← The School of Greatness
The School of Greatness
How To Overcome Your Past To Manifest Your Ideal Future
01:03:39
Three transformation experts—Dr Joe Dispenza, Gabby Bernstein, and Eric Thomas—reveal powerful techniques to break free from past limitations and actively manifest your desired future. Learn their practical methods for emotional healing, taking radical responsibility, and creating harmony between your wounded parts and future self to unlock your life's greatest potential.
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- [00:00]
Lewis Howes
I have a brand new book called Make Money Easy and if you're looking to create more financial freedom in your life, you want abundance in your life and you want to stop making money hard in your life, but you want to make it easier, you want to make it flow, you want to feel abundant, Then make sure to go to make moneyeasybook.com right now and get yourself a copy. I really think this is going to help you transform your relationship with money this moment. Moving forward, we have some big guests and content coming up. Make sure you're following and stay tuned to this episode on the School of Greatness. This podcast is sponsored by Northwestern Mutual. Everyone wants to feel good about their finances, right? Well, that's why I've had life insurance with Northwestern Mutual for years. Their financial professionals ask the right questions, truly listen, and help uncover opportunities most people miss. I've seen it firsthand. Northwestern Mutual has been a part of my journey from the very beginning, providing the security and peace of mind I need as a human and an entrepreneur. Find a better way to money@n m.com the Northwestern Mutual Life Insurance Company Milwaukee, Wisconsin paid testimonial by a Northwestern Mutual policy owner.
- [01:24]
Gabby Bernstein
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- [01:47]
Eric Thomas
Not all purchases will be approved.
- [01:48]
Gabby Bernstein
Terms apply. Learn more@american express.com AmEx Business.
- [01:56]
Lewis Howes
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- [02:46]
Joe Dispenza
I think that, you know, we live in chronic disbelief. What if the truth was that you're greater than you think, more powerful than you know, more unlimited than you could ever dream? If that was the truth, that you are the creator of your life, you have to start. If you believe that to be the truth, then you have to believe in yourself. And your belief in yourself must be earned. It must be earned. And the only way that we can believe in a future is when we feel the emotion associated with it. Because if you feel the emotion associated with it, your body is your unconscious mind. It's so objective, it does not know the difference between the real life experience that's creating that emotion and the emotion that you're creating by thought alone. And so you're giving your body a taste emotionally of the future. And the stronger the emotion you feel, the more you remember that future. And you literally are embossing the circuitry for you to believe in it more. So if we default and become the victim of our life and we say that some person or some circumstance or some condition is causing me to feel this way and to think this way, the moment we become angry or frustrated or guilty or unworthy or afraid or anxious, we can't believe in that future any longer. Those emotions are associated with past memories. And those emotions cause us to behave as if we were in our past, make choices that are equal to our past, and believe in our past. And more people believe in their past than they believe in their future. And it's so much easier to forget your vision of the future than to remember it. And so if that's the truth, then if you understood that this emotion that you're feeling is really a creative emotion, living in fear and living in anger and living in hostility and hatred and judgment and resentment, that has nothing to do with your future. It has everything to do with the past. And so the problem is that we get addicted to those emotions that keep us connected to the past. And there's a story that goes with that past. And so many people believe in that story. And why not believe in a different story? And it usually takes crisis or trauma or disease or diagnosis or loss for people to finally make up their mind to change. But that default that takes place so seamlessly when we feel the emotions of our past causes us to think the same way, to act the same way, and to feel the same way. And how you think, how you act and how you feel is called your personality. And your personality creates your personal reality. That's it. That's it. So the present personality, who's sitting Here today called you, has created the present personal reality called your life. That's the truth. So if you wanted to create a new personal reality, a new life, you would have to change your personality. And the first step in that is becoming conscious of your unconscious thoughts. Those thoughts that say, I can't, it's too hard, I'll never change, it's my ex's fault. It's, you know, whatever, you know, it's all, yeah. Or if you really, truly wanted to be a happy person, you would have to stop complaining, you would have to stop blaming, you'd have to stop allowing your environment to control how you're feeling and thinking and, and if you truly wanted to become a new personality, you would have to decide that the emotion of lack cannot belong in an abundant person. This is where the rubber hits the road now, because how could you believe in a future that you haven't seen yet? And the end product of an experience in three dimensional reality is called an emotion. And so most people wait for their wealth to feel abundant. They're waiting for their new relationship to feel love, their, they're waiting for their success, to feel empowerment, they're waiting for their healing, to feel wholeness or gratitude. That's the old model of reality. So you got to trade that emotion of your past and that story's got to go with it. And when you overcome your emotions, you master your creations and that's freeing the body from the past. So the person who wants to become wealthy, they got a romance wealth, romance it, they have to romance it. And you have to start thinking about how a wealthy person would think, how a wealthy person would act, how a wealthy person would feel. And you would have to become that personality. And that personality really should begin to create some change in your personal reality. You know, the synchronicities that are not just parking spaces, you know, not that stuff, but the bigger stuff that would stretch your belief so that when you see the synchronicity, all of a sudden you're like, oh my God, I created that. Is that possible that I actually created that? Now you start believing more that you're the creator of your reality instead of the victim of your reality. And that's the truth. And you cannot experience that truth unless you step in the realm of creation. And in order for you to arrive at that wealth, you have to make a very clear decision that that person who wants the wealth and who is in lack of having it is going to have to make a lot of changes to finally run into that goal or vision of Their wealth. You can't create a new personal reality as the same personality. You got to, you got to become someone else. That means you got to give up some aspect of those unconscious thoughts, behaviors and emotions that are programmed because we do them so much and think that way. And that's the hard part of change. And people do the work. I want to be really clear. They don't do the meditations to heal. They do the meditations to change. And understand that when I change, my body will change, my life will change. That's the experiment they're involved in. So this energy, this feeling that you have, the fundamental question is, when you leave this place, can you take it with you every day? Could you remember this feeling and could you bring it up on your own? Ah, now you're becoming the creator of your life. Because now you'll believe more in that future and less in your past. And then you'll default, just like we all do. But how many times do you have to forget until you stop forgetting and start remembering? That's called the moment of change. And that's catching yourself from defaulting seamlessly back to that old personality that has been programmed for us to be victims. That if you say to someone, why are you so unhappy? Why are you so mad? Why are you so angry? Oh, it's that person. It's that circumstance that's causing me to feel this way and think this way. Well, that's an unconscious program. A person is saying that someone in their outer world or some condition is controlling. It's controlling their feelings, controlling their thoughts. Anything that's controlling us, we're victims to. And that's got to change. So then to overcome victimization is worth more than all the wealth in the world. Because that's exactly what creates the wealth. That's exactly what creates the health. It's the overcoming process that is the becoming process. And that's how you arrive at that vision. And this energy is the energy that takes you there. And you gotta be able to bring that up on your own. That means you gotta come out of your resting state. And that when coming out of your resting state and not allowing or waiting for someone or something to do it for you, but doing it on your own, wow. There's sovereignty and there's empowerment in that. That's how any person arrives at their dream. They just don't let their energy drop. And if they do, they get back into that state again and they earn the belief in themselves.
- [11:37]
Lewis Howes
First off, what are the emotions of lack so that people can make A distinction and say, ah, don't think about lack. I'm not in lack. But maybe they are based on certain emotions. So what are the emotions that cause us to feel in our bodies lacking as opposed to abundant? And caveat. How much of those lacking emotions can we have on a daily basis and still be abundant?
- [12:03]
Joe Dispenza
That's a good question.
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Lewis Howes
I mean, is it 50% victimhood and we're still gonna be good? Is it angry 20% of the time? Is it like, how much, like how much wiggle room can we give ourselves grace? And still, I'm still gonna be able to get my dream. So what are the emotions of lack and how much time can we really allow ourselves to be in a state of frustration or sadness and still be abundant?
- [12:29]
Joe Dispenza
Yeah, I got it. But we create based on lack. We create based on separation. You see the sports car, you see the wardrobe, you see the scene, you see the vacation, and you see that experience that you want, your brain naturally goes, oh, God, that would be so wonderful to be in that reality, to be in that future based on the lack of not having it in the plane of duality and separation, that lack causes us to dream about having it. So the natural thing is to dream of a new possibility based on your understanding that you don't have that experience yet. You understand?
- [13:16]
Lewis Howes
Yes.
- [13:17]
Joe Dispenza
So then, now, that vision of that future, the brain naturally creates for the passionate person that vision where they're seeing that future. They put themselves in that future. And when they do that, they feel the emotion of that future, and they're actually doing that by thought alone. So once they feel the feeling of that future, they can believe in that future because they felt it.
- [13:46]
Lewis Howes
Interesting, right?
- [13:48]
Joe Dispenza
And they'll tell you, there's nobody or no one or no circumstances. I know that I could create that. And you've all done it. Everybody in this room has done something great. And you kept that vision alive in your mind. And you got your behaviors to match your intentions. You got your actions equal to your thoughts. You got your mind and body working together. You stopped thinking certain thoughts like, I can't, it's too hard. I don't feel like it. I'll never change. You had to make different choices. And the hardest part about change is not making the same choices the day before. And that means you're going to get uncomfortable. You stop doing the same things, the same habits, sitting on the couch, whatever it was, you didn't have time to complain. You know that stuff. You start staying away from the experiences with certain people in certain circumstances, you didn't want to live that anymore. And you had to really get beyond your emotional feelings and do it anyway. And we do this all the time. And then you run and all of a sudden the synchronicities start to happen. Everybody's experienced this, and next thing you know, the experience occurs. And you feel the emotion from that experience and it takes away the lack or separation from not having it. So the emotion is the end product of the experience in three dimensional reality.
- [15:11]
Lewis Howes
Say it again. The emotion is what?
- [15:12]
Joe Dispenza
The end product of the experience. It's the payoff. The payoff from the experience. Having the experience is the emotion that is the consequence of the experience. And that emotion is all the sensory information that you're perceiving. Everything you're seeing and hearing and smelling and tasting and feeling, all that information is rushing back to your brain. And jungles of neurons are organizing into networks. And when they string into place another part of the brain called the chemical brain, the limbic brain, the emotional brain, begins to make chemicals to produce that emotion. And that emotion then takes away the lack. And now you say, I created that. And then you go to the next one. Now you can get really good at doing this. You could study, you could get schooled, you can get coached, you can learn from your mistakes, you can get disciplined and you can accumulate more things. You can get better at doing that. But there is another way to create where you don't have to do so much. And those are laws that transcend just typical Newtonian laws. And what if you were to feel the emotion of the future before it happened? Every single day. Remember that feeling. And that feeling was for your heart to fall in love with your life, to fall in love with your vision, you'd have to awaken that heart. If you could do that and marry that with the vision of your future, I promise you it'll be easier for make choices to step into that future. I guarantee you'll believe in it and do things to to advance yourself into that future. And you step right into it.
- [16:54]
Lewis Howes
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- [18:49]
Joe Dispenza
If it doesn't happen when we want it to happen, you know what I mean? Like, people stop me and they say, well, I've been creating my reality for three days. Nothing happened. And I say to them, you're not that good. Look, I don't know what else. I don't know what else to tell you. You're not that good. Or they'll say, how come I'm not living in Mallorca with my two songs and my lover? I'm like, because the person who's living in Mallorca looks nothing like you. Like, that's not what the person looks like. So when it doesn't happen, the lack becomes greater.
- [19:30]
Lewis Howes
And then what do we do?
- [19:31]
Joe Dispenza
And because lack is separation. And separation is based on time. And so when you imagine that vision of your future, you're putting your attention and a future reality. You have one point of consciousness. That's your future. And you are making the choice from this point of consciousness that that's where you want to go. And the distance between those two is called time. So time is based on lack or separation. Are you with me?
- [20:02]
Lewis Howes
Yes.
- [20:02]
Joe Dispenza
And when it doesn't happen, we start to feel more lack and more separation. So we start to force outcomes.
- [20:09]
Lewis Howes
So we try harder, Try harder.
- [20:11]
Joe Dispenza
We manipulate, we compete, we fight. Because trying is what you do when you're in lack. And so the person's living in separation their whole entire life, waiting for the event to occur to take away the feeling of not having it. And it could be their whole entire life.
- [20:28]
Lewis Howes
Wow.
- [20:29]
Joe Dispenza
And that becomes a program. So then you ask them, why are you this way? Well, because life isn't working for me. That's the belief that they have.
- [20:39]
Lewis Howes
It's unfair.
- [20:40]
Joe Dispenza
And they'll have a whole story that goes along with it. So then if you could fall in love with your future, and the heart produces a very strong magnetic signature and you get your brain coherent and working really well, that intention that you have has a signal in the field. And we've measured this. And so then if you could begin to experiment by changing your energy, could it change my life? That's the experiment. I'm just curious if you started doing it, that you could actually shorten the distance between the thought of what you want and the experience of having it. And all of a sudden you're no longer going anywhere to do it. It's kind of coming to you now. If you experiment like that and then you are successful at it and you start seeing the synchronicities, I guarantee you you're going to keep it up.
- [21:36]
Lewis Howes
Yes.
- [21:36]
Joe Dispenza
I guarantee you it's not going to be like, oh, God, I got to go fall in love with my future now. Know it's not going to be like that. You're going to be like, whoa, like it's happening, like whatever that is, that I don't know what it is, but you're changing your energy. And so to become a creator in your life and truly, truly practice it, if you're feeling the feeling of your future, you can't look for it. How could you look for it if you feel like it already happened? And we cannot attract anything in our life that we feel separate from. And that means you gotta maintain that modified state of mind and body to keep your vision alive. And if you do, the experiment should be, hey, hey, hey, I'm doing this to experiment. Is it the truth? I'm doing it for the truth. To take the belief and actually behave that way, to ultimately become the creator of my life. And so that you fall in that zone, you fall into that flow, and now you're going to. You're going to want to feel that feeling more than you're going to want to feel your victimization. And that's when you no longer belong to your past. That's when you belong to your future. Abundance is just one experience. And the infinite number of experiences I believe that we could have as creators. And people just, they just forget all the wonderful things they did or became when they created that abundance. Abundance. And I've sat with billionaires, I've sat with them and you know what they say to me? They say they've said it more than once. We are miserable. We are in agony. You know why? Because they can't be present enough to enjoy a sunset even though they're on a yacht. They can't. They can't be present enough to enjoy a great meal. They just can't be present with their families. They can't be present. And so like that's not the life you want. What you want. Abundant people want to be free.
- [23:43]
Lewis Howes
Yes.
- [23:44]
Joe Dispenza
That's what they really want. Free to do it right. And then and to. And really, if your model of abundance is that you have so much more than you need that you would give it away, that would be an abundant person. Yes or no?
- [24:03]
Lewis Howes
Yes.
- [24:04]
Joe Dispenza
And so your experience of abundance in the experiment called life can be way more than being an angry abundant person.
- [24:16]
Lewis Howes
If you can create a harmonious relationship from the higher self of you to the wound itself, parts of you, then things are gonna start to flow better in your life.
- [24:26]
Gabby Bernstein
Oh well, yeah.
- [24:27]
Lewis Howes
In every area.
- [24:28]
Eric Thomas
Well.
- [24:28]
Gabby Bernstein
Cause think about it like this. Like my controller part. I've done so much work with her. You can gender these parts of you. They have no gender. They could have the opposite gender. It doesn't like sort of whatever is intuitive for you. My parts are female, so I have that controller part that you knew for so long or the anxiety part. Right. Even to think about all where we were maybe 10 years ago in these conversations to where I am with you right now and how much more self energy you feel in this moment is gonna make me cry. It means so much to me that you've been there with me.
- [24:57]
Lewis Howes
It's been like what, 13, 14 years, 15 years maybe since I've known you. 2008 I met you.
- [25:02]
Gabby Bernstein
And when you first met me, like I was like parts on fire. Right? Like literally on fire. I was a workaholic, both of us.
- [25:08]
Lewis Howes
Yeah.
- [25:09]
Gabby Bernstein
Really extreme. Really extreme. I was sober, but like workaholism. I was just extreme anxiety. Didn't know that I had trauma, so I was living in hypervigilance. I was so scared all the Time I was so controlling. It was just like I was doing, doing. You can still be going through hard things and do beautiful things in the world.
- [25:26]
Lewis Howes
Yeah. You can still get results in life.
- [25:28]
Gabby Bernstein
Yeah. And do good. But you can, but you might be having a lot of struggle. Right. And so as a result of this, this model and what I'm going to teach everybody today and living this and developing this and practicing this and every day being checking in with these parts of me, checking with these parts of me, I've unburdened them. And so it's not that they go away, is that they're not extreme anymore.
- [25:51]
Lewis Howes
Interesting. So the parts that were wounded are still inside of you.
- [25:55]
Gabby Bernstein
They're no longer wounded. They're in their beautifully developed chrysalis. Their new, for instance, the part of me that was a controller, I mean that part did good things. Right. She wrote 10 books in 14 years. Right.
- [26:08]
Lewis Howes
Took action, got things done.
- [26:10]
Gabby Bernstein
Yes. But now she can be in the flow. Right. Like now she can be like, I don't have to force my way to like get this thing to there. I'm like, oh, you know what, Lewis? Like I'm gonna be in la. Like does that work? I'll be there. Like I can show up with an energy. She's, she's, she's, she's on top. But she's, but she's trusting. She's not forcing, not forcing anything. She's just relaxed like in the presence. So it's still like, so it's like a really great quality to have that control part present because she gets things done but without craziness. Right?
- [26:43]
Lewis Howes
Yeah, right, right. Chaos without chaos. So these parts of us that once controlled us or hurt us to try to protect us because they all had an intention to serve us, but they didn't help the self. Really at our highest self, they're blocking self.
- [26:59]
Gabby Bernstein
They're blocking self.
- [26:59]
Lewis Howes
Blocking self. But they're an attempt to try to protect us totally, these parts of us. When we can have a relationship, a harmonious relationship with them through healing and mending those wounds, then we can use them for good.
- [27:12]
Gabby Bernstein
That's correct. Yeah. You're so great at like digesting and bringing it back. Yeah. It's beautiful that, that self right there in action. Clarity, clarity is one of those qualities. So you have such a good job of listening, thinking, pulling it together and bringing it back.
- [27:23]
Lewis Howes
And it sounds like we, we could, you know, by doing the self help work and by following this four step process that we're to cover in a second and just going through the book, it sounds like when we can start to have a different relationship with these parts of us that have caused us pain and suffering, but also try to protect us. If we can start to have a new relationship by mending those relationships, it can get a lot better. But it doesn't mean those things can come back at some point if we don't keep having a relationship with them in a healthy way. So you might be six months, I feel better. But then something triggers you, and you go back to the wounded part of you that says, I don't feel safe. You need to control this. You need to protect this. You need to be a perfectionist in this moment, whatever it is. Hyper vigilance. And so it's a, it's a constant relationship and a conversation of checking in.
- [28:10]
Gabby Bernstein
It sounds like it's called the check in process.
- [28:12]
Lewis Howes
Okay, all right, here we go.
- [28:13]
Gabby Bernstein
And I like that because everybody has a few minutes to check in, right? Or a few seconds to check in throughout the day. And the simplicity of it being this four steps of checking in with the part makes it such that you can have this relationship to the part. Rather than, why are you doing this? It's with why the pain? Right? That's like what Gabor Mate always says. Like, not why the addiction, why the pain? And so by every moment, when you notice a trigger or you have this space in your body to like, see, oh, you know, I'm, I'm out of alignment right now. In those moments, checking in are these moment to moment experiences of presence with, with bringing self to these parts. So I'll, I'll, I'll break it down for you.
- [29:08]
Lewis Howes
Give me a specific example in your life that may be a part of you that comes up sometimes that causes you anxiety or stress or.
- [29:16]
Gabby Bernstein
And how I would do the steps.
- [29:17]
Lewis Howes
Your, yeah, your, your team are like, oh, Gabby's in that mode. Her part of her, you know, is coming out in this moment, you know.
- [29:22]
Gabby Bernstein
Okay, they're watching right now. They're like, oh, shoot, are you sure.
- [29:25]
Lewis Howes
You'Re being a perfectionist? Or she's over controlling. Or she's not, whatever it is.
- [29:28]
Gabby Bernstein
Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
- [29:29]
Lewis Howes
So whatever that part is for you, that maybe has tended to come up a lot in the past. Can you give me an example of how you could use this while you're sharing what these four steps are?
- [29:38]
Gabby Bernstein
Okay, so the protector that's freaking out, right? She, she's freaking out because something isn't going the way she wants, right? So she's the freaking out protector actually doing a Lot of work with her in therapy right now. So it's nice. And I do ifs therapy, so of course. And she's having a freak out. Like, you know, some email isn't good. Or like the things aren't working as fast, the team is not working as fast as possible. Or if she feels like she has a burden belief, right? This freakout girl, her belief is, if I don't do it, nobody else will.
- [30:11]
Lewis Howes
Zing.
- [30:12]
Gabby Bernstein
And so she is maybe just like. And she has also has another. And I'm cursing a lot, but just bleep me. Okay. But she has another phrase that she says which is like, what the is going on here? And when I think about her, I think about. Okay, so let me give you the check in process. So let's say I notice she's coming in, she's showing up, and I'm like, oh, I notice her. I have enough awareness to be like, she's here. She needs help. So I need self to help self help me. I'll say that again. I need self to help self help me. And I, you know, have that awareness. I choose to check in. Step one, choose to check in.
- [30:54]
Lewis Howes
Make a choice.
- [30:55]
Gabby Bernstein
Yes. Because remember, parts are like little children. So if you try to force something on a little child, like if I try to go to Ali and say to him, bro, what the hell is going on? You seem upset. Let's talk about it. He's like, yeah, mommy. Like, get away, mommy. Right. So there has to be some buy in. Okay, so there's some buy in and I'm gonna choose to check in.
- [31:19]
Lewis Howes
So is that the adult self choosing to check in or is that the child self choosing to check in?
- [31:23]
Gabby Bernstein
It's both. Okay, so it's the choice is self. Self choice is itself like quality, but the part has to make the choice.
- [31:32]
Lewis Howes
So it's like what you said with your son. If he's not willing to reciprocate, like saying, let's talk about what's going on. And he's like, no, screw you, mommy, or whatever he's saying, then that's not a check in. Both parts need to check in.
- [31:43]
Gabby Bernstein
Yeah. It has to be my presence itself and his willingness.
- [31:48]
Lewis Howes
Willingness to receive or talk.
- [31:50]
Gabby Bernstein
Openness. Yeah, got it. Okay.
- [31:51]
Lewis Howes
So not that your son would say, screw you, mommy, but I'm just saying.
- [31:54]
Gabby Bernstein
Like, you never know. Yeah, yeah. You never know. Sixteen years old, they might say things like that. He would say, screw you, money. Yeah, yeah. So he makes me think of like cartman, do you know how to do a really Good, Cartman. Skit ye man, I'm getting hit.
- [32:08]
Lewis Howes
That's good.
- [32:09]
Gabby Bernstein
I'm really good at it. Okay, so choose to check in. So choose to check in. Detour from Cartman. Choose to check in. So you have this awareness that the part's triggered and you're saying, okay, I'm going to choose to check in right now. So you, you step one. That's it, choose. And if you know that you feel that, buy in. Like, okay, the part's ready to go. We can get, we can keep going. Right? Choosing to check in is also just sometimes even having the awareness that you need to check in because that's like step one. Step two is curiosity. Become curious. These are all c qualities, remember, Right? So it's like acting as if. And so the curiosity is start. So I'm in this place where the. This, this manager is up and she's like, what the going on here? Nobody. I have to do everything. Nobody else will do it. And so I choose to check in with her and I become curious and I start to notice the feelings and the thoughts and the sensations inside. I start asking her questions like, where do you feel that in your body? And she's like, no, I'm not breathing and there's tension in my chest and I start to see what kind of thoughts or sensations and her thoughts are like, what the is going on here?
- [33:16]
Lewis Howes
Why is this happening?
- [33:17]
Gabby Bernstein
And I ask her for any images or visions and she shows me my six year old self in my dining room with my pigtails and I'm screaming, no bumps, no bumps. Because the only way that I could find control in this out of control life that I had was to control the bumps in my pigtails to make.
- [33:39]
Lewis Howes
Your hair like look perfect or whatever.
- [33:41]
Gabby Bernstein
And so she's. So this girl that's now this adult that's screaming, what the is going on here? Is the little girl. This is the vision that she shows me, the little girl screaming, no bumps with the pigtails. So I start having all the. I flash out this information about her. You can see. Yeah, I could tear up as I think about her. And that connection that you. Can you feel that connection I'm having with her right now?
- [34:00]
Lewis Howes
Yes.
- [34:00]
Gabby Bernstein
That connection shows me that there's some self energy here. Okay?
- [34:05]
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- [35:04]
Gabby Bernstein
And so as soon as you start to feel some kind of connection to that part, the third step happens. And by the way, you can spend as much time as you want in curiosity. You could just ask more questions. Let the part speak, the parts want to speak. Step three, Compassionate connection. So I can look at that little girl and I can ask her, little Gabby, what do you need right now? And right away she'll speak back. She'll say, you know, at times she said things like, I need a mom or I need to rest or I need to play, I need to scream. I need, you know, they just speaking for what they need, right? I need to speak up, I need to be heard. And so the little voice gets to speak up and say what they need. And once that response comes through internally, the fourth step is to check for seed qualities of self. So you scan your inner system and you ask yourself, do I feel any connection? Yes. Right now, in this moment. I just did the check in with little Gabby and I feel connected to her. Do I feel compassion? Holy. Right now, I feel so much compassion for her. Do I feel clarity? Yes. She just showed me it's a little girl, right? She showed me exactly where she was. I feel clear what she needs. Do I feel calm? I feel calm. Even more calm right now. Just having done that check in process out loud with you. Connected. Oh, yes. Courageous. Much more courageous. Clarity. I think I said confidence. I got confidence.
- [36:41]
Lewis Howes
The one that you're remembering now.
- [36:43]
Gabby Bernstein
Confidence, creativity.
- [36:44]
Lewis Howes
Yes.
- [36:44]
Gabby Bernstein
Check for Cs. Even if you just have one C quality of self show up, you feel a little bit more calm. You feel a little bit more compassionate. You feel a little more connected. You've done the four steps. You've done the four steps. Even if you just get to check in, to choose to check in, just even the decision to check in for two seconds is the check in process.
- [37:03]
Lewis Howes
Because if you're not starting step one, then you're just gonna see a fight or flight.
- [37:07]
Gabby Bernstein
Yeah.
- [37:07]
Lewis Howes
You know, control freak anxiety or whatever your manager is, is doing well.
- [37:11]
Gabby Bernstein
Your manager won't have enough of a pause to pivot because the manager is. We can become blended with the managers, which means we believe that we are that. Right. There's times in your life when you get so worked up, Right. And you're so that you're like, I am the only one that can do this. Or, you know, the only way to live life is to fight back and tell everybody else that they're wrong. That's the only way to live. And if anybody challenges that, like, that's. They're gone. Right. So we're blended with these parts.
- [37:44]
Eric Thomas
Right.
- [37:45]
Gabby Bernstein
So the only way to start this check in process is to slightly unblend by choosing to check in.
- [37:50]
Lewis Howes
Interesting. Because otherwise you are those parts in that moment.
- [37:54]
Gabby Bernstein
Yeah. And there's gonna be plenty of times when we're so blended that we can't do the check in until two hours later. Two days later you can check in.
- [38:00]
Lewis Howes
So you can reflect and you take a nap, you sleep.
- [38:03]
Gabby Bernstein
Yeah. You can check in hours later. You're out of the environment most of the time. When people start this work, they're going to find themselves the next day being like, oh, what happened there? And then just check in. Right. But you should start with little. That's why I want to work with managers, because this is about a process. Right. It's like making it a habit. Do it with the small moments. Right. So like just, just this morning, you know, like, or yesterday, right. I arrived in la. I was like, kind of overwhelmed by the energy. I didn't love, like the view out of my hotel room. This sounds like a luxury problem, but like, the energy is really important to me.
- [38:39]
Lewis Howes
If you're staying on a wall or.
- [38:40]
Gabby Bernstein
Something, staring at like a Chase bank, I was just like, where, you know, I was like, in this. And then you're like, you know, I, I want to have a good vibe right now. And so I was seeing that controller come in and she wasn't too bad, but she did ask my, my assistant to call five other hotels and like, you know, very lovingly asked, you know, and at night I, and I, she's like, I don't wanna ever come back to la. Like, she's like. And so instead of like, actually I did fire off an email to my PR team and was like, cancel the October trip. And then I was like, chill. The. Okay, so I came back and I rewrote an email. I was like, don't cancel the October trip. And then I checked in with her. Wow. Right before.
- [39:16]
Eric Thomas
Wow.
- [39:17]
Lewis Howes
Okay.
- [39:18]
Gabby Bernstein
And so she wasn't like, that's just like, day. This is a day to day thing that normally we're just acting out in these ways and we don't actually know. Maybe we come out of it because we just got some logic, but we never tend to it. And so I was like, oh, what do you need, honey? And so I just checked in with her and I heard her, and she's like, I just want to feel, like, warm and safe. And I just want to feel like I've got a good energy around me. And what do I need right now? Like, I need to find the right place to land when I get here, and I need to just sort of sort those things out. And I started to feel calmer as I checked for those seed qualities. And so this is where the manifesting comes in. Okay. So she calmed down last night. Okay. She slept great.
- [40:02]
Lewis Howes
That's good.
- [40:03]
Gabby Bernstein
She woke up. She's like, I'm gonna see Lewis today. She worked out. It was like 5am cause I'm on East coast time. I was like, let's go work out. I was feeling great. I sat down to get my makeup done, was like, super chill. And I'm like, you know, I think my makeup artist who you met, Christina. And I was like, you know Christina. I'm like, I, like, had this whole drama yesterday. I'm like, all I really want is, like, high vibe energy, super connected. I wanna. I wanna find my hotel in la. I have to be out here all the time. I wanna just make it my home. Like, leave a toothbrush. Like, I want that. And then, like, I'm coming back in October, and I really wanna have, like, a retreaty vibe for two days. Because I need to write when I'm here, and it's a weekend when I'm here. I'm like, this is what I want. And I was like, it'll happen. Like, the universe is gonna deliver it. I call our mutual friend Jeff Krasno.
- [40:48]
Lewis Howes
Because I was like, oh, he's got an amazing.
- [40:50]
Gabby Bernstein
Because I got the hit. And I was like, you know she's called Jeff, right?
- [40:52]
Lewis Howes
He's got the whole commune. It's.
- [40:53]
Gabby Bernstein
I wasn't even calling Jeff sanctuary. I was something totally different. Okay? I called Jeff and I'm like, hey, you know, and then I was like, oh, you know what? As I'm talking to him, I'm like. I'm like, he's Calling about getting on the podcast. And I was like, hey, what, bro? I'm like, wait, when I come in la, you're going to be doing a retreat in Topanga? And I was like, wait a second. I'm like, let me come for two days in Topanga. Like, is there a place for me to write and can I, like, come do yoga with Skyler? And I like, you take your class and. And eat food with you guys. And he's like, of course you can. I was like. And then I was like, wait a second, hold on. So I just found my two days, my little retreat to go. Right, Right? And then I look at my calendar. I'm like, wait a second. I have a podcast interview in Topanga on Friday. Some guy showing up in Topanga. And then I'm on the phone with Jeff and he's like, you gotta call Robin Burzen. She's in la. Call Burz right now. She's staying at the Soho House. I was like, wait a second, I'm a member at the SoHas. There's a SoHo House here?
- [41:43]
Lewis Howes
Yeah.
- [41:43]
Gabby Bernstein
And all of a sudden I thought there was no hotel. So I'm like, hold on a second. So I call Robin. She's like, get in the hotel. I call the hotel. They have one room left. Get in the hotel. I was saving so much money going over to this other hotel that I want to be with, with my. One of my best friends tonight I find my hotel that I want. I mean, it sounds like a stupid luxury thing, but look how fast the manifesting was. And then, boom, I was in the flow. Here I am, and I've got this whole next trip in October totally sorted with the trip to Topanga, the hotel that's going to make me feel safe, the community I want to be with, the creative space to do my writing. Now, did a controlling, type a person make that happen? No. A creative, calm, connected, curious. Right.
- [42:29]
Lewis Howes
Compassionate curiosity.
- [42:30]
Gabby Bernstein
We keep forgetting curiosity is self energy. Curiosity. Compassionate was just like, curious, right? Curiosity said, let me call Krasno and see if he can do a podcast. And then let me ask him about Topanga. Right? Hello? Sounds stupid, but that, that. But my. My makeup artist was like. That all just fell into place like a domino in 30 minutes. Like that. Really weird to me.
- [42:49]
Lewis Howes
I was like, this morning.
- [42:51]
Gabby Bernstein
That was right before I came.
- [42:51]
Eric Thomas
Wow.
- [42:52]
Gabby Bernstein
And so, like. But that whole, like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. Working out the details. That's how life is meant to be. We're meant to be in the flow and the awe and the synchronicity. Of self.
- [43:04]
Lewis Howes
Yes. You talk about in one of your books becoming a super attractor. How can we become a super attractor by applying this method? Because it sounds like you applied the method and you wouldn't have been able to figure this out if you were in stress and control and manager freaked out, control freak mode. You know, if that little part of you is back in that like it needs to be a perfect pigtails or whatever. So how can you attract abundantly without managing the parts of us that are wounded?
- [43:34]
Gabby Bernstein
So we wouldn't want to manage the parts of us. We want to bring self. We wouldn't let self help them Right. Just for language purposes.
- [43:41]
Lewis Howes
So it's not managing them right.
- [43:43]
Gabby Bernstein
Because managers are managing.
- [43:44]
Lewis Howes
You can't manage the managers.
- [43:45]
Gabby Bernstein
Yeah, you can't. That's correct. Managing the managers is like when the firefighters come in or you know, that's right. That's managed. You're really getting it. It's so cool. People might have to listen to this episode twice or read the book. Right. Read the book. Right. It's all there. So there's no way that you can manifest effortlessly unless you have tended to these protector parts. Because you might have a lot of things that you can create in your life, but you're up or limiting yourself. You're going to hit ceilings, glass ceilings.
- [44:15]
Lewis Howes
You won't be able to break through certain levels.
- [44:18]
Gabby Bernstein
Yeah. Because your sheer will can get you some of the way there and you know, whatever. And you might have a little moment with that creative flow comes in but then you just sort of block it again or you know, but to live in the flow, effortless to say it. And it will be. This morning I would like a retreat center and a home base in LA. And 30 seconds later, clarity and curiosity. Call Jeff. Get curious. Because manifesting isn't about just sitting around. Nothing happens. You're doing. But to be a super attractor and to be a co creator, you have to dwell in the energy of creativity. You have to be calm, you have to be faithful. Right. You have to be connected, you have to be courageous to take the action with that flow energy. You have to be curious about what's possible. You have to be creative. Absolutely creative, creative, creative, creative. You cannot be judging yourself. You have to be compassionate toward every part of who you are. And so we are all super attractors. We all have self in us. We all have the ability to live with ease no matter what our circumstances might be. But there are absolutely some of us who have far more privileged than others. Let's be real about that, right? Like for those of us that are in Western cultures, those of us who can watch this podcast right now, we have privilege. And those of us who have that privilege, it is our responsibility to do the self help work, to clean up our side of the street, to get more flow in our life. Because in that flow we can serve more people.
- [45:47]
Joe Dispenza
Yes.
- [45:47]
Gabby Bernstein
Period.
- [45:48]
Lewis Howes
True. Do people need to think about motivation in order to overcome themselves and their problems and their challenges, or do they need to think about being more disciplined to overcome the weight of the world they're feeling?
- [46:05]
Eric Thomas
Yeah, I say both hands. But to your point, on the discipline, you need to be more disciplined about your mindset.
- [46:12]
Lewis Howes
What do people need to be thinking about with their minds?
- [46:14]
Eric Thomas
So here's the deal. You already in pain, get a reward for it. It's just like, look, do me a favor. Everything you say, you write. But why go through life with whatever people did to you when you were younger or a young adult and then you have to live with it for the next 40, 50 years? Like, why would you, why would you sit here and all the stuff that you said was absolutely right? My daddy wasn't there. My mama did this. This person did to me. Why would you let them destroy your life?
- [46:40]
Lewis Howes
Let's go.
- [46:41]
Eric Thomas
Why would they? Why would you let them own you? Why would you allow that thing they did to hurt you? Now define the rest of your life. It's like, no, I was in pain. It's real. But get a reward for it. So for me, walking into, first of all, driving here in a car service, getting to la, walking in this beautiful facility, seeing the other businesses that are here, I'm like, e, I'm proud of you, bro. You made it. E. You could have stopped at the homeless boy and nobody would have tripped. Your daddy wasn't there. Your mom was 17 when she got pregnant. All the negative that happened to you, Eric. We understand, Buck, Understand. Let me tell you one of the things that just blew my mind the other day. So, you know, we were fortunate to own a home in California. I owned a hill, right? So we got this property, we got the basketball court with the logo, all the companies that whatever. And I go outside yesterday and I see my wife and my son playing basketball. And I'm thinking to myself, in California, on the hill, looking at all these beautiful properties. My wife and my son are outside hooping.
- [47:48]
Lewis Howes
Dream life.
- [47:49]
Eric Thomas
My wife was like, I want to work out. My son was like, I didn't even know. She was like, I'm going to play Basketball. I'm like, I can't do it right now. And I'm listening to a voice. He came home, heard the basketball, went out with his mom. I'm like, yo, my son, 29 years old, is spending time with his mom. As an adult male, he could be anywhere doing anything. He's with his mom, her firstborn. They got this bond that I don't have. And they're out here hooping. And as I look at the property, I'm like, yo, what if the 16 year old Eric Thomas would have stayed to 16 year old Eric Thomas? So I'm saying for those who are listening, get a reward for it. And then do me a favor, don't just think about you. Like, do you know that my son, in his mind, this is where you. Like this where you start. Like, he got the sauna, the pool, the whirlpool. He's starting somewhere. I never started. The cars, the Rolls Royce, the Escalade. Like, he's starting somewhere. I didn't start. Why? Because I didn't stop where I started. I didn't stop. I was like, okay, this is where we started. But this not about to be my end. And so his beginnings looked total. My man went to Michigan State and was a general manager for Izzo. He traveled the world. He's got a final four ring and Elite eight ring. He got the jack. He sat under Coach Izzo, hall of Fame coach for four years, Coach og. He sat under these guys. Like his boys, some of his boys went to the league. There's some of them still in the league. Like, he got that because I didn't go. I quit because my mom, my dad did. So I quit. I give up. This is worst thing ever happened. I was like, you get a reward for it. And so to see my son, I'm coming to a concert tonight with my daughter. Listen to me. Like, I didn't give up. And so I'm saying, everybody, we all go through pain. Some of us go through pain and it becomes our tombstone. Some of us go through pain and it's a, it's a scar. And we, and we live a life of rewards. I'm just going to say again, 20, 25, do me a favor, check you. So you're in the ballot box and you're looking at all these options. Doctor, lawyer, teacher, whatever, whatever you see. President, mayor, governor. Do me a favor, before you check off any of that SMP 500 real estate. Before you check any of that. Check you? Yeah, before you check anything, check you and go look yourself in the mirror and go, you're on my lottery ticket. I'm my ticket out of the neighborhood. Or, you know, I'm the broken curse. Like whatever you want to call yourself. But the day I stopped saying my mom, my dad, this person, the police, the the day I stopped doing that, the day I said you Vacation season.
- [50:25]
Lewis Howes
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- [52:43]
Eric Thomas
No. No. You know why? Because what I didn't realize as a young adult is that when you say it's somebody else, whether you mean to do it or not, you give them the keys to your life.
- [52:53]
Lewis Howes
You give them power over you.
- [52:54]
Eric Thomas
They got your whole life in their hand because you said it. You said it. They didn't do this. And because they didn't, they got the keys. Now, I'll be honest. The reason why we don't want to take the keys, because we got to drive. We gotta drive. And I told you today, I was like, I got too much to do. I normally drive. I'm like, I got too much to do. And it felt good to be in the car, driven.
- [53:13]
Lewis Howes
It felt good. Yeah.
- [53:15]
Eric Thomas
Like I'm on the phone talking to my wife. We having worship, doing our thing, making a couple business calls. Like, I don't have the responsibility of.
- [53:21]
Lewis Howes
The traffic paying attention.
- [53:23]
Eric Thomas
I gotta pay attention. He moved over and got. I was like, why is he stopping in the middle of. But it was. A truck was coming, so he had to move over. I didn't know what was going on because it was the first time in my life that I wasn't really, like, responsible because I normally drive. And that's why people don't want to drive in their lives. They don't want to be responsible. It's so much easier to say, my life is messed up because you did this and you did that. Once you take the keys, now you got to go. Anything. But I'm going to tell you this, this is why I like it. While it's more responsibility, it's more freedom, it's more independence, it's more control opportunities. They limit it with the limitless when you take the keys. And so I took the keys in my life, I said, ma, thanks, dad. Thanks for not being there for me. You gave me a dog. You gave me a passion. You gave me resilience. You taught me how to make it. When the very thing that's supposed to be there for you isn't there for you. And I tell people what I want. Some key asked me the other day. He's like, man, wouldn't you say your son is lucky because you're in his life and his mom is in his life? I said, yes and no. I said, yes, he's blessed to have his mom and dad, but he ain't got that dog.
- [54:34]
Lewis Howes
He doesn't have the hunger.
- [54:35]
Eric Thomas
He ain't got. Oh, man, my son is a great kid, but he doesn't have the drive. He ain't got the same drive I got, and that drive came without that. Some stuff that I lack. That stuff came from lack. And so I say to anybody you got. You gotta understand, it could go either way. But when you take the. You take the. It's like, I walk into a school, and I ask, how many of y'all 50 kids? How many kids in here? A thousand kids? How many of your dads wanted in your life was not living in the house? 90% raised their hand, and guess what? I automatically can relate to them. That's the Genesee Qua. That my daddy wasn't there. That's the it factor. If my father had been there, I might not be able to go in here and relate with my videos and go viral. People like, okay, maybe if I just had Eric voice or if I just scream and I just look passionate.
- [55:23]
Gabby Bernstein
Yeah.
- [55:23]
Eric Thomas
Yeah, bro. That's not what. That's not what it is. It's. When I speak, you hear it. Because I've been through what you've been through. Wow. And so you. You recognize that voice. You recognize the pain, you recognize the struggle, but you recognize I overcame it. And that's why you, like, I want to rock with this dude, because this one ain't some kind of way. Eric ain't the one that's making us feel like, oh, it's okay that you went through this, and it's okay that this. And it's okay if you don't want to grow, and it's okay if you don't want. No, what you hear from me is a coach that's saying, jordan, you got six rings in you, but you got to stop playing this way, and you got to start playing this way. Kobe, you got great, but you got to. You got to do it this way. Serena, you got a Venus. You got that? Richard Williams is saying he's not out there. Just, good job. He's teaching, training, but he's also correcting. And so for me, they hear my voice. I'm not letting you get away with murder, because greatness is in you. The greatness is in you. And now it's time to go to school. It's time to go to work and bring that greatness out of yourselves. Yes, anybody. Anybody could be successful. But as long as you plan the blame game, you have. You have given permission, the license, registration, the keys. You give it all over to somebody else. And the day you take it is the day that you can start deciding which direction you want to go.
- [56:44]
Lewis Howes
Wow. So it sounds like, step one, take the keys back to your life.
- [56:49]
Eric Thomas
Take the keys back.
- [56:50]
Lewis Howes
What would steps two and three be for setting people up for their ultimate life with that beginning process? Is it? Is it get clear on a goal? Is it? Start with motivation. Start with discipline. Like, change your habits. What would the next couple steps be to set up the mindset for success?
- [57:06]
Eric Thomas
I would say step two. And I don't know why they don't teach this in school. Be your first best friend, you know, like, get to know you. We're so busy wanting to be in a community that we don't realize we are a community. Right. And look, I'm not trying to be deep. You know, people could, you know, you believe this, you don't believe in this. But what I was taught, you know, in school, especially Catholic school, it seemed like Adam was by himself first. It doesn't seem like it was like somebody else. It was like Adam was first and then whatever happened after that. So the first man was by himself. And I think that's important for those of us who study that. Why? Because all of us think we have to have somebody to be somebody. And this guy started on his. He started his journey on his own before he connected with somebody, whatever. He knew his purpose, you know, he. He walked in his confidence, he walked. And a lot of us are going. I hear people say all the time, well, I'm not doing good. Like, why not? I don't have nobody. I'm not in a relationship. I'm saying, you're telling me no. Listen to me very closely. Do you think for one minute that getting in a relationship with somebody, it can't be the key? Because so many people have gotten in relationships and gotten out of it. So that can't be the key. Now, two healthy people, not perfect, but two healthy people coming together. Oh, no, that's different.
- [58:27]
Lewis Howes
It's expansive.
- [58:27]
Eric Thomas
But guess what has to happen.
- [58:29]
Lewis Howes
You gotta be healthy with you before.
- [58:31]
Eric Thomas
You can be with them. So we even messing each other up when we have two dysfunctional people trying to connect with each other, because we think two functional people gonna come together to make each other happy. It's not gonna work. So I just think the first step after the first step is you gotta figure out who you are and love you and feel good about you and show up in the ring you and not care what nobody think about you. And that's why this relationship has worked so well for me over the years because when we're together, it's never been a thing of e, why you do that, E, why you do that or E, why you do that? It's always been like, e, you have a unique set of skills that make you great. You have a unique set. And so we've always focused on what's our unique skills and what do you know that I don't know and how can you help me get there? And so a lot of these young kids are joining things they shouldn't join and being with people because they think their happiness is going to come from being with somebody else. And I just think if you, if you be Eagles aren't trying to. They just are eat. They're not trying. Lions aren't. What do you think about me? What do you think about my war? You think I'm too lucky when I run? They're not concerned. And so I think step two, figure out who you are, love you. And step three, figure out your North Star and wake up every single day going after your North Star. Because when you have a North Star, you know, and the people that you love and you spend time with have a North Star, have a purpose. And look, that purpose might be. We both have people whose purposes are help us with our purpose. Yes. They don't necessarily have a, an individual purpose like they felt like they were called to help us serve our mission. That's it. So we need a North Star so they can know what their North Star is. So that would be my third one. It's like, you gotta figure out what makes you happy. And again, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with first time I did a behind the scenes coming in here just because I was like, to my Patreon community, like, yo, y'all need to understand where I am and what's going on. But I don't. If you follow me on Instagram or TikTok, wherever I'm on, you don't see behind the scenes. I think that's a phenomenal tool to show other people what. But my wife is private. So for us, that does not work. She does not want to be seen in the lala. She doesn't want to be in Dubai and stop and go, let's take a. Let's document what we're doing. She doesn't like that. So for some people it works. But I don't have to do that to still find a space. Right. There's some people, you know, they do tours. Right. I don't do tours. That's not my thing. I used to do them, I don't do them now. There's some people that write books, some people don't write books. Like, it doesn't matter. But what matters is you have to find a thing that wakes you up.
- [61:14]
Lewis Howes
Yes.
- [61:15]
Eric Thomas
At 3:00 or 6:00 or 10:00. Like, you got to find the thing that brings the life out of you, the joy out of you, the happiness out of you. And you can't do that following somebody else's North Star. So my last one would be, man, figure out what you was put on this earth to do. And I mean every single chance you have to do it, do it. And when you're not doing it, enjoy your life. My son was like, damn, I'm tired. I say, you tired? You burnt out for what? Look at your mom and dad. You work for the family. What are you doing? Well, I've been up the last six days working 10, 12 hours. I said, for what? What would you be doing that for? Like, why wouldn't you take advantage of the. You say, what should I be doing? I said, you should figure out what it is you do. He's a designer, right? You should be designing clothes Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, whenever, five, six hours a day. And then Saturday, Sunday, or Friday, Saturday, because of your family. You should get a trip somewhere and go spend it with a friend. You should go see the. You should go to Interleaver. You should go to Rome, so you should go to South Africa. So you should go to the Gold coast in Australia. Son, what are you. Like you should. What are you doing? Like, you should work. But a part of work also is, where's your play? You should play. We worked hard so you could be balanced. So don't be like us. We grew up in a working class home. We grew up in Detroit. We grew up blue collar. You're not blue collar. So go enjoy your life, be balanced. So I'm not just saying find your North Star in terms of what you've been called to do for others, but there should be a healthy amount of time that you spend enjoying your life, you know, and enjoying a little time that you have here, because we're not. We both know we won't be doing this podcast 100 years from now.
- [62:57]
Lewis Howes
Sure, yeah.
- [62:59]
Eric Thomas
We don't know how much longer we have, but I won't be 154 sitting down talking to you. So however much time I have left, we. I need to work hard and I need to enjoy that time.
- [63:09]
Lewis Howes
Absolutely.
- [63:10]
Eric Thomas
Yeah.
- [63:10]
Lewis Howes
Those are beautiful, man. I've heard you talk about a concept I want to share in a second, but I feel like there's a group of people we've been talking to, you've been talking to that are the people that have maybe don't have the opportunities they want, they don't have the life they want. They feel like people are holding them down. That's one group. Then there's another group of people, which I feel like is a majority of people that have a good life, it's okay, it's good. But they don't. They're not living a great life for themselves. Maybe they got a good job and they're pretty healthy kind of decent relationships. But something. There's like, something missing. I think. If you can. If that resonates with anyone listening or watching, comment below. Or leave a. Like, if you feel like, yeah, my life is good, but I feel like something's off. You have this great concept called creating a mental rock bottom to push yourself towards your goals. Can you share more about kind of some practical steps of creating your own mental rock bottom so that you can go to the next level in your life?
- [64:10]
Eric Thomas
Okay, I want to use the term, though, that you use.
- [64:12]
Lewis Howes
And you said create.
- [64:13]
Eric Thomas
And I just think so many of us have stepped into careers. That group, we have worshiped careers more than we worship create. And so the first thing I was head of that group is, what would life look like if you did it on your terms? Because right now, you're really not doing on your terms. What you've done is say, yo, if I want to survive, if I want to strive, this is what I have to do. And you have allowed people to tell you, okay, you need to be an engineer or you need to be a. And you need to move it. So you've done a phenomenal job. And being obedient, you've done a phenomenal job in complying.
- [64:50]
Lewis Howes
Yes.
- [64:50]
Eric Thomas
Like, you've done a phenomenal job. You follow the rules.
- [64:53]
Lewis Howes
Yes.
- [64:53]
Eric Thomas
Congratulations. You know what I'm saying? Like, you didn't rob a bank.
- [64:56]
Joe Dispenza
You know what I'm saying?
- [64:57]
Eric Thomas
Like, you haven't done anything illegal. You did exactly what a good child should do. And I have a daughter that I have to get on her sometime because she's that child that's like, yo, dad, what do you guys want me to do? And I'm stupid.
- [65:09]
Lewis Howes
She's obedient.
- [65:10]
Eric Thomas
She never said, do me a favor, don't always be obedient. Like, you need to sit down and ask yourself if you weren't thinking about the family's name, if you didn't, if Eric Thomas ET The Hip Hop Preacher was not your father, what would you be doing? What would you be doing if you didn't have to worry about honoring the dynasty? And you do a phenomenal job of honoring this dynasty. I'm not saying anything. Went to school, handled your business. You've never been in trouble before. We've never had to spend money doing anything. You've been a phenomenal child. But what would you do if you live life on your terms and you were able to go where you even want to do? And so that's the first thing I would ask them to do. I want you to think about your life instead of the life. Because that's what you've been thinking about, the life. Now think about your life. And I want you to start putting it everywhere. Now, the next thing I want you to do is I want you to know that if you have the ability, like I never forget. C.J. was like, okay, E, you know what you missing? That. The big boy. All the big boy speakers. You know what you're missing? I was like, no. He was like the New York Times bestseller. Now, I'm not telling you got to do it, but I'm saying that's what's missing. No, you got it.
- [66:18]
Lewis Howes
You got it.
- [66:19]
Eric Thomas
So he was like, first of all, do you want it? Do you want it?
- [66:23]
Lewis Howes
Don't do it. Because I'm saying, but do you want it?
- [66:25]
Eric Thomas
And he could elevate you, but do you want. And I was like, yeah, I want it. The next question becomes, what does it take to do it? And then am I willing to do what it takes to get it?
- [66:36]
Lewis Howes
Yeah, because it's a lot.
- [66:38]
Eric Thomas
It's a lot. But here's the thing. I believe, if you think about it, it is only because somewhere inside of you, you have what it takes. Now, capacity is there. Willingness is something totally different. Yes, that's different. But I want every human to know, you wouldn't be watching the school. You wouldn't be watching or listening to the School of Greatness if you didn't believe you were great. I'm just. For real. You wouldn't be spending time with this man on a regular basis. I'm telling you, I wouldn't be going to Columbus. I drove to Columbus, bruh. It's not a. Trust me when I tell you, it's not a. You don't get off the freeway. It's not 65. You get up. Why did I go because this man is great. And greats want to hang with greats. I need you to understand. Look, y'all may not know, listen to me. I've got Nomad suitcases that I still carry this day because he gave them to me. Like I didn't buy a new one. I carry the exact same ones that he gave me. And my son bought a set because I had a set, because it reminds me of him. When I travel, it's like greatness, great. So you wouldn't be watching. You wouldn't be locked in something. Your spirit has you tuned into this bed because you know you're great. Now you got to say to yourself, am I willing to cooperate with the greatness that's in me? And then once you do and you start consistently operating in that, you're going to feel good about it. Here's what you have to do. You have to understand. Andre de Shields, I think, said, the top of one mountain is the bottom of the next. Wow. So you get to the top of the mountain, but you understand the GED was just one. The four year degree was just one. The math was just after. The PhD was the new York Times after that. It's the assessments, it's the training, it's the coaching. I'm in masterminds. I get coached right. And so it's this idea of yesterday's greatness can't be enough because I'm alive today. So if I'm alive today, it must be some more greatness in me. And it's my job, like the toothpaste. It's my job not to just lose. I don't know about you, but I would just use a little bit of and get another one.
- [68:48]
Lewis Howes
He getting the last drop.
- [68:50]
Eric Thomas
I'm squeezing and I got mud. I'm squeezing that toothpaste. Why? Because I'm trying to get everything out the tube before I go to another one and with my life before I get out of here, which is why I could murder myself, that I didn't realize at 12 that I was great. And that's why I said, you gotta check in 20, 25, you 2025, right. Because I didn't know I was great. And once I checked it and realized how great I was, I was like, bruh, we gonna keep doing this until the day we die. And so I would just say to you, you. You're watching. You're in this space. You're reading his books, you're going to his conferences, because you know it's in you and it's time to stop being lazy and it's time to it's time to activate.
- [69:33]
Lewis Howes
I love that man. I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally as well as ad free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our greatness+channel exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Share this with a friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts as well. Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review. I really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward. And I want to remind you if no one has told you lately that you are loved, you are worthy and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great. Now is your time to get into a new Dr. Horton home by taking.
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Joe Dispenza
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Lewis Howes
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- [71:01]
Gabby Bernstein
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