Jeff Dye Spent Years Hiding His Faith From the Comedy World — Until 2020 Changed Everything

Summary

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The Sage Steele Show

Episode Title: Jeff Dye Spent Years Hiding His Faith From the Comedy World — Until 2020 Changed Everything
Host: Sage Steele
Guest: Jeff Dye, Comedian
Release Date: April 8, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this deeply personal and often humorous conversation, Sage Steele sits down with standup comedian Jeff Dye to discuss his journey of faith, sobriety, and honesty in the often hostile world of standup comedy. Jeff opens up about how he hid his Christian beliefs for years in the comedy circuit, what finally pushed him to speak truthfully about his faith (especially after 2020), and how personal loss and challenges—including his struggle with alcohol—have shaped his outlook and material. The episode also delves into cultural and political pressures in entertainment, the complexities of fame, and the importance of kindness and authenticity.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Faith and Identity in Comedy

• Hiding His Faith

  • Jeff discusses how growing up Christian in Washington and entering the Seattle comedy scene required downplaying his beliefs.

    "Being a Christian is a lot like being a pro wrestling fan, you love it but you don't tell everybody about it. You know it's fake. 'It's real to me, dammit.'" — Jeff Dye [01:15]

• Seattle and ‘Chameleonism’

  • Reflecting on the political and cultural climate in Seattle:

    "When I started comedy, there's no clubs in Kent so I had to drive up north to Seattle and pretend I was a liberal guy. There was a lot of chameleonism being me." — Jeff Dye [19:25]

2. The Turning Point: 2020

• COVID, Social Climate, and Speaking Out

  • 2020 was the catalyst that forced Jeff to stop hiding and start vocalizing his beliefs and struggles, personally and publicly.

    "Covid happened... they took away our jobs, which was my whole life and identity. I was in this giant house with guns and alcohol, thinking, 'I don't think this is a good combo.'" — Jeff Dye [08:10]

• Embracing Honesty

  • Jeff’s turn toward public truth-telling wasn’t a ‘heel turn’ but a ‘truth turn.’

    "My friends call it a heel turn, and I was like, it’s not a heel turn. If anything, it’s a truth turn... I thought that being agreeable was positive but it’s not healthy or productive." — Jeff Dye [35:34]

3. Navigating Politics & Double Standards in Entertainment

• Fox News Stigma and Comedic Community

  • Jeff discusses the hypocrisy of being labeled for appearing on Fox despite many comedians doing the same.

    "Somehow these comedians who troll me for being on Fox, they go on too... but the comedians are like, 'Jeff Dye goes on Fox.' I don’t know why, but they hate me." — Jeff Dye [06:02]

• Double Standards

  • On political messaging in sports and culture:

    "I could tolerate virtue signaling if they also let you do the other side... You can’t only have one side, and that double standard annoys me more than the thing itself." — Jeff Dye [06:58]

• Race and Identity Politics

  • Both host and guest critique the culture of race-based messaging in sports media and society.

    "Race has been the biggest psyop I've ever lived through. They've literally brainwashed young white people into going, 'The worst thing you could be is racist.'" — Jeff Dye [57:54]

4. Addiction, Sobriety & Public Vulnerability

• Road to Sobriety

  • Jeff shares openly about his battle with alcohol:

    "I am two years four months and like thirty days [sober]." — Jeff Dye [59:29] "I was losing a lot of time, which as we age, becomes more sacred. If I’m drinking just to connect but then can’t remember, what’s the point?" — Jeff Dye [59:37]

• A Moment of Reckoning

  • Jeff recounts a blackout incident that deeply embarrassed him and motivated change:

    "Are you serious? We hooked up last night." — Jeff Dye, relaying the woman’s message after he had no memory of their encounter [61:08]

• Sobriety and Relationships

  • On the social aspect:

    "Now I can have a non-alcoholic beer or nothing at all, and I’m out of the woods on that temptation." — Jeff Dye [64:08]

    • Jeff reflects on how quitting hasn’t actually broken any close relationships, proving who his real friends are [65:34].

5. Processing Loss & The Importance of Kindness

• Personal Loss—Sister and Father

  • Jeff’s openness about losing his sister in a car accident and his father more recently.

    "The hardest thing I ever lived through was my oldest sister got into a car collision and died in 2015. That was so sudden... just jarring." — Jeff Dye [78:03]

    • Finding meaning and keeping her memory alive through honoring kindness and valuing time.

• On Kindness as a Core Value

  "The thing I value highest in the world is kindness... If a guy’s really talented but he’s a jerk, I just want them to be kind." — Jeff Dye [84:03]

6. Faith, Upbringing, and Evolving Perspectives

• Rebellion and Attraction to Church

  • Choosing church almost as an act of rebellion after his family was ousted:

    "It almost became rebellious for me to go to church... those were the nicest kids, always feeding me, bringing me around." — Jeff Dye [27:55]

• Faith as Emotional Anchor

  "Most kids channel emo with eyeliner and The Cure, I was journaling and reading the Bible. That’s where I channeled my emo energy and found so much hope." — Jeff Dye [30:28]

• Challenges in Christian Identity

  "I was constantly denying my faith in a way, like publicly. I was embarrassed to admit it. I was afraid I wouldn’t be welcome in the Seattle comedy circles." — Jeff Dye [33:54]

7. Reflections on Fame, Privacy & Goals

• Fame and Public Narrative

  • On media misrepresentation (e.g., his real estate comments turning political in the press):

    "They wrote 'famous comedian Jeff Dye fleeing Los Angeles from Gavin Newsom.' I didn’t say any of that." — Jeff Dye [11:46-12:55]

• Privacy as Future Currency

  "I think the future currency of human beings will be privacy... everything is so public, everybody’s a little documentarian, a little reality star." — Jeff Dye [49:16]

• Career Goals

  "If tomorrow they said comedians make zero dollars, I’d still do my shows tonight. My goal is to get a Netflix special... and make projects that honor God in a cool way." — Jeff Dye [90:09]

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• "I just started having a mental breakdown if I'm being honest... so I did my own version of therapy, comedically. By doing that I discovered that's good, that's what God wants us to do, seek truth." — Jeff Dye [08:10]
• "I think our tolerance for it is lessening... more and more people are like, guys, we did all the DEI, put up our black squares. White people saying, 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.'" — Sage Steele [54:16]
• On kindness:

  "You don't debate people, you debate ideas and that's not the same thing." — Jeff Dye [87:06]

• On forgiveness towards ex-girlfriend who outed his DUI:

  "As much as I hate her for that, also, I do want to say thank you... That going public made me have to deal with the bad things. So sometimes bad things happen and, if you’re strong enough, you can make it a positive." — Jeff Dye [67:12]

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Important Timestamps

• Jeff on hiding faith in comedy: [01:15]
• 2020 as a turning point & mental health: [08:10]
• Seattle, chameleonism, and politics: [19:25], [20:49]
• On LA, politics, and why he’s moving: [13:06]
• Jeff discusses his drinking and sobriety: [59:29]-[67:12]
• Sister’s death and impact: [78:03]-[83:12]
• On kindness as core value: [84:03]
• Career satisfaction and goals: [90:09]

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Tone & Style

The tone of the episode is honest, vulnerable, and characteristically comedic, with Jeff Dye’s humor balancing deeply personal revelations and cultural critique. Sage Steele navigates the conversation with empathy, sharing her own background and challenges, making space for raw emotion as well as laughter.

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Summary

This episode offers a candid look at Jeff Dye’s journey: from hiding his Christianity in the secular, left-leaning world of stand-up, to finding the courage (sparked by the challenges of 2020) to speak openly about faith, sobriety, personal loss, and political divides. The conversation is rich in humor, honesty, and practical wisdom about living authentically in a world that often demands conformity. Both host and guest stress the importance of kindness, resilience, and pursuing truth, making this episode engaging and inspiring for anyone seeking to reconcile personal beliefs and public life.

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Transcript

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[Interviewer]

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[Jeff Dye]

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[Interviewer]

the ideal woman that you someday hope to end up with i

[Jeff Dye]

just want her to be super hot you're amazing just die being a christian is a lot like being a pro wrestling fan you love it but you don't tell everybody about it you know it's fake it's real to me dammit

[Interviewer]

correct me if i'm wrong it was six years ago when the world blew up that i saw you more vocal

[Jeff Dye]

about that was exactly when it happened it was just too many things at once i'm in this giant house with guns and alcohol i don't think that this is a good combo i'm just gonna talk about this as much and as often and as loudly and honestly as i can ryan clark is that his name no worries i pray often that they're doing it strategically for money it is the most egregious race baiting i've ever seen in my life i was so embarrassed and so humb christian cavallari mentioned it on her podcast it was in people magazine it was in all these things it got really like big as much as i hate her for that that going public made me have to deal with the bad all right time to get sober this is a story i've never told the hardest thing i ever lived through was my oldest sister got into a car collision and died in twenty fifteen that was so sudden that it's just jarring i

[Interviewer]

wonder how you balance that with comedy

[Jeff Dye]

or is it therapeutic oh comedy's definitely therapeutic oh you like pilates oh oh you think crystals are magic me too now my d say one dumb thing i'm like i'm out of here this is i'll venmo you what the hell is this

[Interviewer]

honestly i think this has been a year and a half in the making since i first was like ig dm to jeff d yes hi i love what you stand for i love what you're saying my show and same likewise but you your your schedule

[Jeff Dye]

is insane i know well it's like i'm a traveling circus monkey or something it's like just this week i mean arizona saint louis nashville i go to puerto rico you do that's like a week for me like and it's like there's no rhyme or reason in that most people tour like in some route they can take a bus or something i'm ping ponging all over but it's fine i like doing it so you

[Interviewer]

intentionally ping pong no i just intentionally

[Jeff Dye]

say yes to wherever they'll bug me and they're not in cahoots with each other so if you know i just go wherever if someone offers me money to tell them jokes i generally say

[Interviewer]

yes which i get it smart for business but and i love it it's ex that's a lot yeah he came from saint louis a couple of hours ago basically so if he falls asleep during the show forgive him we're not

[Jeff Dye]

going to judge i won't do that i am like annoyingly optimistic about like things like flights anything that people normally would moan about i'm like i've psyoped myself into being like what's the problem like an airplane like think about that everyone complains about flights you're sitting in a chair and you can sleep if you want you can watch tv if you want some girl will bring you like a drink and snacks like what's really that bad about flying it's like if you're an old man you just sit in a chair all day that's what flying is so it's like i always try to go like what am i complaining about i have sure i have to i'm on one hour sleep but i was like i'll just sleep on that airplane when i get there and i usually don't i'll still just watch instagrams of dogs and kids and laugh and so i'm like this is great what am i complaining about and

[Interviewer]

he landed and went to church yeah it was great do you try to do that when you're on the road

[Jeff Dye]

i try to just do things in general my friend and his wife invited me and i was like yes perfect so that was like a nice one i i mean i'm usually traveling back

[Interviewer]

home on sundays so i so immediately i feel like maybe i felt this through i mean we've only met in person one time that was on gutfeld

[Jeff Dye]

yeah but i feel like which was very brief it was quick it was

[Interviewer]

like you i gotta be quick with your takes and i don't have many next time i will talk to you

[Jeff Dye]

before i go on gutfeld gutfeld's tough

[Interviewer]

dude okay i think it's actually really hard for someone who's not a comedian

[Jeff Dye]

especially well i think it's funny i think the opposite i feel like that like because you guys can just have opinions and say like an opinion about the subject where sometimes i'll say my opinion and then greg and everyone's going aren't you the funny guy and i'm just sitting there all fired up like they killed charlie kirkley i'm all pissed off you know and they're going but he was supposed to be the silly clown boy what happened with him that's true sometimes i'll get carried away just to my feelings and then forget that i'm supposed to be telling a joke

[Interviewer]

but i actually think was that an intentional thing a yes to go on gutfeld because once you do that especially on that network on fox news i mean you're kind of pigeonholed and i think you kind of stopped caring about that a while ago but that is a different thing to be on fox

[Jeff Dye]

news consistently only me somehow these comedians who all troll me for being on fox jim norton goes on there true jim florentine ari shafit robert kelly rich voss these are all legendary comedians who just work and they play the seller and they play all these spots the comedy store but then all the like the comedians are like jeff dye goes on fox i'm like so do they so i don't know i don't know what it is something about me they hate me i don't know what's going

[Interviewer]

on that's so interesting yeah but no i think for me it's harder because plus i talk too long i don't talk in good sound bites despite judging people for not doing that my entire career now i go on gutfeld but there's that pressure and but i do think it's it's intentional like once you do do that yeah there are there's a faction of people like who are gonna be like okay i know i'm done i'm out on him fair i

[Jeff Dye]

think yeah i've definitely experienced that and i think it's really unfair it's like i always think like as long as everything's reasonable i can deal with both if that makes sense right so it's like i could tolerate a a very virtue signaling campaign on an nba court if they also let you do other like if if if the nfl players could write christian messages on the back of their helmets right like conservative christian things on the back then i'm also fine with black lives matter right you know like right but i don't think you can only have one side of the things and it seems that that's what it is and that double standard is what annoys me more than the

[Interviewer]

thing yeah well yeah that's literally how my life took a turn you know because of those double standards because i think for the most part most americans are kind of like in the middle i actually yeah i have a lot of friends on this side and a lot of friends are much further right than me sure and i actually don't

[Jeff Dye]

care right it doesn't matter i vote

[Interviewer]

what you do and this divisiveness has gotten to another level i feel like correct me if i'm wrong it was probably five six years ago when the world blew up yeah that i saw you more vocal about one hundred percent

[Jeff Dye]

that was exactly when it happened really well covid happened and just for me personally not socially for anyone else that i could just my own personal experience it was too much at once so it was like and this over a timespan it wasn't like in one day but like they took away our jobs right so i can't go be heard which is my whole life my whole identity is being a stand up comedian and that's a good outlet for me creatively and also to get like things out that i want to say and make people happy that feels rewarding it's also my wallet you know like so now i don't have money coming in i don't have a creative outlet i don't have a place to leave to go to to do my job i don't live with anyone so being stuck in my house without like anything you were not alive yeah then mixed with going through a breakup losing a dog you know they decided that straight white males were the worst thing you could be and even if that seems dramatic me framing it that way where i lived that's how it felt so in los angeles even if it was for a two week period there was a feeling of like being a straight white male was like the worst thing you could be and that that was just that's a reality for what i was going through and this all happened at once and then they're gaslighting us about getting the vaccine and then there it was just too many things at once and i'm like i'm in this giant house with guns and alcohol and i' i don't think that this is a good combo and i was like i just started having like basically a mental breakdown if i'm being honest and then it made me start to go you know like i'm just gonna talk about this as much and as often and as loudly and honestly as i can and that'll help me work through it which is just therapy that's what therapy is is using your words to articulate how you're feeling about something and so i did my own version of that comedically and by doing that i really kind of discovered that that's good that's what god wants us to do is find and seek truth so it was

[Interviewer]

good for me so the silver lining that came from a really bad time

[Jeff Dye]

yeah for sure but just that's the only way i could get through it like because it was just too many

[Interviewer]

things right after years like decades of

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[Interviewer]

code sage so was my brother lives in los angeles as well and i've been telling him for years actually he's just now moving here nice finally got him dragging across the country yeah you're next what are you still doing out

[Jeff Dye]

there i know i want to buy a place in austin last time i said this on a podcast the whole world turned on me i'm buying a second home in austin and it must have been a slow news day at fox because i said it on rogan and i was like yeah my real estate agent cat we're looking for you know a place right now in austin we're doing a house house shopping tomorrow and then for some reason fox news the next day ran this whole thing that was like famous comedian jeff dye fleeing los angeles from gavin newsome right oh my god yeah and also don't say famous comedian because now everyone's like ooh famous comedian i've never heard they're all just trashing me i was like i didn't say i'm a famous comedian they wrote that that that's why they that's that gave the headline some validity like that way that we could say that's why we're printing this but it was crazy but it's also it's going to be a second home i have too many friends and family in los angeles that like where i live is really beautiful i love sherman oaks i've got a nice little place and so do you just ignore so many things change true right now the plan is to keep it and then just buy a second home so you just ignore

[Interviewer]

the the stuff that we hear about because i know it's not everywhere i know they exaggerate all the things but la is la it's run the way it's run the state's run that's the way it's run yeah so you just have to put you just have to

[Jeff Dye]

ignore that part all these stereotypes we hear about los angeles aren't real what do you mean they live in our phone so like like when you hear about the no kings pro that's downtown i didn't see it it's in this weird little area where people are annoying and liberal right and when i say liberal i mean the annoying liberals live there not the normal reasonable cool liberals that i'm friends with so i never even see that anytime i see one of these annoying stereotypes of los angeles it's just in my phone i never see it in my day to day my little shops and all the people i know and the comedy clubs and everything are really great now why i want to leave is because of the gavin newsom fraud i mean he's literally there's just no way it's not fraudulent losing twenty plus billion dollars on homeless situation when the homeless situations only got worse promising says us some tram that's gonna go for that we've never seen anything and that like every year we're paying for this thing that there's no side of you would be see some construction you would see some cement nothing so all that stuff i don't like i don't like that hollywood doesn't even shoot there any that's the whole reason you used to go to hollywood is to become a star and like get in movies and get in tv and now whenever i book a thing i booked a movie we shot in detroit when i booked hollywood squares we shot in ireland so it's they've not there's not even show business there anymore and it's all those kind of things the property tax the state tax all those kind of things the political things are why i'm leaving not the annoying identity politics and the protests she's terrible and

[Interviewer]

you weren't affected by fires we had

[Jeff Dye]

to we it didn't burn my home but we all had to evacuate because the smoke the smoke yeah yeah i

[Interviewer]

mean that that that's the thing because i think it is a it's actually a beautiful area like totally overpopulated yes but it's beautiful and then when you see people continue to elect the same people like that's when you're it's like well then you can't complain i know like you you're the ones that are

[Jeff Dye]

doing this there's so many didn't vote for these yahoos you know like and i think it's worth fighting for the stage yeah which i've said before on a podcast but it's like california is so cool it's got such good like cowboy history the weather's beautiful you got all these like surf also like every hour is like a totally different town like san diego is so different than like bakersfield and bakersfield's so different than santa monica and santa and like the whole state is a really beautiful cool state with like a lot of great history and a lot of like it's on the coast it's got like a lot of cool things about it that i love that i wouldn't want to leave but i'm afraid it's going to get to the point where they're going to have to have either a big wake up call or everyone is going

[Interviewer]

to leave have you ever met gavin

[Jeff Dye]

newsom i have not but i campaigned real hard because i don't i only line up be on podcasts with people i like i'm not doing anything for my career necessarily not that i don't care about my career but it's just like it's always a clunky conversation if you don't really know or like or respect the person and gavin newsom i sent an email from my team like every when he had a podcast which lasted what like three weeks right we had my team just hitting it hard like jeff dye wants to come on it's because i think gavin newsom seems like a nice guy i just think he's got the intellect of like a thirteen year old i think but the good thing about people with the intellect of a thirteen year old is you can sway them you know you can make some good arguments and they go like that fetterman guy that guy was a bozo like seven years ago it's so true and now it's like someone red pilled him or someone like whatever and he's like he's saying things that make sense you know the right people got in his ears and i think i have hope for gavin newsom that way like i think that he could be swayed maybe unless he's just a true you know snake i think he's

[Interviewer]

a snake really i mean sadly have i met him no do i have any desire to no i just think he's shown his true colors the fact that he is so wishy washy yeah

[Jeff Dye]

when you're a leader very political though

[Interviewer]

that's very politics it is and there's a lot on the line when you have that position in that state right so that i think the trust is gone and he's just too slick the

[Jeff Dye]

hair the he does have a very unlikable like if you were going to make like a pixar movie about the devil like that's how he would look you know he would be very you know shaking hands and oh yeah good like he's very gavin he looks very

[Interviewer]

presidential as they say though and that's why they're like well at least he's presidential i'm like now i can't have this conversation with you now we're not friends and i'm kind of kidding when

[Jeff Dye]

he gets back to his house he just takes off his mask he's just like his lizard guy you know just yes horns such an obvious outfit he's just gavin newsome just looks so obvious

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[Interviewer]

way you're from seattle no i'm from kent washington isn't everything in washington just

[Jeff Dye]

seattle well that's what we say well that's we're guilty of that you know

[Interviewer]

i've never been there it's not israel

[Jeff Dye]

and jews are always conflated as the same thing that's how washington and seattle is okay but it's partially our fault just like it's partially the jews fault for conflating the two when it benefits you and not conflating the two when it doesn't that's what we also do so i'm from kent it is a very very blue collar we're in the woods but we're not even we don't even have any of the positives of the woods you know usually kids that grow up in the woods they can hunt and they can fish we got none of that that right they can make an engine from scratch or so we got none of that we were just kind of like these latchkey kids who lived in the woods you know we we don't even know how to camp but we were just kind of like this blue collar kind of regular family in in kent washington but when i started comedy there's no comedy clubs in kent so i've got to drive up north one hour to like live in seattle and pretend i'm a liberal guy you know like there was a lot of like chameleon is chameleon ism being me in the seattle comedy scene so that's why i always say seattle you know my first kiss my first girlfriend my first beer all that stuff happens in the city in seattle so that's where you go to like when you know when you graduate high school because you're not going to stay in kent or any of the other cities

[Interviewer]

so you had to kind of keep your opinion you were young certainly but like was it uncomfortable for you there at that time because of how seattle

[Jeff Dye]

was is it was and is it's much more militant and angry now but it's always been as annoyingly political the difference was i didn't have strong political opinions back there back then so it wasn't as contentious but i was a christian i i come from like a church you know like my not my family but me i chose the church and then i became a young life leader and then when i decided i want to do comedy i went up to seattle and that's where all the butting heads was like he's a christian like it was seemed like such a terrible thing for them for me to be to them which was so i noticed that a lot that is i think they just get brainwashed and taught that i think it's learned right because why are they so positive about any other religion that's not domestic you know like so if you say like jewish or muslim or anything else they go wow that's that's really interesting that's beautiful yeah yeah because they their whole goal is to not look racist or not look anti semitic whatever and i think that you know being a christian is like the one that they probably their parents were and so that annoys them it seems like their parents thing it's

[Interviewer]

it's so sad but that's the way i envision seattle and i think are we dave are we going there for for a speech or something later this

[Jeff Dye]

year nice i'm so excited i hate

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[Jeff Dye]

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[Interviewer]

yeah are there little pockets beside i don't want to go do the normal touristy things so you're saying just get in and out well i think what

[Jeff Dye]

happened is and i want to be clear here because i shouldn't do too much trashing of where i'm from or where i started comed but the idea is that like seattle what made seattle positive in my opinion was that was very like pro arts right progressive you know there was gay people that were like just like anyone else you know it's just part of the community there was all different walks of life a lot of diversity a lot of different religions i see all that as positive those are all positive things now you see those things those exact things i just described but they're angry and politicized so now it's not a hippie it's a hipster and now it's not like just some gay people who live in your neighborhood now it's like this is a community and if you're with us or against it's very everything somehow got angry and and maybe i was just naive to it maybe it was always a little angry or something but i i felt like it was very welcoming and and and nice and now it is very pissed off yeah and that's a terrible thing to be around you could feel that when you go into

[Interviewer]

those spaces spaces okay can't wait yeah this would be great yeah but it

[Jeff Dye]

needs people like you that's that's the answer you know be the light it's

[Interviewer]

just i i have this unfair stereotype of every it's just like los angeles like it's not fair to do that it's just like saying hey conservative doesn't mean right wing nut job right so like i need to not do that but i'm like okay let's count the number of people with blue hair when we land oh yeah yeah like it's it's a thing it is a thing and good coffee shops though great coffee

[Jeff Dye]

right yeah non starbucks finest coffee in the world yeah starbucks is out because i think starbucks is fine when you're in you know cabo at the airport and there's no other you know that's fine you gotta you need coffee but like when you're in seattle like every two hundred feet is some of the finest espresso you'll ever have that's my life yeah okay us christians we need

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[Interviewer]

the you know i guess i didn't realize you grew up christian yeah like

[Jeff Dye]

well my parents were agnostic they had this huge flare up my mom would hate it if i shared this story but my mom was like super homophobic and which not anymore which is another thing i talk about in miami oh yeah it's well because i'm always saying like we can evolve we can change like don't hate racist people love on racist people and show them that being racist is dumb you don't change things by just hating people like we should reform people from their flaws by loving on them and being an example and so like my mom you know she's forgot her whole life you know like she used to be a super homophobe i got like a hair on me and i can't see a thing like a little whisker or something happen so anyways my mom was like a super homophobe and now she works at costco and all the people she works with are like these great gay guys and they're like super cool and now she somehow forgot her whole life you know she'll be at like christmas like i've always said love is love we're like what are you doing but anyways i was trying to think what i was even talking about agnostic faith wise oh yeah so when we were young we didn't care about church we were like kids but my mom had this big blowout about like a lesbian youth pastor that was there and so we got kicked out of the church and that that us kids didn't care because we're like cool we can sleep in on sundays yeah but for my mom and dad it was very hard on them like it was very much there's a great story in the bible where mary loses jesus in the church and then she eventually finds him and he's with the pharisees or not the pharisees but he's teaching the the men in the church church and that story is so amazing to me because it's like my mom lost jesus in the church like when she got kicked out of the church like even to this day she's like i don't do church and these christians are all hypocrites and blah blah and like she she really like tied her faith to the church and not god so when the church did that she just completely lost it but so whenever i said i wanted to go to church my mom would be like you don't want to go today that's you know so like that almost became rebellious for me to wow to go

[Interviewer]

to chur the opposite and what everybody

[Jeff Dye]

goes through yeah and and it was also the church kids were always doing stuff you know we were poor and didn't have anything to do but the church kids like want to go to the we're having a lock in at the junior high and i'm like really i'll go to that you know and they like want to go snowboarding i'm like i can't afford that they're like the church will pay for it i'm like perfect but they're always feeding me and always like bringing me around and like i've always been the kid that just wants like some friendship or some some buddies to roll around with and those were the nicest kids kids so that was like just a natural fit also they always had answers i'm like why are we on earth and so my kids are like who cares let's get stoned you know but like the church kids would be like it's because and i'm like i like that they have an answer so it's perfect wow yeah so that's why i got so

[Interviewer]

so into it and how old how old were you when this that was

[Jeff Dye]

probably like ninth grade okay gosh a

[Interviewer]

rebellious time in kids lives but also

[Jeff Dye]

that other stuff sounded scary you know drugs and alcohol sounded terrifying and there was no girls trying to hang out with me i was a real late bloomer so i always get credit for like being a virgin until i was eighteen like like from my friends and stuff but like it's not like i was fighting off you know chicks give me a break you know you are

[Interviewer]

telling them to hold on i would

[Jeff Dye]

probably tried you know if i could have but there was not a lot of options so yeah late bloomer jeff

[Interviewer]

dyer super late bloomer yeah well i think that i didn't know that that's not about the late bloomer part i'm talking about the church part let me clarify goodness no i admire that because i feel like especially then at eighteen if you're going off to college the last thing most kids not all are thinking about is church and god and it's like okay i'm free i can go to a party eight days a week i can go to class sometimes your focus is over here and when you're at that age you became a a a youth leader yeah becoming a

[Jeff Dye]

young life leader which is like young life is like it's like church light yeah it's like a springing board for sure sometimes you bring a friend to church and everyone's raising their hand and talking about the blood of christ and they're like what is this but like if you bring them to young life it's like it's fun and games and then we talk about jesus take it if you want it don't if you don't you know anybody can tolerate five minutes of of a nice message and if you want to hear more about it we're here otherwise let's go paddle boarding or whatever you want to do too but i i really liked that approach i think that's a respectful way to teach anybody anything and then it was also really really fun i liked

[Interviewer]

it how has your faith evolved since

[Jeff Dye]

then oh i was gonna say this too a second ago i forgot you were saying most kids are like thinking about partying or they're thinking about you know school work or whatever i think that mine was just like perfectly timed emo like being you know like when most kids are like emo and like putting on their sister's eyeliner and getting into the cure like like i was feeling left out by you know classmates or like i just dealt with all my emo stuff as like oh jesus i can talk to him you know or like i gotta there's there's someone looking out for me or this this will work out or like i saw so much hope in that that that like that's that's where i kind of channeled my emo energy so i remember like waking up and like like doing like you know journaling and like reading through the bible and stuff and i just found like so much good stuff in there for like that that's amazing of my life yeah yeah that is amazing just well channeled emo okay see

[Interviewer]

that's the way to make a joke out of it but it's it's i mean that altered your life yeah it

[Jeff Dye]

was great i think some people like they'll do it with a relationship you know if they're sixteen they'll be like find their first boyfriend or girlfriend or or they'll smoke pot to find friends or they they'll hate a group because that group group will accept them for hating a different group so yeah i was just like it was a really nice way to kind of channel all that teenage angst and hormones and emotions

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[Interviewer]

then you're in your twenties yep how does what does that faith journey look like especially early on in your career

[Jeff Dye]

well super early being the young life leader it helped a lot i mean i was really on my game about spending every day praying every day talking to god and you know not lusting after women and like i was really kind of like on my game and then when i first got into comedy it's a whole different world you know like thrown to the wolves and demons that are like i was easily the most pure thing that ever came to stand up i was terrible but i i wanted in this world that couldn't have been more toxic and opposite i didn't i wasn't bad or anything but i was constantly like denying my faith in a way like publicly you know people be like aren't you a christian i'm like ah well you know like i was embarrassed to admit it i have a joke in my act where i go being a christian is a lot like being a pro wrestling fan you know like you love it but you don't tell everybody about it you know everyone's like you know it's fake right like it's real to me damn it but that was so true for that time especially is like i was always so afraid i'm like well if they find out that i'm a young life leader and that like this is what i think like i'm not going to be welcome in the seattle comedy circles which is what i want to be in so i mostly that's where i struggled the most was just ignoring what i really cared about and what i really loved while in private still being very much leaning on that more and more and more so i just became more private and kind of intimate

[Interviewer]

was there a time where you're like obviously there was you talk about it now but like screw it this is who i am am and no ma i don't care how this is going to potentially affect my career yeah and

[Jeff Dye]

that was around twenty twenty like and it's funny because my friends some of my friends call it like a heel turn and i was like it's not a heel turn i think if anything it's a it's a truth turn you know like i'm not a bad guy now for being honest i'm just i'm just saying what i find to be true and that if somebody corrects me or if i find new information then i'm willing to go i was wrong about that but so far pretty pretty honest works all the time and i think that i'm a little bit guilty of what i of what the society has kind of become because i used to be like oh who cares like just make sure everyone's happy and just be nice to everyone i was never i don't know how to explain it like i would never correct someone i would never go oh here's what i think yeah i would never push back i would never share an unpopular opinion i'd be like let's just cry get along you know be go along guy like that's and i was like it's everyone's feelings because i don't want to hurt her feelings if i say a thing or i'll pander a little bit and i thought that that was more positive but it's not and it's not healthy and it's not productive and it's you know i just i think it's a wrong way to behave i i

[Interviewer]

think i've been guilty of that a lot in many areas not just politically but more importantly with faith because i'm like it's private it's private it doesn't matter right like you do you and i'll do me and i'm gonna do this and i'm catholic so then we don't talk about anything out loud really it's sundays and you do what you do and then you go and there isn't much focus on actual scripture and reading like going deep into the bible

[Jeff Dye]

so i actually they do that for you what's that at the church the catholics do that for you they'll tell

[Interviewer]

you what it says exactly and then see you next sunday yeah right and i found that it's actually a little bit embarrassing now because i don't have that depth of knowledge that i should like i know what i believe and i know why but i like i could never debate anybody interesting no no i i know i don't have the confidence to maybe i think i could probably do okay but because i don't have like scripture memorized from all those years and it wasn't anything evangelical like so many of these people grow up

[Jeff Dye]

in now well it's i wouldn't say that it's should be a goal that you'd want to debate anyone with it but like you know often i think of like a bible verse where i'm like oh yeah this is so because it's all like a beautiful poem you know it's like these i think about it all the time like oh this story reminds me of this and like i see it all the time yeah yeah like a prophet without honor like i just was in seattle recently and i was like oh yeah they all hate me here you know cuz they just know me as the kid they went to high school with or they're all holding on to some old jeff that doesn't even exist anymore and that's just so true like jesus literally dying for them and they go and that carpenter from nazareth like we know that that creep you know like like it's it's just i feel like that's the best part of like digging into the bible is like you just find so many things where you're like this is

[Interviewer]

exactly like that yes if you take the time do you know who's inspiring me the most right now in this my daughter really she's twenty three almost twenty four and she is all in on catholicism but honestly ten times deeper than what we hear at sunday mass she called me the other day she's like can i have our priest back in connecticut father white she's like can i have a cell phone number i just have some questions i just want to talk to him and this is also the girl with twelve tattoos and loves going out here in nashville wait

[Jeff Dye]

what are the tattoos of that's the

[Interviewer]

real question nothing incriminating like anime crap and i'm like what are you putting on your body and i'm like okay fine fine fine they're good tattoos yeah

[Jeff Dye]

this body's temporary anyways it's fine i'm

[Interviewer]

like i'm gonna pick my battles here but she goes deep on it and the conversations that we're having now with her as a twenty three almost twenty four year old have inspired me love that yeah but but it's been like almost an admission of that i didn't take the time yeah to go to another level because this is all i knew right and this is what and i'm i'm a good catholic and it's

[Jeff Dye]

fine you shouldn't feel too much guilt about that it's all like a cap of guilt that's what it is yeah it's also it's like like that's the my buddy jeff z has a great line in his act where he goes that's the best part about christianity you know our book club only has one book pretty good deal you know like just one book you know and that's a that's the it's it's never over there's it's the book you just can keep going back to it also i never read any of the old testament it's really just like six or seven actually i read job or whatever but like most of it's just those red words that jesus says are they're so perfectly true for everything and you're just like man it's right there it's so true forgive let it go like love love love the people be honest stick up for what's right like it's really good anyways it's good stuff we have

[Interviewer]

we do have a scripture reading book right it's like a daily thing that we do my dad gave me a few years ago and then we've started doing it and then we you know if we're around any of the kids in the car you know most of them are okay with it one i won't name which one of the five has a little bit of an eye roll action going but we're gonna leave that alone it's fine we'll get him or her there see i have to have to be really we'll get they there wait how old i can't tell the age because it'll give away one of the five i have three he has two and we just got married like six months ago so it's this

[Jeff Dye]

big but they're not real young no okay no because oh yeah well they are always eye rolling aren't they they oh like yeah you could put something anything on netflix in your list and they're gonna eye roll so it's it's

[Interviewer]

constant and if i say the sex of them or the age then it will give everything away but they know they don't watch my shows anyway they literally don't watch anything i do really which is good unless something goes do

[Jeff Dye]

you think that like because your mom you're not as cool to them as

[Interviewer]

i keep telling them how cool i am and they don't they don't believe me for some reason reason yeah just because they grew up with it and they're like whatever that's what she does she's always on tv and yeah and i i say stuff that like is uncomfortable for them at times and then they'll receive crap online people come after them right which that's what makes me

[Jeff Dye]

crazy i wonder if that will push them the other way because you know how like you we were saying like my parents didn't push church on me which is which in some way might have manifested into attracting me to it it or i was more open to it because i wasn't pushed into it and most of the time the story you hear is that oh that's my parents thing and it pushes them that way but i'm wondering if since nowadays politics seems to be the way people act like religious zealots you know i wonder if maybe what you say on these podcasts is going to make them to try to attract their friends go like oh no that's my mom but i i'm actually like will they try to pander that way to get social

[Interviewer]

that's happened at times and not even for social status just to kind of protect themselves and i understand that and especially when i was at the end of espn and then since then where it went a direction that i never thought because i was like i would never touch politics i would never talk

[Jeff Dye]

about any of this stuff yeah that's how i used to talk to you

[Interviewer]

ever ever like why you know keep your job basically and then it takes

[Jeff Dye]

but you could have never foreseen that the entire world would become political exactly you're not guilty of becoming political you're guilty of being honest with the world becoming political around you you with basic

[Interviewer]

issues yes like the difference between men and women yeah pretty simple being political right and then if we don't talk about these things and we have a

[Jeff Dye]

platform for weather's political everything's political it's true and you know what most people feel guilt about is they feel guilt when they hit their pillow on at night and they go man i'm keeping all these thoughts inside that's what they're really they're feeling guilt about that and they're going but i'm maintaining my marriage i'm maintaining my workplace and that might be the most responsible thing to do is kind of keep these ideas to myself but they feel guilt about that whereas we go to sleep at night and we feel guilt like maybe i'm being a little too vocal about this stuff maybe i shouldn't have said that one thing on my podcast but the truth is we're just being honest in a hyper political world because like it never used to be like this you never used to like politics was for like dorks when i was growing up

[Interviewer]

one hundred percent i never cared about

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[Interviewer]

you ever though like when you're whether it's you know one of your shows or podcast stuff or fox news or any show that you're on do you ever get down and go okay i totally crossed the line i shouldn't have

[Jeff Dye]

said that i think i often misrepresent myself myself for a laugh but i've very rarely misrepresented myself when it comes to ideas i think i'm pretty generous like i can't tell you how many times people just won't hear me when i say like i love trans people i love all people me commenting on the trans issue for a lack of better terms doesn't mean i want anyone to harm themselves or no one's hearing that they think if you have a comment about their the whole subject which is a real big subject with many issues when it comes to sports or bathrooms or or gametes or you know gender puberty blockers or top bottom so there's so many issues just in the trans thing and if you comment on any of them that's not remotely positive or in encouraging then you're transphobic you know it's similar like you comment on israel israel you're you're anti semitic you comment on race right like blm you can't criticize a thing about billy at blm or you're racist yep and so it's so easy to just blanket those things and what gets lost in the message is we're all talking about it because we care i care about all those people i don't i don't wish any harm on liberals or i don't wish any harm on anyone i'm actually pretty you know pretty forgiving even of criminals and even of like really terrible people because i believe in humans i believe in i believe in what we got going on here but that's all lost the second that you start to make a comment about a subject they go look at the and they put the label on you of whatever those

[Interviewer]

names are the and it's the clickbait yeah and that's the name of it right it's the name of the game and at times it probably this is what i've had to learn and yours is on a higher bigger level like what is it bad press is good press like all yeah yeah that might

[Jeff Dye]

be true for clicks it might be true for i i've wrestled with that yeah yeah because i don't know if it is do you think that i mean what do you think you've had bad press

[Interviewer]

i've had a lot of bad press yeah and it probably hurt

[Jeff Dye]

your feelings and it probably affected your

[Interviewer]

pockets and it all of it yeah

[Jeff Dye]

up but i don't know if it is ask bill cosby do you think he thinks all press is good press

[Interviewer]

we are not on the same level

[Jeff Dye]

i know but like the ideas of of like it's i i always hate i love a saying and i hate a cliche cliches drive me crazy well

[Interviewer]

and you and you just can't i

[Jeff Dye]

think that might be a cliche more

[Interviewer]

than a saying you're right but it's funny a couple weeks ago i was there was this rumor out there that i was going to cbs news that they were trying to contact me to replace gayle king on cbs news and it kept going and it was a couple of days and like articles articles and i started to get phone calls and texts and i was like what are you talking about no one has contacted me like nobody and i'm kind of easy to reach at this point no nobody and i was and i was like i was annoyed because it's you go well is it real and then you go oh would i consider that and then you realize okay it's not real and i wouldn't go anyway cause i'm not moving to new york never ever ever mark my words they say never say never no never never i hated that but then you're like wait are they just using me to and that ended up being kind of the story like i think using me to make sure they get their way over here and send your names out

[Jeff Dye]

there make gayle king's number come down too if she you're welcome yeah maybe

[Interviewer]

we'll have and who knows maybe it's not but the point is it's like well your name's out there and then then does it look bad that you didn't get it even though you didn't want it and were never asked right but your name is out there and and at least then maybe people go well who is this person who is this jeff dye guy yeah right and oh wow he's kind of brilliant he's kind of funny and then they'll go to your page and maybe they're nice so no but i mean i think that that is how simply sometimes things can happen is they hear your name about something that that maybe is even misrepresented yeah but they come find out more about who you are anyway i

[Jeff Dye]

think the future currency of human beings will be privacy i i think that we are in such a strange time where just everyone is on everything and i'm not trying to sound like an old man like everyone's on their phones but i'm just saying everything's so public like take the whole gay community for example their entire identity is reduced to who they have sex with yeah how embarrassing your entire identity is reduced to your basic primal sexual instincts like that that's that's the last thing i want to be known for is who i hump like like it's it's so it's so like it's such a it's such a monkey like like thing and that's what you're known for oh you go to gay kickball games and everyone knows you're gay and you talk in the gay voice and you wear the gay things and you have a gay flat it's like it's so embarrassing it's like like don't you have hobbies well but don't you have hobbies don't you have i know like interests don't you have friends and f like like to i think if if this is what the world has come to where everybody is sharing what they eat for breakfast and who they talk to and and where they go and they're everybody's a little documentarian a little reality star i think in the future like we're gonna find a tremendous amount of peace of just being like oh for sure i don't want to it's okay i'm all right like you don't nobody needs to know

[Interviewer]

what i'm up to that's that's the one thing with i that my many many gay friends feel they're angry that like like all of the lgbtqia they're like we're different we're not all of these things they've completely hijacked it and the flag annoys them and certainly the trans issue most the gay friends i have are mad at what's happened in the trans community because it gives kind of more close minded people reason to say all of you people you know it's actually yeah very unfair i've noticed

[Jeff Dye]

it with race for sure like espn like jamel hill and cam newton all these ryan clark is that his name worst it's i i pray i pray often that that that they're doing it strategically for money or they're doing it strategically for their show and that that's not their true thoughts it's their true thoughts because it is the most egregious race baiting i've ever seen in my life like just watching it like you like it's hard for me to like get through a segment like it's it's it's it's wild what's going on over

[Interviewer]

there like and first of all it's real it's genuine it's not fair interesting i mean it can be in addition hey if i say what i believe in here then i will get more clicks by saying it or i mean that part is probably strategic i believe and it's the don lemons of the world and the joy reads it's all these people and even when you look on the view and sunny and all these people who want to make it about race there's too much money out there that they're not willing to leave on the table if they don't continue to bang the drum about everything and everyone being racist that's what i wonder

[Jeff Dye]

it is money but i do believe

[Interviewer]

sadly sadly they mean it and that is what makes me sad at espn i mean i've been saying it for years i was there for almost seventeen years like people don't come there to hear us talk about anything related to us actually unless you're taking us back in the huddle you know ryan clark when you were with the pittsburgh steelers when you were a good player and you could take us in there because we've never been there there that's why actually we want to watch you because you have an experience that none of us will ever be able to comprehend sure they don't come to espn to watch anything political which slash racial all all of those things because if we wanted that where would we go we have a lot of options one hundred percent right yeah and for whatever reason the bosses there have allowed it it and but it's only one sided though of course yeah and i think that's

[Jeff Dye]

the hard work in sports was the one place where i didn't see any racism that was like the place that was free of it you know like like when they like when colin kaepernick started to try to claim that like the nfl was racist i go listen i'll give you that maybe everything in the world is racist except the nfl that's like i can't think of a less racist place place that operates i know every guy i watch every poster on my wall of football players is black guys what are you talking about and they go yeah but there's not enough coaches now the coaches are black and they go yeah but not enough owners you go what when is it what do you does it need to be all black before you're convinced that it's not racist and then you're going to compare the numbers of people getting paid and the you know the so it's just like i think it just never ends which makes me think it's not real which makes me think they're not really believing it but you're saying

[Interviewer]

it to do it i'm sor it is real and they are believing it and they will continue to find ways it's embarrassing it is so embarrassing just like we're talking about with the gay community but i do feel like our tolerance for it is lessening i do feel like more and more people are like guys we did all the things all the dei and we put our black squares on our instagram and we did and white people saying i'm sorry white people like i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry and white people must apologize to everybody yes i actually was in oh my gosh i forgot about this random thought i was moderating a panel with tony dungey who's just the best human ever he's just the best and benjamin watson and a lot of like amazing former current at the time nfl players coaches and there's a woman who was speaking to the audience and a white woman who was super smart and just had knowledge of everything and biblically based and then she stood there and she said i just want to apologize and i was like for what and she goes i want to apologize for all white people because we and this is in twenty seventeen well i'm glad

[Jeff Dye]

she did that took care of it

[Interviewer]

for me so you're good you don't have to apologize you don't have to get a confession about this and she goes because we haven't been sensitive enough and jeff i'm sitting there there yeah and of course they see me and i'm supposed to be like yes yes it's about time thank you for that apology well exactly for me it was a it was a moment that i certainly didn't know was coming but as a biracial woman with a black father and a very white mother as my mom would say like half irish half italian pale skin son comes out she burns like she is white and i was offended of course and i said to her it's offensive but it was on stage so you're like okay microphones this could go everywhere be careful what you say twenty seventeen very different now from twenty twenty six but still and i said i have to tell you that offends me i love that that you feel like you need to apologize for any one group of people i said because what you're saying right now is that you're apologizing for my white mother tell me about how racist my white mother is and of course they don't know what to say if we don't sorry sidebar story but if we don't call them out when they say those things this will continue yeah and so i actually think it is our responsibility if we have a platform to do all the things and talk about sports and politics and i love it

[Jeff Dye]

and you have such a checkmate as being a female and biracial parents they

[Interviewer]

don't know what to do with that

[Jeff Dye]

yeah it's great for them because they got their brain breaks i caught i quote thomas soule and then they go i can't believe you sent me this i'm like this is one of the most brilliant minds of the last generation and he's a black guy and they're like and it's like well if a thing is just true it wouldn't matter who's saying it to you right you could just be able to read a thing and go is this truth or not you wouldn't need to know the race or the gender or the the sexuality of who said it and so do you know john mcwhorter is he wrote woke racism oh i know that book he's so smart and so great and i will you know tell people to listen to the book or whatever on audible i'll share it and they'll be like i couldn't get through this this guy because john mcwhorter doesn't speak in a stereotypical black voice so even them listening to it they go i don't know about this guy and then they hear that and they go oh

[Interviewer]

that's a thing too let me tell you the stereotypical black voice voice all

[Jeff Dye]

of it the race has been the biggest psyop i've ever lived through like it's they've literally brainwashed young white people into going hey the worst thing you could be is racist right and and so and i agree you shouldn't be racist that's a terrible thing to be but now you're so afraid of being it that you will say anything to not sound like it you get you're allowed to be violent to anyone who's labeled it you're allowed to you know you we've treated it like the devil like like and so when when something is that bad you think okay well i will do anything to not be that exactly i will do anything to not appear that i will do anything to not you don't know and and that's that's so dangerous to do and now we're witnessing the the fruit of

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[Jeff Dye]

more vacation another pina colada yes please

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[Interviewer]

com setup you talked about privacy and but then you lead this life i

[Jeff Dye]

know a very public life so it's

[Interviewer]

like how do you i am really happy and grateful though that you've chosen to not be private about your journey with alcohol yeah and how many days

[Jeff Dye]

i am two years four months and like thirty days that's amazing thank you

[Interviewer]

i feel great why did you decide

[Jeff Dye]

to talk about it i will say my jokes about it in my act aren't as honest as what i'll share with you like because you know it's not funny to just be like it's the best decision i ever made like like that's the people don't like that that's why there's no jokes about balloons and how cute girls are and cats you know it's because we want to make fun of girls and we want to like you know like the funniest things in life are you know moaning about things or whatever i decided to quit drinking just because it's time to grow up you know it's time to knock it off you know like i was losing a lot of time which as we age is more more sacred to us i was also like having conversations with people that i didn't even remember it was embarrassing to go to towns and they're like hey we've hung out the whole time last time and i'm like dude i got nothing i don't remember it now if i go to a town like last night in saint louis i smoked cigars with these two guys i'll remember them forever and next time i go to saint louis i'll be like what's up and that's meaningful to me because if i'm drinking just to connect and then it's not giving me the connection because the alcohol is you know taking over then that's what's the point like i'm trying to connect with people that's why i was drinking in the first place right i also just made a lot of terrible decisions you know like i i remember like this is a story i've never told but it's it's not very flattering but it was another reason where i was like all right time to get sober there was this girl lingering around in dallas and she was at every show and she was really pretty i thought she was hanging out with one of my opening acts or something i didn't know she was always just kind of around and she's at all the show shows and then as i'm flying home that sunday i messaged her on instagram i said hey saw you at all the shows i think you're really beautiful i'd love to like take you out for coffee or a drink sometime next time i'm in dallas and she wrote back like are you serious like we hooked up last night i didn't even recall having a conversation with her let alone having sex like that's a really big deal you know and it's embarrassing for her it's embarrassing for me me also super dangerous god knows you know with pregnancy or std's or or just just social humiliate like it's not a good you know it's not a good look and just things like that i mean that's obviously a really dramatic big one but like things like that are like is this the guy i want to be is this like the stuff i want to be i had a real dramatic breakup with a girl that wasn't even my girlfriend who lives in this township wasn't even my girlfriend and yet somehow it was this serious thing for me and just nothing for her and i remember just her recklessly talking about it on a podcast that i was like an alcoholic and i'm like was i am i an alcoholic like you know so all those things adding together was like all right let's not drink because you're gonna kill somebody if you if you if you deal with all the things that are happening to you right now with alcohol with

[Interviewer]

that example yeah and thank you for sharing that from dallas what did you say to yourself after it was humiliating

[Jeff Dye]

you know it's just full of shame and like but like those are the moments you can be honest with yourself and just like i love jordan peterson has a great thing where he goes you know nobody knows your flaws you know it's it's like crime and punishment like yeah you know you might get away with something but you won't get away with you won't get away with it you can't escape you you know what you did and he's got this great quote where he's like just sit on the end of your bed one day and just ask yourself like what are all the things i could fix or i could be doing better because only you know that no one else knows what what you're dealing with and so that was kind of one of those come to jesus moments where i was like all right this isn't the guy i'd like to be so what what are the things we're going to have to change here and i loved drinking i really liked it i had a great romantic relationship with alcohol and so you know most of the times it wasn't very negative but i think i had to like burn all that off to kind of be born again from the and and sobriety's been the best decision i've made do you miss it i miss the party element i miss the dating part of it like where you're like let's go get drinks now i don't know like what to say like hey you want to hook up i don't know like i don't know what the hell to just go straight there let's make out so i miss the i miss being a part of all the ways it's in the social fabric of life right but now i'm so out of the woods that i can have a non alcoholic beer you know zero alcohol or i can have a mocktail or nothing at all and so i'm i'm out of the woods on that temptation of it but other than that no i don't miss

[Interviewer]

it at all i feel like there's yeah there's always like one turning point yeah for everybody and sounds like there

[Jeff Dye]

were a couple oh man yeah a couple things i was neglecting i was

[Interviewer]

ignoring the signs yeah because it's easier yep and you're comfortable yeah and then it's like oh gosh you know can i survive without it and in your industry yeah as comics i mean i

[Jeff Dye]

feel like it's everywhere and it's free

[Interviewer]

it's part of it everybody's on stage

[Jeff Dye]

with a good show let me buy you a shot i mean like you know girls afterwards let's go get dressed drinks where are we hanging after this and like yeah it's a huge has

[Interviewer]

it changed any of your relationships

[Sponsor Voice]

let

[Jeff Dye]

me answer that honestly i'm trying to think there's no because all the guys who go man we miss drinking jeff you know they would say that sometimes those guys didn't really know me anyways you know like like the bert kreischers all those guys were like drinking jeff was fun you know but they weren't neither one of us were really with each other while we were drinking together does that make sense yeah and now we could still hang out without it so it's like that we still know each other on a human level that that those the times that people say that and it rears its head it's not like it's not a real so

[Interviewer]

was it an addiction

[Jeff Dye]

yeah i mean for sure i think it was more of a habit right now i'm just playing semantics i think it was an

[Interviewer]

addiction addiction yeah was it difficult to

[Jeff Dye]

quit no because i was so over

[Interviewer]

it by then interesting yeah because i was going to say quite often if you give up a vice whatever you replace it with something else yeah has there been anything else that you've picked up and i don't mean it like bad either are you working out more

[Jeff Dye]

i don't know no but i get i have a lot more time and i've got a lot more money because like i was spending a lot of money on alcohol really i didn't i

[Interviewer]

didn't even think of that part yeah

[Jeff Dye]

the money part's good it's also good for vanity i used to always have like big bags under my eyes and i was like pale and like puffy and i'd watch myself on a thing like this and go jesus jeff how much did you drink the night before but now like so like it's good for vanity it's good for my wallet it's good for my relationships yeah it's essentially all positives i'd say the biggest bad part would be that occasionally i will have an ask myself like well was it really an addiction is it like when i ponder those things that leaves room to be like well maybe i could have a drink and it wouldn't be a problem and so when those thoughts come in i get a little hesitant but no it was the easiest thing to quit ever because i was so embarrassed and so humbled by crashing my car i got a dui was a whole thing and so the humiliation of all that made me go i'm gonna prove this to everyone you know some people get five duis and don't quit drinking like mine was more like all right right everyone thinks i'm a loser for doing this i'm going to show everyone that i can i'll just quit like that's it like i i'm i'll make it how soon after

[Interviewer]

the dui was it that i quit

[Jeff Dye]

like a few days oh it was that fast yeah cuz i still was drinking and no one knew that it had happened and then my the girl that i just referenced that's christian cavalari mentioned it on her podcast that's right right i don't want to say ex girlfriend she wasn't my girlfriend so but the she mentioned on the thing and then that it was in people magazine it was in all these things it got really like big and so as much as i hate her for that also i do want to say thank you like you know like because that going public shined light on the flaw it shined light on the on the bad thing thing which made me have to deal with the bad things so like i now i gotta you know daddy up and go okay man this is a problem and you know i if i'd have got away with the dui and if i'd have like you know just it had been a secret nobody known i'd still be drinking right now and god knows what so sometimes bad things happen to you in life and and if you're strong enough or good enough to like make it a positive then you can't really be that mad about it you know have you

[Interviewer]

have you spoken to her yeah we're

[Jeff Dye]

good now we're cool you are i'm the best with forgiveness did you have

[Interviewer]

an opportunity to say that it hurt you what she did or maybe you didn't want to say that i don't

[Jeff Dye]

know i don't think she's the type of person who cares about that kind of stuff if that makes sense i don't think but i do think letting her off the hook was healing for me and maybe for her too so she apologized oh yeah she felt pretty bad i don't think she did i don't think she cares i really don't think she and i don't want to make her sound terrible i don't think it was that big of a deal to her this was just a thing i wasn't like a real man in her life but i also don't need it to be i also don't need to be holding on to it that much like i'm the one who crashed the car you know it was it was a whole thing i think that it only hurts me to hold onto it it's only she doesn't care she's meeting a new guy every three weeks and living her like she's not going to going did i hurt jeff's feelings like i can't wait around for her to care or apologize so it was healing for me to let her off the hook also god bless her i think she's cool and beautiful and i every moment i spent with her was heaven for me i really do think she was like the coolest funnest chick i've ever met in my life it's not her fault that i liked her more than she liked me so i can't be like mad like that i was just this little piss aunt in her life you know and that's really what it was all stemming from all my feelings about it were just kind of like you know she didn't care at all like she talked about it pretty recklessly and that's how you would talk about someone in your life who isn't that special to you you know

[Interviewer]

but there's a human element to things yeah and it's not an accident when someone publicly shares something that's pretty serious

[Jeff Dye]

yeah it was a pretty big deal yeah it was real kick me when i'm down moment but i think if if you don't care about the person you're kicking that much you don't even really notice that and that's a big that's a big tell you know about how much you meant to someone true so i mean that also helped me

[Interviewer]

get over it all quickly hopefully but you know there's a deeper issue there that she can deal with someday if she you know as far as how you treat people whether they're important to you or not like there's not i

[Jeff Dye]

don't think she would treat anyone else like that i think that like that's how unimportant i was to her you

[Interviewer]

know and she can have that live that way that's fine for you you're forty three forty three okay dating now

[Jeff Dye]

not really i i find it to be somewhat exhausting hard especially with the sobriety i'm way too honest now and

[Interviewer]

and drinking jeff is different from oh

[Jeff Dye]

yeah drink jeff was nice he'd sit there go oh you like pilates oh oh you think crystals are magic me too me too do oh you don't eat some things because the texture wow you know now now my now my date will say one dumb thing i'm like i'm out of here this is i'll venmo you what the hell is this i can't okay so i think there will come a time when i'm going to be good at you know i'll be able to get back out there and do that but right now like i'm so career motivated and self motivated and all these things and okay

[Interviewer]

this is such a cheesy question that i just hit me so you can

[Jeff Dye]

laugh all right no i'm not joe rogan

[Sponsor Voice 2]

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[Interviewer]

that's funny no it's not it is actually not i hate you see if

[Jeff Dye]

she leaves it in

[Interviewer]

what see if i leave it in i will not edit this one out either thank you very much when i die that's gonna be on my gravestone because every day people in my comments will be like what's joe rogan's dream so on my gravestone forget it i'll just get cremated so you guys can't put it on my gravestone i think it's perfect the perfect no such thing as perfect but the ideal woman that you someday hope to end up with fall in love

[Jeff Dye]

with mary now i hope this doesn't sound corny corny but i i just want her to be super fucking hot

[Interviewer]

you're a jerk you're a jerk i

[Jeff Dye]

need okay fine i'm joking i'm joking i'm joking i'll answer the question no

[Interviewer]

no no actually actually that should be on the list do you want to

[Jeff Dye]

be a crack with your thumbs up one hundred percent yeah okay super hot and yeah this whole idea that people don't oh it's not even about their looks it seems so comedic to me please it matters like who you're going to be intimate with is one of the most prejudiced things you're going to be that's intimacy it's okay to be selective yeah so obviously i'd like them to be good looking but i need them to be good at listening and talking that's the most important thing in my life if you want to know how to be my friend or what i'm like i never shut up i am a yammering nuisance to this earth like i feel like when when the stars look down at me they go that one guy just won't shut up you know like i i i that's my life i remember i was on the beach with the dog beach with all my buddies and their dogs are running around and these atv's rolled by us and it's like a family on a tourist thing with these atv's and they go we should do that sometime and in my mind i quietly thought no way dude who would i talk to you know because you're in a helmet you know i don't like anything where we can't talk snowboarding no thank you you know like i like anywhere we can talk this is i love this i would do this if we weren't recording at a coffee house i'd yes play darts i love to i love chat and i'll chat with strangers i'll chat with friends i'll chat with enemies people that hate me like i like talking and so a woman that would be with me either needs to a talk and bounce ideas off of each other and have fun or just can listen to my yammering enough and not be annoyed and so that's that's the keyest thing for me kids love kids want kids i'm at an age and i do date women that are like my own age generally like i'm not i've even when i was in my twenties i liked like a mom like lady you know now i've grown into my kink you know now it's age appropriate i'm just yeah but my last three girlfriends have all had children already really yeah they were like single moms and so that was kind of nice for me because i was like more in an uncle position where i could just you're the funkle yeah it was very and also it's cool because there's not a lot of pressure but also i still get to like have these kiddos and i really love kids kids so i think that would be a big plus i'd like to have kids but also if we don't that's okay there's plenty of kids in the world we can be around other people's kids you know i got nieces and nephews yeah how many i got the number is a little dishonest i say a lot of different numbers but it's because there's all these women in my life who consider me their little brother okay so if i'm talking about my actual sisters i have two two okay and if i talk about my actual nieces and nephews i have one niece and one nephew but in my life of like people who are like oh that's my little brother and i'm like i have nine nieces and one nephew oh my gosh and i have four sisters but that's not biological that's not

[Interviewer]

okay yeah that was confusing it is

[Jeff Dye]

i'll rewind the only reason i've i've got that speech memorized is because i'll be with a girl for you know hanging out and she was like you just told him you have two nieces but you told on stage you said you had nine i go i know it's a lie comedy is such a lie so many things are lies you

[Interviewer]

our relationship is beginning not on a strong foot if you can't be honest about how many nieces it seems so easy dude does f and are your

[Jeff Dye]

parents my dad just passed away in september literally like three days after charlie kirk was murdered so it was a very tough week week and my mom is still alive she lives up in kent washington and she you know we're getting her on the dating apps we're getting her back out no you're not i'm just kidding i'm just kidding you know she's married for sixty something years she has got to get back out there she's not getting any younger you

[Interviewer]

know they had the golden bachelor didn't

[Jeff Dye]

they yeah a couple years of it

[Interviewer]

i think would she go you're like mom i would never i would never

[Jeff Dye]

my mom wouldn't know what to do

[Interviewer]

i i apologize because i i remember i remember the your post yeah about your dad and you know we all if we haven't already gone through it certainly certainly will and i think that even if you know like my both my parents have a lot of health issues right now and they're close to eighty yeah and even if you're prepared for it like if it's inevitable for example you're not ready yeah it's tough

[Jeff Dye]

there's no way the hardest thing i ever lived through was my oldest sister got into a car collision and died in twenty fifteen fifteen and that was so sudden that it's just jarring you know like you never think you know your sister that's like six years older than you is going to die that way whereas with my father there was a lot of like signs and time so that was that made it easier but like what you're saying is true is like you just you don't feel comfy in a world where your parents are gone or your dad's gone your sister's gone and so that that part that part was is the most uncomfortable like to wake up and go oh yeah i can't call him or i can't you know how's your mom she's doing great with it all things considered you know she's she's being strong but then calling when she's feeling sad and so she's she's doing good and does

[Interviewer]

she have a lot of family around

[Jeff Dye]

her no she doesn't have she's in kent by herself they were just them that's one thing about my parents that was like very honorable i joke about it in my act that like my mom would have murdered my dad before she divorced him like there was there was no she talked about it all the time but like that's like they were like thick as thieves and despite any flaws they might have had in parenting or work or any other element of their life they were hella good at marriage like it was that's that's their strong thing is like my mom was was in her senior year of high school wearing a wedding ring my dad fell in love with her oh my god immediately he was you know a year older than her and they they were together the entire time we never saw them have you know you see little bickering and crap like that but you we never saw big blowout fights or anything like my dad never talked about other girls even in passing like they were they were just really really solid with each other and so that was a good model for me to see also i was going to

[Interviewer]

say so is your bar is high

[Jeff Dye]

yeah i think that that's what and you know as a single guy this will sound a little preachy but i think what the what my parents generation kind of taught me was like you fix things that are broken you don't replace them and so same with your relationship like whatever you go through it's just going to make you stronger to fix it just like in your life when bad things happen you you you gotta work on it and i think that that is really a credit to my parents is like you know when something happened they didn't flee they didn't go get a hotel they didn't you know go oh i'm gonna start texting so and so they worked it out and and i think that that's something that would be key in the future for you know a woman that i'd

[Interviewer]

like to be with you've been through so much oh it's nice of you and i and i i wonder how you balance that with comedy or is

[Jeff Dye]

it therapeutic oh comedy's definitely therapeutic yeah

[Interviewer]

when you think about about just your dad and that was within the last six months yeah when i read about your sister and how that happened and your post was so beautiful and i i forgive me like i put my i tried to picture myself in your shoes trying to write that yeah and i i can't i can't imagine how do you how do you get up and go back to work the next

[Jeff Dye]

day or yeah it was my sister was super cool too i'll try to talk about this without getting choked up my sister was like like that sister was she like i never had to be in trouble with her which is the best part like i could do i could have stolen from her purse and my sister to been like ah jeff needs money i could have set her apartment on fire she'd be like man you know we'll get it it's jeff like and that freedom to be myself and to be silly like she was so proud of me like she she told everyone like oh my brother's gonna be a comedian and like she was just like i always had that so that's why her passing was so hard because at her funeral i was like man i've always had her like that's that was my mom in a way that was my dad in a way so that was that was the hardest one for sure yeah you think

[Interviewer]

about her every day still yep yeah and she had a baby she has

[Jeff Dye]

a she had one baby he was like two years old when she died which is is insane but he's the best and he's like his name's jackson he's a cute little guy he's he got a lot of attention because of what happened if that makes sense like all of you oh everybody yeah and so he kind of would learn that and then manipulate it too to his advantage you know y man like at six he's like my mom died you just tell anybody you know my mom's gone you know like just he would know that that's how he would so he was he's but he's the great kid and he's super smart and he's like eleven now yeah he's eleven now and he he's obsessed with video games which i think is just anyone his age and those are like the boys that he hangs out with like video games so he likes video games but he gets a lot of attention and a lot of special treatment but he's

[Interviewer]

the best you said at the end of that post that you will you know obviously carry her in your heart with you till the day you die what do you try to do to

[Jeff Dye]

honor her good question i don't know like i think just being she really reminds me which we talked about before we started just about how much time we don't got like that's a big one which i think about with my drinking and like not wanting it's just cause i didn't know she was gonna go you know so it makes you go am i gonna die tomorrow or what's gonna happen so that's probably the one i think about the most every

[Interviewer]

day but i wonder if like there's you're so damn funny and so smart you can talk about anything but there's a true kindness in you thank you that i think comes through even if you don't want it to at times and i wonder if that's partially why i wonder if that has grown in you since then because of your perspective that we don't have any guarantees and that's how kind she was i think

[Jeff Dye]

i got it from her but but she got it from jesus like i really think that that's that's what is where it's from that's the source of it but i thank you for saying that because i think the thing i value highest in the world is kindness i heard it said once before and i've said it a billion times as my own i heard ricky williams say in a thirty for thirty doc that he values kindness and i value that that above everything you know so it's like if a guy is really talented but he's like a jerk or he's really athletic but he's a jerk i just want them to be kind you know like the reason i'm so hard on these some of the athletes like ronda rousey it's like she's one of the best she's a competitor we should be admiring how good she is at judo and how badass she is but i can't escape that she seems very unkind kind and it's like why do i need her to be kind she's a fighter i don't even know her she's a stranger but like it's just what i value the most and so like if i have a server at a restaurant and she's nailing everything she's refilling and she's she's doing stuff but she's grumpy i hate that i don't want to tip her like i'm with you but if she's fumbling around and our appetizers are cold and like she forgot to put her order in but she she's sweet she's trying and tipper one hundred percent of the bill like because i just what i value the most and i'm thinking it's probably just from being a young boy and wanting to be accepted or having friends but i think kindness is what i value higher than anything else so to for you to call me that means a

[Interviewer]

lot yeah yeah no it i think it comes through and because it is hollywood yeah and it's probably not as rare as it feels wheels people just do this and maybe put up this front and have this outer shell this protective barrier which i understand yeah because they're trying to protect themselves from the unkind people as well but it's almost like when you let it go and share like this is who i am

[Jeff Dye]

yeah there's it's very freeing it is and also like ll cool j henry winkler trying to think of i've i've worked or met met celebrities where i go i can feel it shining off of them terry bradshaw yeah they're just sincere kind people and and like i go that's what i like yes and then i also even though there's so many grumpy people that have been equally or more successful than them i like to think they got so successful because they were kind yes like i go like yeah that's why i love cool j as a star like he's just a nice guy you know know and being nice doesn't mean you know keeping your radical opinions to yourself doesn't mean any of that you can be kind with all of those things it's the

[Interviewer]

way you say it yeah literally you can you can be very firm anti this that whatever but but if you say it respectfully like okay i completely disagree with you jeff and here's why but like god bless you you're you

[Jeff Dye]

you don't want harm on the person no we're not debating people we're debating ideas and that's not the same thing thing trying to think where i was what you just reminded me of when you said that oh sam harris has a great book called lying and the whole premise of the book is about like it's never benefited anyone to lie over the truth yes and he challenges the people i don't know if it's his students or whatever to submit anything you think a lie would be better than telling the truth and none of them work how about if someone gets you a gift gift you know that isn't that you don't like would it be okay to lie to them that you like it and and he's like no because now they're going to notice you don't wear it around now they're going to notice that you that you whatever like they're gonna know but if you just be not honest about it and all the students push back like well but that'd be rude and he goes no because you can be kind about it exactly you could say i love that you talked about me yeah and bought me this it makes sense me so happy i'm not going to be able to pull off this hat would you like to give it to someone else or maybe i could you know there's a kind way to be honest or there's a kind way to you know say your opinions about things so to answer your earlier question i've only misrepresented myself in jokes when i'm going for the laugh but like there is a kind way to talk about those other things the only real real

[Interviewer]

misrepresentation is that you have have is the number of nieces or nephews yeah that's really dishonest is totally honest yes you you've just i don't know you've done so much like you've accomplished this dream like you've done it you are

[Jeff Dye]

doing it i'm so i've i've always just wanted to be a standup comedian and now i'm doing it so if as good as that or as high as that gets me or not like they can't take it away i'm a real standup comedian that's the dream i

[Interviewer]

did it you you have crushed it you've more than just done it right so but you've kept doing this and and i this is final question i my dream since i was eleven was to be a sportscaster and to be on espn how did that happen by

[Jeff Dye]

the way do your audience already know

[Interviewer]

this oh my gosh it's that probably it's who'd you watch it's a story for later for sure i didn't see anybody that i mean with women there are so few i'm ten years older than you so back then it was like like you didn't see anybody who you know as a woman a certain one that looked like me but i just knew that i wanted to be around sports and athletes because of the greatness factor and to see how like how do you take a dream of being an nba player and actually go do it right and you're around genie buss and everybody all the time like it's incredible and i remember like the goal was fourth center and i got there on like the first thursday of the ncaa tournament tournament amazing basketball like exactly this week that we're taping nineteen years ago that's amazing and then you go oh my gosh that's like your goal exciting yeah amazing i can die now but then a little more a little more you want a little more you experience more and then you have to keep putting goals up there right

[Jeff Dye]

yeah you got to grow so yeah so what's mine i would like to do exactly what i'm doing now for way more money money and because what i'm doing right now like i truly you know here's how i know that i'm doing exactly what i want to be doing if tomorrow they said we found out what you comedians make and it's against the law now you're gonna make zero dollars i would still do my shows tonight i would still do my shows tomorrow but if tomorrow they go jeff congrats on all the success here's fifty billion dollars in your bank account i would still go do my shows tonight and tomorrow tomorrow like i'm genuinely doing what i love i love being heard i love the art of coming up with a new joke and trying it out on the audience i love all that stuff my goal would be to get a netflix special somehow i'm being shadow banned in real life for for things and and i think that we can get over that hump i think that that i don't think it's impossible to get my views and my opinions and jokes on a netflix netflix so that's that's the goal right now i've got two seventy minute specials like ready to go so if if we if they give me one and that goes well we can make number two already and so like i'm already being proactive as if it's happening and working on those things in case and it might never happen but that's that's the goal and i'll be ready when it happens and then also i think it would be cool to make projects that that honor god in a cool way way and when i say cool way it's because i think people think church or god is boring and i don't think church or god is boring and so i think that nobody's ever been able to really make something that is mainstream but also has god get given the glory if that makes sense i think people think jesus is corny i think when somebody talks about oh you know my relationship with jesus there you go oh god this guy and i don't know when that started yeah it's a pretty raw book it's a pretty the stories are it's this living thing that's pretty impressive and so i would love to work or make things

[Interviewer]

that really honor that yeah okay i have that on tape keep rolling that back and when not if but when it happens like this is a i mean i won't bring you alcohol i'll bring you really good espresso espresso so but i just really believe that it is the way that we lead you know and the way you treat people is that all things you know good things happen to good people hopefully maybe maybe not but at the end of the day with our faith and if we're leading with that we're going to be exactly where we're supposed to be

[Jeff Dye]

yeah and it's always felt good i was so happy when i was poor and i'm happy now with money like god's cool that way that like it's amazing if tomorrow you crash out and you're homeless like you still got good god and that's the best part is that like you'll be like here we are let's start over here buddy like another chick left us and another another job isn't not coming let's let's make the best of it support for the

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[Interviewer]

it cannot it's all good i i can't thank you enough for doing this you a million options and the fact that you took time to come here and talk to me in my disastrous construction home but this is the only sacred space this is the part that matters right here they they don't see the beautiful look at all this but i mean and for you to share the things that you shared yeah thank you really really means the world to

[Jeff Dye]

me you're the best i told you from day one i'd be happy to

[Interviewer]

do it thank you and then she

[Jeff Dye]

goes oh do you know anybody famous that way i says sage excuse me

[Interviewer]

that is not at all what happened give me a break not true at all i get to go to my second comedy show ever tonight oh nice

[Jeff Dye]

what time you coming are we at six o' clock good you're going to be at the good one because i'm doing the first hour on the first one i'm doing the second hour on the second one and the second hour is like it's the light show you know so it's like edgier whatever but the first one is is like political stuff it's society it's like that's the one that is i would much rather you see first before the second one

[Interviewer]

and then wait do they kick us out and then we have to come back in oh what are we doing late night tonight babe i want you

[Jeff Dye]

to see the first one you see what time is the second one it's like an hour after the first one

[Interviewer]

i'm not sure okay okay we gotta figure this out literally my brother's a comedy horror i say because he loves it and he's coming down he's out

[Jeff Dye]

for it man you guys have built in celebrity celebrities it's like john crist nate brigazzi they're all here theo like they're all here which is exactly this isn't new york or la and then and austin's the new hub and and

[Interviewer]

they're here and zanies it's like this cool hole in the wall type place

[Jeff Dye]

right everybody goes my biggest criticism is it's lately it's gotten a little too big for its britches has it yeah just like the last few times i've been there it's always so celebrity obsessed i'm like hey i'm in town they're like oh sorry jason aldean's using the green room or kid rock's throwing a party or jelly roll this it's always some famous person that isn't even a stand up comic at zany's at zany's kicking it with theo and you know it's like and so i'm in the industry i'm one of the top one

[Interviewer]

hundred guys you are i was gonna

[Jeff Dye]

say and and i can't even get a spot as zany's cause i'm not

[Interviewer]

you know can we host it right here yeah let's just have them all come right here okay the pressure's on be funny tonight for me it's gonna

[Jeff Dye]

be great i'm excited started thank you thank you for having

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