On this week's episode: Trump finds a new way to bomb ... Americans learn they will diarrhea themselves to death with measles before they’ll vote for a black lady ...
And Republicans get mad about the ethnic retcon of the epic poem they all definitely read.

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Headline Sources:

Trump tries jokes at WHCA dinner 2: https://www.nytimes.com/live/2026/07/24/us/trump-news#is-this-supposed-to-be-fun-trump-hurls-insults-at-correspondents-dinner

Dr. Phil reveals the White House had him review UFO files to see how the public would react to them: https://www.the-independent.com/news/world/americas/us-politics/dr-phil-trump-ufo-files-b3019901.html

America, land of diarrhea lettuce and measles: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/07/24/well/eat/cyclospora-outbreak-states-cdc.html
https://www.nytimes.com/2026/07/24/well/measles-record-united-states-numbers.html

Trump Orders Warnings Placed at ‘Inaccurate’ Smithsonian History Museum: https://www.nytimes.com/2026/07/24/arts/design/smithsonian-signs-trump-executive-order.html

New York sculptor spent $100,000 to make a Charlie Kirk statue no one wants to buy: https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/jul/20/sculptor-charlie-kirk-statue-new-york

Elon Musk is gonna make his OWN Odyssey: https://www.theguardian.com/film/2026/jul/22/elon-musk-grok-imagine-historically-accurate-ai-homers-odyssey-christopher-nolan