I Spent Years Hating Myself Until I Started This Practice

Summary

The School of Greatness

Episode Title: I Spent Years Hating Myself Until I Started This Practice

Host: Lewis Howes
Guest: Melissa Wood Tepperberg
Date: January 9, 2026

---

Episode Overview

In this deeply personal and inspiring episode, Lewis Howes sits down with wellness entrepreneur, content creator and meditation advocate Melissa Wood Tepperberg. Together, they explore Melissa’s journey from growing up with childhood trauma, battling perfectionism, self-hate, and destructive behaviors, to finding healing and purpose through self-awareness, meditation, and service. Melissa candidly discusses her struggles with eating disorders, emotional survival, dysfunctional family patterns, and the practices that helped her transform her relationship with herself and serve millions around the globe.

This conversation is a masterclass in vulnerability, radical self-reflection, and how small, consistent practices can completely reshape our lives.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Unmasking and Childhood Trauma

• Family Dysfunction: Both Lewis and Melissa connect over growing up amidst emotional chaos and scarcity, sharing the perpetual feeling of “not enough” and the compulsion to wear masks of perfection.
  • "I wore those masks for a long time to protect myself, to fit in, to belong, to get ahead, whatever it might be—to survive." — Lewis Howes [04:00]
• Emotional vs. Physical Survival: Melissa describes “emotional survival” as her baseline, taking on household responsibilities from a young age and internalizing her family’s struggles.
  • "I knew since the age of seven that I could help or I could ease some stress... It was this endless cycle of survival." — Melissa [06:02]
• Early Wounds: She shares a vivid story of being the only child without a parent present at a school Parent Day, seeding shame and a drive to protect her vulnerability.
  • "I remember being alone and just, like, not having my parents show up. And I was so embarrassed, but I was so hurt." — Melissa [08:06]

2. Coping Mechanisms, Numbing, and Self-Destruction

• Escaping Pain in Early Adulthood: Moving to New York exposed Melissa to her unresolved pain. She admits numbing herself through binge drinking, late nights, drugs, and eating disorders.
  • "That was the start of running away from myself...it really translated to going out, drinking, and then numbing yourself, binge eating." — Melissa [13:15]
• Eating Disorders: She describes the vicious cycle of binging and purging, rooted in shame and a desire for control.
  • "I felt like I deserved it... I was just trying to get rid of what was physically inside me. But it was so emotionally tied." — Melissa [16:49]
• Darkest Point: Melissa’s lowest moments included self-hate so deep she’d look in the mirror and say, "I hate you." — [18:18]

3. The Wake-Up Call and Beginning to Heal

• Seeing Two Paths: She vividly recalls a moment of clarity—seeing her life split between ongoing destruction and the unknown pain of healing.
  • "I saw two roads of life, right? One, we know where that’s going to end up. Or, you can choose to create this different path for yourself... I needed help." — Melissa [19:12]
• Embracing Help: For the first time, she reached out to a friend for a therapist recommendation, realizing she could no longer rely only on her own strength.
  • "That was the biggest moment for me...giving over and not relying on my own strength for the first time in my life." — Melissa [20:57]
• Breaking Old Patterns: Even in therapy, Melissa admits struggling to fully let go of unhealthy coping ("I lied to my therapist. I was taking Adderall...It is really hard to break the cycle." — [26:33]).

4. Building a New Practice: From Restriction to Self-Love

• Shifting the Focus: Instead of removing unhealthy behaviors, Melissa started adding in positive practices—therapy, then hiring a health coach.
  • "What can I add in to help make me feel just an ounce more at ease?" — Melissa [31:48]
• Obsession with External Approval: She realized obsession with diet, exercise, and outward appearance was another form of self-punishment.
  • "I became psychotic with that...I was working out two hours a day, writing down every morsel of food. It was so obsessive." — Melissa [33:15]
• Meditation as a Turning Point: Daily meditation became her anchor and catalyst for true self-acceptance and healing.
  • "I started meditating. I’ve meditated every day since. That’s how I’m here. It helped me see myself for the first time." — Melissa [36:53]

5. Consistent Self-Devotion and Service

• Cultivating Practices: Through meditation and movement (Pilates, yoga, intuitive flow), Melissa created an embodied practice that replaced punishment with celebration.
  • "I started weaving these things together...it brought me into this flow state." — Melissa [38:20]
• Serving Others: Coaching grew from free coffee shop sessions to a global platform—discovering that service to others alleviates suffering.
  • "The fastest way to end your own sadness… is to be in service to someone else." — Lewis [59:53]
• Vulnerability as a Bridge: Sharing her story openly has connected her with millions. "People come to me for the energy and feeling motivated...That’s what they really want. They want all of it." — Melissa [78:58]

6. Navigating Success, Growth, and Staying Aligned

• Business Growth & Its Costs: Melissa details business growth, room for mistakes, and the realization that “more” isn’t always “more.”
  • "When I really hit that peak growth...it got a little too far. I was so unhappy. I had to face feelings of why am I so uninspired?" — Melissa [66:58]
• Radical Ownership: She took responsibility for business decisions and began buying back her company to reconnect with her vision.
  • "Owning that is when I was just like...let’s get to work because nobody can fix this but me." — Melissa [70:22]

7. The Value of Neutrality, Contentment, and Next Steps

• Embracing ‘Flat’/Neutral: Melissa now finds beauty in operating from a place of neutrality after cycles of extreme highs and lows.
  • "I like highs...I can vibe with a low...but I’m not used to this [neutral]. It's so beautiful." — Melissa [74:33]
• Desire for More Speaking and Community: Her greatest joy is speaking authentically to live audiences and feels called to create regular speaking events—pushed lovingly by Lewis to take consistent, imperfect action.
  • "I feel the most me I’ve ever been when I speak." — Melissa [82:05]
  • "Don’t limit yourself…Just do it once a month. Give your heart to your community." — Lewis [88:04]

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the Perpetual Healing Journey:
  "I don't ever think you fully, completely heal traumas. That's kind of my biggest awakening today...even after all the work, new wounds come to the surface." — Melissa [04:13]

• Wearing Masks:
  "As you overcome or continue to work through—because I don't ever think you fully, completely heal traumas—that's kind of my biggest awakening today." — Melissa [04:13]

• The Power of Service:
  "The fastest way to end your own sadness and suffering is to be in service to someone else." — Lewis [59:53]

• Consistency Beats Motivation:
  "People are waiting to feel motivated… I don’t always feel motivated. I lean on my habits; your habits are the vehicle that will inspire you." — Melissa [62:25]

• Alignment Over Perfection:
  "More is not always more." — Melissa [73:49]
  "I don't want you to feel like you ‘have’ to do this, but if you feel called, the end of this year it’s happening." — Lewis [94:10]

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Unmasking & Childhood Trauma: [04:00] – [11:15]
• Self-Destructive Behaviors: [13:00] – [18:52]
• The Wake-up Call: [19:12] – [22:22]
• Starting New Practices: [31:08] – [38:20]
• Meditation & Self-Love: [36:51] – [38:20]
• Service and Healing Others: [59:53] – [62:13]
• Business Ownership & Alignment: [65:58] – [73:45]
• Embracing Neutral/Contentment: [74:33] – [75:16]
• Live Events & Speaking Vision: [77:01] – [89:37]
• Rapid-Fire: Three Truths: [95:21]
  • 1. Listen to your gut
  • 2. Open your heart
  • 3. Be exactly who you are

---

3 Truths (Melissa’s Lasting Wisdom)

1. Listen to your gut:
   "It's guiding you in ways and directions beyond anything you ever imagined."
2. Open your heart:
   "When you do, it opens the doors to everything in your life."
3. Be exactly who you are:
   "No matter what's going on around you, the more you come back to you, the more life unfolds beautifully."
   — [95:21]

---

Definition of Greatness

"Having this contentment and alignment in your life, no matter what it looks like...when you peel all of that back, it's this feeling you wake up with and you just feel so good and excited for it all. That's what living a great life is. And being a great person and just showing up with this greatness through it all." — Melissa [96:38]

---

Final Thoughts & Takeaways

• True healing is ongoing, nonlinear, and requires relentless honesty and self-compassion.
• Consistent, small daily practices (meditation, movement, service) build the foundation of a life you love.
• Authentic service to others not only uplifts them but is a powerful antidote to personal suffering.
• More isn’t always better in business or life: alignment and contentment trump external markers of success.
• Greatness is about deep, quiet alignment—not chasing perfection or public accomplishment.
• When in doubt, lead with who you really are, and serve from abundance.

---

For More from Melissa:

• melissawoodhealth.com
• Instagram: @melissawoodhealth | @melissawoodtepperberg

---

This summary captures the heart of Melissa’s journey and the wisdom distilled in this vulnerable, hopeful conversation.

Transcript

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Outdoit with Intuit QuickBooks. It's the trusted end to end solution that businesses rely on. QuickBooks provides a team of AI agents and trusted experts. So doing it yourself no longer means doing it alone. Their payment agent gets you paid faster, their customer agent secures more sales, and the accounting agent automates and categorizes transactions. Get your critical business jobs done with QuickBooks on the Intuit platform. Ah.

[Lewis Howes]

As I step into 2026, one of my big wellness goals is consistency showing up from my body, my mindset, my help every single day, even when life feels overwhelming. And that is why I love simple habits that support the bigger picture for my life. And starting off the new year strong with protein beverages at Starbucks is a big thing because Starbucks now offers a whole lineup of delicious protein beverages, including the brand new caramel protein latte, Caramel Protein Matcha, and new protein drinks with no sugar added. This is huge. You can even add protein cold foam or protein boosted milk to your favorite drink. So getting extra protein, it's naturally into your routine. My go to is the iced vanilla protein latte. It is so good at Starbucks. Ooh, that first sip feeling is amazing. Bold signature espresso with protein boosted milk and sweet vanilla flavor. This is amazing. And what's so crazy is a grande has 29 grams of protein. I mean, talk about staying consistent with your wellness goals. Now my morning iced latte can make it feel effortless to hit my protein target. For me, this is just one of those small moments every day that starts it off right, a little bit stronger and knowing I've gotten protein in my drink as well. So make sure to level up and add protein to your favorite drink. At Starbucks. The best B2B marketing gets wasted on the wrong people. So when you want to reach the right professionals, use LinkedIn ads. LinkedIn has grown to a network of over 1 billion professionals, including 130 million decision makers. That's why LinkedIn has the highest B2B ROAs of all online ad networks. Spend $250 on your first campaign on LinkedIn ads and get a free $250 credit for the next one. Just go to LinkedIn.com louis that's LinkedIn.com Lewis. Terms and conditions apply. Welcome back everyone to the School of Greatness. Very excited about our guest. We have the inspiring Melissa Wood Tepperberg in the house. So good to see you.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

I'm so happy to be here.

[Lewis Howes]

Very excited. We connected months ago. Super bowl. So what super bowl party?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Was it Super bowl or F1? It was super Bowl.

[Lewis Howes]

Super Bowl. Gary Vaynerchuk was hosting a little gathering. We met there. But I'd obviously seen your work online for the last few years as you've continued to just soar with your content, with your message, and how you're inspiring and impacting millions of people around the world, mostly assuming mostly women who kind of follow your content and who are really inspired by you. A lot of the women on my team are just like, oh, Melissa, she's so amazing and what she's doing. And so it's been cool to watch your rise, but I know that you grew up very dysfunctional, similar to me. You struggled in school and kind of cheated your way through school, similar to me, and just didn't feel like you were enough. And so therefore, similar to me, you wore masks. You projected a sense of everything's got everything put together and everything's got to look perfect and can't show people the real traumas underneath you. And you wore those masks for a long time to protect yourself, to fit in, to belong, to get ahead, whatever it might be to survive. But when did those masks start falling off for you? When did you really start to feel like, oh, I'm in a dark place. The longer and longer I hold onto this perfect image when underneath, I don't feel perfect at all?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Well, interestingly enough, I feel like I'm in this place in my life where I'm, like, ripping off a new mask right now. Right now.

[Lewis Howes]

Really?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Yes. And honestly, like, in this very moment. Because as you overcome or continue to work through. Right. Because I don't ever think you fully, completely heal traumas. And that's kind of my biggest awakening today is like, even after all the work, it's like. And I love the work. I love the process. I've learned to be in the process, but I'm just discovering new things and new wounds have come to the surface. And I think when you get to a place of where you are really elevating and you're shifting into a different gear, like, it's amazing what kind of shows its face to, like, knock you down, in a sense. And almost like, I think about it as, like, how bad do I really want. How bad do I really want to continue this quest of becoming? And I grew up in a very dysfunctional upbringing. I have four sisters. My baby brother was born when I was 15. My dad remarried. But it was just this endless cycle of survival and doing anything that you can to, you know, for me, I'm the middle child of the five and.

[Lewis Howes]

I'm assuming it wasn't, like, survival. Like, we don't have food and shelter survival, but emotional survival.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Emotional survival. And we did grow up very poor, so it was scarcity mindset. And, you know, my mom worked so many jobs. My dad worked so many jobs, and it was like, no matter what, there was never really enough, so.

[Lewis Howes]

And money, it was always, like, a stress around money problems.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Always, always a stress around money. And I was very observant to that. I was so aware of how our surroundings made my mom feel. And I knew since the age of seven that I could help or I could ease some stress. And for me, that was, like, stepping in, like, the household and cleaning, like, doing all the chores, helping my sisters with their homework, even, like, I made this. I had. We had this chalkboard, and I would, like, make a list of all the things that we had to do. My sisters despised me growing up because I was super bossy, and I just felt like someone had to step in. And I just, like. I remember that feeling at such a young age. And I think when you embody that energy, it's so wildly disruptive for your nervous system. And when you're in it, like, when I was living in Syracuse, I just, like, I did all the things that I could to just, like, push it down and.

[Lewis Howes]

What things?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Well, I was embarrassed that, you know, we didn't have a lot of money. When we would go, like, when we would get clothes for school, it was like, we got one outfit, and then, you know, I would be the one curating the look so that my sisters and I could swap looks so that we. It looked like we had more money. Yeah. More clothes. And the emotional stuff, you know, when your parents aren't showing up for, like. I remember this. Oh, my God, so vividly. I was in second grade, and it was like Parents Day. And the song Don't Worry, Be Happy was on.

[Lewis Howes]

Wow.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

And we were going around in a circle, and every kid had their parent. And I just, like. I remember being alone and just, like, not having my parents show up. And I was so embarrassed, but I was so hurt. And I wanted to cry, but I wouldn't because I didn't want other people to see. And, you know, I always tried to make, like, oh, yeah, no, no, my mom couldn't come. And I don't even know if my mom remembered, but I remember the teacher holding my hand and, like, walking around with me and, like, just trying and those things. For me, it was like. It was constantly those types of things or, you know, at A softball game and your parents not showing up or for getting to pick you up. And just, you know, they had a lot of kids and a lot of responsibility. But it's. When you're a child, it deeply affects you.

[Lewis Howes]

Isn't it fascinating that you still remember that today? And it's like these memories we keep with us. And, you know, you're a parent now. I'm not a parent yet, but I can only imagine. Like, I'm sure you try to show up to everything you can. You try to be there for them everything you can. But then there might be some amazing business opportunity where you're like, oh, do I go do this thing? And then have the babysitter or the nurse make sure they take them to school that day? But then is that the thing they're gonna Remember when they're 40? And is that their trauma gonna be like, everyone else's parents were there and mine didn't show up. Cause she had a business meeting or whatever. It's like, you probably can't win as a parent. No matter how hard you try, there's gonna be some wound or some memory. Because at 7, 8, 10 years old, you don't have a lot of life. And that's like, such a big moment for your life. It's such a pressure for a parent.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

I bet it is. And I think as I've become a parent, I am. Oh, my God. It, like, changed my relationship with my parents. And then sometimes that changes again. But it helps you to really understand how freaking hard it is and have.

[Lewis Howes]

Compassion for your parents. Yeah.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

And like, they didn't have the me. They didn't. And even just, like, I think of the mindfulness movement, I'm like, I don't think those conversations were.

[Lewis Howes]

They didn't have time. In survival mode, you don't have time to be mindful.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

No.

[Lewis Howes]

You're just, what do I need to do right now to survive emotionally? You know, and maybe financially or physically or whatever. You're in survival. You don't have the time to say, let me breathe. Let my nervous system relax. We don't have that privilege in survival mode. And even if you have financial stability, but your parents are emotionally up and down constantly, you're still gonna feel in survival mode emotionally. Is it safe to be in this home? And that's kind of how I felt. It was like every week there was slamming or screaming or just dis Ease within my parents. I knew that they loved us, but they didn't love each other.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Yeah, same.

[Lewis Howes]

And they tried, but it was just constant friction where you're just like, what's going to happen today when I come home from school? I don't know.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Yeah. Oh, I rode the same bus.

[Lewis Howes]

It's traumatic, right?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

It's so traumatic.

[Lewis Howes]

Very traumatic. So. And you mentioned in the beginning about how healing and inner growth is a lifelong journey. And it sounds like. I don't want to assume, but it sounds like around 10 years ago when you were starting your business, you were kind of in early phases of a healing journey for yourself. Is that accurate? Somewhere around there, you started to uncover things and unmask things within yourself and you went down more of a spiritual, holistic path, right?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Yes, I would say it was a little bit longer than that. More of like almost like 17, 15 years of that. But, you know, moving to New York. So I like, moved to. It was like the first time I came here, I was like, oh, oh. I still feel that way every day. Every day.

[Lewis Howes]

It's amazing, right?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

I've been here for 18 years and I still get this, like, it's epic.

[Lewis Howes]

When you walk outside and you're in the streets and just the energy.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

I love it.

[Lewis Howes]

It's incredible.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

It can support or swallow you though.

[Lewis Howes]

Yeah. And it sounds like it swallowed you the first few years.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Oh my God. I was swallowed. And then spit back up at least. Oh, oh, oh, yeah.

[Lewis Howes]

What did you get caught up in in the first few years of being in New York that really messed you up?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Well, I moved here. I drove a U Haul here with a friend.

[Lewis Howes]

And where'd you move to in this city?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

This teeny tiny little apartment on the upper east side. 61st and first, but still living the dream.

[Lewis Howes]

You're like, I'm in the city.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Oh, yeah. No, I thought. But at first, like, we didn't have an apartment. I was sleeping on someone's couch. It was like a whole process. I didn't even have a bed. I had a mattress on a floor. It was without a. It was like half the size of this.

[Lewis Howes]

Living like a 22 year old, you know, living a dream. You don't need much.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

I didn't. And I still like. I'm just like, how did I do it? So whenever I start to question my. For anything, I'm like, girl, yeah, you can do anything.

[Lewis Howes]

Sure.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

You know, and it is that constant reminder. Cause like all the things come in. Imposter syndrome and all those limited beliefs. But when I shut that door after moving away from it all and being with myself, honestly, in a sense of peace and quiet somewhat in New York, City in New York City. Right. But, like, it was just away from all that chaos was the first time I was, like. I felt all the waves of it. Like, it was, like, definitely a panic attack, I believe, because I think at that time, I didn't even really know what anxiety was, but I was like, nope. And, like, shut the door to it. And, like, that was my, like, running away. That was the start of running away from myself, running away from all the stuff that came up. And that really, you know, translated to, like, going out, drinking, drinking late, and then was numbing yourself, binge eating. Numbing.

[Lewis Howes]

Numbing yourself.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Yeah, numbing.

[Lewis Howes]

Were you drinking, like, every week or every day or.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

I was definitely drinking a lot on the weekend because I worked at the Chanel counter in Bloomingdale's, so I was, like, working, you know, really long hours on my feet. So, like, the nights that I had off, I would go out and I would just, like, rage. And I was a very different person when I drank. My anger really came out. Oh, yeah.

[Lewis Howes]

Wow. So what your anger would come out was in the clubs and you would, like, scream at people or just be a nasty girl or, like, what would it be like?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Yeah. Like, if someone, like, pissed me off, I would, like. I've always been a little quick on the tongue, a little rough around the edges.

[Lewis Howes]

You step up. Yeah. Yeah.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

And I was just. It was like, all my inner pain would come out.

[Lewis Howes]

Yeah.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

And then when all of that started to rise and even, like, dating guys, like, I would get physical sometimes, and that was just, you know, things I saw. I was repeating every pattern. And then it was, you know, when I would feel like it was too much and I couldn't face the pain. That was when I started binging, like, heavily. Eating, Eating. And then I would. You know, I also wanted to model. So it's like eating your face off and then thinking about, well, they want you to lose £15. So then I started purging, and this was something I did for a handful of years that no one knew about. I was really, really good. Really? Yeah.

[Lewis Howes]

So, I mean, not hiding my pain, really. So purging, I mean, growing up, what is. It's. It's not. It's not comfortable to do.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Oh, my God.

[Lewis Howes]

You know, it's the worst feeling. You feel better, like, 10 minutes later.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

It's like, my heart hurts. Thank you.

[Lewis Howes]

But the only. The only time it is good is when you have an upset stomach. But you didn't have an upset stomach. Maybe you're eating too much, but you weren't like sick in the stomach, like oh you had some weird food that you're throwing up. So what is that like psychologically when you're like okay, I just ate too much or I just want to look skinnier and need to lose weight. But I'm numbing myself by eating because I am protecting myself. I feel ashamed of past or I feel whatever, I'm anxious so I'm numbing myself by eating. But now I feel shameful and guilty that I ate so I need to get purge it.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

It's a vicious cycle.

[Lewis Howes]

Really.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Yeah, it's really. And I felt like I deserved it.

[Lewis Howes]

Deserved what?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

To feel that pain.

[Lewis Howes]

Yeah.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Because I was like putting myself through that and then it was like you need to. It was a lot of like getting rid of the feelings. But I didn't know this at the time. I was just trying to get rid of you know, what was physically inside of me but it was so emotionally tied and through my lowest of lows of going out and you know this is when I was binge drinking and then it was binge eating and then I started experimenting with some drugs. Thank God it was short lived and I had my wake me up moment of just feeling complete disgust with myself. Yeah. Just I was so done. I could no longer continue that path.

[Lewis Howes]

How old were you now?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

This was mid-20s. I was like it was.

[Lewis Howes]

You were here for a few years. You were in a cycle of just like shame or beat up and binge eating, binge drinking, starting to try little drugs here and there and being up till 5, 6am at nightclubs. Yeah.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

The sun coming up and it was just on my knees over the toilet, just disgusting. And I mean I remember, I remember just like getting up, looking in the mirror and being like I hate you.

[Lewis Howes]

Wow.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Like I had so much hate towards myself and I was just, I just had like tears rolling down my face and I was like I don't, I don't want this anymore. I don't want to live like this. I can't live like this because it's going to end badly. I could feel it. And I also knew carrying down that road was like the easy way out because I was so good at taking everything down in my path. But like you didn't know it but like I was like mass destruction was a skill that I could, that I had mastered.

[Lewis Howes]

Really. But you were looked good on the outside.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

People are always surprised by this stuff and that's honestly why I share it and why I felt I needed to because.

[Lewis Howes]

But you were good at hiding it though, right? You were good at being, like, very good. Okay, it's noon the next day. I'm put together.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Lewis Howes]

It's fine. I'm happy.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Yes. And then, you know, that moment there is when I so vividly saw, like, these two roads of life, right? And this, like, gorgeous tree in the middle. And I just so vividly remember this moment. And it was like, you can keep going here, and we know where that's going to end up. Or you can. You can choose to create this different path for yourself. And it's going to be really hard because it's going to be everything you don't know, but it can. It's like the path of, like, waking you the up. And I just remember I was like, okay, I want it, but I need help. And that was the biggest moment for me because from being a little girl who thought that she could fix every single thing and, like, I carried the weight of everyone and my siblings and I have always been the savior and coming in and trying to do all the things and, you know, buying my parents the house and, like, anything that I could do to save everyone, but I was. I was just not saving myself. So it was this moment of, like, giving over and not relying on my own strength for the first time in my freaking life. And that was like. That was like the. The doors opened.

[Lewis Howes]

If you need a tissue, that's right behind you. Sorry. Yeah. Yeah. Kill her. Gap. Wow. This episode is brought to you by Apple Watch. With each new year, big goals are set, big promises get made, and then right around the second Friday of January, Quitters Day, most resolutions start to fade. And in fact, most people give up by the second Friday of the year. And it's time to break that pattern with Apple Watch, designed to make 2026 all about quitting. Quitting. It brings motivation into the moments when it matters most. With tools like the workout app, pace alerts, and activity rings. Whether your goal is moving more, staying active throughout the day, or building better habits, Apple Watch emphasizes progress. With features that nudge, remind, and support consistency. It tracks the ways the body moves, celebrates goals as they're reached, and helps create momentum that lasts past January. And as the new year begins, staying committed becomes less about perfection and more about not giving up. Find out [e-mail] Apple Watchseries 11, iPhone 11 or later required.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Ah.

[Lewis Howes]

As I step into 2026, one of my big wellness goals is consistency. Showing up from my body, my mindset, my help, every single day, even when life feels overwhelming. And that is why I love simple habits that support the bigger picture for my life. And starting off the new year strong with protein beverages at Starbucks is a big thing because Starbucks now offers a whole lineup of delicious protein beverages, including the brand new caramel protein latte, Caramel Protein Matcha, and new protein drinks with no sugar added. This is huge. You can even add protein cold foam or protein boosted milk to your favorite drink. So getting extra protein, it's naturally into your routine. My go to is the iced vanilla protein latte. It is so good at Starbucks. Ooh, that first sip feeling is amazing. Bold signature espresso with protein boosted milk and sweet vanilla flavor. This is amazing. And what's so crazy is a grande has 29 grams of protein. I mean, talk about staying consistent with your wellness goals. Now my morning iced latte can make it feel feel effortless to hit my protein target. For me, this is just one of those small moments every day that starts it off right a little bit stronger and knowing I've gotten protein in my drink as well. So make sure to level up and add protein to your favorite drink at Starbucks. A new year and the colder days are here. This is when your winter wardrobe really has to step up. If you're craving a fresh start, it helps to have a few pieces you can count on. Stuff that looks good, feels good, and lasts seasons after season. And that's why I like quints. They focus on premium materials, thoughtful design and quality you can actually feel. So getting dressed stays simple all winter. Their outerwear is especially impressive. Everything is made with high quality materials from trusted factories that meet strong standards for craftsmanship and ethical production. So it holds up and looks great. And it's not just clothes. Quince also has great stuff for your home. Martha and I have the European linen duvet cover set, and it's super soft and comfy. It makes our bedroom feel calm and cozy, especially on cold nights. Refresh your winter wardrobe with quince. Go to quince.comlewis for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q U I n c e.com Louis Free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com Louis so you're in your mid-20s. You have, I guess, you know, a darkness that continues for months or years until there's a moment where you're like, okay, there's two roads I can take. I've had a few of those moments in my life, so I know that feeling of having to make a decision. Yes, and you Know, I grew up when I was eight, my brother went to prison. So every weekend for four and a half years, we would go as a family to visit, you know, during visiting hours. And I saw my life starting to go down that as well. When I was 13, I had to make a decision. And I remember saying, do I want to end up in prison? You know, because if I keep doing these things, which were not massive at the time, but will build, it builds, it'll build. And you're gonna keep getting in trouble and bad things are gonna happen.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Bad things are gonna happen.

[Lewis Howes]

Bad things are gonna happen. And do I wanna live that life and deal with that pain and shame? And I just saw what that will, you know, And I saw all the other convicts in the. And I got to know them and the traumas and the pain that they caused their families from bad decisions. And it was just like, do I want that or not? And so you had this in your mid-20s and you knew that you couldn't do it all on your own anymore. And you said, I needed support.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Yes.

[Lewis Howes]

So what did you allow yourself to do after that?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

I called my friend and asked for her therapist number. I was like, I need help. I need your therapist. And that was the start. But I lied to my. I mean, I like, lied to my therapist. I was taking Adderall, you know, I, like, I did want help, but it is really hard to break the cycle.

[Lewis Howes]

Sure. Yeah.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

And to break the patterns. And I was lying. And she. She was strong. She was like the mother that I always kind of like needed to anchor me and call me out on my tough love. Super tough love. So, you know, I would come in, I'll like, Adderall'd out. And I was like buying Adderall. It was just. It was like I got rid of one thing and I was just looking for the next.

[Lewis Howes]

So you said you wanted help, but really inside of you, you're like, eh, I still can do this myself. And I'm not gonna give everyone the full picture.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

I think I did really want help. But when you are so used to attaching yourself to chaotic things to keep moving forward, it takes time.

[Lewis Howes]

Well, it doesn't feel safe to be in a safe space. Cause you're not familiar with it.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

I don't even know what that.

[Lewis Howes]

So harmony doesn't feel safe.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Right.

[Lewis Howes]

Peace doesn't feel safe.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

No. Because you're like, wait, what's going to happen?

[Lewis Howes]

Something's about to happen.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Yeah.

[Lewis Howes]

Where's the chaos? You're always looking for it because you're so used to it. It's familiar. So when safe isn't safe and you don't know how to feel calm in harmony, you're always looking to recreate chaos. Whether it be in a relationship or whether it be in your own life or addictions or whatever it might be.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Oh, and I was very good at. If the chaos wasn't there, I will bring it.

[Lewis Howes]

Isn't that interesting?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Oh my God. In relationships, things with friends work, like being able to really self reflect and see where you are. Just a disaster in disguise. Like, it is hard work. And I will be so honest with you today, like I still to this day wake up and my first thought first from the moment I wake my eyes after doing this work for so many years goes to a dark place.

[Lewis Howes]

Really?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Yes. But I now know how to get myself out. And it's just, it's. I think when it's so embedded in your nervous system, it, it takes so much time to get yourself out of that place. And I know now I know when I'm, I know when I'm bringing it. I know when I'm being self destructive and I'm definitely so far from that part of me. But she's in there, let me tell you. And I have great access to her if I need her, but which is also a good thing, which I've learned to really embrace and love and be like, you are one fiery pistol. God knows if we need it, it's there and the access is quick. But I don't, I'm just being honest.

[Lewis Howes]

You know, what is the first thought that comes to you on a daily basis when you wake up or on a typical day, where does that dark thought?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

It's like the overwhelm. It's just like, oh my God. You know, it's just, it's that immediate almost like being on that wheel of anxiety. But I step off now and I'm like, no, no. You know, and this is where I've cultivated this practice and this connection with source and knowing that I can connect at any moment and anytime. And that is what helps me see like the light of day. And I, you know, I shared this once on I was doing a Q and A and I shared this and it was like the most viewed thing I had. And I realized that there is still that part of me, right, that wants to like make things look really pretty with a bow. And of course I've cracked myself open, but there's still so much. And I think that is where I'm at right now today, where I'm like, I am so done just, like, ripping off these masks and really just being so radically transparent with myself, but also with people who are ready to do it for themselves, too, because it's not just for me. And I think that's where this work has fueled something in me that I've always known was in there since I was a little girl. But it's. It's this choice every single day. Like, to this day, it's like I'm choosing. I'm choosing to stay devoted to myself.

[Lewis Howes]

So when you started, you know, kind of waking up from doing destructive things into creating a more healthy lifestyle for yourself 15, 17 years ago, and you went down that journey and you started these healthy practices, you said, okay, I'm gonna reach out for support. I'm gonna find a therapist, even though I'm still lying to my therapist. I'm the steps, though, and I'm like, in the work. And then what else did you start doing to develop a healthy practice for yourself? Were you still nightclubs and modeling and doing these things that weren't supporting you, or were you removing yourself as well from environments?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

So instead of. For me, instead of focusing on removing one thing that really helped me when I was in it, and still when I feel overwhelmed, it's like, what can I add in to help make me feel just an ounce more at ease? And when my therapist started really calling me out on things, then it was like, okay, I can't even lie to her. I just have to be honest. So it was like, that shtick was old. I couldn't do that anymore. But then I was finding I was feeling this, like, I need to be told. Like, I need to be told what to do. So I started seeing a health coach. And I remember the first time I walked in, and I was like, okay, give me the diet. Like, that I was in that mindset of, like, tell me the thing. I'll do it, and then I'll see results. And, you know, I was trying to lose weight because I wanted to be a model. And at this point, I had gotten signed by a top agency, but it was like, I lost, like, 15 pounds. And I lost 15 pounds. And then it was just this long road of torture because I thought that I was very into fitness and very into wellness, but my relationship to myself was still so disconnected that I was looking outside of myself for all of the resources. So I was taking what a trainer would tell me to do. You needed to do 45 minutes of cardio, and then 45 minutes to an Hour of strength training and I became psychotic with that. So it was like every day an hour of this, and I was working out two hours a day, writing down every morsel of food. It was so obsessive.

[Lewis Howes]

It's exhausting too.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

It was exhausting. It was unwellness.

[Lewis Howes]

Did you feel like you were getting when you looked in the mirror? Were you like, oh, this is working though? Or were you like, I'm still not getting the results I want.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

So when I was in the height of really just, it was like micromanaging every single thing. I did get really, really thin, but it was unhealthy and I just looked. It was painful.

[Lewis Howes]

You didn't feel healthy?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

No, I didn't feel healthy. And then. Plus, when you're suffering from an eating disorder, the flip can happen too. Where then I started gaining a lot of weight. Yeah, I was like. When I was doing all the crazy workouts, hiit workouts and running myself into the ground, I was actually at my heaviest.

[Lewis Howes]

Really?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Yes, because it was just your body.

[Lewis Howes]

Can'T handle it all.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Pumping my body with cortisol. I was so stressed out going into workouts, stressed out leaving. And that was like a big moment in my life. I remember so vividly leaving a super popular class with a popular instructor. And there's no shame because things work differently for people. And I think that this is where we need to cultivate these relationships with ourselves and see what really makes you feel in harmony with yourself. And I just remember I like got off the train, 14th street, and I was walking and I was like, I feel horrible. How am I paying to feel worse? What is wrong? And I was just like, I think I'm just. I was just searching. And then I started meditating. I felt this.

[Lewis Howes]

How old are you now, roughly?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

So this was at this point, I. It was like 12 years, 15 years ago. I'm 41. You do the math.

[Lewis Howes]

26, 27, exactly.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Late 20s. And I still felt this. Although I was slowly. It was like becoming more self aware, like patching things up as I was going. But I felt that I was. I was just out here for all the answers. Tell me and I'll do the thing. And I was covered in cystic acne.

[Lewis Howes]

Really.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

I had horrifying cystic pimples all over my face, my neck, down my back. And I did everything. It was like I saw every dermatologist. I did Accutane. It was just. It was awful. And now I realize, like, that was my. How I internalized my anxiety for so many years. Coming out in my skin. It was the stress. It with a combination of products I was using and food for sure environment. But it was my nervous system, like screaming, trying to bang on my door. And I just felt like, you know what? I've gotta go in here. I've gotta almost. Because I think when you are so dysregulated, you don't even know what home and safety is. So there was just this feeling that I felt I needed to take all of that and come in here.

[Lewis Howes]

Wow. So you started meditating.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

I started meditating. I've meditated every day since. Wow. And that's how I'm here. And I can tell you that for a fact. I know that with everything inside of me because it was the thing that help me see myself for the first time for like who I really was and not any Persona or facade that I had put on. And I was really interested in wellness, but because my relationship with myself was still so dysfunctional. It was the thing that helped me look in the mirror and like find so much like deep love, like true love for me and for my skin and loving myself through my acne and not being at my happy weight. And it just helped me. It was like almost like just like defogging the lens and everything got like a little bit brighter.

[Lewis Howes]

Wow. How much on a scale of 1 to 10 before this, what was your self love scale? 10. Being like you really loved yourself from an authentic conscious place. One being you hated yourself. Like, where were you on that scale?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

I was probably like a 3, 4. The work that I was doing from like a. From like a 1, 2. So like I was. And that set doesn't sound like progress, but it is.

[Lewis Howes]

Yeah.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Yeah. And I think that's the thing that I.

[Lewis Howes]

You really hated yourself before that?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

I hated myself because of my actions.

[Lewis Howes]

Yeah.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

I wasn't proud.

[Lewis Howes]

You were out of like alignment with yourself.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Complete, completely disaligned. And when you can, you know, I was. It was very much focused on the physical. And then once I realized that I could regulate from bringing some calm to my mind, even just a little bit. Wow. Then I started moving differently. And this is when I started understanding, like, no wonder why, like, I don't like those classes are not working for me because they make me feel really stressed out and anxious and they bring out all that stuff that I'm like really working towards shifting. And then I started blending elements of Pilates and yoga and it was like I was just weaving these things together. But it felt like this like inner dance with myself. But it felt good, right? And I was not punishing myself for what I ate anymore. And I was just literally in flow, like it brought me in this flow state. And at this time, I didn't even have 10,000 followers on Instagram. But I just felt this, like, it was like, I have no idea how, what, where, like, what you're gonna do, but like, you have to share this and you have to share this because you have to come back to that seven year old little girl who was looking outside the window when your dad drove away. When my parents separated and I felt like this is it. Like, this is unfortunately, like, this is the car that I've been dealt with and this is my life. And I think so many people who come from broken situations or even bad marriages feel like this is it and it's not it. And you can change the course of your life at any point. Every moment is an opportunity to begin again, to do something different than you did the day before. That just helps you feel so deeply connected to yourself. And you know, I talk a lot about meditation and movement and that is how I created a platform. But as I'm at this point in my life today, it's from being so connected to whatever it is you connect to. But to me, it's the creator. It's this higher power, so much greater than me. And when I close my eyes and I meditate and I go in and I bring the energy to my heart, it's like I feel so surrounded and so safe and just reminded that I am being divinely guided. And we all are when we can get ourselves to just take a moment. And I mean, I did it in the morning, for 20 minutes this morning before speaking. I always like to really, really ground. So 20 minutes is like, I love that. However, that doesn't always happen. I am so consistent. But I'm super flexible. You have to be. Because I was crazy with all the things before and I'm not disciplined. I don't even love the word. It doesn't work for my nervous system because it makes me feel like I'm rigid and I write things down. I need to track and I need to how many macros and micro. And I'm just like, I don't know and I don't care. But when I'm feeling this, where I'm feeling this aliveness and this excitement for. Honestly, like, it's so interesting because I feel like I've been through so much, so many deep challenges with work and just all of the things that come with being an Entrepreneur. But I am so, so excited for no reason. It feels so good just to be like, show me, like, guide me. And through staying so deeply connected is what has just continued me on this path of like cracking me open. Had me set up that $24 tripod I got on Amazon, setting up my phone. I had no lights, no camera, no zero editing. I mean, I literally would. I would press play and I'd be like, hi. And I would go and I'd run back on my mat and then I'd be like, okay, today. And I would just like do the thing that I did myself. But I brought people along with me. And then the more that I started doing it, it was like people were like, can you do that longer? Like, where can I get this clip? And you know, it was like Instagram stories when I first came to life and then I just felt this. I was like, I need a home for these humans who want the same thing. We all want it. We all want to be. You know, when I come back to, like, my why every day, I just want to wake people up to this inner strength within themselves. That's it. That's what I have to do for myself every single day. And through sharing it, it was just like, it was crazy. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe that I was connecting with people all over the world who were like, thank you so much. And they were writing me these letters and I'm sobbing and you know, at this point I'm pregnant with my son and also coming to this place of like, I know what it feels like to be brought up in a disconnected home and like, wanting to be so connected to it all. Whether it was a little chaotic or completely, you know, a sense of calm, I just, I wanted to be with it.

[Lewis Howes]

Yeah.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

And it's just been this incredible journey of what's next.

[Lewis Howes]

That's incredible. The thing that I'm hearing you say, which I really love, is that when you started to. It Sounds like your 7 year old self was screaming at you during your adult life, when you were doing things out of alignment with what she wanted. Right. When you weren't protecting her, when you weren't showing up for her, she was screaming at you in different ways. She was like the acne was coming out. You're going against your body by binge eating or binge drinking or late nights, all these different things. And she didn't feel safe with you as an adult trying to take care of her because you weren't taking care of her. And so she felt unsafe. Right. And when you treat your inner child poorly as an adult, bad things happen in your life or you don't feel good. Right. And you're not attracting abundance, you're not setting yourself up to be able to manifest your vision. You're not bringing the right relationships in your life necessarily. And things feel off, you feel out of alignment because you're not taking care of the inner being inside of you that needs cared for. And what it sounds like I'm hearing you say is when you said, okay, these two paths I can take continued destruction or, you know, reconnecting to self and doing better choices, that's when you started and you started to really be present with yourself and take time to listen to the still small voice, which is God, I think, and also your inner child.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Yes.

[Lewis Howes]

It's almost like the voices of both combining and saying, what does the inner child need and what is God directing me to do?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Love. Exactly.

[Lewis Howes]

And when you are able to meditate for a minute or 20 minutes a day, or however long you do on a daily basis, you can hear the decisions you need to take today and you can be guided on what you need to do in the next step. Even though you don't know what's to come, or you feel I'm uncertain, or what's the future gonna bring? When you can listen to yourself and where you're guided, you can take action on what is needed today. And it sounds like you've been doing that for now, 10, 15 years. And by doing so and continuing to be in alignment with your intuition, by serving your inner child and by serving the higher power for yourself, abundance and manifestation becomes easy, easier. And you just said like, I didn't even have 10,000 followers. I just started taking these actions and doing what felt right to me and being consistent for 10, 15 years. And because of that consistent, integrated, authentic actions, it's like, ah, manifesting everything. I'm on the COVID of these magazines and this is growing and audiences and wow, these things are just happening for me. Right, but if you were going down destructive paths, this wouldn't be happening.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

No, of course not. And that's why I say, I know I am here because of my practice.

[Lewis Howes]

Yes.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Because my practice keeps me grounded to myself. It keeps me completely locked in with what matters most to me. You know, Donald, I just want to scream out into this canyon and tell the whole world, T mobile's got home Internet.

[Lewis Howes]

Do it, Zack. T mobile's got home Internet. Let me try. T mobile's got home Internet. How much is it just 35 bucks.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

A month and it's guaranteed for five years.

[Lewis Howes]

Switching T Mobile's got home Internet, just 35 bucks a month with auto pay and any voice line and it's guaranteed for 5 years. Taxes will be supplied t mobile.com isb for details and exclusions. Okay, so now that Martha and I are expecting, we've been having a lot of fun dreaming up the perfect nursery setup. Well, she's been dreaming it up more than me, but I've been supporting her in that dream. And everyone has a different dream for their home. For some, it's a dining room ready for big lively gatherings. For others, it's a cozy and intimate retreat. And IKEA's wide selection makes every kind of dream possible. From full kitchen remodels to the perfect finishing touch. IKEA has it all, including the gear to build a dream podcast studio, like sound absorbing panels. Find your big dreams, small dreams and cozy retreat dreams in store or online at ikea.us dream the possibilities.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

And like, the thing that matters most to me in my life is having peaceful balance, peaceful harmony in my life, in my workplace, in my relationship with my family, with my friends, with every single thing that I do. And it's so interesting, the more that I just kind of like, give over because I. I can be a little bossy. Definitely bossy.

[Lewis Howes]

You like my team when they're watching, they know.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

No, they know. But I'm not a micromanager, but I am a number 8 on the enneagram, and that has really helped me understand as an active controller. That's why I've remained the CEO no matter what. Every single person told me that I needed to hire a CEO, I just, it never felt 100%. I've tried and tested a lot of things that were other people's ideas, and let me tell you, they don't work. I hate to say it, and that's where I'm not always right, but when something feels completely wrong or I have nothing, do nothing.

[Lewis Howes]

Do nothing.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Nothing. I'm in such a flat place right now and I feel, oh, my God.

[Lewis Howes]

What do you mean? Like you're not taking on new projects or you're not like, launching new stuff or what?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

I'm just, I am beam. And it's wild what happens.

[Lewis Howes]

Yes.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

It'S so interesting because there is this part, like, I've tried things, I've had pr, I've done all of these things. And I think when your mission is so big and you want to really spread your message as far and as Wide, you try things and even when it feels against the grain. But I am such a sensitive, energetic person that I've just really learned that I have to listen to that. And when something just feels like even an ounce of force, like, listen, I could have pitched, you know, had Dylan on my team reach out to everyone on all the pod. But I'm like, no, that is not the way for me. It's through true, authentic connections. And like, I just know that. Right. It's like we met in the way that we were meant to meet. You reached out so flu, by the way. It was so nice. I was like, ah, this is just like, so me, like, so organic. And it felt raw. And that's when I think the most incredible things come into your life. When you're not gripping or forcing. Or forcing.

[Lewis Howes]

Yeah. And trusting the timing of things.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Yes.

[Lewis Howes]

You know, I tell my fiance, Martha, I love her. She's always like, I wish we would have met like, 10 years ago. Like, we would have had such a. Like our life would have been so much better and we wouldn't have been through so much pain and relationship breakups and stuff like that. And I'm like, I wouldn't have looked at you the same way 10 years ago because I wasn't ready for you. I wasn't. I wasn't ready to be in a loving, peaceful relationship. Like, I wasn't ready. I would have been like, oh, you're like an attractive, like, beautiful girl who's really talented, but you don't have enough wounds for me. You know, it's like, you're not something. You're not a project. I need to, like, fix, help out or something. Right. And I wasn't attracted to that. I wasn't attracted to peace. Oh, so I would have created, you know, I would have hurt you probably. You know, I'd have probably done something wrong or I'd have been like, ah, you know, whatever. I just wouldn't have been ready.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

That's so honest. It's so.

[Lewis Howes]

And I needed, like, I needed to go through my own healing journey to feel ready for peace because I didn't have peace inside of me still. And so I needed to be peace before I could have peace in my environment. And she's like, oh, that makes sense, you know, but timing is everything.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

I agree with that.

[Lewis Howes]

And, you know, until sometimes we could have breakdowns, unfortunately, like, you had a big breakdown when you're in your mid-20s, then you were ready for a breakthrough. Right. And unfortunately, it wasn't sooner. You know, we all Wish it was like, we had peace and less pain and sadness and things we did poorly sooner. But timing is everything when you can trust in a higher power. So do you believe in God?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

I do. For me, it's like, it is this. It's a higher power.

[Lewis Howes]

Yeah. And where was your life when you weren't believing in a higher power versus where you do now?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

I mean, it was disconnected.

[Lewis Howes]

Yeah.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

There was no anchor, and there was no contentment. Like, just, like, feeling never happier. Oh, my God. Contentment is such a.

[Lewis Howes]

Never good enough, right?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Never good enough. No, no, no, no. And, I mean, I relate so much to your story with Marta, who I love, by the way. She's amazing. With Noah, like, Noah, I feel like he was, like, a saving grace in my life because he's so calm, he's so grounded. He's like, everything that I just was so unknown for me, and it was a massive part of me being able to drop into myself and to really go deep and do the work, because I felt safe with him. And I felt this safe sense in my life that really, I think when you do have that. And it's very important that while he brought so many elements of that, I was discovering it within myself. I wasn't. Look, I. Oh, by the way, when we first started dating, I was like, he's gonna save me. Thank God. I need to be saved. I thought he was gonna save me. He was gonna, like. And then he wasn't really. Yes. I remember, like, he would wake up in the morning, and he was, like, so happy, and he would, like, be so excited for his day, and I would. I hated what I was doing.

[Lewis Howes]

Wow.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

And I was just like, how do you feel like that? And, like, how do you find your thing? Like, I was so. I was like. The grip was so tight, and I was just searching, and he was like, just try to. And I have it. I still. It's hard for me to focus. Definitely undiagnosed adhd. I mean, it's just. It's there. But he said if you can just, like, pay attention to, like, the thing that you're interested in. And for me now, it's like, pay attention to the thing that, like, lights you up, and just give it a little focus. Focus a little bit on it. And I was like, okay. And I'm like, what does he mean? Like, I'm fit modeling. And then it was funny because during my. Like, I would be fitting all day, and I, like, worked as a fit model for years, but I was, like, making bank and guaranteed cash.

[Lewis Howes]

Good money every day.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

It was amazing money. And I wasn't, like, a big model, but I was like, I don't even care anymore. Because that was exhausting trying with all these supermodels in the room anyway. Like, at least I'm making money.

[Lewis Howes]

You're in a room, and they're, like, fitting, like, the jeans and the shirts to you.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Exactly.

[Lewis Howes]

You don't have to, like, be on for photography to, like, be in the world stage. It's actually not like Runway modeling. You're just like, I get to hang out. And the designers are just, like, fitting to me. And I'm getting good money.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

I was making great money. And I just remember, like, when things really kind of turned on where, you know, I would go to my fittings, and maybe the tech designer was like, I'm feeling really tired. And I'm like, well, what is the first thing? Like, well, how do you go to bed? And what is the first thing you do when you wake up? And then it was like, I was coaching. I started coaching, but I loved it. And then it was like, so when you're unhappy in a situation, or if you don't love your job right now, bring a little joy to the job. You gotta dig a little deep. And like, that when I started doing that, wow, first of all, the lights go on. And I was like, I am so. I love helping people. And I was just like, a little thing. I'm like, well, take magnesium. Turn the lights down. Put your phone away. And it's like, nothing's changed. I'm still sharing all of these things. But then I started working. So I went to the Institute for Integrative Nutrition online. The online course. And that for me was like, I didn't even wanna do it because I hated school. And I was like, oh, God, you have to take tests. And they're like, it's open book test. But I'm. Or, you know, and I still was like, oh, my God. Just the idea of taking a test gives me severe anxiety. But I was like, you know what? I'm gonna challenge myself. And I remember Noah saying, let me get it for you. Let me pay for the course. And I said, no, thank you, but I have to do it for myself. If I let you pay, I'm just gonna be like, oh, whatever. I knew that. So I was like, I have to earn that. That's gonna be game.

[Lewis Howes]

You need to invest in it.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

I needed to invest. So doing that. And then I started coaching people for free. I. You know, I would meet them in coffee Shops. And then I. I was. I, like, pitched myself to this integrative doctor. I was. He'd never worked with health coaches before he hired me. I was the first. First health coach he ever hired. Dr. Morrison, big shout out to you. Thanks for believing in me. And now he. You know, they have health coaches in their practice, but it was like, listening to that, like, the focus for me really helped me understand that, like, okay, I couldn't leave my job because I was making great money. But on the evening, maybe, like, a couple evenings a week, I put. Dedicated a little time. And then the evenings became weekends, and then the weekend became. And then I had people who wanted to pay me, and then I was getting all these offers, and then that was really it. Like, that was when I was like, I think I can literally do this.

[Lewis Howes]

Live off this. Yeah.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

And I started coaching full time, and I loved it, but I knew there was something missing. And I'm in that place right now, and it's so fun.

[Lewis Howes]

What was missing?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

I felt like I loved talking through, but when I started blending movement, I became alive.

[Lewis Howes]

Yes.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

And that was how I started teaching digitally. And I never. I'm not a trainer. I never started teaching in studio. I started teaching online. And then, you know, I feel like even after all of these years of doing this and the love. I love what I do. I am so grateful and so proud of myself that I'm like, you did it and you're still doing it, and you're gonna keep doing it, because the unfolding is what I've learned to really just get excited about. Right. And I love speaking, and I love being able to spread this, but also to help people apply their lives and their mess and their stuff, to, like, to really get them there, to, like, hold. You know, it's like hand holding and guiding along the way that I feel like is something that I love to do. But there's something that happens when I'm on stage or speaking where I feel I feel at home.

[Lewis Howes]

Wow, that's beautiful. Something you said. You know, it's really interesting because there's a lot of people that are struggling or suffering or in depression or anxiety. And what I've learned over the years, that the fastest way to end your own sadness and suffering is to be in service to someone else. And like, you said, you were maybe a little down or whatever, and you started coaching people just, like, for fun, for 10, 20 minutes, and it just made you feel alive. When you're in service to someone else, helping provide value to someone else, it's the greatest gift you can give yourself, too. It's almost selfish because of how good you can feel to help another person.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

That's how I feel with the work that I do.

[Lewis Howes]

Like, I'm just like, you're amplifying it, too. Yeah. So it's like you're helping millions and you're like, man, man, what a gift. Like, this is so beautiful that I get to be of service and use my pain or my sadness for so long. And what I learned on how to get out of it, to help other women who are struggling in whatever they're struggling with. And if people watching or listening just knew that, like, if you're suffering in any way in sadness right now, the fastest way to overcome that is to get out of yourself and start helping someone else. Helping someone with whatever you can help them with. I don't care. Listen to them. If you have no skill, just listen to them and sit with them. If you can provide value in some way, provide value for free. Whatever it is, it's going to make you feel better. And the more you do it consistently, it's going to get you out of that sadness and suffering. And it's not going to solve everything, but it's going to help you a lot.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

It really does. And I think also, like, Moving your body 100% wild, what movement can do. I think it's just like, it brings magic to your life because all the, you know, all those endorphins and your dopamine, the serotonin, and you're just like. And I think that just becomes a magnet 100%. So bringing, like, it's like, it opens up the energy.

[Lewis Howes]

Yeah. If you can. If you can meditate on a consistent basis and calm your mind, if you can move your breath and be intentional for a few minutes a day with your breathing, whether that's with movement or not. And then if you can use movement on a daily basis in some intuitive way, you're 90% of the way there.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

That's my medicine.

[Lewis Howes]

That's it. And if you can start just eating a little bit more intuitively, you know, a little healthier, it's going to solve a lot of problems.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Oh, my God, A lot.

[Lewis Howes]

You're just going to feel better. You're just going to feel better, you're going to be clearer, you're going to be happier, more joyful, more loving, more grateful. And it's not going to solve everything, but it's going to solve a lot of it is.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

And I think people are waiting to feel motivated and if, let me tell you, I'm a super motivated person. I don't always feel motivated to do the things. So when I'm feeling that way, like, I lean on my habits. It's like your habits are the vehicle that are going to inspire and turn on this motivation inside of you. Then you become more motivated to keep it moving. But, like, if you're sitting around waiting to be motivated or inspired, like, we have to, we have, we have to know that we're the creators of that. And it's like coming back to the things, unfortunately, that you may not want to do in that moment. Like, I don't wake up, like, skipping to meditate and work out every day. And by the way, I do it for like 30 minutes, but I'm consistent and I'm devoted to myself daily.

[Lewis Howes]

That's great.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

And that's where it's like less of this, like, pounding into the ground and.

[Lewis Howes]

It becomes beating yourself up and extremism. Yeah, yeah.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Oh, yeah.

[Lewis Howes]

But how do you stay consistent when you've got a, you know, a big business now, you're a mom, a couple kids, you know, you're married, you've got responsibilities as a wife, you've got extended family, I'm assuming that have stuff coming up all the time. You've got friends, you've got. How do you do it? How can you stay fit, healthy, calm, you know, how do you manage it all?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

It's even more reason for me to stay consistent. And I know what it feels like to feel bad and I know what it feels like to live life feeling like that. And I don't want to. And even on my most down days, and some days, I do think you just have to let yourself be in that and to feel all the feels, cry, say, really get it out, because you have to release it. But I still do the work. I still come back to it because it has me here. It has me living a life beyond my wildest dreams. And I never thought things were possible. And I now know that anything is possible.

[Lewis Howes]

Wow.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

I really, truly, with everything inside of me believe that when you want it and when you. It's not even working hard for it, I think you have to work super consistently. But when you're just willing to feel all the feelings to, you know, it's. I always say it's like the days that you don't want to do it, that you need it most, that will completely elevate your process.

[Lewis Howes]

Yes.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

And it's just like I, after all of these years, and I still have these you know, I have such a deep relationship with my inner self, and it's like these internal conversations that I have, and I get myself there, and I do. I do. And I just. I want to live this life to the fullest.

[Lewis Howes]

You said, though, earlier that, like, you're in a place that's kind of an interesting place right now, as you said. I don't know if you said flat or neutral or neutral. What are you uncovering right now? Like, in the last decade, you've really uncovered a lot and grown a lot and created a lot. Right. And where are you now? You mentioned earlier also, like, you're still doing even deeper unmasking and letting go of past wounds on a deeper level. Does that mean you're. What does that mean with your business and also with your personal journey inside?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

So right now, I am. I'm doing some energy work. And it's funny because I feel like since I've been doing this work, I've kind of shifted away from other things. Like, I love therapy, and I think therapy is a great tool, but this has been something very transformative for me to understand that, like, we're all energy, and I. It's like I'm just, like, vibrating energy, and I can feel people's energy, and it's just something that magnifies my life. So the more that I'm just really paying attention to the energy that I hold around me, and it's really hard because I went like this with my business, right? Like, I. When I really hit that peak growth, and then it's like, okay, like, what are we doing?

[Lewis Howes]

Keep expanding and building. Let's launch this.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Exactly. And hire more people and test and try all of these things. And it got away from me. It got a little too far away from me. And I was so unhappy. And I. I've been feeling it for a while, but it's overwhelming. And then, you know, it's so easy to be like, oh, well, this person. If, you know, didn't do that, make that decision. And I was doing this listening to other people. And I've actually never talked about this, but.

[Lewis Howes]

Amazon One Medical presents painful thoughts.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

I've been on hold to make a document appointment for 23 minutes now. The automated voice has told me 47 times that my call is very important to them. Hmm. I'm starting to think that they don't think my call is important at all.

[Lewis Howes]

With Amazon One Medical 24. 7 Virtual Care, you'll get help fast without having to remain on the line to make an appointment. Amazon One Medical Healthcare just got less painful.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Before we had AT&T business wireless coverage, our delivery GPs wasn't the most reliable. Once our driver had to do a.

[Lewis Howes]

14 point turn to get back on route.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

A 14 point turn.

[Lewis Howes]

An influencer even livestream the whole thing.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Not good for business. Now with AT&T business wireless routes are.

[Lewis Howes]

Updating on the fly and deliveries are on time. And the influencer did get us 53 new followers though. AT&T business wireless connecting changes everything.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

A couple years ago I brought in some investment. I just with a small group of people and it was really like not completely locked in to like my gut, you know, but it was a guided decision that I felt from people who are very intelligent. I was like, you know what?

[Lewis Howes]

Like this successful.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Yeah, of course. And I also have stood behind for so many years, like, oh well, school wasn't my thing and finance isn't my thing. Enough of that, like it is so easy to hide behind and just think you can just like hire things. And I do believe that you have to really give the majority of your energy to the thing that you're really, really good at. But I had to really face this feeling of like, why am I so uninspired? I had nothing. I was just like, it was all. It was just like putting on an act and I could do that.

[Lewis Howes]

When was this?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

It's been going on for a year. But it was like chipping away at kind of understanding. Maybe in certain rooms the vibes weren't vibing and I'm just like walking away.

[Lewis Howes]

And I'm like, you're like why am I doing this?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Well, yeah. And I'm just like, why wasn't it vibing? Who contributed to the vibes being off? And like I had to go under the hood of my business and own that the decisions that were made were my decisions.

[Lewis Howes]

At the end of the day, you said yes.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

This is because of things I have chosen to say yes to. Whether I felt it or not, I did it. So owning that is when I was just like. And I pulled up the sleeves and I'm like, and let's get to work because nobody can fix this but me. And it was just a lot of deep like for me it starts with intuition and energy, but then it has to be supported by aligned actions. So you feel the thing, you take note, you kind of investigate. And then it's like you have to ask questions and sometimes there's just certain people that are not meant to be in your orbit. And that's okay because I think when something's not working for you. It's not working for them either.

[Lewis Howes]

Sure, of course.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

But you're pulling the plug, you know, or they're pulling the plug, by the way. And it's amazing what was kind of starting to happen and shift. And I had built this beautiful space, this, like, you know, I started doing this stuff in my living room. Noah, when, you know, he was like, it's so funny because he's like, you know, you were doing this thing, and I was, like, so happy for you that you were, like, content doing this thing. But then it's like when he started paying attention, he's like, you're like, you have a real business. It was really cute and funny, and he was always supportive, but he's just like, whoa. Like, this is crazy. And then I, I. He literally built a custom desk in our living room. And I had me and two other girls on the team. So, you know, I went from that, and then I went to, like, this we work space that was a closet with three desks. And now I've built this beautiful space with a studio in the office.

[Lewis Howes]

Incredible.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

But I didn't feel good being there.

[Lewis Howes]

Really.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

No. I didn't know why. And I had to uncover and I had to ask hard questions, and then I had to face things. But through the process of listening and taking action and other people sometimes taking action, I am in a different space in my life right now where I feel like I've, like, just cleaned up some cobwebs and made some really hard decisions of also buying my investors back. They're amazing. The most incredible group. And it was nothing to do with them. It was just the simple fact that something was not completely feeling in the flow for me. And I think I put on my own pressure of feeling like I've got to deliver this thing, but also understanding that I think people make it sound like the North Star should be selling your business. And I just like, the more I.

[Lewis Howes]

Kind of raising money selling the business. Yeah. Yeah.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

I was like, oh, my God.

[Lewis Howes]

Hiring more and more people.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

I was just like, I love that. I love what? I love this. I don't think that's. I don't think that's it. And just being really honest and transparent has helped me to just really come back to myself.

[Lewis Howes]

Wow, that's beautiful. Yeah. More is not always more.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

No, it's not. And I think testing. And by the way, because I think it's so easy to think about all the money and the things. Oh, God, the time. And I weighed on that for a Bit be honest. But then I'm like, thank you. Thank you for showing me, for guiding me, for allowing me to really own this and to just know that those were my lessons and I had to do. I had to go through all of these things to be at this neutral chapter, which, you know, I like highs when they're high, and I even can vibe with a low when it's low because it's just like, I'm used to this.

[Lewis Howes]

But you're not used to this.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

No, but I'm, oh, my God, it's so beautiful. And I'm just like, you don't know.

[Lewis Howes]

What to expect next. Is that what it is or. You're not clear yet.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

I know that I want to do more motivational speaking. I'm a motivational speaker. And just saying that more. I'm like, melissa, you are a motivational speaker. Stop saying you want to be. You are a motiv. And I just even that, like exercising that skill in the way that I talk about it and getting myself out there to do more things. And I feel really excited without knowing a damn thing that's about to come.

[Lewis Howes]

So what does that look like? If you had a vision for your life over the next few years, what does that feeling or experience look like?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Honestly, it all comes back to my community because it is. Oh, my God. I mean, and how this came to be is I did my first, like, really big class in Brook in Brooklyn at the one hotel years ago.

[Lewis Howes]

Like a live class in person.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Yeah, like an in person class where I, you know, we did a meditation and I guided a class. But it was the speaking part that I walked away from that experience. And by the way, it was so crazy because I stayed at the one hotel the night before because I was like, I need to just like get grounded. And sometimes when your kids are client, you know, I was just like, give me a moment. This is my first big thing with 300ish people that I had ever done. And I was in the room and I like, thought people were like screaming on the street. Like, the street. But then I looked out the window and I was like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. I think they're lined up. And I like, I started to panic because I was like, are people going to come? Like, are you sure they are svp? It was so weird. I started feeling like no one was going to come.

[Lewis Howes]

I know that feeling.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Oh, my God. And then I didn't prepare damn thing.

[Lewis Howes]

Well, you'd been preparing for 10 years. You know, you've been doing reps yeah.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Yeah. And honestly, that is my inner genius that I can drop in. I'm so connected to source, and that just flows through me. I've never, like, I don't plan a class. I don't plan a meditation, and I didn't plan a talk, but it poured out of me.

[Lewis Howes]

Wow, that's cool.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

And I went home, and I remember I was, like, laying in bed. My legs are up the wall as they are every night before bed. And I was talking to Noah, and I said, I feel the most, like, at home. And I just feel. That's what happened to me today is what I'm meant to be doing.

[Lewis Howes]

You felt alive.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Yes, I felt so alive.

[Lewis Howes]

When's the last time you did one of those?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

So that's where things get interesting. Right? Because I've done some. I have done some, but I can really hide behind teaching a class because it's safe and it's known versus what, versus just getting up there and speaking.

[Lewis Howes]

Oh, so it was. So you've been doing more class teaching?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Well, like, it kind of blends. It's like a meditation, and then we move and then we. And by the way, that is beautiful. And I love doing it, but I just, like, every time I'm speaking, just.

[Lewis Howes]

Speaking, just, oh, not doing a class.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

And by the way, people like our members. My members come to me like, sure, I can put you through a killer workout. A workout that you. You know, a lot of people are strong. This is. It's different because it's mostly using your own body weight and just like, the blend of that alone combined with the way I kind of, you know, will fuse things together. But people come to me for. For. For the. It's like what I give in my energy and feeling motivated. Right. Like, because that starts to pour through me when I'm teaching, and I feel that in my soul. Like, that's what they really want. They want all of it, all the things.

[Lewis Howes]

But it's a feeling more than they get a workout anywhere.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Yeah, they can work out anywhere, and they do, you know, but.

[Lewis Howes]

But they get a feeling and something unique with you they want more of.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Yes. And I'm. I'm really. I'm stepping into that.

[Lewis Howes]

So what does that. I mean, okay, I'm trying to understand that. So you like doing classes, but that's not the main thing you want to be doing.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

It's. I feel like it was. I love teaching digitally. Like, I am I.

[Lewis Howes]

Not in person classes.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

I mean, I'll do it. I love it occasionally, but, like, I'm not going to teach every week in a studio or train clients. Like, that is not my soul's work.

[Lewis Howes]

So what is the vision, then, for your soul's work? Is it to speak on stage for this next season of life and not teaching a workshop or a class, just speaking?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

So it's a combination of both. And I'm really.

[Lewis Howes]

What does the perfect speech look like for you? Where you feel most alive?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

It's starting with my keynote.

[Lewis Howes]

Okay.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Like, really giving, like, the story and the how I have gotten to this place. But then it's taking that and it is giving the how to to everyone in the space.

[Lewis Howes]

Like, with a class example or.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

No.

[Lewis Howes]

Okay, so no class, no workout.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

A meditation. Definitely a meditation. Maybe we'll get up and we'll do something.

[Lewis Howes]

Shake it off. But not like laying down on the mat. So it's not a workout speech.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

It's not a workout.

[Lewis Howes]

It's a speech speech.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

It's a real.

[Lewis Howes]

Okay, so when's the last time you did one of those?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

So the last time I did that was I was invited to. Where did I see. Where did I speak? I went to Austin and Snapchat had me come for. What is it? Why am I drawing a blank on that?

[Lewis Howes]

South by Southwest.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

South by Southwest. Thank you. Like, it was huge for me to have them come. And.

[Lewis Howes]

And how was that?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

It was incredible. It was amazing.

[Lewis Howes]

But that was like, five months ago.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Six months ago.

[Lewis Howes]

I know.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Thank you. Look at this. I love this.

[Lewis Howes]

So what are you waiting to do next?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Well, I'm doing one in the beginning, in Q1. We're looking at booking the space. Like, right now, I'm actively working towards getting this thing together, but it's. There's nothing standing in the way. It's more. Now, I know that I've taken a lot of this space to get myself, and I've done a lot of talks in between, too. Like, I did one last Friday. I'm doing one next week. And room of 70 people. 100 people. I've spoken to 500, 500 plus. So I've been grooming this, but this one I'm putting on.

[Lewis Howes]

Okay.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

This is my event.

[Lewis Howes]

Yeah. In early next year.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

And as you know, that takes. I mean, it's a lot of work. So we've been chipping away at this for a while, but I can very confidently say in 2025, it's happening. It's freaking happening. Like, cannot. I really can't wait. And when I even. Like last Friday, when I spoke to these 70 women, I was like, I am so, like, I'm the most me I've ever been.

[Lewis Howes]

Okay, so you feel the most alive when you're doing this.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

I do.

[Lewis Howes]

I can see it in your energy. You feel alive.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

I know. I completely shifted. I felt it.

[Lewis Howes]

But you've only done a couple of them this year, it sounds like, right?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

No, I've done more than a couple.

[Lewis Howes]

Okay.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

I've done a lot. I've done a lot. But they're very much like, I'm being invited.

[Lewis Howes]

Sure.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

But I wanted to use this time to like exercise my skill.

[Lewis Howes]

I mean, why don't you just do it at your office space like once every week or every two weeks? Like just let women come in and do like, you know, 100 person event and just get your reps. Yeah. It doesn't have to be a big production where it's like, oh, we have to plan six months in advance. It doesn't.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

But I feel like I really. My energy vibrates. Like, I feel very called to, like, the space we're looking at is a thousand people. Like, I just, I've done the 500s. I've done a little more, but I feel like I'm just a bigger thing now. Yeah. And I have been. I mean, the thing is with. And I love where you're going with this. Call me out.

[Lewis Howes]

Yeah, I am.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

No, I like it. Thank you. Because it's also. I have to face that I have. And this is something like, I had to ask myself, like, am I procrastinating? This is when I started working with.

[Lewis Howes]

This doesn't need to look too perfect. Doesn't it?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Yeah. And I was like, am I? And it was so clear. And this is when I really got to work. It's been about four months of this. I had so much detangling to do. And it's not an excuse.

[Lewis Howes]

No, I hear you though.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

But when you're so determined, tangled, it's.

[Lewis Howes]

Hard to give your energy to something you can't.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

And it's now, as things are all starting to open up, it's like, I'm opening up.

[Lewis Howes]

Sure, sure, sure. Timing is everything.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

It's everything.

[Lewis Howes]

I was talking with. I was with Gabby Bernstein last night. We were talking about you and talking about how she's level watching your journey and just how you've exploded. But she did something for years, I think. Or maybe it was a year where it was like once a month. There was like a beautiful church in New York City that she would just.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Just, oh, I used to go, yeah, yeah.

[Lewis Howes]

So there's gotta be Something like that. Where also it doesn't have to be a big production.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

No, I like that.

[Lewis Howes]

I want to do this once a month for 300 or 500 or however many people where it's like a 90 minute thing. And I'm just going to get my practice reps here in New York for the bigger thing that I'm going to build later.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Ooh, I really love it.

[Lewis Howes]

And it's content for the app and it's whatever. You can invite your friends, you can bring, you know, other people, whatever it might be, and just whoever shows, shows, if that's 100 people, if it's 1,000 people. But I'm gonna bring my best once a month and then get a rep every month. And I'm gonna create something for myself and I'm also gonna have content for the whole month and I'm gonna have more videos to show other big events. What I'm doing in front of, like, it's just gonna activate it.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

I love that.

[Lewis Howes]

You know what I mean?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

I felt a very strong yes. When you said that.

[Lewis Howes]

Like, it doesn't have to be overproduced, but it could be a beautiful church. It could be. I don't know whether Gabby did it, but it always looked. Oh, it's pretty beautiful.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Yeah. I've been to, like, one that she did at a church and then I was. I would go to Marianne Williamson, who was also, like, one of her teachers. Oh. I went weekly for a long time.

[Lewis Howes]

So you could do something like that.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Yes.

[Lewis Howes]

It could be once a month to start.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

You know, I love it. This is great. No, I like this. I'm really liking this. And what I've been. What I've really been peeling back the layers on is clearly perfection. Can you tell?

[Lewis Howes]

I mean. Yeah. If I were you, I would say, you know, you should give yourself a challenge to make it feel a little scary. And I wouldn't wait till next year. I would say, how do I do this in November or December?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Okay.

[Lewis Howes]

How do I do this before the end of the year where I don't feel fully prepared? Where it scares me a little bit because I feel like I want it to be this produced, perfect thing and just show up and give my heart and soul to my community.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

I love it. And that's one of my best, by the way, when it's less produced, which is what I've gone back to the.

[Lewis Howes]

Mic and you on stage.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Yeah.

[Lewis Howes]

Put a little music on and that's it. And you deliver, you know, So, I mean, the holidays are coming up. It's like, it's perfect time, November, December to like just put something together and see who shows up. You know, it's scary when you don't know how many people are gonna show up. I just had an event a few weeks ago and I was literally like, I have no idea. It was a 6,000 person venue. And I go, I don't know if people are gonna show up or not. Like, we're gonna have a thousand people here and it's gonna look empty until people are there. You're like, oh, okay, this thing is full. But it's a little scary.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

It's really scary.

[Lewis Howes]

And I've been doing it for eight years. It's like, so I don't know. Something. What I'm hearing you say is like, you just being able to show up and hundreds of people coming and you being able to deliver and the joy that brings you and the memory that gives you at night afterwards, and how you get to talk about it and how you get to relive it. That memory dividend sounds like it's one of the greatest joys you have. It is when you're on stage speaking. And so don't limit yourself on your ability to serve until the perfect timing or the perfect space or the perfect. I have to detangle everything. I get the detangling. But it's like you can keep getting practice reps locally. I love it in a smaller venue, you know.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Thank you. I needed to hear that.

[Lewis Howes]

Yeah. And your community wants you. Right. You're doing a disservice by not adding a space for them to show up.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

You're freaking right.

[Lewis Howes]

They're messaging you saying, we want more of you and this is the thing you want to do more of. It's not like you're wanting to do something that you don't want to do. It's not like your audience is asking you to do like a mastermind or a coaching program or another course where you're like, I'm just tired of creating more. They're asking you to do something that your heart is telling you you love the most. Based on what I'm hearing you say, a million percent.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Thank you. I needed this.

[Lewis Howes]

Yeah. I would set a date in November, December, and say, I'm just gonna get a venue that I can just do a two hour talk.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

And that's the thing. I'm just like, I don't set. Just like a walk in, walk in, do the thing.

[Lewis Howes]

That's it. No production, mic and some music.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

I like less production. That's A big thing.

[Lewis Howes]

And you can keep doing the thousand person venue later next year. You can set that and create that. But this is where your heart and your soul comes alive and where you can serve your community. It doesn't do Gabby Bernstein, Marianne Williamson style. You know, it's like, serve.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Thank you. Yeah, I really needed.

[Lewis Howes]

I'm gonna text you and see next week if you've got a date.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Done. No, I feel like as soon as you said it and I think this is where, you know, with my team right now I feel like I've really just been coming back to the basics of like, what brings me alive. Like, I actually went back to doing my lives on my phone with no. Like, we have lights in there, but it's like dark and it's not perfect. Oh, my God. It's like, it's when I'm the most.

[Lewis Howes]

I mean, you should even consider going back. Just make it look like your living room. You know, maybe you don't want to film in your living room anymore, but make it set it up like your living room.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

I do still film in my living room.

[Lewis Howes]

That's cool.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Yeah. I will never stop doing that at home. Yes.

[Lewis Howes]

There you go.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Yeah, I bring it with me everywhere.

[Lewis Howes]

Wow, that's amazing. It's amazing. Yeah. I would love to see you on a stage in New York. Like just a church or some venue. Like, get what Gabby did.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

You gave me a gift.

[Lewis Howes]

Like it could be once a month. It doesn't have to be weekly and just see how that feels.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Okay.

[Lewis Howes]

And only book it one month ahead. If you don't want to do it next month. I don't have to do it anymore. If it's getting too overwhelming or it doesn't feel right, I'm stopping.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

You know, Team, get ready.

[Lewis Howes]

Yeah. Yeah. It's not. Doesn't some decentralized.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

I'm calling after this and that's the.

[Lewis Howes]

Feeder for like, oh, we're going to do a thousand or two thousand person venue next year. And this is like, you can sell tickets to that at your monthly thing.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Yeah. I feel like I've been standing in my own way. And honestly, it's so interesting because I think you can be really excited about something and at the same time so scared of really stepping in 100%. And I will admit that.

[Lewis Howes]

Yeah, of course. Yeah. But this is. You're here for a reason today.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

So you gave me. It was like an electric, like, listen and. Yes.

[Lewis Howes]

And well, just you talking about it and like this. What you're most alive is what you're saying, you know, and I'm feeling that. And I'm like, well, why have you only done it a few times this year? You know, it's like, just do it once a month, you know, okay. On your own here in New York. This has been beautiful. I've got a couple final questions for you, but amazing. What I'm hearing you say throughout this entire conversation is that when you give yourself the space and time to start listening to the direction of your life and am I in the direction that I want to be in, or am I not based on how I'm feeling, based on my environment, based on the people in my life, am I on the direction? Am I on the path, and do I feel good about me? Do I have a good relationship with me? When you've been able to do that consistently, good things happen in your life. When you keep taking consistent, healthy actions on a daily basis, more abundance comes to you. You're manifesting the right things organically. Things flow to you better, and it feels more effortless when you're making decisions that are not in alignment with your inner child or with the divine. It's a lot of effort, and things don't flow to you, and there's a lot of destruction and sadness and suffering in your path. And so I want to acknowledge you, Melissa, for the journey you continue to take to be in service to the little girl inside of you, to be there for her even when she's maybe screaming at times and you're doing not everything perfect all the time, but you keep realigning with the values you have that she needs. I know you have kids, but the most important child you have is the one with yourself. And so I acknowledge you for being on that journey to being a great mother to yourself as well as your own kids and being of service, using your soul to be of service to your community. And I acknowledge you for making the actions in your business recently to realign with that, even though that might be scary and worried what people are going to think about me and what I'm going to upset some people and these different things. But more is not always more. And so I acknowledge you for taking these challenging, courageous steps. And I'm so excited that we're connecting, and I hope to see you continue to be in your power without it being perfect.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Ooh. Yes.

[Lewis Howes]

I've got two final questions for you, Melissa, before I ask them. How can people or listening or watching be of service to you today? Where can we support and follow you and serve you?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Thank you. I just I'm, like, so full of gratitude. It's such a beautiful thing when you can, like, really take it in. You can come to melissawoodhealth.com and I have workouts and meditations. I have over a thousand videos, and I really, truly have something for everyone that was always important to me. No matter what stage of life you are in, whether you are pregnant, newly, postpartum, have never worked out, have taken years off, and, you know, with these workouts and the programs that I've created, I feel very confident that it will guide you to a place of. Of true inner alignment with yourself. And meditations. I have recipes. I really share so much. I try to give it all there. And our Instagram for Melissa Woodhealth is Elissa Woodhealth, and my personal is ElissaWoodtepperberg.

[Lewis Howes]

Awesome. Okay, well, make sure to check that out. And if you're in New York, make sure to follow her to see when she's doing her event here in New York at the end of this year.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Hopefully.

[Lewis Howes]

Hopefully. No pressure, but only if it feels aligned for you.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

It does.

[Lewis Howes]

Yeah.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Yeah, you little fire. I love it.

[Lewis Howes]

Yeah. I don't want you to feel like I have to do this, but it's like if you feel called the end of this year, it's happening. This is a question I ask everyone towards the end of our conversations. It's called the three truths. So imagine a hypothetical scenario. You get to live as long as you want in this world, but it's your last day on this earth. So imagine you're as old as you want to be, and from this moment of this conversation until that last day, you get to create everything you want in your life, whether you want to create more or less, whatever it is. You get to develop and create anything. And all your dreams come true. Everything comes true. But for whatever reason, in this hypothetical scenario, you have to take all of your work with you, all of your content, the videos, this conversation, anything you create. We don't have access in this world after you're gone, hypothetically, but on the last day, you get to leave behind three truths. Three things you know to be true from all your experiences in life. Kind of like your three lessons to life. And this is all we have to remember of your content. What would be those three truths for you?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Oh, God, this is so good. The three truths for me would be to listen to your gut, because it's guiding you in ways and directions beyond anything you ever could have imagined. Open your heart. Because when you do, it opens the doors to everything in your life. And the third would be to be exactly who you are. And no matter what's going on around you and people are doing things you want to do and you think they're doing it better, the more that you can just come back to you and move through life in the way that you do is where I think the beauty of us really unfolds.

[Lewis Howes]

That's beautiful. Final question, Melissa. What's your definition of greatness?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

My definition of greatness is. Having this contentment and alignment in your life, no matter what it looks like. Because I think when you peel all of that stuff back, it's this. This feeling that you wake up with and you just feel so good and excited for it all. Like that to me is just what living a great life is and being a great person and just showing up with this greatness through it all.

[Lewis Howes]

Awesome, Melissa. Thanks for being here. Appreciate it.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Thank you so much.

[Lewis Howes]

Amazing. Anything you wanted to add or anything?

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Oh my God. I feel like we went there in every way, shape and form. And it's so interesting too, because I feel like I told my story so differently and I love what you pulled out of me.

[Lewis Howes]

That's great. That's great. It's beautiful. Thank you. Appreciate it.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Thank you.

[Lewis Howes]

I hope you enjoyed today's episode and it inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a full rundown of today's episode with all the important links and if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me personally as well as ad free listening, then make sure to subscribe to our greatness+channel exclusively on Apple Podcasts. Share this with a friend friend on social media and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts as well. Let me know what you enjoyed about this episode in that review. I really love hearing feedback from you and it helps us figure out how we can support and serve you moving forward. And I want to remind you, if no one has told you lately that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great.

[Melissa Wood Tepperberg]

Hi, I'm Angie Hicks, co founder of Angie. One thing I've learned is that you buy a house, but you make it a home. And for decades, Angie's helped millions of homeowners hire skilled pros for the projects that matter. Get all your jobs done [e-mail] at Capella University. Learning online doesn't mean learning alone. You'll get support from people who care about your success, like your enrollment specialist who gets to know you and the goals you'd like to achieve. You'll also get a designated academic coach who's with you throughout your entire program. Plus, career coaches are available to help you navigate your professional goals. A different future is closer than you think with Capella University. Learn more at Capella Eduardo.