The School of Greatness

Episode: Why 63% of Young Men Have Stopped Trying | Scott Galloway

Host: Lewis Howes
Guest: Scott Galloway
Date: November 24, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode features Scott Galloway, entrepreneur, professor, and bestselling author of Notes on Being a Man, in a wide-ranging conversation with Lewis Howes and co-host Scott Barry Kaufman. Centered on the crisis facing young men today, Galloway discusses staggering statistics on male loneliness, directionlessness, and declining well-being. The discussion covers societal and economic trends, cultural shifts, the evolution of gender roles, and the urgent need for mentorship and policy changes. Galloway’s commentary balances hard truths about struggles faced by young men with hope and prescriptions for how individuals and society can level up. The tone is unflinchingly direct, pragmatic, but also compassionate.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Current Crisis for Young Men

• Staggering Statistics:
  • Men are "four times as likely to kill themselves, three times as likely to be addicted or homeless, 12 times as likely to be incarcerated." (Scott Galloway, [01:52])
  • "63% of men under the age of 30 aren't even trying to date." ([16:55])
• Societal empathy towards men’s struggles lags behind other demographics due to perceived historical privilege.

“If it was any other group, I think we'd weigh in with programs and empathy. But because of the under advantage of my generation, there's a lack of empathy.”
— Scott Galloway ([05:20])

2. Shifting Gender Roles and The Identity Void

• Women's societal standing (education, earnings, home ownership) has dramatically improved—a trend Galloway champions.
• Meanwhile, traditionally male "on-ramps" (vocational work, provider role, space for masculine virtues) have been eroded:
  • "We've kind of gone all in on the guy who goes to Harvard, drops out and starts a tech company… The majority of men aren't that dude." ([05:49])
• Fewer men attend religious institutions, play sports, or create relationships through work (remote work exacerbates isolation).

3. The Impact of Technology and the Attention Economy

• Algorithms and tech platforms are sequestering young men from real-life growth, purpose, and connection.
• The allure of screens: social media, online gaming, pornography are synthetic substitutes for in-person risk, perseverance, and relationship-building.
• Galloway’s warning:

“I worry that at the hands of this godlike technology regulated by paleolithic instincts and medieval institutions, that we're evolving a new species of asocial, asexual males.” ([15:10])

4. Decline in ‘Surplus Value’ and Generativity

• Galloway invokes Richard Reeves' definition: a male becomes a man when he adds "surplus value"—when he gives more than he takes in relationships, work, and society.

“I think when you become a man, it's…when you’re generating more economic value than you're absorbing… giving more love and more cloud cover for other people than you have received.” ([18:25])

• Many males, Galloway argues, never reach this threshold, leading to prolonged adolescence and withdrawal into passivity.

5. Romantic Relationships, Standards, and Social Trends

• Women now have more options, are more selective, and society romanticizes independence. Online dating further narrows the pool for men (e.g., "six feet, six figures").
  • “If you take out married men, obese men, men over the age of 50, it's 2% of the population.” ([13:56])
• Men, meanwhile, are less likely to approach women, develop calluses against rejection, or participate in relationship-creating venues.
  • “40% of men 18 to 24 have never asked a woman out in person.” ([39:46])
• If women earn more than men in a relationship, divorce rates double and use of erectile dysfunction drugs triples. ([55:56], [56:13])

6. The Masculinity “Stool”: Provider, Protector, Procreator

• Traditional legs (provider/protector/procreator) are under threat for young men.
• To navigate new realities, men must develop new competencies: economic independence, emotional generosity, and resilience.
• Kindness is under-leveraged as an attractor and a virtue:

“Women instinctively believe at some point they'll be vulnerable… So they're very drawn to men who demonstrate kindness. And that is acts of generosity with no reciprocal expectation.” ([27:18])

7. The Role of Mentorship and Community

• The absence of male mentors is a “single point of failure” for boys.

• “When a boy loses a male role model… he becomes more likely to be incarcerated than graduate from college. …Men need to get involved in a boy’s life. That’s the single point of failure.” ([78:13], [81:13])

• Most mentorship programs have a shortage of male volunteers due to taboos and lack of nurturing impulse.

• Galloway shares transformative stories of mentors in his life (notably Syra, who taught him about investing from age 13, [91:04], [93:17]).

8. Policy Solutions and The Case for Empathy

• Galloway urges broad, age-based economic reforms rather than gender-specific affirmative action:
  • More vocational programming, apprenticeship models.
  • Tax reforms shifting benefits from older, wealthier populations to the young.
  • Raising minimum wage and tackling the intergenerational transfer of wealth.

“Empathy is not a zero sum game. We can still acknowledge the huge obstacles women just face…and at the same time also realize the country and women are not going to continue to flourish if young men are flailing, full stop.” ([50:08])

9. The Opportunity—and Cost—of Women’s Ascent

• Women’s economic gains have been “accretive” for all of society, not a “zero-sum” against young men.
• But both must be lifted:

“Helping some of our young men and specifically with programs for young people, economically, that's not going to hurt women. It doesn't come at the cost of women.” ([50:49])

10. The Power of Forgiveness, Growth, and Generativity

• Galloway recounts his fraught relationship with his absentee father and the decision to "put away the scorecard" and authentically step into being “the kind of son [he wanted] to be.” ([86:19])
• He underscores:

“I would get a lot of joy and reward from having a good relationship with my father. So the unlock is...rather than having a scorecard…just hold yourself to that standard.” ([85:50])

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Male Withdrawal and the Surplus Value Test:
  "A lot of males never get there…At some point it needs to flip where you're taking care of your parents. And also…I didn't really, by that standard, become a man until I was in my 40s." – Scott Galloway ([18:56])

• On Approaching Women and Rejection:
  "If you're a dude that's willing to go up to a woman, figure out a way to express romantic interest while making her feel safe, you're almost already in the top half of men." ([39:46])

• On Kindness:
  “You can learn kindness. It starts with manners. But if you try…small acts of generosity every day, I do think it starts to become second nature.” ([27:40])

• On Masculinity and Leaders:
  "Some of the most powerful men in the United States have just missed that whole protection part of the masculinity." ([35:33])

• On Mentorship:
  "The easiest job I've ever had was mentoring young men. They make so many stupid decisions. Louis, you just start asking them questions." ([81:06])

• Advice for Young Men:
  "Try to resist the temptation to live your life on a screen with an algorithm. ...Get out of the house. Take risks. Express friendship. Express romantic relationship. Apply for jobs you're not qualified for. ...Get out of the house." ([97:04])

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:52] The alarming state of men today: suicide, addiction, homelessness
• [03:48] The evolving role of men in society
• [05:41] The disappearance of vocational paths and male isolation
• [08:00–11:00] The impact of remote work, delayed skills, and declining relationships
• [13:56] The “Six feet, six figures” online dating dilemma
• [18:00–20:00] Surplus value and the real test of manhood
• [29:00] The importance of proactivity and the ability to endure rejection
• [39:46] The crisis in male dating agency and rejection calluses
• [44:08] Societal and policy solutions for young men
• [78:13] Boys without male mentors: increased risk
• [93:00] Galloway’s own childhood mentors and their lifelong impact
• [97:04] Final advice for young men: the necessity of real-world risk

Conclusion & Final Takeaways

Scott Galloway’s Core Message:

• Social and economic changes have left many young men adrift, but the path forward is neither nostalgia for old gender roles nor demonizing men; it’s about lifting all young people with opportunity, mentorship, and a renewed sense of purpose.
• Young men will not thrive online and alone. They must risk, strive, learn to give more than they take, and seek real-world relationships and mentorship.
• Society must invest—policy-wise and interpersonally—in ensuring young men grow into men who protect, provide, and contribute, balancing the historic progress of women with equally urgent support for male development.

“At the end of your life…the anxiety and loneliness you're going to feel without establishing relationships…is going to be so much greater than any fear you might have around what lays beyond that room.”
— Scott Galloway ([97:04])

Scott’s Three Core Lessons or “Truths”:

“I’d want to be known as a generous person who created more value than I absorbed. …I'd want to be known as patriotic. …And ...that I was really into my sons and that it was clear that later in life I saw my purpose as raising patriotic, loving men.” ([100:40])