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Candace Bushnell On Modern Dating, Sex & The City, & Evolving Gender Roles In Society
01:13:04
#889: Join us as we sit down with Candace Bushnell – best-selling novelist, TV producer, & most recently the star of her own one-woman show, the critically acclaimed True Tales of Sex, Success and Sex and The City. A cultural icon who redefined...
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- [00:00]
Michael Bostic
The following podcast is a Dear Media Production. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire.
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Lauren Everts
Fantastic.
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Michael Bostic
And he's a serial entrepreneur, a very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride.
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Lauren Everts
Get ready for some major realness.
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Michael Bostic
Welcome to the Skinny Confidential. Him and Her.
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Lauren Everts
Come on in as we sit down with Candice Bushnell. She is a best selling novelist, a TV producer, and most recently the star star of her own one woman show. It's called True Tales of Sex Success and Sex in the City. This episode goes all over the place. It gets a little heated at moments, which I'm sure you guys will enjoy. And it's honest, it's raw, it's candid. Candace Bushnell, welcome to the him and her show.
- [00:51]
Michael Bostic
This is the Skinny Confidential. Him and Her.
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Lauren Everts
One of the things that I'm most fascinated about writers is it's a lot of work and it's a lot of discipline. Do you have a cadence and a routine that you adhere to every single day?
- [01:09]
Candace Bushnell
Well, first of all, I'm not writing a book now for a variety of reasons. I've been resisting writing a book since really since the pandemic, because you have to spend so much time alone. I am doing a one woman show which I've performed literally all over the world and will be doing in New York city again on December 5th. I have to put in that little plug. And yes, I have a routine which is basically writing six hours a day. Whoa, ten pages a day, kind of whichever comes first. I mean, there have been days when I really warmed up and I could write 25 pages in a day. But there's a lot of pressure writing a book. You have deadlines, you have an advance, you really have to stick to the schedule. And it's not just six hours a day when you're writing, it's the rest of the day, which is absorbing, you know, material. Looking at other, you know, other books, other novels, absorbing like other creative.
- [02:37]
Lauren Everts
You.
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Candace Bushnell
Know, outlets for inspiration. And when I'm really writing a book, I don't go out. I mean, I would go out for maybe an hour a day. Wow. So it's a very, you know, it's a novel is still an entertainment product that one person makes. And it takes a long time. You know, it just, it takes probably at least a year to write the book. And then there's editing and all of that. So, you know, it's a two year, two or three year investment. And then when you're finished, I mean, with every single book that I've written. You look at Amazon and it's like, did these people even read the same book that I wrote? Because somehow with books, people come with, like, all of their history, all of their neuroses, all of their psychoses, all of their prejudices they bring to your book and to your writing. And, you know, people aren't like, my, you know, my point of view is pretty absurdist.
- [04:12]
Michael Bostic
What do you mean by that?
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Candace Bushnell
It's absurd. It's about how absurd life is, okay? And that was really what's driven all of my writing. So in that sense, it's like, this is my voice. It's always been my voice. I'm not afraid to write the truth about people, which a lot of people who read books, they want to read, you know, a happy ending where everybody's nice, et cetera. And as an observer, I just. I can't buy into that, and I can't fake it. So how much of that's one of the realities, I would say, of writing a novel? It's really about your voice. And, like, sometimes people get it and sometimes they don't. Whereas I have found, you know, when people are looking at a screen or anything where there's an actor and it's presented to them, that seems to be a much more universal experience. Like, so many people love Sex and the City. You know, it's a TV show. It's on tv, it's on a screen. When you. When people go to a movie, you know, there. There tends to be a sort of unanimous viewpoint about it.
- [05:38]
Lauren Everts
That's kind of the beauty of art, though. I feel like it's. It's. It's art. Some people love it, some people hate it.
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Michael Bostic
Does it bother you?
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Candace Bushnell
True.
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Michael Bostic
If people don't get what you're trying to convey or don't like the work or are critical of it, or is it. Is it not? Like, if you read one of those Amazon reviews, you're like, they just don't get in it over the.
- [05:55]
Candace Bushnell
You know, you just. That was something that writers never had to deal with in the past. And, you know, I do think that in general, people. You know, there's a lot of criticism out there, and. Do people want to destroy you? Yes, they do. And, you know, I. You know, there's so many actors. Like when I did Lipstick Jungle, the actors on Lipstick Jungle, which was based on one of my books, you know, they were really disturbed by the things that they were reading online.
- [06:32]
Lauren Everts
Like, give an example of something that disturbed people. That was an absurdity of Life.
- [06:39]
Candace Bushnell
That'S too complicated. I, I, you know, something that disturbed people. This would be what, or like she's saying like a review that would tell me, you know, that they were very disturbed and they found it, you know, people criticizing their looks and this and that. And so that made it hard for them to like go out on the set because they were very self conscious. You know, are people gonna dislike this? Are they going to dislike that? And this has ended up being a much more serious conversation than I was expecting to have. I thought we were gonna have fun.
- [07:17]
Lauren Everts
We are gonna have fun and it's.
- [07:17]
Candace Bushnell
Gonna be late and, and fluffy.
- [07:20]
Michael Bostic
We can make it light and fluffy. I think we're just curious about this process because, you know, somebody who's built such an extensive career doing what you do and have kind of had tentacles now move into, you know, television and books and so many things. I like, one of the questions, I was wondering is how much of that do you think is kind of God given talent versus the practices around the discipline of actually, like, do you think if you have the right practices and discipline, you can become a great writer and write great stories? Or do you think some of it is natural? Like how much? What's the kind of like the balance, I guess?
- [07:51]
Candace Bushnell
Well, I think that's hard to say. There is like, I do think that there's an X factor with things. And you know, that's one of the reasons why there are movie stars. That's one of the reasons why they're influencers. Like a lot of the time you look at these influencers and you're like, they just have that X factor that makes everybody want to look at them in that medium. And you know, it's the same thing with novels too. I mean, there's some people who, they just, they have something that naturally connects with a large audience. And you know, then there is the, you know, there's the discipline of doing it. And you know, when I was younger I felt like, you know, if I didn't write, I was going to die. So I think that if you're going to be a writer or an actor or an artist, you have to have that innate passion where you feel like if you don't do this, you just have no reason for living. And that was really how I felt for a very long time, long time. And, and you know, that was what made me pursue like being a novelist really.
- [09:18]
Lauren Everts
If someone's listening and they want to get into the profession of writing, what are some other tips that you would give them?
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Candace Bushnell
Do you Know, I really resist the whole idea of giving people tips because there's so many different paths to being a writer. You know, it's like, what kind of writer do you want to be?
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Lauren Everts
Right.
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Candace Bushnell
You know, number one, like, you know, I always would get asked that question at book signings. And finally I asked this guy, you know, what kind of writer do you want to be? And he said, oh, I just want to write better emails.
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Michael Bostic
Less emails.
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Candace Bushnell
I just want to write better emails. So, you know, there are a million different paths, but it's really about having, you know, the passion, I mean really the single mindedness of doing it that, you know, makes, I suppose, makes for success. But it's like you have to have that passion. I don't think it can really come from the outside.
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Michael Bostic
Yeah, that's, I guess that's what I was asking you was like how much, you know, some people just like they want to strap a formula to something. Like if I do this thing and follow these directions, then I will become the thing. But I think that's, well, you know.
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Candace Bushnell
I mean, one of the things that I see again and again, and one sees this in all of the creative fields, you know, there are people who are incredibly talented, but they don't connect with a large audience. And at the end of the day, it's all about selling, it's all about money. If you make an entertainment product and people buy it and pay money for it, you will be successful. People spend as much time as the successful writer, you know, writing books and they just, for whatever reason, it doesn't connect with the audience. And that's, you know, that's like the X factor. That's the sort of mystery of, you know, you don't know, you don't know.
- [11:39]
Michael Bostic
But I imagine it's so hard to not make it as a novelist or a writer because you have to put so much into that for so long and then if it.
- [11:48]
Candace Bushnell
And I know so many people who have not made it.
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Michael Bostic
Yeah, that's tough.
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Candace Bushnell
I mean, you know, living in New York, I've known tons of people over, you know, over the years. They're wonderfully talented, but for some reason it doesn't connect.
- [12:11]
Lauren Everts
How do you think you're the perfect person to ask this how dating has changed since the 90s? What has changed?
- [12:18]
Candace Bushnell
Well, people have changed enormously and we now live in an era where it's all about being an independent person and not depending on other people. So I mean, just, you know, physically, you know, the fact that you can be a single independent person you know, live on your own is something that like, that's really changed. You know, in the 1950s, there was no soup for one. So, you know, you couldn't go to a supermarket. And I mean, even now it's hard to go to a supermarket and buy, you know, food for just like one person. But back then it was even harder. And you know, we've just evolved into, I mean, it's probably part of a continuum, but we've become a society where people can be single and live on their own. And when people can do something, they do. That's what I found. Like, I used to have a radio show on Sirius and I had a plastic surgeon on, and this was back in probably 2010. And I was kind of like against plastic surgery. Like, oh, it's cheating because of my background. Of course now I'm like, everybody should get it. But, but so I said to her, why do you think so many people are getting plastic surgery? And she said, because they can. And it's often that simple of an answer. Because people can, because they can live on their own and be independent. And we have our phones where you can construct your own entertainment. And I mean, I think the future is really more and more single. Huh.
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Michael Bostic
Well, I mean, listen, not a political statement, but you have people like Elon Musk saying like the greatest risk to humanity is population collapsing.
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Candace Bushnell
Because I 100% disagree with that. If these men can come up with crypto war, all kind AI, all kinds of other inventions, you can figure out how to make the economy work with fewer people.
- [15:02]
Michael Bostic
Well, no, I think so.
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Candace Bushnell
Basically what he is saying is he wants a Ponzi scheme, which is the most basic economic.
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Michael Bostic
He wants people to have more children.
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Candace Bushnell
Why?
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Michael Bostic
Because he thinks in his mind, based on, and a lot of people share this, that if people aren't at least replacement of themselves, right? Like, you know, you're having enough children to at least replace society that you will slowly, over time, collapse. Decided that way. That again, it's not my theory, I'm just sharing.
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Candace Bushnell
I completely disagree with that.
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Michael Bostic
Pull up the graph. And we don't have a graph.
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Candace Bushnell
I mean, I totally disagree with that because first of all, there were, you know, there are exponentially so many more people in the last 20 years than there were for like all of human history. And guess what? People were just fine. I mean, people look different and they, you know, people want those days.
- [15:56]
Michael Bostic
Okay, so let's follow a different thread. Like what? So if you, if people are going to start to be more alone and more single what do you think then happens to our society? Like, what do you think that looks like for future generations?
- [16:08]
Candace Bushnell
Well, I mean, what do you think it looks like with AI?
- [16:11]
Michael Bostic
Well, I think. I think it's.
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Lauren Everts
I think a lot of guys have, like, robot girlfriends and women can have.
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Candace Bushnell
I saw something on TikTok the other day about some robot boyfriends and that don't talk back.
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Lauren Everts
And they. You don't have to pick up their boxers. You don't have to put the seat down. I mean, it sounds kind of nice.
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Candace Bushnell
I think in the future there will be a lot fewer people. Sometimes I think, you know, there'll be so much like climate change that, you know, Manhattan will be some kind of giant bubble.
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Lauren Everts
I think people are over, you know.
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Candace Bushnell
Big bubble over it.
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Lauren Everts
They're overstimulated. I think the. The Internet has gotten everyone overstimulated. So by the time we all get to our beds, we're all exhausted of stimulation. So then if you're gonna add another person, the person better be fucking great, because if you're not fucking great, then I don't wanna be overstimulated anymore. I've had enough. At the end of the day, I think like, 10 years ago, maybe we weren't as stimulated by everything because there wasn't the phone in the face all the time, all day long.
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Candace Bushnell
Well, this is one of the realities. Whether we like it or not. Technology tends to only go in one direction and it's not gonna slow down. You know, we're not going back.
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Lauren Everts
Right.
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Candace Bushnell
And technology is making, you know, I mean, I think that there will be fewer people, and I pray that there will be, like, less violence, less abuse. You know, fewer animals will need to be killed. I mean, the system that we live in is. It's pretty flawed. I mean. Yeah, but you have to admit there's.
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Michael Bostic
A lot of terrible things.
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Candace Bushnell
I mean, but, you know, the reality is that the, you know, the family thing, it works for a small percentage of people. That's the problem. And, you know, the problem with, you know, telling women that, oh, they've got to find a guy and their only route to happiness is, you know, you know, being married and having kids. The problem with that is that it doesn't work for so many women because men are abusive, they leave. You know, the list goes on and on. So that structure works now for. It never worked great for most women, but now women have the opportunity to not have to put themselves in those positions. And, you know, that system doesn't work well for at least 50% of women. So that's the problem.
- [19:01]
Lauren Everts
Your work, I think, has. Has contributed to making women feel more independent and more confident.
- [19:08]
Candace Bushnell
I hope so. Yeah, I hope so, because I have really been a feminist ever since I was a little girl. I was hyper aware of. Of sexism, really. And I've always, you know, I grew up in the 60s. I mean, it was in your face here, this area. Yes. You know, it was. It was really, really in your face. There was no escaping it.
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Lauren Everts
When do you remember the first moment that you sort of recognized sexism?
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Candace Bushnell
Probably when I went to kindergarten at four and was told that women could only have four. Nurse, teacher, secretary, or librarian, but you could not be a doctor. And, you know, women were. You know, people would come out and say, like, women aren't as smart as men. You know, women aren't creative the way men are. So there were all of these restrictions on women and who you. It wasn't just who you could be. It was also how you were supposed to think. Like, you really. You weren't supposed to be critical of anything. You were supposed to just accept things and be quiet.
- [20:25]
Lauren Everts
When do you remember challenging that?
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Candace Bushnell
From a very early age. Like, probably. Probably like four. You know, I mean, me and my sisters, I had two younger sisters, and, you know, we just didn't buy in, just didn't buy into any of it. I never have. And I always had lots of little girlfriends, you know, and really saw the whole false narrative of men and women and the sexist narrative when you saw. And the restrictions of that.
- [21:07]
Michael Bostic
But okay, so, like, let's. If following this line of reasoning, if like, say 50% have a good experience and 50% have a bad experience, then, like, what is the universal advice to men and women about relationships?
- [21:18]
Candace Bushnell
I don't have any universal advice to men and women about relationships.
- [21:25]
Michael Bostic
But if you're saying 50% of the relationships are not good experiences, like, I think, like, what I'm getting at is like, what's the takeaway for most people? It's like, don't try or still try.
- [21:36]
Candace Bushnell
I don't know. I don't know. I mean, I don't think that I have to have the answers for this. I think that. I think that women like the fantasy of a relationship. And, you know, there's a lot of, like, fantasizing about who this person is and what they're gonna do for you. And, you know, I mean, it's like fantasy versus the reality. I mean, I'm just talking about the reality. And it's probably more than 50% of women who it doesn't work for them. I mean, judging from things that one sees online. I mean, one of the things that's different now about, I would say, you know, from 20 years ago, is that this is the first. First time I've ever seen women speaking out and saying, guess what? Motherhood didn't work for me. I didn't have the experiences that everyone said I was going to have. And, you know, relationships, heterosexual relationships, didn't work for me either. And that was something that women always kept pretty quiet. It was always like, you know, oh, but there's still hope that you'll find, you know, this person. And so this is really the first time with social media that I have seen women speaking out. Like, you know, the 4B movement.
- [23:16]
Lauren Everts
When you started writing, everything you were writing, was that one of the pillars that you wanted to hit is to question. That was, did you when you set out to write everything?
- [23:26]
Candace Bushnell
I've always questioned it. You know, it's just. It's in my nature, it's in my personality to question it. I've always questioned it. I question everything. I question, you know, social status, money, power, all of it.
- [23:47]
Lauren Everts
I love that about you. I think that's amazing. And personally, I think, like, why do we. We don't all have to like being a mom. We don't all have to like being married. We don't all have to like being in a relationship. It's different strokes for different folks. I don't get why that's so controversial, but it seems like it is.
- [24:06]
Candace Bushnell
Yes, well, I. I think it's because women are pushed into. You know, first of all, there was, for the longest time, there was only one path for women. If you want, you know, if you wanted to have a roof over your head, you pretty much had to get married to some poor schlub. I mean, this is. I mean, this is not news, right? Women couldn't have their own credit cards. You could not get a mortgage until. And it's still very hard if you're a single woman, to get a mortgage.
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Lauren Everts
I don't mean to brag, but I have completely transformed my hair. If you don't believe me, you can go Google Lauren Bostic with blonde hair. And then you can go to my latest Instagram post and see my hair now with no extensions. It is completely changed. I started micro needling my scalp. I started using a Guasha brush on my hair to stimulate the scalp. I obviously barely wash my hair. You guys know this. And I eat a lot of organ meat, which has amino acids in it and I supplement and the supplement that I use. You guys know this is Nutrafol. Nutrafol is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand. It's trusted by over one and a half million people. You can feel great about what you're putting into your body too. Since Nutrafol hair growth supplements are backed by peer reviewed studies and NSF Contents certified. This is the gold standard in third party certifications for supplements. I just take four pills daily with a meal and I've noticed improved hair growth. I've noticed decreased shedding. I've even noticed visible thickness while taking Nutrafol. See thicker, stronger, faster growing hair with less shedding in just three to six months with Nutrafol for a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month subscription and free shipping. When you go to nutrafol.com and enter promo code Skinny Hair Find out why Nutrafol is the best selling hair growth supplement brand@nutrafool.com spelled n u t r a f o l.com promo code skinny hair that's nutrafol.com promo code skinnyhair A G Z okay this is a nightly drink designed to support restful restorative sleep. It's formulated with clinically studied key ingredients like calming adaptogens, herbs and minerals and it's designed to help you wind down in the evening and wake up feeling refreshed. So what I do is I turn.
- [26:36]
All the red light on upstairs before.
- [26:38]
My kids even come up. I put on some five to eight hertz and I make myself a cup of this. And what it does is it supports three stages of rest. So the first stage, the aminos and the adaptogens help you wind down which eases you into sleep. And then you get a restful sleep, which is thanks to the magnesium you guys obviously know that helps optimize sleep quality. And then you wake up refreshed thanks to the antioxidants, which includes saffron, which is really important so you wake up feeling refreshed and not groggy. My favorite part of this though personally is I have to have magnesium before I go to bed and I want it to be highly bioavailable magnesium. And this product, AGZ delivers 250mg of highly bioavailable magnesium. If you're going to take it, make sure it is bioavailable. If you're ready to turn down the stress and focus on the rest, head to drink ag1.com skinny to get a free frother with your first purchase of AGZ, that's drink ag1.com/skinny. Drink ag1.com/skinny. I am a big red light fanatic. I mean I've done like long stories on this. I just love red light and I really like a good red light face mask. There is one by this brand called Bon Charge. If you're unfamiliar, Bon Charge is a holistic wellness brand with a huge range of evidence based products to optimize your life in every single way.
- [28:09]
So they have like blue light glasses.
- [28:10]
Which I love when I'm winding down at night. I'm not a big phone person at night, but I even wear them when I'm reading my Kindle. They also have infrared saunas. Big fan of this too. And of course my ride or die red light therapy. They even have EMF management which is huge if you're looking to not have a ton of EMFs around you. And then they have circadian friendly lighting. So they really have thought of everything when it comes to modern day wellness. But their red light face mask is amazing. It's so good for traveling. If you're looking to help with wrinkles, fine lines, sore jaw, migraines, acne, scar tissue, razor burn even the other day I like shaved my mustache with the Skinny Confidential razor and I had a little bit of razor burn and I used the red light mask and it completely helped it like I can't even tell you what a difference.
- [29:02]
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- [29:20]
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- [31:11]
Candace Bushnell
No. But you know, even in. It wasn't until like 1973 that women could get their own credit cards. So women couldn't get credit. They had a hard time getting an education, all of that. And as it is today, the majority of wealth is owned by men out of the 1%. And I've said this so many times, and people are like, I don't get it. If you're in the 1% financially, which means you're worth basically $13 million out of that 1%, how many, what percentage of that 1% do you think are women who are in that 1% because they made their own money?
- [32:08]
Lauren Everts
I'm gonna say I have no idea. But you're probably gonna say something that shocks me.
- [32:12]
Candace Bushnell
It's three and a half percent. So three and a half percent out of. I don't know how many people are in the 1%? Probably 33 million. Right. In the United States, you're saying 3.
- [32:28]
Michael Bostic
And a half percent made their own money?
- [32:30]
Candace Bushnell
Yeah, they're only 3 and a half percent.
- [32:32]
Michael Bostic
But okay, as a counterargument, then doesn't it prove that there is the ability to go and make that money for both men and women if there is that three and a half percent, that's.
- [32:44]
Candace Bushnell
Really pathetic on your part, I have to say.
- [32:47]
Michael Bostic
I'm just asking if that's. If that it proves that it's possible?
- [32:53]
Candace Bushnell
Yes, it's possible. But is that it should be even more possible. Okay, so it should be.
- [33:01]
Michael Bostic
But how do you propose that, that we do that?
- [33:04]
Candace Bushnell
Well, one of the ways to do that would be for women to get more venture capital money. So a very small amount of venture capital money goes to women. It's probably three and a half percent out of all of the venture capital money. So that's an issue. But what I'm saying is that for 96.5% of the women who are in the 1%, they're in the 1% because they're married to it or they have a father who was rich or maybe a mother who inherited. But in general, what I'm saying is that the money is going to mention as opposed to women. And that's still what makes things, I think, difficult for women.
- [34:05]
Michael Bostic
No, I mean, listen, you're talking to a guy who's built a company doing nothing but supporting women. I just am hesitant to paint a narrative of such doom and gloom around marriage and families and the opportunity to be an entrepreneur and build a business and build your own platform, because I've seen counter experiences and I know plenty of women that I work with regularly that have done incredible jobs and have been very happy in relationships. I ask these things just to give a little pushback to kind of question some of the assumptions around how we're coming to these places. I'm not saying I disagree with everything. I'm just. I think there's another picture to paint.
- [34:42]
Candace Bushnell
Okay. But I'm probably not the one to paint that picture clearly.
- [34:47]
Michael Bostic
Yeah, no, and welcome to have your perspective. But I just, it's like someone coming to me and saying, hey, I want to start a business. And I said, well, you know, the majority of people fail, so just don't try.
- [34:57]
Candace Bushnell
Right.
- [34:58]
Michael Bostic
And I just think, like, I have a more optimistic view.
- [35:03]
Candace Bushnell
Yes.
- [35:04]
Lauren Everts
And.
- [35:05]
Candace Bushnell
Well, I mean, I don't know. I think that, you know, more women should be in that 1% who made their own money.
- [35:18]
Michael Bostic
And I don't disagree with that at all.
- [35:20]
Candace Bushnell
And, you know, I mean, there are a lot of different reasons why, you know, women don't make that money. But I have to say that number, I think is pretty. It's pretty shocking to me.
- [35:34]
Lauren Everts
What I've tried to do in my own experience is if there's a boardroom full of men, I've tried to walk in and not give it any energy. And that's, that's. I try to walk in and I don't think I'm a woman and they're man. I just walk in and I, I want to see it at the boys club. I want to see it. If it's girls I want to seat at the Table. And that's. Yes, that's worked for me. I know that's not everyone's experience, but I find when I give it energy, it doesn't work in my favor. Does that make sense?
- [36:07]
Candace Bushnell
I'm sure that's true. You know, I don't go into a lot of boardrooms, you know, with men or women, so I don't have that experience. But I mean, men are pretty much, you know, it's always. It's usually a man, you know, at the very top who is saying yes or no. I mean, especially in the entertainment business.
- [36:39]
Lauren Everts
Which hopefully needs to change. It should be more women, more men. All of it.
- [36:46]
Candace Bushnell
Yes, yes.
- [36:48]
Michael Bostic
But I think we're moving in that direction where there's more opportunity. And so I just don't want to discourage people from continuing to push on those opportunities. Right.
- [36:57]
Candace Bushnell
No, I think people should always continue to push on those opportunities. I mean, I'm just bringing up, you know, these are the facts and. But would you say, you know, that shouldn't stop anybody, it's trending in the.
- [37:11]
Michael Bostic
Right direction or the wrong direction?
- [37:14]
Candace Bushnell
Well, you know, it's really hard to say, isn't it? Because of, you know, I guess it depends on what kind of media you absorb. You know, if you absorb, you know, there's certain rights for women that are being taken away. And once they start taking some rights away, who knows what other rights they'll take away? I don't know. Who knows?
- [37:41]
Lauren Everts
We're changing the subject to sex. In the cut article, sex after 50, you were really candid. What were you most surprised about with people's reactions?
- [37:53]
Candace Bushnell
I was surprised when people said that they found it depressing.
- [38:01]
Lauren Everts
Why?
- [38:02]
Candace Bushnell
Because I don't think it's depressing. I think it's just a reality.
- [38:07]
Michael Bostic
And what did they find depressing specifically?
- [38:13]
Candace Bushnell
You know, I don't really know. It was just the sort of general, you know, and that really came from women who, you know, women. I mean, the piece was actually dating over 60, but it pretty much came from women who were over 60 who were trying to date or dating. And I don't know. I mean, I thought that, you know, the men who were in the piece were pretty much just regular men. And, you know, there was like one guy who, he wanted to order for me. He insisted on ordering for me. Like, that doesn't seem strange to me. That seems fairly normal for a super successful man who's in his 70s, given like the world that he grew up in. And, you know, a man that age, he's definitely sexist. You know, he grew up in an era where that was how everybody was. That was, you know, those were the attitudes. And, you know, I mean, I do.
- [39:39]
Lauren Everts
Find.
- [39:41]
Candace Bushnell
You know, I do find men are still pretty shockingly sexist in the things that they say.
- [39:51]
Lauren Everts
You know, I would not want a man to order for me. I would not want. If someone ordered for me, I would not like that. I know some people don't mind it. Personally, me, I want to order what I want to order, how I want to order it.
- [40:03]
Candace Bushnell
Yes.
- [40:03]
Michael Bostic
Don't you think there's maybe some issue with painting picture if all men are sexist as the only man on the show right now? That's a good. I mean, you said you don't like to speak in absolutes. That's like a pretty absolute statement that all men are sexist.
- [40:18]
Candace Bushnell
Oh, I. I don't know if I said I don't like to speak in absolutes. I absolutely do speak in absolutes.
- [40:25]
Michael Bostic
Well, apparently.
- [40:26]
Candace Bushnell
And. And I just feel like I have to speak up for the. For the gender, knowing that, of course, you know, there are exceptions, but me, you know, I would say in general, people tend to fall back onto gender roles.
- [40:47]
Michael Bostic
Yeah. I mean, listen, like, obviously, like, stereotypes become stereotypes for reasons. Right. But I just, I think it. I don't know, I just try to think about. And maybe it's realistic, maybe it's not the world. A little bit more optimistically, like, I think there are good men, and I think there's a lot of bad men. I think there's good women. I think there's a lot, like, I just think there's good and bad people. But I have a trouble saying that all people are like this or that. But again, yes, that's just my perspective.
- [41:18]
Candace Bushnell
I mean, you know, there is that sort of saying, okay, it's not all men, but, you know, the reality is it's enough men. Maybe it's not all men, but it's enough men.
- [41:34]
Michael Bostic
But then what about the. Okay, just on this trend, what about the good ones? Like, what happens to them? They just get a bad rap, then, I guess.
- [41:44]
Candace Bushnell
Who's a good man?
- [41:45]
Michael Bostic
I think there's a lot of good men. I think I'm a good man.
- [41:47]
Candace Bushnell
Okay, you're a good man.
- [41:48]
Michael Bostic
I think I am.
- [41:49]
Candace Bushnell
All right. I don't know you.
- [41:52]
Michael Bostic
Yeah.
- [41:52]
Candace Bushnell
So I think, I mean, your wife knows you.
- [41:55]
Michael Bostic
I think there's a lot of good men. I think there's a lot of bad men, but I think there's the same thing. I just, I think that I have a Difficult time rationalizing that we. You know, because, again, these are prejudice and these are things that people get painted with that then people make decisions on in their life. And I. And I think if you go through life like that, it can be challenging. Like, I start with everybody with the intention of this person's a good person until they prove me wrong.
- [42:23]
Lauren Everts
Mm.
- [42:23]
Candace Bushnell
Yeah, Well, I mean, I do too.
- [42:27]
Michael Bostic
Well, it sounds like if you sat down with me, I'm just a sexist, prejudiced guy.
- [42:33]
Candace Bushnell
You know what? I have to say, I think you're taking it really personally.
- [42:37]
Michael Bostic
I'm not. I'm really not.
- [42:38]
Candace Bushnell
I'm just following you because I actually wasn't talking about you. I thought we were. You know, you guys were asking general questions and I was answering them.
- [42:48]
Michael Bostic
I'm not personally.
- [42:48]
Candace Bushnell
You seem to be insulted.
- [42:50]
Michael Bostic
I'm not insulted for me personally, but I'm saying.
- [42:53]
Candace Bushnell
Sorry about that. I don't mean to insult you. I'm sure you're a very nice man and you're very handsome. So there you go.
- [43:02]
Michael Bostic
Why don't you just.
- [43:03]
Lauren Everts
Everything's clear.
- [43:03]
Michael Bostic
Why don't you just start with that?
- [43:05]
Lauren Everts
I actually have a question. I should have started with that trending on TikTok. This is a huge debate. I have my own opinion. I'm sure you have yours. What do you think about people splitting the check, a man and a woman on the first date? Are you for that or against that?
- [43:20]
Candace Bushnell
You know, that is a huge debate on TikTok. And, you know, there is. There's definitely an element of. And this is something that the Internet and online dating has done where people. I feel like if you're looking for, like, kind of a, you know, normal heterosexual relationship, you want to fall in love, you want the person to be faithful, you want to get married. That's hard to find. Whereas any variation is pretty easy to find. So, you know, there are women looking for sugar daddies. Like, that's a whole kind of trend of, you know, women who are looking for men to pay for them. And, you know, the other side of that is, you know, men who are looking for superficial relationships. And, you know, here are these women who will fill in the gap. So, you know, women are looking for men to pay for them. You know, they're looking for. There's this whole thing about the provider. I personally am. You know, it's like, I'd rather make the money, and I don't mind paying.
- [45:04]
Lauren Everts
I wanna make the money, and I don't wanna split the check. I mean, I don't wanna split the check ever.
- [45:09]
Michael Bostic
Like, you make the money.
- [45:10]
Lauren Everts
But also, I wanna make my own money and have my billions of dollars over here. But you're still paying for me. You can take me to McDonald's, that's fine, but I wanna be paid for.
- [45:20]
Candace Bushnell
See, I don't care.
- [45:21]
Lauren Everts
You don't care?
- [45:21]
Candace Bushnell
I mean, I have paid for. I've paid the check.
- [45:24]
Michael Bostic
Okay, but.
- [45:24]
Candace Bushnell
Okay, let's check many times. And you know what I mean? I liked it. Do you like it? So, I guess. But you know what? I am not, you know, I don't feel like I am like most women do.
- [45:40]
Michael Bostic
Women get the ick if the guy does not offer to pay. Do you know the ick when, like, you get turned off by somebody? Like, if you sit down and say, ah. Like, if I say, get your credit card out, or if I say, hey, you take their car, like, is that an ick?
- [45:50]
Candace Bushnell
And you're like, you know, supposedly they do, but, you know, I think whoever pays is the person who's in charge. And, you know, I've always said, you're gonna pay one way or another. I prefer to pay with my own money. Okay, so that's. My.
- [46:08]
Lauren Everts
TikTok will love that.
- [46:10]
Michael Bostic
Like, I just said, so for you, if you went on a date and he didn't offer, you'd be fine.
- [46:13]
Lauren Everts
No, she's saying you're gonna pay one way or another. Like, maybe, like, you're paying and then you have to.
- [46:18]
Michael Bostic
No, because I think a lot of men wonder now, like, do I pay the bill? Is it. You know, is that being a gentleman? Is that being offensive? Like, do I ask? I think, like, it's a question out there, especially with TikTok. People, like, young people don't.
- [46:28]
Lauren Everts
Michael, if you're wondering for yourself, you always pay the bill.
- [46:30]
Michael Bostic
Yeah, I know. I. That's been very clear.
- [46:32]
Candace Bushnell
Exactly.
- [46:33]
Michael Bostic
But I think it's, you know, you hear a lot of these, like, these debates online now, and it's like. I think people are very confused on, like, what the proper protocol is these days.
- [46:43]
Candace Bushnell
Yes. And, you know, it's like, does the person have a lot of money? Like, maybe I'm being sexist if I.
- [46:55]
Michael Bostic
Offer to pay, so I should probably stop.
- [46:58]
Lauren Everts
It's a hard one. Listen.
- [47:00]
Candace Bushnell
It's a hard one. I think the person who has more money should pay.
- [47:05]
Michael Bostic
Yes.
- [47:05]
Candace Bushnell
You know, I mean, I was married. I was married to a ballet dancer. He didn't have a ton of money. I made much more money than he did. And, you know, I paid all the time, and I didn't even think about.
- [47:19]
Michael Bostic
Was a non issue.
- [47:21]
Candace Bushnell
But, you know, I'm that kind of person, so, you know, it doesn't bother me. And in fact, I think that it would be helpful for women if they paid for men more often. That's. But you see a woman, a woman who's like older being with a younger guy and paying for him is not acceptable in our culture. Whereas the reality is that all of these women who, they can't find that guy who is a couple years older and is willing to pay for everything. I mean, this would be something that, you know, why can't women, you know, behave the same way that men behave? Like, you know, a man is with a younger woman, he's paying for her, he pays for everything. That's one of the reasons why she's with him. Don't tell the man that. He'll never believe it. He's always going to say it's because she loves me so much. You know, I don't think there's anything wrong with it. TikTok people like it and I like it. And I really think that it should be acceptable for, you know, it should be acceptable for a woman my age to be with a guy who's 35.
- [48:49]
Michael Bostic
All right, now we're talking.
- [48:50]
Candace Bushnell
And you know, if I had more money, I'd be happy to pay for him. I don't care.
- [48:55]
Michael Bostic
Because you're saying you've had more time to accumulate.
- [48:57]
Lauren Everts
Yeah, I think it just takes people like you owning that. If you want to be with someone younger, be with someone younger. Who cares.
- [49:04]
Michael Bostic
The fact is, is that again, what I'm saying is we've inherited a lot of gender dynamics from previous generations. And I think people are very confused now how to behave in many situations because this is a perfect example, like, do you pay? Do you not pay? Is it offensive? Is it not offensive? What's appropriate? What's not appropriate? You know, older, younger.
- [49:20]
Lauren Everts
I think it's situational and everybody's different.
- [49:24]
Candace Bushnell
Yes. I mean, I think people have to get out of their heads about like this, these, this gender stuff. But, you know, we also live in a time where, you know, there's like a large percentage of women who are on onlyfans. You know, I mean, they're basically, they're selling some form of sex. They may not be having sex. Maybe they're just texting the guy showing a title. But, you know, it's kind of. I mean, I feel like that too is inherently a problem. You know, this idea that, you know, men just want sex and, you know, A lot of men will tell you that, that they really just, you know, they just want sex. Like, hey, listen, I wish I could be that way. You know, like, hey, I just want sex from you while you're hot.
- [50:26]
Lauren Everts
What does it take to date you at this point? What are your. What are your sort of like boxes when you date someone?
- [50:33]
Candace Bushnell
You know, I am. I've lived in New York for a long time. I know a lot of people. I like to go out. I like to be social. I really just want somebody who's like, in my world.
- [50:48]
Lauren Everts
And what does that mean?
- [50:50]
Candace Bushnell
What does it mean? It means, you know, somebody who. They like to go out, they like to go to dinner, they like to partake in this kind of great New York society that we live in in the city where there's so many interesting people to meet. Like, I go out every, you know, every night I go out in New York. I. I'm gonna meet somebody who's really interesting. Like everybody. I mean, maybe not everybody. Maybe there are a couple of exceptions.
- [51:23]
Michael Bostic
I feel like now, though, now you and I are getting to a good place. We've gotten through our debate and now we're gonna. We probably listen. I'm taken right now, but, you know.
- [51:30]
Lauren Everts
He has a lot of friends.
- [51:30]
Michael Bostic
That would've been fun. I'm a little, you know.
- [51:32]
Lauren Everts
He has a lot of hot friends.
- [51:33]
Candace Bushnell
Yes, but how old are you? Probably 35.
- [51:36]
Michael Bostic
Oh, see, now I like you even more. All right.
- [51:40]
Lauren Everts
No, it hurt. You have some 45 year olds, Lauren.
- [51:44]
Michael Bostic
Go out of the room for me.
- [51:45]
Candace Bushnell
Yeah, but you know what? There's no, you know, it's not in the lexicon of guys who are like 40 to. To think, like, oh, I want to be with a woman who's over 65.
- [51:57]
Lauren Everts
You'd be surprised.
- [51:58]
Candace Bushnell
They don't.
- [51:59]
Michael Bostic
Yeah, but no, that's. I don't think that's starting to become more, you'd be surprised, more common.
- [52:04]
Lauren Everts
A lot of my guy friends, I actually, I have a story recently. A lot of my guy friends who are very attractive, single 40 year olds who have their own shit together, they don't have kids, they're like, single, I said. And they actually enjoy women who are older than them way more.
- [52:22]
Michael Bostic
Well, I also know some of my guy friends that are more mature and have maybe children from previous relationships, and they're not looking to start all over again with. Right. They're looking to, you know, they've kind of got that part of their life complete in their eyes, and so they're, you know, starting over with Someone who wants all that again, is sometimes challenging.
- [52:42]
Candace Bushnell
Yes.
- [52:42]
Michael Bostic
Right.
- [52:42]
Candace Bushnell
This is, I mean, I mean, my feeling is like, I have these two old standard poodles who I have to take care of them. You know, there's like a lot of people, they're like, I don't want to take care of somebody. I'm like, what's wrong with that? What is wrong with, you know, taking care of somebody a little bit?
- [53:01]
Lauren Everts
I'm gonna throw them in the environment.
- [53:04]
Candace Bushnell
I don't have a problem with that. You know, I don't have a problem. If somebody was like, oh, what about this guy? Well, he does wear a toupee. I was like, I don't care if the guy wears a toupee. You know, we all have hair problems. All real when we get older. You know, I. It doesn't bother me.
- [53:24]
Lauren Everts
Can I ask you a random question? This is just for selfishly. Where are the spots that you hit in New York City? Like, where are your go to spots when you go out?
- [53:34]
Candace Bushnell
Well, I'm like super lazy. My favorite place to go is probably a restaurant that's in my building called Caravaggio. Okay, what is it, like Italian food? It's like, you know, I'll go pretty much anywhere because I go to a lot of like, events and parties and they're always in different locations.
- [53:58]
Lauren Everts
So there's not like a spot.
- [53:59]
Candace Bushnell
So. No, there isn't a spot. I mean, I am a member of Casatua, which is Club on 76. And because it's, it's really close to my house, so I feel like I can walk there.
- [54:13]
Lauren Everts
But careful, you're gonna get a line of 30 year old guys outside your.
- [54:16]
Michael Bostic
House waiting to hang out with you basically geotagged yourself.
- [54:22]
Candace Bushnell
I probably shouldn't have done that.
- [54:23]
Lauren Everts
Why do a one woman show? Why did you decide to do it? How did you conceptualize it?
- [54:28]
Candace Bushnell
Well, this was one of those situations where somebody said it was actually a producer who works with David Foster. I don't know if you know who David Foster is, not personally, but I know who. He does a one man show. Okay. And I met this guy and he said, who worked with David Foster? And he said, I think you could do a one woman show. I'd never done it. I've never been on stage. And I was like, it was a pandemic. So I thought, all right, I'll give it a try. So I wrote something, he showed it to some people, they loved it. And he ended up getting a Broadway director. And then we went to the Bucks County Playhouse where we set it up and so I was writing and rehearsing at the same time and you know, it was a stage, it was a set and then I did performances and they just kind of threw me out there and I did it. And the strange thing is I don't feel at all uncomfortable being on stage. Huh. And the show lasts for an hour and a half.
- [55:52]
Michael Bostic
You never felt uncomfortable?
- [55:53]
Lauren Everts
Just an hour and a half.
- [55:55]
Candace Bushnell
It's an hour and a half. Just me talking. But it's choreographed and it's the same every night because it has to be. It's not ad libbed.
- [56:08]
Michael Bostic
Quick break to talk about why now. One of the things that stressed me out the most in my life before I knew more about money was my financial well being. Many people say that financial stress is the number one stressor in their life. This is why I love platforms like ynab. We've had the founder of Ynab on this podcast talking all about how you can save more money and most importantly, put your money to work for you. You put so much time and effort into earning money, you deserve to spend it without stress. Or second guessing Ynab spelled Y N A B is a life changing app that helps you do what you want with the money you have. You'll create a flexible plan for your money through the simple practice of giving every dol a job, keeping you focused on the life you want. So whether that's covering your mortgage or your rent, funding your 401k without sacrificing dinners with friends or taking that long away to trip abroad, YNAB has you covered. 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- [60:45]
Lauren Everts
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- [61:48]
And you're not nervous for the whole hour and a half?
- [61:51]
Candace Bushnell
No.
- [61:52]
Lauren Everts
Wow.
- [61:52]
Candace Bushnell
I'm not. Like, sometimes I worry about like.
- [61:58]
Lauren Everts
You.
- [61:58]
Candace Bushnell
Know, it can be a little bit tough because like if you're sick and you have a cold or you have sore throat, it's like you're still going on and what, you know, the stage director will be like, oh, I put some tissues there for you in case you needed to use them. It's like, oh, that's great. And I like doing it because. Well, first of all it gets a great response and it seems to get a universally great response. Like people come up afterward. I get standing ovations and people. Which apparently doesn't mean anything these days.
- [62:34]
Michael Bostic
But they over abused the stand, I think.
- [62:38]
Candace Bushnell
No, that's the stand for. That's what I've heard.
- [62:39]
Michael Bostic
They stand for pretty much anything these days.
- [62:41]
Candace Bushnell
Yes, yes, this is what I've heard. So you say something and now it's.
- [62:45]
Michael Bostic
A little bit standing a little too much.
- [62:47]
Lauren Everts
I think it's pretty incredible that you get standing ovations for an hour and a half. One woman show.
- [62:52]
Candace Bushnell
Well, I think sometimes I think people are just like, wow, I can't believe somebody memorized all that. And people do say like, oh, how could you memorize all that? But it's really like when you listen to a song and you know the words, it's like a different part of your brain that does it. But it seems to get a universal, really good response, which is great because, you know, when you write a book, it's like, some people love it, some people don't.
- [63:25]
Lauren Everts
I want to come see it next time. Is it going to be out like next time I'm here in like a couple months in New York city.
- [63:32]
Candace Bushnell
It'll be December 5th.
- [63:34]
Lauren Everts
December 5th.
- [63:34]
Candace Bushnell
Adler Theater. I don't know anything about the Adler Theater, but I want to come see it. Yes, you should. I would love to put you on the.
- [63:42]
Lauren Everts
I would love to. I would love to come support. How does everyone get tickets? Find you, say hello.
- [63:49]
Candace Bushnell
I have a website, candicebochenal.com that usually has links to the tickets.
- [63:55]
Michael Bostic
Well, I had mostly Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda questions, but we went down a different route because you. We switched gears.
- [64:01]
Lauren Everts
That's what I.
- [64:01]
Candace Bushnell
Well, you can ask Samantha, Miranda and Charlotte and Carrie questions.
- [64:07]
Michael Bostic
Okay. You and I will get together socially. We will. Now that we're.
- [64:10]
Lauren Everts
She's like, get away from me.
- [64:11]
Michael Bostic
Now that we're best friends. And then I'LL get all the questions that I need.
- [64:14]
Lauren Everts
I don't know that you're invited to the show. I think.
- [64:16]
Michael Bostic
I feel like we're at a good place now.
- [64:17]
Candace Bushnell
He is invited to the show where she's invited to show.
- [64:20]
Lauren Everts
Bring your friends.
- [64:20]
Michael Bostic
Listen, I love a big personality. You're a good sport.
- [64:24]
Candace Bushnell
But the only. The only thing about the show is I've noticed, like, when women come with their girlfriends, they laugh a lot more if they come with their husbands, especially if the husband. Especially if they're over.
- [64:42]
Lauren Everts
Banish them.
- [64:43]
Candace Bushnell
You know, they're like. They're a little uncomfortable because.
- [64:50]
Michael Bostic
It'S those, you know, they.
- [64:52]
Candace Bushnell
They worry that, you know, they worry about their men.
- [64:55]
Michael Bostic
It's all these terrible men.
- [64:56]
Lauren Everts
I won't worry. Well, we'll go together, and I won't worry about him. He's on his own. You know what?
- [65:00]
Candace Bushnell
They're not terrible. They're just men.
- [65:02]
Michael Bostic
Now. I'm gonna. If I go, I'm gonna feel really obligated to laugh really hard the whole time.
- [65:06]
Candace Bushnell
Yeah, okay.
- [65:08]
Michael Bostic
I'll be the loudest laugher in there. I was like, I gotta prove this girl wrong. I gotta show that I'm. That I'm a good guy.
- [65:13]
Lauren Everts
You know, we have rapid fire.
- [65:14]
Candace Bushnell
I don't think you have to worry about that. No, I'm. I know that you're a good guy because you're doing this.
- [65:20]
Michael Bostic
Won you over.
- [65:21]
Candace Bushnell
You don't need to worry.
- [65:22]
Michael Bostic
It took an hour, but we got there. All right.
- [65:25]
Lauren Everts
He's persistent. He went after me for 15 years until I said yes on a date with him. So he's persistent.
- [65:31]
Michael Bostic
And you know what? I've always been telling her that she should be paying for everything and taking care of me this whole time. I think that it's kind of sexist that she doesn't do that for me. I thought, like, you know, down with the patriarchy and have her take care.
- [65:41]
Candace Bushnell
Of me, who makes more money. Also, she's got an amazing ring.
- [65:45]
Michael Bostic
Yeah. I told her, I said, go buy if you want. Whatever you want, you got to get it yourself.
- [65:50]
Candace Bushnell
You know, I listen. I know women who have bought their own engagement ring.
- [65:54]
Lauren Everts
I hold my own.
- [65:55]
Michael Bostic
She does hold.
- [65:56]
Lauren Everts
I do hold my own.
- [65:57]
Michael Bostic
You know what? We've been together so long, but I.
- [65:59]
Lauren Everts
Want to hold my own and his. Do you know what I mean?
- [66:01]
Candace Bushnell
That's. It's fantastic. I mean, there is, you know, there's nothing better than a great partnership. It's just that it seems to be difficult for a lot of people to change.
- [66:14]
Lauren Everts
I don't project. I've been. I've been married for a long time. I've known my husband. But I do not project marriage onto everyone. Everyone's got to do what works for them. Some people want to date, some people want to be single. I have to tell you, if you and I broke up, I'd probably be single for a long time. So I don't project any. Any of my situation on here.
- [66:30]
Michael Bostic
I'll be calling Candace, so.
- [66:31]
Candace Bushnell
Well, you know, I mean, I do feel like with Mar. People need to be, you know, they need to be like, emotionally and like, psychologically together. Sympathetic. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. It's not easy, you know, you need to be like a fully well rounded person, I think, to make it work. And, you know, not everybody is for a variety of reasons. Yeah, you know, I mean, some people had terrible childhoods and, you know, they're never gonna be able to kind of not put their ego first in a relationship. I mean, I think relationships are. You know, when I was married, it seemed like it was really about giving to the other person as opposed to taking.
- [67:29]
Michael Bostic
It's this guy's fault.
- [67:31]
Candace Bushnell
No, it wasn't his fault. You know, I love being married. I thought he was like a really good husband. He got a little, you know, distracted. A young woman went after him, and I don't blame him.
- [67:44]
Michael Bostic
All right, and we've covered a lot of ground here.
- [67:46]
Lauren Everts
You guys can be jerks, though. All right, the rapid fire questions. Samantha, Charlotte, Miranda Carey, who are you most like today?
- [67:58]
Candace Bushnell
That's a really good question because are we talking about the characters now? And just like that. Cause they've evolved so much from do.
- [68:11]
Lauren Everts
Sex and the City and then do just like that.
- [68:13]
Candace Bushnell
Okay, so Sex and the City, Carrie Bradshaw was my alter ego. I came up with. And this is one of the things I talk about my one woman shows. I, you know, I was in a panic because my parents. I went to a sex club. That was the first column. And my parents called up and said, oh, we've gotten a subscription to the New York Observer. My parents were very conservative. So I was like, what am I gonna do? And I was sitting at my desk, I'll never forget it. And I was looking out at a brick wall. Cause that was my view from that window. And the name just came to me, Carrie Bradshaw. It was like, I am Carrie Bradshaw. And so that was how that happened. And I feel like the first two seasons of Sex and the City were. I mean, in the pilot of Sex and the city, 90% of the lines in the pilot come from the book. So Carrie's voiceover is. Is my voice wild? So. And that really set the tone for the whole series. But, you know, I didn't marry my Mr. Big. And I always say to women, you know, in the stage show, and this has happened in real life, you know, I had an epiphany. I don't want to be with Mr. Big. I want to be Mr. Big.
- [69:38]
Lauren Everts
I get that.
- [69:39]
Candace Bushnell
So I get that. You know, I want to be the one walking into the restaurant with a goal, you know, with the black American Express card.
- [69:47]
Michael Bostic
Don't do that. Then they will nail you, wanting you to tip even more. They just. They look at that and they say this. You gotta Write even, like 40%, or else you're a cheapskate.
- [69:56]
Candace Bushnell
But, you know, I didn't. I didn't marry my Mr. Big. So, you know where Carrie is now. Like, she married Mr. Big, and. And then he died. And, you know, she's a rich widow in the city. Like, that is. That's not my life.
- [70:15]
Lauren Everts
So what about in that? And just like that. Who are you most like in that?
- [70:22]
Candace Bushnell
You know, I don't feel like I'm like any of those characters. I mean, I'm, you know, I'm not like Charlotte, not like Miranda. And, you know, that, you know, that's not. You know, maybe if Samantha was in that show.
- [70:42]
Lauren Everts
Rapid Fire. Question number two. Out of all four of the actresses, which one are you the closest with?
- [70:53]
Candace Bushnell
Well, you know, I like them all. I think they're all great. You know, I'm not really. I'm not really close to any of them. I mean, I was probably would see Kim Cattrall a little bit more because she was really good friends with Darren Starr. And I was really good friends with Darren Starr. And I love Cynthia Nixon. You know, I mean, really, I only run into them at kind of at parties.
- [71:24]
Lauren Everts
So we get a little behind the.
- [71:26]
Candace Bushnell
Scenes, you know, Sarah Jessica Parker, she's great. But, you know, I don't like. I don't hang out with her. You know, she has her own. She's got kids. I have to say, her kids are super, super nice. Like, her son is so nice. Everybody loves him. And I just have a ton of respect for her. Cause she works really hard. And she's also. I think it's a really good mother.
- [71:51]
Lauren Everts
Best book you've read recently.
- [71:53]
Candace Bushnell
Last question, maybe how to Lose youe Mother by Molly Zhang Fast. It's about her mother, unfortunately, having Alzheimer's. And it's so honest. And, you know, she talks about fame and kind of the price of fame and it's really good.
- [72:17]
Lauren Everts
I just finished that. That's so funny that that's your favorite book. And it is funny because you can tell she loves her mother, but it's also complicated.
- [72:25]
Candace Bushnell
Yes, it's complicated. And I love that she doesn't shy away from the complications of it.
- [72:32]
Lauren Everts
Yeah, it's a very good book. Everyone should go read it and they should read your books. Where can everyone find your Instagram?
- [72:41]
Candace Bushnell
Candace Bushnell, Instagram.
- [72:42]
Lauren Everts
Thanks for the conversation. Our show tends to go up, down all around.
- [72:46]
Michael Bostic
Our hotel's right by Casatua.
- [72:48]
Candace Bushnell
All right, which hotel are you in?
- [72:52]
Michael Bostic
We're at the Mark. Maybe take that. Actually, no, we'll be gone by the time this goes out. We're up at the Mark.
- [72:57]
Candace Bushnell
That's nice. Fancy.
- [72:59]
Michael Bostic
Well, hopefully she's paying. Thank you, Candice.