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The Sage Steele Show
The Dark Side of the Medal of Honor: "I've Never Felt More Alone" | Sage Steele Show | EP 91
02:07:09
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- [00:01]
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- [00:31]
Jimmy
He's the second youngest living Medal of Honor recipient. Third living recipient for either the Iraq war or the war in Afghanistan. What do you think of when you.
- [00:39]
Dakota Meyer
Hear that the Medal of Honor is the purest form of the American spirit? All they had to do was say one or two things. You're homophobic or you're racist. How do you argue that as a white male?
- [00:50]
Jimmy
If we get quiet now, then we are complicit in what continues to happen.
- [00:55]
Dakota Meyer
And while I think that women should have absolutely equal rights to men, they should never be valued equally. Sage I truly believe that every problem in the world right now is because of weak men. We have a generation, the weakest generation of men today because in an effort.
- [01:14]
Jimmy
To protect my kids, I was failing them.
- [01:18]
Dakota Meyer
Not losing. And not failing is failing and losing in itself because you don't appreciate a win without a loss.
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Jimmy
What has been your greatest loss?
- [01:27]
Dakota Meyer
When they come out and they're all dead and I'm alive. Well, that's failure.
- [01:31]
Jimmy
You tried to take your life.
- [01:33]
Dakota Meyer
I was still sleeping with a gun on my chest. I became exactly what I wanted to protect people from. It's my job to live a life that's worthy of those sacrifices.
- [01:49]
Jimmy
What to this day has been your greatest loss?
- [01:54]
Dakota Meyer
Oh, I mean, still, hands down. I mean, you know, September 8, 2009, I mean, I lost my whole team. Yeah, I mean, you talk about, yeah, I mean, you talk about, yeah, I mean, the greatest loss. I mean, you know, go in a Valley. I was 21. I mean, you go in a valley and just, you just, You're all in there and, you know, you're driving in with your team, talking about going home and like all the cool stuff, fun stuff you're going to do. And then six hours later, you know, you've, You're putting all of them in body bags and sending them home to their families and then going back to your house you live in and you're the only one that walked out two days before that. And you're the only one that walks back in it. And then you put their gear together and you send it home to their families. I mean, it's the biggest loss, the biggest failure of my life, you know? And, you know, while people, like, try to say, like, oh, you know, you got the Medal of Honor, like, but you helped a lot of people. You're not the one that pulled the trigger. Like, you're right, but I. I still failed.
- [03:22]
Jimmy
How did you.
- [03:23]
Dakota Meyer
Well, I went in that valley to get them out alive. We live. We live by the words, leave no man behind. You either get them out alive or you die trying. And if you don't die trying, you didn't try hard enough. And that's like, that's simple. It's a simple like it. And it's the truth. And I went in that valley to get my teammates out alive. I made them that promise and that commitment and that I would die if I didn't get them out. And when they come out and they're all dead and I'm alive, well, that's failure. And while it doesn't feel good. It doesn't. It doesn't.
- [04:02]
Jimmy
It.
- [04:03]
Dakota Meyer
It is, right? Like, whatever your goal is, that's. If you didn't achieve your goal, it's failure. And, yeah, I mean, there was a lot of good things that happened. We helped a lot of people outside of that. But the main point of it is, it was the biggest failure of my life. But if you change the truth to that, I'm not who I am today. Like, I mean, you know, if you change that, and I'm thankful for it, right? Like, I'm thankful. I'm thinking, does it hurt? Yeah. I mean, yeah, it just. I missed you miss them every single day. But it's my job to live a life that's worthy of those sacrifices, you know, because they would. They would be so mad if I didn't, you know, like, they. They died for this country. They died for what they believed in, and they died fighting evil. You know, take the politics out of it or whatever. But, like, they died fighting bad guys, and it's still the greatest loss of my life. I mean, you know, me being. Staying in the Marine Corps at the time, right? Like, I mean, everything, like, it changed my whole life, my trajectory of who I was. Like, the person that walked out of that valley is not the same person that walked in that valley. The pureness of how you see the world is just. I got to see the very best of human beings. I got to see the absolute worst of human beings. Like, the pureness of people. You just. The reality just was reality. And, I mean, it was a terrible. It was a terrible thing, but, you know, I'm thankful I got to know people like that. And. And I do believe that combat is the sacred knowledge. I do believe that combat is the sacred knowledge. And us, as veterans who have seen combat and who have seen the horrors of it, we have a responsibility and obligation to go and to lead people and to show them why good people matter and why they should be valued and why they should be fought for. Because we've seen the cost of freedom and we've seen what bad people are capable of, and so we should. We've got to see it firsthand. Like, I. I'm so fortunate that, like, I got to face, at 21 years old, what most people fear their whole life. They literally live their life fearing losing everything that they love, and I got to watch it get ripped out from under me in six hours at 21 years old. So what, do I have to worry about a bad day for the rest of my life? Most people are worried about bad days. I can. I've not reached a day yet that I can't say I've not been through worse.
- [06:54]
Jimmy
You kept going back in.
- [06:57]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [06:59]
Jimmy
And again, knowing, of course, what you were facing and. Yeah. The mission to not leave anyone behind.
- [07:10]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [07:12]
Jimmy
How often do you relive that?
- [07:20]
Dakota Meyer
I mean, I. I mean, obviously I think about. I think about those guys every day, but I don't. I don't, like, relive it in a negative way. You know, I'm so fortunate, like, that I got to know them, that I get to share their stories. I mean, I. I think about it a lot that, like, if I can. If I die and somebody was going to continue to tell my story for 15 to 17 years, you know, 15 years later, would that be worth dying for? You know, and. And, you know, with the. The. We're all going to die. Right. And I think I'm so. I'm fortunate that I got to know him. I got to be there. I got to be part of it. Yeah. I mean, I think about him every day. Right. It doesn't. You don't forget. Nor should you. But what I don't do is I don't ask myself why it happened. Like, why did this happen to me? You know, why did this happen? I don't do the whys anymore. You know, I. It's just. It's a. What. Like, what am I going to do with this now? You know, what. Can I help People. How can I use this to help people? That's what it's about now. Yeah. I mean, you think about it every day. Like, yeah, they were great guys. I think sometimes, as weird as it is, I still, like, sometimes it still blows my mind that I'll never talk to him again. It's been 15 years. 16 years. 16 in September. I was. Yeah, 16 this year. Yeah.
- [09:05]
Jimmy
That six hour stretch that changed everything.
- [09:08]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [09:09]
Jimmy
What are you most proud of during that time?
- [09:16]
Dakota Meyer
There was a point like when I was grabbing, when we were. We were carrying. We were going to carry my guys out, You know, when I went over. So I lived for us and 80 Afghans on a base. And so, like, we were embedded with the Afghan national army. So it was like a unique mission where we trained them. And, and I loved my Afghans. Like, I, they were as close to me as the Marines were. I don't, I know a lot of people have horror stories, things like that, but these people, like, I got to know them. I. I made. We ate dinner together every day. I went over there just and fully, you know, and got to know them as people. And I think the proudest thing of that day was because majority of the people that were wounded that day were Afghans. And so I was trying to get them out as well. And I was rendering aid to them, and I put tourniquets on the ones that I could help, and then I would hold the ones as they died. Right. If they weren't going to make it. And as I was carrying them out, I looked at. Because we were still getting shot at. And so I told my interpreter, Fazell, I said, hey, you know, I'll get them out. Tell the guys they don't have to help me. I'll carry each of my guys out myself. And the Afghan, he, like, put his arm around me and a soldier and he said, he said, you helped us get our guys out, and we're going to help you get your guys out. And, you know, it was a. It was like a real. It was like a moment that they might not seem significant, but it was like, significant to the. That they knew that they had seen enough, that I had cared about them, that they were going to start caring about us, you know, and, and so, you know, that I think that was probably the proudest moment. I mean, I wasn't really. There wasn't really anything else. It was just a really. It was a really bad day. Yeah, I mean, there was a lot of. There was a lot. I mean, it was a bad day.
- [11:22]
Jimmy
But you saw the humanity in them. Yeah, as well. Why did you initially want to carry them out alone?
- [11:34]
Dakota Meyer
Because I felt like it was my responsibility, You know, like the. Those were my guys, and I wouldn't want anybody. You know, we. We also. There was this, you know, when we got back to base, so we drove them back in these trucks and two trucks, and I rode back in one of them, and we pulled in the base. So what you do is you go down to these freezers and they have freezers where you put them in body bags and you do all this stuff to them before they fly out to go back to start the process home. And this sergeant major, he's a good friend of mine now, but he looked at me, put his arm around me, and he says, hey, Corporal Meyer. He goes, I got guys here that do this. It was like, because it's at the hospital down there, and he's like, I got guys here that do this. You know, you. You. You've done your job. And I remember looking at him and telling him, I said, if one of your guys touches my guys, it's on. And because they were my guys, like, I would want them to have done the same thing for me to make sure it was done right, and I would have wanted them to finish the job, not hand it off to somebody else. And. And so that's what we did, you know, like, we. We. We. We did it and that. Because that's what we do for each other. Right. Like, you know, I think people think that love is an emotion, and it's not. It's a choice. And I think that, you know, and I think that love that, majority of the time, it's hard. It's. It's. It sucks. I think that majority of time, love is hard, and. But it's. Right. And it's the only thing that prevails. And I think that, you know, I just treated them how I would have wanted to be treated if it had been me. And so, yeah, I think that's probably. I think that was the proudest moment, was those Afghans knowing that while I didn't know them, I didn't speak the same language. I didn't pray to the same God. I didn't. I wasn't the same skin color as them, that they knew that no matter what, there was somebody on that battlefield that cared about their people just as much as they cared about their own people and that we were all just people. Yeah. Yeah. When I talk about, like, we're the purest love I've ever. What I, Where I realized what love was, was on. Was that day. Was that day.
- [14:11]
Jimmy
The purest form of love at the darkest moment.
- [14:15]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [14:16]
Jimmy
Possible.
- [14:17]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [14:17]
Jimmy
In your life and the lives of your brothers and their families.
- [14:22]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah. Yeah. It's like. Yeah, it's, it's. Yeah. I mean, I, I, and, and I, I always, like, appreciate this one enemy and I, we got into it like it was, it was a back and forth and, and we won't get all the details of it, but I ended up killing. I ended up having to kill him with a, with like, a rock. And I remember, like, him looking at me and it was the first moment that I realized that I didn't hate this person. I didn't know him. And I, I, obviously, I don't remember it in that moment, but, like, looking back at it, like, I, I always appreciate that guy because it taught me. That guy taught me the biggest lesson of my life, of I didn't know him. He had a family just like I did. He believed in his cause as much as I believed in mine. Honestly, we had more pieces of us that were in common than were different. We were both only there because we were born in two different places. And the one thing that, that we had no control of is what had us in this single moment. And I think that, like, my ability to be able to connect to him and him giving his life to teach me that is like us connecting with people and relating to people is a choice because we are all more alike than we are different. And being for something will always prefer prevail over being against something. And that's love versus hate. And that battlefield in the darkest, like you said, the darkest moments is literally what shines the brightest light and is the core of everything that I stand for and that I believe in. And I don't believe that I would be the dad to my daughters that I am. Without all of these horrible, horrible things.
- [16:42]
Jimmy
It'S hard to comprehend the possibility of, you know, saying, I appreciate a man that I had to kill with a rock.
- [16:55]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [16:57]
Jimmy
What is that?
- [17:02]
Dakota Meyer
I mean, I just think that without these lessons, like, you don't appreciate and you don't understand. You don't understand, like, the value of life. And, like, did you appreciate him in.
- [17:17]
Jimmy
That, in that moment? Like, when did that come?
- [17:19]
Dakota Meyer
I mean, I. No, I mean, he tried to kill me and, like. No, he tried to kill me and, like. And he would have. I mean, there's. That's like. I mean, it's that, right? But one of us had, like, One of us had to die. But my point of it being is, like, this is why we all have to be very careful about our ideas, like, and what we believe in. You know, people can say what they want to say, but when somebody says I believe, I listen. Because what they believe in, if they truly believe in it, is what they will fight for and what they will die for. And I. I always use that story is like, it taught me that I wasn't against it. Like, you know, a lot of times you used to think that, like, you fought out of hate. You hate these people. It's like, no, I. I fight for what I love. I fight for what I care about and what I value, and that's what we have to do. You can't go out and fight against what you don't agree with, because that, I mean, that's what you see people doing right now. And none of that ever goes very far. But what you. If you fight for what you believe in and what is good and like, and if I can do that on a battlefield with a guy who just tried to kill me, we can do it here. And we've all got to find a way to be more united than divided. And I do believe. I do believe that the enemy is trying to divide us, because that's where power is. Divide and conquer. And I, I just, I think that. I think all those lessons, I mean, again, like, I know the value of life. I do understand what people are willing to do for what they believe in. But I also understand that sometimes people believe because of where they were born and what they were raised in. And so that two people can be. Two people might be right in a situation, but it doesn't mean that the situation, like, you have to stand for what's right. And you have to be willing to do conflict. You know, like, you have to be willing to say what's wrong. You have to be willing to look at your kids and telling them that they failed at this. They have to get used to this. Like, we need wins and losses in games. Not everybody gets a trophy. Like, because that's not life. I hate the word bully. I hate the word bully. You know, it's a. It's a. Because it's like an acceptance of being the victim. And I hate the word bully, and I hate when my daughters say it. There's mean people all through life, and you better toughen up because a bully is saying that you're accepting being the victim and you're hoping somebody else is going to help you out of it. And the one Thing I do know about life is that nobody's coming to save you. In the end.
- [20:26]
Jimmy
When I. Anyone hears the name Dakota Meyer, you've heard it ever since. He's the second youngest living Medal of Honor recipient, the third living recipient for either the Iraq war or the war in Afghanistan. The first Marine in 38 years to receive the nation's highest valor award. It goes on and on, the awards, being the recipient of. What do you think of when you hear that?
- [21:12]
Dakota Meyer
I don't know. Like, I. I always just hope that when people figure that stuff out, that by the time that they figure it out, that they're not surprised by who I've shown them that I am. All those things are just an ordinary person who just was willing to believe enough to take action. That's it. Like, the Medal of Honor is the purest form of the American spirit. You know, when you think about. It's just. It's. It's someone who believes in a cause that's bigger than themselves and who is willing to give their life to stop the suffering of good people, even. Even if it's. Even if it's the cost of their tomorrows. And that's it. It's not a. It's not a hero. It's not any of those words. It's just a. It's a person that loves people, and it's the potential that's in every human being that has air in their lungs.
- [22:19]
Jimmy
Do you like it when people call you a hero? Does it bother you?
- [22:23]
Dakota Meyer
No, it's mortifying.
- [22:25]
Jimmy
Mortifying?
- [22:25]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah. It's like you. If you want to ruin my day, like, that is the best way to do it, because, like, I. I just did what anybody else would do. Would do.
- [22:42]
Jimmy
As we have seen, though, not everybody goes back in or even does it the first time, whether it's their family or their brothers. Their Marine brothers.
- [22:58]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah. And I. But I think that everybody does the best that they can do. And, you know, being a firefighter, you know, I had this, like. I came back and, like, Covid hit. And I just seen the stress on the EMS system, you know, the crazy. And I joined, become a volunteer, and then I went to, like, got my certs and became a commissioned firefighter. And. And I. I just think that, like, I just have this. I just love people, and I think if you can, you must, right? And. And I don't know that everybody is built. I'm not saying that, like, I'm. I'm. I'm built in any special way, but I just think that we all are, like, tools in life. Like, we all are like a. You know, not everybody's a hammer, you know, like, you can't build a house with one tool. And I just think that, you know, maybe the value that I bring is. Is, you know, being able to be there to help people in their worst moments. And I'm thankful to be able to do that, you know, because those are the moments that most people don't want to be around.
- [24:13]
Jimmy
Yeah.
- [24:16]
Dakota Meyer
I like to say that sometimes that I think I'm kind of like the garbage man of life, you know? Like. Like people pick up the phone and they call me whenever things are the messiest, and that's where I can help out. And I'm like, I'm. I'm think I'm always thankful to be that in people's life.
- [24:39]
Jimmy
Who do you call when your life is messy now?
- [24:46]
Dakota Meyer
I mean, I got a lot of friends, right? I mean, I. Tulsi. I call, you know. Yeah, I call. I mean, I call people, right. I mean, I try not to, but I call people. Why not, if I need to? I mean, I don't know. Like, I don't. I. I do think that, like, I don't. Things really. I don't. I don't think things really get that bad for me, you know? Like, I. I don't really know what a bad day would be anymore. Like, as long as my daughters are healthy, my friends are healthy, I don't know what a bad day would be, you know? Like, do I have bad moments? I have bad phone calls. I have bad mornings. I don't have bad days, you know? And so I don't know. Like, I just. I don't know. I usually just figure it out. I think. I think you can either. I don't know. It's. That's a tough one, right? Like, how can you. How can you be relied on if you have to rely on others as well? You got to be what you gotta be who you say you are both ways it can. And like. And people do. Like, they, you know, like, they. I've got so many incredible people that are there for me, you know, My friend Cameron. I mean, I got so many friends, you know, I guess I just don't. And honestly, I feel selfish when I help, like, when I do these things, like, because, like, that's what fills me up, you know? Like. Like, that's, like. It's always more like, selfish of, like, when I. I can help somebody else. Like, that's what truly fills me up, is being able to do that. So it's almost like a selfish. I'm really selfish.
- [26:34]
Jimmy
It's a good kind of selfish if it's helping others.
- [26:37]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah. And that's about. That's. That's all I want to do. I've said it since day one. Like, I just. I want to change the world. And I believe that we can change the world.
- [26:45]
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- [28:35]
Jimmy
You talk about how much you love people. All people.
- [28:39]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah, I do.
- [28:42]
Jimmy
You tried to take your life.
- [28:44]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah, yeah.
- [28:46]
Jimmy
15 years ago or so.
- [28:47]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah. 2011, 2010. Yeah.
- [28:52]
Jimmy
Do you love yourself now?
- [28:53]
Dakota Meyer
Oh, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely.
- [28:56]
Jimmy
How have you gotten to that point? From wanting to die.
- [28:59]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [29:00]
Jimmy
To loving yourself?
- [29:01]
Dakota Meyer
I think you know, where I was at at that place, it wasn't necessarily a place of wanting to die. It was a place of not wanting to be an inconvenience any longer on the people that I cared about. You know what I mean? Like, that's what it came down to. I was a burden. And why were you a burden? I mean, I, like, look, I was. Yeah, I was struggling. I just came home from Afghanistan. Like, you know, my generation got mental health wrong. I mean, my generation has absolutely got it wrong. And. That was kind of like, you know, that was a way for me not to be a burden on. I mean, I mean, I was living in my dad's house, and my dad wouldn't even walk downstairs in the basement because he. Without yelling down there because he knew I was still sleeping with a gun on my chest. Right. I mean, I was drinking every day. Like, I was. I hurt more people than you could just by being, like, an asshole. Like, I mean, all those things, right? Like, just not being the person. Like, I became exactly what I wanted to protect people from.
- [30:17]
Jimmy
And.
- [30:19]
Dakota Meyer
But. But, you know, like, you know, what people did to me, they empowered it. Oh, I couldn't imagine what you've gone through. Like, they justified it. And it wasn't until somebody held me accountable, until they finally were like, you know, people look at you like a warrior. Like, what do you call somebody that drinks every day? An alcoholic. You treat people like. And I was the biggest foreign of form of hypocrisy, and it wasn't until I took accountability of that. And then also, like, I don't know how much you talk about it, but, you know, I went and did ibogaine, right? Which is a. It's a psychedelic, a treatment that they're using for PTSD that it's going all across Texas was the first to fund bill for research on it, which I believe is going to help so many people. I mean, I. I used to deal with the worst anxiety. The worst anxiety. I'm talking, like, waking up, throwing up once or twice a week. I don't know that my daughter's ever seen me sleep before 2020, because I never wanted them to see their dad wake up that way in an anxiety attack. And I went and did ibogaine and I came back and I never, like, literally, after going to the treatment center for four days, I came back and I haven't had an ounce since. Gosh. Yeah. And so I think, like, I. I do look in the mirror. Like, I. I'm. I love my life. I, like, I'M so fortunate. I. I'm my life today. I wake up every single day and I live the best. Every day is the best day of my life. And that's not even an exaggeration. I know that sounds. And you're talking about a guy who six years ago was ptsd, depression, anxiety, like, all those things. I mean, I was getting Stella ganglion blocks, like, in my neck. I mean, when you talk about all the way today. So when I tell people, like, if I can do it, if you're out there struggling right now. First off, there is no. Nothing courageous about suicide. It is the most cowardice, selfish act you can ever do because all you do is pass your pain on and amplify it by 10 and pass it across the world. What's courageous is going to get help and looking in the mirror and taking accountability and responsibility and getting help for it. And there's plenty of help out there. And if I can do it, anybody can do it. And I would encourage you to do it, because my life is. And get away from the people that enable it. Get away from the people that justify it for you. Get away from it. Because the reality is there's not one person on earth today that's gone through something that somebody else hasn't gone through and gotten through. And our uniqueness is not what we've gone through our obstacles. Our uniqueness is what we do with that afterwards.
- [33:47]
Jimmy
You've been open about how you tried.
- [33:51]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [33:51]
Jimmy
To take your life. And that somehow when you pulled the trigger on that gun.
- [33:57]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [33:57]
Jimmy
There were no bullets in it.
- [33:58]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [34:01]
Jimmy
Why do you think it didn't work that day and that you're still here today?
- [34:11]
Dakota Meyer
I mean, I think that. That. That like we said earlier, you might not be where you want to be, but where you're where you're supposed to be. And, I mean, I just think that, you know, God obviously is not done. And I mean, we don't have. I mean, I should have been dead so many times. Every day is a bonus day for me. Every day. I mean, I should have been dead so many times. And I don't know. I mean, I guess I've got more people to help.
- [34:47]
Jimmy
And you're doing it by continuing to talk about this. And I. That's where the courage comes in at this phase. Right. Is to continue to go back to places that would be much easier to just. Okay.
- [35:00]
Sponsor/Ad Voice
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- [35:00]
Jimmy
Let's put it over here. But you know better than anybody the effects of ptsd.
- [35:06]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [35:07]
Jimmy
And that's something you're I feel like you'll never stop addressing. Yeah, that. And is it more recent with supporting the legalization of marijuana, etc.
- [35:18]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [35:19]
Jimmy
Why are those two happening together for you right now?
- [35:22]
Dakota Meyer
I think all of the modalities, I mean, I think that because the number one thing we've got to get off of is big. This, this, this protocol driven prescription piece.
- [35:33]
Jimmy
And Big Pharma and what it's like.
- [35:35]
Dakota Meyer
I mean, I got it like, you know, they want to say, these conspiracy theorists about all this. A Big Pharma, like. No, Big. Big Pharma is absolutely the biggest enemy there is. Like, like, I don't know that there's a, I don't know that there's a bigger enemy on the planet than Big Pharma. And, but again, like until we can, until we get healthier people, you know, all it was was a, a modality that was going to help. I think initially it was set out. Big Pharma was set out to. Initially. I mean it's one of the biggest, you know, when we came out with prescription medication, that was one of the biggest advancements in literally one of the biggest. I think it's one of the biggest advancements in mental health and in the health world in the last 50 years.
- [36:38]
Jimmy
Yeah.
- [36:39]
Dakota Meyer
But it got weaponized.
- [36:40]
Jimmy
Sure did.
- [36:41]
Dakota Meyer
Just like religion does. And, and it's only as good as the people who have it in their hands. And we've got bad people running this. And so I think that what we've got to do is we've got to get healthier people because you've just got people who are weaponizing it. And we put better people in there. Just like politics, like the system's not broken. The people that are running it, like the parties aren't broken. It's the, it's the people that are running it. Like, you know, and so we've got, I think people can fix all these problems. And so I try to be as vocal as I can about it. And, and so I think that any modality outside of that now, I'm not for, you know, I mean I again, I think people should be able to do whatever they want to do.
- [37:23]
Jimmy
Yeah.
- [37:25]
Dakota Meyer
But I do think that there are consequences. Just like if you are drinking and driving, you get a dui. I think same thing should happen if you're smoking. Right. I mean, I think like there's laws for all. There has to be laws for all that because we don't want to get away from laws. And I think there's got to be consequences. But I do think That I, I, I do think that almost any, I don't know that I trust protocol driven doctors to decide. And I think people should know their own body and to be able to have options to use what works for them, not what's available to them.
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Jimmy
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- [39:57]
Jimmy
I think back on the last, my last, probably year, year and a half max of stepping into the political world in a way that I never wanted to or never thought I ever would. And I am so grateful. And literally the number one reason why I'm grateful that I did it is because I got to meet Tulsi Gabber. Yeah, she actually came to my wedding. Yeah, like you know, seven secret service people like, that was a difficult thing to come here to Nashville, Tennessee, for me. Like, I only say that because she's. She's just such a human being and a friend who happens to have a really big, important job, you know, and that's what I. I'm so grateful for. The human being.
- [40:39]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's. You know, I just spent the weekend with her and Abe shooting the tactical games.
- [40:45]
Jimmy
Really?
- [40:45]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah. And my daughters are there. And, you know, my daughters, you know, when they. We. We left the next day, I was taking them to school and. And they. They. They're like, they love her. You know, they. They're watching every move of her. And like, my oldest was like, you know, Dad, I. I want to. I want to be able to do that, like Tulsi, and. And that's, you know, that's what matters to me. You know, I've got. I've got two daughters, and showing them and having them around people like her, women like her is.
- [41:17]
Jimmy
Is.
- [41:17]
Dakota Meyer
Is always just an honor, you know, not only to call her a friend, but, you know, that's the one thing I think you just pointed out. The one thing about her is, is she always shows up.
- [41:26]
Jimmy
Always.
- [41:27]
Dakota Meyer
She's never like, I don't care. She could have the weight of the world on her shoulders. And when you call her, she's going to answer or she's going to call you back. She always shows up. And you never feel like. I've never once felt like she was too busy to be a friend.
- [41:46]
Jimmy
I feel like it's rare these days more and more, you know.
- [41:50]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [41:51]
Jimmy
By the way, that's some good parenting by you with two daughters who are ages 8 and 9 babies, but receiving so much, and especially in today's world, so that's great parenting, is to make sure they are surrounded with strong people, strong women. Man, if you do that, keep doing that, they're gonna be great.
- [42:14]
Dakota Meyer
That's what I wanted to see, you know, I wanted to see examples of, like, people who, you know. So I gave them. We call it our box. It's called the Meyer box. You know, my girls, I think, like, we fight. I think, as parents now. I think back our generation, our parents could more control what influenced us. And I think today, you know, you're. You're not able to control it as much, which is why, like, paying attention to what's in school and like, what teachers are saying and, like, what they're consuming on content. Right. We're always fighting for, you know, influence of our kids. And so, you know, my Girls, they're at school and they, they keep coming home. They're, you know, they're starting to deal. They're getting at that age where they're having to deal with their, their own personalities, making decisions and all that. And so I gave them a box. We came up with a box of what all their decisions and actions had to fit in, you know, because they were navigating like they are navigating, you know, real their world problems of like, hey, this person treats me this way. And instead of just telling them, well, you can't, don't do that. Don't say that to them. Like, I need to give them something they can aim for, not something that just tells them when they're wrong.
- [43:23]
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Yeah.
- [43:24]
Dakota Meyer
And so I gave them their box. And so their box is, is to be kind, to be respectful, to be strong, and to be a leader. And that's the four outsides of their box. So every decision and action they make, it has to represent those four boxes. And you know, my girls, they, they, it was probably one of the proudest moments. Like they, they've been getting like the leadership they're in leadership stuff, kindness, awards, like, you know, and, and that's like, it's really good, you know, but. But they get that stuff from examples of like, you know, the women they're around, you know.
- [43:54]
Jimmy
That's amazing. Gosh. I want you to think back to 18 year old Dakota Meyer and the concept of a box.
- [44:06]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [44:06]
Jimmy
And what it all stands for.
- [44:10]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah. You know, I grew up with my dad. My dad was all. He was always principally, you know, grounded. He wasn't a guy that cared what anybody. I mean, no trends or not like, nothing like that. You know, I went to the marine Corps at 17 and so I don't know that I had like, I think my box then was just, you know, at that time, I mean, we had a war going on, you know, and we were, you know, you were just training to go fight. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know that. I don't. I think the Marine Corps gave me. I think it was good because the Marine Corps gave me my box. Right. Like honor, courage, commitment, and you're trying to live up and then legacy. And we were trying to live up to the people, the giants that went before you, you know, and I think that was. But I think like, when I look back, you know, overall my life, my dad always showed me the example of. Because we grew up on a farm, you know, the animals are always relying on you. So you're Always having to put other living things first.
- [45:21]
Jimmy
Yeah.
- [45:22]
Dakota Meyer
And so I think that that was always something that was rooted into me is like, you know, you didn't open up your Christmas presents before the animals were taken care of. Like you didn't eat breakfast until the animals were taken care of. Right. So my dad, like instilled kind of those leadership, taking care of others kind of naturally through the principles that he taught us, taught me growing up, you.
- [45:46]
Jimmy
Know.
- [45:48]
Dakota Meyer
But I mean, 18 year old Dakota, what a. It's a good thing I went to the Marine Corps because I would have probably been in prison, you know, who knows? Who knows?
- [45:57]
Jimmy
Why was it the Marine Corps? Why did you choose Marine?
- [46:00]
Dakota Meyer
I don't, I don't know. Like, I don't know. I mean, I think the Marine Corps knows how to talk to their people. I think the Marine Corps, the people who join the Marine Corps are, I always say, like all the branches. But of, of all the branches, the Marine Corps is the most emotional branch. It attracts the most emotional type of person. It's emotionally driven, you know, which I think is, I think is kind of like the secret sauce to it of, of being able to be a small branch but being as lethal as, you know, the Marine Corps is built just to fight and to break things and to. That's what Marines are built for. You know, I always like to say that they're the chosen branch of America because they don't logically fit on paper in a place. Right. You got the army has the ground, the Air Force has the air, and the Navy has the seas. Like, where does the Marine Corps fit? But I think, I think that they've proven themselves over and over to when all logic has been exhausted and when, you know, uncertainty starts to prevail. The Marines have always showed up and found a way to get it done. And I think that's because of the people they attract. And so I think for me, I just, I wanted to do something different and I didn't really know what I wanted to do. And I, I don't believe that we're always where we want to be, but I believe that we are always where we're supposed to be. And so I think that, that, you know, I think it's just, you know, whatever you want to call it, but I ended up where I needed to be.
- [47:40]
Jimmy
Do you genuinely think you would have ended up in prison?
- [47:45]
Dakota Meyer
I don't, I don't, I don't know. I mean, I do think that the Marine Corps, I do think the Marine Corps taught me. I think It. I think it was a good place and a safe place for somebody as driven as I was to. To like you. You weren't. It's like bowling with bumpers, you know, I mean, like, once you get into the Marine Corps, once you get into the Marines, like, leaders are taking care of you, and it's strong leaders, you know what I mean? Like. Like. And they're gonna, like, you know, they're gonna. They're gonna, like, help. They were. Once you. And so they're gonna help shape you. And I think. I think they did a good job at that. I don't know. I don't know where I would have ended up, but I don't think I would have been as impactful without it. You know, I don't think that who I was and my desire to be good and my desire to help others would have been as focused as the.
- [48:50]
Jimmy
As it is. It was just your dad.
- [48:53]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah. So I grew up with my mom until I was like, 10, and then I grew up with my dad from that point on.
- [48:58]
Jimmy
Okay. Were you able to maintain a relationship with your mom?
- [49:01]
Dakota Meyer
I don't. You know, the only. The only. I mean, you know, I'm adopted on my. My dad's side, and then. Yeah. I mean, the only. Yeah. I got my dad and my daughters. Yeah.
- [49:15]
Jimmy
So that's. I'm trying to break that down in my head because it's. It's amazing and beautiful and as it was supposed to be, that you didn't have your mom there and then you have two girls.
- [49:31]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah, yeah. Yeah.
- [49:35]
Jimmy
Did you have sisters?
- [49:37]
Dakota Meyer
I do. I have two sisters and a brother. Okay. Yeah.
- [49:41]
Jimmy
So you had that feminine influence A little bit, I guess. Or were they. Were. Did you live with them?
- [49:46]
Dakota Meyer
No.
- [49:46]
Jimmy
Okay.
- [49:47]
Dakota Meyer
No. No. Yeah. So, I mean. Yeah. From probably nine or ten, so fourth grade. So whenever the. Whatever age I was at the fourth grade because I went into fifth grade living with my dad that summer, between fourth and fifth, I moved in with my dad. And from that point on, like. Yeah. I mean, there was. I didn't really have any con. Like, I didn't really have much contact. I mean, still, like, talked some, but, like, not. Not very much.
- [50:15]
Jimmy
That's. You're a baby at that age.
- [50:18]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [50:18]
Jimmy
Going through that. Which essentially is a loss. Right.
- [50:24]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [50:25]
Jimmy
How. How did dad handle that? Because he's trying to raise. It's a fine line. You're trying to raise a strong young man.
- [50:33]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [50:34]
Jimmy
And make him tough and strong.
- [50:36]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [50:37]
Jimmy
And you can't just ignore this part. Right. I mean, as a Parent. And you're a parent now.
- [50:44]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah. I mean, so I think that at a young age, I learned that, like, blood doesn't make you family, you know, because I was so fortunate. Like, you know, you know, you say, like, on a. You look at it and say, yeah, you lost. But honestly, like, I'm so fortunate, right? Like, I, like I, I think I used to hold a lot of resentment, and I probably owe my mom this. Like, I used to hold a lot of resentment. But. But what I do realize the older I get is like, everybody did the best they could with what they had, right? And. And. And, you know, and, and those things are so multidimensional and, and, and, you know, but, But I do think that everything that I had growing up was. Was preparation for what I needed to be prepared for. And, you know, my dad, you know, my dad, you know, I look at him and I look, I look at. I look at what that guy sacrificed. You know, you take. You take a guy you want to talk about, like, and that's, that's what I say a lot is, is like, people, you know, you think, I mean, I haven't done anything. Like, you want to see the people around me, right? Like, my dad sacrificed, I mean, literally sacrificed his life for me and others, right? Like, I watch how selfless he is, and he's, you know, he's, He's. He's literally sacrificed all of it to, to take care of other people. And then, you know, I have my grandparents, you know, my aunts and uncles on, On. On my dad's side, you know, they all stepped in. Community people, right? I mean, teachers. Like, I was so fortunate. I had so many people that were going to be there to make sure that I had what I needed. And to give me an example, like, I've always had that my whole life.
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Jimmy
What half this stuff was.
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- [54:16]
Jimmy
What a. Yeah, what a blessing. And I didn't know about your mom. Is that something you don't speak about publicly?
- [54:24]
Dakota Meyer
Usually, you know, I, I don't because I think people are so judgmental, right, And I think that, that, you know, everybody picks this and picks that and I don't think anybody's ever, you know, stood in her shoes, my shoes, at the end of the day. Like, I think my mom did the best she could. And, and I think, as we all know, right, like I, I always look back, she could have made easier decisions. That could have been selfish for her. You know, she had me when she was young and she could have made real easy, she could have took the easy way out and I would have never been here. You know what I mean? So like, I think, like when I look at these complex things, I just always think about that while it might not have been how it should maybe should have been, or whatever you want to call could have been way worse or it could have never, or it could have never been right. And so, you know, I think my mom sacrificed a ton of her future and her life by making a decision too, you know, So I think that everybody, everybody does the best that they can and that's just what it is. But I think that's, you know, so it's, it's one of Those deals.
- [55:45]
Jimmy
Yeah. I'm so glad you said that. And of course, I've heard that a million times, whether it's related to me or, you know, on a podcast, whatever. But about. They did the best that they could. And then. Because we all have people in our life that we need to forgive. Probably.
- [56:01]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [56:02]
Jimmy
And. And then I. There's a part of me, maybe it depends on the person or the situation. I'm like, but did they. And then, you know, there's. There's emotion there. But did they. Because they chose this or that. And at the end of the day, it's not healthy to go back and try to break down the why. Because you're right, we haven't walked in their shoes. So I'm grateful for that reminder from you, as we all try. As I try to move on and forgive. And forgiveness isn't necessarily for that person either. Right.
- [56:36]
Sponsor/Ad Voice
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- [56:37]
Jimmy
It's for ourselves. And if. And if we have faith in God, like, he wants us to forgive people no matter what they've done to us or not done for us, as maybe they should have. And I. I still struggle with that concept, so I needed to hear that.
- [56:54]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [56:55]
Jimmy
From you today.
- [56:57]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah, I mean, I. Yeah, I mean, I think that, like, what we. And I. And I. I probably learned this the most, like, in war. Like, I think I. I think I. I mean, I was actually texting a friend today, one of our. We. Mutual friend. But I was like. I think. I think sometimes. Because, like, even today, like, I still question. Like, some days I wake up and I question. Like, I mean, I was. I used to kill people. Like, like, like, the reality is, is there's people that left this earth in my face was the last thing they've seen. And then today, like, I'm braiding my daughter's hair. And so which one am I? Right. And. And so, like, you know what I mean? Because. Because to. To their. To their kids and their family, I'm just as evil as they are to my kids and my family. And these things are so complex and they're so multidimensional, and I think that things just are what they are. And you must take and understand how it makes you better. Right. Like, none of these. All the bad in the world. I think that all of us, we face this bad, and you can't decide what bad you face. You have no control over anybody who thinks they have that control. Like, they're just living on a false insurance policy. But I do think is. Is that it's your job to Take the bad you see or you have to go through to absorb it. And the only way the world rids the world of bad is if you absorb it and then you turn it into good. And that's what we have to do. Right, but you can't do that when you live your life either a questioning why somebody did what they did because you'll never figure that out, but. Or holding grudges or using any of your bandwidth to. To try to hold somebody accountable. Like, it's not your job. They have to live with it. It's like responsibility tax. Do you want to pay anybody else's taxes? No, you should only pay yours. And they can choose to pay theirs or not, but that's on them. And so, you know, I think that we all get wrapped up into it. And I just try to ask myself, like, is this helping me or hurting me? Because if it's. If it's not helping me, then why would you choose to put thoughts or continue to take actions or continue to cultivate ideas that are doing the same thing that you're mad at them for doing to you? It's so weird.
- [59:51]
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- [59:53]
Dakota Meyer
Is pretty good, but I couldn't get the car loan.
- [59:55]
MyFico Advertiser
Are you using myfico.com?
- [59:57]
Dakota Meyer
No, it's some other company.
- [59:58]
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- [60:06]
Dakota Meyer
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- [60:22]
Jimmy
Sounds so easy.
- [60:24]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah, but forgiveness doesn't mean forgetting. I think just as dangerous as for is not forgiving is forget is forgetting. Right. Like, because then you lost the lesson.
- [60:40]
Jimmy
A lesson.
- [60:42]
Dakota Meyer
You know, I read this thing one time about victors like. Like victims or like. No, villains. So basically, like people who hurt people and people who help people, they both come from the same thing. It's just what they chose to do with it after it happened. One chose to hurt people because they got hurt and the other one chose to help that they didn't get hurt like they did.
- [61:07]
Jimmy
Yes, yes. One of the. I don't know if it's a problem. I don't even know how to properly say it. But what we see quite often is within that decision. Then as we examine it and let's say it's okay. I'm going to continue to choose to hurt. Well, why? And well, I was hurt and this is how I was raised. And in some ways we, we are very good at making excuses for them.
- [61:38]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [61:38]
Jimmy
Well, this is what happened in their childhood. This is what happened at war. This is what happened when they didn't get that job or they were abused like legitimate things. And therefore it's okay that you did that. Like what, what's that line? And I don't know that any of us have the answer perfectly. But what is that line for saying, okay, yes, you made the bad decision and there is some accountability.
- [62:00]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [62:00]
Jimmy
For that.
- [62:01]
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- [63:38]
Jimmy
You know, maybe it's a combination, but.
- [63:40]
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- [63:41]
Jimmy
We are where we are right now is because there's been a fear of holding People accountable. It can start young when, you know, you didn't turn in your homework. I'm gonna pass you anyway. Like, what is that teaching? And then it leads into things that could be life and death.
- [63:56]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [63:56]
Jimmy
You know, the accountability thing, which is something that the military certainly teaches you. It does a great job of teaching, Right?
- [64:01]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah, in many ways it does. You know, my dad. My dad was very structured, accountable, the consequences. Right. And I do. I do agree with you on this. Like, I talk about this on my sub stack. Some about. I just talked about the gray. This, this, you know, society. Society is kind of mimicking what we're seeing with politics right now. So, like, society should be formed by people, not society forming people.
- [64:36]
Jimmy
Yes.
- [64:37]
Dakota Meyer
So. And we see that right now. Right. Same thing with the political parties. Like, the political parties are supposed to evolve with the people, not people having to evolve with the political parties. So all we have is leadership problems all the way down to leading ourselves. Yeah, I believe that. Hurt people, hurt people. Healed people heal people.
- [64:59]
Jimmy
And if you've taken the time and effort to heal from your hurt, you.
- [65:05]
Dakota Meyer
Can'T fix something until you acknowledge that it's a problem. And so I think that people have. Their trauma has become their identity. And you see this with veterans, ptsd. Well, we talk about ptsd. You know, I was painted this picture coming home first off. It was like, well, you're different. Well, yeah, obviously, you know, but you're different. You know, any. At any point, big point in life, like losing somebody like it. Like, we're always getting. Being different, but, you know, to set the expectation that. That the best I could be is a victim or manage the symptoms of my own service was what was set for us. Same thing with ptsd. Like, PTSD has become this. In depression, anxiety. They've all become terminal illnesses, not injuries.
- [66:00]
Sponsor/Ad Voice
And.
- [66:01]
Dakota Meyer
And nobody wants to hold anybody accountable. And now you've got this suicide running rampant through the military, all of it, because people have become products. And. And I. I do believe. I do believe that. That once doctors start being protocol driven, that were written by. I mean, you look at all this aspect like, it. What happened is it was weaponized and we've got to get people back. Stopping from outsourcing their responsibilities. Like, raise your kids. Like, you should be setting the principles of your, you know, the principles your kids need to live by, not the teachers. Teachers should be raising your kids. Raise your own kids. But, you know, we've got these people who. They want the gray area, because in the gray, you know how you get gray you take. I mean, I remember in art class, you take black and you take white and you mix them together until there's no distinct difference. And now it's all gray. And there's no wins, no losses, there's no, there's no. Nothing you can work off of. There's no data points that you can get better from. There's no good, bad, all of it. You mix it up and you change the truth one word at a time. And then what happens is, is this is where people. You call it empowerment. And guess what people do is it's at the expense of the very people that we were, we want to help. And now they're caught in this. Nothing they can do to get out of it. I call it the why mindset. You have to. If you want to get out of it. Why is subjective. What is objective? And if you want to get out of anything or you want to fix any problem, you have what you have to get to, what, why doesn't even matter. And it's not even relevant in any of it. And, you know, I think that. I think we've got a society that's put in. Why? Because I think that. I think that if you. I think it's become, you know, the more that people need to rely on government. I mean, it becomes power, you know, And I think it's just become that. And I think we've got to get people back. We've got to truly empower them and we've got to do that by accountability. There's only. You can only get better when there's results, when there's, there's, there's good and bad, there's wins and losses. You can't take that away. There's men and women.
- [68:29]
Jimmy
Yes.
- [68:29]
Dakota Meyer
Right. And, and, you know, I just, you know, I just teamed up with, you know, XXXY Athletics. I mean, I've got daughters and, and, and to. There's no bigger feminist on the planet than myself because I've got daughters, you know, and it's, it's just a. But we can't let truth go away because truth. Without truth, there's no accountability. And we've got to start stepping up and it doesn't feel good. You know, like the reality is this truth in the results. And when there's no truth and there's no results, there's no love. And where there's no love, hate flourishes. And it's just. That's where we're at right now. But I do believe we can get it back. I do believe that I believe with every moral fiber of my being. Like, I do believe it, and I do believe that most people are good. I, I, you know, and honestly, I still believe the same amount of people are good today as were 20 years ago. I don't believe that the people that are being the loudest are representing the majority, but I do think that the majority has got to stop being silent. I think we've all kept our heads down and we've tried to use these things that were, I believe, weaponized by the weak. Take the high road. You know, that's not your. I think, I think those things were, like, weaponized by weak people who didn't want to get held accountable. The gray area, yes. And I think that we've all got to put our foot down, and instead of trying to evolve with society, we've got to say, no, this is what society is going to be.
- [70:20]
Jimmy
Yes. I believe now more than I ever have probably in the last 20 years that we can do it and that people are probably more now than ever up for the fight. After Charlie Kirk, when people witnessed that something that seemed really something that would never happen in our country, that was like, okay, enough. I've had, I'm sure you've had 10 times more than me. People coming up in airports, wherever, in tears, feeling guilty that they have been silent. And I've hugged more strangers over the last couple of months, because I get it. I get the silence, and I get it. Even after something like this, when I got calls from my three kids, it's impossible to get them on a call together, and they said, mom, we want to FaceTime you tonight, the day that Charlie died. And they were like, no more. We don't want you speaking. We don't want you going to college campuses. We need you. We love you. I was like, oh, wow. They do. They actually. They might not like me, but they love me right now.
- [71:36]
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Today.
- [71:37]
Jimmy
Tomorrow might be different.
- [71:38]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [71:39]
Jimmy
And I respected it because, you know, I'm their mom and they want me to be around. But I listened and I said, guys, this is what they want, though. This is why we've gotten to this point, is for us to be scared and too silent. And if I get quiet now, if we get quiet now, then we are complicit in what continues to happen. So the silver. One of the silver linings of a terrible situation, like what's happened to Charlie, is, is that I think people are like, enough. Because if this is what happens when.
- [72:17]
Sponsor/Ad Voice
You behave and don't offend anybody and.
- [72:20]
Jimmy
Live in the Gray, like we, We. We can't afford it anymore. And that's why I have hope after devastation.
- [72:28]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah, but Jimmy, like, I'm going to give you the. It's kind of. It's kind of awesome you put it that way. Because for anything like, this is the hardest thing for people to, I think to like swallow is. And I was one of those people. I was silent. And after Charlie Kirk, I literally, I can show you. The text literally was like, I have to do more. Because the reality is, is. Is at, at that point in time, actually before January for sure, if you said the wrong thing, you weren't feeding your kids.
- [73:08]
Jimmy
Correct.
- [73:10]
Dakota Meyer
And. And it's the first time, like when I post, you know, Pete's a friend of mine. And when I posted supporting him, it was the first. Heck, Seth. It was the first time that I had people I thought were my friends, but they were. They were also in authority roles in some of the relationships I had threatened me being like, my contracts going forward.
- [73:41]
Jimmy
What.
- [73:42]
Dakota Meyer
And it was the first time I realized that, like, now we had disagreed on multiple things, but it was the first time that I spent probably a few days having to call other people that were in kind of that circle of like, relationships that I worked on and to make sure that I wasn't going to lose my income because of a post of supporting somebody and how I felt. And that was the first time I actually had to swallow how dangerous those types of people were. And they don't care what's right or wrong, and they don't care what's equal. And they don't care about anything about free speech or any of this stuff that they want for themselves.
- [74:32]
Jimmy
They preach about.
- [74:32]
Dakota Meyer
They preach about. They. And I'll tell you this. Truth and right and fair is nowhere in their vocabulary. It's what they want, when they want. And if they don't like what you do, they will do whatever they can. Not whatever they should, but whatever they can to get what they want. It is absolutely insane. And I think for me, like, after Charlie Kirk, you know, when I came back from Afghanistan, I refused to. I wasn't a guy that. I didn't really touch guns much. I didn't carry none of that. I refused to live in a country under the same concept that I just went and fought for. I refused to. After Charlie Kirk, though, like, I started my substack. I called up, you know, Vanessa and I was like, I gotta. I gotta do something. I gotta do more. And so I started my substack. Cause I could put my longer like our, we have to start using our voice, not just our actions now.
- [75:34]
Jimmy
Yes.
- [75:36]
Dakota Meyer
And, but what I'll say is like people, I think the one thing that people have got to swallow is for anything to live, something must die. And it's biblical. It's biblical for you to live eternity. The old you must die. Jesus died on a cross so that we could live forever. And I think these moments, you know, we can't, our generation will never see, hopefully, hopefully, knock on wood will never see or have an opportunity like we have right now to be able to. I mean because all of us are just matches compared to the flame that Charlie Kirk was. And it's going to take all of us together to go out and to continue that path on of good and to ensure that his life that he gave is, is worth, was worth every bit of it. And it's only through our actions that we'll decide that going forward. And I hope we don't do the human thing of real quick forgetting.
- [76:49]
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- [77:19]
Jimmy
So in the last couple of months, you've changed since losing Charlie and decided to live a different way. No longer being silent.
- [77:30]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [77:31]
Jimmy
So what has had to die in your life in order for you to live differently?
- [77:37]
Dakota Meyer
I mean, I've just had to accept the risk that, you know, if people don't want to be associated with it, then that's fine. But I can no longer do this at the expense of the very people that. Because real quick you become what you're trying to protect people from. You know what I mean? Real quick. And there's a very fine line. And I think that, you know, I just think that, you know, for me it's, it's about trying to impact change. It's about talking about topics that, that matter to me. It's about, it's not, it's not sitting back and being silent anymore. It's not going along with, you know, I don't, I don't, I don't care what, what you think of me. I know at the end of the day that I'm a good person. Like, I know at the end of the day that I look at people in one or two ways. You're either good or you're evil. And, like, if you're not evil, like, I don't judge you based on your actions at that moment. Like, none of us want to be judged at any. Not. I don't think one single action defines any of us. I think it's the accumulation of it. I think that's what God talks about a lot. Right. Like, do the next right thing. You know, we all make mistakes. That's why, you know, that's why there's forgiveness. You just talked about it. Like, that's why we have another day, there's another opportunity. That's why there's free will. And I just think that we've all got to. I think the number one thing that's killing people is hypocrisy. Right? Like, every problem comes down to hypocrisy. You can't hold other people to a standard you don't hold yourself to because that is the purest, Found, the purest form of hypocrisy. And if everybody held themselves to the standards that they hold everybody else to, we would be fine.
- [79:25]
Jimmy
We would. Yeah. You mentioned the daughters and, you know, speaking up for women and girls and sports and the obvious fact that boys and men should not be in women's sports. I will say it has been so frustrating for me working for the last 30 years in the sports world world and for all the men who, who know damn well from playing on the football field or whatever sport they're part of that. This is wrong.
- [79:59]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [80:00]
Jimmy
The infiltration of men and how we are being, you know, gaslit for saying, well, and like, why do you think so many men, big, strong, tough men have been silent about this issue even when they do have daughters?
- [80:20]
Dakota Meyer
I don't, I don't. I don't know.
- [80:22]
Jimmy
And I'm not asking to speak for everybody.
- [80:24]
Dakota Meyer
No.
- [80:24]
Jimmy
Because everybody's situation is different. But overall, I've been shocked at that.
- [80:30]
Dakota Meyer
So I think, I think here's. I think they're really smart at what's happening, you know, So I think, I think when you say something about it, especially obviously this is coming from. And again, Republicans and Democrats both have a lot of issues right now. Let's just, let's say it up front like, you know, but. But this is a. A Democratic aspect. Like, there's no conservatives and no Republicans chanting for this. So let's put this as a It is at that party issue. And now, to be fair, the Democrats, I do believe that, you know, you have to have both sides, because if not democracy doesn't work. But, but I, I think I'll say for me, I didn't speak up about it a lot because every time you brought it up, it's like, you're talking about a few, you know, like, they're so smart about this.
- [81:26]
Jimmy
They're so good.
- [81:27]
Dakota Meyer
They're so good at. Right. Like, why are you focused on this? You're talking about a few. And I think, you know, the United States of America was formed by 80 people standing up and believing out of 2.5 million, you know, Hitler, the Nazi party was started, you know, with less than 100, I think maybe 150, 200 people. It doesn't take many. And if we're silent long enough, it'll get to the point to where it gets. ISIS was started with. I mean, all these evil things were started by ideas that were cultivated and somebody didn't crush. And now to get rid of them, it's paid in blood, which will eventually be what happens if we don't stop some of this insanity. But I think for me, as a.
- [82:22]
Jimmy
Man.
- [82:25]
Dakota Meyer
I mean, there was a point in time that if I said anything like, you're homophobic, you're trans. Like they had a word. Especially, especially, like as a male and a white male and a white male, like, you couldn't say anything if you did anything. Like all they, I mean, all they had to do was say one or two things. You're homophobic or you're racist. And how do I, how do you argue that as a white male? How do you argue that? And, and so it's, it's like, no, like it's. But that was the hot topics. And I do think that they've. It's been used so much this. Now the bad part of it is, is it doesn't carry the weight that it did. And people are like, well, that's what you call everybody, you know, I mean, and so I think there was that piece of the fear of that. And you never wanted to fall in that category because to me, that those two things are evil. And I don't, I want to make sure I don't get into evil. But there's also right and wrong. And I know who I am, and I don't really need you to agree with it. But I, I think there was that aspect of, well, if you say something, you're going to be racist or you're going to be this. And I don't want to be associated with either one of those categories. So I think that was part of it. I do. I have watched this. You know, I don't see any women taking men's trophies.
- [83:59]
Jimmy
Correct.
- [83:59]
Dakota Meyer
I've never gone in a bathroom where there was a woman in there. Sage. I truly believe that every problem in the world right now is because of weak men. Every one of them can go back to it. You can't give me a scenario that doesn't go back to a weak man. And if we don't fix this and start policing our own. And it's because men have. They've stopped being what they need to be. And they just. They're trying to be who they want to be. And it's like. It's weird. I don't know. I don't understand it. But just. And I think I fell into this category a little bit after coming back. Just, you know, think. Making it about me. And. And I was broken. Like, I was drinking all the time. You know, I was still trying to figure out. My gosh, I just watched my whole team get killed and, you know, got. Got out of the military. I never thought I would get out. I love the Marine Corps and a lot of changes and just, you know, dealing with all of it and didn't know how to do it. And. But I, you know, obviously, my daughters, like, once I had them, it taught me a whole new perspective of. Of a standard. And so I think that we didn't say anything. I think that they don't say anything a lot because, A, they don't know that it's that big of a deal, and they haven't seen it unless they see it personally. But then, B, I just think that you. They turn it into this where you're homophobic or you're. You're one of. Whatever they. Whatever word they've got that's buzzing at that time.
- [85:37]
Jimmy
And it doesn't fear and. And. And it's legitimate. We have seen it way too many times, countless times, thousands, millions maybe, where people speak the truth in a kind way. And you're still canceled. Like, I. I absolutely get it. I will share this because, you know, as parents, we also are trying to protect our kids. And that's what I was trying to do when I was at ESPN and staying silent for so long. I needed that paycheck. I loved the job. I'd worked my whole life to get there. And if you speak up, you're giving it away. It is smarter to stay quiet. I Had a very prominent, prominent figure at ESPN who is still there. Very prominent. Write me, text me. During one of the times where I, you know, I guess said something that pissed people off. And he's like, why would you do this? This is not smart. Just stay quiet. And I remember being so disappointed in this man.
- [86:38]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [86:39]
Jimmy
Who actually could have stood up and said, she's right. Instead, let's stay in line when it's inconvenient.
- [86:48]
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Keep getting that.
- [86:48]
Jimmy
Check all the things. So weak. Men. Whatever. When I chose to flip it and said, enough. And the night before, my lawsuit against Dizzy and ESPN dropped, which was the last thing I ever wanted to do. But you push somebody into a corner for long enough and you never know. I went to each one of my kids and I told them what was going to happen the next day. And that. I mean, I was still on ESPN airwaves when I decided to sue the company that was paying me still. And each one of my kids received it differently. My son was in the middle of my two daughters. I was apologizing. I'm like, I'm sorry, what's going to come. You don't have to defend me. But, you know, freedom of speech and diversity of thought is the most important thing, buddy. So we can disagree. My son looked at me and said, mom, it's about time you stood up for yourself. It broke me because I realized that in an effort to protect my kids, I was failing them. I was not practicing what I was preaching, and they saw it. So I am getting more comfortable sharing that story because I'm imploring parents in particular, parents, everybody. But if we are silent when it's freaking obvious about things like boys and girls, sports, whatever it is, we are teaching our kids to do the same thing, and we're all screwed. That was such a turning point in my life. And I knew, Dakota, that at that moment, even if I lost to Disney, David versus Goliath, all of it bleed me dry in literally five seconds financially.
- [88:30]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [88:31]
Jimmy
I was still going to win because my kids saw that I wasn't going to take it anymore. What a gift.
- [88:40]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [88:41]
Jimmy
In a. The scariest time of my life. So I thank you for seeing that, too.
- [88:47]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah. No, it's.
- [88:48]
Sponsor/Ad Voice
It.
- [88:48]
Dakota Meyer
It is. I mean, it is like. And what I do know is, is the pendulum always swings in this country. And I do know that when the pendulum swings back that, that, that. That the guns will turn. Right. It's okay. It's okay. Because what I have committed to is that no longer will I walk past the problem that I can fix. And no longer will I sit for things that I should stand for. No longer. And I don't care if it's at the expense of, like, I don't care if I have to go live out of a cardboard box and scrape pennies. I don't care. I. I have been willing to die for the best interest of people I didn't know in this country, and I will do it again, you know, without hesitation. And I think the only thing that we owe people in the world is to be who we say we are.
- [89:54]
Jimmy
Yes.
- [89:56]
Dakota Meyer
And so if that's who I'm going to go around and I'm going to get the respect from people because they believe I'm going to do that, I will no longer. And it's embarrassing to even say it, but I will no longer think of myself when the gun's pulled out. Like, I will think of what's right and what other people, because that, that will. The secondary and tertiary effects. What we're facing right now is because of. I mean, there are women out there. There are especially our. I think the two most valuable resources we have in this country are our children and our women. They're the. They are the most valuable resource that we have in this country, and they should be protected at all costs. And I do think that they are suffering out there right now because men didn't stand up, men didn't do what they were supposed to do, men didn't defend them. Men didn't stand in when things were. Now, I mean, it's gotten so crazy that you're watching women, like men, have even stopped fighting the fight to be in women's sports. They've now got women fighting that for them. Think about that. It is crazy. It's crazy, but it has to stop.
- [91:13]
Jimmy
How do we get men to be men again and lead in that way and protect?
- [91:20]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah. Well, I'll tell you what society has got to do first is you've got to be able to. You've got to be able to recover from mistakes. Because right now in society, you're. Whatever you're. You're always going to be remembered by your worst moment. You know what I mean? I mean, they, they find one negative thing, you can't come out and say, hey, I got this wrong. I mean, I think you can more today than you have been able to. But, you know, they. I think we've got to start with that. I think we've got to start with treating people how we want. I mean, it's. It's we got to get back to the basics. I do think one thing. I think men have got to start policing men. And I also. I face this, like, with my kids, like, societal laws. They're made for weaker men. And I'll give you an example. Do you know what the standard custody is for a man with, like, kids? It's like, every other weekend. They call it expanded standard. If you get them every other weekend and, like, plus a day, like, maybe like a third. It's. But it's very. It's not 50, 50 men are able to make money and pay for their kids. Like, we need men raising their children, helping out, not leaving. And some people get mad at me for saying this, especially women. I don't know why they take offense to this sometimes, but when I say we have a generation, the weakest generation of men today, because we've got. If I looked at you and said, I'm going to teach my daughters how to be women, you. I can see in your face, you're like, I can teach them to be good people. Yeah, but can I teach them to be women? There's no chance. Not if I'm being a man. We have the first generation of adults right now of men that were primarily raised by women. And so we're going to have to catch up, and we're going to have to. That's why you have such emotional men. And when I hear men say, like, the most disgusting. I've mentioned this a few times on podcasts. It just, like, takes my gut out of me whenever I hear when conditional men are dangerous men. Because we're naturally powerful. Yeah, I mean, naturally. And when they're conditional, they do what they want, when they want, when they feel like it. And that's when you start getting men going, well, I don't feel appreciated. Well, you weren't put on earth to be appreciated. You were put on earth to do a job, and that's to provide and to protect for society. And that doesn't mean when people want you to, when they appreciate you, when they thank you, you do it because it's the right thing to do. And it's principally sound. It's rooted in that. And I think that, you know, you've got men out there that don't understand that they're going to. They're going to do what they want. They're going to. And then even worse now is you've got. And I always tell it like. Like parents, fathers, if. If your first instinct when something's going wrong at your house is to call 91 1. All you're doing is outsourcing your number one responsibility to provide and protect that home. If you can't even defend your own people that live inside your house and take care of them, you're a failure. You're a failure because guess what? You have to pick UP and dial 91 1. And men like me have to come fix your problems. You're outsourcing the number one thing you do. You wonder why you're depressed. And you don't. You don't feel worth. Well, you. You. You can't even provide and do the basic fundamentals. And until we start holding that being the standard in our homes, well, then, you know, we're going to have a lot of problems. And I see it. I'm a firefighter. Like, I see it. I see people not wanting to run towards their homes, run towards the problem, but they're okay with other people doing it for them. And so we can't outsource this. And so when we talk about the fundamentals and the basics and, you know, we've got to get men back to being able to take care of their own problems and being able to at least do the basic fundamentals of providing and protecting.
- [96:48]
Jimmy
As a proud army brat of a retired army colonel father, a West Point graduate, you talk about a leader and an example that I had. Beautiful. And then through a lot of things, it's a story for another day off camera with you and I. But I've had to adjust now with this incredible husband that I have as a newlywed. Again, congratulations. Thank you. No, but it's. It was a requirement for me. I would have stayed single.
- [97:30]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [97:32]
Jimmy
To find a man who wanted to lead and wanted to protect.
- [97:39]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [97:40]
Jimmy
And I didn't realize how much I needed that. Even though I'm strong and I proved that I could do anything and everything alone. Big, strong, tough. I can carry my own suitcases. I can open my own door. I can support a family of five. I can pay for their educations. I could. I can do it all. And I was tired. Doesn't mean that I can't. But by the grace of God, I feel like I. I didn't find a man. God brought a man to me who wanted to lead in that way. And I literally cry several times a week because of this leader that I have. And he wants to.
- [98:19]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [98:20]
Jimmy
While uplifting me. And I think that's part of it is our own fault. Like, I'm taking accountability for allowing certain things for a really long time. And then it's like, nevermind, I'll just go do it. So as women.
- [98:32]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [98:33]
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Yes.
- [98:33]
Jimmy
You all need to be better. And you know what? Look in the mirror, ladies. We do too. And we have led the charge to make men smaller and make them feel badly if they did or didn't do, fill in the blank, any number of things. But we have taken that away from men. And you've allowed it to be taken away as well, like it is.
- [98:54]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [98:54]
Jimmy
We mean as if you 50.
- [98:56]
Dakota Meyer
Well, we started it. Right? And we started it. And I think this is the thing that men where it's. And that's where I think it started. You know, men, women are way like you said, like they can do anything a man can like up front. Like women are the most, you know, they're the most powerful creatures they were ever put on earth. And you can look back through history, you know, like if men think that their job or their ability to bring income or to do whatever they do around the house, if they think that that's their uniqueness, it's not. Because every time there was a war back when Vikings had to leave, guess who had to pick up the slack of everyday society? Yeah, women. World War II, you know what I mean? Like, our true value is to protect and provide. Right? Protect. But you can't provide if you can't protect. And so like, yeah, you might be able to provide financially, sure. But you can't provide a safe place for a woman, a family to grow up if you can't protect it. And what you have, if you can't protect it, somebody will take and it'll start with your peace. And that's the reality. And if you're not willing, if you're not willing to do conflict, like this is where like people, they look at me and they classify me. They're like, oh, you're extreme, you're right, you're right. And you're right, I'm very extreme. I am very rooted in principles and I, I will fight you as much as I will love you. And they will be equally as has extreme. And you know, and, and that's scary to a lot of people who don't, who aren't willing to do conflict. But what you're not willing to do conflict over people will take from you. It is if, you know, people think that laws and rules and policies and regulations and society is going to equal the playing field for people. People I say go to a elementary school playground and see who runs it. The kids that's willing to do conflict. Yeah, the Ones that's willing to do it, you know, and, and, and so I think that like, we've got to get back comfortable. But you have. You conflict without principles and intentions is dangerous. But no matter what the conflict you aren't willing to do, somebody will have to do. And I think that where men lost it is, you know, they, they stopped bringing value and, and doing their role with women. But I think that where women get mixed up on this some is they think that when you say protect and provide for a woman that they're not capable. And it's not that. It's not because they're weak. It's because they're valuable. And while I think that women should have absolutely equal rights to men, they should never be valued equally. And I think that's where they're hurting themselves, is they're wanting to get down in the weeds and bring. They're lowering their value to be valued at what a man is valued. And I do believe in the saying, and I think it got mixed up. Behind every good man is a great woman. And I know women look at that sometimes. I think, I think. I don't know what women think, but I just want to say it up front. But what I believe, they take that as sometimes as, oh, men have to. Men are, you know, men are worth more, more power, whatever it is. And it's not. You know, every house I went into in a gunfight, I. I wore armor to protect the valuable organs that were behind it that needed to live. And a man in front of. Behind every good man is a great woman because that man is there to protect, is the armor to protect what's valuable of society. Think about that. Women, they're smarter, they're more talented, they're all these things and it's proven. And I mean, if it wasn't the case, God would not have gave you all and like, made you. I mean, imagine a man trying to raise a kid and be responsible enough for nine months to raise a kid. It would never happen. We would be extinct. But women are that valuable and we must protect that resource. And I just think that men have. They become conditional and, and conditional is they do things when they want, when they feel like it, and nobody's holding them accountable. And I think that we've got to get back to that. And then it just turned into this vicious cycle of, you know, and they don't. I don't know, like, how do you. Not being able to. And I've had to learn this, like, up front and honest with you, like I've not always seen things this way. Right. Like, I have fell into these. These loops of society of. And it's because I was broken. Right. I was in no position to. To see things the way they were. I wasn't around the right people. I wasn't in the right relationships, you know, And. And. But I will tell you that I'm so thankful for the bad relationships that I got wrong because I've hurt women. Right. Like, there is no doubt out there that there are men paying for the consequences of me getting it wrong in a relationship, just like I think other men do, you know, and women do too. Right. And I think that we just have to always run through our mind to reprogram it. Did. Did the last person. Like, am I thinking this way because the last person did this, or did this person do this because.
- [105:00]
Jimmy
Wow.
- [105:01]
Dakota Meyer
The new relationship should not pay for the consequences of the old one.
- [105:10]
Jimmy
Yeah, a lot there. You know, this is what I have really had to dig deep on as well as a strong woman and leader, even though I didn't set out to be. You just had this dream and it turns into, you know, more with a lot more tentacles that I'm very grateful for. You know, be grateful for the good and the bad and the gray. But allowing men to lead does not make us weaker.
- [105:41]
Dakota Meyer
No.
- [105:41]
Jimmy
It makes us stronger and better. And I hope that we can help lead the way. Men and women, strong men and women who have figured this out and figured it out through trials and tribulations and then the willingness to share, like, when we can share our mistakes, that's when people grow. I said to my kids recently through, you know, the departure from espn, lawsuit and divorce and all these things, please don't waste my pain.
- [106:13]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [106:14]
Jimmy
And I don't mean to make it about me or dramatic, but like, we. I think every parent wants their kid to be better than them, make better decisions, not hurt as much, even though the hurt does help lead you to make other decisions, better decisions later. But please don't waste this. You know, our job is to not waste what Jesus did. And I feel like I have at times, you know. Yeah. I mean, we all have. We're human, but, like, the more. The longer we ignore that, the tougher life actually is. So I'm like, guys from Jesus number one. But take from me what I screwed up and waited too long to do. I'm taking the lesson from you, Nicholas, my son, who said it's about time he stood up. He was 17 when he told me that. Yeah, so. And again, like sharing our vulnerabilities, sharing our pain, sharing the embarrassment. That's where to me, that's where the, the win comes in. It's therapeutic. But when others realize, gosh, I screwed up and I did that too. Yeah, you're not alone.
- [107:23]
Dakota Meyer
No.
- [107:23]
Jimmy
And then it allows us to, like, heal sooner and help others maybe never have to go through it. Like, there's real magic there is it.
- [107:31]
Dakota Meyer
And that's the difference between education and knowledge. And I think we wrapped them both up in the same. You know, I think we got to be careful with that because the difference is, is like, I mean, I, I, I don't know, I could give an example of, say, a nurse or, I don't know, you could go and get a communication degree at college and you could know everything about how, I mean, take a show at espn. You could know everything about, you know, all the scripts, how everything works. Like, you could know how the whole show, show works because you did. You went to school for Brock, whatever it is. Right. Could you walk in the first day and be an expert at it?
- [108:14]
Jimmy
No way.
- [108:15]
Dakota Meyer
No. Even though you've got a 4.0, you could have a doctorate in it. Could you walk in the first day if you didn't have any experience, like, going and doing it?
- [108:26]
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Right.
- [108:26]
Dakota Meyer
If you only did the book work, you only did it in, in the controlled environment, could you walk in and do it?
- [108:32]
Jimmy
No way. No.
- [108:33]
Dakota Meyer
Because that's the difference between education and knowledge. And we have a generation of people that are the most educated you've ever seen. But education without knowledge is dangerous. And you've got to have knowledge. You have to go get in the ring. You have to go try it. You have to learn because you can't bring other people through it until you've actually learned how to do it. And, and I think that's just with everything in life. Like, you have to fail. But, but social media, but the way that, that, that really people are communicating now, text, email, there's really the accountability piece. You can hide and only show what you want to. You can really build the reality you want to in these echo chambers. And, you know, we've got to get back to, in person. We are more digitally connected than we've ever been, but we are more physically, mentally and emotionally disconnected and isolated than we've ever been. And we've got to get back to that. And I agree with you. I think that we've got to share our losses. You know, for me, like, I'm just a guy who, I love people with everything That I have. And I'm just a guy who's got it wrong. Right. Like, I'm just a guy who has failed more than most. And I. My, you know, I've been told once or twice that, like, you're just too dumb to know when to quit. And I think it's true. Right. I think that I'm just. I think that's part of it. And I think. But I use that to my benefit to hopefully get better. And, you know, I think living intentional and I think trying to get it right the next time is all we can do. But the lessons are in our failures, not in, you know, I mean, how many. Look at teams, how often do they come back to next year after winning a championship and win it again?
- [110:36]
Jimmy
It's hard. Hardest.
- [110:38]
Dakota Meyer
It's the hardest.
- [110:39]
Jimmy
Yeah.
- [110:40]
Dakota Meyer
And I think for all of us, when we're only talking about our good stuff and we're only like. It's like, no, we get better, you know, by talking about the hard stuff, you know, and. Because that's how you appreciate it. You know, There are no peaks without valleys.
- [110:54]
Jimmy
Yeah.
- [110:55]
Dakota Meyer
And. And we've got to be part of all of them.
- [110:59]
Jimmy
And we can survive the losses. It's actually important to look at it. And then you're on the other side, like, okay, that hurt. And I'm still here.
- [111:11]
Dakota Meyer
Not losing is losing in itself.
- [111:14]
Jimmy
Not losing is losing in itself.
- [111:16]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [111:18]
Jimmy
Because you were never able to learn the lesson that came from it. Right?
- [111:21]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah. Yeah. Not losing. You never tried.
- [111:26]
Jimmy
Yeah.
- [111:27]
Dakota Meyer
Like, not losing and not failing is failing and losing in itself because you don't appreciate a win without a loss.
- [111:36]
Jimmy
We started by talking about your little girls.
- [111:38]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [111:40]
Jimmy
And they're obviously your life, which I just. It's so refreshing to hear that father, daughter relationship is everything.
- [111:49]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [111:50]
Jimmy
I am almost 53 years old. By the time this airs, I'll be 53. And I call my mom and dad literally every day. That daddy daughter thing never goes away, even when you're old.
- [112:00]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah. Yeah. I hope it doesn't.
- [112:03]
Jimmy
Yeah. Well, you'll make sure that.
- [112:05]
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Yeah.
- [112:05]
Jimmy
No, if I know anything about you now, you will make absolute sure of that.
- [112:10]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [112:12]
Jimmy
What do you want them to take from you? All of you? Yes, of course. As a father and their leader and their hero. Like, that's the best thing is when I know that from calling my dad a hero and meaning it's.
- [112:27]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [112:28]
Jimmy
But about everything that you have been through and chosen to do. Chosen to get through.
- [112:35]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah. I think I just hope that they. I hope that they fight for what's right, number one. Yeah. I mean, I just want them to. I want them to. I want them to put service over self. I want them to serve the world. Right. People. I think people get that mixed up sometimes of, like, well, that's not. Like, the only way to truly serve the world is to put yourself first. Like, the only way I can be a good parent, like, when I wake up every day, like, I put myself. And this is gonna. This is gonna sound bad, but I put myself before my kids because if I'm good, my kids are great. And that's like. And. And the people that argue with me about that are the ones that don't want to sit here and look, they want to keep using their kids as an excuse for them not to get better. Right. I wake up every day and I put myself first because if I'm even halfway decent, my kids are going to be great. But if I'm terrible, my kid, it's at the expense of my kids.
- [113:52]
Jimmy
And what does that mean in the morning?
- [113:53]
Dakota Meyer
Well, it means that I. I get up before my kids, I go work out. I do the things that I have to do in order to make sure that I'm strong first and that I am good and that I. You know, it's not about this survivor thing. Right. Like, I have to first before being anything. I have to be an example to my kids. You know, I'll be the longest thing that dates my daughters and my daughters. I'm going to set the bar the highest of what a man should be for my daughters. And if I set that bar too low, it's at the expense of them for the rest of their lives.
- [114:35]
Jimmy
Forever.
- [114:35]
Dakota Meyer
Forever. And so, you know, that's in the back of my head who I surround myself with, like, people and. And I. I put every in. You know, people aren't as focused on this, but, like, everybody that comes around my kids, if I wouldn't want my. If it's a female, and I wouldn't want my daughters to be like them when they grow up. They don't have a spot in my life if it's a male. And I wouldn't want my daughters to marry somebody like that. They don't have a spot in my life. They have no place around because that circle and community becomes influence. And so for me, I just want my daughters to grow up and I want them. I want them to fight for what's right. I want them to be strong enough to fight for what's right. I want them to lead. I want them to be unconditional and principally sound. And I always. I always just want them to fight for the person that can't fight for themselves. I want them to always. I want them to be dealers of hope in every room they walk into.
- [115:44]
Jimmy
They are so blessed to have you. And it'll be really cool someday when they can, you know, comprehend that. And maybe they're beginning to. Based on the parents that other friends maybe don't have, you know?
- [116:00]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [116:01]
Jimmy
And it's. I'm not saying it's perfect.
- [116:02]
Dakota Meyer
No.
- [116:03]
Jimmy
And there's a lot. There's a lot that you're dealing with, but they. I can tell you from experience, they are so blessed to have you.
- [116:13]
Dakota Meyer
But that. That means a ton. You know, I think. I think when we talk about things like this, like, people sometimes watch this and they're like, oh, they think they've just got it all figured out. And it's like, it's not that. It's. I. What I do have figured out is what not to do and what not to be. And you say these things not from a place of authority or a place of being higher or better than anybody. You say these things from a place of, if you can figure it out faster than I did, you waste less days than I did.
- [116:51]
Jimmy
Yeah.
- [116:52]
Dakota Meyer
You know what I mean? And it's like. I think I walked outside my gym, probably. I have a gym on my property. And I walked outside my gym the other day, and the sun was rising, and I don't know why it hit me. It hit me probably a couple years ago, but it hit me again. And I just thought to myself, you know, the best days of my life aren't in front of me. They're right now. And the sooner we realize that the best days of our life are right now, the more best days of our life that we're going to have.
- [117:25]
Jimmy
I love that.
- [117:26]
Dakota Meyer
And it's so true. Right? Even if you're having a hard day, like, you got to be thankful for it. Because the older we get, the more things we experience, the less opportunity we have to struggle. And when we stop struggling, we stop learning, we stop growing, and we stop getting better, and we stop having more value to the world. And then not sharing our story and not being authentic and honest and transparent, we're robbing the world of the very lessons that we went through that it gave us to pass on to other people.
- [118:04]
Jimmy
Oh, yeah.
- [118:05]
Dakota Meyer
And we have to do that. Like, nobody's perfect. That's the one guarantee. Nobody's perfect. And here's the other cool Part is, is everybody's going through something.
- [118:14]
Jimmy
That's what I always say, everybody. And so when we're judging and even if someone's hurt you, it's not an excuse for bad behavior, but it might be a reason. And that allows us to forgive. Yeah, maybe a little sooner, even when we don't want to. And I can admit to that at times.
- [118:36]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah, right. And, and usually when we don't want to forgive. I'm going to give you this one. It's usually not the person that we're not forgiving, why we're not forgiving. It's something that we haven't dealt with in ourselves as to why we're not willing to let that go.
- [119:01]
Jimmy
So I can, I have your number and I can call you at these.
- [119:05]
Dakota Meyer
Moments because you're going to get it back. But it's, you know, you know, it's like that's usually what it comes down to. Is it, is it really what they did or is it, is it something that I haven't dealt with myself? Because you can't.
- [119:26]
Jimmy
And maybe, you know, well, you can't.
- [119:28]
Dakota Meyer
Forgive others until you forgive yourself.
- [119:29]
Jimmy
Oh, yeah, for sure, for sure.
- [119:33]
Dakota Meyer
And if you believe in God.
- [119:37]
Jimmy
And.
- [119:37]
Dakota Meyer
If God can forgive you, then who are you to not forgive yourself?
- [119:42]
Jimmy
You're doing the opposite of what he did for us and what he wants us to do for others. So we're actually in defiance of God when we choose to hold on to things.
- [119:54]
Dakota Meyer
And when you hold on to these things, are you helping or hurting the world? You know, and if you look at it, and I know it's so basic, and when you're not very smart, you have to keep things very, very, very, like, basic. But, but things are pretty simple. It doesn't mean they're easy, but things are pretty simple. Like if you take them and you keep them in context to whatever the situation is, things are pretty simple. And if you ask more questions and you make statements, it helps you with clarifying what needs to be done and it'll show you, you know, I think that's why they say, like, if you're still and quiet, you know, you'll see. And I think that's what it comes down to. You know, like life, while it's black and white, it's also multi dimensional. It's complex. But there's always right and wrong and there could be two rights in a situation. You know, if, if we're sitting here right now looking at this candle and I turn it and I'm like, oh, there's A label on that candle and you're looking at it, you're like, no, there's not. Yes, there is. Well, what are we trying to accomplish out of it? We both see the candle, but if you come over here and stand on my side, you'll see that there's a label. And if I come stand on your side, I'll see that there's not. It could just be from where we're standing, that perspective. Yeah.
- [121:26]
Jimmy
Yeah. I am so grateful for you. I always was. From a distance.
- [121:33]
Dakota Meyer
But thank you.
- [121:34]
Jimmy
So much better.
- [121:35]
Dakota Meyer
Thank you.
- [121:36]
Jimmy
And thank you for loving people the way that you do and for, like, choosing to lead even in times where you never would have wanted to be in the situation, to have to make the choice, but by. By doing it and by sharing it.
- [121:55]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [121:56]
Jimmy
You know, you are changing lives and saving lives. And I'm so grateful for you.
- [122:00]
Dakota Meyer
I hope so. That means a lot.
- [122:02]
Jimmy
You are.
- [122:02]
Dakota Meyer
You're a rock star. It was so awesome getting to see you at Tulsi's. I've always wanted to. I wanted to come out here and sit down with you. Like, I. I mentioned it as soon as we left there, you know, because that was such a busy day. But, yeah, no, I watched. I watched. You know, Tulsi was so excited to come to your wedding.
- [122:18]
Jimmy
It, like, honors.
- [122:19]
Dakota Meyer
You're just crushing it.
- [122:20]
Jimmy
I. Well, not.
- [122:22]
Dakota Meyer
You are. You are. You're doing great.
- [122:26]
Jimmy
I'm taking chances that I never would have dreamt of. And that's super cool. Like, when you get out of your comfort zone, which, hello, this is certainly perspective. This is nothing. And I'm not. It doesn't always have to be comparison. I'm not trying to do that. But it is how we keep. Maintain perspective.
- [122:43]
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Right.
- [122:44]
Jimmy
It's like, okay, like you said, this is never going to be as bad as that day. Nothing you go through will probably be as bad, hopefully as that day. So that. That allows perspective. And it's like, okay, that can suck.
- [122:57]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [122:58]
Jimmy
Five minutes, couple hours, couple days, depending on what it is.
- [123:02]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [123:02]
Jimmy
And then what? Then it's a choice.
- [123:04]
Dakota Meyer
And then what? Yeah, I mean, look at you, right? Like, if you'd stayed where you were at, the world wouldn't have got to know who you were and that we all get to see and know now. And I do believe that that would have been robbing the world of a lot of good that you could do and that you're going to do. And so, like, while it. Again, it's a. It couldn't imagine how hard it was, but I do think that the world is better now because of that struggle that you went through in that choice that you made.
- [123:43]
Jimmy
Once we realized it's bigger than us. That's the cool part.
- [123:47]
Dakota Meyer
That's the cool part.
- [123:48]
Jimmy
And my kids, they got the gift of my. Whatever that was. And again, by talking about this stuff, and so many people are like, tight, and it's embarrassing or it's hard, or we don't want to think about it and get emotional about it. It's like, I don't know. It's okay. It's okay.
- [124:08]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah. And emotions and stress is just a symptom of you caring.
- [124:15]
Jimmy
And that's care so much, so deeply.
- [124:17]
Dakota Meyer
And that's a good thing.
- [124:18]
Jimmy
It is.
- [124:19]
Dakota Meyer
If we lose that, well, and that's. That's it. Right. And. And when you numb people, when you silence people, you take away the thing that makes us different than animals, and that's emotions and that's caring. And, you know. Yeah. I mean, if it's hard, then it means you care, you know, I mean, if it's. If it's. It's just. And guess what? And at the. At the end of the day, if the worst quality you have is caring.
- [124:55]
Jimmy
Yeah.
- [124:56]
Dakota Meyer
Well, you're crushing it.
- [124:58]
Jimmy
Yeah. Life is good.
- [124:59]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah, life is good.
- [125:02]
Jimmy
You know, your daughters are screwed with the dating world because no boy is going to want to come knock on your door.
- [125:10]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah.
- [125:11]
Jimmy
You realize what you're doing to them, which is good in many ways. And that bar is to be so high.
- [125:16]
Dakota Meyer
I hope so. You know, I mean, I hope so. They're. They're good. They're good girls. Like, they're smart. I just want the best for them, you know? And I want them to be good people in the world. I want them to. I want them to be good people in the world, you know, I mean, think about how many people your kids are going to touch throughout their life. If you can just make your kids good. If everybody just made their kids good, the problem would be fixed.
- [125:47]
Jimmy
We are not where we are today. That had been the goal, 100%. What's the box, the four corners?
- [125:53]
Dakota Meyer
To be a leader, to be strong, to be kind, and to be respectful. And every decision, action, like, has to fit in that box. So, like, she. She brought home and said that this kid had. Was being real mean to her. And so I don't know if she, like, I don't know if she pushed her or what it was, but. Or something. And I was like, you can't do that. And that's not right. And she's like, well, dad, you. You told me to stand up for myself, and I did. I'm like, okay, well, now we gotta, like, we gotta dial this in a little bit. Like what standing up for yourself is. And I was like, you know, what if. Okay, is that kind? Nope. Is that respectful? Nope. Is that being a leader? Nope. I said, what if everybody does that?
- [126:39]
Jimmy
What do we have?
- [126:40]
Dakota Meyer
And I said, so what could you do that fits in the box? And she's like, well, I could tell her that this bothered me and this is why it bothered me. And if it happens again, I'm not going to play with her. And I'm like, 100%. I said, because real quick, we don't let who we are be based off of who somebody else is. We'll be who am I right? Is. And no matter what. And that's what you have to stick to. Even if people treat you bad. Because if we all always got what we deserved, we would be screwed. I mean, think about that. If. If every time we cut a shortcut or we Every time we didn't do what we said we were going to do. If every single time, every moment, we always. Like, that's why when people are like, oh, I didn't get what I deserved. And I'm like, okay, so you always want what you deserve. Every time you go over the speed limit, you get a ticket. Every. You know, I mean, like. I mean, think about it.
- [127:35]
Jimmy
Good point.
- [127:36]
Dakota Meyer
Every, every time. Like, it's either all. All in or all out. You don't just get what you deserve when you want it. Yeah. You can't pick and choose 24, 7. You get what you deserve. Nobody.
- [127:47]
Jimmy
Oh, that's. Yeah, it's a great point. Just because I do have a lead foot.
- [127:51]
Dakota Meyer
Yeah, same.
- [127:52]
Jimmy
I deserve to be imprisoned for my speed limit violations.
- [127:55]
Dakota Meyer
We. I should be walking. You know what I mean?
- [127:58]
Jimmy
Same exactly.
- [127:59]
Dakota Meyer
But, you know, it's like, it's good. It's good, you know, And I think. I think we're gonna be fine, though. Like, I believe. I believe people are good. And I will, you know, I don't care what people say. I believe people are good. And I keep spending time with them all the time, you know? So I'm like, either I just find all the good people or most people are good. Yeah.
- [128:21]
Jimmy
God bless you.
- [128:22]
Dakota Meyer
Thank you for having me.
- [128:22]
Jimmy
Thank you so much.
- [128:24]
Dakota Meyer
I appreciate it. Thank you.
- [128:42]
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