The Sabrina Zohar Show – Episode 176

“Mixed Signals, Friendzones, and Breadcrumbs | In The Trenches”

Release Date: December 9, 2025
Host: Sabrina Zohar

Episode Overview

This episode of The Sabrina Zohar Show zeroes in unflinchingly on the confusing terrain of early-stage dating—particularly “going slow,” friendzones, and modern mixed signals. Sabrina walks listeners through real-life questions submitted by the community, dissecting scenarios full of anxious-avoidant dynamics, unclear intentions, and emotional ambiguity, and providing no-nonsense, compassionate advice about asserting your needs, assessing relationship health, and reclaiming agency over your love life.

The tone is both warm and direct; Sabrina emphasizes self-awareness and emotional regulation, advocating for honest, sometimes tough, conversations while debunking myths about healing, dating strategies, and attachment. Real listener stories anchor each segment—raw, relatable, and unfiltered, demonstrating the real-life complexities of making sense of modern relationships.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Value and Challenge of Going Slow in Early Dating

[03:50 – 08:55]

• Listener Letter (Dylan, Hawaii):
  Dylan, a gay man in his mid-30s, shares that after years of fast, intense (ultimately unsatisfying) relationship patterns, he’s now taking things slow with a new partner for the first time. Despite this healthy pace, he worries he may have ended up in the friendzone due to a lack of physical escalation and his own fear of speaking up.

• Sabrina’s Analysis:

  • Safety vs. Fawning:
    Sabrina explores whether Dylan’s behavior is truly about safety or a fawn response (appeasing and suppressing needs to avoid loss).

    “If it's really safe, then part of safety is feeling safe to express yourself to that partner.” (09:06)

  • Communication is Crucial:
    Encourages Dylan (and listeners) to have the tough conversations early on:

    “Part of a healthy and secure relationship is that you’re having the tough conversations even when scared of the answer. If you simply having a need, if you getting curious, if you saying something sends them running—then good, let me open the door…” (09:56)

  • Practical Advice:
    Have a direct conversation about intentions and attraction:

    “Hey, can I kiss you? I’d really love to. Or, hey, I’m really struggling to get a read on us. Are you interested in this romantically, or are you getting more of a friend vibe?” (11:18)

• Key Takeaway:
  You don’t get healthy, secure relationships by accident—you create them via clear communication, even at the risk of discomfort or loss.

2. Mixed Signals, Attachment Styles, and the Friendzone

[12:14 – 21:58]

• Listener Letter (Sophia):
  After attempting to set a healthy boundary with a texting-heavy date, Sophia is ghosted. Months later, they reconnect “as friends,” but quickly slide into a confusing, flirtatious, quasi-romantic dynamic with cuddling and tension—but not sex.

• Sabrina’s Analysis:

  • Self-Abandonment Alert:
    Challenging Sophia on re-inviting someone back in after they ignored her boundaries and ghosted her:

    “Why are we allowing them back in our life? We cannot be surprised when it doesn’t work out. They showed you their true colors; now we need you to believe them.” (12:42)

  • Attachment Styles:
    Both participants identify as avoidant but appear caught between avoidance and anxious attachment:

    “Avoidant people are also anxious—she’s having a lot of anxiety… but she just goes inwards whereas the anxious person goes outwards.” (22:41)

  • Breadcrumbing Dynamics:
    Sabrina points out the partner enjoys attention and non-threatening connection without risking vulnerability or commitment:

    “There’s no vulnerability, there’s no real depth… The relationship you guys have built, that’s why he keeps coming back—he’s not getting dysregulated, he doesn’t have to commit, he doesn’t owe you anything…” (17:04)

  • Hard Questions:
    Encourages Sophia to get radically honest with herself: Is she holding space for a future with this man because she actually wants one, or because she can’t let go of a fantasy? Is pseudo-friendship a waiting room for romance, or is she genuinely content with the dynamic?

• Key Takeaway:
  Don’t accept breadcrumbs and semi-connections if you want the whole loaf. Set clear boundaries for yourself, honor your wants, and don’t be afraid of the tough conversations that reveal the truth—even if it means closing a door.

3. Long-Distance and Uncertainty in Healthy Relationships

[24:35 – 29:30]

• Listener Letter (Taryn, Perth WA):
  After a conscious three-year dating break, Taryn finds herself in the healthiest relationship she’s ever experienced. The catch? Her partner might move back to Ireland in two years, and she has a son whose needs complicate big moves.

• Sabrina’s Analysis:

  • Living in the Present:
    Suggests not prematurely cutting things off due to future uncertainty but rather, staying open and communicating regularly:

    “We have to leave space for the unknown to take its place. If you guys have a really beautiful connection, then you’ll be honest about it.” (29:10)

  • Detaching from Outcomes:
    Instead of fixating on forever, Sabrina recommends focusing on ‘for now’:

    “There’s a fallacy in dating that this person that you meet has to be in your life forever. But maybe we can reframe and say, for now. For now, I like this person. That doesn’t mean it has to be forever.” (29:49)

• Key Takeaway:
  Healthy, mature relationships can thrive in uncertainty as long as both partners communicate and remain honest about their needs and intentions. Don’t sacrifice present happiness out of fear of the future.

4. Dating App Profile Audit – First Impressions & Depth

[32:39 – 39:15]

• Listener’s Profile:
  A listener asks Sabrina to review her dating profile, noting she struggles to connect on values and humor.

• Sabrina’s Critique:

  • Mixed Messages on Imagery:
    “First photo—you’re a babe and a half, but I can’t really see your face … is that a beer? But your prompt says, instead of grabbing drinks, let’s do something else… which one do you want?” (32:39)
  • Profile Depth:
    The content is too broad (banter, anti-Trump, wants kids) and lacks warmth, personality, and real self-description:

    “All of it is shallow. My wisdom teeth—shallow. The dress is gold and white—shallow. What should we do instead of drinks … But I’m not getting any depth from your profile.” (34:23)

  • Rigidity Warning:
    Marking political, religious, and parenting stances as ‘green flags’ might unintentionally signal a lack of openness. Sabrina suggests reframing these as non-negotiables if they truly matter, but to otherwise avoid rigidity.
  • Actionable Advice:
    Show more of who you are—not just what you want to filter out. Display photos that clearly show your face, give prompts with personality and context, and let prospective matches see the life they could share with you.

• Key Takeaway:
  Authenticity and specificity draw in aligned matches—lead with depth and clarity, not with bullet points meant to filter out everyone who isn’t a clone.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Safety in Relationships:

  “If it’s really safe, then part of safety is feeling safe to express yourself to that partner.”
  — Sabrina, [09:06]

• On Communicating Needs:

  “Healthy and secure doesn’t mean you never feel anything … it’s that you know how to tap into your tools and regulate and come back to a place of choice.”
  — Sabrina, [11:45]

• On Avoidant/Anxious Dynamics:

  “Avoidant people are also anxious. She’s having a lot of anxiety, but she just goes inwards, whereas the anxious person goes outwards. No one is right or wrong, it’s two human experiences.”
  — Sabrina, [22:41]

• On Dating App Rigor:

  “Is my entire personality that I’m against a politician, or is there more to me than that? Show me who you are, and then come tell me the matches you’re getting.”
  — Sabrina, [38:45]

• On Present-Focused Dating:

  “We have to be able to live in the uncertainty and say, for now this feels really good. That doesn’t mean it has to be forever. … When we can reframe and shift that, we release control to the outcome and we surrender.”
  — Sabrina, [29:49]

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Going slow in early dating – Dylan’s story: [03:50 – 11:45]
• Friendzone, mixed signals & boundaries – Sophia’s letter: [12:14 – 21:58]
• Long-distance & uncertainty (Taryn’s story): [24:35 – 29:30]
• Dating app profile audit: [32:39 – 39:15]
• On holding space for other perspectives in dating: [38:20 – 39:15]

The Tone & Language

Sabrina’s language throughout the episode is direct, colloquial, and empathetic. She balances humor and “tough love,” using vivid analogies (e.g., “friendzone myself,” “panic goblin,” “breadcrumbing”), pop-culture references, and personal anecdotes for relatability—always circling back to empowerment, self-honesty, and growth.

Summary

Episode 176 is a candid and actionable guide for anyone navigating ambiguous early dating territory. Listeners are reminded that slow, intentional connection is not passive—it’s built on honest self-inquiry, clear communication, and the courage to ask and answer hard questions. Sabrina’s advice consistently centers on self-respect, owning one’s needs, and not settling for crumbs—or for relationships that never leave the “maybe” zone.

If you crave clarity in chaos, this episode delivers the tools and validation to reclaim your power and rewrite your own dating narrative.