Transcript
Lewis Howes (0:00)
Welcome back, my friend. I'm excited about today's episode. It is all about 13 different ways you can start building a stronger, happier, healthier relationship today. And I've got my wife on Martha I. Guerrera. How's in the house? I'm excited. We break down one of our favorite books because a lot of people have been asking us, now that we're married, now that we have a baby on the way, a lot of people are asking us, how did you get into your relationship? How did you create a foundation for your relationship? You know, how did you eliminate challenges and adversities that were unnecessary early on in the relationship? All these different things. And I preface this by saying, in no way have we been married for 20 years and have all the answers. We are not this relationship expert couple coming out here talking about how we coach people on this.
Martha I. Guerrera (0:52)
This.
Lewis Howes (0:52)
This is our own personal experience, and this is a process that we went through. We went through years of almost every single month doing some type of workshop together, some type of therapy, coaching, reading a book, and really diving in into the uncomfortable conversations in a conscious way about our values, about our vision, about our lifestyle. And even then, it doesn't mean we're going to have a perfect relationship and there's not gonna be some type of challenges or adversities that we need to face head on. But we have created such a solid foundation to this point to be able to have peace rather than daily stress. Whereas in my previous relationships, I had daily stress and once in a blue moon, peace. And I don't know if you have ever experienced that in a relationship before, or maybe you're struggling in a relationship right now and you're just trying to figure out, how can we create more harmony together as a unit, as a team, as a couple, if you're dating, if you're married, whatever it might be, how can we create more unity, harmony, and love together? And this book is called 13 Things Mentally Strong Couples don't do by Amy Marin, is something that we break down in today's episode. It's one of the books we went through. We went through many different books because we love these type of books. As we started dating, because it forced us to ask the tough questions up front, not just, oh, let's have fun and just, you know, hang out and, you know, be connected to each other and go on trips and have this honeymoon phase. But within the first week, we were talking about some of the challenging conversations that struggle within relationships if you don't address them and create conscious agreements, conversations around Money, around family, around kids, around religion, around past history, around future dreams, around all these different things. So values, vision and lifestyle, these things need to match up and at least be in alignment or you at least need to be willing to accept the other person's value, vision and lifestyle. And they need to be in alignment with you so they work and mesh as a unit and as a new family. If you're building a relationship, getting married, you are starting a new family and essentially leaving your old family of origin, you're creating a new family together. And it takes you creating those shared values and having uncomfortable yet very conscious conversations to create agreements of the marriage or the relationship you're looking to create together. And again, just because you do all these things doesn't mean you're not going to have some type of challenges. So we are not some, you know, 30 year therapist, relationship coach, experts here giving you, you know, research that we've gone through personally and coached all these people. That's not what this is. But this is our understanding of what we've been through to create harmony and peace and a beautiful relationship for us where every day we look at each other, I kid you not, every day, even if we have some argument or disagreement or whatever it might be, every day we're able to share appreciation and gratitude for one another and come back to that, those foundations, those agreements. And so we talk about why mentally strong couples don't ignore their problems and how to confront challenges with love, with compassion. Now listen, I'm, you know, I'm an impatient human being by nature. And so I've had to condition and train myself to listen better, to be more patient, to do all these things. And it's been a beautiful process. And in doing so, you have to learn how to transform your inner world, which is not easy all the time to improve, to serve the unit, to serve the relationship, to serve the family in a way where it needs it the most. That means leading yourself to lead the relationship. We talk about the importance of developing healthy relationship habits before issues arise again. Me and Martha were going to therapy in the beginning of our relationship. Not because something was wrong or broken or there was problems, it was the opposite. It was going amazing. And I said, you know what, I want to keep the amazing going, I want to keep the healthy conversations going. So let's proactively go to therapy together just to figure out future. How can we navigate stresses, adversities, challenges together and when stress or adversity arises, because it will, whether it be internally or externally, how are we going to face it together and it doesn't mean again that it's some perfect way of navigating challenges every single time these things arise. But we have a foundation of shared conversations and shared agreements and I think at the end of the day that alone makes us mutually respect and appreciate, respect and appreciate one another for being willing to do that work. Early on we talk about all these things and more. I'm very excited about it. I hope you enjoy this episode. If you can please share it with a couple of your friends, whether it be a friend of yours that you know is in a relationship, share it with your partner and listen to these different practices as well and go back and forth and talking about them together in your relationship. If you have couples that you know who are friends of yours, send it to your couple friends and say, hey, I would love your thoughts on this episode with Lewis Howes and Martha about 13 ways you can start building a strong relationship today. I'm very excited. I hope you enjoyed this. Let's go ahead and dive in. Everyone's favorite serial killer is back in the new series Dexter Resurrection now streaming on Paramount. Michael C. Hall returns as the iconic Dexter Morgan and he's ready to take a slice out of the Big Apple. No New York City. He may have found a new zip code to call home, but Dexter's code never changes. There are plenty of monsters in NYC to keep his dark passenger very satisfied with a killer cast including Uma Thurman, Jack Alcott, David Zayas, James Remar and Peter Dinklage. Dexter Resurrection New series now streaming on the Paramount plus Premium Plan Are you ready to level up your business? Intuit QuickBooks has got your back. 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