The School of Greatness

Episode Title: I Spent Years Hating Myself Until I Started This Practice

Host: Lewis Howes
Guest: Melissa Wood Tepperberg
Date: January 9, 2026

Episode Overview

In this deeply personal and inspiring episode, Lewis Howes sits down with wellness entrepreneur, content creator and meditation advocate Melissa Wood Tepperberg. Together, they explore Melissa’s journey from growing up with childhood trauma, battling perfectionism, self-hate, and destructive behaviors, to finding healing and purpose through self-awareness, meditation, and service. Melissa candidly discusses her struggles with eating disorders, emotional survival, dysfunctional family patterns, and the practices that helped her transform her relationship with herself and serve millions around the globe.

This conversation is a masterclass in vulnerability, radical self-reflection, and how small, consistent practices can completely reshape our lives.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Unmasking and Childhood Trauma

• Family Dysfunction: Both Lewis and Melissa connect over growing up amidst emotional chaos and scarcity, sharing the perpetual feeling of “not enough” and the compulsion to wear masks of perfection.
  • "I wore those masks for a long time to protect myself, to fit in, to belong, to get ahead, whatever it might be—to survive." — Lewis Howes [04:00]
• Emotional vs. Physical Survival: Melissa describes “emotional survival” as her baseline, taking on household responsibilities from a young age and internalizing her family’s struggles.
  • "I knew since the age of seven that I could help or I could ease some stress... It was this endless cycle of survival." — Melissa [06:02]
• Early Wounds: She shares a vivid story of being the only child without a parent present at a school Parent Day, seeding shame and a drive to protect her vulnerability.
  • "I remember being alone and just, like, not having my parents show up. And I was so embarrassed, but I was so hurt." — Melissa [08:06]

2. Coping Mechanisms, Numbing, and Self-Destruction

• Escaping Pain in Early Adulthood: Moving to New York exposed Melissa to her unresolved pain. She admits numbing herself through binge drinking, late nights, drugs, and eating disorders.
  • "That was the start of running away from myself...it really translated to going out, drinking, and then numbing yourself, binge eating." — Melissa [13:15]
• Eating Disorders: She describes the vicious cycle of binging and purging, rooted in shame and a desire for control.
  • "I felt like I deserved it... I was just trying to get rid of what was physically inside me. But it was so emotionally tied." — Melissa [16:49]
• Darkest Point: Melissa’s lowest moments included self-hate so deep she’d look in the mirror and say, "I hate you." — [18:18]

3. The Wake-Up Call and Beginning to Heal

• Seeing Two Paths: She vividly recalls a moment of clarity—seeing her life split between ongoing destruction and the unknown pain of healing.
  • "I saw two roads of life, right? One, we know where that’s going to end up. Or, you can choose to create this different path for yourself... I needed help." — Melissa [19:12]
• Embracing Help: For the first time, she reached out to a friend for a therapist recommendation, realizing she could no longer rely only on her own strength.
  • "That was the biggest moment for me...giving over and not relying on my own strength for the first time in my life." — Melissa [20:57]
• Breaking Old Patterns: Even in therapy, Melissa admits struggling to fully let go of unhealthy coping ("I lied to my therapist. I was taking Adderall...It is really hard to break the cycle." — [26:33]).

4. Building a New Practice: From Restriction to Self-Love

• Shifting the Focus: Instead of removing unhealthy behaviors, Melissa started adding in positive practices—therapy, then hiring a health coach.
  • "What can I add in to help make me feel just an ounce more at ease?" — Melissa [31:48]
• Obsession with External Approval: She realized obsession with diet, exercise, and outward appearance was another form of self-punishment.
  • "I became psychotic with that...I was working out two hours a day, writing down every morsel of food. It was so obsessive." — Melissa [33:15]
• Meditation as a Turning Point: Daily meditation became her anchor and catalyst for true self-acceptance and healing.
  • "I started meditating. I’ve meditated every day since. That’s how I’m here. It helped me see myself for the first time." — Melissa [36:53]

5. Consistent Self-Devotion and Service

• Cultivating Practices: Through meditation and movement (Pilates, yoga, intuitive flow), Melissa created an embodied practice that replaced punishment with celebration.
  • "I started weaving these things together...it brought me into this flow state." — Melissa [38:20]
• Serving Others: Coaching grew from free coffee shop sessions to a global platform—discovering that service to others alleviates suffering.
  • "The fastest way to end your own sadness… is to be in service to someone else." — Lewis [59:53]
• Vulnerability as a Bridge: Sharing her story openly has connected her with millions. "People come to me for the energy and feeling motivated...That’s what they really want. They want all of it." — Melissa [78:58]

6. Navigating Success, Growth, and Staying Aligned

• Business Growth & Its Costs: Melissa details business growth, room for mistakes, and the realization that “more” isn’t always “more.”
  • "When I really hit that peak growth...it got a little too far. I was so unhappy. I had to face feelings of why am I so uninspired?" — Melissa [66:58]
• Radical Ownership: She took responsibility for business decisions and began buying back her company to reconnect with her vision.
  • "Owning that is when I was just like...let’s get to work because nobody can fix this but me." — Melissa [70:22]

7. The Value of Neutrality, Contentment, and Next Steps

• Embracing ‘Flat’/Neutral: Melissa now finds beauty in operating from a place of neutrality after cycles of extreme highs and lows.
  • "I like highs...I can vibe with a low...but I’m not used to this [neutral]. It's so beautiful." — Melissa [74:33]
• Desire for More Speaking and Community: Her greatest joy is speaking authentically to live audiences and feels called to create regular speaking events—pushed lovingly by Lewis to take consistent, imperfect action.
  • "I feel the most me I’ve ever been when I speak." — Melissa [82:05]
  • "Don’t limit yourself…Just do it once a month. Give your heart to your community." — Lewis [88:04]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the Perpetual Healing Journey:
  "I don't ever think you fully, completely heal traumas. That's kind of my biggest awakening today...even after all the work, new wounds come to the surface." — Melissa [04:13]

• Wearing Masks:
  "As you overcome or continue to work through—because I don't ever think you fully, completely heal traumas—that's kind of my biggest awakening today." — Melissa [04:13]

• The Power of Service:
  "The fastest way to end your own sadness and suffering is to be in service to someone else." — Lewis [59:53]

• Consistency Beats Motivation:
  "People are waiting to feel motivated… I don’t always feel motivated. I lean on my habits; your habits are the vehicle that will inspire you." — Melissa [62:25]

• Alignment Over Perfection:
  "More is not always more." — Melissa [73:49]
  "I don't want you to feel like you ‘have’ to do this, but if you feel called, the end of this year it’s happening." — Lewis [94:10]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Unmasking & Childhood Trauma: [04:00] – [11:15]
• Self-Destructive Behaviors: [13:00] – [18:52]
• The Wake-up Call: [19:12] – [22:22]
• Starting New Practices: [31:08] – [38:20]
• Meditation & Self-Love: [36:51] – [38:20]
• Service and Healing Others: [59:53] – [62:13]
• Business Ownership & Alignment: [65:58] – [73:45]
• Embracing Neutral/Contentment: [74:33] – [75:16]
• Live Events & Speaking Vision: [77:01] – [89:37]
• Rapid-Fire: Three Truths: [95:21]
  • 1. Listen to your gut
  • 2. Open your heart
  • 3. Be exactly who you are

3 Truths (Melissa’s Lasting Wisdom)

1. Listen to your gut:
   "It's guiding you in ways and directions beyond anything you ever imagined."
2. Open your heart:
   "When you do, it opens the doors to everything in your life."
3. Be exactly who you are:
   "No matter what's going on around you, the more you come back to you, the more life unfolds beautifully."
   — [95:21]

Definition of Greatness

"Having this contentment and alignment in your life, no matter what it looks like...when you peel all of that back, it's this feeling you wake up with and you just feel so good and excited for it all. That's what living a great life is. And being a great person and just showing up with this greatness through it all." — Melissa [96:38]

Final Thoughts & Takeaways

• True healing is ongoing, nonlinear, and requires relentless honesty and self-compassion.
• Consistent, small daily practices (meditation, movement, service) build the foundation of a life you love.
• Authentic service to others not only uplifts them but is a powerful antidote to personal suffering.
• More isn’t always better in business or life: alignment and contentment trump external markers of success.
• Greatness is about deep, quiet alignment—not chasing perfection or public accomplishment.
• When in doubt, lead with who you really are, and serve from abundance.

For More from Melissa:

• melissawoodhealth.com
• Instagram: @melissawoodhealth | @melissawoodtepperberg

This summary captures the heart of Melissa’s journey and the wisdom distilled in this vulnerable, hopeful conversation.