Podcast Summary: "The Shit No One Tells You About Writing"

Episode Title: The Stories We Tell Ourselves to Make Them More Palatable
Release Date: February 13, 2025
Hosts: Bianca Marais, Carly Watters, and CeCe Lyra
Guest: Sarah Chihaya

Introduction to the Episode

In this poignant episode of "The Shit No One Tells You About Writing," host Bianca Marais engages in a deep and introspective conversation with critic and essayist Sarah Chihaya. Joined by literary agents Carly Watters and CeCe Lyra from P.S. Literary Agency, the trio delves into the complexities of writing memoirs, the interplay between readers and writers, and the transformative power of literature.

About the Guest and Her Work

Bianca introduces Sarah Chihaya, highlighting her impressive credentials, including her 2023 Whiting Creative Nonfiction grant and contributions to esteemed publications such as The New Yorker and The Yale Review. Sarah is the co-author of "Ferrante: An Experiment in Collective Criticism" and resides in Queens, New York. The focal point of their discussion is Sarah's memoir, "Bibliophobia," which intricately weaves memoir and literary criticism.

Reading from "Bibliophobia"

At [04:06], Sarah shares an excerpt from her book, providing listeners with a raw and honest glimpse into her tumultuous relationship with reading and writing. She articulates the duality of bibliophilia and bibliophobia, describing books as both a sanctuary and a source of profound anxiety. Sarah's evocative prose captures the essence of her struggle with cultural identity, depression, and the often unspoken demands placed on literature.

Notable Quote:
"I am disturbed and irritated whenever I encounter the moralizing claim that the main point of reading fiction is relentlessly positive self-improvement. Reading is good because it makes you good." ([07:15])

The Writing Process and Selecting Influential Books

Bianca commends Sarah on the depth of her work and shares her personal connection to Anne of Green Gables, expressing how it profoundly impacted her as a child. Sarah discusses the challenging process of selecting which books to highlight in "Bibliophobia." She emphasizes the difficulty in narrowing down influential texts, ultimately focusing on those that aligned seamlessly with her life experiences and narrative arc.

Notable Quote:
"It was a constant process of cutting down what I just was sort of wanting to tell and what I had to tell." ([12:36])

Evolving Relationship with Literature

The conversation shifts to how readers' perceptions of books evolve over time. Bianca draws a parallel with the philosophical notion that one cannot step into the same river twice, highlighting how personal growth alters the impact of literature. Sarah echoes this sentiment, reflecting on how revisiting certain books can either diminish their influence or reaffirm their significance.

Notable Quote:
"Books, like people, should not be asked to save us. It's not a fair demand, but perhaps some part of me also believes that I might need some darkness to fight darkness." ([11:20])

Transitioning from Academic to Creative Writing

Sarah delves into her shift from academic writing to memoir, discussing the inherent challenges and the imposter syndrome that plagued her during her scholarly pursuits. She recounts her experience co-authoring "Ferrante: An Experiment in Collective Criticism," which served as a departure from the rigid structures of academic literature, allowing for a more personal and fluid narrative style.

Notable Quote:
"I have to get over that and just say, maybe I wasn't supposed to write that book. Like that's fine just because I had the ideas, like someone else can have them or maybe I'll write them in some different form later." ([20:56])

Exploring the Unreliable Narrator in Memoir

Bianca introduces the concept of the unreliable narrator in memoirs, prompting Sarah to discuss the delicate balance between truth and narrative in her writing. Sarah acknowledges the difficulty in determining what holds significance in one's life story and the tension between personal perceptions and external expectations.

Notable Quote:
"I have been lying to you. I've been avoiding the fact that they are events from my childhood that I remember as events clearly and factually." ([27:40])

Humor as a Coping Mechanism in Memoir

The hosts and Sarah explore the role of humor in recounting traumatic experiences. Sarah explains how humor serves as a defense mechanism, allowing writers to present painful memories in a more digestible manner. This approach, however, necessitates a confrontation with raw emotions when unearthing the unfiltered truth in memoir.

Notable Quote:
"You blunt the edges. You find these ways to tell stories such that you can laugh them off and say they're not serious or didn't happen." ([32:20])

Conclusion and Final Thoughts

As the episode draws to a close, Bianca reflects on the universal struggle of writers to balance personal narrative with the desire to be understood. She emphasizes the importance of authenticity in memoir writing and commends Sarah for her courageous exploration of difficult themes. The conversation concludes with an affirmation of the therapeutic potential of writing and the shared human experience within literary creation.

Key Takeaways:

• Complex Relationship with Books: Sarah articulates the intricate balance between loving and fearing literature, highlighting how books can simultaneously heal and harm.

• Challenges in Memoir Writing: The process of selecting which personal stories to share is fraught with difficulty, as writers grapple with what is significant and what may be dismissed.

• Evolution of Literary Impact: Personal growth affects how readers perceive and are influenced by literature, reinforcing the idea that both the reader and the book transform over time.

• Humor as a Narrative Tool: Utilizing humor allows writers to navigate and present traumatic experiences more comfortably, though it requires later moments of vulnerability.

• Breaking Academic Molds: Transitioning from academic to creative writing involves overcoming imposter syndrome and embracing a more personal and fluid narrative style.

Notable Quotes with Attribution:

1. (Sarah Chihaya, [07:15]): "I am disturbed and irritated whenever I encounter the moralizing claim that the main point of reading fiction is relentlessly positive self-improvement. Reading is good because it makes you good."

2. (Sarah Chihaya, [12:36]): "It was a constant process of cutting down what I just was sort of wanting to tell and what I had to tell."

3. (Sarah Chihaya, [11:20]): "Books, like people, should not be asked to save us. It's not a fair demand, but perhaps some part of me also believes that I might need some darkness to fight darkness."

4. (Sarah Chihaya, [20:56]): "I have to get over that and just say, maybe I wasn't supposed to write that book. Like that's fine just because I had the ideas, like someone else can have them or maybe I'll write them in some different form later."

5. (Sarah Chihaya, [27:40]): "I have been lying to you. I've been avoiding the fact that they are events from my childhood that I remember as events clearly and factually."

6. (Sarah Chihaya, [32:20]): "You blunt the edges. You find these ways to tell stories such that you can laugh them off and say they're not serious or didn't happen."

Final Remarks

This episode offers invaluable insights into the nuanced world of memoir writing, the psychological interplay between readers and writers, and the transformative journey of self-expression. Sarah Chihaya's candid exploration of her literary struggles and triumphs serves as an inspiration to emerging writers navigating their own creative paths.