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The Bossticks
Live With Intention & Level Up: 6 Core Values To Guide You In Life, Business, Relationships, & Parenthood
00:51:35
#872: Join Michael Bosstick as he sits down to share six core values designed to help lead you with intention, parent with purpose, & create a more meaningful life. These values – kindness, integrity, personal accountability, discipline,...
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- [00:00]
Michael Bostick
The following podcast is a Dear Media Production. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur, a very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostick are bringing you along for the ride.
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Lauren Everts
Get ready for some major realness.
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Michael Bostick
Welcome to the Skinny Confidential. Him and her. Hello, everybody. Welcome back to another episode of the Skinny Confidential, him and her show. Today, once again, you have only the him portion of this show because my wife Lauren is on maternity leave and taking a break. She's taking way too long on this break. But here I am once again carrying the show. Carson. Carson, our producer, and happy to do so. I did a solo episode a couple weeks back that got some great feedback on habits. Thank you guys for listening or watching that and thank you for the feedback. I like doing these solo episodes. Funny enough, it's how this show started. Kind of Lauren and I just her and I answering questions, sharing more about how we think about life, how we live our life, how we build businesses. Over the years, obviously doing this for close to a decade, the show's evolved. We have all sorts of guests. But I still love talking solo like this into a mic. And the more feedback I get, the better because it gives me more ideas about what you guys are actually looking for. So with that today, I thought I would kick off another episode, another solo episode, all about the core values that I want to instill in my children and that adults can also check in on themselves with or apply to their own lives if they haven't already. These are the values that I think are most most important. To live a happy, healthy, productive life and what we hope to pass on to our children. As many of you know, Lauren and I recently became parents of three. We just had our third child in the last month. And so, you know, I'm thinking a lot about not only being a dad and parenting, but a lot about how they're going to live in the future, what we want them to be known for, the reputations we want them to keep, not only for themselves, but for the family and our legacy and things that are important to us. Lauren and I spend a ton of time thinking about how to a parent, what we want to or who we want to be as parents, what we want their kids to take away throughout their life. You know, I think it's true. Being a parent is one of the hardest things. It's not to say, you know, listen, we always joke and say we're not the first ones to figure out. Parenting people have obviously done this for thousands and thousands of years. But what I think to be a good, involved parent, that it's. It's really hard. And for the parents out there that are putting in the effort day in, day out, you know what I'm talking about. But even if you don't have kids and you're a young adult or someone trying to figure out your life, or maybe you. Hell, maybe even if you didn't get the parenting that you wanted as a kid, I think that these values apply widely across children, across adults, across teenagers. They're free to do again. You know, all these episodes are trying to create free resources, and they're values that I think we should, as parents and as adults, check in with ourselves on, because it's really easy to stray from the path in life and start to shortcut and make bad decisions and do things that are out of integrity and get away from our values. And so it's also a good reminder for the adults in the room or for the new parents that want to think about this for their kids. And by no means, again, are these things that you have to do or, you know, I'm 100% right on. These are what we talk about, what we think about, things that I feel are important to me for myself and for my family, and thought it might be important and helpful for you as well. And if not, no worries, you know, is what it is. Okay with that. I got some notes here because, like I said in the last one, I think about these episodes. I try to make sure that I get it all in there. Sometimes it just, like, rattles through the brain, and I want to make sure I write it down and not get away from it. So I've listed these in the six core values that I want to instill in my children and that I think adults can benefit from, too. The first one. Drum roll, please. Carson, we have a drum roll. Just smack your fingers or something. Okay, good. That's kind of a. Kind of a weak. Kind of a weak drum roll. Okay, the first one and the most important value that I think we think about most, and the only thing we really get upset with our kids about is kindness. You have to be a kind person. I don't care how successful you are. I don't care how many accomplishments you have. If you're not a kind person trying to put kind things out into the world, treating people with respect, then that's a big problem for us as parents. It's, you know, if we ever hear that our kids are being bullies or, you know, poking fun Anyone else or not being kind and helping other kids. It's something that we have a real problem with. And listen, I'm. No, I'm not a perfect person. Lauren's not a perfect person. I'm sure you, you listening viewing haven't been as well either. When I was a kid, I had a huge temper, was in fights all the time, probably wasn't the kindest at certain moments, but as I've gotten older in life, it has quickly become the most important thing. And you know, it's not just important because, you know, the world needs more kindness and less critics. It's important because of the way that you're perceived in the world, the way people lend a hand to you. There's nothing worse than living in an unkind way and then getting in a situation where you need help or you need somebody to reach out and you haven't been acting that way yourself and so nobody's there when you fall. Also, even if, you know, if you want to be kind, just not just to be kind for others, but for self serving, it's a smart strategy to just be kind in life. One of the things that I say to every individual that joins Dear Media when they come to work with me for me in the company is that culture comes first. And I don't care if you're the highest performer, I don't care if you have the biggest sales or you're the best producer or you're the greatest talent. If you're not a kind person that is putting kindness into the culture, you likely have to go. And I really mean that. Been instances in this company where there's been a great performer, but that has been wrong for the culture because they're just maybe not being the kindest person and they get the axe, they, they leave. So you know, from a professional standpoint, people talk, you have reputations, people are aware of who, who these people are. And so just being kind is so important. I, I don't think like there's this, there's this idea that, you know, you need to tear down everybody else's building to build your biggest. But what about just building the biggest building in the kindest way and making sure that people along the way you're helping as well. You know, I'm sure everyone has a story going out with some successful person to a dinner or to a lunch and seeing how they treat the wait staff or the person that's helping them at their table. There's no bigger turnoff in the world than seeing somebody who's Done well, treat people like shit. And again, it doesn't matter how successful you are. So, you know, kindness is. Is number one for me, being empathetic, making sure that my children know how to take care of other people, making sure that they're not bullies, making sure that they're being kind without any expectation in return, not just doing it because they want something. To me, that is the. And value. And if you have a reputation for being a kind person, in my personal professional experience, it's going to come back tenfold. You're going to get people that want to work with you, you're going to people that want to help you, probably going to do better dating. And it's just so important. So kindness is number one. Check in with your kids, check in with yourself. Are you being kind? Are you one of these trolls on the Internet trying to tear people down? If so, really do some soul searching. Ask yourself why. Why do you want to put something that is unkind out into the world? How is it helping you? How is it helping others? How is it helping the. That is, number one, just being a kind person. Number two, and this is really hard for some people and maybe not so for others, but it's so important, and that is having integrity, making sure that you're an honest person, making sure that you're not cutting corners. We check in with our children all the time. You know, our kids are small. Did you hit your brother? Did you scratch your sister? We force them to explain why. And listen, it's not that we don't forgive them if they do, but the one thing that they get in trouble with us for is if they lie, we say, you know, we don't lie in this family. We're honest with each other. We tell each other how we feel. We. Even if we're angry or we're frustrated for the adults out there, this can apply to you as adults as well. You know, there's. We all know those people that cut corners. As a side story, I personally, and I've said this on this show, will not do business deals or be in business with people that cheat on their wives or cheat on their girlfriends or their. Or their boyfriends or their spouses. You know, this goes for men and women. And it's not because I'm sitting there passing judgment. I really honestly don't care what people do in their personal lives. They can do what they want. But if you're going to live a life without integrity, the question that I'm going to start asking myself is if you will cheat on the person that you sleep with that you lay next to every night, then what the hell are you going to do with me? Right? And so from a practical standpoint, as a business person, you start to think, okay, you see these characters and maybe you can get a be friends with them or get a drink or have a laugh or, you know, watch them on tv, but you can't take them seriously enough to actually get into bed with them both, you know, from an intimate standpoint or from a business standpoint. Because if they will do that to the people they're closest with and they're able to keep a face doing that day in, day out with people that they're sleeping with or living with, as a rational person, you have to think, well, what are they going to do for me? And there's a book that I've been reading recently called I Regret Almost Everything. And it's a, it's a great biography by this guy Keith, who started the restaurant Balthazar. Shout out to Balthazar. Love Balthazar. Carson, if you've ever been to Balthazar in New York, one of the best Ramos gin fizzes out there on the East Coast. But anyways, I'll get it. That's a side note, but he said one of the things that he loves, it's from a movie and it's a quote, I don't remember exactly where, but it says, the problem with life is everybody has their reasons. And so in business, in relationships, when we're kids, we start to tell ourselves these lies about why it's okay to cut corners, to be out of integrity, to cheat on someone, someone, to lie to someone. And it becomes this snowball effect where the more you do it, the more comfortable you get doing it. And when that starts to happen, your judgment really needs to be called into question because you're living in a way that is self serving and it's not based in reality and you're hurting people around you. And so for me, we talk about this with our children all the time. And the biggest thing here is for me, if you're out of integrity, it's because you, you're not able to do the hard thing. You're not able to sit down with your business partner or your spouse or your girlfriend or your boyfriend and say, you know what? I'm not happy any longer or I don't really want to be doing this or I'm not feeling this. And you give yourself a reason that maybe you deserve to do something or the relationship, or they did this or they did that and all of a sudden you're this slippery slope where you've become completely someone who is out of integrity. Your judgment is compromised, your values are then compromised and your reputation is ruined. I think it was either Warren Buffett or Charlie Munger who said it takes a lifetime to build a reputation in only a few minutes to destroy it. And I think about that all the time. I also think, and this is the, you know, the world that we live in. I think today, Carson, I don't know if you saw, there was this CEO that got caught on a jumbotron. You see this guy? I heard all about that. I mean, I know we're all laughing and it's all funny, but think about the disruption that that causes in this personal, in his personal life. Shareholders pissed, company upset, value down, wife and family in disarray, upset. I don't know if he has children or not, but they're like, think of the light. And it's all because. And again, do what you want. But it's all because this individual or these individuals didn't have the balls to say, hey, not happy anymore, I want to do this. But the crazy thing to me, and again, this is why I talk about this slippery slope. You start to kind of take like cut corners here, cut corners there, and you start to feel this little bit of invincibility. What kind of psychopath thinks that you can get away with things in 2025 on the Internet in public when everybody's got a smartphone and Everybody's communicating in two seconds, you got Conor McGregor slinging his dick left and right all over the Internet. I don't know if you saw that, Carson. That's all crazy too. Like these people just, you, you start to live in this. You're like off the plane of reality doing things that you're going to get caught for that don't make sense. So again, it's just a serious lack of judgment. And I think if we could get back to the values. What Lauren and I want to instill in our children is it may take you longer, it may be harder, it may be more painful. You may never get what you actually want, but you'll have your reputation and people will respect you and you will have good, sound judgment. And it's all from keeping integrity. So value number two that I've listed on here is integrity. It should be a no brainer. Everybody should strive to have more integrity and be better and be honest. And again, none of us are perfect and we all make mistakes and there's room for forgiveness. But It's a value that we really want to try to, you know, instill in our children and that we would continue to challenge ourselves on as well as the people that are in our lives and the people that we reach. Number three. And this is a big one. And it's a real theme of this show, and it's things that I'm sure over the years we've sounded harsh on or gotten pushed back on or even hell of lost listeners or viewers or, you know, out of touch or unrelatable, all these things. It's called personal accountability. And it is something that Lauren and I talk about with our children so often. Being personally accountability, not blaming others, taking control of your life and acknowledging your own mistakes, your own shortcomings, your own pitfalls. All of these things. At the end of the day, you know, nobody's coming to give you more money. Nobody's coming to save your career. Nobody's coming to fix your broken relationship. Nobody's coming to manage your weight. Nobody's coming to help you build more muscle. Nobody's going to help you fix that goal. Nobody honestly cares. And that's just the truth. There's going to be people around your life that want to be supportive, but they all have their own problems, the same way that you, who's listening, you who's watching, or me, who's speaking, does. We're all focused on our own issues and our own problems, our own life. And because of that, if you don't have personal accountability, you're going to find yourself rummaging around life looking for answers without ever finding them. You're going to be in a situation where you're constantly the victim and never the victor and. But it's because you're starting from a place where you're looking externally to go and blame someone else. Maybe it's. Who knows? Maybe it was your parents or your upbringing. Maybe it was your financial circumstances. Maybe you had a really shitty boss. Maybe you had somebody that abused you in some kind of way. Maybe you had a boyfriend or a girlfriend that dumped you or cheated on you. Whatever the circumstances, these are all external reasons as to why you're in a certain situation. It's not to say that those reasons aren't valid and that they don't hurt and that they didn't cause certain things. But the longer you stay in that place where you're looking outward to blame someone for the current mess you're in, the longer it takes you to. For you to actually start picking up the shovel and digging yourself out of that hole or digging yourself out of that issue. So for me, in Dear Media, the company that I run, I always say that everything is my fault. If, you know, something goes wrong with one of our partners or advertisers, it's my fault. If something goes wrong with one of the shows, it's my fault. If something in the culture is off, it's my fault. And that may be something that I've not even actually worked on or have any real touch points on until after the fact. But the way I look at it is something needed to happen that existed from the top down for there to be that kind of mistake. Maybe I didn't communicate properly. Maybe I didn't, you know, nurture the culture the way it should have been. Maybe I didn't communicate with the talent or the reps the way they should have been. Maybe I hired the wrong person. Maybe I hired the person that hired the wrong person. What I found over the years is that if I take personal accountability and take ownership over the issue, that has a chain effect where then all of the other people in the entity are saying, you know what? Actually, I had a part in that too. Or actually, that was my mistake as well. And it creates an environment where everyone wants to lend a helping hand instead of a culture of blame where someone says, oh, yeah, like, I didn't do that. It's not my fault. It's so and so's and so and so's. And what I found is speaking about culture and kindness and integrity earlier, it creates an atmosphere where people want to band together to fix the problem and help it. This also applies to families. It also applies to parenting. If, you know, if my kid runs out at school and smacks another kid in the face, and I just say, well, that's my child's fault. It's my fault. I had nothing to do with that. As a parent, that's also not fair, right? I have to take accountability and step back and say, you know, what are they seeing from me? Or what behavior are they exhibiting? Or what are they watching on tv or what books are they reading? Or what are they exposed to that is allowing this? What boundaries am I not setting as a parent where they think that it's okay to go and do that in my marriage, if I am behaving poorly and then expecting my wife to just accommodate my poor behavior, my bad attitude, whatever it is, that's not fair either. I have to take accountability and say, how am I showing up in the morning? Am I waking up in a good mood? Am I doing everything that I should be doing to make this better as it relates to physical and mental health. I can't sit there and complain and say, oh, I'm stressed or I'm depressed or I'm having anxiety while, you know, sitting on the couch eating Doritos and Oreos and not going to the gym and drinking alcohol all the time. Like, I have to step back and say, you know, am I eating healthy? Am I taking care of myself? Am I sleeping right? Am I going to the gym? Nobody's going to do it for me. Which is why I've had such an issue with this, like, culture of acceptance where we just accept people for how they are. It's like, you know, maybe you're not. Maybe we shouldn't do so much. Like, I'm happy to say, like, I value you and I respect you and I love you and I hope you're okay. But then I want to follow that up with saying, but, you know, how can I help you to help you realize that it's important to take accountability so that you can improve your life. You know, if my kids ever come to me in the future and they're not taking care of themselves, mentally or physically, you better believe I'm going to be the first one there that says, like, hey, are you getting in the gym? Are you eating right? Are you sleeping right? Are you doing these things? If their relationships aren't going right and they're blaming their spouse or their partner all the time in the future, I'm not going to start attacking their spouse. I'm going to say, what are you doing in the relationship? But I think it's so important to do this, not only because selfishly it works and it gets better results, but it creates a situation then where you're going to start developing people who have this resilience to go and figure out their own issues and their own problems, and they're going to stop blaming everyone else. I think this culture has moved in such a direction where there's so much blame externally. Have you ever noticed that the people that are constantly blaming are always in the same place, if not regressing? Yes, life can be hard. Yes, you can have terrible circumstances. Yes, other people were born on third base or fourth base or in a home run, and maybe you weren't, but it doesn't do anything to continue to blame those people and not to, like, jump. There's so many stories of people that have started with nothing, in much harder circumstances. Maybe not even born in this country with some of the Rights that we have and have figured out how to make their life extraordinary and make something happen with very little resource. So the thing I always tell myself, if they can do it, why not you, why not me? But it all starts from a perspective of personal accountability. Not being a victim, being a victor, and understanding that nobody is coming to save you. You have to do it for yourself. Let's talk about Symbiotica, One of our favorite partners for a long time now. We recently just did an episode with Sherveen, one of their co founders. I highly suggest you go back and listen to that episode. It's very timely, it's current, we talk all about the new things they're doing. Here's the thing. Lauren and I could not be bigger fans of Symbiotica. We have been taking their products and their supplements for years now. What I love about Symbiotica is the quality they bring to the supplement space. It's so hard to find a supplement company that you can trust. We know the individuals there, we know the company and we personally take the products and give them to our kids as well. Some of our favorites are their vitamin D3 and K2. This is a standout. This is something that's essential. Everybody can benefit from having more vitamin D3 and K2. Many are deficient in it. They have one of the most complex methylated B formulations. And here's the thing, one of the things that we love most about Symbiotica is most of their supplements elements are liposomal, which means you actually eat them like food, which is going to give you better absorption with greater impact. If you've got the basics covered and you've already got the vitamin D and the vitamin B, they've also got the C, I think they make one of the best glutathions, which is one of the master antioxidants of the body. They also now have a new shilajit. That's incredible. It used to be a resin. Now you can take it right out of the packet. And so many others. They're magnesium threonite. They have a magnesium spray as well that you can spray on your body before bed to get the ultimate form of relaxation and rest right before bed. You really can't go wrong with Symbiotic. There are so many different products that have so many different benefits. It really just depends what you're looking for individually. You can go on their website and search by use and function and figure out what's right for you. And like I said, you really can't go wrong. Taking Symbiotica supplements is one of the easiest ways I found to stay consistent with my health goals even during a busy summer. And I want that for you as well. So check them out. Go to symbiotica.com TSC today to get 20 off plus free shipping. That's C-Y-M-B-I-O-T-I-K-A.com TSC to get 20 off plus free shipping quick break to talk about Haya Health, something that we have grown to love in our household. Our children love it for sure, and as parents, we do as well. Here's the thing. Typical children's vitamins are basically candy in disguise, filled with two teaspoons of sugar, unhealthy chemicals and other gummy additives growing kids should never eat. That's why Haya created a super powered chewable vitamin that kids love. While many children's vitamins are filled with 5 grams of sugar, which is known to contribute to a variety of health issues, Haya is made with zero sugar and and zero gummy additives. What we do every single morning is we've got our kids into a routine with their vitamin. They wake up, they say I want pink, I want yellow, I want green. They look forward to it and we take our vitamins together as a family. We have our adult vitamins and now they have Haya. And are you tired of battling with your kid to eat their greens? Haya now has Kids Daily Greens plus Superfoods, a chocolate flavored greens powder designed specifically for kids, packed with 55 plus whole food ingredients to support brain power, development and digestion. Just scoop, shake and sip with milk or any non dairy beverage for a delicious and nutritious boost your kids will actually enjoy. And now the same multivitamin that more than a million kids and parents love are now available with Disney's the Lion King with a new Lion King unboxing experience including Lion King bottle and Lion King stickers. And we've worked out a special deal with Haya for their best selling children's vitamin. Receive 50 off your first order to claim this deal you must go to hyahealth.com skinny this deal is not available on their regular website. Go to H I Y A H E a l t h.com skinny and get your kids the full body nourishment they need to grow into health, healthy adults. One of my personal favorite topics to share on this podcast are any advice that I think is beneficial around personal finance. I love the idea that you Guys can listen or watch this show and put more money back in your pocket. Here's the thing. All of us Work hard. Money is stressful. I know in my life money has been stressful and working hard and not ending up with enough or feeling like you're stressed all the time about money can be detrimental to living a healthy, productive, happy life. That's why I'm so excited today to talk about ynab. Ynab, spelled Y N A B, is a life changing app that helps you do what you want with the money you have. You'll create a flexible plan for your money through the simple practice of giving every dollar a job, keeping you focused on the life you want, whether that's covering your mortgage or your rent, funding your 401k without sacrificing dinners with friends or that long awaited trip abroad. With ynab, you'll stop wondering where your money goes and start deciding where it will take you instead. We recently did an episode with the founder of YNAB on this podcast talking all about how to get your money to work for you and ways you can stop feeling so money stressed. What I love About YNAB is 92% of users report feeling less money stress since using YNAB and the average YNAB user saves nearly $600 in their first month and $6,000 in their first year. Imagine what else you could do with an extra $6,000 in your bank account in your pocket. Being able to spend it on things you want without the stress of figuring out where to put it. So check it out. Life is short. Spend it well with YNAB. We have an incredible offer for this audience, TSC. Him and her show listeners can claim an exclusive three month free trial with no credit card required at www.ynab.com skinny. That's Y-N-A-B.com skinny. The fourth value that I think is so important for parents of young children, parents of children in general, parents in general, people in general, adults, is implementing hard work slash discipline. I wrote it down as hard work and discipline. I know it's kind of like two things, but it's really one value which is discipline and the discipline to work hard. And this is why it matters. Nothing in life is free. It's really hard. Competition is high. Nobody's going to hand us anything. This goes back to a little bit of personal accountability and more importantly, nobody's going to do the work for you. So for me, it is so important to instill the value of hard work from the Beginning, that could be chores around the house, that could be working out in the gym, that could be being disciplined in the morning and getting up early. That could be working extra hard on that project. That could be working hard in a sport. I don't care what it is for our kids. I don't care if they want to be a students or stellar athletes, or they want to go and invent a rocket ship, or they want to go and be the next tech whatever, or if they just want to be the most incredible stay at home mom or, you know, parent whatever it may be like, whatever you do, the only thing I care about is that you work hard and have discipline and hold yourself accountable to that hard work. I was fortunate enough to grow up with a father who was very entrepreneurial and pushed me really hard. I was, I was fortunate enough to have resources, but from a very early age he had me working hard, doing chores, getting jobs, going out, doing labor, doing things that would push that muscle, putting me in sports, making me get in the gym, doing the things to hold myself accountable. And what I realized as I've gotten older is we get this question all the time. Where does confidence come from? And you've had people like Ed Mylett say confidence comes from the promises you keep to yourself. And confidence comes from here. And there's confidence comes from doing hard things, failing over and over, continuing to do those hard things over and over, and eventually squeaking out a little bit of a win or a little bit of a progress. It comes from pushing yourself a little bit further out of your comfort zone every single day, every single week and getting a little bit further. And all of a sudden what you realize as a person is you're capable and you can work through things and people will respect that. And people look at you as somebody that has discipline and somebody that works hard. And next thing you know, you're confident and you're asking for that promotion or you're asking that girl or guy out on the date, or, you know, you're putting your hand up to start that business, or you're doing, you're putting yourself in a position where you're public speaking or whatever it may be. And it, it all stems from, from hard work and discipline. And here's the thing, this should be the bar to entry there. You know, when me as an employer, as somebody that works a lot of people, if I get into some kind of performance review with someone or if someone's applying for a job and the thing they're leading with is I'm A hard worker. It's like, yeah, no shit. Like that's like, what are you going to lead with? Like I don't work hard or I'm kind of like a medium worker like that. What do we talk about? Like the bar is like, everyone should show up to the table and anything they do, like I said, whether you're a stay at home mom or you're an athlete, or you're a coach, or you're working in a company, or you're starting a company like the bar, just the entry is that, that yes, you're a hard worker and you're going to put in the hours and you're going to put in the discipline. And for me this is a no brainer because there's always someone below trying to come up and take your spot. They want to take your job, they want to take your, you know, they want to be the next best podcast, they want to be the next best show, they want to be the next best whatever. Competition is high and there are people that are working hard every single day to replace you, to take over you. And so again, from a just self preservation perspective, hard work is so important because it's, it's the bar that keeps you there. And you know, I don't know anybody that has ever just landed in a bucket of success or a bucket of money or had a huge win that just sat around and said, yeah, this is kind of like nothing. I didn't do anything, I wasn't working at all. And it just kind of happened for me. Sure, there's people that get lucky in the short run. There's people that have, you know, they shoot to the moon, they go viral, or they have a good idea and it lasts real quick or they cut some corner and they did something easily and money pours in. But I almost guarantee you for, you know, doing this for close to two decades now and getting a little bit older, it's is always short lived and it is always a severe drop. So for me it's like every day I want to work hard at something, I want to work hard in the gym, I want to do the hard thing first. I want to, I want to try to eat well and be disciplined. I want to show up to my job and do that right. I want to go above and beyond. I was sitting, talking to a very prominent person the other day and I'm tempted to say the name, but it was a kind of a private conversation. I will say she is somebody who's on reality television that has two extremely successful daughters for a very long time. That's all I'll say. And I was in this meeting with her and what she said was as it related to her children, she said if they ever got booked for a job and the job was from 9pm to 11pm she would say, you show up at 8:30pm and you leave at 11:30pm and YOU shake every hand and you sign everything and you do everything and you're always the hardest perk in the room. And, and what's interesting about this person in particular is her children have had career success and longevity for three to four decades now and they don't need to work anymore. They could sit back and eat bonbons and have all the materials, but they still do it. And what I've seen is you've now have people that are well rounded, confident, well respected, hard workers. So you have to teach this to your children. You have to not be willing to step in when things get hard for them and do their work for them. You have to let them fail. You have to hold them to account. You know, they, they need to show up, they need to be on time. They gotta, you know, if they're in a sport, if there's for, you know, man or woman, they need to show up to that practice. They need to be the hardest working player out there or one of them. And us as parents, it's our responsibility to instill that. And I know it can be hard and you don't want to ever see them suffer and you want to make it easy. But as they get older in life, this is where they're going to be confident. This is where they're going to feel capable. This is where, you know, they're going to be their own person and stand on their own two feet. And this is where they're going to have an advantage over many people, as sad as it is to say. And again, like, maybe people don't, I don't like me hearing this. There are so many soft people out there now. I can't believe it. I get, you know, resumes all the time and I, I can't believe how many people who are in a position to do well, don't want to take that extra step or put in that extra leap or put in that extra work. And you know, I think, was it Kim Kardashian got in trouble for saying like, you have to work your ass off? Like the reason she got mad is because the people that don't want to work and don't want to face reality are mad that she said it. But the fact is, like, everybody out there that's actually working hard and getting shit done, they're like, yeah, like, no shit, no shit. You have to work hard. It is. It is the low bar. That is where you start from, and the rest comes from there. Most importantly, it's where you develop self assurance, self confidence. And it's where you have an advantage over many people these days who, you know, want to sit back and think it's going to be easy. News flash, it's not the fifth value that Lauren and I talk about all the time. And this might be at the top of Lauren's list if you were to ask her. I put it as number five on my list. But again, all of these are kind of interchangeable. All of them are important is resourcefulness. Lauren says this all the time. If she can instill one value in our children, it's resourcefulness. I have a few others as well, and so does she. But resourcefulness is definitely on my list of top six, both for kids and for adults. And here's why. You have to be able to go and figure out life. It's messy, it's not clean. There's curveballs. There's that old saying, you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans, and you're going to get hit in the nose a lot by life. There's going to be things that fall on your. There's going to be tragedies, there's going to be lost jobs, there's going to be lost businesses. There's going to be. I hope not, but there could be lost friends and family members. And you have to be an individual that is resourceful, somebody who's going to figure it out. And here's what we do as parents with our kids. This is for all the parents out there. And maybe some will write in and agree or disagree, but you got to let them struggle a little bit. You got to not give them the answer. You can see, like, you know, I've been reading with my kids lately and we're going through the Alphabet, and I could see they look to me when they're unsure and they want me to give them the answer, and I don't. I let them struggle through it and I let them kind of figure it out. Maybe you kind of give them some hints along the way and some ways that they can figure. But you, you have to let them figure it out. Because again, if you are somebody who's stepping in every time later in life, they're going to be looking for you to step in. There is nothing sadder to me than kids that come from immense privilege who have no idea how to live in the real world when they get there. There's nothing worse than a kid who's got a participation trophy, who doesn't get invited to participate later, because that's not how the world works. There is nothing worse than a young kid getting into the job market thinking that they're ripe for promotion every two months when they're not and don't have the experience. And it's. The reason it's sad is because what you can see is there was a failure from the parent down to the kid, where we've coddled these people so much that by the time they get into the real world and the real world doesn't coddle them, they're lost and they don't know what to do. Imagine going through your entire life of 20 years knowing that Mommy and Daddy are always going to backstop you. They're always going to pay your bills, they're always going to step in. They're always going to make you feel better when you get sad. They're always going to yell at the bully, they're going to yell at the teacher. They're going to, you know, go. And then all of a sudden, one day, it doesn't matter what Mommy and Daddy say, they can't help you any longer. They can't tell your boss to give you that promotion. They can't tell your boss to give you more money. They can't do anything to stop you from getting fired. They can't do anything to convince your landlord to lower the rent. Maybe they get to a point where they can't continue to fund your lifestyle. If you are raised as someone who's not resourceful and not somebody who can figure it out, then it's a bigger tragedy because all of a sudden you're just, like, dropped into the deep end of the pool, but you've never been taught how to swim. And so. So it's really easy. And again, I'm not passing judgment. I just am talking facts of how this happened. It's really easy as a parent to step in and make your kid's life comfortable. It would be so easy for Lauren and I to jump in in the future and give our kids a bunch of money or to, you know, give them that next job recommendation or to introduce them to them. And it's, you know, and I promise, there's, like. I know there's so many parents that want to do that, you know, You've worked your whole life and you want to provide these resources that maybe you never had. But what I say to them, and I've said this to my own parents, and I've said this to Lauren and I. It's like, give your children the opportunity. You had the opportunity to struggle, the opportunity to figure it out, the opportunity to go things the hard way, and more importantly, instill the trust and belief in them that they are able to figure it out on their own. Because what we're signaling to a lot of these kids when we. We're doing things for them is that we as parents don't actually believe that they're capable or that they can figure it out or that they're smart enough to get it done. We're signaling that, like, you will never be able to do this without me. And the intention is. Is good. What is that old saying? The. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. It's very true here. I think it's one of the hardest things you start to figure out as a parent is you can't do everything for your kids. You got to create the framework for them to figure it out. I would challenge young parents or mature parents to start thinking about it from that context. I'm sure as my kids get older and older and as more struggles start to face them, that it's going to be extremely challenging for both Lauren and Farai. It's like everybody wants to be able to step in. You know, parents out there know you love your kids more than anything in the world. You want to be able to do anything for them. But sometimes doing the hard thing and letting them know that you have faith that they'll figure it out is important. Now if you're somebody who's an adult and maybe you didn't have that kind of upbringing, and you're sit there and you're feeling lost, you're like, I don't know what the to do. That's something that we now have to, you know, start working on. We gotta again, go back to the idea that nobody's gonna do it for you. You're gonna have to figure it out. One no doesn't mean a hundred no's. As an entrepreneur, I have to figure things out all the time. I think, you know, it's. It's great that I'm in this moment in time where dear Media is doing well and we've built this business. I joke all the time that, like, the wheels have not fallen off yet, because any entrepreneur that tells you that they have it all figured out and that. It's just gravy all the time. It's lying. There's moving targets, there's markets that change, there's things that change. There's tragedies that can happen. So you're navigating it. But as somebody who's running a business or if you're aspiring to do one for yourself, the whole idea is like, I am confident in my ability to figure it out if something goes wrong. And I'll just share a little bit behind the scenes here. You know, like, when I started this company, it was pre Covid. Covid hit. Running a media company after that was interesting. Then there was a period of civil unrest, cancel culture, and a million different things as a media executive that were, you know, you step in one pothole and another one goes off. There was a thousand things. I'm sure I was canceled 80 times during that period of time. And then there's the market downturn. And for entrepreneurs out there, capital markets dry up, job markets get tight. There's the work from home and the this and that. And, you know, you're navigating all these things. Anybody that said they had it figured out during their time didn't. But if you're a resourceful person, you roll with the punches, you start to figure it out. And so it's really important to do that also. We live in a time now where we have technology and different kinds of healthcare. Say, God forbid something happens to you. From a health perspective, you want to be a resourceful person. You want to start pooling the resources, figuring out, do I talk to this doctor? Do I not? Do I go here? Do I go there? You want to start figuring out if you lose your job, you don't want to just sit there on your ass and say, well, my life's over. You got to start figuring out how you're going to replace that income. What are you going to do? Once again, from the perspective that nobody's going to do it for. So for me, it's very important from a confidence perspective, from a hey, I believe in you as children perspective, to develop the value of resourcefulness for my kids and for our family and as an adult to continue to try to work on it myself, to always look at different options, to not hear no every time there's a no, but see that there's a yes somewhere else, and to have the ability to pivot with life and roll with the punches. So again, resourcefulness is extremely high up there on the values that we want to instill.
- [38:03]
Lauren Everts
Taylor Farms. Okay. Sweet Kale Caesar, avocado ranch, Mediterranean crunch. Taylor Farms chopped salad kits come in so many different flavors. If you want super fresh, crisp, delicious chopped salad kits, they have you covered. There's no chopping, there's no slicing icing. There's no leaving half a cabbage in your fridge. I've done that so many times. And then you're like, oh, it's also just a lot on your arm to have to chop all those fresh greens. And Taylor Farms has you covered some ideas. You could do a salad at work with some chicken. You could do a salad at work with some steak. Maybe throw some sweet potatoes on there. I personally like to use the chopped salad kits for my meat bowls. I mix it all up together. I make a burger bowl. I do a fiesta bowl. Sometimes I just do like raw cheese and honey and do venison meat on top. And then I'll add like the Mediterranean crunch. You can do whatever your heart desires and it gives you volume, which is great because you're eating tons of nutrients and minerals with their chopped salad kit and then you have that volume in the salad. I love it and I love to do it after I work out my meat bowl. If you've not tried Taylor Farms chopped salad kit, you're missing out. Just mix it up and give yourself a round of applause. I'm telling you that Mediterranean crunch is really good. Grab a Taylor Farms chop salad kit and get your salad together. I clean my entire house, my entire office, the baby's nursery, my car with the same cleaning supplies. So easy. Branch basics. I. I cannot say enough good things. If you have not tried this brand, you are missing out. There is no synthetic fragrance, there's no harsh chemicals, there's no hormone disruptors. It's just real effective cleaning supplies that are safe for babies, pets and the planet. I did not want all of this like weird chemical stuff on my floor where my dogs were sniffing. I have tiny chihuahuas and we don't wear shoes in our house. So I didn't want all this weird cleaning supplies on my kids feet. And so I learned all about cleaning supplies and they are the best of the best. Their premium starter kit replaces dozens of toxic cleaners. I got this for my dad and my stepmom. They love branch basics. I have this for my sister. Like I said, it's in my office. Everyone on our team uses branch basics. I'm really passionate about this because it's truly just one concentrate that replaces places dozens of cleaners. You're going to save money and My house has never like felt better. Visit branchbasics.com skinny15 and use code skinny15 at checkout. That's branchbasics.com skinny15. That's code skinny15.
- [40:56]
Michael Bostick
Quick break to talk about Caraway. We are so focused as a population on making sure that we're putting the healthiest ingredients in our bodies, eating naturally, making sure our kids don't have seasons, oils and all of these things that are wreaking havoc on our systems. But what if we're cooking in materials that are also wreaking havoc on our systems? Lauren and I recently had the founder of Caraway on this podcast to talk about how important clean cookware is. This is why Lauren and I are such big fans of Caraway's non stick products and why we prefer them out of all of the other competitors out there. There was some recent viral content going around about these plastic cutting boards that are putting microplastics into our bodies. What we love is that with Caraway you don't have to worry about that. They have these wood grabs cutting boards and also they don't have these Teflon cooking pans and skillets. They have nothing but ceramic products. So when Lauren and I started to get serious about our health, one of the first things we did was switch all of our toxic chemical materials out of the house and bring in cooking utensils and supplies that got rid of all of these toxic chemicals. Some of those chemicals include pfas, pfoas, ptfes, lead, Cadium and other harmful chemicals. So for guilt free cooking we switched to caraway. They also have containers for food storage shorts that are also non toxic made of ceramic coated glass. So check them out. If you have been eyeing their Internet famous 12 piece cookware set, now is the perfect time to buy. You can shop caraway risk free, enjoy fast free shipping, easy returns and a 30 day trial. Plus if you visit CarawayHome.com TSC10 you can take an additional 10% off your next purchase. This deal is exclusive for our listeners, so visit carawayhome.com TSC10 or use code TSC10 at checkout. Caraway Non Toxic Cookware Made Multiple Modern.
- [42:33]
Carson
How is my skin? You know what this sunscreen, it's caffeinated, it's mineral and it does not pile under makeup. I applied it today with a damp beauty blender before I got my glam done and it lays so nicely under like a foundation or a concealer. But here's the thing that I like the most about it. So when I'M off work, and when I don't have to do podcasts or Instagrams or content, or I just can just be comfortable, I can wear this caffeinated sunscreen, and I still get a really nice tint and a protection. And it looks like my skin is all one even tone, which is nice without all the makeup. It's not like a foundation. It's. It's like the caffeine tightens your skin. It gives you a nice, even tone, and it just gives you a little bit of color. So what I like about this sunscreen is the versatility. So you can wear it when you're off and you're running around and you're running errands and wear it with nothing over it, or you can wear it like I'm wearing today, right now, with foundation and concealer over it. So it works both ways. I will wear this when I'm going to the gym in the morning and just wear it throughout the day with nothing else, or I will wear it with a full look. I created the sunscreen because I couldn't find a mineral base sunscreen with caffeine in it. Caffeine tightens the skin, it shrinks the pores, and I just like how it lays on the skin. And I mixed it with a mineral sunscreen, and then we made it SPF 40. So it's a real treat, I think, that you guys will absolutely love. Just comes out in a pump, fits in your handbag, and it can go through the airport. You can shop this@shopskinnyconfidential.com and. And it's the caffeinated SPF. Also, if you're like me and you go through sunscreen quickly, you can subscribe and the sunscreen will get delivered straight.
- [44:29]
Lauren Everts
To your door, so you don't have to worry about it.
- [44:30]
Carson
That's shopskinnyconfidential.com.
- [44:35]
Michael Bostick
Last one that I think is important for everyone is the value of independence. And first, let me caveat by saying you cannot get through life by yourself, on your own, without help, without friends, without partners. Partners. It's not possible. Or maybe it is, but it's a very lonely life, and you're missing out on a lot of the joys of life by going that way. What I say and what I mean when I say independence is the ability to be okay on your own in those periods of solitude or those periods of aloneness. The ability to independently, critically think on your own. One of the big themes of this podcast is that, right, we have lots of different people and Perspectives on this show. I cannot tell you how many times on this show we have gotten pushback for having a certain guest or a certain thought process or because we didn't, you know, put up some stupid square on Instagram or some blue picture or whatever the hell everyone's doing. And it's because we live in a moment where everybody wants you to do what everybody else is doing, and if you're not doing it, you get ostracized and alienated. And from a survival perspective, we evolved in a way where people want to be part of the herd, they want to be part of the tribe, they don't want to stand out. And, you know, for me, it's so important for my children to have the value of being independent. Being able to think on their own, being able to gather different perspectives and different opinions, even if they disagree with it or it's counter to their own so that they can figure out their own thought and how they really feel and how they really think. Also, this is where good ideas come from, right? Being able to, like, digest everything that's going on in the zeitgeist and say, okay, okay, I see that and I see all these perspectives, but this is the lane I'm going to follow. Again, also being independent, being able to sit in your own or on your own with your own thoughts, you're going to develop that confidence muscle. Being able to be, you know, not in a room with 18 different people to stimulate yourselves all the time. Maybe you can think and you can read and you can journal and you can be okay during that. If you're in a relationship and it's not going the way you want it to be, but you're scared to leave it because you don't want to be alone. Again, having a sense of independence, knowing that, like, I love to be with this person, but if they're not going to value and respect me the way that they should, then I'm also okay being without this person and what I tell Lauren. And we say this to each other all the time. We love being together. We want to be in a married relationship together. We can't imagine not being with each other. All that being said, we would both be okay without each other. It wouldn't be fun. It would be very painful. But we could figure out life. This is what we want for our children as well. We don't want them to be beholden to one individual. We don't want them to be held hostage to being part of the group. We don't want them to feel the social pressures of having to do what everyone else does just because everybody else is doing it. We want them to have independent, rational thought and we want them to have self respect so that they can know that they add to the relationship or the company or the friendship or the organization, but also they would be just fine without it. So, you know, you realize over time that this is a muscle that you also have to continue to flex. You have to start to maybe do some things on your own. I think if you're a parent out there, go let the, you know, the kid go off and think on their own and be on their own, challenge their ideas. Ask them, are you thinking this way just because your friends are thinking this way? Are you doing this because you actually think this way? If you constantly find yourself on the majority, majority all the time thinking the same way. If you find yourself agreeing or consuming content because of one certain thought process and you just find yourself nodding all the time and alienating a whole nother perspective or not listening to that perspective, you're probably missing out on a lot of life. You're probably also missing out on big ideas. Imagine if I ran a company and I found 20 people in the company that agreed with me all the time and 20 people that disagreed with me. So I only listened to the 20 people that agree, agreed with me. A logical, rational operator would say, what is the thing that I'm missing from these other 20 people that disagree? You have to be willing to look in that direction. I won't go on a political tangent here because I've done enough of that. But I think we're in the state that we're in as a country, largely because people have stopped listening to each other, largely because people have actually stopped thinking. When I was a kid, the conservative right was conservative, suppressing a lot of speech, speech really pro vaccination and pro less medical freedoms. And the left was really open to different lifestyles, open to free speech, and a little bit more open medically. Somehow that's completely flip flopped. But people that haven't been paying attention are still just left and right. And it's likely because there's been no critical thought process to say, wait a minute, do I actually like believe or think about all these things? Again, I won't go on too big of a political tangent, but it just gives you pause to start to think like, why do I actually believe what I believe? And am I actually being an independent person? My biggest thing that I want in life is autonomy and independence. I value it over money. I value it funny enough, over time, everyone says time's the biggest thing. Nope. Independence and autonomy. Being able to do what you want, how you want, when you want, think how you want, is, to me, more important than time. I would rather live a shorter, more compressed life independently, free of thought, without having to worry about what everyone else is doing, than to have all this time on earth. So, again, being independent, being an independent thinker, having independent critical thought, being confident, being alone, having the ability to know that you bring great things to a relationship, but also being okay to not be in the relationship is so important. And it's something that we are going to try to instill in our children and help them with and reinforce. And as adults, I think it's something that we should all think about as well as, like, am I being an independent person? Am I being a kind person? Am I being resourceful? Am I being discipline? Do I have integrity of hard work? All of these things are so important. And so that's my closing of the episode to recap real quickly one more time, you know, in order. I've gone kindness, integrity, I've gone personal accountability. We've gone hard work and discipline, resourcefulness and independence. These are things that I hope my children will have in their own life. Maybe one day they will listen to this and they will take the lesson to heart. Hopefully I can live up to these values myself as a parent and instill them as well. And even for the adults out there, for people that don't have kids, for people that are just living and listening or viewing this podcast, maybe a check in with yourself to say, hey, where do I land on these values? Do I like these values? If I do, how am I measuring up to these values? Again, all free to do. All could be implemented. Even if you're not living up to them, you can start. You know, there's nothing maybe you've been living out of integrity. Well, let's try to correct that and figure out there, maybe you haven't been so resourceful. Well, let's figure out how to become more resourceful. Maybe you haven't been working hard or being, you know, disciplined. Like, let's start that tomorrow. So with that, we'll see you next time. Hope you like this episode. Carson, let's take us out.