Summary of "Gabby Bernstein: The 4 Step Process To Manifest Anything & Heal Your Deepest Wounds"

Podcast: The School of Greatness
Host: Lewis Howes
Guest: Gabby Bernstein
Release Date: January 1, 2025

In this inspiring episode of The School of Greatness, host Lewis Howes welcomes the renowned motivational speaker and author, Gabby Bernstein. The discussion centers around Gabby's groundbreaking book, "Self Help: This is Your Chance to Change Your Life," which introduces a transformative four-step process designed to help individuals manifest their desires and heal deep-seated emotional wounds.

1. Understanding Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy

Timestamp: 12:00

Gabby Bernstein delves into the fundamentals of Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy, a modality developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz. IFS posits that every individual comprises multiple "parts" or subpersonalities, each with its own perspectives, memories, and roles. These parts often fall into three categories:

• Exiles: Young, traumatized parts that hold emotional pain.
• Managers: Protective parts that attempt to control daily life to prevent the exiles' pain from resurfacing.
• Firefighters: Reactive parts that attempt to extinguish emotional distress as it arises, often through impulsive or destructive behaviors.

Gabby emphasizes that healing involves recognizing and harmonizing these parts, allowing the individual's true self—referred to as "Self"—to lead the internal system.

Notable Quote:

"We all have an inner parent inside of us... It's your essence. It's the spirit of who you are."
– Gabby Bernstein [25:22]

2. The Four-Step Manifesting Process

Timestamp: 39:19

Gabby introduces a four-step process outlined in her book, designed to help individuals address and transform the limiting beliefs that hinder their ability to manifest their desires. This process is IFS-informed but tailored for self-help rather than clinical therapy.

Step 1: Choose to Check In

• Description: Recognize and consciously decide to engage with the part of yourself that is causing stress or limiting your potential.
• Example: Gabby shares how she identifies the "controller" part that becomes anxious when things aren't going as planned.

Notable Quote:

"The choice is itself a quality, but the part has to make the choice."
– Gabby Bernstein [42:29]

Step 2: Become Curious

• Description: Approach the triggered part with curiosity rather than judgment. Observe its feelings, thoughts, and physical sensations.
• Example: When Gabby's controller part is activated, she asks questions to understand its needs and origins, such as recalling a childhood memory of controlling her hair to feel safe.

Notable Quote:

"It's about bringing self to these parts... to understand how to believe."
– Gabby Bernstein [24:03]

Step 3: Extend Compassion

• Description: Foster a compassionate connection with the part, acknowledging its efforts to protect you despite its potentially harmful methods.
• Example: Gabby speaks to her younger self, offering understanding and love, thereby unburdening the wounded part.

Notable Quote:

"No, no, no, the life you're experiencing is a result of the roles that you play... Imagine you're an internal parent."
– Gabby Bernstein [14:57]

Step 4: Check for C Qualities

• Description: Assess whether qualities such as Compassion, Calmness, Curiosity, and Creativity are present after engaging with the part. These qualities indicate the presence of Self.
• Example: After completing the check-in process, Gabby feels more connected, calm, and clear, signifying the successful harmonization of her parts.

Notable Quote:

"Even if you just get to check in, to choose to check in just even the decision to check in for two seconds is the check in process."
– Gabby Bernstein [46:50]

3. Real-Life Applications and Personal Examples

Timestamp: 40:22

Gabby and Lewis share personal anecdotes illustrating the effectiveness of the four-step process. Gabby recounts how applying these steps helped her manifest a perfect hotel stay in Los Angeles by calming her controlling part and allowing solutions to flow naturally. Similarly, Lewis discusses overcoming his own internal conflicts during a live event mishap, demonstrating how embracing Self energy enabled him to handle the situation gracefully without reverting to frustration or blame.

Notable Quotes:

"Self is always been there... It's the presence of that sun that you live in."
– Gabby Bernstein [27:06]

"I just say, it's going to be okay... I'm here to serve."
– Lewis Howes [65:08]

4. The Role of Self in Leadership and Relationships

Timestamp: 77:18

The conversation highlights how accessing and nurturing the Self not only transforms individual lives but also enhances leadership and relationships. Gabby stresses that leaders embodying Self energy can inspire and guide others more effectively, fostering environments of compassion and creativity. In relationships, both personal and professional, harmonizing internal parts leads to deeper connections and mutual support.

Notable Quote:

"When two safe humans come together, magic can happen."
– Lewis Howes [60:34]

5. Impact on Global and Societal Levels

Timestamp: 79:04

Gabby extrapolates the personal benefits of IFS and the four-step process to a broader societal context. She envisions a world where individuals healing their internal wounds collectively reduce global conflicts, wars, and societal issues. By fostering internal harmony, people can interact with greater compassion and understanding, paving the way for a more peaceful and cooperative world.

Notable Quote:

"How we heal ourselves impacts how we interact with the world."
– Gabby Bernstein [79:04]

Conclusion and Takeaways

Gabby Bernstein's episode on The School of Greatness offers a profound exploration of manifesting desires through deep internal healing. By understanding and harmonizing the various parts of oneself using the four-step IFS-informed process—Choose to Check In, Become Curious, Extend Compassion, and Check for C Qualities—listeners are equipped with practical tools to overcome limiting beliefs and traumas. The personal stories shared by Gabby and Lewis underscore the transformative power of Self energy in both personal growth and overarching societal harmony.

Final Notable Quote:

"The life you're experiencing is a result of the roles that you play... You deserve to feel the greatness that is inside of you."
– Lewis Howes [02:20]

For those seeking to unlock their inner greatness and manifest their dreams, Gabby Bernstein's insights provide a compassionate and actionable roadmap.