THE SHIT NO ONE TELLS YOU ABOUT WRITING
Episode: Perfecting the Page One Experience
Date: January 8, 2026
Guests: Rhiannon Harvey (author), Bianca Marais (host), Carly Watters (literary agent), CeCe Lyra (literary agent)

Episode Overview

This episode focuses on “perfecting the page one experience” for emerging writers, using live critique of a query letter and opening pages from debut author Rhiannon Harvey’s YA manuscript Mara’s Call. Hosts Bianca, Carly, and CeCe provide honest, instructive feedback—diving into query letter best practices, market positioning challenges, and craft elements essential for compelling beginnings. It’s a hands-on look at how agents and editors analyze submissions, making this a goldmine for anyone polishing their submission package.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Small Talk & Author Introduction

• The crew opens with playful banter about animal obsessions (sharks for Rhiannon, raccoons for Bianca; 01:14–02:55) and discuss how these personal quirks infuse their writing.
• Rhiannon’s marine biology passion and ocean settings are introduced (“I am a marine biology nerd and my stories tend to feature the ocean.” – Rhiannon, 01:22).

2. Query Letter Live Reading and Critique

Rhiannon Reads Her Query Letter

• Rhiannon presents her query for Mara’s Call, a YA speculative fiction centered on a girl uncovering her family’s secrets on a remote New England island. (03:38–06:07)

Key Query Elements:

• Atmospheric, oceanic setting.
• Psychological mystery involving family trauma and possibly supernatural phenomena.
• Author’s credentials as a marine biology expert.

Carly’s Critique (06:21)

• Praise: “You did an incredible job. It is so good...I’m totally enamored with it.” (06:21)
• Title feedback: Mara’s Call feels off since the MC is Perry, not Mara. “I think you need a more atmospheric title.” (06:21)
• Mixed metaphors: “Sea whispers secrets and nothing stays buried for long” is flagged as incongruent.
• Lack of clear plot “hook” in the query’s opening paragraph. Carly suggests something more gripping, e.g., “A 15-year-old girl must uncover the truth about her aunt's disappearance...”
• Sensitivity language: Suggests “died by suicide” vs. “committed suicide”.
• Author bio: Suggests tightening to focus on connection to story, not ‘teaching moment’.
• Overall: Strong, polished, “we can tell you listen to the show. Good job, Rhiannon.” (09:49)

CeCe’s Critique (09:53)

• High praise: “Definitely in the top 1% of query letters we’ve received. So polished. Really, really strong.” (09:53)
• Plot motivation: Concern protagonist’s drive is too intuitive; wants clearer, plot-driven motivation for investigation. “If the protagonist's motivation to investigate a mystery comes purely from intuition, the reader will not experience that same intuition...” (09:53)
• Antagonistic force: Suggests making island antagonists or threats more explicit in the query.
• Endorses “inspire love for the ocean” line in bio, disagrees with Carly for personal warmth.
• General: Query makes her “very curious, which is the goal.” (09:53)

Carly Adds (14:02)

• Wonders about the presence of “active participants”—other teens, clear antagonists.
• Suggests even a mention would sharpen plot stakes.

Author Perspective & Q&A (15:38)

• Rhiannon welcomes alternate title ideas: “I would really be open to any and all interesting suggestions at this point.” (15:38)
• Explains query’s struggle: wants to balance “plot points, but also establishing vibes.” (17:55)
• Shares context: book is set in the 1990s, drawing on historical overfishing concerns. (20:13)

Craft & Query Writing Tips

• CeCe: Focus on plot over vibes in the query. “Plot is just what query letters need to focus on…sometimes a vibey sentence can stay, but…sprinkles of salt, not ingredient.” (21:15)
• Suggests exercise: Write a “plot-only” version, then combine elements.

3. Opening Pages—Summary and Critique

Brief Scene Overview by Rhiannon (25:53)

• Perry, sent to a remote island after her mother’s breakdown, arrives to stares and whispers; meets a mysterious boy and her aunt. Mood is dark, foggy—paralleling Perry’s internal uncertainty.

CeCe’s Feedback (27:24)

• Writing Quality: “The writing is great. Like, so great. There wasn’t a single clunky sentence.” (27:24)
• Suggests starting with Perry’s reaction (“Perry pretended not to hear the mutters”) for immediate intrigue.
• Interior access: Wants more “head and heart”—deep interiority and emotional processing throughout. “Right now Perry’s getting 30% more attention than the other characters. It needs to be like 230% more.” (34:51)
• Contradiction: Notes Perry staring at the island “hungrily” and wants that tension made explicit in narration.
• Character Dynamics: Asks for Perry’s emotional reaction to whispers, her aunt’s comments, and her own contradictions about returning.
• Inspirational moment: CeCe recalls as a child wanting to know others’ thoughts—“Books… do the magical thing of giving me access to her interiority.” (34:21)

Carly’s Feedback (34:56)

• Echoes CeCe’s desire for more protagonist reaction/interiority, e.g., how Perry feels about the ship, meeting the boy, or her aunt.
• Praises atmospheric writing: “You did such a great job…spoke to obviously your intimate understanding of, you know, how ships and all of that works.”
• Setting and stakes: Commends opening at “the most interesting point in [the protagonist’s] life.”
• Suggests highlighting familial/biological resonance in the aunt’s first appearance.
• Summarizes: “Lots and lots of praise! … Little bit of interiority will go a long way.” (38:11)

Memorable Quotes & Notable Moments

• CeCe: “Definitely in the top 1% of query letters we’ve received. So polished. Really, really strong.” (09:53)
• Carly: “You did an incredible job. It is so good...I’m totally enamored with it.” (06:21)
• Rhiannon: “My goal is to use my background in marine science and the maritime industry to inspire love and concern for the ocean in young adults.” (Query reading, 05:50)
• CeCe: “Books…do the magical thing of giving me access to her interiority.” (34:21)

Market Positioning & Genre Discussion (38:27–45:23)

• Rhiannon queries feedback on market fit—YA vs. adult vs. new adult.
• Carly: Points out query doesn’t highlight interpersonal teen dynamics, only plot; wonders if it would sell better as adult upmarket fiction.
• CeCe: Encourages Rhiannon not to change solely for rejections, but to focus on making the character connection “sing.” Notes new adult is a growing, hungry publishing market.
• CeCe offers: Regardless of age category, “you still need to work on the connecting with character element.”
• CeCe gifts her interiority/psychological acuity class to Rhiannon as thanks for being an open guest.

Timestamps of Important Segments

• 01:14 – Rhiannon introduces herself and shark obsession
• 03:38 – Rhiannon reads query letter
• 06:21 – Carly’s critique
• 09:53 – CeCe’s critique
• 14:02 – Discussion on antagonists and plot clarity
• 15:38 – Title brainstorming and author response
• 20:13 – Rhiannon describes manuscript’s 1990s setting
• 21:15 – CeCe’s query writing exercise
• 25:53 – Rhiannon summarizes her opening pages
• 27:24 – CeCe’s page one critique (emphasis on interiority)
• 34:56 – Carly’s feedback on opening pages
• 38:27 – Rhiannon’s big-picture question: market fit (YA/adult)
• 42:01 – Panel discusses YA, new adult, and market trends
• 45:12 – CeCe offers Rhiannon free access to her course

Takeaways for Writers

• Query letters must focus on plot, stakes, and clear motivation, with “vibes” as seasoning, not substance.
• First pages need strong emotional access to the protagonist—not just what happens, but how your character feels, processes, and experiences it.
• If industry feedback suggests your work is “between” YA and adult, examine where emotional resonance, pacing, and voice align best—and consider where interpersonal dynamics land.
• Your lived experience (like Rhiannon’s marine adventures) can enrich a manuscript’s atmosphere and credibility—just be sure to link that organically in bio sections.
• Great writing is about making readers want to be inside your protagonist’s mind; unspool not just events, but internal contradictions and emotional truths.

Final Thoughts

This episode is a masterclass in submission strategy and craft, offering not only precise, actionable suggestions for query letters and opening pages, but also an honest glimpse into the agenting process and the current publishing landscape. Rhiannon’s openness and the hosts’ generosity make for an instructive, encouraging experience for all querying writers.

If you’re polishing your first pages or query, cue this episode for both a confidence boost and a checklist for moving from “good” to “page-turning.”