Podcast Summary

The Sage Steele Show, EP 86
"I'm More Afraid of What I Can't See"
Guest: Samantha Ponder
Date: December 17, 2025

Episode Overview

In this candid episode, Sage Steele reunites with her close friend and accomplished broadcaster Samantha Ponder for a deeply personal conversation. The two discuss life transitions, safety and parenting in New York City, the illusion of a “safe” suburb versus urban challenges, lessons from past adversities, evolving career pressures, and the importance of genuine friendship, love, and faith. Sage and Samantha offer a rare, behind-the-scenes look at vulnerability, resilience, and the unseen dangers that truly concern them as women and mothers.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Friendship, Socks, and the Vulnerability of Everyday Life

• Cashmere Sock Confessions: Sage shares her obsession with high-end socks and how this small luxury became a lifeline in cold weather after her years working NFL sidelines.
  • Quote: “My socks are like the majority of my budget” – Sage (02:08)
• Authentic Friendship: They reminisce about previous episodes, their genuine on-air chemistry, and fan feedback.
  • Quote: “We forgot we were on camera. But that's why... the feedback was and still is insane.” – Sage (05:06)

2. Parenting and Urban Survival: Life in New York City

• Car Sickness & Why Walking Rules: Sage and Samantha bond over a mutual aversion to family road trips due to Sage’s severe car sickness.
  • Sage’s family maintains a 40-block walking radius as part of city life.
  • Quote: “If something is within 40 blocks, we'll walk.” – Sage (10:01)
• Rats, Rainstorms, and Reality: Sage recounts a nightmarish rat rescue scene at her home, epitomizing the gritty realities of NYC parenting.
  • Quote: “It was out of just a terrible movie you never want to watch.” – Sage (11:26)
• Safety on NYC Subways: Sage shares her “commandments” for subway safety, teaching her kids street smarts rather than fear (28:49).
  • They discuss balancing independence and vigilance, especially in unpredictable public spaces.

3. Politics, Social Climate & the State of the City

[15:20–26:31]

• NYC Elections: Sage expresses dissatisfaction with recent mayoral choices, describing options as “garbage or hot garbage” (15:30), reflecting urban voters’ cynicism.
  • Quote: “Why are we trying this again?... Socialism never works, and your free whatever isn't actually free.” – Samantha (17:26)
• Weighing Leaving NYC: Sage admits her family considers leaving the city every winter due to harsh conditions, but emphasizes deeper motivations for staying, rooted in purpose, faith, and the unique growth her children experience in the city.
  • Quote: “I don't want to let a temporary politician dictate the adventure of our lives.” – Sage (18:21)
• Mental Health & Urban Safety: The escalating presence of untreated mental illness and escalating violence is cited as Sage’s biggest concern as a parent.
  • “These are aggressive, violent, able bodied men… every single day we encounter in some form of aggression.” – Sage (21:16)
  • Cops privately warn her to “get your kids out”—even as she weighs the nuanced reality versus overgeneralizations.

4. The Myth of Safety: Urban vs. Suburban/Small Town Dangers

• “I'm More Afraid of What I Can't See”: Sage’s central thesis: she’d rather confront visible, overt dangers (like street violence or open drug use) than hidden threats, especially those enabled by technology or authority figures in “safe” environments.
  • Quote: “I’ll take a drug addict that I can see… I'm more comfortable with like physical danger than I am with like… Internet addiction… that is really hard to spot.” – Sage (35:03, 34:40)
  • She shares the shocking story of a respected coach in an idyllic town recently arrested for child exploitation, emphasizing evil can be better hidden in seemingly “safe” places.
• Raising Independent Kids: Both moms contrast “helicopter” parenting with giving kids real-world autonomy, referencing Jonathan Haidt’s ideas about gradually expanding independence (32:37).

5. Real Consequences, Resilience, and Faith

[46:39–65:51]

• Marriage, Divorce, and Second Chances: Sage and Samantha reflect on the growth and gratitude that comes through hardship—career upheaval, divorce, and finding new love.
  • Quote: "You never think... Like you don’t go into a marriage planning to get divorced. And... all those years... I wouldn’t change a thing." – Sage (43:40)
  • On what it means to feel safe in a relationship: “He makes me feel safe enough to say whatever. And that is the thing… our communication is incredible.” – Sage (46:54)
• Faith as an Anchor: Both credit their Christian faith with providing perspective, peace, and the ability to release fear while modeling resilience for their children.
  • Quote: “I think it might be the thing that’s said in the Bible more than anything else–‘do not fear.’” – Sage (31:19)
  • Quote: “Anything good that ever happened to me came out of something hard. And yet we spend our whole lives trying to avoid the hard stuff.” – Samantha (66:23)

6. The Challenge & Joy of Post-ESPN Life

• Career Transitions: Sage and Samantha discuss the new anxieties and freedoms of creating independently, the loss of strict structure, and the responsibility (and stress) of building their own brands.
  • Quote: “I could never ever go back to that kind of structure and control where you truly cannot be yourself…” – Samantha (54:33)
• Impact on Family: Samantha reflects on embracing this new, unpredictable life phase, prioritizing her children’s observation of her resilience and joy.
  • Quote: “What they remember is how you lived… not what you said.” – Sage (70:12)

7. Social Media Detox & Finding What’s Real

• Stepping Away: Sage reveals she’s left social media, feeling liberated from the self-comparison cycle.
  • Quote: "Now that I’m just comparing myself to real people, I’m really grateful for my life." – Sage (74:35)
• Simplifying for Joy: Both discuss finding fulfillment in small daily pleasures, like dancing with their kids or walking in Central Park.
  • Quote: “The good stuff is... dancing with your kids, going on a bike ride… so good.” – Sage (77:13)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Hidden Dangers:
  “I’m more comfortable with physical danger than I am with the private Internet addiction... that is really hard to spot because I don’t know what you do with that.”  – Sage (34:40)

• On Parenting and Independence:
  “My kids know all the rules; we have a whole list of our commandments of riding the train.” – Sage (28:49)

• On Resilience After Cancellation:
  “Anything good that ever happened to me came out of something hard.” – Sage (66:23)

• On Grace and Second Acts:
  “Do you genuinely feel safe? …I didn’t realize I never had in my life, like in any way.” – Sage (46:54)

• On Joy in Simplicity:
  “Pure fun… that’s the stuff I’m gonna miss when they’re out of the house.” – Sage (77:17)

• On Avoiding Comparison Traps:
  “On social media, I was comparing my life to a conglomerate of hundreds, sometimes thousands of people. …That’s like an AI version of life.” – Sage (74:23)

Important Timestamps

• 02:08: Sage’s cashmere sock obsession
• 10:01: Sage explains her walking lifestyle, avoiding cars due to motion sickness
• 11:26: Sage’s NYC rat rescue story
• 15:30 – 18:21: Discussion of NYC’s political landscape and living with tough mayoral choices
• 21:16 – 26:31: The escalating mental health crisis and its impact on urban safety and parenting
• 28:49: Sage’s subway safety rules for her children
• 34:40: “I’m more afraid of what I can’t see”—why suburbia can mask deeper threats
• 43:40: Sage on second marriages and embracing change
• 46:54: The necessity of safety and openness in relationships
• 54:33: The stress and liberation of post-ESPN entrepreneurship
• 66:23: The value of hardship and adversity in producing real growth
• 74:23 – 74:35: Embracing life offline; real-life comparison versus curated social feeds
• 77:13: Sage’s “good stuff” philosophy – joy in simple, daily family moments

Episode Tone

• Warm, Authentic, Vulnerable, and Sincere.
• The conversation flows like a private catch-up between two close friends, marked by humor, candid admissions, thoughtful skepticism, and encouragement. Faith and motherhood are consistent undercurrents.

Takeaway for Listeners

This episode is a masterclass in honest, fearless conversation about parenting, city living, faith, recovery from public adversity, and navigating life’s unpredictable turns. Sage and Samantha remind us that real security is less about the “safest” zip code and more about resilience, faith, open communication, and valuing visible reality over hidden threats. The ultimate message: Find gratitude in adversity, seek genuine connection, and—most of all—hug your loved ones and dance in the kitchen whenever you can.

End of summary.