The Real Reason You Can't Stop Your Addiction | Dr. Gabor Maté

Podcast: The School of Greatness
Host: Lewis Howes
Guest: Dr. Gabor Maté
Date: November 12, 2025

Episode Overview

This profound episode of The School of Greatness delves into the roots of addiction, trauma, and healing, featuring renowned physician and author Dr. Gabor Maté. Together with Lewis Howes, Dr. Maté challenges mainstream views on addiction, reframes it as a coping strategy rooted in childhood trauma, and offers a compassionate path toward healing. The conversation traverses Dr. Maté's personal experiences, scientific research, cultural critique, and practical guidance.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Challenging the Concept of "Healthy Addiction”

• Dr. Maté firmly states there is no such thing as a healthy addiction. He defines addiction as:

  “Any behavior in which a person finds temporary pleasure or relief and therefore craves, but then suffers negative consequences and cannot give it up.”
  (03:05)

• If it’s healthy, it’s a passion or habit, not an addiction. The term “addiction” traces back to “slavery”—addicts are not free.

  “If it’s healthy, it’s not an addiction. If it’s an addiction, it’s not healthy.” (03:02)
  “A slave has no choice.” (04:37)

2. Addiction as a Response to Trauma, Not a Personal Failing

• Addiction isn’t a disease, nor a matter of personal choice or genetics, but an “attempt to solve a deep life problem that was imposed on a person by trauma.”

  “Addiction is never a choice, and it’s not some kind of genetic disease…What it actually is is an attempt to solve a problem in your life.” (09:18)

• Both Dr. Maté and Howes share personal stories of feeling “trapped,” using addiction as an escape from pain, shame, or insecurity:

  “More and more is the essence of addiction. It’s always more and more.” (05:14) “You get escape. You’re not thinking about the pain or the shame or the insecurity.” (08:49)

3. Trauma, Culture, and the Myth of "Normal"

• Dr. Maté emphasizes that what is “normal” in our culture is not always healthy; trauma and societal dysfunction fuel mass suffering:

  “The things we consider normal in society are not at all normal from the point of view of human life and human needs. It’s not healthy, it’s totally unhealthy.” (13:04)

• He argues that many addictions and mental illnesses are normal responses to abnormal situations—especially a toxic, disconnected culture.

4. Mind-Body Unity and Chronic Illness

• Dr. Maté critiques Western medicine’s separation of mind and body, advocating for a scientific and holistic approach to health:

  “Tens of thousands of studies show that you can’t separate the mind from the body…emotions significantly influence the onset of illness.” (19:23)

• Personal and community relationships, not just physical factors, affect well-being and chronic disease.

• Notable examples include connections between stress, trauma, and conditions like asthma, arthritis, and even multiple sclerosis.

5. Emotional Suppression and its Impact

• Emotional repression—particularly common in certain family and cultural environments—is a core factor in illness and addictive patterns:

  “What we suppress usually comes to the surface in some way.” (34:21) “Depression comes from having had to push down your emotions…to stay connected to your parents.” (38:13)

• The cost of demanding children or adults suppress their emotions is generational trauma and widespread social harm.

6. Childhood, Parenting, and Generational Patterns

• Emotional needs, especially the need to be “seen” and accepted, is foundational in childhood development:

  “Not being seen is a major source of trauma. Just not being seen for who you are, not being accepted.” (71:06)

• The survival strategy of suppressing emotions starts young, often as a trade for parental attachment.

• These coping mechanisms can become entrenched identities, making healing challenging but necessary.

7. Bringing Trauma Into the Light

• Healing begins with awareness and compassionate self-examination:

  “What you bring out of yourself will save you, and what you don’t will doom you.” (66:30)

• Addressing shame is crucial, as trauma often causes sufferers to believe they are inherently defective:

  “What you’re ashamed about is actually the brilliance of your nervous system that protected you.” (64:00)

• Support, community, and self-compassion are vital—don’t try to do the hardest healing alone.

8. Breaking the Cycle & Finding Greatness

• Dr. Maté advises that healing familial and generational trauma is possible, but requires honesty, advocacy, and supportive environments.
• Even in adverse or oppressive environments, the human spirit’s resilience can shine through:

  “The strength, the capacity to heal...is inherent in all of us.” (74:04)

• Definition of Greatness:

  “A willingness to find your best qualities and to express them in the world. That’s what I see as greatness.” (74:09)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On addiction and identity:

  "Addiction is never a choice...It’s an attempt to solve a problem in your life." — Dr. Gabor Maté (09:18)

• On trauma and coping:

  "Depression comes from having had to push down your emotions… to stay connected to your parents." — Dr. Gabor Maté (38:13)

• On the mind-body connection:

  "Tens of thousands of studies show you can’t separate the mind from the body." — Dr. Gabor Maté (19:23)

• On breaking generational cycles:

  "Not being seen is a major source of trauma." — Dr. Gabor Maté (71:06)

• On community healing:

  "In [Lakota] tradition, when somebody gets sick, the whole community gathers and thanks the person...Your healing is our healing." — Dr. Gabor Maté (16:25)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Definition of Addiction & Healthy Habits – 03:04
• Root of Addiction / Slave to Craving – 04:10–04:43
• Personal Story: Dr. Maté’s Workaholism & Shopping – 05:14–06:14
• What Keeps People Addicted – 07:17
• The Role of Trauma in Addiction – 08:49–09:51
• Addiction as a Coping Mechanism (vs. Disease/Choice) – 09:52
• Healing: Alone or with Support? – 10:14–10:57
• Cultural Roots & The Myth of 'Normal' – 13:04
• Athlete Vulnerability & Societal Shifts – 14:28–14:38
• Mind-Body Disconnection in Western Medicine – 17:28–19:23
• Case Examples (Asthma, Arthritis) – 24:29–25:34
• Lewis's Personal Healing Experience – 25:34–26:53
• Repression, Illness, and Process vs. Diagnosis – 34:21–30:57
• Spontaneous Healing & Relationship to Self – 31:38–33:11
• Parenting and Emotional Expression – 35:03–36:38
• The Power of Self-Compassion – 68:17
• Intergenerational Trauma & Breaking the Cycle – 70:58–71:25
• Inner Resilience in Oppressive Conditions – 73:22–74:04
• The Definition of Greatness – 74:09

Conclusion

In this enlightening conversation, Lewis Howes and Dr. Gabor Maté dismantle mainstream myths about addiction and healing. Instead, they illuminate how trauma, emotional repression, and cultural toxicity give rise to suffering—and how awareness, compassion, and support can point the way to lasting freedom. The episode is an invitation to recognize addiction not as a flaw, but as a meaningful signal deserving understanding and, ultimately, healing.

For those seeking deeper insight:

• Dr. Gabor Maté’s latest book: The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness and Healing in a Toxic Culture
• Further resources available in the episode’s show notes.