Podcast Summary: The Shit No One Tells You About Writing

Episode: Double Hooks & Power Imbalances

Date: February 26, 2026
Hosts: Bianca Marais, Carly Watters, CeCe Lyra

Episode Overview

This episode features another deep-dive into the craft and business of writing, focusing on how to sharpen your queries and pages. The hosts, Bianca, Carly, and CeCe, critique two query letters and the opening pages from emerging writers. Key topics include how to make your manuscript stand out, the importance of strong interiority and psychological acuity, the concept of "double hooks" (especially with twin protagonists), urgent stakes and pacing in thrillers, and the centrality of power imbalances in effective storytelling.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Books with Hooks Segment: YA Dystopian Query Critique - "Modified"

[01:59–12:33]

Query Breakdown

• Premise:
  YA dystopian about Winter Edelweiss, a science prodigy who fails a societal "modification" procedure, leading to upheaval in her status and life. Twin sister Aurora passes the test; they swap identities to rebel against a corrupt system.
• Double Hooks:
  • High-concept world + Twin swap/identity switch.
  • High external and internal stakes—government oppression, public execution, sibling dynamics.

CeCe's Feedback ([05:16–09:13])

• Strengths:
  • Great disruption early in the query ("spent her whole life over preparing for modification, but then she fails").
  • World-building and complex stakes well established.
  • Quote:

    "Twin swapping is a thousand percent compelling. So great job there." – CeCe [08:07]

• Suggestions:
  • Avoid abstract internal stakes in the query: focus on concrete external plot points.
  • Clarify causality in the protagonist's journey—make the connection between failure, feelings, and world circumstances more precise.
  • Add a sentence tying the initial disruption (failing modification) to the climactic reveal for narrative full circle.

Carly's Feedback ([09:30–11:01])

• Strengths:
  • The "twin twist" is the strongest, should be even more prominent (“lean into the twin double hook”).
  • Title is category-appropriate.
• Suggestions:
  • Query is too long; trim details about the ending. “The job of the query is to hook an agent, not explain everything.”
  • Let agents be curious about how things are solved; avoid over-explaining.

2. First Pages Critique – "Modified"

[11:07–12:46]/[12:46–21:27]

CeCe's Critique ([12:46–17:35])

• Strengths:
  • Story opens at an inciting incident: the public modification ceremony.
• Areas for Improvement:
  • Too much “story-splaining”—factual worldbuilding without emotional filtering. Need to blend facts and character emotions/thoughts.
  • Quote:

    “The point of interiority is to see how your protagonist processes [details]. What takeaways they gather, what discomfort they experience…” – CeCe [17:17]

  • Example: Contrast in twin’s nails (manicured vs chewed) could reflect character’s deeper insecurity, pride, jealousy, or longing—but the emotion is missing.

Craft Insight: Interiority and Psychological Acuity

• CeCe explains the tiers of interiority (knee-jerk reactions, attention hierarchy, memories, judgments, theorizing/fantasizing). “Even in five opening pages of bestselling books, all these layers exist.” – CeCe [18:55]
• Action beats can layer worldbuilding, character, and emotion together (Bianca [20:38]).

Carly’s Agent Perspective ([21:27–23:47])

• Notes YA dystopian as a saturated market; the “twin hook” is what sets this book apart—lean into this sooner and with more prominence.
• The story needs to “sing” for an agent to drop everything for it: open with elements that set it apart (“the twin hook is essential”).

3. Books with Hooks Segment: Thriller Query Critique – "Such a Good Girl"

[25:17–30:38]

Query Breakdown

• Premise:
  Meg returns to her hometown after decades, following her sister’s mysterious disappearance years prior. The current case of another missing young woman, Caitlyn, parallels her sister’s. Meg finds her sister’s diary and uncovers secrets.
• Author Note:
  Query includes mention of self-published romance novels (10,000 copies sold), seeking traditional publishing for thrillers.

Carly’s Feedback ([27:11–30:38])

• Strengths:
  • Compelling premise: protagonist returns home, cold case, found diary, another missing girl.
• Suggestions:
  • The hook is buried; needs to be at the very top. ("When Meg returns to Echo Falls... she discovers her missing sister’s 1996 diary, which links a cold case to a modern day kidnapping.”)
  • Bio should state self-publishing experience more succinctly; focus on partnership, not sales detail.
  • Elevate urgency and clarify present-day stakes.

CeCe's Feedback ([30:42–34:33])

• Urgency & Stakes:
  • Urgency lacking: needs a tighter ticking clock or clear reason the investigation must happen now.
  • Stakes feel “secondhand”—it’s about her sister and a stranger, not personally visceral enough for the reader.
  • Encourage emphasizing how Meg’s investigation puts her own life in danger (personal stake/escalation).
  • Cautions about too much diary reading as action—it slows pace in fiction.
• Technical Suggestion:
  • Specify dual timeline or not, clarify structure in query.

4. First Pages Critique – "Such a Good Girl"

[34:37–42:14]

Carly’s Feedback ([34:37–39:48])

• Strengths:
  • Mystery is presented quickly: missing posters, reference to sister’s disappearance.
• Issues with Opening Scenes:
  • Small-town grocery store scene with cashier feels unrealistic; the cashier recognizes Meg despite only being in town five years.
  • Tone and atmosphere do not match the genre’s potential (“I want the world to close in on her… more atmospheric.”)
• Suggested Fix:
  • Make character recognition plausible, or leverage a prop (e.g., “Mrs. Barnhart’s sweater”) instead of forced dialogue.

CeCe’s Feedback ([39:51–44:30])

• Power Imbalance:
  • Every opening should establish power dynamics—here, the scene with the cashier lacks any power imbalance or tension.
  • “You cannot start a story in a place with no power imbalance. You just can't.” – CeCe [41:30]
• Emotional Calibration:
  • Emotional response needs to come before thoughts: visceral reaction to missing poster should hit first.
  • Avoid overwriting—don’t repeat information.
• Scene Purpose:
  • If the only reason for a character interaction is to share information, it’s not serving the story. Elevate tension, atmosphere, or rethink the character’s purpose.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Double Hook Craft:

  "I would lean into the twin stuff as much as possible. The plot itself, the double hook being like the twin hook... you don't have to over explain the ending." – Carly [10:30]

• Interiority as Superpower:

  “Plot is what happens. Interiority is how your protagonist processes what happens. And psychological acuity is why it matters.” – CeCe [00:30]

• On Story-Splaining:

  “There are many, many paragraphs...in which there is absolutely no emotion, no filtering through her interiority. The author is focused on collective world building.” – CeCe [13:15]

• Power Imbalance Mantra:

  "You cannot start a story in a place with no power imbalance. You just can't." – CeCe [41:30]

• On Stakes in Thrillers:

  "I don’t want secondhand fear and secondhand urgency...it needs to be personal, visceral, urgent, and it needs to escalate." – CeCe [34:20]

• On Query Basics:

  “The job of the query is to hook an agent, not explain everything.” – Carly [10:50]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• CeCe's intro on interiority & promotion of her course: [00:00–01:34]
• YA dystopian query ("Modified") read and feedback: [01:59–12:33]
• First pages critique for "Modified": [11:07–21:27]
• Thriller query ("Such a Good Girl") read and feedback: [25:17–34:33]
• First pages critique for "Such a Good Girl": [34:37–44:30]

Tone and Style

• Direct, practical, and occasionally irreverent: Laughter, metaphor (e.g., "lizard brain"), and candid “truth bomb” moments.
• Supportive critique: Hosts balance encouragement with honest assessment (“Brava!” and “That is a harsh truth, but necessary for a thriller.”).
• Pedagogical: Frequent craft lessons—interiority, action beats, emotional calibration, power dynamics.

Final Takeaways

• Make your manuscript stand out by leaning into unique hooks—especially quick and clear in saturated genres.
• Openings must combine external action with immediate, visceral character interiority.
• Power imbalances and tension are non-negotiable—never settle for scenes without them, especially at the opening.
• Queries should hook, not summarize; burying the lead or providing a blow-by-blow erodes interest.
• Stakes must be personal and escalating, particularly in crime/thriller genres.
• Always be intentional with every line and scene—if its purpose is solely to deliver information, reimagine to serve tension, character, or conflict instead.

For detailed written notes from the episode, including line edits, listeners are directed to the Substack (for paid subscribers).