
#787: Join us as we sit down with Lili Reinhart — an actress, mental health advocate, & founder of Personal Day, a clean ingredient skincare brand. Lili shares her journey, from overcoming social anxiety & discovering theater at a young age...
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Michael Bostic
The following podcast is a Dear Media Production. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire.
Lauren Everts
Fantastic.
Michael Bostic
And he's a serial entrepreneur, a very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostic are bringing you along for the ride.
Lauren Everts
Get ready for some major realness.
Michael Bostic
Welcome to the Skinny Confidential. Him and her.
Lily Reinhart
We grew up in the time of People magazine and, you know, seeing at the newsstand, at the grocery store, pictures of celebrities without makeup on with the headline like ugly. And you know, I would grow up watching America's Next Top Model with my sister and watching them stand on a scale in front of everyone else and say their weights out loud. And I was wet watching that when I was 13. So I was seeing these parameters that I had to be in. I was like, you know, I didn't want to be a model, but I was seeing these just like, oh, this is what women are supposed to. Okay, so I need to fit in that.
Lauren Everts
Lily Reinhart, welcome to the show. You may recognize her from the CW teen drama Riverdale. She's also a huge actress and she has the skincare line Personal Day. By the way, she gave you guys code skinny 15% off on personal day. Com. She's major on Instagram. I feel like she has like 30 million followers and. And people sure do love her. ASMR on TikTok. In this episode, we discuss the challenges in the entertainment industry. We talk about performance, ambition, mental health, anxiety. We even go in to the balance between achievement and fulfillment. It's pretty deep. It's very self aware, I have to say. And I said this to her at the end of this episode. A lot of celebrities will go on podcasts or shows and you can tell they're super guarded and almost sometimes in a way robotic. And she is not in this episode. She's very much a human having a human experience. And I think as a listener, you guys will appreciate this one. Lily Reinhart, welcome to the show.
Michael Bostic
This is the Skinny Confidential. Him and her.
Lauren Everts
What point did you know that you were made for show business? When you go way, way back and you reflect on your childhood, is there an epiphany?
Lily Reinhart
I mean, I did. I would force my family to watch me perform. Where are you Christmas from the Grinch for them. So I was like Cindy Lou who performing for them. And they would just have to listen. Like you just are gonna sit on the couch in the living room and listen to me. It's weird because I was a little bit shy, but I guess I would love to sing and do little. I liked to make My family laugh, I think, was more so what I was going for. But then I would also sing. I was just a little theatrical child. And then I went into theater. But yeah, I was performing for my family.
Lauren Everts
And did your parents know that there was something sparkly?
Lily Reinhart
I don't think until I started doing actual community theater. And then it was like the parents of the other kids or whatever, coming up to my parents and going, your kid's really talented. And I think that was sort of, you know, I think I don't have kids, but I imagine every parent thinks their kid is talented or not. And so to have some other people come up to you and tell you, oh, your kid's actually pretty good at this, I think that was the validation too. For me, it was to pursue my parents never. No one's in show business in my family, so it was kind of just something that I wanted to pursue. And then they were told, hey, yeah, you should go for it.
Michael Bostic
Lauren's dad still thinks she deserves a Grammy. Like, he's still.
Lily Reinhart
And why doesn't she?
Lauren Everts
I think he's delusional. I can really sing. I don't mean to brag. The Little Mermaid.
Lily Reinhart
Oh, yeah, just one's all of the songs.
Lauren Everts
It depends which mood I'm in. But I think I have a real voice.
Michael Bostic
He's listening to this, I promise. He's the perfect example of, like, he fully believes in everything she does, which is amazing.
Lily Reinhart
That's amazing.
Michael Bostic
But it was a bit delusional at times with some of the singing.
Lauren Everts
It was a delusion. What is the background and the grit and the behind the scenes before you quote, unquote, make it?
Lily Reinhart
Oh, a lot of, for me, a lot of anxiety. Well, still today, a lot of anxiety comes with this industry. But I mean, I. I wasn't a. I don't want to say I was a child actor, but I kind of was in the sense that I started pursuing this when I was 11, 12, like theater. And then from theater I went on to pursue. It was like, oh, you know, I'm from Cleveland, so there's only so much you could do there. So I pursued like, modeling was kind of how you got your foot in the door. And then from modeling you would go on auditions. And it was sort of building blocks of performing starting in community theater for me. I mean, I couldn't have done this without my parents and my mother who would drive me from Ohio to New York for auditions, which is an eight hour car ride where I was 13, 14, so I was not driving. And my mom was just booking it the whole way for me. And we would go. She would be driving our blue minivan in New York City, which is a hilarious thought to me. Now every time I'm in New York, I'm like, you couldn't pay me to be driving here. It scares me to be a passenger there. So I can't imagine driving. And my mom would take me. We would use my dad's hotel points from work to, like, book a hotel right outside the city and then drive into the city for an audition. And it was just a lot of that.
Lauren Everts
What was shocking to you when you started to get into the industry, was there things that you just couldn't believe that now maybe feels normal, but at first was jarring.
Lily Reinhart
It's a good question, I guess. Kind of the you all. You think that you're gonna reach a certain point where you feel satisfied or satiated, and then you never do.
Lauren Everts
That's entrepreneurial of you.
Michael Bostic
Sure.
Lily Reinhart
And it's miserable.
Michael Bostic
But is it kind of nice, too, in a way? Because I think that's like, ambition, right?
Lily Reinhart
It's ambition.
Lauren Everts
You've literally said what she just said to me. You think you're gonna reach, like, the top of the mountain and you climb the mountain and there's like, 20 more mountains to climb.
Lily Reinhart
I think that's it.
Lauren Everts
Yeah.
Lily Reinhart
And I. Go ahead.
Michael Bostic
No, no, no. I just. I've always found, like, I remember I was sitting around one time, and I just thought it was strange that some people's ambition is to work so hard for so long that so one day you can basically just stay in the same place comfortably.
Lauren Everts
Yeah.
Michael Bostic
Does that make sense?
Lily Reinhart
It does make sense.
Michael Bostic
And I think when I started thinking that way, I'm like, oh, that's strange. And so then when you make peace with that, you're like, okay, I'm just never going to be comfortable. And I'm always just going to be going.
Lily Reinhart
Yeah. I mean, I would pray for myself that I don't get there. But it is. It's sort of the nature of the beast. And I think, yes, in this industry, but in every industry, if you're super ambitious and if you have anxiety, that kind of boosts the ambition can be a good thing. But also, I think it can kind of hurt me in the sense that I reach a point that is, you know, successful, and then I want more, or it's not even that I want more. I just, like, I'm aspiring to keep going and to pursue different things and, like, reach a different point in my acting career. It's always sort of like. And I imagine, you know, you know, they tell people, they're like, don't try to win an Oscar in your 20s, because then what do you do for the rest of your career? But I'm like, but I'm sure winning an Oscar in your 20s would be sick. But like, you know, but yeah, the pressure of what do you do if you achieve everything in a short amount of time and then you have to keep going? And so I kind of give myself grace with that idea because I do feel this industry perpetuates this idea that you need to do things quickly while you're young especially. And, you know, I'm 28 in the way that I think about my age in my head, I feel is very unhealthy because of what my industry has taught me is that I'm in my prime. And if I'm not in the prime of my career right now that I'm failing.
Lauren Everts
I'm reading Lucy Oval's book and she says that in her day you were out of your prime at 25.
Lily Reinhart
That's horrifying.
Lauren Everts
But I also feel, can you imagine that? I mean, for like, I feel like for our generation, they try to like manipulate like maybe 30, 35, maybe 40. Yeah, hers was 20, if it makes.
Michael Bostic
You feel any better.
Lily Reinhart
Yeah, that is sick.
Michael Bostic
I'm a decade older than you and I feel like I'm just getting warmed up.
Lily Reinhart
Well, that's great.
Lauren Everts
But what she's saying is her industry is it's different than your industry. Like as a woman, there's a pressure in the acting world that if you're not a certain age, like you're disposable.
Michael Bostic
Sure. But different.
Lauren Everts
And I know I totally. We've interviewed all different kinds of, you know, well known people that have said that too. They feel like you feel like once you reach a certain age, there's like an undertone, it's getting better.
Lily Reinhart
I think it's getting better. But it's also like, it's so hard in general just to even get your foot in the door of this industry. And then it's also incredibly hard to continue to level up in this industry. So you find, you know, a lot of people, if they're, if they start off in this career doing one thing, they continue doing that one thing, whether it's a genre or a type of like television show or, you know what I'm saying, like the step before they reach, you know what, you know, I don't want to give. I mean, we all are just Trying to level up, quote, unquote.
Lauren Everts
Yeah.
Lily Reinhart
And I think as an actor, that's like stepping into more prestige film, for example, from like, I was on a teen, you know, young adult television show. And you think the level up is going into more like a prestige film career.
Lauren Everts
You feel like you have to evolve.
Lily Reinhart
Yeah. You always have to evolve. And to get that for me to get that kind of satisfaction. And I have had many a conversation with myself and my partner and my mom, and it's sort of like if I continue to look at my career and my life that way, I think I will be miserable forever. And this is like, something that I've very much been dealing with very presently, but also just the last few years of my life. If I. If I continue to think about my career as something that I always need to be, you know, getting, like, not getting better, because we all want to get better with what we do, but that I need to, like, outdo myself or outdo others or continue to climb this ladder that literally will never have a top to it. I will be miserable. And so I need to reframe how I think about my life and my career, because I think my whole 20s, I was on Riverdale and was experiencing fame and how kind of crazy that is to experience in your 20s, but then how you step out of that and people expect something of you. They expect you to keep going and do this and do that and make these similar moves to your peers and everyone. You cannot compare two careers, truly, everyone has such a different trajectory. And I think comparison is such. Is so evil and awful that I've really tried to step away lately from social media as much as I can because of it. Because I feel that it's having such a negative impact on how I view myself and my progress because I'm measuring it against others, and that's so just not. That's what's going to keep me in misery is if I'm comparing my success to someone else's success. It's like the person's a different human being and living a different life than I am. I will be truly stuck in misery if I allow myself to compare the success that I have to someone else's when we're two different humans. And I think. And I know I will be much happier if I view my career as a part of my life rather than my whole life, because I think I'm 28, but so far in my 20s, my career really has been my whole life. And I think that's what has contributed to a Lot of anxiety and depression. And I would like to be happy.
Michael Bostic
In my 30s, very self aware and honest.
Lily Reinhart
Yeah, thanks.
Michael Bostic
Like a lot of people don't have that self awareness and they're not honest with themselves about the things that are, I guess stealing joy from them.
Lily Reinhart
Sure, Right.
Lauren Everts
I will tell you, I at your age was very similar with achieving, achieving, achieving, achieving and something that's helped. This doesn't work for everyone. It worked for me is having children. It kind of like level sets you a little bit. I can't explain it. It balances you and it sort of recalibrates what's important exactly through their eyes. It's interesting, but also something that really helped me and I'll DM it to you after this episode is Tony Robbins theory on the art of achievement. No, the science of achievement and the art of fulfillment. Okay, so you're talking about the science of achievement. And if you look at his theory on the art of fulfillment that balances the leveler.
Lily Reinhart
I see what you're saying.
Lauren Everts
I would look into that's like what I have found has helped me balance that.
Michael Bostic
But also, and we've talked about this on the show for years. Have you heard of experience stretching? Stretching, experience stretching.
Lily Reinhart
No.
Lauren Everts
This is Michael's like favorite.
Michael Bostic
It's not my thing and I can't remember Settle in. It's not.
Lily Reinhart
I'm settled. I'm settled. No, I'm settled.
Michael Bostic
I'll do it real quick. And it's not mine, but I heard it once and it clicked for me. Cause I used to also be achieve, achieve, achieve and still have ambition. But I've just been able to kind of look at it differently. And experience stretching is essentially like say.
Lauren Everts
You go and win an Oscar at 20.
Michael Bostic
No, no, no, I'll get to that. But say I'll give you a different example. Say you go and you could never afford a vacation before. And one day you get to go on this vacation. You're sitting in a beautiful hotel and you're looking at a sunset like, this is the best life can ever get. A year later you go back, but now you're not in that same hotel. But now you're in a hotel suite and you have champagne and you're like, this is the best it can ever get. And a year later you're like, okay, now you're not in a suite. You're like you're on a yacht. This is the best can ever get. And then the fourth year you go and you stay in the same room that you stayed in the first time. You look at the same sunset like, this is the most miserable I've ever been. It's like the thing that used to make you the happiest now makes you miserable. And that's what happens with people that achieve a lot. And stretches like, you're stretching the experience so far. But even the greatest thing that at one time gave you so much happiness now makes you miserable. And so, in a career example, you could have a great year where you get all these gigs and you do great performances and you, you know, make a great income. And then the next year, maybe it's like, not that it's like, it's still a job, but it's not what the prestige level.
Lily Reinhart
Yeah.
Michael Bostic
And it's like, years ago you would. That's what you were aspiring to, and now it makes you miserable. And so it's just like a perspective shift where a lot of times, like, success breeds misery. If you don't have the perspective of saying, like, okay, this is still amazing, and you've accomplished a lot at 28.
Lily Reinhart
Yeah. There's a book that my therapist had suggested to me that I'm listening to on audible, and it's called the Gap and the Gain. And it's basically. Do you know that? Okay, I don't know the author off the top of my head, but it's basically how we measure ourselves against what we don't have versus how much, how far we've come. So living in the gap is basically saying, well, I don't have this yet. But living in the Gain is saying, well, look how far I've come and look at what I've achieved. And I very much live in the gap presently, where I'm like, oh, but I have this much to do, rather than thinking, oh, but I've done so much in my life, and I've achieved so much that I'm so proud of. I don't sit in that moment and be present and happy with that. I go, no, we need to do that. And I'm measuring my own success against what I don't have, which is, you know, creating a sense of lack and to live in a sense of lack in a time where I feel incredibly privileged to do what I do and to have the things that I have. It's just a moment of me knocking on my own head saying, let's stop with the comparison against the other people in my own field and things like that, and be thankful for what? When I was 12, I never in my life thought that I would actually be a working actor and have the opportunities that I have and create a brand and get to talk and meet with all these people. Like, I just didn't think that that was possible, but I'm living that. That idea that I didn't think was possible when I was 12. So remembering that rather than thinking, oh, but I have so much further to go is. Is the goal.
Michael Bostic
I think it's like that's why people look sometimes and they're so shocked by what on the outside looks like. The most successful people being so miserable.
Lily Reinhart
Absolutely.
Michael Bostic
Like, how could that person be unhappy when they have all the things. It's because this is just human nature, you know, you. No matter how much you achieve your old. What is an evolution? He says desire is a contract you make with yourself to be miserable till you get what you want.
Lily Reinhart
That sounds about right. I'm trying not to live that way.
Michael Bostic
But I mean, it just comes with, I think, time and experience. I mean, both of us, same with us. Like, everybody's trying to figure that out.
Lauren Everts
I will tell you, though, I think it's so important that you're vocalizing this while you're in it, because most people wait until this chapter is over to then talk about it.
Lily Reinhart
Yeah. Do you know what I mean?
Lauren Everts
Like, you're in it.
Lily Reinhart
Yeah.
Lauren Everts
And I think for someone with 23 million Instagram followers and all of these accolades and your, Your product line and all these things that you're doing, to be able to say this out loud is, to me, really refreshing.
Lily Reinhart
It's.
Lauren Everts
It's like, it's. It's. I mean, for lack of a better word, it's real.
Lily Reinhart
Yeah.
Lauren Everts
And most people, they do wait until the, the, the chapter shit is over. You know what I mean? So I think, like, walking yourself through this in real time is probably very nice for the people that follow you.
Lily Reinhart
I always try to be. I never. I'm not here to put on. It's my job to put on a show for people. So I think in my real life, I don't have a poker face and I can't bullshit anyone. I just don't have the energy to do it, quite honestly. It's like, I just don't. I'm not a high oct. I don't have a lot of energy in general, so I'm like. That takes a lot of energy to, like, put on a facade or to pretend. And sometimes you have to do it. If you're going through something personal and you have to push through, which I've had to do many times. But as we all do, we have to show up for work even when we don't feel like it. But I think when I do have moments, like, what better time than to when I'm sitting down for an hour to talk about my life and my life experience, to just be honest, which is. Yeah, I'm very much in this point of my life where I'm struggling with this concept of trying to just be happy and satisfied with what I've built for myself rather than comparing myself to everyone else.
Lauren Everts
I got off TikTok. I'm on TikTok, but I don't go on TikTok for the last three months. And it's life changing. This is so weird. But I had this, like, energetic vibe that TikTok when I would watch it. And I'm sure everyone feels like this sort of made you feel like you were in a daze and by the time you were done watching it, you didn't know what you watched.
Lily Reinhart
Sure.
Lauren Everts
Then I thought about it and I'm like, oh, my God. My friend and I were talking and she's like, lauren, it's like, tick tock, tick tock.
Lily Reinhart
Like a clock.
Lauren Everts
That's exactly how you feel when you're on that app. It's like someone's hypnotizing you.
Lily Reinhart
Yeah.
Lauren Everts
I swear to God, that whole app is designed to put you in a. In a subconscious. No, especially this one, though. Michael, you don't watch it like other people do. Michael does X.
Lily Reinhart
Okay. Yeah, I just got off that one.
Lauren Everts
Yeah, he does. I don't go on that one because that's. If you're gonna watch X every single day. I hate to break it to you. You're consuming the news all day long for sure. I don't want that in my ether, for sure. But TikTok is like, oh, yeah, TikTok's much better. Yeah. I'm saying I got off. I can't. I don't want to do it. It's a waste.
Lily Reinhart
It's good for the add, which I have, but it's also horrendous for it.
Lauren Everts
Because Instagram doesn't feel the same. Am I right?
Lily Reinhart
I actually don't like Instagram.
Lauren Everts
You don't like.
Lily Reinhart
I. I like Tik Tok, actually, because I have curated my. Well, right now my for you page is literally just wicked clips, which is great. And I'm not complaining. But, like, usually you can curate, like, if you like one video on Tik Tok about spirituality, your entire for you page becomes about that specific thing.
Michael Bostic
What's your for you page?
Lily Reinhart
Look at that.
Lauren Everts
I Didn't know to like it.
Michael Bostic
Show me your algorithm.
Lily Reinhart
Yeah, you have to like it.
Lauren Everts
It's. I wish I could just make it Louise Hay.
Michael Bostic
You probably could.
Lauren Everts
That's what I would like. Maybe my phone's nice.
Michael Bostic
I heard you're allowed to reset the algorithm.
Lauren Everts
So maybe I'll go like Louise Hay's stuff.
Lily Reinhart
Sure. And then you'll just. Literally, you will just see that mostly.
Lauren Everts
That is amazing.
Lily Reinhart
So my TikTok actually feels like quite a safe space for me because you curate your for your page in a way that you're seeing the stuff that you. I'm like, I'm happy. I go on TikTok and I watch all these behind the scenes clips of Wicked. Yay. I'm happy about that. I love to see Cynthia and Ari, like holding each other's fingers and crying. I think that's very sweet.
Lauren Everts
Do I need to take my 4 year old to see Wicked or is it too much?
Lily Reinhart
Oh, I don't know. About a four year old.
Lauren Everts
Too little.
Lily Reinhart
I'm.
Michael Bostic
What is Wicked, Goddaughter.
Lily Reinhart
What is Wicked?
Lauren Everts
Keep up, Michael.
Michael Bostic
I have no idea what Wicked is.
Lauren Everts
Mauricio dressed as a witch.
Michael Bostic
Isn't the Wicked the Wicked Witch of the West?
Lauren Everts
Isn't there a witch in it?
Michael Bostic
I don't know what it is.
Lauren Everts
I've never seen it.
Lily Reinhart
You both.
Lauren Everts
No, no, no, I've never seen it.
Michael Bostic
My algorithm is Wicked.
Lauren Everts
No, no, no, guys, I'm not watching Wicked.
Michael Bostic
My algorithm's a little different, I think.
Lily Reinhart
What is. Do you know who Ariana Grande is? But how do you know who she is and not know what w. I've.
Lauren Everts
Just never seen it.
Lily Reinhart
Yes.
Lauren Everts
Okay, do I need to see it?
Michael Bostic
Is this one of those moments where I'm gonna get shit on you?
Lauren Everts
Wait, you don't know what Wicked is?
Michael Bostic
I don't know. I know the Wicked Witch of the.
Lauren Everts
West and I don't know.
Lily Reinhart
He doesn't know what Wicked Witch it is originated. Wicked is a musical that I believe came out.
Michael Bostic
We just watched the wizard of oz with our 4 year old.
Lauren Everts
No, it's not the wizard of Oz.
Lily Reinhart
But it is of the same origin.
Michael Bostic
Oh, it's an origin story of the.
Lily Reinhart
Wicked Witch of the west, sure, yeah, in a sense.
Michael Bostic
Okay, I'll keep quick.
Lily Reinhart
So Wicked was a Broadway musical. Kristin Chenoweth and Idina Menzel were our originating these characters of Glinda and Elphaba, the Wicked Witch.
Michael Bostic
Glinda's the nice witch.
Lily Reinhart
Well, okay, this is where we get into Wicked. Some conspiracies.
Michael Bostic
Oh, is this One of those stories. Wait, hold on, hold on. Let me, let me. The story is the witch didn't start out mean. And then a nice one who really is not. And then she makes.
Lauren Everts
This is worse than TikTok.
Michael Bostic
Then she makes the one mean because she was mean. Is that what it is?
Lily Reinhart
It's sure. Along those lines. No, but the movie. So it was a musical, but the movie just came out with Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande playing Glinda and Elphaba the good. Technically, what they say, the good witch and the bad witch, whatever. Pink and green. There's a lot of pink and green going on in the world right now with the green witch. And then like Glinda wears pink and she's like pink everything.
Michael Bostic
So they're vilifying the good witch. No.
Lily Reinhart
Well, if you watch the story, you're kind of. It's the undertone.
Lauren Everts
Basically, she's saying, watch it.
Lily Reinhart
It's a beautiful.
Michael Bostic
You know what would be more concerning to you, though? And I say this to a lot of the women that come on the show. Not to be. But what if I was like. If I knew everything.
Lily Reinhart
No. And I was like, I'd be thrilled for you.
Michael Bostic
And I was like. And I knew all the like, trivia. What is this?
Lily Reinhart
I would be impressed.
Michael Bostic
I know. But also like, whoa, this guy. You know?
Lily Reinhart
Oof.
Lauren Everts
Here I would say let's move to.
Michael Bostic
The next topic because I'm not gonna be able to keep up much longer.
Lily Reinhart
I say go see Wicked. I think it's really cool. It's rated pg. No.
Michael Bostic
Okay.
Lily Reinhart
I did not.
Lauren Everts
So maybe I can take my daughter.
Michael Bostic
We'll take our daughter to.
Lily Reinhart
Oh, it's pg. It's two and a half hours.
Michael Bostic
Oh, well.
Lily Reinhart
But it for me flew by.
Lauren Everts
Okay.
Lily Reinhart
It depends how your daughter does it.
Lauren Everts
Sounds like you just love like cinema.
Lily Reinhart
I was a theater kid, so I appreciate theater. I saw Wicked when I was like 10 in Cleveland with my best friend. And then we went and saw the movie together. So it was very sweet because it was musical on Broadway, but it's good.
Lauren Everts
What do you do? This is like just a random question. What do you do when someone is so associated you with a character that they want it to seep into your real life? Do you get that a lot?
Lily Reinhart
They'll just be disappointed.
Lauren Everts
Okay.
Lily Reinhart
Because I'm.
Lauren Everts
You're not like any of your characters. Which one do you relate to the most?
Lily Reinhart
Oh, God, I don't know about that.
Lauren Everts
None.
Lily Reinhart
I don't know. I don't know. I think people associate me often the most with Betty Cooper from Riverdale. Obviously that's what a lot of people know me as.
Lauren Everts
And you don't relate to her?
Lily Reinhart
No, I do. She's definitely. She has a lot more energy than I do. I think I'm just a lot more. I haven't. I don't know character wise who I relate to the most. I just, I've played a lot of maybe characters who have a lot more energy in general and I'm just kind of a more. I like to sit on my couch and that's about it. So you're a rotter anytime. Yeah, that's okay. And you know what it is coming back to TikTok is like for me, I'm like, oh, I can't wait till the end of the day when I can sit and watch my. Watch TikTok for an hour. This is honest because I'm like, you know what it is? And it's sad, but it's the dopamine hit and we are in a dopamine epidemic. Well, yeah. With our world and we. So I guess. Is that a pandemic?
Lauren Everts
No.
Michael Bostic
Epidemic. Right.
Lauren Everts
I think this is important that a 28 year old is saying this because this is the residual of how much the phone has been in everything part of the generation. I think it's very, very self aware like you said.
Michael Bostic
Well, especially because of the line of work and the career that you're in. Right. To be thoughtful and aware of. I mean Lauren and I, I was looking at this meme the other day and we. It was like kids born between 87 and 91 with the last cusp to. We went through high school and college without social media and we got basically like smartphones which was like the ones with the screens and everything.
Lauren Everts
We also had a buggy and a horse carriage like if you go on.
Michael Bostic
Facebook and hopefully it's been deactivated. You could see like my college nights out with 100 photos from the same night.
Lauren Everts
Yikes.
Michael Bostic
But anyways, we were like on the cusp and so your generation has really had to grow up as the first test subjects to figure out what it's like to come up with these things.
Lily Reinhart
You don't have the rise of add, we are the rise of that.
Lauren Everts
What are some tools that you use to help with anxiety to help alleviate it?
Lily Reinhart
Well, I've recently started to be very much. I try to be very aware of. I've heard one. I don't know, I'm like. I've heard one source call it popcorn scrolling which is where you Pick up your phone just when you have nothing else to do just to look at. And it's like when you're walking from your couch to the bathroom, you look at your phone and that's like what, 10 seconds of time or however, whatever. And using your phone as just to fill the void for such small moments of time is really so bad for your brain. So I've been trying to just like that's a small step to take, you know, to be like, okay, I'm not gonna bring my phone to the bathroom while I pee for a minute. You know, I'm not going to look at my phone when I walk up the stairs or when I'm in the elevator. I was like proud of myself for not looking at my phone on a 20 minute drive home where I was in the backseat. I was like applauding myself. Which is insane because we should be able to not look at our phones for long extended periods of time, which you know, we do. And obviously we're in the movie theater. Well, not some people. Some people are annoying and scrolling on their phones.
Lauren Everts
I like to drop my kids off at school. I like to have a go to uniform. I don't want to be switching it up. I like to keep it simple. I don't want a lot of print. I want something warm. It's detailed. And there's a cloud fleece half zip that I've been wearing a lot. It's from this brand. Travis Matthew. I actually got it in a baby blue and a black. I sized up and got a medium and it looks so cute with leggings or a bodysuit. I'll throw on my ugg boots and I'm out the door, ready to go. They also have a lot of good basics that are simple. They have a gift guide. They have stuff under a hundred dollars, under fifty dollars. But if you're going to go on the site you have to check out this cloud fleece half zip up. Okay. It's a good one and it's just classic. It's a classic Nantucket esque zip up. And I don't know about you but I feel like it's really, really flattering. There's something about a zip up. I feel very like mom but cool in the zip up. Go on and look at it. It's very cute. This makes total sense because Travis Matthew is apparel designed for confidence and comfort no matter where the day takes you. And my day takes me from my kids school to working out to the office to picking them up, from school to baking cookies. To then going back to the office all the time. And so I need something that I can just throw on that's warm because it's cold right now in Austin. But I also want simple. I don't want something that's super crazy. Consider Travis Matthew your holiday headquarters and discover the perfect gift for everyone on your list. Visit travismathieu.com and receive 20% off your order with code skinny. That's travismathew.com code skinny. Every single night, I spray my lavender magnesium spray on my skin. It's so nice, it goes straight into my bloodstream and it's such a nice way to wind down. And then I put my heated lavender neck pillow on top and it's a real dream, especially when you're on your period. Telling you that's the mixture. Little magnesium spray on the stomach with the weighted neck pillow.
Lily Reinhart
That's it.
Lauren Everts
Okay. It's by Symbiotica. You guys know, if you've been following us, that we're huge Symbiotica supplement fans. I use their glutathione, their magnesium, and also their vitamin C every single day without fail. I like the glutathione if I'm drinking alcohol. I like the magnesium every day because so many of us are low on magnesium. And then I like the vitamin C and water, so I'll add like collagen in there, sometimes some electrolytes, put my vitamin C, froth it up and drink it down. It's delicious. Symbiotica. The reason I'm such a fan and the reason I've had the founder on like five times is because their supplements contain no fillers or harmful ingredients. They're all made with super, super purposeful intention. Everything's formulated with the highest quality ingredients, so there's no seed oil, preservatives, toxins, artificial additive, natural flavor. So you don't have to worry about all this that's in so many supplements. Most of their products are liposomal delivery, which means your body can absorb the nutrients much faster and more effectively than traditional pills. Start your Symbiotica subscription today. You can save 15% off your order with our Code Skinny. Just go to symbiotica.com theskinny and use code Skinny on your subscription order.
Michael Bostic
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Lauren Everts
I think people, they want the distraction to distract from their own life. And there's also sort of a fear of missing out. Like if you don't know what the. If you don't have your finger on the pulse, you're left out.
Michael Bostic
Next thing you know, you don't know about Wicked and you're just, I don't.
Lily Reinhart
Know how you don't know about Wicked is like the largest marketing campaign of modern times.
Michael Bostic
Because I just, like, I was talking about this on the way over here. What's crazy about the Internet is like there are things that are so big and so popular and this exists for people too, but it's so big and so vast, depending on what's being served to you or not, that, like, I guarantee if I brought up some crazy thing that's popular in some other area and you guys, I think I would.
Lauren Everts
Know, unfortunately, bring up something.
Lily Reinhart
I'm like, way too chronic now.
Michael Bostic
We're going to talk about Bitcoin.
Lily Reinhart
Okay. I don't know a lot about it.
Michael Bostic
Yeah, but my point is you talked.
Lauren Everts
About it the whole way over anyways.
Michael Bostic
I just think that there's so much information being thrown at us all the time. Like, how, what are you supposed to even keep Track of in your head. That's why we got rid of the news a long time ago. We just got in it.
Lauren Everts
People like, didn't get rid of the news. If you look at X every day, let's be aware.
Lily Reinhart
Okay.
Michael Bostic
We got.
Lauren Everts
You are waking up and staring at X. You are looking at everything that's happening. It's the same thing. It's a different format. Yeah, I don't watch TikTok anymore.
Michael Bostic
If you got rid. We got rid of cable media. When? When? During the pandemic. And people were like, what? Up in arms? Like, how are you gonna get informed? I'm like, there's. There is no problem finding information. Like, it's too much information.
Lauren Everts
I think like what you're saying about your phone having boundaries. Like you said, like, I got off the phone on 20 minutes. I don't take my phone to the bathroom. Which by the way, if you're taking your phone to your bathroom, you're probably getting fecal matter all over your phone and pee drop a thousand percent. It's pretty gross. Like if.
Lily Reinhart
Close the lid when you flush. Especially if your tooth, your phone is round.
Lauren Everts
Your phone probably needs a good cleanse. Use some branch basics, code skinny. But I just think if you have the thoughtfulness to have the boundary, it's important. Michael and I have different theories about waking up to the phone.
Lily Reinhart
Yes.
Lauren Everts
I won't touch my phone for two hours.
Lily Reinhart
Wow.
Lauren Everts
I don't want to look at it, but I. It's almost like I find it disgusting in the morning.
Lily Reinhart
It's impressive.
Lauren Everts
It's ruining my. My flow.
Lily Reinhart
Couldn't agree more. Couldn't agree more.
Lauren Everts
And he likes to wake up and look at it. Which is.
Michael Bostic
It doesn't. I don't know. It doesn't with my flow.
Lauren Everts
Just like, how do you know?
Lily Reinhart
I. I would love to not look at my phone for two. Well, what time are you waking up?
Lauren Everts
Seven.
Lily Reinhart
Okay. Well, that's okay. I feel like if I were to not look at my phone for two hours, I would come back to 100 text messages and be very overwhelmed.
Lauren Everts
Okay, so let me ask you this. When you wake up, do you go and respond to the text messages?
Lily Reinhart
Well, so my dog usually wakes me up. Annoyingly these days he woke me up at 2am to go out. Yeah. But I don't know why he's in this weird habit of waking me up at 2am but he usually wakes me up at like 7, 7:30. And I'll go let him out. I won't touch my phone. I won't Bring my phone downstairs with me. I'll let him out. But then I go back to bed. Usually if I can. If I can't, then I'm like, okay. Then I pick up the phone. But I've created more boundaries with myself where I'm like, I don't need to answer someone immediately. It's this anxiety part of me. If I see a message, I answer it right away. I want to be prompt. I want to get back to that person. But I kind of found that in doing that, I was crossing my own boundaries of, oh, I actually don't want to be on my phone right now, or I'm actually taking on too much at one time. So I started being, you know, just being more aware of, oh, I can. That person can wait a few hours, like, it's not going to kill them. I can give myself also some space to get back to them instead of trying to rush and answer people immediately.
Lauren Everts
I think that's great. I think anyone that expects to come into your personal space on your time and take your time better not expect an answer right back. They're asking for your time and you responding, like, right away, like you said, like you. You used to. Is reactive. It's not proactive. Also, sometimes you have to think about the answer. Sure. I changed my number.
Lily Reinhart
Smart.
Lauren Everts
You know what? Changed it to 40 people.
Lily Reinhart
Wow.
Michael Bostic
That's it. And then everyone messaged me, and now it's, what's your number?
Lauren Everts
You don't respond, so that's fine.
Michael Bostic
I was gonna ask you.
Lauren Everts
There's different ways to do it. He just doesn't respond well.
Michael Bostic
Well, I was gonna ask you, were you anxious as a kid?
Lily Reinhart
Very.
Michael Bostic
Why?
Lily Reinhart
I had a weird homebody attachment. Like, I want. I wanted to be home. I didn't do good at sleepovers. I was attached to my mom. I wanted to be at home. I felt safe there. I had social anxiety. So I just kind of always never felt super comfortable going to even, like, birthday parties as a kid. And that was kind of a weird signal to my mom, like, okay, my kid, I think, has some social anxiety going on. And then it just kind of got unfortunately worse as I went.
Michael Bostic
Were you, like, a people pleaser?
Lily Reinhart
No, it's.
Michael Bostic
No.
Lily Reinhart
No.
Michael Bostic
That was interesting because when you were talking about feeling this need to get back to people, I think it's just.
Lily Reinhart
Anxiety because I would rather deal with it now than give it to, like, my future self.
Lauren Everts
I think it's a pressure she puts on herself for achievement. It's like she wants to. I. I understand that. You want to get back to people prompt. You want to be professional. It's. I mean, I understand that.
Michael Bostic
Well, I think the way I look at text messaging, so I look at phone calls out of the blue are just wild.
Lily Reinhart
I never. Will never answer. My friends, my family now, do not call me. And if you're calling me, if someone.
Lauren Everts
Was murdered, call me in the morning.
Lily Reinhart
Well, I'm like, literally, I know when my phone is ringing from my mother. I'm being told bad news. Like, I do not. Cause we literally. I just don't. I don't talk on the phone. I FaceTime, like, every now and then, which is even asking a lot.
Michael Bostic
Then I think a text message, you have to, like, if I'm sending a text, my perspective is I'm sending it to somebody that will choose on their time when to get back. And then an email, I think is like a professional.
Lauren Everts
That's nice. You're the only one in the world that feels like that.
Michael Bostic
No, because. Well, text is wild because you're just supposed to, like, you know, they just.
Lauren Everts
I have a friend that does question mark, question mark, question question mark until I answer.
Lily Reinhart
Like, how many unread texts do you have?
Lauren Everts
Yeah, let's look at yours, too.
Lily Reinhart
Mine?
Michael Bostic
201.
Lily Reinhart
Okay. I know off the top of my head, I have five unread. Five.
Lauren Everts
Okay, yeah, what do I have?
Michael Bostic
But I cleared this. So what? Because It's.
Lauren Everts
I have 35, I think. I don't answer, though.
Michael Bostic
We've talked about this on the show. How am I supposed to get back to 201 messages that.
Lily Reinhart
You're too far gone, my friend.
Michael Bostic
You know what I do once, like, every few weeks, I go in and do a mass delete.
Lily Reinhart
Just delete.
Michael Bostic
Just delete. Don't read. And I figure if it's important, it'll somehow get.
Lily Reinhart
Never to be seen again. Never to be seen is four messages. Like, how is the. How far back does, like, the 200th one.
Michael Bostic
No, I do, like, once a week, I go mass delete.
Lily Reinhart
So these are just from a week?
Michael Bostic
Yeah, because Lauren changed her number, so everybody. I got mine.
Lauren Everts
I also don't answer my husband's text. I don't like to answer his texts. I like to, like, make him, you know, squirm. Yeah. Yes, Squirmity.
Michael Bostic
But, you know, I do have text messages that I put in the little bubble in the top that are, like, the, you know, like the pinned ones. Okay, I'll get back. But sometimes if it's just.
Lily Reinhart
I don't have that problem.
Lauren Everts
I don't I'm doing a tangent switch.
Michael Bostic
I'm going to change my number that.
Lauren Everts
I just saw on yours.
Lily Reinhart
Give them my number.
Lauren Everts
Yeah, give them someone else.
Michael Bostic
Give me your number after this.
Lily Reinhart
I need it for sure.
Lauren Everts
2018, at Glamour's Woman of the Year summit, you talked about body image. And this is really interesting what you said. We aren't born with these insecurities. We're told to be insecure. Does that have to do with social media? Can you expand on that?
Lily Reinhart
I mean, we grew up in the time of People magazine and, you know, seeing at the newsstand, at the grocery store, pictures of celebrities without makeup on with the headline like, ugly. And that's just absolutely insane. And, you know, I would grow up watching America's Next Top Model with my sister and watching them stand on a scale in front of everyone else and say their weights out loud. And, you know, if someone was a certain weight, everyone would be like, ooh, that's not good.
Lauren Everts
Is that true? I didn't watch.
Lily Reinhart
That was absolutely. In one of the episodes. I remember it, yes. Because I remember, I think it was One woman weighed 130 pounds and everyone was like, not good. It was like she was immediately in the plus size category, which is the craziest thing I've ever heard in my life, genuinely. And I think I was, what, watching that when I was 13. So I was seeing these parameters that I had to be in. I was like, you know, I didn't want to be a model, but I was seeing these just like, oh, this is what women are supposed to. Okay, so I need to fit in that. I need to fit in this category. I need to look like that. I need to make sure, like, they were absolutely. Like, they would have people be like, your skin looks like shit. Get it fixed. Like, it was just like they were. Everything was torn apart about these women. And I was watching this on, like a Thursday night with my sister, just downloading these ideas into my brain, and I think, I don't. I mean, I don't know. These cultures that exist on Planet Earth that don't watch television, I'm sure they're not dealing with body image issues. Maybe, maybe. I don't know, but I don't think so because I think it's born and bred in this. Well, when you think about, like, even, well, magazines and, like, newspapers in the 50s or whatever, selling diet pills for women, like, it's kind of just always been. If you have mass media in a culture, sure it's gonna shove the idea down your throat.
Lauren Everts
That you need to be. Now it's ozempic.
Lily Reinhart
Now it's ozempic. And it's. I mean, my entire TikTok. And I don't know why, because I'm not engaging with these ads. I'm not liking them. It's all digestive enzymes and it's every other ad I'm seeing as a woman being like I can eat whatever I want and look as thin as I, you know, whatever, because. And then, you know, they're selling on their little TikTok. Digestive enzymes are like this stupid tea that I'm sure doesn't work. I just am. I just can't believe like the week of Thanksgiving I'm looking at my phone and TikTok and just seeing these ads for how to stay skinny. How to stay skinny. And I just can't believe. And I was gonna maybe I have to pick and choose my battles but I was gonna maybe post a little TikTok or at least like a story being like, I can't believe how every other ad I'm seeing on this app is telling me how to lose weight or how to stay skinny. And that's all. You know. These have 30,000 likes and women I'm sure are buying them left and right. Because if you tell someone this is gonna make you skinny in two seconds, you're gonna fool a lot of people.
Lauren Everts
But it's probably American, 76%. What happens when everyone's doing it?
Lily Reinhart
Then the body trend will change.
Lauren Everts
I bet we went to this because.
Lily Reinhart
Then they'll not want to be a part of the mass. They'll want to be like, oh no, we need to accentuate curves now again and make that more on trend because that will separate me from the masses. Once it becomes a mass thing and the masses have access to it, it will shift.
Michael Bostic
We went to this. Do you know who Brian Johnson is?
Lily Reinhart
Sounds so familiar.
Michael Bostic
The guy that's trying to live forever.
Lily Reinhart
Oh, that guy.
Michael Bostic
Scary. He's been on shredded. He's actually a friend.
Lily Reinhart
Sorry, sorry.
Michael Bostic
If you met him, you'd like him.
Lily Reinhart
The idea of living forever is scary to me.
Michael Bostic
So we went to a dinner at his house. Hopefully Brian's okay. I don't live forever this story. But he basically one of the questions he asked at this like it was like this intimate dinner table where it's like a Jeffersonian style dinner and you have to basically like someone asks a question and then everyone around the table waits in respons and everyone listens to each other. It's very nice actually. But he was saying if there was an algorithm that existed that if you followed it, it would give you perfect. Like, meaning, like, you'd be perfect in a mental state. You'd be perfect physically. It would give you exactly what you need to do. But you had to follow it to a T. Yeah. Would you do it? Yes or no. And that could include, like, you have to go to bed at 4 o'clock in the morning and you have to eat at. And you had no choice but to follow it. And he asked all the people if they would or not. Yeah, but anyways, all these people at the table were, like, quick to say no.
Lauren Everts
I still say no.
Michael Bostic
But then he gave the example. He's like, well, look how quick people were to adopt a glp One that says, you take a shot here and then you eat it. This time, you do this. And how fast people are adopting. Imagine in the future more of these things coming out and how quickly people will adopt. Like, that's the direction he believes society's moving in. It's like in the future, we're all just gonna be taking all these things and kind of giving up more autonomy.
Lauren Everts
And saying, like, come on, what do you think? Is something wild about the entertainment industry? Like, if you could change one thing and wave a wand, I guess it would be.
Lily Reinhart
And I think Denzel Washington just said this about, like, when he was doing his press tour with for Gladiator, he was saying, like, when I was coming up in this industry, we did not have to see the opinions of every person on the fucking planet. And I think if I could change anything, I guess it would be the idea that, like, when you are an actor or a singer in the public eye, you. You're basically raising your hand to be ripped to shreds. And it's very discouraging and it makes me. At times, I've absolutely wanted to quit. I've been like, I actually can't do this anymore and I'm gonna go live on a farm in somewhere else.
Lauren Everts
Would you ever do that?
Lily Reinhart
Possibly.
Lauren Everts
Michelle Pfeiffer and Demi Moore.
Lily Reinhart
I feel like I know Amanda Seyfried lives in a farm somewhere. Like, she. Or maybe not a farm. I don't want to. She lives somewhere not in a populated area for her mental health. And I think I see why. I understand why that only writes really.
Lauren Everts
Kind things to what you said and me as well.
Lily Reinhart
I don't actually deal with this problem personally.
Michael Bostic
Sometimes you only find uplifting positives.
Lauren Everts
Of course, to your point with what you said way early, where you Feel like you do something like Riverdale and then you have to. It's like, what's next? What's next? There's something kind of cool. And I keep talking about this when I'm on the podcast about absence. Absence is underrated.
Lily Reinhart
Absolutely.
Lauren Everts
And it should be used to people's advantage. I don't want to see what someone eats for breakfast seven days a week.
Lily Reinhart
For sure.
Lauren Everts
Hold back a little.
Lily Reinhart
I hear you.
Lauren Everts
A little art of absence goes a long way. And I think, like, that could maybe take the pressure off anyone who's an actress. Like, it feels like it go. I almost feel like I want to be like a cat sometimes and.
Lily Reinhart
Fair enough.
Lauren Everts
Go away.
Lily Reinhart
Yes.
Lauren Everts
Don't think, you know, to die.
Lily Reinhart
But don't you feel they just slightly just to die.
Lauren Everts
Yeah, but. Okay, but you could just go away and then you can come back when it works for you.
Michael Bostic
I had a cat do that. I never found it. It went off.
Lauren Everts
We can't talk about your childhood trauma. This is not about you.
Michael Bostic
It was an 18 year old cat. So it had a good run.
Lauren Everts
Yeah, it had a good run.
Lily Reinhart
Never to be found.
Michael Bostic
No, but that's what they do. They just scurry off and die somewhere.
Lily Reinhart
Okay.
Michael Bostic
They don't want to be found.
Lily Reinhart
Okay. I'm sorry.
Lauren Everts
The art of absence.
Michael Bostic
That's not you, Lauren. You're gonna leave like a whole. We're gonna have a whole thing for you.
Lauren Everts
There's something there, though, to just go away. I agree.
Lily Reinhart
I agree. And I agree. Feel that when I. And I was saying this, like, when I have a show coming out or when I have a movie, or when I'm obviously talking about my skincare line, like, a lot, and I'm more in the public eye. I find that I am a lot more anxious in these periods of my life because I'm more in the public eye. And being in the public eye makes me uncomfortable and usually, like, causes me a lot of stress and unhappiness, to be honest, which is ironic being an actor. But like, when you're on a set working in like a little bubble, it's very different from when you're promoting it. And again, when you're promoting anything, when you guys are putting yourselves out there as these hosts and like releasing your shows, you're putting your face out there. And when you do that, you are literally, like, just saying, here I am. Give me your opinion. Basically, whether you want it or not, people will talk about you, comment about you, say whatever the hell they're gonna say. And that is gonna hurt. A lot of times I feel you see a hundred positive comments and you remember the one really awful one.
Michael Bostic
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Lauren Everts
Have you heard about this app? It comes with a number of features like protein tracking so you can ensure you're getting the right nutrients and fitness classes so you can keep the muscle while losing the fat with their GLP1s. We have had a lot of people on the podcast come on and talk about GLP1s if they're used correctly and Noom delivers them straight to your door. So Noom GLP1 is available. It ships to your door in seven days. It's affordable, it starts at $149 and they support you while you're losing weight so you get the protein tracker. Like I said, you also do fitness classes to build muscle, so it's really assessing the whole solution. When it comes to weight loss, NOOM doesn't just give you access to meds, it helps build healthy habits so you can lose weight and keep it off. And with Noom, you won't be going at it alone, so you get access to a clinician, a coach and a supportive community all within the app on your phone. If you have listened to this podcast and heard some of the positive feedback on GLP1 medication, I think this is a great app to check out. If you're interested in it and you just want to like poke around and see what's out there, this is a good one because you can ask your care team anything and get support while you're losing weight. Noom GLP1 starts at $149 and is delivered to your door in seven days. Start your GLP1 journey today at noom.com that's n o m.com noom the smart way to Lose Weight Disclaimer not all customers will medically qualify for prescription medications. Compounded medications are not reviewed by FDA for safety, efficacy or quality.
Michael Bostic
Everybody starts the new year with big aspirations, big goals. What if one of your goals was to clean up your house without hormone disruptors, chemic all the ways which are holding your health back, your goals back, your aspirations. This is why Lauren and I love talking about Branch Basics. Guys, now is the time. New Year is upon us. We've been harping about Branch Basics for months and years now. So for those of you that are not familiar with Branch Basics, you can clean without compromise. Branch Basics is free of fragrance, hormone disruptors and harmful preservatives that wreak havoc on our health. It's safe enough to use around even your babies and pets, and their premium starter kit replaces all of your harmful cleaning products in the home. Branch Basics now also has a new luxury is gel hand soap made with only the safest ingredients to nourish your skin. Here's the thing. We know there's a healthier, safer alternative when it comes to household cleaning supplies, which is Branch Basics. I can't get past why you wouldn't make the switch. Forget nostalgia, forget using all of these chemicals that we know at this point in time are so harmful for us they disrupt our hormones and switch to something that we know is better for us. That you can feel confident is safe for everyone in the family. We have had Allison, the founder of Branch Basics on this podcast twice. If you haven't listened to those episodes, just search Branch Basics Skinny Confidential. I highly suggest you listen to those episodes. So if you don't, take it from me, take it from her. She's got an incredible story and she's building an incredible brand. Of course we have a special offer for our listeners and viewers save 15% on your starter kit or their new hand soap when you use code skinny@www.branchbasics.com. again, that is code skinny for 15% off when you purchase a starter kit or their new gel hand soap@branchbasics.com.
Lauren Everts
Do you feel like though, because you have such a big following, is there a sense of exposure therapy? Meaning, like you've done it so many times that you're building a muscle that you don't give a fuck anymore? Well, like a comment used to hurt your feelings doesn't hurt your feelings today because you've seen it so many times.
Lily Reinhart
It will roll off my back, I think more than it did when I was 19 and I was very reactive and I was very much like quick to defend myself. I think like, if you're gonna calm me something or accuse me of something or say some shit that's just like hurtful or not true, my 19 year old self was ready to go and to defend and to go to battle and to say that's not true. And unfortunately, me doing that to one person is not going to change the Internet or the world. So I think over time I've just learned like, I can't go to battle with these people because I kind of just look at it like this. If you are, unless it's like, I won't say that, we won't get political, but I'm saying like, I'm like, can we bully one person, just one. But if you are raising your hand and like publicly on a profile, on Facebook, on Instagram, on Twitter, if you are taking time out of your day to type the most obscene, evil, mean spirited comment to someone that you don't fucking know, you are to me literally outing yourself as an incredibly unhappy person. No happy person does that. A person who is happy and confident and like, you know, comfortable in their lives is not on Facebook, fighting with strangers.
Lauren Everts
It's also low vibration. What you give out comes back to.
Lily Reinhart
You a thousand percent vibrate. Like that is. You're, you're showing me the lowest vibrational energy possible, ma'am. Thank you very much.
Michael Bostic
I think that's also like a healthy way to look at it. Because if you look at A person like that, it's hard then to be upset because you almost in a weird way feel empathy that someone's in that. Yes.
Lily Reinhart
But empathy's always gonna. You're like, okay, let's choose empathy and let's choose compassion. Because this person's clearly.
Michael Bostic
I'm like, I'm so sorry for you. What is your home address?
Lily Reinhart
I'm coming over right now to talk to you about. But it's like, yeah, why are you.
Lauren Everts
Why?
Lily Reinhart
I wonder about those people who hide behind an unacknowledged message.
Michael Bostic
You know what, Oscar?
Lauren Everts
Is it Oscar Wilde and March 20th, you acknowledge it. Like they'll immediately apologize.
Michael Bostic
Is it Oscar Wildemar said, I've tried.
Lauren Everts
Really?
Lily Reinhart
Oh, yeah, no, they double down.
Michael Bostic
Well, they're probably 19 looking for a fight. You know what I mean?
Lily Reinhart
Not necessarily.
Lauren Everts
There's that quote that says, yeah, sometimes.
Lily Reinhart
I've had some middle aged men come for me and then double down.
Michael Bostic
Which is always like, middle aged men.
Lily Reinhart
Middle aged men on X. Which is why I deleted X. Taylor.
Michael Bostic
What are you doing back there?
Lauren Everts
Taylor, is that you?
Michael Bostic
No, but they say the only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.
Lauren Everts
Yes. So it's.
Lily Reinhart
Yeah, I think I disagree.
Michael Bostic
But think about it this way. I think we all like, you know, fantasize. Okay, we're gonna go live on a farm and nobody's gonna talk to us. Then you sit on that farm for like a week and be like, all right, this one's kind of.
Lily Reinhart
No, a thousand percent.
Michael Bostic
You'd be bored.
Lauren Everts
You'd be very bored. But like, I like a toe in the farm, a toe out of the farm. I mix for sure. Yeah, a little bit of.
Michael Bostic
I had a buddy that said to me, he's like, listen, Michael, they ain't hating on you. You're not doing it right. And I was like, oh, I don't know if that's good advice or not.
Lily Reinhart
Well, yeah, there's something like, if no successful, you know, what is it? The critics? Something about critics. The problem is, of course, I don't know the quality.
Michael Bostic
If you're somebody that puts yourself out there in any way and shares an opinion of any kind, with conviction behind it, there's no possible way to keep everyone happy. So there's going to be somebody at any given time that's upset.
Lily Reinhart
Absolutely.
Lauren Everts
You mentioned off air spirituality. What does that look like for you? Is it a daily practice? Is it like certain books that you can point to? What are things that you do?
Lily Reinhart
I really. 2020 was like my hub of spirituality because it was the forced inside, forced time with yourself kind of chapter of my life. And I really went inwards and deeply and was working with my therapist and was reading a lot of self help books. And I went on the quest to become a Reiki master.
Lauren Everts
Cool.
Lily Reinhart
And because I was given, had received Reiki a few times from this makeup artist that worked on Riverdale, seasons one and two. And she was. I just thought it was such an incredible thing to be able to like put your hands over someone and transfer, help steer energy into their in and then through their body. And I thought, okay, I'm going through this, you know, 2020 was hard for everyone, I think. And I'm going through, through this hard chapter of my life. I want to pursue this and if I can help heal myself, I'm going to do it. And so I pursued Reiki through. I found two teachers because I lived in my 20s most of the year in Vancouver where I shot Riverdale. And so I found two teachers in Vancouver who taught me over the course of, I think it was two years, Reiki, Reiki level one, Reiki level two. And then my mastery.
Michael Bostic
It was like really tight up there too. Right. It was like full lockdown up there for a year.
Lily Reinhart
I was. Yeah. So for like filming of one season, you would go to Canada, you would quarantine for two weeks and then you were in there for five months. And then I went home. Quarantine?
Lauren Everts
Yeah.
Lily Reinhart
No, I quarantined with two girls from my show.
Lauren Everts
Okay.
Lily Reinhart
At least. No, Yeah, I was not. That would have been horrible. Yeah. But yeah. So spirituality today, I think for me looks a lot like. I still love a good self help book or a spiritual book. And I love, I do like meditation. I'm doing kind of some hypnosis therapy sessions with my therapist. I see my therapist. I have a lot of healers. So I will go do like a session with my healer who lives in Bali, like over zoom. Obviously I'm not flying to Bali. I wish. I can't. I can't take that plunge yet. I'm like, I don't know if I can travel to Bali.
Lauren Everts
It's a lot.
Lily Reinhart
It's like a. It's like two days of travel and I don't know if I can handle it.
Lauren Everts
I bet it's amazingly healing there to do.
Lily Reinhart
I mean.
Lauren Everts
Absolutely. Ceremony.
Lily Reinhart
Well, I would go see her. She comes to Mount Shasta.
Lauren Everts
Okay.
Lily Reinhart
Do you know where that is?
Lauren Everts
No.
Lily Reinhart
It's in Northern California. And it's a very high vibrational, very spiritual place.
Michael Bostic
It's Where Anya had the farm.
Lauren Everts
That's really cool.
Lily Reinhart
It's a really beautiful, special place.
Lauren Everts
I'd like to go there.
Lily Reinhart
And I've gone, I think, four times, and she's. I've gone to see her. And I went and saw her in Sedona, actually, this year in March.
Lauren Everts
That also. That place has, like.
Lily Reinhart
Yeah. Crazy energy.
Lauren Everts
Weird. Weird energy. Cool.
Lily Reinhart
But, like, amazing. I love it.
Lauren Everts
Yeah.
Michael Bostic
The one time I, you know, she was explaining to me Reiki, and I was like, okay, we'll go try this. That tripped me out because I felt like I was there for two minutes, and it was like an hour and a half.
Lauren Everts
Are you ready for this? Reiki flipped my baby. So my baby was breech. I was two weeks into giving birth, and they told me, your baby's breech. Like, we have to. To manually flip it. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no. I'm going to tell my baby to flip. I'm going to, like, I'm going to open space in my stomach and relax so much that the baby has room to flip. And the doctors literally were like, you're crazy.
Michael Bostic
Well, I told her she was crazy, too. Cause I was there.
Lauren Everts
So I went to this girl. She's recommended by my friend Carly. Her name is Sage. She's this amazing energy.
Lily Reinhart
Great name for a weekend. Great master. Great name.
Lauren Everts
She's in Encinita at an acupuncture. Acupuncture center. And she gave me Reiki. And I was laying there. I was. You know how you're asleep but awake?
Lily Reinhart
Like, I never fall asleep, but. Oh, yeah. Like a transcendental sort of like theta brainwave.
Lauren Everts
I felt the baby flip because I was. My nervous system was so relaxed that the baby had room to flip, and I felt the baby flip. Then I went and told Michael the baby flipped. He's like, you're crazy. I said, book an ultrasound tomorrow. The baby was slipped.
Michael Bostic
Yeah. Tripped me out.
Lauren Everts
True story.
Lily Reinhart
And so now you're a believer?
Michael Bostic
Oh, no.
Lauren Everts
I also guessed my son's birthday in a dream, and he thinks it's true.
Michael Bostic
She did.
Lauren Everts
Was it the exact 69? I said, the baby's. He's gonna be born on 69.
Michael Bostic
69.
Lily Reinhart
Yeah. I was gonna say, what day of the month is 69?
Michael Bostic
She does weird shit.
Lauren Everts
But the point is, Reiki does 100% work.
Lily Reinhart
Yeah.
Lauren Everts
I think you have to believe it.
Lily Reinhart
Yeah. For sure. I mean, you have to believe in anything, I think, for it to work.
Lauren Everts
But it makes sense if you're so relaxed and your nervous system is so like, just low, like, calm vibration. Like your body has room to do what it needs to do.
Lily Reinhart
Yeah, I agree.
Lauren Everts
Tell us about why you decided to start your skincare line Personal Day. Tell us how it became a seed of an idea and then how you sort of executed it.
Lily Reinhart
Well, I mean, speaking of, like. I mean, we're talking about mental health and spirituality and all these things. My skin very much reflects what's going on on the inside.
Lauren Everts
Well, your skin looks beautiful right now, and you're probably using your products. It looks really good.
Lily Reinhart
I do. I got a nice pimple from my travel day yesterday, but it's all good. I basically have struggled with acne since I was 12, and getting into the industry just kind of exacerbated that. Like, it just. You're wearing makeup 16 hours a day. You're traveling, you're on. You're. You know, it's a lot. There's lights, there's people touching your face. A lot. It's just. It's a lot. And so my skin was sort of getting worse as I was getting older, which was kind of crazy because, like, I was, you know, out of my teens. I was like, okay, finally my skin's gonna calm down and it's gonna start to heal. Because people don't have acne in their 20s, right? And then that's a fun surprise that you do and then. And I do at 28. And basically, I started seeing. I went on Accutane twice for my acne, so I had cystic acne to the point where I felt that I needed to go on Accutane, which, if people don't know what that is, it's basically like what people say is the cure for acne, even though it's usually only temporary. Some people, it works forever, and they're, you know, it's great for them, but it's so horrible on your body and wreaks a lot of havoc. But it's an oral pill. I went on that twice, and I went on it the first time. When I got off of it, my acne came back with a vengeance, and so I had to go back on it because I was in the middle of filming. So I was like, I can't just walk around with my whole forehead covered in bumps. So I went back on it, and as I was weaning off of it, I was working with my esthetician, Sarah Ford, and she was saying, okay, well, are you looking at. Because my acne just kept coming back, and it was like, what the fuck is going on? What am I putting on my skin that's creating this reaction. And she said, well, are you looking at the ingredients in your skincare? And I said no. So I went home and I was on my little laptop in my bathroom and copy and pasting the ingredients of like all my skincare that I was using and makeup products into an ingredient checker which we now have on our website personalday.com where you can and plug in the ingredients like copy and paste and it shows you, it highlights in red the ingredients that are acne triggering ingredients or pore clogging or whatever. And I was realizing that like 90% of the stuff I was using on my face had acne triggering ingredients in it.
Lauren Everts
And give us some names of things that you. I know it's well, like a lot.
Lily Reinhart
Of butters, a lot of oils, anything with fragrance, fragrance. Like I stay away. If something's has scented, I have to stay away from it. But a lot of butters and a lot of oils and like phthalates and parabens and all the nasty stuff. But it's things that like you wouldn't think, you know, you'd be like, I've never heard of this in my life. But then it pops up and a lot of times you can't pronounce these things but you're like, oh, that's an ingredient that I'm putting on my face. So I was kind of, it clicked in my brain because the idea of starting a brand had been proposed to me and I was like, maybe a skincare line because I'm so passionate about skincare. I've talked about it forever and it's been a passion of mine because I have acne. But it really clicked and made sense once I realized, oh my God, there is not this a line out there that I felt that I could just trust as someone with sensitive acne prone skin that I could use that wouldn't trigger new acne breakouts. Because I'm like looking at all these products and it's saying, you know, they're all from different skincare lines, they're all from different brands and they all were having these acne triggering ingredients in them. So I wanted to create a line that had no acne triggering ingredients in them across the bore. So you could use the moisturizer and a peel or a cleanser and know that none of them had those ingredients that would trigger a new breakout. Like someone with acne prone skin. If you see something and someone says that it works, you're like, yay, I need to try It I have to try this thing if it's gonna help my skin. But you always have that fear of trying something new is gonna break you out. Or I do especially like makeup products, whatever. Trying anything new is very scary. Cause I have very sensitive skin. So I wanted to create a line that felt kind of like a safe haven for people who were looking for help with their acne. And they knew that they could trust that nothing in the line would trigger a breakout.
Lauren Everts
And it's dermatologist developed, which is cool.
Lily Reinhart
Yeah, we developed with our dermatologist, Dr. Mamina Teregano. We have our board of Advisors, we have Dr. Courtney Tracy, who's a mental health professional. And because we wanted mental health to be a big pillar of the skincare line. I've talked about my depression and anxiety since people knew who I was for 10 years now. And I know personally the effects that acne has on my confidence and my mental health. Very hard when I have a breakout. The way that it makes me want to hide from the world. And I really wanted that aspect of. I really wanted compassion and empathy for people with acne to come through with this brand. And I guess I think, you know, calling it personal day is a reflection of taking a moment for yourself and self care. And I think, like, investing in skincare is self care for me. It always has been. But actually, I mean, the products are all under $40.
Lauren Everts
Which product would you start with?
Lily Reinhart
I mean, for people who are struggling with acne? I would definitely say the doing the work Salicylate acid acne treatment, because that's the one that really is going to like, it has the sal acid in it and has two other actives in it. Or not just two multiple actives in it that are going to target your breakouts. But also with each product, like, the more you use them over time, the better your skin gets over time. So we have luxury skincare ingredients in the product. Like, I'm a skincare girl. I love skincare. And having acne kind of makes you feel left out because you can't just try all these things and try all the bougie products. But we have like our niacinamide and squalene. Like, we have the bougie ingredients in the line. So you're getting that plus the acne.
Lauren Everts
Michael's gonna add the cleansing powder, and I'm gonna try this too. It's like you told me, it's like a powder that turns into like.
Lily Reinhart
Yeah, like a foamy lather. Cute.
Lauren Everts
That's amazing.
Lily Reinhart
Yeah, it's really? You get your pores.
Lauren Everts
Michael is very into skin care.
Lily Reinhart
Get your palms wet, and then you dump a little beep, beep, beep, beep. Little powder, and you rub it in and it turns into, like, this nice foam.
Lauren Everts
That's really smart.
Lily Reinhart
It's really nice.
Lauren Everts
It's nice, too, when you're traveling. All my shit always spills everywhere.
Lily Reinhart
I've tested this myself. Tried and true. This little cap, it locks. You can hear it.
Lauren Everts
Yeah, it's great.
Lily Reinhart
It locks into place. I just. I've flown with it multiple times. It's never opened up.
Lauren Everts
I think our audience would love that. Can we have a code? Do we have a code?
Lily Reinhart
We have a code. I think it's skinny on personalday.com go.
Lauren Everts
Use code skinny@personalday.com you get 15% off site wide. I would definitely start with what Lily recommended. And then I'm going to definitely check out that cleansing powder. I think that's genius. The brand's also really pretty. You want it out. I feel like it's not something you want to hide. Where can everyone follow you? You have 23 million followers. I think the whole audience is already following.
Lily Reinhart
No, not true.
Lauren Everts
But where could they find you? Where could they follow you? Where can they support what you do?
Lily Reinhart
I mean, I'm on Instagram, just Lili Reinhart and TikTok is my name as well. And I just joined threads, which because I was like, I'm getting off of, no offense to you, X. I can't handle it anymore.
Michael Bostic
I didn't build it.
Lily Reinhart
No, I know. So I got off of that one. You know what those are?
Lauren Everts
It's a little masculine. It's a little heavy in the masculinity. Yeah. It's the most feminine battle.
Michael Bostic
That'll be the take where they're like, this guy is still on X. He's in the conspiracy theory.
Lauren Everts
I do have to say something to you. I was going to tell you off air, but I'll just say it on air sometimes. All the time. Not all the time. 90% of the time, when you interview a very famous person or a celebrity, there's a lot of guardrails. It feels sometimes a little robotic when you're interviewing them.
Michael Bostic
Yeah.
Lauren Everts
You do not feel like the reps.
Michael Bostic
Didn'T dive across the street.
Lauren Everts
No, it's a compliment. She's humanized something. And I think you should always be like this. Don't ever change. It's so. It's frustrating as, you know, as interview host to interview someone that it's like. Yeah, like what are we even talking about? It's yes or no answers, and you are just very open, so I think it's cool.
Lily Reinhart
Thank you.
Lauren Everts
Yeah. Awesome. Thank you. Come back anytime.
Lily Reinhart
Thank you.
Lauren Everts
To shop Lily's skincare line, go to personalday.com and use code skinny for 15 off.
Podcast Summary: The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast Featuring Lili Reinhart
Episode: Lili Reinhart - Top Anxiety Tools, Stress Management Tips, & Embracing Self-Compassion
Release Date: December 19, 2024
Hosts: Lauryn Bosstick & Michael Bosstick
Guest: Lili Reinhart
In this compelling episode of The Skinny Confidential Him & Her Podcast, Lauryn Bosstick and Michael Bosstick engage in an open and honest dialogue with actress Lili Reinhart, best known for her role on the CW series Riverdale. Unlike many celebrity interviews where guests remain guarded, Lili offers a deeply personal look into her struggles with anxiety, the pressures of the entertainment industry, and her journey toward self-compassion and mental well-being.
Lili Reinhart reflects on her early exposure to media and its impact on her self-image:
"[00:25] Lily Reinhart: We grew up in the time of People magazine... I was seeing these parameters that I had to be in. I need to fit in that."
From a young age, Lili was immersed in performance, entertaining her family with theatrical acts like "Where's Christmas?" from The Grinch. Her parents' support became pivotal when community theater recognized her talent, encouraging her to pursue acting despite no familial ties to show business.
Lauryn highlights the validation Lili received:
"[03:06] Lauren Everts: Did your parents know that there was something sparkly?"
Lili credits her mother for the relentless support, driving her from Ohio to New York for auditions and booking accommodations using her father's hotel points.
The conversation delves into the relentless ambition fostered by the entertainment industry and its connection to anxiety:
"[05:59] Lily Reinhart: You all think that you're gonna reach a certain point where you feel satisfied or satiated, and then you never do."
Lili discusses the never-ending climb for success, illustrating how reaching one milestone often leads to the pursuit of the next, fostering a cycle of dissatisfaction and anxiety.
Michael adds perspective on ambition's dual nature:
"[06:14] Michael Bostic: I remember I was sitting around one time, and I just thought it was strange that some people's ambition is to work so hard for so long that one day you can basically just stay in the same place comfortably."
Lili acknowledges the industry's emphasis on rapid achievement, especially for women, which perpetuates the belief that not being in the "prime" of one's career equates to failure.
To manage her anxiety, Lili shares practical strategies for setting boundaries with technology:
"[26:12] Lauren Everts: What are some tools that you use to help with anxiety to help alleviate it?"
"[26:18] Lily Reinhart: I've been trying to just like... not look at my phone for long extended periods of time."
Lili emphasizes the importance of limiting "popcorn scrolling" and not bringing her phone to places like the bathroom or during short transitions, applauding herself for resisting the urge to check her device during a 20-minute drive home.
Lauryn shares her own approach:
"[34:27] Lauren Everts: I won't touch my phone for two hours... It's ruining my flow."
The hosts discuss the challenges of managing constant connectivity and the anxiety that comes with feeling obligated to respond immediately to messages.
A significant portion of the discussion addresses how social media and mass media contribute to body image issues and mental health struggles:
"[39:31] Lauren Everts: Have you heard about this app?..."
"[39:46] Lily Reinhart: We grew up in the time of People magazine... I was seeing these just like, oh, this is what women are supposed to... I need to fit in that."
Lili recounts her teenage years watching America's Next Top Model, where unrealistic body standards were perpetuated, leading to her own insecurities and drive to conform to these societal expectations.
She criticizes modern trends and advertisements on platforms like TikTok that continue to promote unhealthy body standards:
"[40:29] Lauryn Everts: But it's probably American, 76%. What happens when everyone's doing it?"
Lili predicts that once certain body trends become mainstream, the focus will shift again, highlighting the cyclical nature of body image pressures.
In her quest to manage anxiety and find inner peace, Lili explores various spiritual and self-care practices:
"[56:33] Lauren Everts: You mentioned off air spirituality. What does that look like for you?"
"[56:41] Lily Reinhart: 2020 was like my hub of spirituality... I went on the quest to become a Reiki master."
Lili shares her journey into Reiki, meditation, and therapy, emphasizing the importance of self-care and mental health in her daily routine. She details how these practices have helped her navigate the stresses of fame and personal challenges.
Driven by her personal struggles with acne and the harsh ingredients found in mainstream skincare products, Lili launches her own skincare line, Personal Day:
"[61:28] Lily Reinhart: I started seeing... there is not this a line out there that I felt that I could just trust... So I wanted to create a line that had no acne-triggering ingredients..."
Personal Day is formulated with dermatologist-developed ingredients, free from common irritants like fragrances, parabens, and phthalates. Lili's mission is to provide a trustworthy skincare solution for individuals with sensitive, acne-prone skin, combining self-care with mental health awareness.
Notable Quote:
"[61:36] Lauren Everts: Tell us about why you decided to start your skincare line Personal Day."
"[66:09] Lily Reinhart: ...mental health to be a big pillar of the skincare line."
Navigating the public eye brings its own set of challenges. Lili discusses how she handles negative comments and the pressure of being constantly scrutinized:
"[53:21] Lily Reinhart: It will roll off my back, I think more than it did when I was 19... I can't go to battle with these people..."
Lili emphasizes the importance of empathy and understanding, recognizing that those who leave hurtful comments often reflect their own struggles. She advocates for choosing compassion over confrontation, which has helped her maintain her mental well-being despite public criticism.
Notable Quote:
"[55:06] Lily Reinhart: ...a person who is happy and confident and like, you know, comfortable in their lives is not on Facebook, fighting with strangers."
Throughout the episode, Lili Reinhart offers valuable insights into managing anxiety, the importance of self-compassion, and the need for setting healthy boundaries in both personal and professional life. Her candid discussion serves as a relatable guide for listeners navigating similar challenges, emphasizing that success does not equate to happiness and that prioritizing mental health is essential for overall well-being.
Key Takeaways:
Final Reflection:
Lili Reinhart’s journey underscores the significance of self-awareness and the continuous pursuit of personal fulfillment over external validation. By sharing her experiences and proactive strategies, she not only demystifies the often-glamorized world of Hollywood but also empowers listeners to take control of their mental health and embrace their authentic selves.
Follow Lili Reinhart and Support Personal Day:
This summary captures the essence of the conversation between Lili Reinhart and the hosts, focusing on the meaningful discussions about mental health, self-care, and personal growth, while omitting promotional segments and non-content sections.