Lewis Howes (2:50)
They give all their time, they give their energy, they give their attention. But when it comes to themselves, they're running on empty. They're feeling burnt out, they're feeling overwhelmed, they're feeling exhausted, they've lost their health, and they've lost who they truly are. And here's what I've learned over the years. Becoming the best version of yourself isn't about big, dramatic overhauls. Actually, it's about small, daily actions that you practice consistently, even when no one is watching. And today I'm sharing nine things you rarely do for yourself but you should be doing every single day if you want more clarity, if you want more confidence, and if you want more control over your life. My name is Lewis Howes. Thank you so much for being here. And the first thing you need to start with is to start your day without reaching for your phone. And this is a big one. And listen, I have been to blame for this many times in my life. But the first thing that most people do every single morning is hand their attention over to someone else. And when you do this, you exhaust yourself and you lose yourself. You hand yourself over to the attention of emails, messages, news, social media, and what other people want from you. And what most people don't realize is that your attention is your most valuable resource. It is because whatever you give your attention to is what shapes your mood, your thoughts, and your identity for the rest of the day. And again, I have been guilty of this, and it's something that I have to constantly remind myself to do. But when you wake up and you immediately reach over for your phone, you're letting the outside world set your emotional state. It's setting you up for failure because you're reacting before you've even had a chance to choose, to choose what you want to do that day. And other people's urgency becomes your priority. Other people's opinions becomes your focus. And other people's problems, well, those problems become your stress. And they become your stress the first thing in the morning, before you even allowed yourself to. To wake up, to give yourself a routine, to just respond to, saying, wow, I'm awake in this world. Let me take a moment to ground myself. So the challenge I have for you is instead of giving the first 10 minutes of your day to other people or the first hour to other people, give that first 10 minutes back to yourself. No phone, no input, just you. And I want you to do a couple of things. I want you to breathe deeply, take some Deep breaths and just say thank you for another day, for another opportunity at this life. I want you to stretch a little bit. Just stretch your arms, stretch your fingers, stretch your toes, stretch your body. I want you to pray and say, grateful for the things that you are grateful for. Talk about those things. Pray, say, where do you need me to be today? I want you to meditate. I want you to set an intention how you want to show up today. Choose you on how you want to show up today. Because how you start your day trains your nervous system for everything that follows throughout your day. So the first thing is to start your day without reaching for your phone. The second thing is to move your body on purpose, even if it's short. You, you don't need a perfect workout. You just need consistency. And one of the biggest lies people believe is that exercises only counts if it's this intense two hour grind at the gym or if it's long. Or you can impress people on Instagram with it. But that's not the case. Movement isn't about looking a certain way. It's about regulating your nervous system. It's about building confidence. It's about clearing energy, it's about cleansing yourself. When you clear the mental fog, you can help restore energy in your life. So move your body every day. Whether that's a walk, you lift something, you stretch, you breathe deeply. Even 10 minutes a day can count in a big way. 10 minutes a day movement is one of the fastest ways to build self respect. You really build this, like, belief in yourself. After you work out, you're like, man, I can do something hard, I can work out, I can move. I push myself a little bit. Because every time you move, even when it's short, you're telling your body, I'm listening, I care about you. I'm showing up for you. And you're telling your future self that you respect where you're going. Because consistency beats intensity. And you don't have to be, again, extreme and exhaust yourself, but just show up and be consistent and move your body. End of thing number two is to move your body on purpose, even if it's short. Number three, do one hard thing that you've been avoiding. I don't know about you, but I used to really hate having hard conversations with people that I cared about. I just, man, I would dread it. I would sweat thinking about it. I would get anxious and overanalyzed. Like, how am I going to say this thing? How do I bring this up without offending someone or hurting someone? And I would Just avoid these things. And the avoiding would create such stress in my body that I was constantly neglecting myself, I was abandoning myself by trying to avoid having hard conversations with people. And confidence doesn't come from affirmations, it comes from action, not from avoiding the hard conversation. Specifically the action that you keep putting off every day. I need you to ask yourself, what is one uncomfortable thing that would move my life forward? What is that uncomfortable conversation? What is that call that I need to make? What is that message I need to send? What's the conversation? What is the action step at work I need to do that's going to put something forward rather than hold me back. Because the longer you avoid it, the bigger the problem becomes. And man, it eventually will explode in your face if you keep avoiding it. Avoidance also quietly drains your energy. It creates this background stress in your life that's just like this noise that's kind of like this low scream in your ears. And the longer you wait, the more you avoid, the louder that scream gets. It erodes self trust, self belief, self respect. It just sucks it out of your being. And again, one of the biggest things that holds people back from accomplishing what they want is a lack of self belief. So when you constantly do things to avoid hard things, you're going to limit your self belief in the future. And one hard thing a day, one thing today, it will compound faster than motivation ever will. Discipline is a form of self care because it builds self trust. And over time, you stop seeing yourself as someone who avoids discomfort and start seeing yourself as someone who can handle it, as someone who loves it. This changes everything. Do one hard thing you've been avoiding today. This is the third thing. And if you do this, I'm telling you, you will be like a magnet for opportunities because you'll have clean energy, you'll be taking on the things that you are stressing about and you'll be owning them. You'll actually be excited to have these conversations in the future. I know it seems crazy, but you'll be saying to yourself, man, I can't wait to have this conversation because I'm going to build more self belief. I'm going to have a clearing conversation with this person. We're going to get clarity on what needs to move forward. And sure, there might be some discomfort or stress in the meantime, but you're going to have peace and freedom on the other side of it. So do one hard thing you've been avoiding today. Check in with your emotions, not just your to do list. Because most people track their to do list. But very few people track their inner state of being and there's a massive difference here. I like to ask a question to a lot of guests on the School of Greatness podcast. Maybe you've noticed this in the previous interviews where I say, on a scale of 1 to 10, your inner peace scale. You know, 1 being you have no inner peace, 10 being you are like a Zen master at the moment and nothing phases you. Where are you along this scale of inner peace? And it's fascinating to hear the responses of people on what number they are from 1 to 10? I'd love to hear your number. Feel free to put it in the comments below. Again, do you feel like you're a two through a five? We're just a lot of stress in your life right now, or do you feel like you're 6, 7, 8 where you're starting to get a hold of things and you can manage what's happening and it doesn't really phase you that much? I'm curious where you're at on this inner peace scale because few people track their inner state of being. And that's a problem in my mind because emotions don't just disappear when you ignore them or when you sweep things under the rug. They don't go away. They go underground and they show up later as burnout, frustration, anger, exhaustion, rage, anxiety, loneliness, depression. So at least once a day, pause and ask, what am I feeling right now? I want you to name it. I don't want you to judge yourself. I want you to name it and just say, I'm feeling overwhelmed. I'm feeling stressed. I'm feeling scared. I'm feeling just a little annoyed right now. I'm feeling impatient. And I don't want you to fix it. I just want you to name it. Don't judge it, because awareness prevents burnout. Just you being aware of what's going on in your mindset and your emotions. It helps you from just numbing it and going through the motions or sweeping it under the rug. This will support you on your growth and this is how you stay connected to yourself instead of just operating on autopilot like most of the world does. Because high performers don't ignore their emotions, they learn to regulate them. In fact, when I asked a neuroscientist and brain surgeon on the show what is the number one skill that all human beings should master, he said, learning the art of emotional regulation. Now, this is a brain surgeon who's worked on a thousand brains surgery and a neuroscientist studying the mind. He said emotional regulation was the number one skill that human beings should master to have a healthier, happier, more thriving life. Yet most people never learn how to regulate. We don't learn this skill growing up. Unless you had some super conscious parents that taught this to you all the time. Most of us never learned this. And this is not us to blame our parents for them not giving us this gift. But we need to master this now. And this is why I have the school of greatness. This is why I sit down with people who are experts on this topic, so that I can continue to learn and hopefully share that wisdom with you again. The strongest people aren't the ones who suppress how they feel. They're the ones who are honest enough to face their feelings. Checking in with your emotions isn't weakness, it's actually leadership. Because you start with acknowledging what's going on within yourself. And when you understand your inner state, you make better decisions on the outside of your environment. And you can truly see what's happening with people around you. And when you understand and can acknowledge what's happening with people around you, that's called leadership. That's another level of being able to hopefully connect with people in a different way.
