Sage Steele (16:51)
It's. It was just so obvious. Like, I grew up especially around all my, My dad's a coach, coached all boys for the most part. And like, these are, these are observable truths. These aren't things. When people are like, we need more research. I'm like, do we though? Because, like, we have eyes. Like, we can see the differences. I have a son. Like, I, these are my. Living with a, I've lived with a professional athlete now for 12 years. We are built differently in so many ways. And those differences should be celebrated. They do not mean inequality. We are equal in value, but we are built different. And for, I believe since the beginning of time, we've all just agreed on these observable truths. And then suddenly we are told, don't believe your lion eyes. It doesn't matter what you see. And frankly, girls, it doesn't matter what you feel. Because those girls at Penn were going to the athletic administration and saying, I'm uncomfortable with this. And they were told, you need therapy. We'll Send you to therapy. We're gonna. We're gonna fix the way you're thinking and feeling instead of. Yeah, I could see how, you know, someone born female wouldn't want to get dressed in front of someone male. Yeah. Like, these are. It almost feels ridiculous to say it does. Like, the fact that we're still discussing this, and I understand why, because it's so prevalent, and we are losing medals, and, you know, they went from the, like, this isn't happening to now. It's like, it's just a few people. And then it became, like, hundreds and hundreds, maybe even into the thousands now. And now it's like, it doesn't matter. You know, it's. Why do you care? Why do you care, Sage? Like, it's. Instead of, let's just. Let's just have the debate over what's true and have that in the public square. That's what I was so upset about with what ESPN was telling me was, you can't even have the debate. Like, you don't get a say on this. And I thought, this is kind of in my lane. Like, this is girls in sports. You know, I'm no swimming expert, but I could talk about girls in sports. That feels. That feels like that's something that's connected to what I've done for 20 years. And when I was told, basically, you can't talk about that, shoot, then what can I talk about if I can't talk about something that's that connected to the world that we're living in? And I'm seeing these girls and talking to them privately and hearing their stories, that's when I knew, like, this is the beginning of the end because we were so misaligned. And where I take, man, I feel shame is I should have just right then. I should have right then been like, then I'm done. Then I'm done. But, Sage, the money, the attention, the life I had created for myself that I did not even realize at the time, my identity was so tied up in public opinion, and we had a job that depended on public opinion. When you have a job that depends on public opinion, it was really hard to figure out who I was because I was constantly trying to manage expectations of, like, how will people perceive this? You know, I started on game day when I was 26. And you're, like, thrown up there. I'm not thrown. Obviously, willingly up there in front of thousands of frat boys behind you and millions of people on tv. Try developing a sense of self outside of that. At 26, some can do it. I struggled. Mine was totally without me even realizing. This was all subconscious. It was so tied to the applause and the, oh, she's this and she's that. So when something came to a head and I knew, like, this is wrong, but it threatened my actual identity. I mean, I say that with shame, but, like, the. The feeling of, oh, I have an important job, and people compliment me, and I chickened out, and I shut up. And I went through another season, and countdown was great. We had. Even, according to our bosses who gave us reviews, like, ratings were up. We were up in the demo. Like, we were getting young people and women to watch. Left the super bowl in Vegas, like, all right, that was a great year. That was a great year. And I. I don't know. I guess the only way to put it is, like, sold out. Like, I. I just. It was great money, and it was the career I had built for myself over 20 years. And I was willing to kind of push it a little bit, but when I. When it really came down to it, I was like, all right, let's just keep it moving along here. And I do regret that. I look back, and the money I made in that extra year, you know, can't bring me peace now about those decisions. Money can always be made again. Or maybe it can't. Maybe I never make money like that again, and so be it. Like, I serve the same God that I was struggling to serve in that world. I would say I'm serving him better now than I ever was. Cause I see the truth of who I was becoming, and I'm. I. Man, I have so much regret. But. So that's why I'm grateful. That's why I'm so grateful that this happened, because I'm so glad it happened now and not when I was 65. And I'm like, man, I waste my life, you know? Like, I didn't do the good I knew to do. Like, I just kind of kept pushing it down. And the person I was becoming, it was just chipping away on a million different issues, not just about this, but that's why I'm so grateful. Like, I needed to get kicked off that hamster wheel and. And forced into a quieter, slower life. I get my husband. Laughs Because I'm always like, you realize you need to make up some compliments here. I'm not hearing anything nice anymore. Like, can you say something to me today that is so good? It is so good for me, Sage, to have all that stripped away to find out who I really am and what I really care about and to try and rebuild that sense of self on. On a firm foundation. I was living on sand. And when it went away, like, literally, it's just all gone. It's like the water coming up over your sandcastle. It's gone like that. And I'm so glad that it's gone.
