I don't know, a man. We all love him, but there's some limitations there. And then Shingoon, depending on the night. You just love if one of those four guys. And again, I'm already ruling out Jabari in this. If one of those guys was a constant, somebody you could depend on every single night. And I don't know that's necessarily the case. And obviously the Adams double big thing, which was a big part of what they were going to do matchup specific wise with these injuries, this kind of changed. So it seems like they're still searching. Even though it's a team I enjoy watching, I just don't enjoy watching their clutch offense.

[C]

Minnesota 5 in the east game back at Houston team I probably would say we both think has a better chance of winning the west, even if it's improbable than the Rockets do. Would you agree with that?

[A]

Yeah, I do. But there's an alarming number here because I always like to look at, like, records against teams. 500 or better, although there's just been so many guys sitting this year. But usually it starts to tell the truth about who you are as a team. Houston is 15 and 9. Minnesota as of today is 12 and 13. And that's something at the end of the year that I'll always look at to go, well, how come you know, if you're below.500 against the best teams, but you have the same record as this other team who has a winning record against them, does that tell us something? And I think more often than not, it does tell you something. So ant's better though. Like, this could be a playoff matchup thing. All right, let's see what happens. Like, if it is Houston and Minnesota in the first round, I would be Just so tempted to be like, hey, I trust Ant to close the game more than I do anyone else on Houston and that would probably be it. But that record thing against 500 teams, if you said, hey, why would you pick against Houston when they've been better against the better teams than Minnesota has? It's really going to see, you know, it's going to be like a last six weeks thing or maybe the four of the last six weeks where the last two weeks are kind of like a stupid part of the season and how I feel about these teams, but I would say neutral for Minnesota because they've been a real like, hey, are we about to turn the corner here and really put together some great basketball? And then it'll feel like they have like a 10 day stretch where you're like, what the hell's wrong with these guys? There's a lot of parity in the west too. Which could be the simple answer.

[C]

Lakers, we kind of did this last pod with, with Noah Eagle, but six seed, you know, still what, two games back of the three seed. I think, I think we said what we need to say in the last pod, but go ahead.

[A]

Lakers fans are always going to be disappointed. So they're probably disappointed now. The argument that we talked about with Noah Eagle is like, give me LeBron Reeves and Luca and we can out offense, maybe a team in the first round. And that's it. That's all you're really looking at. This team being in the Western Conference finals feels impossible. So if that's what you thought was coming in the beginning of the year, which was probably stupid, then you're disappointed. But you know, they seem to be like in year two of year four, figuring out what they're doing around Luka and then they're also going to make the playoffs as opposed to some of these other teams that that wouldn't because again, Luka's just too special for your team to ever be like outside of the plan.

[C]

If you're Minnesota, Denver, Houston, even the Spurs. Are you afraid of Luca just in a one off playoff series or is that just like a.

[A]

Somebody will say it. Like they'll do some anonymous like front office thing when they do some of those previews and it's always that generic like. And look, I probably said it too. It's like, hey, Luca in one series, like he's so good. What if that guy just goes off but their defense is terrible and their front line is bad.

[C]

Good combo.

[A]

That Minnesota series was horrifying last year. Like it was, it's like, oh, we're never going to get the ball when it's up high. We're too short. I mean, you know, you don't normally have that for a basketball series. You'll be like, hey, how's your guys? They were just so much taller, man.

[C]

Yeah, I was annoyed. I picked the Lakers in that series and that was incredibly wrong.

[A]

Everybody did.

[C]

Yep. Good times. All right, now we're in the play on teams. The Suns, the Surprise Suns. Ishbia just chirping left and right. He was good on the pod. Enjoyed him. Seven seed, they're only a game out from the Lakers here. I think, you know, as Devin Booker stands, we're happy that he's kind of back and at least playing meaningful basketball games again. What do we think?

[A]

Yeah, you're going to be thrilled. I don't know that this is what this team is, but the fact that they hit this reset, want to change the culture. They get Jalen Green back, by the way, too. Mark Williams, culture setter. You know, culture setter. Hey, Houston, Stone was right. He gave him that contract. A lot of learn Chinese buddy stuff after that Memphis Lakers series. He gives him the deal. You're like, what the fuck's going on? And it's like, man, what's that guy's next deal going to be?

[C]

Some people would say the demise of the Grizzlies was it started with Dylan Brooks. You know, start with trading, getting rid of Dale and Brooks.

[A]

People, people said it say, jaw not hitting a three for three years. That could also be it. Not being super available would have a lot to do with that, too. So they were. They felt like they were in an impossible spot. Everybody thinks they're available. Unprotected picks years out are the most valuable assets even floating around the league. And then, hell, one of those even got traded because it's like, well, I don't know what's going to happen. I mean, this is how quickly things can change in a year that they're 32 and 23. And I would love to see Booker in a series where it's like, ooh, the Luca theory. Like, could Booker get lined up with some team in here? But they kill the bad teams. They're 19 and six against teams below.500. You should feel, you should be pumped that any of these games are relevant based on the way the basketball world talked about the Suns.

[C]

All right, eight seed is the Warriors. Are they like the biggest. Just no man's land team in the NBA right now. Like, what. What are we even. Where Are we going? What are we doing? What's the point?

[A]

It does feel a little what's the point? Ish. You know, they just run out these lineups when guys are hurt. Obviously Butler's not going to be back. Steph missed again and you're just like, Pod Spencer, two man game post posting up maybe 3G Santos Energy, all this stuff. I feel like one of the nights when Steph's not playing, I go, this feels like a bunch of bench players on a good team. Not to say that I think the team's like, all these guys are bad, but it's. I just can't. You know, this is usually how it works. Like all the years where Kobe, towards the end, it's like, nobody's going to want more than Kobe and you're like, you want all the. In the world that you want. Doesn't really mean anything. Like, I like, there has to be some other meaningful basketball from Steph before this career's over. He was playing so great again this year. And it's more likely that it's not going to happen because they're stuck.

[C]

Right? Him. Him like leaving if he, if he did want to go anywhere, like, people wouldn't hold that against him, I'd imagine, right? Like, I don't. I certainly don't.

[A]

I don't think anyone cares anymore. Yeah, I don't. I don't think anyone cares about this.

[C]

I guess it depends on what the team is, but. Yeah, like, we're not talking joining okc.

[A]

But that might bump some people out.

[C]

Yeah, that would probably be a bummer. I. I just. I'm with you. Like, it's just. It's just like, man, we're gonna see three more years of staff on a team that's like the nine seed in the West. That hurts my soul. It just does.

[A]

Yeah. So I don't even know that it's an expectation. Their. Their defense last year was so good the second half of the season, and I don't know if they would have beaten Minnesota if Steph doesn't get hurt in the very beginning of that series last year. And it's not like I thought they were going to like beat OKC or anything like that. So I think it's disappointing because of long term stuff, even though that's not really necessarily the exercise. Like, hey, this feels familiar. It's been like a couple years of this sort of middling hanging around. I mean, I know they got Houston in the first round last year, but that Houston team wasn't special by any Means So they just been kind of stuck in this spot because this is actually what is supposed to happen when you have the kind of run that they had.

[C]

Clippers 9 seed, a lot of ups and downs. Kawhi looks great. I guess there's a positive you got Garland for, for getting off of Harden. That's a, that's a positive for you, I think.

[A]

Yeah, you should feel great actually if you're a Clippers fan because.

[C]

Well, minus the, minus the pending. Yeah, yeah, the aspiration stuff that we'll get, you know, Politori on that.

[A]

But other than that, let's penalize them a couple picks. Like, whoa, they already did that. I mean, look, the league can do whatever they want on the pick language. It doesn't have to be the seven year language on the trade rules here that they picked up Garland for. Harlan is Harland. Kevin Harland for James Harden is a terrific acquisition also would be a good trade. Yeah. And. And they kind of killed it like Lawrence Frank and some of these guys on the Jordan Miller, Kobe Sanders minutes where, you know, a team that was pretty desperate to add any kind of young players because they weren't going to be picking very high or they didn't have their picks. I mean, I'm not saying like those guys are going to be signed at massive extensions because they're so nasty. And then they have the Pacers pick that's in play, I think, considering how bad the start was. And then they start looking like the best team in the NBA, which they weren't. But they had a record that told you that over a pretty extended period of time. And then it's like, wait, Harden's asking out basically because he knows he's not going to get his extension here. So let's flip this. Whatever. I mean, you want to go like F1. Hey, plan A, plan B, plan C. They probably got. The Clippers got to like plan F in a matter of days and I'm sure they were preparing for any scenario because that's kind of what you do. But to, to go into Friday and then going the next week be like, this is what we have to do now. I think you should actually be really pumped if you're a Clippers fans because. And the Kawaii part, I mean, he's playing like one of the best players in the league again. Blaze.

[C]

Well, yeah. Blazers 10 seed. Are they, you know, sneaky, not as exciting, but like the Hornets of the west kind of thing where you're like, ah, they're kind of fun. Maybe scoot's a thing again. Denny Obvious been. Been balling out.

[A]

All Star shouts out former Wizard Portland does smart stuff. The. The Denny trade is a home run. I was surprised Krechi was even available. The Drew stuff wasn't smart, I don't think. And Dame's just taking it all in back home. No pressure. I'll get you some buckets when I come back next year. And you know, Sharp is like so much fun when it's. When it's good. But maybe it's. It's muted excitement. Cause you were kind of like, hey, could we get. Could we luck into like a seven or eight seed? So even though it wasn't like anybody was necessarily picking Portland to make real noise in the West, I think the greedy part of you, if you were a Trailblazer fan, is it. Could it have been a little bit better? But there's still some time here because they're probably going to play harder than a lot of teams to close the season.

[C]

All right, now we're into the. Basically the guaranteed lottery teams. Grizzlies probably don't need to say much on this big bummer.

[A]

Yeah. But I don't. I don't know. Do you think it's that much of a bummer?

[C]

I think, you know, you. You lose Bane in the off season, you lose Triple J, which, by the way, he is now having surgery out for the season. So there you go. We've seen the last of him for the Jazz. I think there's part of Grizzlies fans that I could be excited about. Coward.

[A]

I could be sad after that Sacramento win, they were like, dude, we got.

[C]

To shut it down. We're too good. I think that I saw somebody say this, like, they have done this thing where they'll flex their muscles like, hey, we can be this good, but we're not going to go full awesome. And I think maybe shutting down Triple J for the year and, you know, obviously doing the draft pick thing, it makes sense. But they could. They're going to be everyone's darling pick next year, the Jazz. But we're talking about the Grizzlies right now. We'll get to the Jazz a second. If I'm a Grizzlies fan, I'm still sad. Like this. We had this thing. We were like, you know, we were what, three, two seed in the. In the west just a couple years ago? We were the next big thing. We had this super, like, this is the death of the team you're seeing. And while you can be excited for some of the pieces and things that you have for the future. It still sucks to kind of be where you are right now, knowing what you thought you had maybe two, three years ago.

[A]

Yeah, I get it. I mean, it was fun. It's what they loved.

[C]

It felt unique to them, too. Like, that team felt just so uniquely like, oh, this is Memphis. You know, I don't know. And now another rebuild. West is insane. I know you got a million draft picks, but you know, how many of them are going to be actually great draft picks? I don't know. Who knows? The magic might suck. So there you go.

[A]

But, yeah, I'm double checking this right now because I just want to make sure I had this right. They have won one playoff series at Ja. So what do you really miss? Do you miss the dunks? Yeah, it was the potential.

[C]

It was the potential of what it could have been.

[A]

It just felt Trey Young part of it, where he's their guy, and he felt like, was he to Memphis? Well, look, he's still there. I'm talking like he's dead or he's been traded. Basically, this. This group. You're right. Like, it was exciting. It was fun. There was an edge to them. You're like, this team could be really cool and a lot of fun. He's got the shoe deal. And I mean that kind of like, he was on the ascension of, like, being one of these guys. So, yeah, you're right. You're right to do it that way because it's sad because it's over. But if you want to talk about a team that has maximized the transition over whatever the next thing is, it's them. And like I say, on the margins, I think Memphis is up there with any front office in the league. And you got Coward.

[C]

Yep. It's a good pill, Mavs. What do we need to say? They got Cooper Flag. Good for them.

[A]

You've been so depressed for so long that every night with Cooper Flag is probably like an antidepressant and maybe a holistic one. Maybe like one of those Honey Herb things that some guy who doesn't have a license tells you about. So I know the bigger thing is like, hey, this is sort of disappointing because AD Is gone. I can't wait for the Kyrie thing. Like, whatever that's going to be. Do you know how many years he's been in the league?

[C]

15.

[A]

14. You're on fire right now. 14 years.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And he's not a number one. He's never been a number one. I know he had those three games against the warriors in 16 where it looked like, dude, is this the greatest basketball player of all time? He's not. And look, there's a million. We don't need to do like the full Kyrie retrospective here. I have no idea what that's going to be when it's the reinsertion of it all.

[C]

But say, do you think they would like maybe play him just to try to trade him for a piece of. I don't know. Or do you think he's like, hey, we want to see what he looks like with Cooper flag for the next couple years?

[A]

Well, that would be me guessing what Kyrie wants to do, which is a pointless exercise.

[C]

Fool's Aaron Fair. Yep.

[A]

So you have with Cooper something you met. It's kind of like forgetting Sarah Marshall, where it's like you met the local cool chick, even though your existence is banging that gross English guy.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Which I guess Russell Brand is the Lakers here.

[C]

That kind of fits. I feel like. Yeah, you don't strike me as a Russell Brand guy.

[A]

Yeah, no, I never. I don't know that it's personal. Never run into him or anything. Never quite got it in the beginning. I thought he was great in that movie, but there's just a lot of stuff of that movie that's always bothered me. It's like, that guy should have been less bummed out. He's like in an all time run. But I get it. If you're dating somebody who's an actress and she's on all these shows and then she also happens to be vacationing where you are, that's in Maui too, right? Maui's small.

[C]

I believe so. Yeah. And he had Dracula musical, which, you know, ended up having some success afterwards. He's a writer, so things work out.

[A]

There were some parallels there.

[C]

Or maybe just go to Maui. There you go.

[A]

It's like, wait, what is this? I'm gone. Yeah, didn't quite go that way for me.

[C]

Yeah, we're. We're trying to finish in under an hour here. Utah Jazz, as I said, Triple J out for the year. They look good.

[A]

The best part of this Triple J acquisition is that you already just added the best player on a team, you know, so you were like in Keonte's ascension. I know there. There's probably still like a lot of guys playing on this team that are not going to be there in less than 24 months as they sift through who they want to keep and who they don't want to keep. And they just dumped a bunch of those guys. By the way, you know, the Taylor Hendricks thing, maybe it's never going to work out. Clayton is probably somebody they didn't, you know, was like, hey, we got to give us somebody here. Not just the picks in the deal with Memphis. So I don't care what the record is. I am all in on ownership, leadership, coaching of this team. And so what were your expectations if you were a Jazz fan anyway? You know, so this is. But you're going into next year going like, hey, we need to be competing at least, at the very least, for a plan.

[C]

I think Jazz fans might have to be, at least right now, pre lottery, a top five most pumped team in the league. Right? Because there's a chance, like, if they get the number one pick, they're going to be. I mean, they're going to be in every three.

[A]

There's something in place. I mean, you know, I wouldn't expect like the number one pick to come in with Jared Jackson, Lowry. And they might have to move Lowry out. I, you know, I don't know. But I'm sorry I interrupted you.

[C]

I just think you just plug. You plug Peterson or advance. I don't. I guess Boozer. I don't know how that would necessarily work with Triple J, but you never know.

[A]

That might be weird that that core.

[C]

Of like 5, 4, 5, 6 guys is. Do you put that up with anybody in the league? I mean, obviously, maybe not the spurs, maybe not okc, but like just below that level that, like, they're. They are. They're lottery luck away from being like one of the most interesting teams in the league for the next, I don't know, five years over.

[A]

Cling and scoot. Sharp and Denny just.

[C]

Just edging your guys out. Yes.

[A]

Okay, let's keep it going.

[C]

Two more Pelicans. Let's just Pelicans and Kings. Let's just do it. I don't know. Both of them are.

[A]

At least with the Pelicans.

[C]

Well, the Kings at least. Like, you know, you're the worst team in the league if you get the number one pick. There you go. The Pelicans, they don't have the pick. So what are we doing?

[A]

I still rather be the Pelicans. I mean, whatever the Zion value is. Yeah, you've got Trey. You've got hope with fears. You know, I still like Herb Queen. There's nothing on the Sacramento roster like the other than saying, hey, we got the Keegan Ivy thing, right? I guess. But I still am not 100% sure. Yeah, like, I'm still not 100% sure that Ivy's bad. I'd like to see him play a bunch with the Bulls here. So maybe that Bulls thing could go up a little bit more. Pelicans fans should be obviously devastated about that. But you've already done it. It's a bit like the Luke. Like, we've been doing this now for months when you realize, like, how irresponsible that trade was. But there's things Sacramento has nothing I'm excited about except a guy who isn't on the team.

[C]

Yeah, but, man, if that. If. If. If the Pelicans, we talked about how much we like their squad, but it's gone nowhere, right? And if they. They end up losing that pick and it's the number one, you know, if it's. It's one of those guys that turns into a dude, that's like, they're just never good. That's something you never. Like, the team has to move at that point like that. You just don't get over that situ. Like, I don't. I. And whereas, like, the Kings are horrific, Ownership seems terrible. I don't know what's going on in the front office. I don't know how much control they even have. The roster's awful. I give you all that. But at least there's like, hey, if we get Peterson in the building, maybe he could be our Jordan, maybe he could be our guy. You know, whatever. Who knows? Whereas, like, I don't think the Pelicans have a path to that. So I like Derek Queen, but he's just. He's not. I don't think he's going to be that guy.

[A]

So you think Pelicans fans should be more bummed out than Sacramento fans?

[C]

I think so, yeah. Although you could. You could just hit me with the. The Kings will never be good because their ownership situation is bad. I agree with you. But, like, from. From just, like, I don't know that.

[A]

Pelicans ownership has been on a heel.

[C]

I would agree that's also true, because I wouldn't argue with you. The Pelicans have, like, dudes we like, but in this draft, that pick, that, to me is like, that's. That's the only thing you, as a fan are looking forward to, I think, like, you getting free agents to come to. To New Orleans to, like, really change things around.

[D]

That.

[C]

That kind of is your team. Right. I just don't know where. What your. What your path is to. To do anything different than what you're doing right now. Unless Queen takes a step.

[A]

If you want to do the hey, the the pick thing is going to be a whole new bummed out again all over again. Like we've done the trade but we don't know what it means yet. And then events that be that's worse than what Sacramento's gonna be. Sacramento is hanging onto their pick. It's just crazy. In this tank off of like 11 or 12 teams, the Pelicans who should be tanking have no reason to because they don't own the pick. So it's like, hey, is there a sneaky Pelicans over play there the rest of the season? Although kind of got boat race there at the very end. All right, we did it in less than two hours. So 30 teams in 30 minutes. Almost 30 teams in 58 minutes. Please subscribe thanks to Sturdy for setting this thing up.

[B]

That segment was sponsored by Microsoft Microsoft Copilot the AI assistant that actually helps you get stuff done. Copilot works across Microsoft 365 Word, Excel, PowerPoint, Outlook, turning chaos into productivity. Need a presentation? Copilot builds it. Need a summary of a meeting? You definitely zoned out in Copilot's got you. Let Copilot do the heavy lifting. You just take the credit. Learn [e-mail] M365Copilot.

[A]

Get in the game.

[B]

With a college branded Venmo debit card and earn up to 5% cash back on some of your favorite brands with Venmo Stash Rewards. Upgrade your Superfan status and special edition school designs so you can pay for your game day wings and rep your team. At the same time. You can add your Venmo debit card to your mobile wallet as soon as you sign up and pay online and in store right from your phone. And the best part? The card is tied right to your Venmo account. Got paid back for dinner. Immediately access the money in your Venmo balance and spend it on what you want. Game day snacks, tickets, new merch. You can easily split the purchases in the app and there's no monthly fees or minimum balance. Score more with the college branded Venmo debit card and get up to 5% cash back with Venmo Stash. Sign [e-mail] collegecard the Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bancorp Bank NA Select Schools available Venmo Stash Bundle Terms and exclusions apply at Venmo me terms max $100 cash back per month.

[C]

You want details? Bye.

[A]

I drive a Ferrari 355 Cabriolet.

[D]

What's up?

[C]

I have a Ridiculous house in the South Fork. I have every toy you could possibly imagine.

[A]

I'm very best of all kids.

[C]

I am liquid.

[D]

So now you know what's possible. Let me tell you what's required.

[A]

Life advice. The email address lifeadvicerrmail.com hardwired for this one for you. I forgot what it was like.

[D]

Welcome to the tribe.

[A]

I know I'm living in the early 2000s again. It's wild.

[C]

I. I miss. I miss the hard. The, the, you know, the hardwired ones. They're just better. Feel better.

[A]

They're not better. They're not better.

[D]

I don't miss sound quality, Kyle.

[C]

They are for sound quality. We always ask people able to throw them in, right?

[D]

Yeah. Maybe if you're like a weird 5G guy too. You don't know what that bluetooth is doing. Hey, listen, I. I wonder if we'll, you know, we'll be part of a class action one day, but I don't wonder that, so I know that'll suck.

[C]

Where do I sign up?

[A]

I'm probably old enough now though. Like I, you know, I didn't start at.

[D]

You had a good run.

[C]

What, that you made it through? Yeah.

[A]

Accomplished a lot of things. Some things I wish. But, you know, I'm just telling you in life you should never complete your to do list. Think about that.

[C]

Always have a few things on there.

[A]

Like if you were like 48, like, did it all, like, did you. I mean, some people probably look at me like you think your to do list is complete, dickhead. That's funny. How about doing something for somebody else?

[B]

All right.

[A]

That got dark pretty quick. Wasn't expected. So.

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

We got some spray deodorant people checking in, so.

[C]

Oh, that.

[A]

We're upset somebody else sent another thing. It's like a close up. I can't tell. The close up is so intense. It could be his head, a finger, his dick or his armpit. I don't know. So I'm not going to read your email. It's just the close up is absurd. F to the U spray deodorant. Or maybe that's just follow up. Maybe it's not as mean as I thought it was. Hand up. I use spray deodorant. I've had one or two homies over the years laugh at me for that. But I honestly did not know until you guys brought it up that I was in such a minority here. The way I see it, if you're hairy and aren't shaving your pits, then why would you want to use a stick? I was hair at a young age and immediately switched to spray when those little guys started sprouting up because the stick would get gross with hairs. Using a spray is the perfect combatant to that. I've used it ever since the committee speak to where my. My logic is. I think most guys have hair in their armpits, man. And they've been fun.

[C]

Yeah. I was gonna say, I don't think it's a. Doesn't. Doesn't really bog me down. I feel like. And maybe just a habit thing. I do feel like I could tell when I'm not wearing a stick deodorant and I. We talked about this too before. Like I made the switch to the. To the non aluminum one. Didn't like the feel. I like, I like the feel of the stick. And even if it's like gross or whatever, if I may speak in a class action. Lawsuits. Who knows? Maybe we'll be in one for that too.

[D]

Yeah, I'm in line.

[C]

I just like the feel. And I feel clean when I feel the stick under the armpit. You know what I mean? And if I don't have it, I feel gross.

[A]

I don't know, man. I mean, I don't shave my armpits and I don't. When I use the stick, I don't go like, oh my God, you know.

[C]

And maybe a hair falls out every once.

[A]

Gray garden.

[C]

It's not like a problem.

[D]

Yeah, we were anti the spray thing. Totally. It was like this weird, you know, circulation of this apartment and how it's.

[A]

Going was what we were. It sounded like this guy was into some of the exotic target line of. Of sprays.

[C]

Midnight moon.

[A]

Yeah. So I don't, I don't, I don't know what he was working with here, but I would. I mean, you could also go to something else, which is a little gross. But like, so what? There's an armpit here on your deodorant stick. It's your armpit here.

[D]

It's yours.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

It's not. You're not sharing it with your spouse.

[A]

Right. You want to share a bar of soap in a college house. That's an entirely different thing, which I don't even understand. Like some of the stuff I think back, and it's not like I'm the, like, epitome of, you know, I'm not ironing my bed in the morning spraying it. Although those guys are doing those stuff. They clearly don't work. Like, you know, like, what are you gonna do I'm gonna do a whole Patrick Bateman routine, and then I'm gonna.

[D]

Head out to rotc.

[A]

Then what are you gonna do? Go in your other bedroom and look, eat cereal and watch game shows? I don't know where this rant happened. Obviously, I saw video recently that triggered something. Okay, apologize for that, Grandparents.

[C]

Don't be afraid of your own hair, man.

[A]

I'm not reading this one. Sorry.

[D]

But while you're finding one, I just want to say that we are. How many days after super bowl is it? That's how many days I haven't been drinking. And I'm going to really try to do the month this time. Just want to give you guys an update there. It's been great having a week off. Probably not the best time to try to time that out, but maybe it's actually the best thing, so.

[A]

Well, look, we knew it was gonna be a tough run for you with the Pats in the Super Bowl. Like nobody. Yeah.

[D]

So the first to the end of the month. You know, who's. Who says that's a month? I mean, is that what the. Is that what the Chinese think? I mean, it's their new year coming up, so, like, it's all subjective times. A flat circle. It's. 30 days is a month. So that's what we're doing.

[A]

Yeah. Some of those Greek calendars that I've read about. You're fine, Kyle.

[D]

Yeah, I think the. The Jewish people have been keeping track of something else this whole time. Right? I mean, they're like, that's cool. We'll tell you what time it is when you want to know.

[A]

Yeah, let me know about that if there's a link that you have to any of that, because I wasn't aware.

[D]

Of that, what year it is for them.

[C]

I'm just looking for some exotic calendars. I'm trying to change my routine up a little bit.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, that would be great.

[C]

It's like, I'm not late. I'm on the. I'm on Chinese calendar. Right. There's the mix up. Yeah.

[D]

A little respect, please.

[A]

Go back to one of the earlier Ming dynasties. I've actually been sober for a year.

[C]

Nice.

[A]

God, what are you, 30? You moved home, you're excited, you got to see everybody, then you got a work trip. You need be nice to my friend Kyle, all right?

[D]

Yeah, I know I will.

[A]

Pat's made the super bowl after winning. Come on, zero games last year. Like, nobody was expecting you.

[C]

Non alcoholic beer guy.

[A]

What's that?

[C]

Is that, like, a thing? Are you Are either you like a non alcoholic beer guy? Like do you feel like hey I like to taste enough where I need something to get me through even though.

[D]

It'S I never tried it.

[C]

Buddies that do that.

[D]

I never tried it. But I don't know. I don't know. It's wintertime here, you know, what the heck am I supposed to do? So that's, you know. We'll see.

[C]

We'll see.

[D]

I've got a couple more weeks to figure out what my how I'm going to handle this. Might read some books.

[A]

I'm reading Seth Wickersham's quarterback book by the way. Oh, we like Seth. Awesome.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

The, the intro to the whole thing. Heavy. Like gets into his whole thing about being a quarterback and love being a quarterback. So we'll have him on shortly. All right, should I fight my co worker? Let's get back to what we're good at here. 1.78 meters, 95 kilograms, 30 years old. Gym stats recently benched a hundred kilograms. 225 I believe six times. I think a hundred kilograms is 2:20. But whatever, you're right there. Wow. It doesn't matter who knows? I mean maybe the bar was sure was thicker. Player comp. Lance Stevenson. I've been told I look like him and can go over three. You better hope I don't make the four shots because if I do, I'm definitely flexing or playing the air guitar. All right, should I fight my coworker? I got married last August. Before then, this particular co worker, let's call him Ken, was making jokes like run away if you can. I've been married for 17 years. I would have gotten less time for murder. I usually laughed at the jokes but they kept getting repetitive and boring. At a company event that happened like three weeks before my wedding, he joked to my then fiance and in front of his wife, don't get married. There's plenty of fish in the sea. She understandably got upset about the comments when we got home.

[B]

Fast forward.

[A]

I'm happily married now, but the jokes won't stop. One time I replied, sorry, that's how terrible you feel about your own marriage. Ken. Wow. He did it because that's exactly what's going on here. Can when people are going through they they tend to want a buddy. Yeah. Or like bring other people strangers loves company. Like whenever I get for something and it like crosses a line and you guys may not see all the stuff, I'll be like yeah, something's going on with that guy. Like and it's the best way to process anything. Like, for you to go this hard at someone else. You don't know. It's like. Yeah. And I also think, like, there's just, it's not a great sign of success. I don't think successful people do this stuff unless you're so successful that you're just fucking bored and you won't shut up about anything because there's clearly some really, really successful people in our society that just are incapable of not having a thought on something.

[C]

But so you're very much, you very much in the camp of, like, the I like when my friends succeed kind of thing.

[A]

100.

[C]

I want to see everybody do well. Yeah, everybody eats.

[A]

Yeah. But I mean, I also might be like, It might be just easier for me to say because I feel like if it were like a pass fail on professional stuff, I have a pass. Right. Like, I've. So maybe it's a little. But I mean, if it means that because of me being at peace with some of my professional stuff means that I'm rooting for everyone else, then what's the downside in that? You know, at least I got there. I could also see a version of myself that was a complete failure. Where would I be, like 50, just resenting. I mean, totally possible with my makeup. So I, I, I'm not, I'm not.

[C]

I was gonna say. So your, your friend group, though, you think everybody's, like, pulling for everybody?

[A]

No, I don't think that's true.

[D]

No.

[A]

I mean, I have one friend more.

[D]

Somebody's still working outside.

[A]

Yeah, no, I have one friend in particular. He's like, he's like, you know, probably half of the guys are rooting against you. And I was like, yeah, that's fine. Northeast thing, though. So I, I didn't take it personally, but if I were like, if, if I think there's like five guys that are doing better than I am and whatever they're doing, and I'm happy for him every single day. Like, I love it. It makes me feel good about guys that I care about that I like and whatever. So again, we're, this is a bit of a meandering here. But the point is, to the guy listening this and anyone dealing with any of this kind of stuff, it's a pretty powerful feeling when you just go, instead of being pissed at you, I'm just going to realize that your life sucks.

[D]

Did, did we make it to the end of this?

[A]

No.

[D]

Is there more like. No. Oh. So I'd say that's one route you could do. Or you could just talk to him.

[A]

Like you want him to fight you.

[D]

Like, disrespectful. No one else can hear, you know, and that's, you know, just the stuff that would really get under his skin. Like, not.

[C]

You're not.

[D]

You're not making the first move, putting your whole career on the line here. You could just talk to him. Like, I wonder if this is the. I wonder if this would get him. I wonder if this would get him to really try to give me an example.

[A]

Oh, wait, it gets so much worse. We need it. We need to keep reading the email.

[C]

All right, keep going.

[D]

It does.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

So I was about to say.

[A]

So he says again to the audience that's like, hey, can we get back to the email? Sorry, that's how terrible you feel about your own marriage, Ken. Now, my wife and I are trying for a kid, and Ken's comment on the issue was, let me know if you need any help. Help with that.

[D]

So he's already doing the thing. He wants to see if you want to fight him.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I immediately told him that crossed the line. I've been pissed about the comet for a week now. I want to fight him. I've been slightly provoking him, hoping he'd give me the opportunity. Should I let this go or fight him? Thanks for reading this, and congrats on the show. P.S. i miss war. Me too. So does his widow.

[C]

Whoa. What the fuck? Speaking of dark.

[D]

What is that a reference I missed?

[A]

Oh, I just said it. All right. There's no movie.

[C]

He's very much alive.

[A]

Like, which episode of Succession was that?

[D]

My advice stands. I don't want to say the things. They probably be words you're not even supposed to say. But I think almost like you remember that I think you should leave skit where, like, this isn't. This wouldn't work well. But he's like, I'm going to embarrass you, Barry. Gonna fucking embarrass you. Like, there's ways to do that where you're not the dude who the joke is on, which would be Tim Robinson's character. Like, there's. I think I would just try to get under his chin because he's clearly got under yours. Otherwise, how does he keep getting information? You've already been pissed at him. How does he know you're trying for a kid? Unless you're, like, telling a whole group, small team. You might just be, like, forgiving him and getting back into some weird circle where you're, like, saying information that he can then piss you off with, like, it's either a complete wide berth, we're not even locking eyes anymore, or I think you really go in and try to.

[A]

Try to get under his skin.

[D]

Those are the only two things.

[C]

I also would guess that if he's talking about wanting to fight him, that means he thinks he could take him, right?

[A]

Yeah, but I mean, the only.

[D]

He said 58.

[A]

Yeah, right. The only thing we're talking about here is, like, where do you work? What's the corporate structure like? There's just. I can't imagine. And I haven't really had. ESPN was very much a corporate job, but it. It also wasn't. But it was. It was. You happen to be on the air at a corporate job for the people that were.

[D]

Anybody ever punch anybody at ESPN that you know of even, like a story that maybe was or wasn't true?

[A]

Oh, wow.

[D]

Was there one guy that got punched, do you think?

[A]

I mean, I only made it like 40 pages through the book. I was just like, I'm not doing this. So I don't.

[D]

I just met. While you were there, did you?

[C]

Like, I don't know that I personally know of anyone being punched, especially at work, but I. There were, you know, there was some relationship stuff going on that I think would have probably gotten ugly and people would have been butt hurt. And I worked in a restaurant where.

[D]

Several guys got punched.

[B]

Yeah, but that's a restaurant.

[A]

You know, you work at a bar.

[C]

I agree.

[A]

The setting is very important here because all I'm telling you is that I don't know too many friends in the corporate world where, like, punching somebody else is like, hey, well, he was messing with you a lot. Like, you're just.

[C]

Can you fight him off site, though? Just. Just give him a time and a place and see if he shows up, then it's off the bike.

[A]

I say crank up the insults, though. Like, if you're at something when the wives are around and he says something else, hey, there's plenty of fish in the sea. And he'd. You just go like, well, didn't you tell me you had an open relationship anyway, Ken, right in front of his wife.

[D]

I think you should whisper horrible things to him where no one can hear. Like, maybe we break out the C word again. And not in the British, fun, sing songy way that it said.

[C]

Yeah, the American version. That sounds better.

[D]

And just want you to know what I think about you. All right, take it easy, Bob. See you on Monday. I think that'd be pretty.

[C]

Yeah. And then just Screw up his weekend.

[D]

Just a couple weeks of that. Who knows where you're at? You might be all the way in his head.

[A]

Yeah, my sister, one of my sisters, her fiance passed away a few years ago, and. Oh, well, you know, that sucks. But we were out of fuel for one of my friends. So I was back home. I just happened to, like, be back home. And one of my friends from high school had passed, and we obviously went to the wake. And it was tough because he was. He was a younger guy. We went to high school together. And his closest, closest friends were, like, having a hard time with it. And, you know, I was like a secondary friend or whatever. So I was there with my sister. She's just gone through everything she'd gone through, and this fucking guy, like, some of these guys, they just cannot help themselves. He ends up, like, coming up to us and insulting the dead guy, and then says something to my sister about her dead fiance in front of us. And then my sister walks away, and I'm, like, still kind of stuck with him, and I'm, like, seething, seething. And I'm like, what? Like, what are you gonna do here? And then my sister was in the parking lot. She's like, I need to get out of here. Like, right now. Right now. And then I was kind of like, well, you know, part of it crosses your mind. You're like, I might wait in the parking lot, like, right? But then it's like, what are you going to do? Be that guy that got to a fight at a fucking wake for someone else?

[D]

Yeah, those other people that have no idea, they're totally going to understand, right?

[A]

And then you just.

[D]

That guy's mom's totally going to get it.

[A]

So the win for you is knowing every night Ken is going home miserable for the rest of his life. And as long as you get your wife to understand that with you. But I mean, what he said, everything that you've told us that he said, I. I mean, it's kind of like a cool thing that you can say it do at work is like, I can now say whatever I want to you all the time, but I just. I don't know that there's anyone in the corporate world that was listening to this, like, hey, here's the times it works. Physical altercations. Totally, totally. I don't know if you guys can hear that fan cranking up here in the background, but I don't know. I think it's like, 12 degrees out here in New York City, New York. I got real sentimental when I got into this city last night, like, going through the old neighborhood where I used to hang out stuff. I'm like, I miss it. And then I had to run to go pick up earbuds because on a long day of taping, the ones I brought don't work, of course. So I ran not that far away to go get some new ones, and it was so fucking cold. I was like, yeah, I think I miss Manhattan Beach. I think I'm good.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

Some people aren't built. I'm built for this shit, bro.

[A]

I don't know that I fully transitioned to, like, oh, my God, I'm cold all the time now because I've lived in a warmer climate. I still think I have it in me a little bit to be like, I'm fine. I can get through this. It's not that cold.

[D]

Do you run out there in joggers or something or do you have some real jeans on?

[A]

I would say I didn't have the right jacket for it, but.

[C]

And there's a big difference between living in the northeast and, as Kyle likes to say, working outside and just living in the northeast and doing what we do, though. Like, I don't.

[D]

I don't drive past some construction workers, bro.

[A]

I'm like, wow.

[C]

So I can't even talk about the cold because I'm just sitting here, you know, inside looking outside most of the time, and I just, you know, go take the trash out occasionally, you know, pick up the kids. But I'm not outside for, like, lengthy periods of time. There's a big difference between.

[D]

I drive. I've drive past dudes in your hoodie who are like. Are outside doing, like, flagging, and I'm like, that guy's been out there for four hours and he's got, like, your hoodie on.

[A]

Yeah, but that might be one of those Carhartt things that I love.

[D]

It's warmer. Warmer than you think.

[A]

I had this Carhartt hoodie. I don't. I swear I never threw my old framing outfit out because I was so proud of it all the, like, the. That I could sell that from. John Elliott would buy that for me right now. A bib for like, two grand. See some guy walking out of Craig's no shirt underneath it. One attached, one undone. Pencil mark, utility knife marks, real paint.

[C]

That's game one. Resillo edition.

[A]

Is that a John Elliott? No, that's a Ryan Rossillo. 1999.

[B]

This episode is brought to you by Raisin Cane's.

[A]

I'm a huge Cane's guy.

[B]

You know that the crispy chicken fingers, the crinkle cut fries, grilled Texas toast, and of course that Cane sauce. I also go way back with Cane's founder, Todd Graves. Hey, it's in the script. I'm not trying to just brag. He's a huge football fan. And my feed was flooded with pics of Todd and Canes with all the big names as they hosted at the big game. I was actually pretty jealous of that stuff. After Seattle won, QB Sam Darnold even worked a shift at Raising Canes, serving fans and cooking up those delicious chicken fingers to celebrate the big win. Check it out on Social and give them a follow. They've always got a big name dropping in Raising Cane's chicken fingers.

[C]

One love.

[B]

All right, before we move on, a quick word on the tool that keeps people's workflow tighter than my takes. Microsoft 365 copilot the world moves fast. Your workday even faster. Pitching products, drafting reports, analyzing data. Microsoft 365 Copilot is your AI assistant for work built into Word, Excel, PowerPoint and other Microsoft 365 apps you use, helping you quickly write, analyze, create and summarize so you can cut through clutter and clear a path to your best work. Learn [e-mail] M365Copilot all right.

[A]

Males 2365, 210, 225 bench for a few player comp is playoff Joe Harris Love it. So how do you deal with a random roommate? I'll try to keep as short as I can. I go to a Midwest Big ten school and needed an extra semester to graduate. Hey, no shame in that. Just more seasoning. As far as I'm concerned, my class only available in spring so doing it now. I picked up a sublease on Facebook. Not really caring who I lived with. Not really caring who I lived with is an important sentence to remember here.

[D]

The jig is up. That last semester. It's just like it's not going to be the same buddy.

[A]

Just know. Yeah, it was.

[D]

Go hang out at the older bar.

[A]

It was. It was brutal. I'm like, so all of you guys graduated on time?

[B]

All of you?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I'm surprised.

[C]

Did you like this?

[A]

I've known you guys forever.

[D]

There's no way.

[A]

There's no way. I couldn't believe some of the guys. And then there was a lot of guys that like, no, I'm still. They let me walk. I've got a degree. There's no way my parents are letting me stay here Any longer. I was like, oh, so what are you doing? They're like, I have to take three courses this summer in Boston or I have to go do this next fall. But there's a part of this work study thing or whatever. And I'm like, can't we just get an apartment together or something like that? They're like, no, but again, I was paying for all my own shit, so my parents were like, you're just a loser.

[D]

You didn't understand this.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

This arrangement.

[C]

You want to waste your time, go right ahead.

[A]

Yeah, right. They're like, you're. We're not helping.

[C]

You're not home though, right? All right, great. Yeah, do your thing.

[A]

Yeah, all right. So I figured because it was only four months, I'd be back home on the weekends. Not a big deal. I live with two other people. One of them a guy in his late 20s going to grad school and the other is a 30 year old woman that's just local to the area. Whoa. He said, don't read this on the air. He gave me the location.

[C]

Local, all right.

[A]

This is not. There's not a lot of people that are like, I'm gonna move there one day. I did not know this until it was too late, but still wasn't concerned at first. During the day, there's little to no interaction. I only see my roommate a few times, My roommates a few times a week and only talk to them to say hello. Here's my dilemma. The woman is smoking weed non stop when she's home, which makes the entire apartment reek. It's come to the point where she set off the fire alarm a couple times in my five weeks here. Another huge issue. She loves to connect her speaker in a room to blast music. She would do it when she wakes up for work at 6am don't really care about this, but just added context. She would begin singing karaoke at 6pm When I get back from class sometimes. And even worse, she will is that karaoke or is that just high as fuck at home?

[D]

That's just no self awareness.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Even worse, there's no words on this on the TV. That's not karaoke.

[A]

She'll turn it on anywhere from 1 to 3am for 30 or so minutes. About once or twice a week. I don't know what to do. My male roommate has never said anything to me about it, nor have I heard him complain to her. Something seems off about this woman, so I feel she would take me confronting her as a personal attack rather than viewing herself as inconsiderate. I've come to realize there's probably nothing I can do about the weed smell. So I'm just fine leaving my window open. And I've already sealed my door for the noise. However, do I suck this up? Do I bring my guitar from back home to get some midnight practice in? Any advice would be great. Luckily, I've never usually had any obligations before noon, so it's more of a major annoyance than affecting my work school. I think you need to stand up for yourself even if it doesn't work. Because I think that's the most alarming thing about the email. She sucks. She's living with.

[D]

Sounds like she might be awesome though. Honestly, I don't know what kind of last semester he's doing. If I had one more semester, I'd be like, all right, this is gonna be a four credit thing.

[A]

And you know, yeah, but she's 29, 30, he said, right? So that's a little bit different.

[D]

Kind of sick when you're a 23 year old. Honestly, I don't know. She probably doesn't look awesome if he didn't mention it.

[A]

But he never mentioned it. But I think the exercise here is you without any guarantee of results and likely not great results that you're emailing us. You're in this dynamic and it's throwing you off and it's inconsiderate. Not just like one little thing. There's three things here that we're pointing to and that you have to email us instead of just directly going to the source. That's the exercise for you. That's your homework, man, is just go up and say, hey, look, the weed smoke's one thing. The 6am is one thing. The 3am singing is another thing. How about we do this, you pick one, we stop doing, I'll let you do two more. I mean, you don't want to say I'll let. Because then it turns into some sort of power dynamic of like, whatever. And then it could turn into like a. Oh, typical men. And you're just like, what the fuck are you talking about? I think you need to confront a situation that you don't like to learn what you're capable of.

[D]

And the sick part about this, whether you decide to live with it or you decide to try to resolve this, and maybe it works, maybe it doesn't. It is a semester, right?

[A]

That's it. That's cool.

[D]

The sick thing is there's a finish line and it's like the stakes are low where you actually you can put up a shot here if you want to, or you could just wait it out. Either way, it's good. And I agree with you, Ryan. I think you should try something. You know, how to be a reasonable person. Like, just, you know, get your script down. Like, if someone came to you with this, how would you take it? Just, you know, try to put yourself in the stranger's shoes. Is your speech coming off Shoulders. Right, but is your speech coming off well?

[C]

Yeah, So I think you're right. Like, I don't disagree that you need to, like, maybe stand up for yourself in this instance, but if you really just want to go, like, no confrontation thing, can't you just like, hey, landlord, noise complaint. Why not? Then you don't have to deal with it. I think you've done this anonymously. You don't.

[A]

You've done this.

[C]

You don't have to worry about it.

[A]

I don't, like, remember the narcissist.

[D]

Well, it's not that he's done it, but he suggested this before, and I don't like it.

[C]

I don't understand, like, this is what that. I mean, I'm not trying to be a narc, but, like, this is clearly a problem. You don't want to be create problems with a roommate, and if you think it is and you're like, a little sketched out by her, then there you go.

[A]

I would get so much madder about the landlord telling me, though, than the person.

[D]

Especially if he's like, hey, you guys are adults. You got to figure this out.

[A]

It's like, oh, no, what is she doing when no one's there?

[D]

Yeah, townie. Does she have a job in a college apartment? Sort of. Semester setup, Kind of strange.

[C]

Great.

[A]

If you're like, hey, I don't care about the weed. I don't care about the singing. I don't even care about them early thing because I get to sleep in. But how about those hours when you're here by yourself? Could we optimize weirdo time during those hours? And then when. Here's a concept, when we're here, living here, we dial those back a little bit. But look, the person that smokes weed every single day is sort of in their own little funk of like, hey, it's medicinal and I need it for my anxiety. And there's. There's some selfishness that goes on with, like, I've lived with the guys that have just been like, I'm going to smoke weed every fucking day for a bunch of years. And, you know, it just feels different because it's. It doesn't feel like the same person who's drunk every day or has drinks to mellow them out or the person that's on pills. That's always like really hard to kind of figure out because it's like they have it sort of dialed in and then like the one time it's off, you're like, what the hell's going on in my kitchen right now? There's a drought, dude. Yeah. Like, look, I'm just. I've. I've had enough experience with different friends in awful living situations during the years where you're just kind of. And like the weed guy is. Is a very functionable, functional person. But they don't, they don't get as much. And I'm not saying like, hey, because I, you know, again, I think I've seen enough of guys where I was like, this guy seems totally normal all the time. Starts his day with a J and then he's out there on a bobcat, listen to tunes. He's kind of like happy. Like, makes it makes his day go away. He's doing his job. He shows up every day. So like this is there. I. I guess I'm. Again, I'm only speaking my own experience of. I've noticed in the past again as a long time ago when I would have roommates. But there's a selfish pattern of, well, I get to just kind of do this and so you're dealing with.

[D]

Can't wait for the emails.

[A]

Yeah, I can't fucking. Why do you think I'm going to get weed smokers telling us that they're.

[D]

I'm not selfish, bro.

[A]

Yeah. I'm not saying every single person is the exact same. Of course I say it's my. These younger formative years where you're a little lost and in some cases it can be into your 30s where you're a little lost and you're just kind of like, hey, this makes me feel better. Which again is the basis of a lot of things that people do. In some cases in totally safe, fine ways. In other cases of real, you know, it's like that choose your own adventure thing where it's like, ah, I kind of just hung around on the couch there for a bunch of years working on stuff that never went anywhere. Okay. I think we've got it covered. Thanks to Surudi. Kyle didn't like Siri's like, off you guys. That's fine.

[C]

Well, no, because like. Cool. Are you going to stick up for yourself? This person clearly has like no. It doesn't seem like they have many goals or things to do. Like you going in there and being like, stop doing this. What are the. What's the chance of success of that?

[A]

I don't even think it's not. I think it's really low.

[D]

Everyone's going through something, guys. Everyone's going.

[A]

I think it's really low. But I think it's important to the emailer that what I'd like you to do is. I mean, look, it's funny.

[C]

You choose the confrontation side.

[A]

Well, no, did that. You shouldn't really even be emailing us.

[C]

You.

[A]

You get to a point of like, all right, I need to say something. Because you can't go through life never saying anything. I mean, you got to pick your spots and the whole balance, all that stuff. We'll get to that lesson some other day when there's maybe in July. All right. Thanks again to Ceruvi. Thanks to Kyle. Thanks to Kevin. Thanks to Tom. The Ryan Rosillo show on Barstool Sports.

[C]

Sa.