How To Stop Playing Small And Start Designing The Life Of Your Dreams Ft. Les Alfred Of The Balanced Black Girl Podcast)

Summary

The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast: How To Stop Playing Small And Start Designing The Life Of Your Dreams Featuring Les Alfred of The Balanced Black Girl Podcast Release Date: November 27, 2024

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Introduction

In this empowering episode of The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast, hosts Lauryn Bosstick and Michael Bostick sit down with Les Alfred, the dynamic force behind The Balanced Black Girl Podcast. Les shares her transformative journey from a corporate environment to becoming a renowned wellness influencer and podcaster, offering invaluable insights into designing a life filled with purpose, confidence, and well-being.

Les Alfred's Journey into Wellness and Entrepreneurship

Les Alfred opens up about her initial foray into the wellness space, driven by a need to combat daily exhaustion and dissatisfaction in her first corporate internship. She describes how simple lifestyle changes—regular exercise, improved diet, and increased water intake—had a profound impact on her energy levels and overall happiness.

Les Alfred [04:16]: "Maybe if I go to the gym, I'll have a little bit of energy to stay awake throughout the day...I felt stronger, I felt more confident, and it was just like a snowball effect."

Transitioning into a personal trainer and wellness coach, Les leveraged her experiences to help others, eventually launching her own podcast. Her commitment to sharing authentic wellness content has made her a respected voice in the industry.

The Role of Fitness in Building Confidence

A significant portion of the conversation delves into the relationship between physical fitness and mental well-being. Les emphasizes how lifting weights not only transforms the body but also rewires the brain to foster self-belief and resilience.

Les Alfred [06:08]: "It teaches you how to believe in yourself... what else can I do?"

Lauryn echoes this sentiment, sharing her personal experience of overcoming anxiety and depression through regular workouts, highlighting the universal benefits of physical activity.

Lauryn Bosstick [06:55]: "Just get in the gym and do hard things, and so many things in your life will improve 100%."

Embracing Discomfort for Growth

Both hosts and Les agree on the importance of seeking discomfort to foster personal growth. They discuss how intentionally pushing boundaries—whether through intense workouts, new challenges, or stepping outside comfort zones—prepares individuals to handle life's uncertainties with greater ease.

Les Alfred [07:13]: "It increases your tolerance for discomfort... forcing yourself to do hard things at the beginning sets you up to be able to do that all day."

Navigating Life Changes: From 20s to 30s

Les contrasts her experiences in her 20s with her current mindset in her 30s. While her younger self was risk-averse, prioritizing stability over happiness, her mature perspective embraces uncertainty and the willingness to step into the unknown.

Les Alfred [11:22]: "In my 30s, probably the biggest change I've made is being willing to step into things that are unknown."

Lauryn adds that responsibilities often increase with age, making risk-taking more daunting, but she urges younger listeners to seize their youth's lower stakes to embrace opportunities.

Lauryn Bosstick [12:43]: "The more risky things you can do, the younger the better because you're going to be like, I am now more risk averse as I've gotten older."

Wellness Routines: Morning and Night

Les shares her meticulously crafted daily routines, emphasizing the importance of morning habits in setting a positive tone for the day. Her routines include workout attire readiness, skincare, reading, meditation, and best-case scenario journaling to foster a proactive and positive mindset.

Les Alfred [15:20]: "I like to think of exercise as like a daily deposit in becoming the person that I want to be."

Her nighttime routine mirrors her morning practices, incorporating tidying, relaxation techniques like using an acupressure mat, and dedicated reading time to ensure restful sleep and mental clarity.

Investing in Yourself: Time, Money, and Energy

The conversation shifts to the significance of investing in oneself to unlock potential. Les recounts her phased approach to personal and professional investments, from paying off student loans to dedicating resources towards personal development and self-care.

Les Alfred [30:25]: "It's about becoming the version of myself that I feel like I've always been."

Lauryn highlights the sacrifices involved in this journey, such as reduced social time and balancing multiple jobs, underscoring that success is seldom instant and often requires enduring initial hardships.

Lauryn Bosstick [46:01]: "Even when we started this show, we were both working completely different companies and jobs and commuting... doing this show for free."

Balancing Work and Entrepreneurship

Balancing a full-time job while nurturing a budding business is a recurring theme. Les details her disciplined approach, carving out early morning hours and dedicating specific days to podcasting, social media, and admin tasks to maintain productivity without burnout.

Les Alfred [37:40]: "I have different days of the week where I focus on different things... Mondays are podcast days... Fridays are admin and personal time."

The Importance of Authenticity in Content Creation

Authenticity emerges as a cornerstone of Les's and the hosts' approach to content creation. They discuss the pitfalls of trying to appear universally relatable versus embracing one's unique journey and personality, advocating for genuine expression over curated personas.

Lauryn Bosstick [48:35]: "The only responsibility that I feel as somebody who does this kind of thing publicly is to authentically tell my truth."

Les adds that striving for authenticity fosters deeper connections with the audience, rather than adopting a facade to gain wider appeal.

Common Questions and Rapid-Fire Segment

In a rapid-fire segment, Les addresses frequently asked questions from her audience, offering practical skincare tips, her favorite products, and insights into maintaining hair health while working out. She also shares her organizational strategies, emphasizing detailed planning and calendar management.

Les Alfred [37:23]: "My morning looks like... I will spend a bit of time reading... meditating... journaling."

Conclusion

The episode wraps up with Les reflecting on her decade-long transformation and urging listeners to take actionable steps towards designing their dream lives. Lauryn and Michael reinforce the episode's key messages: embrace wellness, seek growth through discomfort, invest in yourself, and maintain authenticity in all endeavors.

Lauryn Bosstick [39:13]: "Things that you need to do if you want to do that and recognize that it's not easy."

Listeners are left inspired by Les Alfred's journey and equipped with practical strategies to stop playing small and start crafting a life of their dreams.

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Notable Quotes

• Les Alfred [04:16]: "Maybe if I go to the gym, I'll have a little bit of energy to stay awake throughout the day...I felt stronger, I felt more confident, and it was just like a snowball effect."
• Les Alfred [06:08]: "It teaches you how to believe in yourself... what else can I do?"
• Les Alfred [07:13]: "It increases your tolerance for discomfort... forcing yourself to do hard things at the beginning sets you up to be able to do that all day."
• Lauryn Bosstick [12:43]: "The more risky things you can do, the younger the better because you're going to be like, I am now more risk averse as I've gotten older."
• Les Alfred [30:25]: "It's about becoming the version of myself that I feel like I've always been."
• Lauryn Bosstick [39:13]: "Things that you need to do if you want to do that and recognize that it's not easy."

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This episode serves as a beacon for listeners aspiring to break free from limitations and design a fulfilling, authentic life. Les Alfred's candid dialogue provides not only inspiration but also a roadmap for personal and professional growth.

Transcript

[Lauren Everts]

The following podcast is a Dear Media.

[Michael Bostick]

Production alert the press. 30% off everything. Everything on shop skinny confidential.com right now it is our Black Friday Cyber Monday sale. We don't do sales a lot, but when we do, we blow it out of the water. Okay. This sale goes through December 2nd. The sale ends at 11:59pm CST on the 2nd. Go shop at everything and anything you need. For your Christmas gifts. I would recommend that you get the ice roller, the mint roller. I also would recommend that you get the facial massager. If you don't have it. I use it every morning for fascia facial manipulation. These all make beautiful, gorgeous gifts and I feel like it's just a good time for you to stock up. 30% off everything. Kits and newness. Go shop for everyone. The subscriptions for the first month will be discounted 30% off. And then after the first month they go back to 15% off. Now's the time. Shopskinnyconfidential.com for our Black Friday Cyber Monday sale.

[Lauren Everts]

She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire.

[Les Alfred]

Fantastic.

[Lauren Everts]

And he's a serial entrepreneur, a very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostick are bringing you along for the ride.

[Michael Bostick]

Get ready for some major realness.

[Lauren Everts]

Welcome to the Skin Ginny Confidential. Him and her.

[Les Alfred]

I think it's important to follow how you feel. Like I was exhausted every day and I wasn't. Like I couldn't do that and do my job. So I was going in search of energy to feel better. So understanding where are you at right now and what's actually going to make you feel better? Is it are you looking for energy like I was? Do you want to feel more confident in your body? Do you want to feel stronger? Do you have something going on with your health? Like what is that? Why for you and for follow that.

[Michael Bostick]

This show is really special because the person being featured actually has a picture of an event that she attended that me and Michael were speakers at like six years ago and she took a picture in the audience. She said that she was hearing a speak about entrepreneurship and now here she is six years later on the show and we're featuring all her tips and tricks. I love the evolution. I love the entrepreneurship story in this. She is an award winning podcast host. She also happens to be in the Dear Media family. She's a speaker and a content creator. For nearly a decade, Les has created inspiring, approachable wellness content leveraging her expertise as a personal trainer, nutrition coach and certified yoga instructor. She is the host of Balance Black Girl, a Chart topping weekly podcast. The girls in the office and I were really excited to see this email thread of us planning to get Les on the show. With that, I hope you're all having an amazing Thanksgiving, eating lots of turkey and cranberry sauce and cornbread. Let's welcome Les Alfred to the show.

[Lauren Everts]

This is the Skinny Confidential, him and her.

[Guest]

Les, we have you on the podcast. We've been wanting to do this for a long time.

[Michael Bostick]

You're also on Dear Media, thank you.

[Lauren Everts]

For making the trip.

[Guest]

Thank you for making the trip. Give our audience a little background on you if they're unfamiliar.

[Les Alfred]

Oh, my goodness, yes. Well, thank you so much for having me. I have to say, I've been listening to the him and her show, I think since y'all started it.

[Lauren Everts]

Oh, wow.

[Les Alfred]

Oh, this has been exciting.

[Michael Bostick]

So you've seen all different ways in.

[Les Alfred]

The revolution, but, you know, now I.

[Lauren Everts]

Would prefer you told me that at the end because now I'm going to be in my head the whole time, be like, oh, what do I, you know?

[Les Alfred]

Oh, gosh.

[Lauren Everts]

It always messes me up a little bit when someone tells me they've heard what things?

[Les Alfred]

I've said some weird things on the show about. I mean, I don't even remember half of what I say on my show, so it's okay.

[Michael Bostick]

Tell us your journey.

[Les Alfred]

What's.

[Guest]

How did you get here to what you're doing now?

[Les Alfred]

Yes. So right now I am a podcaster. I host a podcast called Balance Black Girl, which I do every week. But it has been a culmination of a super long wellness and kind of professional journey that I've had over the years. So I feel like I've spent most of my adult life as a certified, like, wellness girly gym girly. So I got interested in wellness when I was in college, which I feel so lucky that that was when I became interested in all of this. And it's just taken my career on such a windy path.

[Guest]

Why did you get interested in wellness to begin with?

[Les Alfred]

So I was in my first corporate internship the summer between my junior and senior year of college, and I hated it. I was sitting at my desk every day, truly falling asleep, and I was like, okay, if this is gonna be my career, I need to figure out some sort of way to generate energy. And at that time, I'd never worked out, never eaten healthy. So I was like, okay, maybe if I go to the gym, I'll have a little bit of energy to stay awake throughout the day, or maybe if I drink water as opposed to, like, Just champagne, which, when I was like, 20, was all I drank. Maybe I'll feel a little bit better. And lo and behold, I did. It was a pretty easy fix. And so I noticed that as I started doing these things, I felt stronger, I felt more confident, and it was just like a snowball effect.

[Guest]

And what were the things that you were doing?

[Les Alfred]

First things. I started working out regularly, and at the time, I had no idea how to work out. So I was just taking workout classes at the gym, just doing anything I could, eating better, and I still wasn't eating that great. I mean, this was maybe like 2010. So I was eating, like, I don't know, Lean Cuisines and, like, random stuff like that. But it was better than, like, the full college pizza diet that I'd had. I was walking every day, and I just started noticing these small incremental changes from just doing those things.

[Guest]

And are you sharing this as this is going on, or did you share.

[Michael Bostick]

After you got fit?

[Les Alfred]

I started sharing a few years later. So my senior year of college, I was really into wellness. After college, I was really into wellness, and I started working full time in corporate, absolutely miserable. And I noticed that the only time of the day that I was remotely happy was when I was at the gym every day. So I became a personal trainer, and I started training clients and also teaching fitness classes before and after work. And that was when people in my life started noticing, and they were like, okay, wait, what are you doing? You seem so much stronger. You seem so much happier. You're actually, like, speaking and becoming a confident person. And I started sharing online about it in 2014. That was when I started blogging.

[Guest]

Don't you think lifting weights does give you a certain confidence? I feel so much more confident since I started lifting weights. It's weird.

[Michael Bostick]

It's like a switch.

[Les Alfred]

It is. It teaches you how to believe in yourself, is what I always tell people. It rewires your brain because if you can do something physically that you didn't think you could do before, it makes you think, okay, well, what else can I do?

[Lauren Everts]

Yeah, I've said on this show multiple times, like, if you're somebody that's anxious or feeling depressed or not feeling confident, just getting in the gym and starting to get fit is going to change so much of that. And, you know, I think for the people that don't take, you know, those kind of activities seriously or don't do those things, it's kind of like, oh, easy for you to say. I found in my own life, like, if I Stop doing those things. That's when I start to wallow. That's when I start to stress. That's when I start to get a little depressed. And like, I feel like if. More like if even. Forget the vein reasons or the health reasons, just for the mindset alone. Like, if there's one message I could convey to someone, it's like, just get in the gym and do hard things, and so many things in your life will improve 100%.

[Guest]

What's wild to me is, is I wouldn't be able to do the things I do without the gym. And it's not even about. It's not even about the way my body looks. It's like, it sets the tone of the whole day.

[Michael Bostick]

It clears your head.

[Guest]

It. It really, like, sort of kicks it off.

[Les Alfred]

It does. I mean, I think it teaches you how to be comfortable doing hard things. I think it increases your tolerance for discomfort, which I think is really hard for a lot of people want to be comfortable all the time and want everything to be easy. So starting your day with something that makes you be uncomfortable, forcing yourself to do hard things at the beginning sets you up to be able to do that all day.

[Guest]

That is such a problem right now, is everyone wants to be comfortable all the time.

[Lauren Everts]

When I talk to people about ambition in our private life, sometimes I say what I'm about to say, and it's like you can see the moment in their face when they realize, like, many of them think this way. So a lot of people's goal in life is to get to a place where they're so comfortable that they don't have to do anything else. So let me elaborate. A lot of people want to work and have success so that one day they can afford to pay all of their bills and pay off their mortgage and pay off their house so that they can just stay in that same place and be comfortable. There's nothing wrong with that. But if. If that's your goal is just you want to be comfortable all the time so you can stay in the same place, it's really hard to grow. That's when I tell people, like, the shift should change to be like, you should always be a little bit uncomfortable, and you should make peace with the fact that in life you're always going to be a little uncomfortable because that's what's going to keep pushing you forward. Where, like, the only goal in life is just to stay in the same place and be comfortable in the same place. You're just going to stop growing. And I think that's when people start to get complacent and a little upset and maybe not so happy with the results they're having in their life.

[Guest]

I feel like you have to go out of your way to seek discomfort, though.

[Les Alfred]

You do.

[Guest]

So whether it's going on a really long walk while you're on the phone, or getting into a cold plunge, or doing a really hot sauna, or going to the gym and lifting really heavy weights, you do actively have to seek it out. And if you're not seeking it out, it's probably not going to come to you a lot. Putting your phone away, even deleting your.

[Michael Bostick]

Instagram app, like, just getting off social.

[Guest]

Media and picking up a book, it's something you have to seek out.

[Les Alfred]

It is especially those moments when you don't want to. That's when you have to the most.

[Guest]

You went viral on your Instagram for reframing what exercise means to you.

[Les Alfred]

Yeah.

[Guest]

Talk to us about that, for sure.

[Les Alfred]

I mean, I like to think of exercise as like, a daily deposit in becoming the person that I want to be. All of my habits, I think of them as daily deposits. If it were. If my life were a bank account and I'm adding to it, my habits, my workouts, my journaling, whatever it is, are all deposits to become that. And I had to have kind of a come to Jesus moment with myself a few years ago when I felt kind of stagnant. I wasn't really reaching goals or getting where I wanted to be. I realized that I was staying so deep in my comfort zone that the version of myself that I needed to be to get there, her comfort zone was a lot higher. Like, her threshold for what she could tolerate was higher. So I had to start reframing it of, like, okay, I'm doing these things to increase that threshold of what I can take so I can get where I want to be.

[Lauren Everts]

What's an example of, like, what your comfort zone was when you think back?

[Les Alfred]

I think a lot of it was fear of being seen, like, with podcasting for a really long time. On my podcast artwork, I didn't have my photo on it. It was like a graph. I didn't do, like, solo episodes. I only did interviews because I was just, like, afraid of having opinions, afraid of people seeing who I was or knowing who I was. And I was like, well, if I'm going to be successful at this, people have to know who I am. They have to see me. They have to feel like they're getting to know me.

[Guest]

It makes sense. I Was reading a naval Ravikant. Is that how you say his last name?

[Lauren Everts]

Yep.

[Guest]

Quote. And he's like, authenticity beats competition. You kind of have to put yourself out there. When you decided to start putting your face on your artwork and getting on your podcast and saying opinions, what happened?

[Les Alfred]

Oh, it grew a ton. I had started podcasting in 2018 and early. Yeah, it was pretty early. And in 2021 I shifted a few things. I started doing more solo episodes, talking directly to the audience. I got new artwork with a photo of me on it. And like immediately downloads took off. Show started growing. People just felt more connected to the message because they felt more connected to me.

[Lauren Everts]

We were talking before the show started about talking about the difference between 20s and 30s and the things that you've learned, maybe even what we've learned. What were some of, like, looking back, and I know you've touched on this topic, what are, what were some of the bigger changes that you've noticed have had positive impact?

[Les Alfred]

In my 20s, I was the most risk averse person. I spent so much time in jobs and relationships and environments. Again, that felt really comfortable, that I felt like it was really steady. I knew what I was going to get, but I was absolutely miserable. But the idea of leaving, it felt really scary because I thought, well, I could be happier. But I don't know if I will. Versus if I stay in this, I know exactly how it feels, even if I hate it. And in my 30s, probably the biggest change I've made is being willing to step into things that are unknown. And I used to feel like, okay, if I don't know if this is going to work out perfectly, I can't do it. Versus now that I'm older, I'm like, I don't know if it's going to work out perfectly, but I trust myself enough to know that I'll figure it out even if it doesn't work out.

[Lauren Everts]

Well, the crazy thing is, it's funny now, being married, having kids, having responsibilities. Like, I look back on my 20s, my man, we should have taken even more risks. Young people don't realize, like, you don't have any real responsibilities in your 20s other than taking care of your own bills. Like, but, you know, worst case scenario, move in with a couple roommates or back with mom and dad if you're lucky enough. Or like, you know, you can one bedroom or small studio. Like, you can do those things when you have later in life when you have wife and kids and family and company, whatever, you can't do all that. So I, I always say to young people, like, the more risky things you can do, the younger the better because you're going to be like, I am now more risk averse as I've gotten older. Does it make sense?

[Les Alfred]

Definitely.

[Guest]

I think too, there's, there's something that I've noticed as I've gotten older is people are addicted to certainty.

[Les Alfred]

Yes.

[Guest]

And it's really interesting to watch. Like if you, if you look at a thread, all the people that we've interviewed, there is, people love certainty. But if you really look at it, do you really want your life to be exactly what you think it will be? I mean, I want my life to exceed my expectations and be interesting and uncertain. And I think, I think that you're right. In your 20s, you're like obsessed with knowing what's going to happen. You want control over that. What are some other things that you've seen be such differences.

[Les Alfred]

I think moving was a really big one. So I'm from Seattle. That's where I lived the first 30 years of my life. I'd never really left my hometown before and I was miserable there. And it's a beautiful place. It's like a great place.

[Lauren Everts]

Weather's a little tough.

[Les Alfred]

The weather is really tough. Weather is, yeah.

[Lauren Everts]

Little dreary at times.

[Les Alfred]

It does a number on the mental health. But I knew from a pretty young age that I felt really dissatisfied there, that it didn't feel like a place I could grow. And I just stayed because I knew what to expect. And I moved to LA at 30. And even just that act of moving to a different city, even though I didn't ultimately stay in la did wonders because it forced me again out of that comfort zone to do different things, to grow up a bit.

[Guest]

Are you specific about the way you wake up and go to bed every single day?

[Les Alfred]

Hyper specific.

[Guest]

Oh, get into it. This is the podcast, Michael. Settle in.

[Les Alfred]

Yes. Okay. So I would say my mornings are probably my most sacred time. I got super into morning routines pretty early on. Honestly, when I was probably like middle school, I was waking up at like 5 in the morning just to have my quiet time before school. And so I've always just really loved a really sacred morning. So for me these days, what my morning looks like, wake up. First thing I immediately have to do is put on workout clothes because that's half the battle. So if I put on workout clothes immediately, as soon as my feet touch the ground, then I know that I will get a workout in. Then I do kind of the typical things. The tongue Scrape the water, the vitamins. I will spend a bit of time reading. I always have two books going at a time. I'm always reading a nonfiction book for like learning in the morning and then fiction at night. What are you reading right now in the morning? For my non fiction, I'm reading a book called for the Culture by Marcus Collins. It's all about brand building and how we build brands around culture. It's really interesting. And then my fiction book, it's called Yellowface. I forget the author's name. Wild book. That, that book is a little out of my genre.

[Guest]

Why? What's the genre?

[Les Alfred]

It is like normally I'm a romance girl. I love a good like romance happy ending. This book is like I don't even know. It's wild. I mean read it. It's different. It's really interesting. It's kind of a thriller, but different. So in the mornings I'll read, I will meditate, I will do a bit of journaling and I have a form of journaling called best case scenario journaling that I like to do morning.

[Guest]

Tell us about that.

[Les Alfred]

So it's where I will write out either how I want the day to go, assuming all best case scenarios, or if there's something that I'm worried about that's stressing me out that's on my mind. I will write out what I think the best case scenario of that situation is. Give us an example. So like let's say I have a day where I'm doing a bunch of back to back podcast recordings and maybe I feel nervous about it. I will write out in detail exactly how I want it to go. Like me and this guest vibe so well. I get them to admit things they've never admitted on air before. The audience loves this episode. Like I will write out what I want all of the outcomes to be for the day ahead. And it just kind of, I think rewires my brain to look more for the positive in things because I think we tend to always be prepared for the worst case scenario. Which is fine like yes, be prepared, but also like be prepared for the good things too. Because most of the time you have a 50, 50 shot of things working out and we never look at that.

[Guest]

Isn't it funny how when you first, when you open your eyes, your brain immediately wants to go to what's wrong.

[Les Alfred]

Exactly.

[Guest]

It's like you really do have to train your brain.

[Les Alfred]

Yeah.

[Guest]

So go on with your morning.

[Les Alfred]

Yeah, so I'll do my best case scenario journaling. I recently. I know you've been on this for a while, Lauren. I recently got an acupressure mat. I don't know. It took me so long.

[Guest]

Okay.

[Les Alfred]

But I love it. So now I will lay on that and I'll do my morning meditation for like 10 minutes.

[Guest]

Amazing.

[Les Alfred]

And then I use the acupressure.

[Guest]

You have kids, they step on it and they're like, every single time my kids step on it, they like. They are like, I'm trying to, like, hurt them.

[Lauren Everts]

They broke my eardrum.

[Les Alfred]

Shock to the system for the little shots. Yeah.

[Guest]

The pillow is also good too. You know what, though?

[Lauren Everts]

I gotta be honest. I get. Listen, I love looking for the possibility. And I think you have to. And I love what you're doing because you have to. You have to be able to envision, you know, something that's maybe not or that you don't believe is possible and see that it is possible.

[Les Alfred]

Yeah.

[Lauren Everts]

But I also, like, Lauren gets so flustered about, like, don't get on your phone in the morning and don't look for the negative. Sometimes I like to look for the negative because when I look at the negative, I can just say, okay, if the negative happens, this is like, what I will do to get out of it. And I think a lot of people, they fear the negative so much that they never look at it. And then when it happens, they're shocked. It's like the same people, they never check their bank accounts or never look at their credit cards because they're scared of what they're going to see. And I think sometimes when you face the bad stuff and you're like, okay, that's the worst thing that can happen, then it also opens up the other possibilities of looking for the good things in those bad things. Does that make sense?

[Les Alfred]

It does. Yeah. I think. I think a big part of that is learning how to trust yourself. And I think that's why a lot of people get afraid to look at the hard stuff, because they just feel like they don't know what to do versus if you look at the hard stuff, that's when you can make a plan to make it better or to solve the problem.

[Lauren Everts]

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience, and sell anything from products to content to time, all in one place, all on your own terms. Squarespace has been a long partner of this show. And that is because Lauren and I firmly believe that if you are a content creator, if you're an entrepreneur, if you're a business owner, if you're anyone that wants to own your own platform, your own identity on the Internet, Squarespace can help you do that. We have said for years that it is so important to own your own website, your own e comm channel, your own merch store, whatever it may be, your own platform that's not reliant on third party social platform, something that you actually own yourself. What we love about Squarespace is it makes it easy for you to create that platform. Whether you want to build a custom merch website, an online store, if you want to build an email campaign, or flexible websites with different templates, Squarespace can help you do all of it. They have analytics tools and blogging tools and they even offer flexible payment solutions. If you want to build an e commerce store, sell things online. They also have tools to help you build your own courses and subscription content. So check it out. Head to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to Launch, go to www.squarespace.com skinny to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Again, that's www.squarespace.com skin. Don't procrastinate any longer. Go and own your destiny. Build your own platform, your own website, whatever it may be. Squarespace.com Skinny quick break to talk about Just Thrive. It is the most wonderful time of the year. Or is it? Between family gatherings, holiday parties, and just a little more on our plates than usual, our health can take an absolute toll on us. Luckily we have the Just Thrive probiotic, the only clinically proven probiotic and antioxidant on the market. Unlike most probiotics, it actually works. They even have a money back guarantee. Lauren and I have had the founder of Just Thrive on this podcast multiple times talking about all the clinical research that's gone into this product. We have been longtime customers and users of the Just Thrive probiotic and their Just Calm product. We take them in combination ever since we both started taking it. We have better gut health, we have better clarity, we have less stress. Some of the other benefits outside of better gut health and less stress is it's going to give you a clear, glowing skin. It's also going to help support your immune system, especially at this time of season. And it can help you improve your mood and sleep. And we love that they have different optionality when it comes to their products. Just Thrive comes in capsule or Gummy. And it's the perfect gift for your whole family. The best part, no refrigeration is needed, so you can take it anywhere, anytime. Give yourself the gift of health this year and kickstart your new year and routine early with Just Thrive for a limited time. You can save 20% off site [e-mail] with promo code Skinny. Cheers to a healthy, happy holiday season from Just Thrive.

[Michael Bostick]

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[Lauren Everts]

I was just working with a friend of mine who I'm helping him with some personal finance stuff. And I was like, the first part of this is we're going to look at everything, all the debt, all the spending. We're going to get really honest. And it was like debilitating for him. And I was like, well, until you like, face all of this, I can't help you because, like, you know, there's an issue there.

[Les Alfred]

Right.

[Lauren Everts]

And you know, it's not productive and you know, it's stressful. But until we fully face it, understand it, there's no way to work. There's no, there's no place to work from. You know what I mean?

[Les Alfred]

Oh, yeah.

[Lauren Everts]

And so when he did that, now he's like, there's a. A full plan in place, not to mention a full behavioral change of, like, things you spend and don't spend. But I just noticed, like, sometimes people stay in a place of despair because they'd rather not face the thing and they just want to think, like, positively. Whenever someone tells me, like, oh, I just think positive. Like, you can't. It's like me running a company when something's going into the ground, I'm like, well, we're just all going to think positive. It's like, that's part of it. But you also have to face the problem.

[Les Alfred]

You do. You have to. You have to. I think it's about being solutions oriented. Right. And you can't have a solution without understanding the problem. Even with your finance example, I had a really similar experience where I had a lot of student loans coming out of undergrad and I paid them all off, off. And people asked me like, oh, did you have a really detailed debt repayoff plan? What was your plan? I was like, I had no plan. I was just checking my accounts constantly. Any extra money I had constantly went towards debt for years until it was gone. Like, it wasn't a detailed thing. It was creating solutions to that problem.

[Guest]

You spoke a lot about that. What was the response?

[Les Alfred]

Like? It was a mixed response. I mean, I think a lot of people felt really encouraged because they felt like if I could do that, then they could do it too. Which is ultimately why I wanted to share that story. I think also it triggered some people. At the time I was dating this guy and he was actually kind of a dick about it. I mean, that's why we're no longer dating. Because he's such a hater.

[Lauren Everts]

Because he was jealous that you paid off your debt.

[Les Alfred]

Yeah. Because he still had a lot and he was like, doing the thing, next.

[Guest]

Time you need to DM me. Any guy that's jealous, she got rid of him.

[Les Alfred]

Yeah, we're not dating anymore. Such a haters. Because I think it just knew that.

[Guest]

You paid your debt off, he should be like, so happy for you. He should be popping the champagne, getting the caviar ready.

[Lauren Everts]

Yeah, but there's two kinds of people. There's people that look at something that someone's doing that's positive and say, hey, I want to do that too. And then there's the other people that it's a reflection on themselves, and they say, well, easy for you. Or, like, that's not for me, you know, and they get defeated by it. I think, like, you get it to, like, fortunately, you get to decide which kind of person you want to be. You know what I mean?

[Guest]

Did you kick him to the curb after that?

[Les Alfred]

I did, yes.

[Guest]

So it was like, you saw the rest of it.

[Les Alfred]

He's been to the curb. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Guest]

Because guess what? That. I feel like that's telling you for the future, when you continue to succeed, which you obviously are just going to continue to achieve. You're an achiever. I continue tell he's going to be jealous because he's projecting his insecurity onto you.

[Les Alfred]

Oh, yeah. And I think that's a problem for a lot of girls. Like, their biggest op is the guy.

[Guest]

Is that what you're seeing when you talk to women?

[Les Alfred]

I've definitely seen it quite a bit, yeah. Where. Where, like, the guys that they're with are not celebrating their accomplishments with them, or anytime they have a big moment, somehow magically, someone steps in and, like, ruins it in some way. It's messed up.

[Guest]

That's interesting that you say that. We just had the Stallone sisters on the podcast, and they were saying some similar things, that it's. It's slim pickings out there.

[Les Alfred]

Indeed. I've experienced.

[Lauren Everts]

It's interesting for me to talk to the women in this company and that come on this show because obviously I'm surrounded by a lot of you women.

[Les Alfred]

Right.

[Lauren Everts]

And a lot of you are obviously accomplished, which is why we're all working together. And this is like, a common theme that comes. I think what it is, is for. For men that see women having the success that you guys have at a large scale, if they're not on that same level, it is. It's a bit of a dynamic switch. And especially if you grew up in a more. I know this is not proper anymore, traditional household, whether the. The father was the breadwinner and the mother was maybe not. I think a lot of men have a challenge with that dynamic.

[Les Alfred]

Right.

[Lauren Everts]

It's like they just haven't made the switch in their head that really, like, if it was me, I always say, like, I would love to sit back and just kind of, like, kick my feet up and Lauren can just take care of everything, you know?

[Guest]

Like, really?

[Lauren Everts]

Yeah. I can't do that. But it's like, I'm like cool, like better for me. But I can see a lot of guys, like, they don't like, maybe it's like an affront on their masculinity or something.

[Les Alfred]

Yeah, it's. And I like use that as motivation. I'm like, why isn't that not motivating you to do better than if you feel a way about it?

[Guest]

I feel like since that you have made an intentional effort to get that out of your way, you won't attract that in the future. Does that make sense?

[Les Alfred]

Agreed. Well, now I know what to look for too. I know, yes. What the signs.

[Guest]

I believe that like, like this is maybe like, woo, woo. But you're vibrating at a certain frequency now because you know that, that you won't even let that into your ether.

[Lauren Everts]

But listen, I'm just a finance nerd, I think man, woman, child, whatever. Like anyone that's mad about you paying off your debt, that's immediate red flag.

[Guest]

I think it's nice to have two people pushing the boulder up the hill. If I'm. If it's nice for me, I have.

[Lauren Everts]

To keep pushing alongside.

[Guest]

Push it up, keep pushing it up. Even if I'm a billionaire, I'd still like you to do some work. Work can come in different, different aspects. You know what I mean? Yeah, I'm not like, oh, I'll go change all the diapers. You don't have to do anything.

[Lauren Everts]

Maybe you can put like one of those big backpacks on your back and I can sit in. You can carry me around like, no, no, no.

[Guest]

I need, I need you to put.

[Lauren Everts]

Some elbow grease in my legs, even just carry me everywhere.

[Guest]

What are some wellness hacks that you have seen because you are so on the pulse with wellness that you think are going to be huge.

[Les Alfred]

Okay, so we all obviously know that everybody's about protein right now. And I know you've talked a lot about this, which love about the protein.

[Guest]

Kion chocolate protein in here.

[Les Alfred]

Yes, love some kion. I'm usually sipping on it when I work out. I do think that next fiber is going to have a similar moment. The whey protein is right now and I think it's. It's kind of starting. Which also if people are eating this much protein, like they need some fiber in their lives for like a healthy gut. But I do think like 2025 fiber is going to have the moment that protein is having right now.

[Guest]

Maybe you need to make your own fiber powder.

[Les Alfred]

Ooh, that's the first person that's Come.

[Guest]

On the podcast in a while and talked about fiber.

[Les Alfred]

Yeah.

[Guest]

Because fiber makes the protein evacuate.

[Les Alfred]

Yeah, it does. I mean, we need it for digestion. Yeah. It's important.

[Lauren Everts]

I think, like, the big thing is, like, if you're not having just, you know, we're just talking, like, proper bowel movements. That's an indication right away.

[Guest]

Bowel movement.

[Lauren Everts]

Great. Easy. Perfect. Clean.

[Guest]

I don't want to know. I've never, ever, ever in my entire life seen anything. And I've known him since I was 12 years old. No, but people think it's so crazy. He's never like, we don't share that.

[Lauren Everts]

I mean, there could be some things that you keep. Like. Yeah, I'm not like, to be honest, I don't get these. And listen, this is going to trigger some couples. I don't really get these couples that want to, like, take shits in front of each other. Like, that doesn't seem very sexy.

[Guest]

I have a friend that just open and they talk the whole time. Time. By the way, that if that works for you, whatever.

[Lauren Everts]

Yeah, no, but it does.

[Les Alfred]

It's nice to have, like, a little.

[Lauren Everts]

I mean, is it really working for you? Do you like. Do you do that? And then you're like, let's. I'll see you tonight in the bedroom, honey.

[Guest]

Like, I don't know, maybe with all this fiber that you say is gonna be happening, maybe you may not have a choice.

[Lauren Everts]

Call me immature. I want to pretend that never happens. So I don't even want to think about it.

[Les Alfred]

Yeah.

[Guest]

It doesn't ever happen.

[Les Alfred]

Yeah. I will say even more specifically about fiber, though. And I've started to see this pick up. I also think the girls are going to get very into eating kiwis a lot. Like, I've also been doing this too. Like, a kiwi a day, I think is gonna, like, replace a lot of people's gut health supplements. That's my next prediction. Who's kids?

[Guest]

He does eat kiwis.

[Les Alfred]

Really? Yeah.

[Lauren Everts]

Kiwis are one of the best sources.

[Guest]

You know what, though? You were eating it every day. And I've noticed a lull in the kiwi. And today I noticed that you had gained a couple lbs. So I'm gonna correlate that with the fact that you're bloated and you need some kiwi.

[Lauren Everts]

A little bit of a kiwi gut thing going on.

[Les Alfred]

Yeah.

[Guest]

Talk to us about investing time, money, and energy into becoming a better version of yourself.

[Les Alfred]

Oh, my gosh. Yes. This has been my favorite topic.

[Michael Bostick]

Please.

[Les Alfred]

Because I've I mean, I always have some sort of, like, theme of my year in 2021/2022. That was when I was investing really heavily into, like, fixing my finances, being ready to do content full time. So that was when I paid off my student loans, up my savings, all that. 2023 was when I invested more in my business and in my content itself. And then for 2024, I said, okay, this year, I'm going to invest in myself and start, like, really putting more into myself after I was so frugal and, like, worked so hard for so long. So for me, it's just been more of, like, becoming the version of myself that I feel like I've always been. Like, I've always done so much work on the inside, whether that's like, working out, therapy, journaling all those things. And I felt like the outside wasn't really matching what was going on on the inside. Like, I was neglecting my looks and, like, not.

[Guest]

It's hard to believe that because you show up today, you look so beautiful. Your skin's glowing, your hair is long and luscious.

[Les Alfred]

What do you mean? I mean, I feel like I just. I kind of ignored my outsides. Like, I was living in workout clothes. I was kind of frumpy for a long time.

[Lauren Everts]

Did you invest in, like, a new wardrobe?

[Les Alfred]

Yeah, like, upped my style. And it was not even necessarily that I've, like, bought a lot of new clothes, but I've actually practiced, like, understanding my style, understanding my body type, putting time into actually putting myself together every day instead of just living in workout clothes 24 7, learning how to do my hair, taking better care of my skin, getting invisalign to, like, straighten my teeth.

[Guest]

You have a beautiful smile.

[Les Alfred]

Thank you.

[Guest]

It's one of the most beautiful smiles I've ever seen.

[Les Alfred]

Oh, my God.

[Guest]

I'm very picky. Look at how pretty her smile is. It's so wide. It's so white. It's beautiful.

[Lauren Everts]

Thank you again. People, appearance is important.

[Michael Bostick]

It is.

[Lauren Everts]

It's a reflection of yourself. It's a reflection of, like, do you take yourself seriously? Are you. I. There was this a revolt in the office one time because I came in, I said, no, no sweat outfits in the office. I don't need a bunch of men and women lounging around my office in sweatsuits. Like, I was like, no, I don't. And people got upset about it. Like, what do we want to, like, if you don't. I don't want people to walk into this office any. Dear me office and see a bunch of people slopping around in sweat outfits. Call me, like, I don't know, vain, but that's just not. I don't want to do it. I want people to think, like, okay, I want. Like, there's been some thought put into the way that we present ourselves and that, you know, there's a high standard that we hold ourselves to. And I think business or in dating or in personal lives, like, when you see somebody that is, like, you know, it doesn't have to be super expensive, but when they put themselves together, it reflects something, right? And it says something. And I think it's important. And, you know, one of my biggest qualms, I go through the airports these days with Lauren. I'm like, why does everyone look like shit? Like, why can't people get dressed up anymore? Like, I say it all the time. You go to Vegas. Like, why is nobody in a jacket? I think it's important to present yourself well. Right? It just is. Like, people can get mad about that. But, like, you have people like me walking around making decisions. Be like, nope, wouldn't do something with that. They're in a sweatsuit. No way. Like, it's just the truth.

[Les Alfred]

It is the truth, and I think it's. We live in a visual. You know, a lot of people are very visual in a lot of ways. That's how they make business decisions. That's how they determine how they're gonna take people seriously or not. And people don't have to do anything. If people still wanna dress how they wanna dress, present how they wanna present, they can, but just understand what some of the repercussions of that may be and move accordingly. And I realized that not putting effort into my appearance was hindering me in a lot of ways.

[Lauren Everts]

Well, look at it. I mean, like, even from an employer standpoint, like, I don't even know if this is HR compliant. I honestly don't care. If somebody showed up to a job interview with me and they were in, like, some sweat outfit and then put. I wouldn't even think about what they were saying. I just couldn't. Couldn't get past that point. Like, I wouldn't even be like, what are the qualifications? What are the. Like, what is. What do you have to. I wouldn't even get past the visual part of it. I would say I am lost in what this presentation is. It's not up to the standard. You're not hired.

[Les Alfred]

Well, it can communicate.

[Lauren Everts]

I wouldn't say it like that, but I just would. That's what My brain would do.

[Les Alfred]

Yeah.

[Guest]

Well, that's because it.

[Les Alfred]

It can communicate things about, like, okay, well, how detail oriented are they? Or if they're not willing to put effort into themselves, are they going to put effort into this job? Are they? You know, it's a lot. I had to have hard conversations with myself about it to, like, motivate myself. No.

[Lauren Everts]

I was with this guy, one of my friends the other day, and he was gonna go on this date with this girl, and he showed up and he was like, in like a. It's just no effort. And I was like, this is not gonna go well for you, man. Like, this girl's gonna look at you and say, you put no effort into. Like, I would imagine a woman wants to say, like, hey, this guy really, like, put some effort into the appearance because he wants to wow me. Like, that shows it's attractive.

[Guest]

You can't be doing Pigpen.

[Les Alfred]

Yeah.

[Lauren Everts]

You can't be showing up like, hey, I don't really give a fucking. Like, let's see what happens. Like, that's not exciting.

[Guest]

I like the self awareness, though. And I mean, today you look amazing.

[Les Alfred]

Thank you.

[Guest]

I feel everyone needs to go watch the YouTube.

[Lauren Everts]

And again, it doesn't have to be some expensive. It just has to indicate that you're trying. Does that make sense?

[Les Alfred]

Yeah. And that was even. So in September, I did a challenge with myself where I challenged myself to get dressed for 30 days, only wearing workout clothes when I'm working out. And I didn't spend a whole bunch of money on new clothes. I used clothes that I already had. But I just took the time each morning to put things together and make different combinations of things. Like, my audience really loved it. It inspired a lot of people to get dressed. I didn't have to spend any money. I just had to try.

[Lauren Everts]

But, you know, like, a common question on this podcast for years has been, like, where does confidence come from? And there's a million answers to that. But I feel personally, when you put that kind of effort into just getting prepared and getting ready in the morning, like, it automatically ups the confidence by a few points. Just the fact that you've, like, kind of got yourself. You know what I mean? Like, when you walk out, you're like, okay, I've put in the effort. And then you're like, I'm feeling myself. I look good. Like, it's automatically kind of puts you in a mindset. It's like, okay, I'm a little bit more confident today than I was before.

[Guest]

You know, out of all of the DMs you get and questions you get from your audience. What is the most common.

[Les Alfred]

Ooh, I would say probably the most common DM is how do I maintain my hair while working out?

[Guest]

Oh, I don't wash my hair. Do you not.

[Les Alfred]

Not super often.

[Guest]

Yeah. No, you can tell you don't wash.

[Michael Bostick]

Your hair because if you have luscious, like.

[Les Alfred]

Yeah. Voluminous hair. Yeah.

[Guest]

No one wants to hear it, though.

[Les Alfred]

I know.

[Guest]

They just want to tell what's the cod? What's your code? I have a code.

[Les Alfred]

I know. Well, okay. So for me, I'm all about always wearing a headband when I work out to wick up any sweat. I use a lot of dry shampoo and I just. Sometimes I just let it frizz. I mean, I'm not going to let, like, not wanting to mess up my hair be the reason why I don't work out. I think it just adds more volume and I let it.

[Guest]

Also, when you're lifting weights, and maybe everyone else is different, but I feel when I'm lifting weights, you're not like, like in a Barry's Boot Camp, dripping sweat. It's not the same kind of situation.

[Les Alfred]

Right.

[Guest]

So it's not like I leave the workout, like, with sweat all over my hair. I am not a big fan of washing hair at all.

[Lauren Everts]

But don't you feel like also when you.

[Guest]

You don't wash your hair?

[Lauren Everts]

I do, but not.

[Guest]

Not much.

[Lauren Everts]

But as you change your diet and you get more collagen in your diet and you. You. Your hair starts to just get better. A lot of people have been neglecting they. They focus so much on, like, the product and this and the treatment, but it's like the diet is a huge part of it.

[Les Alfred]

It is.

[Guest]

What is your diet like?

[Les Alfred]

My diet, it's kind of like all things in moderation, honestly. I mean, I try to have some sort of, like protein and fiber with every meal is usually like, my goal. But I don't really restrict a lot. I try not to overdo it on sugar. Cause it just makes me tired and I don't have time to be tired. But, yeah, that's about it.

[Guest]

And how do you run your day? What are your tips and tricks for running your schedule, your calendar? Is there a method to your madness time batch?

[Les Alfred]

I do. So I have different days of the week where I focus on different things. So, like, Mondays are podcast days. That's when I'm working on ads. That's when I'm doing research. That's when I'm recording Don't talk to me about anything related to podcasts. If it's not a Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursdays, those are usually either my social media days, my community management days, or like days where I'm working on projects. And then Fridays are admin and like personal time. So that's how I always structure my week week for the day to day. I'm a big planner girly. And I'm also a big calendar girl. So like everything goes in the planner, everything goes in the calendar with full details of where I need to be and when. If it's not in either of those places, it is not happening.

[Guest]

How did you get so organized with this? Was there a book or a tool that you've used? Have you always been like this?

[Les Alfred]

No, I mean, I think it's kind of the opposite. Like I'm not naturally. And so I think I had to develop a lot of mechanisms to keep myself on track. And I also think I've always been kind of like a self motivated person. Like I was never really a kid that my parents had to tell me to do my homework or how to do this or how to do that. But I always knew that I really wanted to be successful and that being left up to my own devices wasn't going to work. And so a lot of it was just trial and error and like learning how to keep myself on track.

[Guest]

You're very self aware. Not everyone has that quality. Yeah, I mean you vary our self aware throughout the whole conversation.

[Les Alfred]

Thank you.

[Guest]

What is something that you would tell someone who's listening, who, who doesn't know where to start when it comes to wellness?

[Les Alfred]

Yeah, I mean, I think, I think it's important to follow how you feel. Like as I mentioned at the beginning of the episode, when I talked about what started my wellness journey, it was like I was exhausted every day and I wasn't like I couldn't do that and do my job. So I was going in search of energy to feel better. So understanding where you at right now and what's actually going to make you feel better, is it. Are you looking for energy like I was? Do you want to feel more confident in your body? Do you want to feel stronger? Do you have something going on with your health? Health, like what is that? Why for you and follow that.

[Michael Bostick]

Let me tell you about our new sponsor, Nurex. I have a hack for you. Okay. Internurex. It's a digital healthcare platform that makes it easy to get the expert healthcare you deserve at every step of your journey. This is so amazing. Okay.

[Les Alfred]

Right.

[Michael Bostick]

It's essentially providing treatment and care that's personalized to you. So through all your life's changes and transitions. So think birth control, anti aging, prescription skincare treatment for common medical health concerns. Everything is tailored to your unique health and history goals. What I think that's so amazing is they give you access to licensed medical providers. This is so cool. And they've served more than one 1.6 million birth control patients in the United States. I'm a fan of anything, as you guys know, that saves me time. I like effortless and efficient. I like convenient, I like private, and I like compassionate. And this brand is hitting everything. They provide reliable reproductive and sexual health care. This would have been so amazing for me. I remember being like 16 and going to Planned Parenthood and feeling just, I don't know, just like I didn't know what to do. I felt kind of out of my depths, if I'm being honest. Everything's delivered discreetly to your door, so no trips to the pharmacy. This is truly life changing. Thanks to Nurex for sponsoring the show. Taking control of your reproductive health starts here. Go to nurex.comskinny to get started. That's n u r x.com skinny results may vary. Not offered in every state. Medications prescribed only if clinically appropriate. Consultation required. You know, I like my bowl of meat. I enjoy my bowl of meat every single day. It's truly become like a staple in my life. I make all different kinds of bowls of meat. I do a hamburger bowl. I do kind of like a fiesta bowl. I do sometimes just like a honey and meat and raw cheese bowl, all kinds of different bowls. And lately I've been adding a little bit of green to my bowls. And how I've been doing that is with the fresh, best tasting salad to eat at home or on the go kits. They're by Taylor Farm Chop salad kits. Okay, so these salads are pre washed, pre cut and ready to enjoy. They did all the work for you, which is amazing. Taylor Farm salads makes healthy eating easy and delicious. I agree. So what I like to do is I like to take one of their kits, I like to mix it up. They have like a chopped salad kit. You can pick your favorite.

[Guest]

And then I like to put it.

[Michael Bostick]

At the bottom of the bowl, put the meat on top and then I'll add, I don't know, tomatoes, maybe chopped red onions, sometimes jalapeno, sometimes a special sauce and I'll just make a really beautiful bowl. And I like to use organs in my bowl. I know that Sounds crazy to some people, but it's like an ancestral blend. So I have my ground beef with my liver. It's so good. And I'm telling you, these chopped salad kits just make it super fresh and delicious and give it a crunch. So if you're looking for a way to, like, take your bowl of meat to the next level, you got to check these out. Maybe you want to add some garbanzo beans or chopped red onion or even some salami on your salad with some cheese. You could just make like a plain bowl like that. There's so many things you can do with these salad kits, but they are delicious and super fresh. Taylor Farm's chopped salad kits are available at all major grocery stores.

[Guest]

This episode is sponsored by cotton, the fabric of our lives. I personally am such a big cotton fan. It's soft, it's durable, it's buttery, it's quality. And when I'm choosing pajamas for my kids, I'm always choosing cotton. I will literally search a hundred percent cotton pajamas. I just did a holiday haul where I got some Halloween pajamas, Thanksgiving pajamas, Christmas pajamas, and everything I chose was 100% cotton. And it's because it lays so nicely on their skin. It's comfortable, and I just know its quality.

[Lauren Everts]

It is basically the only T shirts that I wear are all 100% cotton. I think the only material you should be wearing when it comes to underwear is cotton.

[Guest]

Enough about your underwear, Michael. Let's talk about what I'm doing for the holidays to prioritize my wellness. I am obviously wearing cotton. Cold plunge signing, getting my morning sunlight, meditating, lots of daily walks, and lifting weights. I think during the holidays, it's such a good time to really think about all the different things that you want to do new in the next year or continue into the next year. And one of those things for me will definitely be wearing cotton. I know my kids have tons of cotton, Michael has cotton, and we're actually wearing it right now.

[Lauren Everts]

It's just an all around great material.

[Guest]

If you're doing any holiday shopping, make sure you're always shopping. 100% cotton. That's what you want to choose, especially if you have kids. I know when I shop for Michael's T shirts, he's a medium. If anyone wants to know that he likes 100% cotton. Another way to implement cotton into your routine is through sheets. So if you want to get all cotton sheets or cotton pillows, it's so amazing. And to just know it's 100% cotton is such a wellness hack.

[Lauren Everts]

Like I said earlier, it's going to hold its shape, it's going to hold its form. It's going to last a really long time. So it's a good investment.

[Guest]

The other day I opened the drawer and found that Michael had about 45,000 different cotton shirts. I like color variation, all different colors. He truly has the whole rainbow. We're both cotton fans. Cotton is, is the fabric of now. Learn more at the fabric of our lives.com that's thefabric of our lives.

[Les Alfred]

Com.

[Lauren Everts]

How long was it until you transitioned from your job to full time creator?

[Les Alfred]

Oh, it was a long time. It's about almost 10 years.

[Lauren Everts]

And were you doing, were you working and creating on the side?

[Les Alfred]

I was, yeah. I started creating content in 2014 and I went full time in 2023. That's a long time.

[Lauren Everts]

Yeah, that's a long time. But the reason I ask is I think people will look at where you're at and hear some of the things you're talking about now like paying off your loans and being able to sel sustain your own business and your own brand. And it's like, and you know, I think people that listen to our show and jump in or it's never like this overnight thing. And that's why I wanted you to talk about. So when you were early days, what did it look like when you were managing, you know, a full time job and doing this on like what was the hours?

[Les Alfred]

Yeah, it was rough. It was where I was really grateful for my morning habits. But what I used to do is I used to create a work day for myself, for my content in the business before I would go to work each day. So I would like wake up super early in the morning, do my morning routine, like work out and then I would get home by around 7am and I would work on my stuff from let's say like 7 to 9. Before working at 9. I was also really grateful to work remotely. So I didn't necessarily have a commute at that time. So it was doing a lot of that in the mornings because I felt like I wanted to dedicate my energy to my business and what I really cared about before, like my employer, it was just a mental thing for me. Like my stuff comes first and I'm willing to, yeah, like wake up early to do it as well as just a lot of nights, a lot of weekends, Not a lot of social time.

[Guest]

No, I think a lot of people don't talk about the sacrifices that come in the beginning. There's not birthday parties all the time. And Friday nights out and late nights, it's like you really have to sacrifice things. And whether that's friendships, whatever it is, there comes with a lot of sacrifice.

[Lauren Everts]

I mean, even doing this show now, I mean, we've been doing it close to a decade, and somebody came on the show the other day and was like, oh, like some people say you're not related. And I was like, well, maybe people that are here now a decade later, but they forget. Like, when Lauren first started, she was teaching Pure Bar and going to school and bartending and then doing the blog on the side. And even when we started this show, we were both working completely different companies and jobs and commuting back and forth from San Diego to LA and basically doing this show for free for, like, that's. And I think back on those times very fondly because it was just like her. And I hoping that one day this would work out. But I wish more creators and entrepreneurs would talk about that because I think a lot of people now look to you and Lauren and maybe even in some cases myself, and, like, they aspire, but they forget that there's all of this messy part in the beginning when you're just struggling and nobody's paying attention and nobody's listening or watching and there's work that's taking place on the weekends and after hours and after other jobs because you're trying to support yourself with other things. And I just think it's important because, like, what I don't want is for people to tune in and get overwhelmed and be like, I could never do that. I want people to say, like, okay, these are the things I need to do if I want to do that and recognize that it's not easy. You know what I mean?

[Les Alfred]

Yeah. And I think sometimes people get a little too hung up on this idea of relatability or what they define as relatable. When I think someone is relatable, I think they're relatable because of their personality, because of who they are. No two people have the exact same lived circumstance. So I can't look at anybody and say, oh, I can fully relate to every part of their day because they're living a different life. And so if that's what we're looking for, we're not going to relate to anybody.

[Guest]

All right? And people who are trying to be relatable is not relatable. Yeah.

[Les Alfred]

It's also often, like, inauthentic because they're trying too hard to be something they're not. And.

[Michael Bostick]

Right.

[Lauren Everts]

Yeah. I was with this. I was with a reporter this weekend, and she was asking me this question, and I was like, listen, I just. The only responsibility that I feel as somebody who does this kind of thing publicly is to authentically tell my truth and to say it how I see it and how I feel it. And people are going to take from that what they want. But this whole idea that I have to, like, curate an experience to make somebody else that's either listening or watching comfortable is very strange to me. It's like, I just want to tell you what I'm doing, what I'm not doing, what's working, what's not working, what I believe, what I don't believe. I think people are smart enough to then come to their own conclusions and make their own judgment. But the idea that I have to kind of like weave in and out and make sure that everybody's personality jives with mine and that everybody's comfortable and happy with everything I say is absolutely insane to me. And I said it to her like, that I'm like, that's the only responsibility I feel as somebody with a platform.

[Les Alfred]

I think a lot of it's age related too, because I think in the earlier days of social media, it was kind of only people like our age on social media versus now there's multiple generations. So you'll have people who are in their teens or early twenties comparing themselves to, like, people our age. And it's like, well, I've had a decade of adulthood on you to figure certain things out. So if you haven't done. Done what I've done yet, it's okay. If you're 22 and you haven't done that yet, like, you have time.

[Lauren Everts]

100. Yeah. I mean, I think about this all the time.

[Les Alfred]

The.

[Lauren Everts]

In the early days of social, it was like, kind of like your best life all the time. But, like, everybody was kind of doing the same thing. And then somewhere along the line, it's like, well, now we got to show, like, every aspect of life. And I think now there's even a pullback to say, like, how much do I want to show of my life? There's like this whole big shift going on. But I imagine that is very confusing to younger generations who have always grown up with this. Like, where we were lucky enough, we were the same age. This didn't exist when we were coming up. So you kind of got to form your perspective and your ideas just on the world that was around you right now. It's confusing because everybody has to, like, watch all these Things and you can't tell, like, why is somebody so far ahead? There's no context of how they got there.

[Guest]

I think you have to be intentional about what you share. Like, you have to really be thoughtful nowadays of what, what you share. Like, for me, it goes through a funnel. I'm not going to show my child being potty trained or their first steps. Like, I'm. I just. I'm not gonna pull out my camera and show that to a bunch of people that don't know my kids. It just feels invasive. And I. And whatever your thing is, it doesn't have to be my thing. I think that having a funnel of what your content sort of goes through is important. I don't think everyone needs to see every single facet of it.

[Les Alfred]

For sure. Yeah. With social media, I like to think about going deep, but not wide. So, like, there are certain things that I'm willing to talk about. Wellness, I'll talk about all day long, and I'll go down to the deepest detail, but maybe details about what's going on with my family, that's just, like, off the table. And I'm not going into that at all. And I think sometimes, like, when you do that, you have those things that you're willing to go deep with. People actually don't notice what you're not sharing because you're sharing so much about what you do. Consent to sharing.

[Guest]

Yeah.

[Lauren Everts]

Well, the biggest problem with people that create content online, and I guess we would fall into that bucket, is some creators feel the need to have a comment or perspective on everything, even things that they really have no business having a comment or perspective on. Right. Like, it. I look at it the same way as, you know, if, say, you're getting a surgery, like, I'm not going to jump in from the side and be like, hey, doc, I think you should use that scalpel instead of like, that's what people do online. It's like sometimes you just got to say, hey, hey, this isn't my lane. Maybe I shouldn't have come. If you have really. If you really do feel passionate, you have something to say, maybe, fine. But this, I think that's the problem with the Internet is that everybody at all times is like, well, what's your perspective on all of this? It's like, well, sometimes maybe I don't want to enter the conversation and maybe I don't have a perspective that I want to share. You know what I mean?

[Les Alfred]

That's fair.

[Lauren Everts]

But it's like, you feel like because you have a platform, you have an obligation to share everything. And I think it's like actually the opposite. You have an obligation to share things. Things that you can be thoughtful about and where you can actually drive a real impact, not just like parroting the same thing that everybody else says.

[Guest]

I have rapid fire beauty questions.

[Michael Bostick]

Yes.

[Guest]

First we didn't hear your nighttime routine.

[Les Alfred]

So go back to that.

[Guest]

I put a pin in that.

[Les Alfred]

Okay, perfect. Yes. Okay. Love my nighttime routine. My nighttime routine kind of mirrors my morning routine in a lot of ways. Okay, so I'm a hatch alarm girly. Love my hatch the best.

[Guest]

Because who wants to be woken up by that cortisol inducing.

[Les Alfred]

No, no. So it goes off at 9pm every night to tell me to start getting ready for bed. So these days what that looks like for me is tidying up around my apartment because I noticed that I don't wake up on time in the morning if my space is messy. So I do a quick sweep through, tidy up the place so that I can wake up to a clean place. I will get back on my acupressure mat this time for like a little bit longer so that I feel a little bit more relaxed, change into my pajamas and then get in bed. And then it's is like Kindle time. It's don't call me, don't text me. It's Kindle until I fall asleep. And that's usually when I'm doing my, my fiction reading.

[Guest]

I love to end with a Kindle. I love that. What's your favorite skincare hack?

[Les Alfred]

Oh, my favorite skin care hack. I really love my new face. I would say the microcurrent because I just tend to have a really puffy face and so it helps me a lot.

[Guest]

I just used that the other day. That works great. Tell us your non negotiable and your wellness routine routine.

[Les Alfred]

Non negotiable. In my wellness routine movement, whether that's walking, working out, have to do it am skincare routine. Yes. So in the mornings, let's see, before I go to the gym, I will do a mini skincare routine where I just spray my face with hypochlorous acid and then I'll do sunscreen before doing active skin repair. I don't. Should I.

[Guest]

That's the. That's the brand that isn't it.

[Les Alfred]

It's one of them I use. I have like the Tower 28.

[Guest]

I didn't know there's another one.

[Les Alfred]

Yeah.

[Guest]

Okay.

[Les Alfred]

Yeah, there's a bunch of them out.

[Guest]

There just as like same ingredient.

[Les Alfred]

The same thing. Yeah. Yeah. So that's pre gym, post gym. I'll do a longer skincare routine. That's when I'll use my new face. I'll cleanse. I will use, like, vitamin C serum. I'm using right now the skin suicles. I think it's like the pto. It's supposed to be like Botox in a bottle.

[Lauren Everts]

The one with the silver l. I know the stuff.

[Les Alfred]

Yeah, he uses it. It's good.

[Guest]

Even act like I could use a.

[Lauren Everts]

Little more of it, to be honest.

[Guest]

Don't act like you don't know what to.

[Les Alfred]

I've really liked it. And then always sunscreen. I've been wearing sunscreen religiously since, like, middle school.

[Lauren Everts]

School.

[Les Alfred]

And I'm so grateful.

[Guest]

You can tell it's been a. It's been a skincare routine. Or is it the same?

[Les Alfred]

It's a little different. So I will usually do a cleansing balm. Right now I'm using the Elemis cleansing balm to take off my makeup.

[Guest]

That's a good one.

[Les Alfred]

So I will double cleanse, do that. And then I will do just, like, a regular cleanser to take off my makeup. About three days a week, I'll do retinol night. So then I'll actually do retinol all over. So I'll do retinol on my face, and then I'll also use a retinol body lotion that day. Days where I'm not doing retinol, I'll do. I've been using this serum called Lion Pose. It's what? It's lion something. I think it's Lion Pose. It's like an aha BHA exfoliant and then moisturizer.

[Guest]

One product. You never leave the house without.

[Les Alfred]

Never leave the house without. Ooh. Some sort of lip product. Whether that's a balm, whether that's a gloss or a lip oil.

[Guest]

What's the brand?

[Les Alfred]

I really love the Ami Cole lip oil. They have one in. It's brown. I want to say the shade is called Excellence. It's so cute.

[Guest]

Last question. Don't know if we told you, but we want to know what's in your bag.

[Les Alfred]

Oh, yeah. Yes. Okay, let me show you my bag.

[Michael Bostick]

Let it rip.

[Les Alfred]

I have lots of fun stuff in here, too, because I've been traveling.

[Guest]

Okay. You got, like, a Mary Poppins bag?

[Les Alfred]

I do. I have a lot. Okay, first thing, most important, heatless curlers.

[Guest]

Do those work?

[Les Alfred]

They do. That's what I used on my hair today. And I leave them in until I'm ready.

[Guest]

Michael, don't get any ideas. Michael will come out looking like George Washington.

[Les Alfred]

I have two lip glosses right now. This is the Maybelline superstay and Nyx butter gloss.

[Guest]

Okay.

[Les Alfred]

Amazing. I have very on brand. My Kindle.

[Guest]

Love always a big reader.

[Les Alfred]

This is the. Oh, it's no paper white. Oh, paper white.

[Guest]

I thought it was the Oasis. Do I need the paperweight?

[Les Alfred]

I love the paper white.

[Michael Bostick]

I don't have that lightweight.

[Les Alfred]

It's good hand cream.

[Guest]

Okay.

[Les Alfred]

Always. And then another one that I love. Old school Listerine strips.

[Guest]

Okay.

[Les Alfred]

Always.

[Lauren Everts]

People love those Listerine strips.

[Les Alfred]

They are. Because I don't like gum. You know, I don't like stuff like that that I can't see. So I have my glasses.

[Guest]

Okay.

[Les Alfred]

Because I'm literally blind. What else do I have in here that's not boring and work related? I do like having a little compact mirror. Just.

[Guest]

We like work related.

[Les Alfred]

Yeah, Cool. Perfect. Compact. Let's see, what else. I have a giant notebook because I'm always writing things down. So I'll use this for, like, work brain dumps. Ideas. What else do I have in here? What I'll.

[Michael Bostick]

Oh.

[Les Alfred]

Oh, this. Which I love. So this is because I'm traveling. This is a beanie that is satin lined. So I'll wear this on my hair while I'm traveling so it doesn't get frizzy.

[Guest]

That's smart.

[Les Alfred]

Always. Always.

[Lauren Everts]

Oh, God. You're gonna be all.

[Michael Bostick]

You're gonna be in one of those beanie.

[Guest]

I was wearing mouth tape on the plane the other day.

[Michael Bostick]

I don't give a. Yeah, absolutely.

[Les Alfred]

And then I have. I'm also like a tooth person. So I have just like a little oral health kit. So I have like my Invisalign. I have a toothbrush. I have a tongue scraper.

[Guest]

You don't have a little health kit that you travel?

[Lauren Everts]

I also don't have a Mary Poppins bag that I run around.

[Les Alfred]

You should get one. So that's what's in.

[Lauren Everts]

I just carried a tooth. Toothbrush in my jacket pocket.

[Michael Bostick]

You're ready.

[Guest]

Thank you for coming on the show. Tell us where we can go listen to your podcast. What can we expect? It's on Dear Media.

[Les Alfred]

Yes.

[Guest]

Tell us where we can find you on Instagram.

[Les Alfred]

Absolutely. Thank you so much for having me. So new episodes of Balance Black Girl come out every Tuesday, wherever you get your podcasts, and on YouTube. A fun mix of solo episodes as well as interviews. And then you can find me on Instagram and TikTok at Balance Months Less.

[Guest]

Thank you for coming on. Thank you for making the trip.

[Lauren Everts]

Thank you for doing this.

[Les Alfred]

Thank you for having me.

[Michael Bostick]

November 20eigth through December 2, Black Friday Cyber Monday on shopskinnyconfidential.com. you get 30% off. Go run, stock up on all the things, get all the gifts. Go to shopskinnyconfidential.com for 30% off everything.