← The Bossticks
The Bossticks
Sahil Bloom On How To Take Back Your Time, Own Your Future & Tap Into The Greater Power Of Your Mind
01:10:45
#805: Join us as we sit down with Sahil Bloom – author, entrepreneur, & investor, who created a groundbreaking blueprint for building a fulfilling life through, The Five Types of Wealth. Backed by science and filled with actionable insights,...
Loading summary
Transcript194 lines
- [00:00]
Lauren Everts
The following podcast is a Dear Media Production. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire.
- [00:08]
Michael Bostick
Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur, a very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostick are bringing you along for the ride.
- [00:16]
Sahil Bloom
Get ready for some major realness.
- [00:18]
Lauren Everts
Welcome to the Skinny Confidential.
- [00:21]
Michael Bostick
Him and her.
- [00:25]
Lauren Everts
Hello everybody. Welcome back to the Skinny Confidential him and her show. Today we're thrilled to welcome back our friend, a guest who never fails to inspire and transform the way we think about success, happiness and fulfillment. Our friend Sahil Bloom has joined us again on the show to talk about his new book, the Five Types of Wealth. Many when they think about wealth, they think just about the financial aspect of wealth. But in his new book we talk about time, social, mental and physical health as well, and how all of them together are just as important as the next. Some may be a little bit more important than others, but we dive into that every time we sit down with Saul. We learn something, we get something. We love having him on the show with that. Our friend, Saul Hill Bloom. Welcome back to the Skinny Confidential him and Herschel show. This is the Skinny Confidential.
- [01:07]
Michael Bostick
Him and her.
- [01:10]
Sahil Bloom
You have the most value packed newsletter I've ever read. Your newsletter does not waste my time.
- [01:18]
Michael Bostick
I appreciate it. That's my, that's my goal. I don't want to waste your time in anything that I do in life.
- [01:23]
Sahil Bloom
You don't. I go, I, I get a lot of emails, as you can imagine. I actually am in focus mode right now for about the last two years.
- [01:31]
Lauren Everts
I think you've been for two years.
- [01:32]
Michael Bostick
Because every time I send an email to you, I get that message back. And I, I so much when people do that kind of thing too, because I get it, I know what you're trying to do. So I appreciate it.
- [01:41]
Sahil Bloom
Setting a boundary. And if I want to respond, I'll forward it to someone on the team. Like we wanted you on the podcast. So you forward it and you and they can respond and it just for something I don't want to respond to, I don't respond. So your newsletter, I get it, I read it, I consume it. I love it. It doesn't waste my time. So the fact that you wrote a book, I'm pretty excited about that because I'm a huge reader.
- [02:04]
Michael Bostick
I think it'll do the same thing. I don't think it'll waste your time and it will have high density of ideas per page.
- [02:11]
Lauren Everts
I want to get into the book and welcome back to the show, by the way. But to start, if someone were to strip away your financial wealth. Which of the other four pillars of wealth would you put as the next priority?
- [02:22]
Michael Bostick
I think time wealth is where everything begins for everybody. Time wealth is really about freedom to choose how you spend your time, who you spend it with, where you spend it, when you trade it for other things. And it really begins with an awareness of the fact that time is your most precious asset, that time is the only thing that you can't ever get back. And that's really hard to get through to young people in particular, because time is one of those things that we basically don't think about our entire life. And then at the very end, it's the only thing you think about, but it's too late. Then you're dead. And one of the things that I just want to get through to people with this book or with the ideas that I share in general is just take advantage of the time that you have. Like, if I were to ask you, would you trade lives with Warren Buffett? He's worth $130 billion. He has access to absolutely anyone in the world. He flies around on private jets, has all these mansions, all these things. You wouldn't trade lives with him, though, because he's 95 years old. There's no way you would agree to trade the amount of time you have left for all of the money that he has. And he would give anything to be in your shoes, trade away all that money. So you know in the back of your head that time has this incalculable value, and yet on a daily basis, how much of it are you just wasting?
- [03:41]
Lauren Everts
Yeah. You know, it's funny. Like, I was. I think about time differently now as I get close to my 40s. I'm still obviously young, but we've been doing this show for almost a decade, and I was thinking, and you'll relate to this. Our daughter's turning five. And then I was starting to think, how fast? Like a blink of an eye. We've done this show for almost 10 years, and now she's five. And I'm like, okay, in another 13 years, potentially, she no longer lives with us. And when you contextualize it that way, and you've got a little bit more life, and you realize that 10 years of doing this felt really quick. Like, I don't want to say it depressed me, but it was. It was like a punch in the gut to realize, like, oh, my gosh, this, like, comes much faster than people realize. Yeah.
- [04:19]
Michael Bostick
And that's the most beautiful thing if you allow it to be Too. There's this chart that I show in the book of the amount of time you have with your children. And it's that whole idea that those years that you have are truly magical and they are so short, but that impermanence is what makes it so special and beautiful. Like, the reason moments are beautiful in our life is because they are impermanent, because they won't last for long. The reason you appreciate a sunset is quite literally because it doesn't last forever. And that's sort of the same thing with all of these windows of time that we have with people in our lives. But we have to take the pause. Like, we actually have to give ourselves the space to zoom out and appreciate them along the way.
- [05:06]
Sahil Bloom
On a personal note, how do you manage handle think about your own time from a really granular level?
- [05:13]
Michael Bostick
I am very big on thinking about energy on a daily basis. So I do this exercise. I call it the Energy Calendar. And it's basically an idea that the things that you are energized by tend to be the things where you create the best outcomes. When you, like, lean into things that you're truly interested in, that lift you up, that make you feel excited, you create those 10x100x outcomes. Same rule applies to people. If you're leaning into relationships that energize you, good things happen. And leaning away from things that drain you, good things happen. And so what I do just tactically is if I'm feeling out of sync in my own life at the start of a week, like on a Monday, I'll color code my calendar after every activity. If it was energy creating meaning, it made me feel energized. I'll mark it green. If it was neutral, I mark it yellow. And if it was draining, I actually felt physically drained from the thing market red. If you do that for a week, you have a very clear visual perspective of the type of activities that are lifting you up that you need to lean into versus the things that are draining you that you maybe need to lean away from. And you can make slow and steady changes over a period of a few weeks and months to get to that space where you have more energy, creating activities which will really improve your life.
- [06:26]
Sahil Bloom
What were the things that gave you energy and drained you? Give us some examples.
- [06:30]
Michael Bostick
In person meetings, spending time with people in person, massively energy creating for me, creative work. When I'm actually creating things like writing, you know, crafting things, whatever it might be, the book writing, all of that super energy creating draining for me is like zoom meetings and phone calls are my number one. I would rather staple gun my stomach than sit on a day of zoom calls.
- [06:54]
Sahil Bloom
And people are like, why don't you get on video? I'm not ruining my eyes. Like, sorry.
- [06:59]
Michael Bostick
And it's just like, do a zoom call in the afternoon and you're not falling asleep. You're just like sitting there staring at a screen. And so. But like the pushback that you get when you say that is, okay, well, I have to be on those things. And the first time I did this, I was working in my 80 to 100 hour a week finance job and I had that same mindset. But the reality is you're actually in more control than you think. And so what I did was I noticed that walking phone calls were actually pretty energy creating for me because I could be outside. I like nature and just like fresh air. I was more present on the call. I wasn't multitasking. So I turned half of those phone calls into walking calls. And my whole life changed. Like, I still had to do the same number of calls, but now half of them were actually lifting me up and I felt good. And so it's like, push back a little bit on those assumptions you have over the amount of control you really do have over the things on your calendar. Sometimes you can make tiny tweaks like that that actually dramatically change how they feel.
- [07:50]
Sahil Bloom
When you do your nature walks, are you on video or are you off?
- [07:54]
Michael Bostick
No, I don't go on video.
- [07:55]
Sahil Bloom
Okay, so you and I are the same. That's what I like to get outside. I like to move my body. I like to be in nature. At least you can kind of habit stack, multitask, passively multitask what's going on.
- [08:06]
Michael Bostick
Most people don't want to be on video either. You're not going to get a whole lot of pushback saying that because it's like on video. I think they've actually done research on this. 90 of the time. People are just looking at themselves because they're worried about how they look and they want to see how they look.
- [08:19]
Sahil Bloom
When they're talking on their computer doing other. Which is so obvious. It kind of like I, I agree with you about pushing back. Just because everyone's doing something doesn't mean that I have to. Like, I just, I don't want to be on video. I just don't. Michael gets mad at me. It's just.
- [08:33]
Lauren Everts
I don't get mad at you.
- [08:34]
Sahil Bloom
Sometimes you do. Michael has a full blown diva light. Michael has a.
- [08:39]
Michael Bostick
You always look good on the video.
- [08:41]
Sahil Bloom
Movie set set up in his thing with, like, lights and diva lights and, like, hey, listen, man, light boxes. So, like, sure, Michael wants to be on video. He looks like Uncle Jesse in Full House.
- [08:53]
Lauren Everts
I'm wheeling and dealing. I'm closing deals. I can't be coming on there looking dusty.
- [08:57]
Michael Bostick
I'm like, listen, it's also unfair because, like, for men to show up on a video is a very different thing than for women to show up on a video. Like, just the time required into getting ready for that video is very different.
- [09:07]
Lauren Everts
I also wouldn't do much of a job if I'm, like, pitching, like, hey, we can do great production for you and all this. And then I come on, like, I need to have the setup.
- [09:15]
Michael Bostick
Like, you got to be able to show that you can do it. I gotcha.
- [09:18]
Sahil Bloom
He's like an influencer upstairs.
- [09:20]
Lauren Everts
I do think, though, that Zooms in general. Like, as someone who runs a company, like, I don't find them to actually be that productive. I think, like, you see half the people zoned out. You see people disinterested. It's like, I don't know, running a company in a time of COVID and. And moving to this. Like, I encourage as much, as much as possible people to come in because I just see a happier environment. I don't see video being productive. I don't personally like conducting meetings. Sometimes it's necessary, but, yeah, I don't know.
- [09:50]
Michael Bostick
It makes everything transactional, too. And when you think about your own learning experience in your career and past years of your career, a lot of it comes in the liminal moments, like those. Those side conversations that happen in between meetings. It's not the actual meeting that was valuable for the learning. It was the side conversation, like at the water cooler or getting pulled into coffee or getting pulled into your boss's office. And that can't happen in a Zoom environment. So it's also finding that it's just.
- [10:15]
Lauren Everts
I don't know. You know, we've. We refused to do this show on. On Zoom with there. For a minute there, they were trying to. You know, a lot of people were trying to do that, and they honestly were just not good episodes. Like, they just. Even with great guests, it's just. It wasn't the same. Okay, let's talk about your book, the Five Types of Wealth. Congratulations. How did you come to choose these five things? And maybe we can go through each of them quickly and then kind of dive in.
- [10:39]
Michael Bostick
Yeah, I mean, my. My journey to writing this book really was a manifestation of My own personal journey. And that was one where I spent the first, really 30 years of my life chasing a definition of success that was just handed to me by the world, which is that more money is going to make you feel like a success, that you're going to impress others enough that suddenly you wake up and you feel good. And unfortunately, what I found along that journey was I was sort of winning that game. But every other area of my life had really started to suffer. And that was everything from my relationships with my parents was never seeing them. My sister, my relationship had ground to a halt. My wife and I were struggling to conceive at the time, unfortunately, which was really a strain on us. I was drinking seven nights a week. My mental health was all over the place. So all of these other areas of my life had started to suffer. And from the outside looking in, I was winning the game. And I started to have this sensation of if this is what winning feels like, I have to be playing the wrong game. And it all came to a head for me with this one conversation when my parents mortality was sort of brought and shined into the light. Just the recognition that they weren't going to be around forever. And that was when I stepped off the track. And when I stepped off the track, the first thing I tried to figure out over the coming months was what is the right scoreboard to measure my life around? Like, if this was the wrong one. If just focusing on money was not working in terms of where I was headed, what was the right one? And the way that I did that was I went and talked to hundreds, in the end, thousands of people across the last several years to try to understand what were the things that actually contributed to a meaningful life, in addition to money, what are the other things that lead us to a happy, fulfilling life? And four things basically came up over and over and over again. And that was time, people, purpose, and health. Those are the four things. Money was an enabler to some of those things, but it was never an end in and of itself. Like, no one ever said they wanted to be on a private jet by themselves. Just doesn't happen. People want to experience these things with others. And so that was when I started to have this framing of these five types of wealth, that if this is the kind of set of pillars that contribute to this life well lived, we need to measure around that full set of pillars so that we can actually take action against them and then go build a life around them.
- [13:07]
Lauren Everts
So when you started doing the research for the book, how did you Go about, you know, kind of not only just like your own experience, but I see there's a lot of different graphs and charts, and I just got the book today. I'm going to dive in. But how did you kind of go about actually pulling these data points and proving some of these things that you're trying to articulate?
- [13:27]
Michael Bostick
It was immersing myself in the human experience. There's. There's a lot of research. There's a lot of data. All of that stuff is included in the book. There's, you know, science backing all of these different ideas around, you know, our relationship with money and how it impacts our happiness. All of these different types of wealth have a variety of science that supports their impact on your life. But the reality is that the human experience is what matters most. And to understand something deeply human, you have to immerse yourself in the human experience. And so what you'll notice as you dive into it is you will find yourself in one of the stories of the different people that I spent time with to understand these different types of wealth. I mean, the. The parents that I sat with who had tragically lost a child and come to understand the impact on their life and how to navigate that grief. The, you know, people who had stepped off the track to spend more time with their kids during these years, only to go back and realize in a next season of life, they could focus on their professional aspirations. Just the people building their life in different ways and finding their version of a wealthy life. Because that was really what I was after. The whole idea was like, you will never feel successful unless you create your own definition of success. And that's what this is all about. It's not. It is about identifying what truly matters to you.
- [14:46]
Sahil Bloom
That's exactly what you just said, is why I like your content. You don't preach at the person who's consuming it. You allow us to come to our own conclusion of what the definition is. And even if it's a newsletter, it's like a. It could be like a small piece of content that you do. You don't say, this is what you're supposed to do, which a lot of people do. As, you know, they preach at you. You just say, here's the information. And then the. The person who's consuming it sort of comes to their own deduction. That's what I love about your content. And you just. I didn't know that's what I loved until you said that.
- [15:23]
Michael Bostick
I say in, like, the first few pages of the book, this book will not Give you the answers. And that is like a terrifying thing. At the start of a self improvement book. You're like, oh, the publisher was even just like, wait, are you sure you want to leave that in there? And it's so important because the greatest discoveries in life come not from finding the right answers, but from asking the right questions. And this book is about asking the right questions because then you can uncover the answers that make sense for you. It's not me giving you the answers for your life. My life is totally different than yours. I have a totally different set of lenses and considerations. I want to arm you with the questions so that you can sit with them, ask them to yourself, and come to those answers.
- [16:03]
Sahil Bloom
So when you asked yourself these questions that you've put in the book, what did you find as your definition of success?
- [16:10]
Michael Bostick
I want to be able to take my son in the pool at 1pm on a Wednesday.
- [16:14]
Sahil Bloom
Yeah.
- [16:15]
Michael Bostick
That is basically the wealthiest I ever feel is when I can do that. Because it means I have the freedom to decide that I can. Out of 1pm on a Wednesday, I can go outside and take him to the pool. It means I have the level of financial wealth to have a pool, which is nice. And it's like a nice thing. And it means that I'm healthy. It means that I have a bond with my son. It means that I have a feeling of connection and purpose to my family. It means that I am literally filling my cup across this entire five types of wealth. And when I think about my version of enough, like when I feel like I have that beautiful feeling of enough where I'm not chasing more and more, it's in those moments when I'm getting to spend time with him.
- [16:53]
Sahil Bloom
Time. Time's a big. It's the foundation of time. Having the time to be able to do what you want. Time's a big one.
- [16:58]
Lauren Everts
You're right on the reverse of that. As you were writing this book, did you find one of these types of wealth to be kind of the one that stood out for most people to lack the most? I don't know if that's the question. Right. But essentially, like, was there one of these things where a lot of people are just lacking and they have a regret because of it?
- [17:18]
Michael Bostick
Time is the biggest one.
- [17:19]
Lauren Everts
Time was the biggest.
- [17:20]
Michael Bostick
Yeah, Time. And that is because we live in a culture that prizes busyness. I mean, you go to a cocktail party and people ask you how you're doing and everyone says, like, I'm busy. They like have this real pride around it. And people are supposed to come pat you on the back because you must be impressive if you're busy. And we use it to protect ourselves. At work, we say we're busy so that no one gets on our back or wonders what we're doing. And that kind of keeps you on this treadmill. Because what it means is that you say yes to absolutely every single thing. We do the opposite of what you're doing. We don't create the boundaries around the things. We say yes to everything to fill our schedules as much as possible. And when someone asks us to do something a month from now, we default to saying yes, even if we know that that thing is going to come and we're going to say, damn it, why did I say yes to doing that thing? I didn't want to. We fill our schedules, which are with a whole bunch of these. Like one for one, time for money, or time for whatever trades that actually just keep us still. Like, you become a rocking horse where you're just moving around and not getting anywhere.
- [18:19]
Sahil Bloom
I have a little tactic that I do for that. If it's a podcast guest or a dinner date or event and someone asked me to do it, and let's say it's a Monday, and I don't want to do it that night, and I don't want to interview that person that day, I say no.
- [18:37]
Michael Bostick
It's the best.
- [18:38]
Sahil Bloom
But it's taken me years to get here. If I don't want to do it in that moment, in that day, I'm not going to want to do it in a month. I'm just not. That's my little setback.
- [18:48]
Michael Bostick
It's 100% true. And the other one. So I do that for personal, and I think it's a great hack for professional opportunities. The one that I share in the book is, if you think about it and you say, let me assume that this is going to take twice as long as I currently think and be half as profitable. Do I still want to do it? Because we are so wired to be overly optimistic at the start of something like, you take on a new project, new opportunity, you're like, this is going to crush it, and it's going to take a year to do. Now assume it's going to take two years and it's going to be way less profitable. Do you still want to do it? Because if the answer is still yes, you should lean into the thing. It's going to be incredible. You're going to feel energized around it. But if the answer is no, just don't do it. Don't take it on.
- [19:29]
Sahil Bloom
What is the surfer mentality concept?
- [19:32]
Michael Bostick
This is one of my favorites.
- [19:34]
Sahil Bloom
I've dated some surfers, so I think I know. I know the surfer, not me.
- [19:40]
Michael Bostick
I'm scared of sharks, so I don't even surf. The surfer mentality is the idea that when a surfer gets up on a wave, they enjoy the present moment even though they know that the wave is eventually going to end and maybe even crash down on top of them. They're able to actually just enjoy this wave with the knowledge that there are always more waves coming in the future. And they know that the most important thing is that you can't catch any waves sitting on the shore. You have to put yourself in the water. That idea as it applies to your life is essential because the knowledge that there are always more waves coming is what allows you to just embrace whatever wave you're currently on. You may find yourself in this wave of grief, a wave of struggle, a wave of challenge. You may find yourself on a wave of growth, a wave of creation, this wave of incredible things happening. That wave is eventually going to end. And either way, whether it's good or bad, and recognizing it and being able to just appreciate it for what it is rather than trying to struggle against it or fight it, is such a calming and peaceful mentality for just navigating these natural seasons that your life has.
- [20:57]
Sahil Bloom
What's a wave that you were on recently? Like, what's your recent wave?
- [21:01]
Michael Bostick
I am very much in a wave of unbalance right now, okay? This idea of balance has been hijacked. Everyone that talks about balance has convinced you that your life needs to be balanced on like a micro daily basis. I need to have the perfect amount of family time and health and personal time and work in order to feel like I'm balanced. That's not how life works. You are going to have periods, seasons, waves of unbalanced that you need to just lean into in order to have the waves of balance later. And struggling against that actually just stresses you out and creates anxiety. It's okay to have a period, a wave when you are unbalanced, as long as you have the knowledge that you are trying to work towards a macro view where you have zoomed out more balance in the long run.
- [21:53]
Sahil Bloom
Michael and I look at our whole life like that. That's literally. It's literally how we look at our calendar. Like, we'll go to LA for a week and interview, you know, 15 people and it's. It's literally like balls to the Walls, work your ass off. But then when we come back the week after, it's like we'll have slime at the library or like Lego. Like, it's just you, you, it's, you're so right. It's not necessarily balance on a micro level. It's the macro level that you really.
- [22:21]
Lauren Everts
Look at the counter to that. I always kind of, I mean, Lauren and I have been together for a long time now and we've worked together in different capacities for a long time. And I always find it funny when I see these couples talking about how you need balance and like we carve out time to talk about the business and then not. I'm like, there's no such thing. Sometimes something is going on with the business and we want to have a date night, but something needs to be addressed and it derails the whole thing. Or sometimes, you know, we, we want the, you know, something happens with kids. The, the whole idea that like everything needs to be in balance all the time is actually more stressful.
- [22:52]
Michael Bostick
More stressful.
- [22:53]
Lauren Everts
100 and even for the parents out there and you're, you know, a parent yourself, like if your kid gets sick in the morning, that's what happens. One of my personal passions is talking to people of any age about taking control of their personal finances. Stress around money is one of the leading causes of couples separating. One of the leading causes of stress. If you're stressed all the time about money, you're going to be anxious, you're going to have anxiety that could lead to so many other things. This is why I love our partnership with Ynab on this podcast so much. Ynab spelled Y N A B is a life changing app that helps you do what you want with the money you have. You'll create a flexible plan for your money through the simple practice of giving every dollar a job, keeping you focused on the life you want. So whether you want to cover that mortgage payment fund, your 401k without sacrificing dinners with friends or that long awaited trip abroad with ynab, you'll stop wondering where your money goes and start deciding where it will take you. 92% of users report feeling less money stress since using YNAB. This is going to manifest in so many positive ways in your life. Just being less stressed about money, personal finance, keeping more in your pocket is going to be a total game changer. The average ynab user saved $600 in their first two months and $6,000 in the first year. Imagine what else you could do with an extra $6,000 in your pocket. So check it out, life is short. Spend it with YNAB. And right now, TSC, him and her listeners can claim an exclusive three month free trial with no credit card required at www.ynab.com skinny. Again, that's Y N A B dot com skinny. And right now, TSC, him and her listeners can claim an EXCLUSIVE three month free trial with NO credit card required@www.ynab.com skinny again, that's Y N A B.com skinny quick break to talk about AG1. Guys. If you've been listening to our show, then You've heard about AG1 for years now. We've gone on and on about why we love AG1, all the benefits we get from it. So today I decided we want to do something a little bit different. I'm going to call our assistant Katie because she's also a huge fan of AG1 and I'm going to get a third party review. Here we go. Hello, Katie. Welcome to the show. We're talking about AG1 here and I got you on speakerphone. What got you hooked on AG1 in the first place? Was it me? Was it Lauren? What was the thing?
- [25:13]
Sahil Bloom
Well, I mean, you guys are high performers, so anything that you're doing, I'm usually all bought in. I put fresh berries, I use chocolate protein, and then I use a big scoop of AG1. It's super efficient because it's all just in one smoothie right after I get home from the gym.
- [25:29]
Lauren Everts
And any specific benefits you've noticed since making it part of your routine?
- [25:32]
Sahil Bloom
For sure. I have definitely more energy in the morning and I don't have to go back for a second cup of coffee, which is normally my go to. And I'm definitely less bloated when I go to eat like a breakfast after I have my morning protein shake.
- [25:45]
Lauren Everts
It's the best. Thank you, Katie. All right, guys, so if you're ready to level up your health with something simple and effective, check out AG1. I've been drinking it for years now, and that's why I'm always so excited to share this partnership with you all and everyone else that I can talk to. So go to drinkag1.com skinny and save $20 when you subscribe. That's drinkag1.com skinny. It's time to simplify your morning routine with AG1. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com skinny and get on your way to being your best self. For years now, Lauren and I have had the privilege of talking to all sorts of different high performers on this show. Entrepreneurs, athletes, thought leaders, doctors, you name it, business leaders. And one common denominator that many of these high performers use throughout their life is therapy. This is why Lauren and I love being partners of BetterHelp on this show. Because BetterHelp lets anyone access therapy right from the comfort of their own home on any of their digital devices. Cost effectively we often hear about red flags we should avoid. But what if we focus more on looking for green flags and friends and partners? If you're not sure what they look like, therapy can help you identify green flags, actively practice them in your relationships, and embody the green flag energy yourself. So whether you're dating, married, building a friendship, or just working on yourself, it's time to form relationships that love you back. And like I said earlier, BetterHelp is fully online, making therapy affordable and convenient. Serving over 5 million people worldwide, you can access a diverse network of more than 30,000 credentialed therapists with a wide range of specialties. Easily switch therapists at any time at no extra cost, of course. We have an incredible offer for our listeners. Discover your relationship green flags with BetterHelp. Visit BetterHelp.com skinny today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp H-E-L-P.com betterhelp.com skinny Discover your relationship green flags with BetterHelp. Visit Betterhelp.com skinny today to get 10 percent off your first month. That's betterhelp H-E-L-P dot com skinny betterhelp.com skinny.
- [27:44]
Michael Bostick
I am in this period where I am very much focused on trying to share the ideas of this book and have it be as successful as possible and reach and impact as many people as possible. And that necessitates certain things about how much you're traveling, how much you're away, how much you're talking to people, how much you're working. That is very abnormal for me relative to how I would normally like to live my life, in particular as it relates to the amount of time I'm getting to spend with my son. He's two and a half years old, so like every day is precious with him right now and so I'm hyper aware of when I'm away. He's old enough now that he actually understands it and that makes it tough. But to your point, for me to try to fight against that and stress over it rather than just being aligned with my wife that this is a one time push that you really need to do. And on the back end of that book a week where we're going to go to Naples, Florida and be totally off the grid and completely away and shut off, know that the wave of unbalance is going to come to an end and that you can embrace this wave of balance that very much is a, is a mentality that helps. It's also, it's all of these areas. Look, we live in this like optimization culture now where everything is about optimize every area of your life perfectly, optimize all your routines, all, you know, all the health, biohacking stuff. You know, I spent time with Brian Johnson, interviewed him as part of this book. And while I think that stuff is incredibly important because it expands the, you know, the window of what is interest like, is what acceptable discourse on a topic getting too routine, oriented around everything can be more harmful than good because as soon as your kid gets sick and you're not able to do your cold plunge in the morning, you freak out and you can't get anything done. That's not super helpful to how you live your life.
- [29:30]
Lauren Everts
Yeah, we love Brian and we spent a good amount of time with him, but he's got a very strict routine.
- [29:36]
Michael Bostick
Yeah, but he has his mission. And I admire it so much that he is sharing what he's sharing and documenting it in the way that he is. And I think he's remarkable. I don't want to live the way that he's living, but I think he does a great job of sort of distilling down the basics of what you can do, like what you can take from this and learn from it.
- [29:54]
Lauren Everts
His message is phenomenal and he's a, he couldn't be a nicer guy. But yeah, I think like to your.
- [29:59]
Sahil Bloom
Point, his, his definition of success, of course, is what he's doing. If you look at the time he's spending his time, what he wants to totally the social, that's how he wants to be. The mental, the physical, the financial. He's hitting the five types of wealth in his.
- [30:16]
Lauren Everts
I was gonna say, couldn't have said it any better. I think that the reason society has such a hard time with someone like him is because that is somebody living life on their terms, the way they define success. And we as a population have got it in our minds that success looks like one thing.
- [30:33]
Sahil Bloom
Yes.
- [30:34]
Lauren Everts
And it's in a lot of cases, it's not that I could say for me, one of the, like my definition of success is that I can work with my wife. And when we go on date night, we're talking about the business and we never turn it off. And then we go to LA and work like fiends and that we don't like. I'm not saying that's what it is, but the point is some of the people are like, that sounds like a miserable life. And so I've always, like, throughout my life, I've been fortunate enough not ever to play the comparison game, because I've recognized that in order to play that game, you have to be willing to 100% change every aspect of your life for someone else's.
- [31:07]
Sahil Bloom
What's your definition of success?
- [31:09]
Lauren Everts
My definition of success has always been to have autonomy over my time and to be able to say yes and no to things that I want to say yes and no to. I don't like to be put in a box. I like to be able to have fluidity. I like, I love to simple. I love the idea of simplifying it to just like, you drummed it up nicely, which is being able to just jump in the pool with your kids at 1:00. Like, that's a very clear and concise definition. But it's similar. Like, I want to be able to control my time, do what I want, when I want without stressing over that decision. And I would maybe add to that without being in a situation where I feel undignified. And this is going to sound like an asshole thing to say about thinking about the cost of doing that. Meaning, like, if I go to a dinner or I go to a trip or I travel a certain way, I don't want to even spend time thinking about what it costs. I just want to do the thing. It doesn't have to be extravagant. I just want to be able to do it.
- [32:04]
Michael Bostick
I think the way that you articulated it is perfect too. Which is to say so much of the debate that we have over other people's lives. When people on the Internet get mad about Brian or when, you know, someone yells at me or I yell at, like, it's always because I'm trying to take my map of what success looks like and apply it to someone else's terrain. You're projecting. Exactly. So part of what's so empowering about this idea is that there are a lot of people out there in the world who do not feel successful based on the traditional definition, but are crushing it according to this definition. One of my good friends from my. From my college years moved back home after getting a Stanford degree and became a gym teacher and coaches the high school sports teams. Traditional definition of success. It's like you got a Stanford degree and now you're coaching high school sports, probably making 50, $60,000 a year, not really doing great. But he lives close to his entire family, has two beautiful children. He's super fit because he gets to work out all the time. He loves working with kids, loves coaching, has tons of free time because he works like 9 to 3 on a daily basis. He is living a very wealthy life in my perspective. And according to his, he is very, very happy and fulfilled. And so just because the definition of success doesn't line up with what I would want or what you would want, it doesn't mean he's not successful. We're applying our map to his terrain.
- [33:27]
Lauren Everts
And I think guys like that really win in life because they have the mechanism and the muscle to not compare themselves and think that they're lacking something. Like, I have a friend, just like we have a friend and beautiful kid, beautiful wife, works out all the time, gets to play golf, gets to hang out, like, stable, doesn't think about what anyone else is doing. I'm like, that person is genuinely happy. Now, on the flip side, I know other people that are absolutely killing it. They're financially better off than anyone. They've got a, you know, wife and kid that they don't really spend as much time. Time. They're not in the best shape and they're miserable. But on the surface, like, they have all the credentials and all the degrees and all the businesses and all things, but they're miserable. Like, it. This is a hard thing to say for people that have not experienced financial wealth yet. But I. Jim Carrey said it better. Like you. I wish everybody could experience that to realize that, like, it's really like, I know more unhappy rich people than I do happy rich people.
- [34:17]
Michael Bostick
My entire life changed when I realized that the people that I read books about, I would never trade lives with. Seriously. I mean, I would read all of these business books about these successful billionaires, all of these things, and I would think about their lives, and I would never trade lives with them. You couldn't pay me any amount of money to trade lives with some of these people because I don't. I'm not willing to pay the cost that they had to pay for their success. Because in life there's kind of like, there's the list price that you see for achieving that success, which is like the hours of hard work that you have to put in the good idea, the good luck that you had. But then there's the real price, which is all the trade offs of other things along the way. And there is a lot of things in life that look like a good deal based on the list price, but are a rip off when you consider the real price.
- [35:04]
Lauren Everts
Or I'll give you like another thing to think about. What if I told you, hey, Sahil, you can go to all of the best parties in the world whenever you want. I will pay you hundreds of millions of dollars. You can fly private anytime you want. In exchange, when you walk out of your house, there's going to be 30 camera people. They're going to take pictures of your kid. When you go to eat with your wife, they're going to be somebody snapping and asking you questions. If you say anything that's out of context at any time, every publication is going to write about it. You will have no privacy for the rest of your life. People will, as you're swimming with your son, will stand in your bushes and take pictures of your house. Like, would you want that? That's what many a list traditional celebrities go through. And people, we glamorize these lives and you know, we've met many of these people. But to your point, I wouldn't trade lives with these people. I wouldn't want that. I wouldn't want my children at the mercy of that. And again, like, we think that these things, we put these things on a pedestal and we think that they're so important. And then you get faced with the reality. Like most people would say, that's great to have all those things. But what if, what if every party you went to and every restaurant you went to, somebody was standing there taking a picture and waiting for you to slip up. Oh, you drank a little too much. Oh, you did something you shouldn't have done. We're watching sucks.
- [36:20]
Michael Bostick
People want the good, but they never consider the bad. And so it's another reason why I think this whole idea of thinking about these different five types of wealth is important when you make a decision in life. Because the traditional scoreboard in your mind is just money. So if someone were to come offer you a job and they're going to pay you $10 million a year, you would be like, yeah, whatever, whatever you want me to do, I'm taking that $10 million a year. But then when you start to consider these other types of wealth and the impact, you might have a different decision. Because if they tell you, okay, you have to move away from your family, you're going to be 300 days out of the year on the road, flying around. You have to work 80 hours a week on something that you hate doing and you're going to be, you know, stressed out of your mind all the time because it's something you don't love, then would you do it? Well, now it's a different consideration because I have this different framing that I can look at it on. Yes, financial wealth is going to be a big positive, but my time, my social wealth, my mental wealth and my physical wealth are all going to take a huge hit. So now I can actually evaluate the trade offs that it's going to have on my entire life rather than just this one area.
- [37:23]
Lauren Everts
The problem is, and you know this, and I think this is, I don't want to say it's not for women as well, but I think young men in particular, and I can easily say that I was one of these. When you have less experience like that and someone says you're going to get $10 million and you're going to stop you, a lot of these guys are like, I don't care, like for sure. Like nine out of ten dudes are like, I'll take the wealth well in.
- [37:45]
Michael Bostick
Your 20s, I actually think you should give me that opportunity.
- [37:48]
Lauren Everts
But then by the time you get to your 30s, if you've sacrificed your health and your mental well being, like now you've got a decade of cleanup. And I think that that's something that you can experience unless you go through it. And unfortunately, you know, financial wealth is one of those things that until you obtain it for yourself, you, you can't understand that it actually doesn't solve as many problems as you think think, yeah.
- [38:10]
Michael Bostick
Money solves money problems. It doesn't solve any of the other ones. And it turns out that most of life is other problems. Once you get past a certain baseline level, and that's the whole ethos is like, money isn't nothing, it simply can't be the only thing. And you need to focus on building financial wealth at some time in your life. It does have a big, big impact. It will buy you happiness in the early years of your life. That's why I think that concept of the waves or the seasons is really important because what it means is that you can have a season of life. When you are focused on building financial wealth in your 20s and early 30s, that's a great time for most people to focus on building their career, building that financial wealth base that will compound for the rest of your life. But as you get into future seasons of life. Starting to think about these other types and starting to prioritize others potentially is a really healthy and fulfilling pursuit.
- [39:02]
Sahil Bloom
I am a big fan of thinking time. It's my favorite time. I carve time every single day to just think. And I got the idea from Keith Cunningham. I still want you to read that book. Or maybe you did read it. The Road Less Stupid. You talk about.
- [39:20]
Lauren Everts
I read that whole book. It's a great book.
- [39:21]
Sahil Bloom
It's a great book. You talk about Think Day. Talk about that. Tell us about that.
- [39:28]
Michael Bostick
The Think Day is an adaptation on Bill Gates's Think Week Practice. So in the 1980s, Bill Gates started doing this thing where he would go off the grid for an entire week, and he would just bring a bunch of reading, and he would basically just read and think and learn for a week. And the whole idea was that it allowed him to zoom out, see the bigger picture. And he ended up crediting it with a lot of the transformative decisions that they made at Microsoft over the years. My own adaptation of that was I don't have a week. But a Think Day is a nice way to force myself to zoom out on a regular basis. So the starting point for this is once a month, carve out two hours. Get out of your normal environment, which is very important. Get out of the headspace that you would normally be in. So go to a new coffee shop, rent a house, or rent a space for a couple hours. Go somewhere that's different. Bring a journal and a pen and basically nothing else. And go through a few question prompts that you can think on that force you to zoom out from your current position and see a bigger lay of the land. My favorite one right now is if you were the main character in a movie of your life, what would the audience be screaming at you to do right now? We've all sort of had this experience that you're watching a movie or TV show and you just want to jump through the screen and, like, shake the main character, chase the girl to the airport, or don't go down into that basement, whatever. The thing is, you are that main character in the movie of your life. And there is something that the audience would be screaming at you right in this moment, something blindingly obvious that you are just choosing to ignore as you're sitting on the ground. What is it and what do you need to change?
- [41:18]
Sahil Bloom
Was yours to write this book? Because people don't write books for money. I don't think people write books for money. I think the people that I'VE met that come on this show, write books because they have a book in them that they cannot comprehend. They have to get, they have to let it out. That's the common denominator.
- [41:36]
Michael Bostick
I think that's true. I think that's true because it takes too long and it's just not profitable. At some point. I think there are people that write books because it's like part of their business ecosystem. Right.
- [41:46]
Sahil Bloom
It's like a business card.
- [41:47]
Michael Bostick
I just wanted to write this book.
- [41:49]
Sahil Bloom
So it was like you had to get it out.
- [41:51]
Michael Bostick
Yeah. Because the ideas had changed my life.
- [41:54]
Sahil Bloom
Yeah.
- [41:55]
Michael Bostick
And I wanted other people to share that benefit.
- [41:58]
Sahil Bloom
So were you shaking your main character? Is that what you were shaking your main character?
- [42:02]
Michael Bostick
That was one of. That was definitely mine three years ago when I started this project. I mean, this has taken three years. So three years ago. Yes. More recently it had to do with this book as well, which was. I realized that there are times in my life when I don't give 100% effort to something because I'm afraid of what will happen if I do give a hundred percent and still fail.
- [42:24]
Sahil Bloom
Give an example.
- [42:26]
Michael Bostick
I was not going all in on the marketing of this book because I was trying to create an excuse in my mind if it didn't go well that I could say, well, I didn't really give it my all. So of course it didn't do all of my expectations. I was sort of self sabotaging through this like self protect. It was like a self protection mechanism grounded in fear. By the way.
- [42:50]
Lauren Everts
I think that's a lot of people. I think that's a lot of people with a lot of things.
- [42:54]
Sahil Bloom
Well, for me I can relate to you because when I, when I did my first two books, I. You're, you're nervous to like shove it in people's face because you don't want to be like, buy this. Because that feels a little bit cheesy. But then as an outsider, as I look at like a Mel Robbins, she's so behind her book. And I think what it is that translates is she's behind her message. And I think that, that with you, like I, and you know, we could talk about this on air, off air. I think that you are so behind your message. So I think that's what the audience would feel if you talk about your book. But I relate to you though, on, on the other hand, because with my first two books I didn't want to be like, buy my book, buy my book, buy my book. But what I've realized with My next book, I am going to be like Mel Robbins. Because I do want the message of my next book to be in people's faces, and it's not to make money and it's not to hock the book. It's because I really want the message in these people's hands. And I think your book has such a great message that you should get behind it and whore it out.
- [44:04]
Lauren Everts
But I think. I think people do this now.
- [44:05]
Michael Bostick
I'm empowered. So now you're buy this book. Buy this book.
- [44:10]
Lauren Everts
No, but I think we do. We do this in all sorts. We do this. It's why we don't launch businesses. It's why we don't quit that job. It's why even, like, simple things like, we don't post on social media because we're worried that it's not going to get as many likes or as many comments or as many shares. Like, you. You hold. You do these things and you hold yourself back so that you, to your point, you have the escape hatch of saying, like, oh, well, it would have worked. You get. You get to maintain the illusion that you are great or better than or capable without having to take the plunge to fail.
- [44:38]
Sahil Bloom
Go look at. Go. Mel is a really good example because go look at her Instagram. Every single thing is a post of her book. And she's posting on every podcast. She went on, like, 20 podcasts. And it's not even shameless. It's that she just wants the message in everyone's hands. And I think that that's why I don't feel like I'm being sold to. It's like she's excited about the message. And your message is so great.
- [45:01]
Michael Bostick
You aren't afraid of failure. You're afraid of what other people will think of you if you fail.
- [45:09]
Lauren Everts
Sure.
- [45:09]
Sahil Bloom
Yeah.
- [45:09]
Michael Bostick
It's like the spotlight effect, right? There's two big mistakes in life. One is worrying about what other people think about you, and the other is believing that other people think about you in the first place.
- [45:19]
Sahil Bloom
Right.
- [45:19]
Michael Bostick
Because no one is thinking about you. Everyone's just worried about themselves.
- [45:22]
Sahil Bloom
Exactly. My next book, though, I'm gonna be, like, spreading my legs.
- [45:26]
Michael Bostick
I'm looking forward to social media. I'm looking forward to that.
- [45:30]
Sahil Bloom
I don't care. I'm gonna be like, I want every woman to have this book in their hands. I'm gonna be, like, obsessed with it all over.
- [45:37]
Michael Bostick
I do think if you're proud of the thing that you've created, that you should feel proud to put it out into the world. Like, if you truly put your heart into something and you can tell that Mel feels that way about the things that she's done, and that's inspiring. I, and I do feel that. I mean, I spent the last three years, every single day working on something for three years. Like, I do. I feel like at some point you owe it to yourself. It's not like you owe it to anybody else. You owe it to yourself to put your heart into something. After you've put that energy, I think.
- [46:05]
Sahil Bloom
You should get on and say, lauren Bostick made me get on to do a two minute reel to tell you all the takeaways of this book when this episode goes live.
- [46:13]
Lauren Everts
And by the way, we're doing this show and we were talking about this off air before we started and, you know, it's been, like I said, 800 of these things. And if you go back to the early episodes, they're honestly, they're atrocious. Episode one is still up. It is so bad. It's so cringey. Like, we're.
- [46:29]
Sahil Bloom
Speak on your own behalf.
- [46:30]
Michael Bostick
It's just the two of you.
- [46:31]
Lauren Everts
No, Lauren, it was, it was bad. I mean, the. Everything was. It was. I mean, we're in our kitchen.
- [46:35]
Sahil Bloom
I'm my own biggest fan.
- [46:36]
Michael Bostick
But the point is, like, that's a skill in life, by the way.
- [46:39]
Sahil Bloom
I am, and I guarantee you're lucky to be in my presence.
- [46:43]
Lauren Everts
You could go through 800 of these and if you're determined enough and if you look like you'll find a lot of not great episodes, like, it's just. And I think as I look back now, I look back fondly on those because it's just like, you never know when something's gonna resonate. And what we were saying earlier is it only takes that one or that two for people to be like, oh, this thing's great. And they completely forgot how shitty episode one was, you know, and honestly, even if they brought. If someone came to me and I was like, hey, I listened to episode one and it was so fucking. Do you think I'm going to go like, oh, my God, somebody came in.
- [47:14]
Sahil Bloom
I think you're only good as last week's episode.
- [47:16]
Lauren Everts
But the point is that I keep.
- [47:17]
Sahil Bloom
That in my head all the time so you don't get cocky.
- [47:19]
Michael Bostick
My old baseball coach used to say that you're only as good as your last pitch.
- [47:22]
Lauren Everts
But I don't look at it. Like, if somebody came to me, like, it's so bad, I would kind of just laugh about it at this point.
- [47:26]
Michael Bostick
That also should be a point of pride because it means that you've made progress. I always say that, that you should always cringe at the 6 month ago version of yourself because that means that you're growing as a person. That cringe feeling is actually a sign of personal growth. Growth.
- [47:39]
Lauren Everts
Yeah. I was in the aviation space before this and I just tell this story. We made these beds for it's super tangent, but I anyways, one of the first initial products we did, I would, I remember I was on somebody's private plane wearing some stupid polo, trying to like act all official and I go and I lay on the bed in front to give the demonstration and we had not like it was our prototype. The whole thing burst at the seams and I flew on the floor and was laying like crumbled up in a ball on this guy's floor. And it was one of the most mortifying experiences ever because here I was saying like this is a groundbreaking product, it went on to be a great success. But I just, I look back on that and I laugh. And the point is, is you have to go through these renditions and these iterations of, you know, whatever it is, a relationship or a business or a content, because you don't, you don't get to the other side without those experiences. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. Squarespace is the all in one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. Whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience and sell anything from products to content to time, all in one place, all on your own terms. For years, Lauren and I have been building online businesses, we've been investing in them, we've been partnering with them, and of course we've done our own. What I love about Squarespace is that long gone are the days we had to bring on 15 different developers and graphic designers and all of these different expenses services and take months and months to complete a website. You can do it all now, cost effectively in one place, simply without confusion with Squarespace. So whether you've been looking to build a side hustle, your own online platform, your own e comm store, whatever it may be, courses, email lists, Squarespace has something for you. It is so important to not only own your own content, but your own domains and your own platforms. On the Internet, many of us rely on third party social platforms, which is great, but you're at the mercy of those platforms and we've seen over the years those become real vulnerable for people that are trying to build their own online presence. So own your own content, own your own website, own your own e comm store. Squarespace can help you do all of that. They have all sorts of different tools and engines to help you do so. Go to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're Ready to launch squarespace.com skinny to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain, again, that's squarespace.com skinny let's talk about the Farmer's dog. We're in a new year. We're all making resolutions. How to take care of ourselves more, how to get better health results, how to perform better. We also need to make sure we're also taking care of our dogs. This is why we love the farmer's dogs so much and have loved them for years. What makes them so different is that food from the farmer's dog is developed by on staff board certified vets and veterinary nutritionists to be complete and balanced. Ever since Lauren and I switched our dogs to this kind of food from the farmer's dog, they are thriving. Their coats are shinier, they're healthier, they're happier and they just feel better. It's made from human grade real meat and veggies that are gently cooked with the safety and quality standards standards of human food. Even the best traditional dry and wet dog food options are highly processed and because pet food is very loosely regulated, they can use much lower quality ingredients than they claim to. The farmer's dog does not do that. The farmer's dog delivers their freshly made healthy dog food right to your door on a schedule that works for you and can be adjusted anytime within their 24 hour customer support period. The food is nutritionally complete for all life stages including puppies, so you can start at any time. It's just real healthy food designed to meet their unique nutritional needs needs. We have an older dog and a younger dog and like I said, it doesn't matter if your dog is young or old. It's always the right time to begin investing in their health. That means more happy, healthy and full years together. And we have an incredible offer for our listeners. Get 50 off your first box of fresh healthy food at the farmersdog.com skinny. Plus you get free shipping. Just go to the farmersdog.com skinny to get 50 off. That's thefarmersdog.com skinny quick break to talk about Hyah Health. One of the top questions Lorna and I get in our DMs and on this show is what supplements do you take? What's the best for me to take? What else would you recommend? One question we don't get nearly enough is what should you be giving your children? Which supplements and vitamins are great for them? This is why I'm so excited to talk about Hya health. Typical children's vitamins are basically candy in disguise, filled with two teaspoons of sugar, unhealthy chemicals and other gummy additives growing kids should never, never eat. That's why Haya created a superpowered chewable vitamin. While many children's vitamins are filled with 5 grams of sugar, which is known to contribute to a variety of health issues, Haya is made with zero sugar and zero gummy additives. We give our children Haya every single morning. They ask for it, they look forward to it and most importantly, they enjoy it. It tastes great and is perfect for picky eaters. And Haya fills the most common gaps in modern children's diets to provide the full body nourishment our kids need with a yummy taste they love. Formulated with the help of pediatricians and nutritional experts, Haya is pressed with a blend of 12 organic fruits and veg, then supercharged with 15 essential vitamins and minerals including vitamin D, B12C, zinc, folate and many others to help support immune systems, energy, brain function, mood, concentration, teeth, bones and more. Of course it's non gmo, vegan, dairy free, allergy free, gelatin free, nut free and everything else you can imagine. Free. Every single batch is third party tested. We love this product and company so much, so check it out. We've worked out a special deal with Haya for their best selling children's vitamin recipe. Receive 50 off your first order. To claim this deal you must go to hiahealth.com skinny this deal is not available on their regular website. Go to H I Y-A H-E-A-L-T-.com skinny and get your kids the full body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults again. Hi health.com skinny.
- [53:11]
Sahil Bloom
What are the four types of professional time and how do you manage your professional days for the highest, highest quality outputs?
- [53:18]
Michael Bostick
Oh, you're gonna love this one. I can't believe we've never talked about this. Actually I haven't sent a newsletter on this either. This is good. So I had this realization that the way that most people spend their time in their professional life is effectively one thing which is management time. Management time is emails, meetings, processing. It's the like boring Basic business things. And the vast majority of people end up spending like 80% of their professional life life just doing management tasks. It bleeds out all over your calendar. But there are three other types of professional time that are actually the things that drive you forward. Those are creation. That's when you're actually creating things, building things. It could be coding, writing, you know, creating presentations, whatever those things are creation. There is ideation, which is the thinking time that no one has in their calendar to actually zoom out and think about the bigger picture questions in the business. And then there is consumption, which is the idea of actually consuming new ideas, reading, listening to things, having conversations with the idea being anything you create is downstream from something you consume. So bringing good ideas in the top is what allows you to put good ideas out into the world. The message there is, you need to first figure out what is your current mix of time in your calendar. Go look at your calendar. You could do the color coding again and color code according to those four types, management, creation, ideation and consumption. Look at what your calendar looks like and then figure out how can I batch management time a little bit more effectively? Like squeeze it into blocks so that I can create time for these other types? Because your entire professional life will change when you find a way to carve out better windows of time for those other three types that are getting squeezed.
- [55:07]
Sahil Bloom
I am so happy you talk about this because I what I've gathered, talking to people is they think it's lazy to have thinking time. They think it's lazy to have consumption time. If I don't have those buckets, I cannot effectively do any kind of management or talk to employ. I have to, I have to have time to wrap my head around it. Sometimes I take my thinking time as a workout. Like I'll go work out and use that whole time to think. I think it's so important and I think it's also important that it to know it's not lazy. It's essential. In my opinion.
- [55:47]
Michael Bostick
The most successful people in the world, billionaires on through like historical figures that thrived in their various jobs. Every single one of them has this one common thread which is they actually have time dedicated in their calendar for thinking and learning.
- [56:00]
Sahil Bloom
I think on the first podcast, and I could be wrong that you came on, I think it was you that said that there was a billionaire that you knew that like took two hours of his day. Was that you that said that it.
- [56:13]
Michael Bostick
Could have been me? I know a few billionaires, unfortunately, I don't know.
- [56:18]
Sahil Bloom
It was earlier okay, Someone said exactly what you just said. This, this billionaire that they knew. Like he has two hours of every day where it's. And it's not together. He has 30 minutes in the morning, 30 minutes in the middle of the day, and then like two hours at night where he. I didn't do the math right, but you get it.
- [56:36]
Michael Bostick
Yeah.
- [56:36]
Sahil Bloom
Where he has spaces throughout the day just to do nothing.
- [56:39]
Michael Bostick
I mean, the best, the most successful CEOs in the world all do that. You can look on the back cover of the book. Tim Cook is the first blurb on the back of this book. He's been a mentor and friend for 10 plus years. He creates space in his life on a daily and weekly basis to think about the bigger picture questions that are facing Apple. Otherwise he would just be caught in this infinite loop. There's always work he could be doing, there's always emails he could be responding to, things he could be doing, but then he wouldn't get to read and understand some of the bigger picture strategic things that they're facing. Which for the size of that company, like there's geopolitical things, there's plenty, there's all sorts of stuff. And so for him to actually have the space in his life, part of that can be like working out. You don't have headphones in and you're just able to think while you're on a run or while you're working out. That is space that you're creating in your life. It's the reason that space as an idea is such an unlock for your professional and personal life.
- [57:33]
Sahil Bloom
I think it's like being, it's like being proactive as opposed to reactive. Who are other people that have been featured in this book besides Tim and Brian, that really resonated for you?
- [57:44]
Michael Bostick
Normal people? I think the most impactful story in the book is a woman named Alexis Lockhart who actually came to me with her story about a week before I was supposed to turn in the final draft of this book and it ended up delaying the entire book because as soon as she sent me her story, she responded to one of my email newsletters and wrote this long piece back to me telling me her story. And I realized this has. I have to explore this. So we ended up spending time together and her story was about an incredible tragedy, which was her son, who had just turned 20, was killed in a car crash. And her message of the importance of time and of this idea that it's always later than you think, that the amount of time you have left with the People you love most is so much more finite and countable than you appreciate. That message inspired me so deeply and made me want to share it with the world. And I just can't imagine anyone reading that and not feeling sparked to action, to text the person that they love, to get together with that old friend, to cherish that one moment they have with their kid, to go and see their parents for that visit that they weren't planning to take. All of these things are actions that build your wealth, that compound in your life in the same way any financial investment does. And that message, I just think, is one that needs to be spread.
- [59:22]
Sahil Bloom
You have been very open about you and your wife's journey with infertility. Talk to us about that.
- [59:30]
Michael Bostick
This is a topic that a lot of people don't talk about publicly, especially men. It's rather stigmatized, and it's one that people typically choose to suffer with in silence. You know, this monthly strain of, like, getting your hopes up that it's going to be the month when things worked, and then having the letdown and then the struggle that you experience around that, waiting for the next month. That was a really painful and challenging experience for us. And it was two years of really feeling that and feeling it in a very lonely state because it was during COVID it in a time when we lived in California where we were really locked down and not able to be around people that might have brought us some of the.
- [60:17]
Lauren Everts
What area were you in?
- [60:17]
Michael Bostick
Uplift. We lived in Northern. Northern, like, Bay Area.
- [60:20]
Sahil Bloom
And so tell us, like, like you decide to get pregnant. You and tell us how that works and walk us through the timeline.
- [60:27]
Michael Bostick
Yeah, we were. Let's see, this is like 2019. We had been married for, at that time, three plus years. We started to think about having children. We'd been dating since high school, so this was like, you know, a long time coming in some ways. And if I'm being totally honest with myself, which I've never really said publicly, we decided to have children. I would say my focus as a human being was still so narrowly and myopically focused on making money. And I think that that impacts your ability to get pregnant. I don't. I have no science to support that idea, But I think that the energy that you are putting out into the world gets reflected in what you see and what manifests in reality. And I think that the burden of infertility is something that the woman carries, and not rightfully so in many cases. And in our case, I would place that burden on myself because I Think that my headspace, my stress levels, which stress levels are proven to impact infertility, my health, inner and outer health, health. Were not in a place that would have been conducive to us getting pregnant. And the reason that I feel I have definitive proof around that is because in May of 2021, when I had that realization about our lives and we decided to make this change, we, within 45 days, sold our house in California, I left my job that I was in, and we moved to the east coast to be closer to both of our families. Within two weeks of getting to our new place, we found out that my wife was pregnant. Naturally. And I'm not a particularly religious person, but it was one of those moments in life when you just feel like God winked at you. Like when things fall into alignment, everything just falls into place as it should. And that's been the greatest blessing in our life. That has been our center in our true north, our sun. And the journey with him and the amount of gratitude that it brings us to have been able to bring him into this world and be able to build that relationship with him. I can't put it into words.
- [62:41]
Sahil Bloom
I totally agree with you, and I get in trouble for this, but one of my girlfriends came to me and she's like, I've been trying to get pregnant for five months, Lauren, and I can't get pregnant. And I was like, that's an affirmation. She's saying, I can't get pregnant. I can't get pregnant. And listen, I don't have anything to scientifically, like, tell anyone anything, but with my three pregnancies, I have gone into it saying, I'm going to get pregnant. I'm open, I'm ready to get pregnant. And I believe that your mindset or your stress or your stress around getting pregnant impacts what happens or even, like.
- [63:27]
Lauren Everts
You know, for people that are, you know, what have we been called woo woo before? And, you know, I think, you know.
- [63:33]
Sahil Bloom
I am woo woo.
- [63:34]
Lauren Everts
We're spiritual in that way where, like, I think energy is a real thing and stress is a real thing. I think, like, the. The counter to all of that is even if you don't believe in some of the things we're talking about, like asking yourself, are those other thoughts and ideas serving you? Like, is it really worth it? Do you think being that stressed and focused on things like finances is helping you achieve a goal of fertility? Or do you think telling yourself you can't is going to help? It's like anything else. Like, I guarantee you, if you come in and say, I can't make money and I'm gonna be poor forever. Like, you're gonna not make money and you're gonna be poor forever.
- [64:05]
Michael Bostick
I also.
- [64:06]
Sahil Bloom
How many times have you heard stories, yours being one of them, where people have so much stress around the pregnancy, and then they do ivf, and there's so much stress around that, and every month it's not pregnant, not pregnant, not pregnant. And then they get off IVF and they stop stressing and they get pregnant naturally. We've heard so many stories like that. It's. You almost have to, like, go into it being, like, telling yourself what you want to happen as opposed to what you don't want.
- [64:30]
Michael Bostick
Stress does. Scientifically, stress does impact fertility. I mean, it lowers sperm count. Like, there is real scientific backing to some of what you're saying there. And I look, I mean, one of my favorite quotes, there's this beautiful quote Mario Quintana said. Don't waste your time chasing butterflies. Mend your garden, and the butterflies will come. And the whole idea is that your internal reality creates your external reality. So mend your internal reality. Focus there. The things that you want in life will come to you when you are ready for them.
- [65:01]
Lauren Everts
Yeah, you know, we were talking to Tony Robbins, as you mentioned, we were coming here, and he. One of the things he said is, your focus is your reality. Like, it's just the human mind. What we focus on becomes true for us. So you and I can be looking at the same. Like, we could be on the same financial plane. And if I'm saying I have so much and this is such an abundant life, and everything in my life is so great, and you're looking at that same picture with the exact same financial circumstances, saying, I don't have enough. Other people have more. I'll never be enough. Like, that's your truth and this is mine. It's the same picture, same exact circumstances. It's just you get to choose how you look at it, and I get to choose. Not that you do, but. But that's the same thing. It's like if you're constantly telling yourself, I'm so stressed, I don't have enough. This isn't working. It's never going to work. I'm never going to be happy. Like that. That becomes your reality.
- [65:48]
Michael Bostick
It is. I mean, we're narrative creatures. We're storytelling creatures. That's actually what allowed humans to survive and thrive as a species. But it has a dark side, which is you just seek out evidence that confirms the story that you're currently telling yourself. And if that story is a positive one, that's a great thing. But if it's a negative one, which it is for many of us, we have these stories that we tell ourselves that do not serve our life or where we want to go. These stories where we say we're not smart enough, we're not capable of these things. We're not able to do this thing that we want to do. You will find evidence to confirm that story around you, and you will ignore every piece of evidence that would refute it.
- [66:26]
Sahil Bloom
Yeah.
- [66:27]
Lauren Everts
You know, and I also like, and I've caught flack for saying this in the past, I think as a society, we glorify being humble to the point of where people feel they can't celebrate themselves. So listen, it's a great human virtue to be humble. I get all that, what I've said on this show, like, if people heard the way that I talk to myself in my mind, they'd be like, this guy is so arrogant and so full of himself and so overconfident. But the way I view it, I.
- [66:49]
Sahil Bloom
Do hear it when you're in the shower.
- [66:50]
Lauren Everts
But the way I view it is.
- [66:51]
Sahil Bloom
If I'm, it's a narration, inner monologue that I get to do.
- [66:55]
Lauren Everts
Shut your mouth for a second. If I won't talk to myself like that and I won't be my biggest fan, why can I expect everybody else to do that for me? And I think, think people are not as kind to themselves as they should be. Like, I, I, I don't mind being delusional in some ways to tell myself that I'm great and that I'm enough and that, like, I can do anything because I don't think anybody else is going to do it for me. And so when I see sometimes, especially young guys that I talk to and they're beating themselves up or they're, you know, they're trying to quote, unquote, humble themselves. And, you know, maybe they have a partner that's saying they need to calm down. I'm like, it's okay. Like, like push yourself up a bit because we have enough people in the society and enough people telling you you're not enough. And so, like, my perspective on that is, like, you should be somewhat delusional at times in the support of yourself because that's, that's going to propel you to think in an abundant way all the time. Now, you don't want to go to the point where you are so arrogant that you are, you know, making People feel bad or being delusional to the point where that arrogance is shining in a way that's being destructive to others. But I don't think there's anything wrong with being your biggest cheerleader.
- [68:06]
Michael Bostick
I think Kanye west once said, well, now we're gonna. No, I do think Kanye west once said something to the effect of, everyone's always telling you to be humble. When's the last time someone told you to be great?
- [68:19]
Lauren Everts
Yeah, that's. He said it better than me. Yeah, but it's true. I mean, how many times has somebody told you to humble yourself? And listen, there's probably been rightful times where you should. But to your point, how many times has has someone come to you and said, like, you should talk to yourself like, you're the greatest champion. Like, people just don't do that.
- [68:36]
Michael Bostick
Yeah, you hope you can tell your kids that. It seems like a great message to tell your kids. I always love those videos you come across every now and then of, like, someone telling their little kid to, like, look in the mirror and, like, fire themself up for the day. It's so cute. But you're also, like, what a great message to send your kid to just, like, look at themselves every now and then and just appreciate who they are and what they're strong, like, what they are grateful for, what they feel great about themselves. Because you get beat down otherwise, of course.
- [69:04]
Sahil Bloom
What do you hope that people get out of your message?
- [69:08]
Michael Bostick
I hope that people take the time to think about what they truly want out of life. Life. Not what the world tells you you should want. Not what your parents tell you you should want. Not what social media tells you, not what your friends tell you, but what you truly want. And then I hope people take one tiny action to go and build towards that life.
- [69:33]
Lauren Everts
It's a good message.
- [69:34]
Sahil Bloom
The five types of wealth A transformational guide to design your dream life. Where can everyone find you by the book Pimp yourself out?
- [69:43]
Michael Bostick
Really?
- [69:43]
Lauren Everts
Pimp the book out. This is.
- [69:44]
Michael Bostick
Yeah, I love it. I love it. You can buy the book anywhere books are sold. You can find more information@the5typesofwealth.com and you can find me at Sahil Bloom on.
- [69:54]
Sahil Bloom
Any major platform and subscribe to his newsletter. My God.
- [69:58]
Lauren Everts
Phenomenal newsletter. Congratulations on this. Three years in the making. Not everyone can do this. It's all. It's. It's not an easy task. You should be proud of it in no matter what happens. But I know it's gonna be a great.
- [70:08]
Sahil Bloom
I'm just telling you my energetic channels are feeling. New York Times bestseller.
- [70:13]
Michael Bostick
Well, I hope your energetic channels are right.
- [70:15]
Sahil Bloom
Yeah, I'm feeling it for you. And I think that you just keep telling yourself that that's what's gonna happen. I. I think this is gonna be up there.
- [70:23]
Michael Bostick
I like it.
- [70:24]
Sahil Bloom
Come back anytime. There's so many different tangents to go off on with you. I mean, I. I have, like, a hundred more questions.
- [70:31]
Michael Bostick
Yeah, we'll text about it.
- [70:31]
Sahil Bloom
It's good. You're totally, totally welcome to come back anytime on the show. I really enjoy following you, and I love your content. Thank you.
- [70:41]
Michael Bostick
Thank you.
- [70:41]
Sahil Bloom
And go listen to his first episode, too, because that's good, too.