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- [00:02]
A
Welcome to the Bostics, starring Lauren Bostic and Michael Bostic. Together, they are the Bostics. Hello, everybody. Welcome to the Bostics. The first time we've ever used the name the Bostics on this show with our new rebrand after a decade of doing this show. If you've been a longtime listener, this is actually our 950th time sitting down doing the show together. But the first time we're using the new brand name the Bostics.
- [00:28]
B
So fresh, a rebrand, a new decade. We are changing. We're evolving. And I think the audience has evolved, too. So this feels really fresh and new. So there is no more him and her show.
- [00:40]
A
It only took me 10 years to get away from that bright pink. I think I deserve some kind of award as a medal. Yeah, a medal. Something. Somebody should walk an award out. I, as a man in this show, stood in front of that Pink background for 10 straight years. 950 times, Carson doing this.
- [01:01]
B
All right, guys, that's quiet confidence.
- [01:03]
A
It's some. It's something. So for new listeners that are maybe our viewers that are coming out of the show, we're going to kind of explain how we got here. For longtime listeners and viewers first, thank you for being here with us for 10 years and 950 of these shows, it's really been incredible. But I think to start, we'd like to talk about why after all this time, we changed the name to the Bostics and. And why we moved away from the Skinny Confidential, him and her show.
- [01:27]
B
So I think for me, we started this off the blog that I had called the Skinny Confidential that I had had when I was in college. And it made sense at the time, 10 years ago to call it the Skinny Confidential, him and her, because it was a him and her perspective. And then as it's gone on and we've had thousands of conversations with all different kinds of people, it just felt like it needed a refresh.
- [01:52]
A
Well, here's how it started, guys. Here's a little bit of a history lesson, especially for those that are new here. Lauren started a blog called the Skinny Confidential around 2010, 11. I can't remember the exact date. This is before the term influencers exist. It's before the word creator economies or the word creator economy was out there. They, they called you guys bloggers back then. And she really was one of the early people to start, quote, unquote, blogging and putting digital content online in this new way that everybody engages. And she had a lot of success early on. So in 2016, we were in a committed relationship. We were engaged. We were trying to find something that we could do for fun and together. And we were listening to a ton of podcasts. We had this commute back and forth to la, and we loved listening to them together. Like we were. We just had a ton of enjoyment. So one day, and people have heard this story, we were down in Cabo having drinks, margaritas, as one does or two do. And we said, hey, how about doing a podcast together? And really, like, it started as just something fun for us to do together. And what happened is she had already established such a strong footprint online with the Skinny Confidential blog and some of the social channels she was working on that we said, okay, what makes the most sense? And keep in mind, like, this is before podcasts were really a thing. We used to create videos. If you remember, we used to screen record on our phones. Us logging into the Purple podcast app, which was only Apple at the time, showing people where they could even find the podcast, which was really dating us. Maybe the team can pull a clip of our first episode. And, you know, we, we. We did it really just for fun. So we said, what makes the most sense? We said, you have a brand. It's called the Skinny Confidential. How do we different him and her and that kind of stuck in a 20, 26 world? We probably never would have named the show that.
- [03:30]
B
No, we wouldn't have named the show that. So as we started to grow the show, we just decided that we wanted to do a whole rebrand, and that is what this is. So what is going to be the differences in this show? The differences are pretty simple. We will continue to have iconic, amazing, extraordinary people on the show, but we also really want to infuse all the knowledge that we've collected over the last 10 years. Michael and I, when we started, were sort of like students. We were learning and absorbing all this different knowledge from all these different people,
- [04:06]
A
and we still are.
- [04:06]
B
We've gotten our masters, our PhD through all of these incredible people. So now we want to put more of our own episodes, our own solo episodes into this rebrand. So you're going to see a series called How We Live that we are going to be posting once a month, and each time we post it, it's going to be a different subject. So we're really going to lean in towards that. And then it'll just be like the same fun, amazing conversation.
- [04:31]
A
Yeah. But let's talk about a little bit why we feel now is the time here, here's what's changed in the last 10 years. Ten years ago, we were obviously 10 years younger. We were not married. We did not have three children, which we now have. We were living in a different state. The company that I run day to day as CEO and that I founded, Dear Media, did not exist. You know, many new listeners and viewers may not understand outside of producing this show, we produce close to a hundred other shows at this point. We have offices in la, in New and in Texas. None of this existed. Lauren's product line did not exist. And so what's happened over the years is the storyline has just been really kind of convoluted and difficult to tell. It's like what's the skinny Confidential? What's Dear Media? What's the him and her show now? It's the through line is it's the Bostics. We're two individuals. We're married, we have a family, we've built a life. We have these businesses that we've built. We've had a successful marriage, we're working on raising successful young children. And we've learned a lot in the last 10 years from a bunch of incredible people that we've had the joy of speaking to on this show.
- [05:30]
B
I think too, like Michael said, we've. We've done a lot of things behind the scenes, like scale businesses that we want to bring to this show. We want to give our tips, our tactics, things that we've taken away and just share it. And the audience has been with us every step of the way. And if you've been here for the whole 10 years, thank you for listening. If you're new here, we are so excited to have you and this is just going to be so fresh. So with that, we are going to get in to things that we have learned in the last 10 years on the show. And we really, really thought about this episode because we want to make it worth your time.
- [06:08]
A
Some of the biggest takeaways that we have applied to our own lives that we think anyone can apply to theirs, and some of the biggest themes from talking to some of the most successful people in the world, to be honest. So, Lauren, I don't know if you want to go first or if you want me to go first, but we have a list of a bunch of things we put together.
- [06:23]
B
I'll go first. My main thing that I have learned from this show, talking to so many different successful people, is that your environment is shaping your behavior. So I have found that the highest people, I have found that the highest performers Performing at the highest level are designing their surroundings to support their habits. So to me, there's like two types of people. There's people who are in constant reaction mode and proactive mode. And the people that come on this show are proactive about everything from where their supplement drawer is to when their workout is, to how they're parenting their kids, to how they're showing up in a business. And what I've seen across the board is that high performers have different buckets and they're very intentional about each of those buckets. I have yet to interview a very successful person that isn't very purposeful about how they're curating their surroundings in their environment.
- [07:21]
A
Yeah. And on the reverse of that, we've also interviewed some people that have maybe struggled that, to Lauren's point, do not do those things. And so some of the key takeaways you observe that you observe like who's found success, who's happy and who isn't. And there's a clear through line. For me, one of the biggest things that I've learned over the last decade, and looking back, Tony Robbins has that quote, which is like, I think it goes like, you overestimate what you can do in a year and underestimate what you can do in a decade. And you don't really get those words until you actually put some tread on the, on the road and live a little bit. But yeah, over the last 10 years, we were so ambitious. We thought things were going to happen so much faster in the early days. Ten years later, we realize a lot has happened, but it took a lot of time. And so you hear about this concept of compounding and finance all the time. Investors talk about, hey, if you start investing, it compounds and it grows. It kind of starts with a flat line and then all of a sudden starts shooting up. The same thing happens in relationships, in our marriage, the same thing happens with a business. The same thing happens doing a show like this or creating content online. In the beginning, it can feel like you're just treading water and you're moving really slow and are you really having an impact or you're not? For example, the first three years of this show, we did not make a dime. We were self funding everything. We had no team. It was just kind of like, is anyone listening, paying attention? Decade later, a lot's changed. There's businesses, there's family. Our relationship's never been stronger. And we talk about this all the time because we've been together so long. What we've learned is the Relationship has gotten stronger and stronger and stronger. And for people that come on this show, when you start to see the really, really successful people, you realize most of those people, it's not something that happened overnight or if it is, and you see this, it's short lived. It's, it's the people that have been doing the same thing for long periods of time and then it really starts to pay off. So compounding doesn't just work in finance. It works in business, in relationships, it works in parenting, it works in a marriage, it works obviously in finance, it works everywhere.
- [09:18]
B
I also think, I feel like we've seen a lot of people that have come on the show too that have also gone viral and then maybe you don't hear from them for a while. So it also, it. If you don't compound and you just want to go viral really quick, it usually, like you said, doesn't have a lot of longevity.
- [09:32]
A
We talk about this all the time. Like, you know, I remember Scarlett Johansson came on the podcast and I'm not trying to name drop, but somebody in our private life said, oh, that's so cool, like, and gave me a congratulations or something. And I said, you know, do you notice that that was episode like 800 or 7, whatever it was, and it was really just a moment to say like it didn't happen right away. I sometimes feel bad for people that have immediate success or go viral real fast because when you don't know how to appreciate the build and what it took to get there and then all of a sudden you're just sitting there with a ton of success, everyone's coming to you for opportunity. It's really hard to stay grounded, to make the right decision. So anyone that's out there that's been listening or watching this show that feels like they're just putting in the work after work and it's not quite there. It takes time. Be patient. I promise you. Stick with it and you'll get there. Don't pray for immediate success. It's almost always short and fleeting.
- [10:20]
B
The next one is that I've learned health is infrastructure. And what I have seen is successful founders and creators and moms and dads, parents operate at the highest level when it comes to sleep, movement and nutrition. Those should be the foundation. We have had so many successful people. In fact, we just had a hugely successful woman come on the show and talk about how she was so burnt out when she was making the most money. If you do not take care of the pillars, the nutrition, the sleep, the movement, all the Rest goes to shit. I like to look at my calendar like an athlete. I've talked about this. I have to get in certain buckets so I can perform efficiently when it comes to business and parenting. If I am not getting enough sleep, it's. It just shows in my work. And I think that if you're listening and you're an entrepreneur or you're a stay at home mom or whatever you are, it's so important to fill those buckets first. Emma Greed just launched a book and I think it's called Start With Yourself. And she talks about this a lot. It's like you have to put on your own oxygen mask first to be successful in business or parenting. And that has been a common thread throughout the entire show, 100%.
- [11:44]
A
The other thing that I've noticed, and that is a common theme, you mentioned someone like Emma Green and by the way, Lauren was talking about Whitney Wolfhard, who's the woman that had that incredible success. That episode's coming out and she was talking about at the height of her career was also some of the most overwhelming times. So look out for that episode. But it's one thing that I've learned that high performers do and that we've done and that I think has contributed to all, to pretty much all of the success is consistency. Showing up day after day, whether that's in the gym, whether that's in your relationship as it relates to this particular show. This is episode 950. If you go back 10 years straight, you will not find a single week that Lauren and I have ever missed releasing an episode. No matter if we were sick, no matter if we were tired, no matter if we were fighting in our relationship plenty of times. No matter if we were traveling, if we were having children, whatever we were doing, it was week after week after week, releasing episodes, staying consistent, making sure that we were delivering to the audience what we had promised. And I think that consistency in, in any area of life, when we talk to high performers, they're consistent. They're showing up to their workouts, they're showing up for their job, they're putting in the time, the effort, putting on my dear media hat. Whenever creators come to me and they're crying saying, oh, this is so much work, it's overwhelming. This is like, of course it's work. Of course, like that's anything. You want to go and create something and get paid for it online and have people follow your thoughts and ideas and you think it's going to be easy. You want to go and you want to build a business and you know, work on a few days and then take a few days off and take a three month vacation. Doesn't work that way. It's consistency over and over and over again.
- [13:16]
B
I also think if you want to be an extraordinary person, you yes, have to do extraordinary things, but you also have to put the reps in. Like you're saying, and I apply reps to every single facet of my day. I apply reps to the gym, I apply reps to myself, care to showing up, present as being a parent, to doing the show, to running my business. It's all reps. I think just kind of like going off on a tangent of what you said too is Ed Mylett has taught us something incredible. He's been on this show three times and he taught us how to squeeze three days into one and he sort of like broke down how everyone's looking at the day wrong. They're wasting time. Whether they're waking up and scrolling or they're, they're just wasting time when they could be using that time to be really strategic about their day and squeeze in so much more out of the day. So that's another kind of thing that I've noticed about how high successful people run their calendar. They really try to make sure that they're being so intentional and consistent with their time and their calendar. Your calendar reflects your priorities. If someone shows me their calendar for a week, I can, I can tell you just by looking at their calendar if they're going to be successful. It's very obvious by your calendar how you're running your time, how you're running your day.
- [14:37]
A
Yeah. And again, as it relates to this show and for people that have listening like there's lulls, there's ups and downs, there's periods of high growth, there's periods of stagnation, there's periods of doing really well and then there's periods of not that's in any business, that's in any relationship, that's in anything. And you know, if you are to quit during the tough times or in the slow periods and stop and say I'm taking a break, then you're really missing the point. It's, it's, it's the showing up time after these kind of like the consistency in the compounding go hand in hand. And it's what I've realized high performers in every area do. So that's another big takeaway after looking back 10 years is what I think the superpower is, is I'm sure there's people out there that are more talented than me. Nobody's more talented than you learned, so don't worry about that. But they're maybe not as consistent or they get thrown off or they get demoralized or they take a break and then they wonder why it's not working. So you know what I, what I always tell people is like, if, if you're going to beat me on talent, I'm going to beat you on work ethic and consistency.
- [15:35]
B
Spring feels like a reset, am I right? I feel like there's longer days, lighter layers, and that shift in energy where everything feels possible again for me. I was just walking this morning. It's so calm right now, especially in Texas. And I was with baby and he was strapped to me. And the trees are just so beautiful. The flowers, all the things. And another way to celebrate spring is to refresh your wardrobe. So enter Sam Edelman. You can spring with Sam Edelman, where modern American elegance meets trend forward design across shoes and handbags. So Sam Edelman is actually a company that I heard about in high school, and ever since high school, they really have created the perfect shoe that's ready to wear. I feel like they just get it. They have these Ruth woven ballet flats that pair effortlessly with denim. I was wearing these when I podcasted the other day. I had like a baggy jean on and I wore them. They were so cute. If you're looking for something a little more sleek and feminine, they have the Presley strappy kitten heel sandal, which is perfect for a spring event or an evening out. And then if you're just like looking for something that's a real timeless classic essential, they have the alley ballet flat, but definitely check out the Ruthie woven ballet flat. I got it in brown. It's adorable. Visit us@Samedelman.com to explore everything you need for spring and get 15% off with code skinny15. That's Samedelman.com so this is so funny that we're working with this company because I have been buying my kids bathing suits from this brand forever. Minnow. They have the best bathing suits. Here's why. So I like my daughter especially to wear a long sleeve bathing suit because then I don't have to apply all the sunscreen and I just know she's out of the sun. They have the cutest, chicest, most premium, adorable little bathing suits. Like, I can't even tell you. The color palettes are sunkissed. They have all these little purposeful details. They have custom prints. Everything's High quality. It feels hand finished. So I got all Zaza's bathing suits from this brand. It is so cute. And if you're unfamiliar, Minnow is a family lifestyle brand that embraces clean lines, simple details and crisp seaside breezes. I personally am just like a genuine fan of these bathing suits for kids. I also am prepping for a trip for my baby and also Townes who is my middle and I went and got them suits on there too. And what I like about these kids suits you guys. There's UPF 50 plus protection blocking 98% of UVA and UVB rays. This is so nice. As a mother, you guys understand what I'm saying here? Inspired by the French Caribbean, Minnow presents its spring collection. A complete family vacation wardrobe designed to be worn on island from arrival to departure. Anchored by their largest women's assortment yet they have refined styles for kids and the collection is captured in St. Barts and designed to be worn all day, every day. Shop Minnow's Spring 2026 collection at shopminow.com Enter code meatminow15 to checkout to receive 15% off your first order. That's shopminownow.com code meatminnow15 for 15% off. I am so specific if you've seen my Instagram stories about what I sleep in. Okay, everyone invests in skincare and makeup. I am all about my bed. I love my bed. You've seen it on Instagram Story. There's a hundred pillows. I want cozy blankets and I want amazing sheets. So Bull and Branch sent me a bunch of their sheets and they're made from ultra clean 100% organic cotton. To me, what I sleep on is like a frequency. I think what anyone sleeps on is a frequency. And 100% organic cotton in my opinion is the way to go. It's breathable, it's gentle on the skin, and most importantly for me, it's free from harsh chemicals. I like their sheets as like a beauty hack because you get beauty sleep while you're wrapped in their luscious 100% organic cotton sheets. These sheets help you regulate temperature, feel incredibly soft, and just create the sleep that supports how you look and feel. Put your mouth tape on, get in your Bull and Branch sheets. You'll notice the difference immediately. My kids even commented on how soft they were. They're like butter, I'm telling you. Also, this is like a big one for me. The sheets don't feel different after you wash them, so you don't want sheets that feel different after one wash. And these ones just get softer over time. Upgrade your sleep during Bullen Branch's annual spring event. Take 20 off site wide plus free shipping at bullenbranch.com skinny with code skinny that's bullenbranch b o l l a n d branch.com skinny code skinny to unlock 20% off exclusions. Apply C site for details the other day I found the cutest sweater ever. It's like striped. It's Brunello, it's beautiful, it's cashmere and I found it for half off on the RealReal. I like to shop smart and there is so many good brands like amazing brands, brands you love on the RealReal. Gucci, Fendi, Prada. They have Tiffany and company Brunello, all the brands and so many of them are up to 90 off retail. This sweater that I got is so major it came brand new with the tags. I literally was blown away. If you're looking for a place to to sell something, you have to check out the RealReal. So yes, I just bought this sweater on there. But I also sell a bunch of my pieces on the RealReal. And what's great about it is they do everything from photography to copywriting to shipping to pricing to customer service. You literally sit back and get paid. Plus, with over 40 million fashion lovers on the RealReal, your items will sell fast. The RealReal really makes it so easy. But here's my thing. If you're looking for a piece for a vacation or a fancy wedding, instead of investing a bunch of money into a certain piece that maybe you're just going to wear a couple times, go check out the RealReal first because I'm telling you, there is stuff with the tags on it for half the price. Let me tell you, I do a lot of my shopping. There's the RealReal is the most trusted name in authenticated luxury resale with over 10,000 new arrivals daily. No one does resale like the RealReal. And now you get $25 off your first purchase when you go to therealreal.com skinny. That's therealreal.com skinny to get $25 off. Start shopping now@therealreal.com skinny one of the biggest things for me over the last decade has been observing how interesting people are interested and they're curious. And to me that means for my own life, that means reading. I read for an hour or sometimes two hours a day and it's a habit stack and I know when I'm doing it and I have it ingrained in my calendar and I have had all different ups, downs, ebbs, flows, kids, no kids. And I still commit to reading an hour or two a day. And I think that that has, has allowed me to stay curious. I obviously am. I'm not perfect. It's just something that I've picked up, this tip to stay interested that I think has really been amazing when it comes to compounding. If you read 30 minutes a day, just adding that to your calendar will make such a big difference in the long term. So how else can you stay curious? You could read the newspaper. Some people like to watch the news. That's not my jam. But some people love the news. But just like staying.
- [22:57]
A
Why'd you side eye at me?
- [22:59]
B
So just like staying genuinely curious about other people and, and, and acknowledging other people. I think like, even when you get in an Uber, just, just being interested in other people, getting outside yourself, it's such an important takeaway.
- [23:15]
A
And let's be honest, we've had a lot of, on paper, very successful people come on this show. And I think, like, there's a lot, there's a lot of that. But what Lauren and I have noticed, the next level of successful people, the 10% that come on here, that are. That have reached that, I would say, upper echelon of success. What we've observed to be the differentiator is there is a genuine curiosity in interest, like Lauren said, from those extra 10%. Take someone like Tony Robbins. He's probably been. He's probably one of the most successful people we've had on this show. We found out before he came on this show that he spent an hour or two researching everything about Lauren and I, about.
- [23:54]
B
He knew my chihuahua's name. Our pet.
- [23:56]
A
Yeah, our pets, our children, who we were, what our business were. He doesn't need to do. He's already made it. He's at the top level. When we sat with him, it was not just us asking questions off air and before the show. He's asking us. He wants to know there's a hunger and a curiosity that someone like that has and to. And again, on paper, Tony Robbins has already made it to the upper echelons, but someone like that still stays curious and hungry. And I think that's the differentiator when you see someone who's successful versus uber successful is they're curious and they're interested in other people.
- [24:24]
B
I also think that there's also people who come in that are not at the level of extraordinary, that are not on time, that are not prepared, that barely know what show they're on. And it's. It's so interesting to me how Tony Robbins is one of the most extraordinary people in the world, yet he still has the time and still makes the effort to prep for what he's doing. That, to me, is mind blowing. It's like, never get too comfortable with your success. Constantly push back. I think it'd be funny to share some. Some moments off air with the audience that have happened over the last 10 years.
- [25:01]
A
Like, I mean, there's a lot of things that.
- [25:03]
B
There's been fights.
- [25:04]
A
A lot of fights.
- [25:06]
B
There's been water thrown at you.
- [25:08]
A
There's been a lot of stuff Carson's seen. He's got all the. He's got the blooper reel. He's got the tapes. Taylor's got even more. I told Taylor to go and smash hard drives with a hammer.
- [25:15]
B
There's been fights at home because Michael comes to me and needs something for the show. It's definitely hasn't been all fun times. It's been. It's been work behind the scenes, and it's tested our marriage. And I think that that's important to be honest about, too.
- [25:32]
A
There's more things that I wish we've shown. And again, we just didn't have the team or the infrastructure in a lot of the early days. But in the early days, Lauren and I were, you know, editing everything ourselves. We were selling everything. We were traveling. We would carry these suitcases, maybe some of the early viewers and listeners with equipment and wires and. And all this stuff. And it was hard. Right? Like, I actually believe that if we tried to do that now with three children, I don't think we could have done what we did because we were grueling and, like, pushing and on planes everywhere. And unfortunately, at the time, people wouldn't show up to this fancy studio and they wouldn't travel to us. We had to go to them. And we still do sometimes, but there's been a lot of messy moments where work bleeds over into our life. It bleeds over into our relationship. It is, you know, inescapable at times. It feels like at times we both work for each other.
- [26:23]
B
Like, even you do work for me.
- [26:25]
A
Well, that's.
- [26:26]
B
Do you work for me?
- [26:26]
A
I mean, listen, it took me 10 years again to escape that bright pink. I wanted to even. I mean, any guy that could stick through you there, I. You know, I've been. I've been out there doing this for a long time, Carson. And it's. I've been a good sport, but, you know, Again, it's time. So. No, I mean this, we've talked about this for years. Working with your significant other, your. Your person you're married to, the person you sleep with every night. It, it is not for the faint of heart. We've had to really work on a relationship. And I think this show has actually, looking back, been like couples therapy for us.
- [26:59]
B
It has been like couples therapy because we've gotten to interview so many interesting different people and some of them are therapists and some are doctors and some are experts. I also think that the show energetically, and I'm gonna give you a compliment, has really opened you up. Like, meaning, like, I think you're a little woo woo now.
- [27:15]
A
Well, that's a good note to.
- [27:16]
B
I mean, are you woo woo?
- [27:18]
A
I'm pretty woo. Yeah, I'm pretty woo woo. We say things on this show like, listen, everybody, we are so lucky that we get to have these conversations directly, these people. But our hope has always been that these conversations are a conduit to whoever's listening or viewing on the other side. And what I always remind everyone, everyone is Lauren and I are learning at the same time as all of you from these incredible people. We may get to have the conversation in person and release it and hold it before we release a little bit earlier, but we're learning a lot and, you know, picking on someone like Arthur Brooks, who I thought was a great episode. He's saying some things about what couples need to do in a relationship that both her and I know we need to be better at. And so indirectly, like I said, we're getting therapy and learning at the same time.
- [28:00]
B
Sometimes they do a pinch under the table, like a little reminder. A little pinch. I love that.
- [28:06]
A
Have old, like eggs on the table. She, Lauren brings scrambled eggs with sauce and puts them under during the whole recording.
- [28:11]
B
At least I'm getting my protein.
- [28:13]
A
Things that I survived through.
- [28:14]
B
Another thing that has resonated with me over the last 10 years is you can feel when someone is aligned with who they are. The most magnetic, dynamic, charismatic guest that come on this show have stopped trying to be someone else. They are showing up as themselves and they are in alignment and harmony. And we have had some very, very, very famous people on this show. And sometimes not all the time, but sometimes the most famous are the most insecure booking agents.
- [28:48]
A
Never gonna book anyone on the show again.
- [28:50]
B
That's been interesting to observe. It's just, you know, you would think that just because someone has so much fame or beauty or talent that they are so secure with themselves. And that is not always the case. Now, I'm not saying that about everyone. I will say, like, Paris Hilton is so in alignment. I loved Paris Hilton. She just is who she is. So she was like such. She was such. She exceeded every expectation I ever had. But there's also a lot of guests that come in, you guys that are, you know, not the most secure and you can feel when someone's not aligned. And that's been so interesting for me as a study in human nature, to be able to go out into the world and speak at conferences and meet people and even just live in my daily life. I am able to feel immediately when someone's not aligned.
- [29:35]
A
Well, it dovetails into another thing that I think I wanted to talk about.
- [29:38]
B
What is a dovetail?
- [29:39]
A
Dovetails. It means it goes nicely into this. It's a nice transition too.
- [29:43]
B
Love it.
- [29:45]
A
Obviously, you need to learn a few more things on the show, but it dovetails nicely into another thing I wanted to share and talk about, which is doing this show over the last decade, and not just this show in isolation, but observing the last decade in in media has been very interesting. Again, go back to a 2016 world pre Covid, a lot of traditional media, a lot less podcasts, a lot less of these conversations. People being much more careful about what they would share or not share. There's a lot of people that come from those legacy media days that had to have a certain polish and a certain candor and behave a certain way and say certain things. When Lauren and I started doing this, we had no media training and no idea what we were doing as media personalities. And so our only real strategy was, okay, we're just going to share our ideas our way as ourselves, and hopefully it works well. After observing not only the success of this show, but a ton of other people that have now entered the space and create their own shows and running Dear Media, what I've observed is the people that are authentically themselves without fear of being themselves have the most success standing out online. The people that struggle the most and continue to try to struggle to be relevant are the ones that have looked at an old blueprint or they look at somebody else and they try to emulate or be something they're not. It doesn't work, I can tell you that. Not only from this, but running a company like Dear Media, where those kinds of people get washed out and the people that are really themselves stay in. And we've seen a entire shift in the last 10 years on Conversations, in content, on relevant media channels, you see a decline in traditional media, a distrust in those outlets. And there's a lot of great people and a lot of great journalists and a lot of great people that are pushing content. But what I think this has proven to us is you can take a non traditional talent and a non traditional media outlet and become highly relevant and maybe display some of the old guard and the old way of doing things. I also think you build a certain trust with an audience that you know is displaceable. And listen, Lauren and I know that we are not for everybody and that we sometimes say things where we misstep or upset people, but we feel good at night when we talk to each other knowing that, like, we're just being ourselves. There is no polish, there's no, there's no curation, there's no, hey, are they gonna. How's this gonna play or not play? We have guests that think one way and then think the opposite way. We have people that are popular and we have people that are unpopular. And what we realize is you just gotta be yourself. And I think that that's great advice for anyone looking to build any kind of online platform or business. And it's, it's what we've seen, not only here, but running a large media company where, where others do the same thing.
- [32:24]
B
I feel in my life, I'm the happiest that I've ever been in my life. I feel so aligned, and I think that this rebrand is very harmonious with everything going forward. And I hope it feels this way for the audience. Okay, next. Attention is your most valuable currency that you have, and it's so important to use it wisely. I take an inventory of my attention every single night that I lay my head on the pillow. I'm like, where did I put my attention today? Was I scrolling? Was I distracted? Was I watching other people's Instagram stories? I like to be so thoughtful with where my attention's going and what helps me the most is. And you guys know, this is living and eating and breathing and dying by my calendar. And in my calendar, there's a lot of white space, there's writing space, there's time blocks for creativity, there's time blocks for my kids. I just really like to know where my attention is going. And I think if you're looking for a place to start and you're feeling overwhelmed with all the content online, a really good place to start is to take inventory of your attention. Who are you following? I like to star the accounts that I'm following. In my Instagram, I don't get fed anything other than what I want to
- [33:37]
A
see is starring favoriting them.
- [33:38]
B
Yeah, I favorite it. And I have five accounts that I look at. One of them's like Law of Attraction. I have Robert Green in there. I have La Louise Hay. I have.
- [33:47]
A
What are you trying to attract at this point? Who are you trying to attract?
- [33:49]
B
Dr. Wayne Dyer? It's about attracting things in the universe that I want. It's, it's, it's my vision. I, I'm really focused on my vision right now. And I would tell you this. If you open your Instagram and you go to the for you page and it's all low vibrational things, that is because that's the content you're consuming.
- [34:12]
A
Well, that's another good. Gary Vee, who's a friend and who's been so nice to us over the years, came on the show and he basically did this. Who up? You guys should check it out. Where he talked about why your algorithm is the way it is. And it was an aha moment for Lauren I to realize if your algorithm is serving you terrible negative things, it's because that's what you're seeking out. So you can, you know, I like looking at cars and I like looking at.
- [34:32]
B
I love looking at your for you page. Your for you page. Michael's for you page is watches, travel, cars and Chihuahuas. Because I program chihuahuas in there. Your for you page is like, you
- [34:44]
A
can go, listen, I don't want to blow anybody up, but if you're in a relationship and you want to see what your significant other is doing and spending time, open their for your page and it'll give you basically an indication of what they're looking at.
- [34:54]
B
And how do I know this? Why do I know this? Because I had Taylor, our producer, open his for you page and there was butthole all over the for you page. There was thong underwear, There was people twerking. It was bent. It's like you cannot find a better place to get a true self aware reflection.
- [35:14]
A
Every guy, every guy is sweating right now. Every girl is sweating.
- [35:17]
B
Yeah. Because this is a real hot tip. And I'll do an episode.
- [35:20]
A
I didn't blow you up. Actually, I kind of did.
- [35:21]
B
But Lauren, look at what they're for you, Paige. That'll tell you everything you need to know. I like on my for you page. Non toxic finds. I like high vibrational content. I want tips, tactics. I'm obsessed with naval. I've talked about him so many times. All naval. I Want everywhere. And I think, like, you have to think about it. You're looking at that for at least a minute or two or three or four a day. That is, again, compounding over time. So attention is your most valuable currency. Make sure you. You use it wisely. Well.
- [35:52]
A
And here's another thing, another great dovetail.
- [35:54]
B
Oh, my gosh.
- [35:56]
A
I don't know.
- [35:56]
B
Have you never said this word?
- [35:57]
A
I'm stuck on the word now. I. I'm going to change it after. But this is the last time. Okay, if I say it again, Carson, just edit it out. Okay. You have again, a lot of high performers, a lot of happy people that come on the show, and you have these conversations privately with them. They're not watching the news. They're not taking in negativity. They are disconnecting from things that are upsetting. It's not that they're unaware. Sometimes Lauren and I get labeled as being. We're aware of what's going on in the world, but constantly beating yourself up over the. And beating yourself over the head with bad news and why things are going wrong and why the world's terrible. High performers just don't do that. And what they tell us offline is that they're consuming positive content, positive books. They're going into old texts, they're hanging out with friends that are treating them well. What we've learned over the last 10 years is who you surround yourself with and what you can consume is what's. Is the trajectory your life's going to go in. So if you're constantly around bad people and consuming negative news and talking about how terrible things are, then that's what your reality is going to be. And so for us, we made a very intentional decision back in 2020 to largely get all of cable news out of the house and to try to read things that are uplifting. Again, it doesn't mean we're disconnected and aren't aware of what's going on in the world, but do we need to really look at every single tragedy that's happening? We had a guy named Morgan Housel come on the podcast. He wrote a great book called the Psychology is Money. And then I think the other one that I really enjoyed is called, called Same as Ever, Morgan. Sorry if I if I didn't get that book right. But he talks about the fact that if you actually look at what's going on in the world, the world has actually gotten better from a statistical and a data standpoint. The problem is, is that we have more access than ever to information so in the old days, if you were to open your local newspaper, the chances of something bad happening in your community, not too high. If you open the Worldwide news and you, you look for something that's going bad in the world, pretty much certain that something's going bad at any given moment in the world. If you focus on that constantly, day after day after day, you're going to have a really glum look on the world. Let's take a quick break to talk about Ollie Dog food. It is safe to say that people are absolutely obsessed with their dogs. 91% of dog parents say their dog is an important member of the family and 40% would even save their dog over a human stranger. I know I would. Safe to say people are obsessed. I'm so obsessed that I even have three of my own biological actual children. But on the screensaver on my phone is my dog. If you have a dog, you get it. And if anyone gets being dog obsessed, it's Ollie. I love companies like this, companies that care about the pets that give us nothing but unconditional love. They are relentless about delivering the best food and experience for you and your dog. And they give you a way to check in on their health over and over again. And that's because Ollie provides fresh recipes that are developed by real chefs and backed by vet nutritionists. They're obsessed with making the best me the highest quality ingredients. We were interviewing Paris Hilton recently and she has a bunch of dogs that have made it to really late stages in life. I was talking to her, asking how she was able to do this, how she's able to take such good care of her dogs. And it's because she feeds them real food. Not that stuff that just sits on shelves, but real food. And this is why we love Ollie so much. From the moment you start your subscription, everything is tailored to your pup. The meals are perfectly portioned and you get a puptainer and scoop for easy storing and serving. And with Ollie, you don't just get food through their app. You can actually check in on your dog's health with real value guts just by uploading a picture. Their team can check in on your dog's weight, digestion, teeth and coat because they're obsessed with making sure your pup is healthy as can be. So check them out. Get ready for both you and your pup to be obsessed. Head to ollie.com skinny tell them all about your dog and use code Skinny to get 60% off your welcome kit when you subscribe today. Plus, they offer an obsession guarantee if you're not completely obsessed. You'll get your money back. That's O L L I E.com skinny and enter code skinny to get 60% off your first box. Socks, Ollie. Feed the obsession.
- [39:37]
B
I like to be very flattered when I work out, especially in the season of postpartum where I am still in the midst of losing £20. And let me tell you, the most flattering workout wear is viori. Like I'm telling you, just go check out their pieces. I get them in black and they're just so good. They hold you in right. They're designed to look good beyond the gym. So I'll leave the gym. I'll go get a coffee. I'll get a cappuccino with whole milk. I'll maybe get some egg salad. And I will be in the cutest little flattering outfit. I like to do monochromatic. I'll do fully black and then a black sweater over my shoulders. It's so comfortable. They use this fabric called dream knit and it's so soft and buttery and premium. Everything's lightweight, it's relaxed. They've really thought of everything. They even have like four ways performance stretch. So it's great for stretching, lounging, working out. I like to lift weights. But then you can also wear it to get your cappuccino. This is not your average athletic gear. Okay? This is like a new fresh perspective inspired by active California lifestyle. You will love Vori. I also am a fan of the baby blue. Okay, I know that's like a random color, but check that out. Okay, I like that one too. Vori is an investment in your happiness for our listeners. They're offering 20% off your first purchase. Purchase. Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet@vuori.com skinny that's V U-O-R-I.com skinny exclusions apply. Visit the website for full terms and conditions. Chicken has been on the menu in my house. This episode is brought to you by Taylor Farms. You guys know what Taylor Farms is? I have talked about it. I like to make a bowl every single day. It's a protein bowl. I'll do meat or I'll do chicken. Chicken. And then I'll take one of my Taylor Farms chop salad kits. They have like sweet kale Caesar, avocado ranch, Mediterranean crunch. I'll mix it into my beef or chicken bowl and I'll add maybe some like avocado or some chopped onion or I like raw jalapeno, little bit of yummy dressing. It comes in the Taylor Farms chop salad kit. I mix it up and I have a real party for myself because I and basically a cook, right? You should also know they have Mexican street corn, they have Asian, they have everything. So if you have like specific things that you like or don't like, they really have everything. So picky eaters, this is for you too. Anyway, I've been doing chicken a lot. That's what I'll do. I'll do the chicken with the Mediterranean crunch, a little bit of raw cheese and like I said, some extra fixings on top. You really can't go wrong. They have have 28 chopped kits, 10 salad kits, six organic chopped kits and nine mini chopped kits. So there's really something for everyone. At every appetite. You can really mix it up. No chopping, no slicing, no leaving half a cabbage in your fridge, just fresh greens. If I can do it, you can too. Grab a Taylor Farms chopped salad kit and get your salad together. The Skinny Confidential is doing its five year anniversary sale 30% off site wide. Here's what I would get. I would definitely get our ice roller. It's reimagined. It's beautiful. It's like baby pink. It has a little navy detail. I use it every single morning to depuff. I do not miss a morning. I wouldn't dare put on skincare without ice rolling. If you want to lift your face, tighten your face, depuff your face. This ice roller is the best, in my opinion on the market. I truly thought of every single detail with the team. And you're gonna die over the new packaging. We also have new merch. I'm not even going to tell you what that is. Go look at it. It's the anniversary collection. Shop the anniversary sale with 30% off. Community Favorites shopskinnyconfidential.com I feel like you'll have something to say about this next one.
- [43:24]
A
I always have something to say about everything.
- [43:26]
B
Honestly. Unbelievable. The people who change industries think differently about risk. And what I have found is you're not going to avoid being uncomfortable and you're not going to avoid risk, but you can calculate it. And it's been really cool to see so many people come on this show and talk about the massive risks that they have taken and the struggles that they've had to get to where they are. That has been so inspiring to me because there's been so many guests who've come on that have had roadblocks or they've survived something crazy or they've been a victim and They've really turned charcoal into a diamond. And I'm a big believer that if you're clever enough, you can make anything shine like a diamond.
- [44:14]
A
Like, you know, we've done a lot of these shows. We've talked to so many people. I cannot think of one person that has had immense success and happiness in their life that has come on and said, hey, it was just super easy. And it all just kind of fell in my lap, and I didn't really have to struggle, and I was always happy, and nothing ever went wrong. It's usually a lot of struggle, a lot of heartache, a lot of pain, a lot of sacrifice. And then after all of that success, and then what they also reflect on, and what we reflect on, too, is when you're successful, you don't really think about the success. You think about all the struggle, and that's what you appreciate. When I look back on the last decade of doing this, I think back on how Lauren and I struggled together, how our relationship got challenged, how we had to build things, how we had to. How we had to, you know, sacrifice certain opportunities, how we had to, you know, be uncomfortable at times, how we had to take certain flacks at certain periods. Those are the things that I appreciate. I never think, oh, wow, we had a really good year, and we had this income, or like, oh, we gotta, you know, buy this great material thing. It's. It's the sacrifice. So, again, what Lauren's saying is all of these people are stressing themselves out, and it's always a struggle and it's always tough, and nothing has ever fallen in these people's lap. And that's a common theme that we've learned from people that many of us, and including us, look up to and aspire to be, or at least aspire to emulate, is they've all gone through the shit.
- [45:37]
B
I am also a very spiritual person. And I've sort of, like, realized recently I've always been very spiritual. And this show has really, I think, helped me double down on being spiritual. And I think what I've learned from this show is that for me, it's been very helpful to have a higher power. And whatever that higher power is, it could be anything to you, whatever that means to you. But that's something that I think about every single day. It's something that I spend five to 10 minutes on, whether it's in meditation or on a walk. And I think that that's helped me get through any time that has been tough, is having that higher power and this show has almost just made me want to triple down on it, if you will, just by being able to talk to all of these different people with all of these different opinions. Because this show, like at the end of the day, there's no agenda here. It's just to have conversations with real people and hear their real story. And hopefully there's something that you guys can take away from the show. All right, Michael, what is your last one?
- [46:47]
A
Well, here's the last one and I think it is the most important and I think it is the theme of this show and I think it's what I hope everyone that listens or watches or continues to listen to watch takes away from it. Like I said, we have got to speak to so many people for so long. Some of these people we share ideals with and agree with. Some of them we disagree with. We live in a time, unfortunately in the last few years where people decide to really set themselves in a silo. They pick one, one side of the aisle and they ignore the other. They pick that side and ignore the other. They live in a bubble where they only get information that makes them feel good and makes them feel happy. They ignore other people with countering ideas or opinions. They discount those people. They, they demonize them, they attack them for their thoughts. Lauren and I pride ourselves in this show on just hearing people's thoughts and ideas and opinions and most importantly, why they, they came to those thoughts, opinions, ideas. And what we've realized over time doing this is most people, the majority of people have really good intentions, but they come to their conclusions based on their life circumstances, their upbringing, their parents, the people in their communities. And they, and they end up forming their opinions largely with good intentions based on what they think is self serving the people they love, the people around them. Again, most people we talk to on the show don't start out saying, I'm gonna have this idea and I'm here to harm people. They sit in that opinion. So what we try to do to be well rounded people, and we hope we serve this audience, is we have a lot of different people with a lot of different viewpoints on the show and they share their perspective and their ideas. We create a non judgmental space and then we go home after and figure out does, do we agree, do we disagree, do we apply, do we not apply? Same thing we hope for the audience. Listening to counter ideas, taking them in in an unbiased way and then saying, okay, does that make sense or not? Just shutting people out because you disagree is not the way Sometimes, though, like,
- [48:42]
B
you say we go home and we figure out if we agree or disagree. I have to tell you, and I don't know if you feel like this, sometimes I just don't agree or disagree. Sometimes I just sit in the conversation and let people have their opinion and, like, it doesn't. It doesn't have to affect me emotionally.
- [49:01]
A
Yeah, well, that's another great takeaway. Sometimes you'll see things, especially with the way these shows get clipped up and taken out of context, and you feel like you have to take a stance.
- [49:09]
B
I don't feel like I have to take a stance on everything. And I think that that, that is important to share because sometimes I'm interviewing someone and I'm actively listening, but it's almost like a car driving by me. I don't have to take on everyone's opinion or thought.
- [49:26]
A
Or you can say, like, say it's a really wacky idea that. That you really disagree with. You can kind of just step back and kind of have a laugh about it later. Like, man, that was a wacky idea. It doesn't have to then become your identity.
- [49:36]
B
I can't have it derail my day. Imagine you're at a dinner party and Uncle Cletus.
- [49:41]
A
No, no, not cletus.
- [49:42]
B
No Cletus. 100% Cletus. Uncle Cletus has an opinion about the way of the world. You don't have to get on board with Uncle Cletus's opinion.
- [49:51]
A
Well, imagine walking into a restaurant, and every time you walk into the restaurant, you see someone that disagrees with you, and you go, well, I'm not eating here. The food is supposed to be phenomenal.
- [49:58]
B
So it is.
- [49:59]
A
The food is phenomenal. But someone over there disagrees with me, and that hurts me, and so I'm leaving. We can't do that. So, again, like, listen to people. Haven't I. We've learned more probably from the people we disagree with on this show than the people we agree with. If you're already in a bubble and you already have a bias, how are you learning something new? Challenge yourself. Stretch your mind. That's where all opportunity is. That's how you grow with that.
- [50:23]
B
We feel the happiest and most aligned in our lives right now, and we're so excited to share the next decade with you guys as the Bostics. So follow us on Instagram at the Bostics, and we'll see you every single Monday and Thursday as usual.
- [50:41]
A
Imagine this. It's just nice for me able to say my name. Our name instead of being like, what do you do? Well, I host this show, and it's called the Skinny Confidential. Him and her. And, oh, by the way, it's a product and a beauty line. But then I run this company called Dear Media. And, you know, have you seen that crazy diagram of Charlie Day where he's got all the diagrams and the lines? That's what I felt like for the last 10 years. So, guys, it's the boss six, but
- [51:05]
B
this is a live example of a work in progress. You know what my gravestone's gonna say?
- [51:09]
A
What?
- [51:10]
B
Always refining.
- [51:11]
A
And it'll be nice, too, when people can show up now and they don't have to ask us, hey, are you two married? Right? Because sometimes they do. And hopefully they don't think we're brother and sister, because we're not.
- [51:19]
B
Do we look like brother and sister?
- [51:20]
A
I don't think so.
- [51:21]
B
Okay.
- [51:22]
A
Who would be the older sibling if we were you? All right. All right.
- [51:26]
B
Thanks for listening.
- [51:27]
A
Thank you, guys. Tune in every week. We'll be back.