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The Bossticks
What To Do When You Feel Lost In Life: How to Find Clarity In Career, Health, Relationships & More Ft. Michael Bosstick
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#879: Join Michael Bosstick as he sits down to discuss navigating life throughout different stages of life. In this solo episode, Michael shares practical advice for regaining clarity when life feels overwhelming. He offers practical tools for...
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The following podcast is a Dear Media Production. She's a lifestyle blogger extraordinaire. Fantastic. And he's a serial entrepreneur, a very smart cookie. And now Lauren Everts and Michael Bostick are bringing you along for the ride.
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Get ready for some major realness.
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Welcome to the Skinny Confidential, him and her. Hello everybody. Welcome back to another episode of the Skinny Confidential, him and her show. Today you have me, Michael Bostick, the co host of the Skinny Confidential, him and her show again. For what will be one of my final solo episodes. I did a little bit of a series here while my wife Lauren has been out on maternity leave. She is on the way back this Thursday and then going into next week we have a whole slew and slayed and I don't even know if I'm saying that right. A bunch of interviews coming up with some really big names and great guests. So expect regular programming to start resuming at the end of this year. But I wanted to make sure that I wrapped up this solo series. Thank you for those that have been writing in and sending me such nice messages. I've had fun doing these. It's been a while since I've been able to do these and if you like them, you know, maybe we can do miniseries or we can do a few more of these kinds of things here and there. To recap for those of you that are just tuning into this episode, this solo episode, I have done four others in a short period of time while Lauren's been out on maternity leave. And if you missed them, here are some of the topics. I did one on the core values that I would like to instill in my children and myself. Any adult can use this, but you can also instill it into your kids. I did an episode with our sister Mimi Everts on what advice I would give to myself if I was in my 20s or someone who's in their 20s or hell, even 30s or actually even adults, but really tailored towards kind of that younger adult. I did an entire episode all about how to enhance your business and your career mistakes to avoid things to focus on how to explode a brand, a business if you're starting one or if you're thinking about transitioning to career. And I did an episode on personal financial freedom and money management, how to get your finances under control. Those episodes, if you are looking for them, are 875, 876, 877 and 878 on the skinny Confidential. Him and her show. Can't believe we have that many episodes. Carson but anyways, those episodes are all out and live and I've gotten great feedback. I hope for those who have listened or watched that you've enjoyed it and if you haven't, maybe check them out. This will be the tail end of this series and it is all about what to do when you feel lost in life. I know life can be overwhelming. Sometimes you can lose focus, sometimes you can lose passion. Sometimes you could just feel confused about what path to follow. So I've broken this episode down into six categories including what to do in your career, what to do in dating, even though it's been a minute since I've been dating, what to do when you're in a relationship and feel lost, what to do when you feel lost with your health or in your health journey, and what to do as a parent, if you're a new parent or you've been a parent for a while and you're feeling a little bit lost and overwhelmed. And then what to do when you feel lost in life in general. A little bit of a high level take there. I will provide resources and recommendations at the end of the episode as well, and then of course give you my personal take on ways that I've navigated these areas of my life. So if you're somebody who's feeling a little bit lost in life, maybe in every area, maybe just in one or two areas, this episode's for you. I hope it helps and I hope you enjoy it. With that, let's get into the episode. I know as a young man, and then even well into my late 20s and even early 30s, one of the things that drove me nuts in life and nuts when I listen to these speakers or podcasters or authors, is when people would say, chase your passion. You got to be passionate. If you, if you're doing something that you're passionate about, you'll never work a day in your life. That's great advice for people that have already found their passion. My wife Lauren was somebody who discovered that early on as a child. For me, it was much harder. I had so many different interests. I was scattered all the time. I couldn't focus on one thing or the other. I couldn't tell what, what I was passionate about. I knew I liked certain things, I knew I disliked other things, but I didn't have that one passion. I think people that get this advice, if you haven't found that a passion, it feels like you're the crazy one, the odd one out. The person's like, why don't I have a passion like Everyone else, it's not to say you're not passionate. It's just to say that maybe you haven't found that one thing. For example, for Lauren, it was scrapbooking and blogging and writing, and she really tailored that and built a career that obviously, you know, started a blog. And then all the other things that she's done for me, I didn't have that one thing right. I had a lot of things, and I just couldn't figure it out. So whenever I would hear this advice from people that I looked up to or respected or admired, it would make me feel bad because I couldn't figure out what that thing was. And I was like, well, how do I find that? And so if you're somebody that is listening to this and you're like, I am passionate about a lot of things, and I like a lot of things, but I haven't really found that one thing yet. Don't feel discouraged. That was me. And the way that I figured out what the thing was, it was I started tasting and trying and doing a lot of different things. I think, you know, especially with the way we were brought up and how we go through school and, you know, college, they ask you to pick a major before you even really know anything about life. And you get put on this path, and then all of a sudden you realize that's not the path you want to be on. This can be really challenging. And what I found in my life to kind of figure out what I'm passionate about is I started doing a lot of different things. At one point in my career, I started dabbling in real estate. At another part, I was in manufacturing and aviation. At another part, I was in client services and marketing and advertising. I've obviously done this podcast, which I love, and now I run Dear Media, and I'm also an investor. And I. All this culmination of these different experiences really kind of help focus me on what I'm excited about, which is helping people, reaching an audience, building companies that further enhance other people's lives and help other entrepreneurs grow. And I've built this structure that ultimately culminated into this show and Dear Media and the things that we invest in and the people we partner with. But there was no way that if you would have asked me 20 years ago what my passion is, I would have said, hey, I'm going to be talking on a microphone to people on camera and running a media company that produces, you know, 100 other shows like there. It just would have never been on the bingo card. And so I Think it's so important to try different things and figure other things out. Even if you know it's likely not going to be the main thing that you end up doing, it's going to help you build the breadcrumbs to lead you to the path of the thing that ultimately is your passion. And then you can take the advice, which is follow your passion. And work won't feel like work. To be clear though, and I've said this a million times, work is always work. If you turn your passion into a career or a job, it will be a career or a job, and it's going to come with the things that jobs come with, which is hard work and in many cases, things you actually don't like doing. But the passion and the excitement around the big goal or the big objective is going to enable you to truck through all the things that make work work hard. People sometimes get discouraged and burn out with work because they're doing something that they are not excited about at all. And then it just becomes a constant struggle through the workload and all the things that work brings. And that's never fun. So I wanted to open with that because I think it's a good place to start. If you're feeling a little bit lost, you don't know what your passion is. The exercise to start to figure that out is to try to do a few different things. Don't feel like you have to land on the main thing first. Don't feel like you have to land on that main job or that thing that's going to be your career forever. Just try different, different things. Intern at different places, apply at different companies, work with different people. You know, do things that are a little bit out of your comfort zone and those will slowly clue you into what you actually should be doing. At one point, I had an agency that was literally consulting. And this is no shade. And I love the people that I worked with. They were very nice. I was literally consulting for a company that was selling Rice Krispie treats. And I don't say that in any other way than people just looking at me saying like that, that's likely not what I should be doing, right, Carson? But again, it was, it was a great experience and great entrepreneurs and great people, but it just wasn't my path. But again, it also taught me that maybe I shouldn't be in, quote unquote, consulting or client services. So just gives you an idea of just trying different things. Okay, let's start with the people that are just getting out of school or maybe Starting their career or maybe starting a business and they're feeling lost in their career, they're feeling on their career path. We just touched on this a little bit. You're just getting out of school, you think you want to do something and all of a sudden you realize maybe it's not the thing you want to do. For me, I studied real estate in college. I thought that I was going to be a developer and a real estate mogul. I started in 2008, quickly realized I did not want to be a landlord, I did not want to be a builder, I didn't want to do any of the things that I thought I was going to be doing. Problem was I had a four year degree focusing and studying on these things. And at the time, that was very challenging and discouraging, I'm sure for the older people listening. When you get out of school and you think you're gonna be doing something and then you quickly have your life blow up from a career perspective and you realize that's not the thing you're gonna be doing, you think it's the biggest problem in the world. Ended up being a blessing for me because it focused me in some other paths, but at the time it was devastating. So say you're somebody who is just getting out of school and you thought you were gonna be doing something and now you're not sure, or maybe that job opportunity doesn't exist, or maybe the industry is struggling, or maybe you're somebody that in that same career path and all of a sudden it's not what you thought it was going to be and you're overwhelmed and you don't know what to do and you're just feeling burnt out and tired. So if that was me and I was feeling stagnant and burnt out, or I was feeling less inspired about the path that I had chosen, I would immediately, you know, kind of wash my hands of that thought process. Understand that there are a million different paths out there. You're going to be fine, you're going to be okay. Something else will present itself. The money may not be the same, the beginning, but again, if you figure out something that you're actually excited about, people are making huge careers in all sorts of different areas. And again, if you find something that you're really excited about doing, the money actually becomes less of the issue. Of course you need to pay your bills, you need to support your family, you need to live comfortably at some point, but the money becomes less of an issue. I think one of the biggest tragedies and this is also, you know, been the case for me and for others and I'm sure for many listening. Maybe you're doing really well financially, but you hate your career and you hate your job and you don't like your boss and you're burned out, but you're getting paid very well. I'm not the first person to talk about this with a public platform, but if it were me and if I were giving advice to someone I loved or care about, which do with all of you, I would say take less money for something you'd be happier doing than just taking the money. Just to take the money. In my personal life, whenever I've focused on the money, even if it was more money in some cases than others, and have not focused on things that I actually like doing, burnout happens really fast. You get a sense of unhappiness, sometimes a little bit of a despair, sometimes a little bit of resentment towards your career. Sometimes, you know, you're tired and sluggish and the money is great. So you justify it and say, hey, I should feel good doing all this because I'm getting paid so well. But if you're not happy, it's just not worth it. And that's going to take a toll on you as life goes on. So for me, my advice is always to focus something that's going to light you up and keep you excited instead of just the money again, caveating that with you need to be making enough to live your life comfortably again. Go back to my personal finance episode and I talk all about that. You don't want to. You don't want to create a situation where you're stressed about money and not being able to pay your bills, because that comes with a whole nother host of problems. But if you can be comfortable making 60k doing what you love versus 80k doing what's what you hate, I would definitely take the 60. Another thing is if you are in a career right now and in a job and you're starting to feel burnt out and maybe you're working for an organization, I would bring that up to your manager or your direct report or your boss and I would talk to them and say, hey, I'm looking for some more challenges. I'm looking for something a little bit more that's going to make me feel a little bit more excited. I'm starting to feel less excited about the role. I, as an employer, want to hear that. I want to know if somebody is not happy in the role that they're working in. Right. There's many people that, you know, maybe want to join and fill that role. Maybe this person wants or you wants to evolve into a different role. I think base it in reality and skill set and, you know, what the company can support. But, you know, I think what I see a lot of times with, with young people especially is they. They get a little burned out or they don't like what they're doing, and their first line is like, hey, I'm just going to leave and go find something else. Well, that could be great if you want to switch careers or go to a different company and, you know, no discouragement there. But what if there's an opportunity in that company and what if you can raise your hand for it and have that conversation? I think put on your manager or your bosses or the owner's radar is important because it's going to get their wheels spinning as well and maybe get them to look at you in a different light. If you don't raise your hand and you don't speak up for yourself, nobody else will. So I'm a big believer in doing that. If you're somebody who has just been banging your head against the wall, slugging your way through, waking up tired, not energized, knowing that you're never going to, you know, find happiness in your career, maybe it's time for a change. Maybe it's time for a break. This is why, again, if you go back to my personal finance episode, that emergency fund is so important, because giving yourself a little bit of space and recalibrating to what you actually want to do is really important. You know, you have to be excited about life. You have to be looking forward to how you're going to spend your days. And as much as we want to sometimes not talk about how important work is, and we talk about work, life balance, we spend a lot of time as individuals in the workplace furthering our career. This is where you're having many social interactions. This is where you're spending many of your hours. So it has to be a place that you're enjoying and excited about. Another exercise that I would do, and I'm a big believer in journaling, is I would make one of those T charts. Carson's called a T chart. Right where you have T. And I would, on one side, write things that energize you and light you up, and on the other side, things that drain you and drag you down. And this could be. It doesn't have to be just in your career. It could be anything. And then I would go through that list, and I would kind of circle what elements of those things that light you up are in your career. And then I would circle the elements that on the opposite side of the things that are in your career that drain you. And I would. And I would go through this kind of like. Call it like a pros and cons comparison t t list and figure out if there's more things that light you up on what you're doing or more things that drain you. If you're doing something and you just have a bunch of circles around things that drain you, you're likely in the wrong career path at the wrong company. And that's okay because it's going to give you an indication that you need to switch. But if you have a lot of things in the wrong role that actually lights you up, then maybe it's in that conversation where you say, hey, is there a way to do a little bit more of the things that light me up and a little bit less of the things that don't. One thing I will say, though, is I've noticed that especially, you know, maybe newer generations, I want to be careful how I say this because I think older people do this as well. We kind of try to cherry pick in roles what we love doing and then get rid of the things we don't like doing. And I would just say in a career, in a job, in anything. And I deal with this all the time. If it's work, there's going to be things we dislike. I don't like firing people. I don't like running a P L all the time. I don't like dealing with insurance. I don't like going back and forth with legal. It's something that I have to do in the role that I sit in. But I love a million other things that are in that role. So it kind of cross out. Now, if I can ever delegate or not be the person that does those other things, that's a different story. But I just say this to say that even if you're sitting at the top of an organization or you're thinking about your career, there's a. There's always things that someone dislikes doing at every stage and every level, and that's why they call it work. Don't let these people that have never built a company or career tell you that work should always feel fun. That's not true. It's bullshit. There's plenty of times where there's stress and problems, and there's plenty of times where things should just feel like Work. That's why we're taught how to work in school. That's why we're taught how to show up on time. That's, That's. I, I can't teach you this on this podcast. That's. That's a lesson for, you know, know that hopefully people learned when they were children. But I think what's really dangerous is when you have people with big platforms saying that work should never feel like work because it wouldn't be work if that was the case. Also, for the artists out there and the creatives and the people that are chasing their passions, I promise you, if you turn your passion into a business, work will come with it and it'll. It'll put a different color on that passion. Again, nothing wrong with it. For example, I love talking on the microphone. I love talking to guests, and I would do it as often as I can, but there's a lot of work that goes into producing the things. Booking guests, traveling for recordings, prepping for episodes. There's 18 million notes showing up on time, releasing on time, all of those things. So, again, even something that someone is very excited about, which in this case is this show, there's still work that comes with it. So, again, those are things that I would do if I was stuck in my career and trying to figure out a new path. Again, you don't have to figure it out right away if you're a young person in your 20s or even in your early 30s. I didn't have any of this figured out till I was in my mid-30s. So you have time. And there's many people that don't figure it out until they're much older. I think there's that, you know, Colonel Sanders, what is he. He did Kentucky Fried Chicken or something in his, like, 50s or 60s or 70s, and Ray Kroc and there's. There's a million other people, what I'm saying, that are much more successful than yours truly that found their passion and their drive and their, you know, thing that lit them up in life much later. So don't feel like if you haven't figured it out in your 20s or 30s, that you're behind. You just have to taste a little bit more. Now let's get into the next area where many people feel lost, that I, you know, and I speak to people all the. About this in our personal life and even on this show. And that comes to dating. Now, I will start by saying it's been a minute since I've been in the dating pool. I understand that I've been married for a long time, but I do have young friends, an office full of young women and men. I have siblings. I have many single friends in my life. I did date at one point. It's pretty good at it. Carson. Once upon a time. But it was also a long time ago, pre dating apps. So I will say that as well. I understand there's a lot of people screaming at the, whatever they're listening this on and saying, you haven't understood what it's like to be in the dating apps and all that, but I do know a thing or two about relationships and getting into relationships and dating. When I did date, as well as, you know, consulting many people and, and here is, is what I would say about this topic. And I say this with the intention of really hoping that people that are struggling in the dating pool or feeling burned out find what I've eventually found in a healthy marriage and, you know, get into the relationship want to be in. So if you're somebody that is struggling in dating, one of the first things that I would say is it can't always be the other people. It can't always be the dating apps. It can't always be the environment that is causing all of these problems and issues and making you feel burned out. The reason I say that confidently is because many people are getting into relationships and many people are in relationships and many people have found love. So we know that there's proof out there to indicate that people can date successfully and can get into great relationships. So the first is auditing and telling yourself that obviously it is possible. Now, it's not to say that there's not a lot of discouragement out there and I've heard horror stories, but we have to remind ourselves that it is possible. It's possible to have a great career, it's possible to have a great marriage, it's possible to be a great parent, it's possible to be in great health, and it's possible to get what we want out of life. If you have that perspective, that's the. That's the most important perspective to have, then I would audit what I was doing. Am I somebody that is constantly on these dating apps only to find that I find somebody and then end up having it fizzle out or be ghosted or not what I want it to be, I would ask yourself, is that the right environment for you? If that keeps happening, are those the right candidates that you should be going after? Again, I can't answer that for people, but that's one of the first things I would do, the next thing I would do, and this is, I think, very important for every individual. If you keep finding somebody and it keeps fizzling out, I would get back to that journal and I would start making a list every time something doesn't work out, why you believe it didn't work out. And I would even go back into past relationships. Why did this one not work out? Why did it. Could it be, you know, the. The person was too short, too tall? Could it be they had, you know, they weren't funny enough, they didn't have blue eyes, they didn't have brown eyes? Whatever the hell it is, Write all the reasons you have. What you're doing there is. You're trying to figure out patterns. You're trying to figure out why these patterns continue to happen, then I would start to really audit maybe the parameters that you're putting on dating in general and the types of people you're going after. I. We did it. Lauren and I did an episode with a dating expert on this podcast a while back and maybe just search Dating Skinny Confidential. It's like I'm so much in my head right now, I can't remember off the top of my head, which it was. Hence Carson, 900 episodes or so. No, I don't remember everything. And we were talking about sometimes people, men and women, put these parameters around the people that they think are their ideal candidates. They have to be X height, they have to have this amount of money, they have to have this personality, they have to look this way. And they create these scenarios where instead of going after, you know, 100% of what's available to them, they.
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They've created this. This kind of narrow framework where, like, now there's only 2% of the people that could fit that box. And if they don't fit that box exactly, they. They quickly move on to the next. What if the person that you think you should be dating is not the kind of person at all? And what if that kind of person you keep having bad luck with? And if you were to open your horizons and broaden your perspectives a little bit and open the ability to invite some other kinds of people in, you might find the love of your life. I think, again, if you keep running into the same types of characters over and over, you know, for the. I said this to my sisters when they were dating for. And to my friends, my female friends, if you're dating that guy, that's the boy or the. Or the. The bad guy that's playing a Bunch of women all the time, you know, and you just happen to be the one girl that's gonna change him and you don't, that's kind of on you, you know, same with the guy. If you keep going for that one girl that keeps around on everybody else and causing problems and going crazy, maybe we have to be realistic about here and we have to recognize our own toxic patterns about what we're attracted to. I would also start to really audit, you know, the things that you're pulling back from or the things that are giving you the ick factor over and over. Right. I would start to say, like, what are those kinds of things? To be clear, there are tremendous opportunities for dating out there and for meeting people. But I think we have told ourselves as society that there are only certain ways that we can meet people now. Namely many of these opportunities on dating apps. You know, Lauren and I were just in Colorado and we were outdoors and running around and going and doing all these different things. And there were so many moments where we saw so many single people, either groups of guys or groups of girls, and we were saying to ourselves, like, why would, you know, why don't people get out into these environments? And again, easier said than done, but I think some good old fashioned confidence building approaching people being, you know, in real life settings, having human interactions are so important. And then the, the last thing I will say, and I've seen so many people get lost here and really kind of fail, is they find a really great person. I know so many of my guy friends that have done this, girls too. And you know, Lauren and I will sit back like, oh, maybe they'll get married. This is the one. Maybe they'll get in a long term relationship. And sure enough, they. One little thing goes wrong, one little bump in the road, one thing kind of turns them off and they say, well, there's somebody else out there. Let me go swipe around again or look around again. And what it is, is nobody takes when in these situations, takes the time to say, you know what? Relationships are really hard. And there's stumbles. Lauren and I just to give you a little bit of vulnerability here and to let you in on our relationship. There are so many ups and downs and so many things that we stumble on and so many conversations that we have to have to write the relationship and get it back on the path. For the married people out there or the people that have been in long term relationships, many of them are probably nodding their head. Long term relationships, marriage, especially when you get into parenting, and family is not easy. It's one of the hardest things that we have to do. But we're committed to solving the problems and working through the issues together. So if you're somebody that's also quick to throw away a relationship at the sign of any trouble or turmoil, that's also something we need to look inward on and figure out why that's the case and make sure that you're working towards dating somebody that's also committed, that you know there's, there's going to be problems. Lauren and I got in a yelling and screaming, screaming, not screaming, but a yelling thing the other day trying to get the kids ready for school. We tried to do a podcast episode yesterday. She's getting ready to come back on maternity leave. Carson was there, whole thing blew up. We had to scrap the whole thing. So these things happened and, you know, we're just committed to working through it. So again, if you're feeling lost in dating relationships, try these things, think about these things and know that there's somebody out there. But it may require either you to change you to focus on different things, or to open your horizons on the way that you're approaching dating in the first place.
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One thing that I do not mess around with is my bedtime routine. I like to do the same thing every night. So I'll turn on all the red light bulbs in my room. I'll put on 5-8 Hz spray, a little lavender magnesium spray. I like the air to be at 67 degrees and I don't mess around with my bed. I take my bed very seriously. And I want an upgraded experience at all times when it comes to the bed. So Bullen Branch sent me their percale sheets. And what I like about these sheets is they're free from toxins and they're made with the finest 100% organic cotton. They're ultra crisp, which I really like. And they have a special cooling weave. So you never sleep hot. I think it's so important to sleep cool. It makes you fall asleep faster. Your body really likes it. And these sheets do not disappoint. They come with a 30 night worry free guarantee, so you can try them. The best part is though, like I said, they're free of toxins. You don't want to be breathing in toxins all night while you're sleeping. They also sent me a waffle blanket. I put that in my guest room. I like to do different layers and have different textures on my bedding, so this was really beautiful as well. If you like sheets that are cool, crisp and breathable. You will love these. Feel the difference an extraordinary night's sleep can make with bullen branch get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets@bullenbranch.com skinny that's bolenbranch b o l l a n d branch.com skinny to save 15% and unlock free shipping exclusions apply.
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Let's talk about Branch Basics. Branch Basics is far and away one of the best discoveries that Lauren and I have made. Doing this show. We had the founder Allison on this podcast multiple times now to talk all about amazing products that they come out with at Branch Basics. Here's the thing. Many of us grew up cleaning our homes with these toxic chemical hormone disrupting cleaning supplies that are so bad for our system, so bad for our bodies, they cause so many issues that we're unaware of. Our pets are breathing these things in. Our kids are crawling on the floor breathing these things in and it's just an absolute disaster. And here's the thing. It doesn't need to be this way. Branch Basics premium starter kit replaces dozens of toxic cleaners. They have no synthetic fragrances, no harsh chemicals, no hormone disruptors and they're just as effective as doing the job that they need do, which is clean the house. They're also safe for babies, pets and the planet. Ever since we made the switch, we have never looked back. Our house feels better, we feel better, we've never been healthier. And again, it's a no brainer because it's cost effective and does the same exact job but without all of the BS that many of these harmful chemical cleaning supplies have. Here's the thing. We are bombarded in our daily lives in modern times with so many different chemicals and toxic ingredients. Whether it comes to our food food or our cleaning supplies or our environment, our clothing even. So, whenever we can choose something that is cleaner, safer and just as effective, we're going to. So check them out. Visit branchbasics.com skinny15 and use code skinny15 at checkout for 15 off + free shipping on your first purchase. That's branchbasics.com skinny15 use code skinny15 for 15 off/ free shipping on your first order of your premium starter kit Today Day.
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Today's episode is brought to you by Thorne, the brand trusted by top performers, elite athletes and people serious about their health. Every night, my entire family does the same thing. We go in the room, we put our red light on, we put on 5-8 Hz or chimes, we get the blankets on the bed. We cool down the air to 67 and we get our vitamin water. And our vitamin water is thorns Magnesium. It's a highly absorbable form of magnesium that supports muscle recovery in a deeper, more restorative sleep. I immediately notice the taste because it's delicious. It's like the best taste ever. And I noticed that I am calmed in my nervous system, which makes it easier to sleep. If I've had a heavy weightlifting day, I notice it helps with my recovery. My kids love the taste. There's no unnecessary additives. It's just, just pure support for your brain and body. They also just launched these travel packets so we take them when we travel too. And then I have my big thorn at the house. I like crave it. I love it. I look forward to it. It is just what my body needs. Ready to level up your performance? Check out Thorne's Magnesium Bisglycinate and more@thorne.com Disclaimer these statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.
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That dovetails nicely into committed relationships or long term relationships or even marriages. If you're an individual right now and you've been in a long term relationship and you're starting to feel lost or discouraged or disconnected, here's an area where I can give a ton of advice. I have basically been with Lauren since I was 20 years old. We've known each other for a very long time. We've been married now almost 10 years. It'll be 10 years next year. And we have three children together and we work together and this is an area that I can speak very confidently on. You know, we've had to really focus and work on relationships and there's been times when you either get disconnected or you're not on the same page or you get discouraged or you feel overwhelmed and, and again, I want to say that this is normal. This is. This is these fairy tales that we grew up with children and where we feel like everything should just be. You know, what is it like heart, eyes and you know, what is it when someone's like love drunk or whatever. You know those cartoons and they did all that. I don't know what I'm talking about. But whenever, you know, it's, it's. It's not all just butterflies and rainbows and hearts. I don't know what the. I'm talking about Carson, but it's not all those things all the time. Time. And I think this is really important for couples to hear, because new couples, especially when you get into these lulls, many people throw away the relationship and then get in this downward spiral. And for the older couples or the people that have been together a little bit longer, like Lauren, me. When you get into these lulls, or maybe you're not being as intimate, or maybe you're not communicating the way you want to, or maybe you've added a child to the. The equation and now you're. You feel like roommates. This is the time to lean in more into the relationship. This is the. If you care about the relationship, if you care about the person, I assume you do if you've been with them this long, if you're married to them, to get those initial sparks back. But we all. What we have to do is we have to each take a step back and say. And admit that we are in a moment of turmoil. We're in a moment of disconnection. We're in a moment where something is not how it used to be. And then we have to tell ourselves that's okay because we are going to work together to get back there. And the first thing we need to do is take a personal account of how we are behaving in the relationship. Are we showing up the way we used to? Are we being as intimate? Are we speaking nicely to our partner? Are we putting the relationship on a pedestal and making sure that it's a priority? Are we doing things that we should be doing? Because we cannot go to our partners and start demanding that of them if we're not showing up with our people, that's really important. It's important for men, it's important for women. It's important for every kind of couple to show up to the table that way. Every time Lauren and I get to this place, you know, there's probably some kind of argument that ensues or some kind of discussion or some kind of event that creates this situation. And then, you know, everyone gets defensive. But what we found, and definitely from experts that we've had on the podcast, this is now the moment to kind of take a personal account, step back, get a little breathing room, and. And then show up in a different kind of way. So the first step, then after doing that, is to have a conversation, to recommit, re, engage and reconnect with the partner. If you are maybe not being as intimate as you used to be. There is nothing that a man wants to hear or that'll bother him more than selling than, you know, attacking his masculinity or telling him why he's not showing up in the bedroom the way he should. There is nothing away, woman. She doesn't want to hear that either. Nobody wants to be attacked. All we need to start the conversation with is, hey, I'd really like to get back to that place. And what can we do to get everyone excited again? How do we. How do we develop that intimate connection? If you are on autopilot because you've now had children and everything is about the children and their school and their after activities and all the stuff that comes with having kids, let's reframe and remind ourselves that the reason we have children is because we're in an intimate relationship with each other. First, the children. Children need to integrate into our lives, not the other way around. Let's get on the same page there. That would be my advice. And let's make sure, and more importantly, children thrive in a loving environment where they see their parents connected and intimate. And it's important for not just us, but for them to see that kind of relationship and to have that kind of relationship. So if that's what you want for them in the future, then make sure that we're doing that in our own lives and make sure that the relationship is being put on that kind of pedestrian. And then, you know, comes the hard part, where if you need to talk to a third party or you need to bring someone in to be able to express your thoughts or your feelings, but again, with the intention that if the relationship is feeling this way, communication is number one, getting with your partner, not attacking them, making sure that you feel hurt. I know that if Lauren ever comes to me and she leads with how she's feeling or how she's hurt or, you know, where she. She's, you know, what she needs. I'm way more receptive than when she comes and starts telling me what I'm not doing or what I'm not bringing or what I should be doing. That's everybody. I'm man or woman. Nobody likes to be attacked. But if you can meet your partner with some empathy, that's a good place to start. So if you're feeling lost in your relationship and you're feeling like it's on autopilot, I would definitely think about doing these things. I would, you know, really focus it in on the conversation with empathy and love first. And then I would get back to also taking personal accountability, to making sure that your showing up again, if you need to journal, if you need to write, if you need to write your partner a letter, whatever it may be knowing that if you're lost in the relationship, it's likely because there's a break or a disconnect where two people are on two different pages and moving in two different directions. And this can cause a lot of turmoil, I always say, and I was talking to a business partner about this the other day. For me, figuring out the business in the career and the health stuff is. Is way easier than the relationship stuff. The relationship's harder. But here's the thing. If you have a rough home relationship, all of the other things, your health, your career, your business, like that, is all going to feel in a lot more turmoil than needs be. The home life has to be stable, the relationship has to be good. You're sharing a house, you're sharing a life with this person. So really focus on that and make sure that you're doing everything to make sure that everybody is on the same page feeling happy and healthy and secure in the relationship. Next area of life, arguably, maybe most important, but I put it at number four, even though it could have been number one, is our health. What if we are feeling lost in our journey of health? What if we're feeling lost in our bodies? What if we're feeling like we're not getting the results we want? What if we're feeling discouraged, maybe even depressed about our personal health and the way we're being accountable to ourselves? This is another area that I can speak very firmly to and confidently in. There have been times in my life where I have let this health slip and I have paid the price. I think that what I've always said on this podcast, if you can keep your health in order, you can keep everything else in order. It builds confidence, it builds trust with yourself. It gives you an outward appearance that you're proud of, which is going to enable you to do so much more in life because you just feel good. There's nothing more important than that. And most importantly, secondly, if you're healthy, you're going to be here longer, which means you're going to show up longer for the people that you care about the most. So if you're somebody and you're just starting your health journey and you're maybe not at the. The weight you want to be, or you don't have the muscle mass that you want, or you're not in the cardiovascular health that you want and you don't know where to start, the answer is just start by starting with something that you can commit to and stick with for a long period of time. I think a Lot of people fail when it comes to their health, health because they set these huge, lofty goals of either weight loss or muscle mass, or they need to commit and do this certain challenge by a certain period of time. And when they fall short, they then get discouraged and they go backwards. For me, when I moved to Texas, when we left LA, I was probably 20 pounds under the weight that I needed to be. And I wasn't sleeping well and I wasn't feeling well, and I just wasn't in the right head. Space. Space. And so when I just. When I got back here and I started working out again, I made a commitment that I was just picking one thing. In this case, for me, it was weightlifting. It was just, you know, a couple days a week that I could stick to for one year. And my goal was not weight loss, it was not muscle gain. It was, can I build a routine for one year that I'm excited about, that I keep going to? Well, what happened was after that year, I started to see results, but more importantly is I started to feel good and I started to feel like this was just part of my daily routine. So I slowly ease myself back into it. Then after that year, I set, you know, a specific goal. I wanted to gain X amount of pounds and put X amount of muscle on. Started to do that. The point being that I didn't create this kind of crazy, condensed, lofty goal. I didn't need a summer body. I didn't need to lose X amount of pounds. I just picked a specific, you know, routine that I could stick with. I think a lot of people get overwhelmed because there is so much advice when it comes to the health space. What to eat, what supplements to take, what medicine to take, you know, who to listen to, what exercises to do. For me, if you're feeling overwhelmed, you're lost. Make a list again of the activities that light you up, what you like doing, you know, what you know you'll commit to, whether that's yoga or Pilates or if it's walking or if it's weightlifting or whatever, and pick something that you'll stick to without even thinking. Thinking about a body goal or, you know, a goal around some kind of challenge. Just pick a routine that you can stick with. The other stuff will start to come. What's most important is that you start keeping the promises to yourself and you start putting health first. I also think that people struggle with health because they think it's only about the outward appearance. It's not. For me, health is about feeling good, feeling confident, feeling Like, I can do hard things. And what I've realized is when I stick to a specific health routine, other areas of my life improve. I get better at taking care of my relationship. I get better at my career. I get happier. I have better ideas. I find myself less anxious, less depressed. I've said a thousand times on this podcast, if you're somebody that finds yourself constantly feeling sorry for yourself or you're depressed or you're not feeling good, get your body moving, get in the gym, go do something hard, do something challenging. Take on a sport, take on a hobby. For me, it was tennis when I played 10. Tennis. It's hard. I don't. I can't think about anything but tennis and the form and swinging. I get a full hour to get out of my head and not think about any of my problems. If it's weightlifting, if you're new to it, get in there, work with a trainer or work on your own or work with a partner, and you'll see. You don't have time to think about all the things that are ailing us or making us feel bad because you're outside of yourself. Lauren's grandmother used to say, all the time, get outside of yourself. So, you know, taking care of your health and taking care of your body, body does not just have the benefit of giving you a better outward appearance or improved outward appearance. It also has the benefit of helping you with mental clarity, mental fatigue, making sure that you are managing your stress and depression and your anxiety and, you know, building that confidence, muscle. So if I was feeling lost, these are the things that I would do, and these are the places I would start. Another thing that we're confident about now and when it comes to health is you. There's a lot of data out there. You know, we have guys like Gary Brecker or Mark Hyman on this podcast, or Dr. Will Cole talking about how you can. Or Brigham Bueller. You can talk about getting your labs and getting the information, and there's things like function, health and. And other platforms that you can get your information very easily. Figure out what you're deficient in, figure out what you're taking too much of, figure out what your blood work looks like, get your baseline levels. This is at least going to give you a greater picture of where you're at. I think one of the most challenging things when it comes to health, health and fitness is just going in blind. Oh, I don't feel good, or I can't do this. And, you know, we don't have any idea of like, well, are you deficient in D? Do you not have enough vitamin B? You know, is your hair falling out? What's the reason? Do you have these kind of vitamins and minerals? And, you know, are you low in this? Are you high in that understanding these things? We have this kind of technology now. It's all cost effective, and so it's important to get that information as well. The last thing I would do if I was overwhelmed and stressed and trying to get my health in order is I would figure out a really solid morning and evening routine to enhance your sleep. And there's many people that talk about this way more and way better than I can. Obviously, Dr. Andrew Huberman's talked about it a million times. He did it on this podcast. And, you know, people like Matt Walker, who's been on this podcast, there's a lot of different sleep experts. But what I can tell you is if you don't have your health under control and if you're overwhelmed with your health journey, no amount of diet, no amount of fitness, no amount of, like, workout plans is going to help you as much as getting a solid night of sleep. And what I can tell you is the best way to do that is to keep it consistent and develop a morning and night routine. Again, there's many resources to go and do that. This is no new information, but if I was square one, didn't know where to start feeling overwhelmed, I would start with, with that and. And then work into the other things. The last one is for the parents out there. If you're a parent and you're feeling overwhelmed, you're feeling lost, lost. All of a sudden your life has changed, and it's no longer you and your partner, and you're sitting there with a new child or two new children or even more. We just had our third, and you feel like, holy, my life has gotten away from me. I have so much going on. I'm so overwhelmed. I get it. I have three of my own. There's three under five. It's been a massive adjustment, you know, for Lauren. And I go, and, and, and, you know, parenting is, is never easy. I empathize with anyone who's a parent. I always laugh at my single friends that don't have kids and talk about all these great routines that they have and their morning routines that take an hour and their night routines and all the, you know, I. I can barely get out the front door in the morning without, you know, stumbling and stressing and falling over myself or tripping on a shoe or having A kid scream or having a kid yell. Hopefully this doesn't discourage anyone from becoming a parent because it is also the best thing we've ever done done. But if you're a parent out there and you're starting to feel like your kids are taking over your life, this is a moment to step back and recalibrate. Once again, I will say and reinforce. Your kids need to integrate into your life, not the other way around. We all want to take care of our kids. We all want to be the best providers possible. We all want our kids to have more than we did, but they need to integrate into our lives. And, and then we need to tailor our lives to adjust to the new fact of being a parent. And so if, if that requires us to step back for a second and realize, okay, I don't need to completely change every single thing in my life. I just now need to integrate this child into it. That's the first reframing. So many parents get overwhelmed because they base their entire life over their kids wants and needs, which sounds like the right thing to do, but in many cases is going to lead to burnout, it's going to lead to lead to resentment, it's going to lead to resentment of your partners, it's going to lead to stress around your children. And that's not what we want. We want the kids to be in a happy, healthy environment and we want the parent to be happy and healthy. So if I was feeling lost and feeling overwhelmed, the first thing I would do is make sure that I wasn't feeling guilty or overwhelmed about integrating them into our life. If Lauren and I need to travel, then the kids need to adjust to that fact. If Lauren and I need to go to work because we need to put food on the table and provide, then the kids need to adjust to that. If, if, you know, if the kids need to go to a certain school because that's where we're districted or that's where we want to live, then that's what's going to happen. The kids have to tailor in. This whole idea that we're going to change everything just for their benefit is not an option for us. We're going to make it work with the environment that we've already curated and created. So there's that. Then I would take a step back and tell yourself as much as hard as parenting is, is, and as overwhelming as it can be, you are not the first person to do this. We are not the first people to do this. Some people have more than others. Some people are resource more than others. We're lucky to have help in our life. We need to have help. We work at the same time, not using it as an excuse, not justifying it, just stating it as a fact. There's plenty of people in many places, in many parts of the world that have it way worse than people living in this country. Let's remember that there are, there are our ancestors that had it way worse than us with sickness and disease and villages being pillaged and raided and plundered that have it way harder and way worse than us. People have been parenting for years and years and years and somehow they've managed to do it. So taking a step back, taking a deep breath, reminding ourselves that we're not the first ones to do this and that we're going to be okay is also important.
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What what I've done in my house is I've looked at all my habits and I've tried to take those habits and make them non toxic. And something that I do every single day is I make my kids eggs and I want to make sure that the pan that I'm cooking their eggs on is non toxic. So and then I just kind of fell in love with the brand because everything they do is non toxic. So for instance, instance I got their wood cutting board. I learned that you swallow so much microplastic and when you're cutting on a plastic cutting board that's getting into your food. So I switched to their wood cutting board. There's zero plastic involved. I also switched to their bakeware. So my daughter and I are constantly baking and I think this is a good one, a good switch to make if you make muffins or cupcakes, cakes, we make cookies a lot. So to have those non toxic baking sheets is so important to me. If you've been eyeing their Internet famous 12 piece cookware set that I have, now is the perfect time to buy. You can shop caraway risk free, enjoy fast, free shipping, easy returns and a 30 day trial. Plus if you visit CarawayHome.com TSD10 you can take an additional 10% off your your next purchase. This deal is exclusive for our listeners so visit carawayhome.com TSC10 or use code TSC10 at checkout. Caraway Non Toxic Cookware Made Modern I am a big creatine lover. I have loved creatine for the last year. I take it for my workout. I love it. And one of my favorite brands, a brand that I love so much that I actually did a co brand with Array actually just launched launched Tone and it's their first gummy supplement that supports lean sculpted muscles and enhances workout performance. And surprise, surprise, it has creatine in it and it has exactly the amount that I take. So I take 5 grams every day. I love taking 5 grams. I cannot say enough good things about it, especially if you like lifting weights. So the one that they created is really cool because not Only is there 5 grams of creatine in it, but there's also this thing called called slim biotics in it for optimized body composition and ginger root for antioxidant protection. Array is a really incredible product line and they have a lot of integrity around their products. All of their products are laxative free, non gmo, gluten free, filler free, nut free, crueltyfree, non habit forming and vegan. I like to take three of the Tone gummies if I'm going for a workout. You could even do four if you want want. They also taste absolutely delicious. While you're on the site you have to check out their 100 natural supplements. I personally would also get their bloat. Those are the two that I would recommend to you. Go to array.com and use code skinny15 at checkout to receive 15 off your first purchase or auto ship order. That's array.com use code skinny15 at checkout. Something that I took my entire pregnancy and obviously check with your own doctor. But this is what I did was take creatine and I take creatine every single day. So what I do is I habit stack it into my day. I will take a big jug to the gym, I'll put a ton of ice in there water and then I'll froth up my creatine and I'll mix in some aminos sometimes. And the creatine that I used and use is by Momentous. You guys have been introduced to Momentous multiple times because we're always talking about it. Momentous is really a gold standard, especially in creatine. They source the best, the most purest and most effective creatine which is really important. It's single sourced from Germany and it's not cut with junk or fillers which I like. And I also am such a fan of lemon. So they do a creatine lemon and it's absolutely amazing. They have like these new lemon travel packs. So sometimes if I'm running late I can just throw them in my car and take them to the gym and put them in my water. I started taking creatine because I was really interested in what it did to your muscles. It's really important. I was lifting weights, I still am lifting weights and I wanted to use creatine to support that. But then I found out that it's not just for muscle. It's an essential daily fuel for your brain, your body and your long term performance. Head to livemomentous.com and use code skinny for up to 35% off your first order. That's skinnyvemomentous.com let's talk about my favorite female run nonprofit. I'm so passionate about the charity I Stand With My Pack. It's dedicated to saving animals and preventing cruelty locally and globally. So I was introduced to this charity by a friend of mine, Lucy, probably about five years ago and she was really passionate about how much that I Stand With My Pack helps dogs. So what they do is they rescue dogs from high kill shelters in Southern California and they help them find loving foster homes or forever homes. There is an urgent need right now for donations and fosters. So even if you can donate a dollar, every dollar counts. This goes to helping to cover medical care, food, transportation for rescue dogs. You can donate or sign up to foster@istanwithmypack.org that's istandwithmypack.org I also sometimes will just venmo them. It makes it really simple. More information@istanwithmypack.org.
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I did an episode on Core Values a while back, which I mentioned earlier in this episode of values that I want to instill in the children. One of them is resilience and being self assured. So again, if you feel like you need to be doing everything for these kids again, take a step back, let them figure it out for themselves. Let them kind of struggle a little bit. They'll be fine. We were all fine. Give them what your parents gave you, which is the trust and confidence that they can figure some things out on their own. And then if maybe you're in a situation where kids have taken over your life and your relationship again, we need to step back and go back to the relationship advice and say, okay, we had these kids because we love each other and we want to build a family. Family. But we can't allow these children to ruin the relationship and the foundation that created them in the first place. So that's what I would do. I would also then reframe and tell yourself that you don't need to be a perfect parent. There is no such thing as a perfect parent. Some days I feel like I nailed it and knocked it out of the park batted 100. Some days I feel like I did an absolute job and I know Lauren feels the same way. And I am sure many of the parents out there can relate. And that's okay too where you know, you're not going to show up and bat 100% every time and either are your kids. And so being okay with that, being okay with not being perfect all the time, being okay with just doing your best as often as you can, is also important. And then the last part, if you're starting to feel overwhelmed or stressed out as a parent, is to recognize, and I do this all the time, how quickly this is all going to go. I saw a quote the other day from Patrick Bet David, who I like following and by the way, open invite Patrick. That said, one of the hardest things as a parent is to recognize that you are raising children so that one day they no longer need you. I could have butchered that, but it really hit me. And then I read another statistic the other day. Could have been by him or could have been by someone else that says basically by the time your children are 12 years old, you've spent 75% of the time that you're going to spend with them. With them. Right? And so as parents, let's remember they're not always going to be this little. They're not always going to be in the nest. They're not always going to be kicking and screaming and throwing tantrums. They're not always going to need us to drive them. They're not always going to need us to change them or make them food or be at the house. And with that perspective, you're going to have a lot more patience and grace and appreciation for having these little ones in the house while you can almost going to tear up here thinking about it, Carson. But again, whenever I start to feel overwhelmed or stressed or lost, I start to get that. I start to think about these kind of perspectives, you know, in my career I start to think, you know, one day I'm not going to have the energy to be able to do these kind of jobs with my health. I'm, I tell myself, you know, one day I'm going to be an 80 year old man that's going to be struggling to stay in the shape. Actually when I'm 80, I'm going to be jacked, Carson. I'm going to be, I'm going to be gnarly and I will take some kind of, of who knows what I'll have to take by then. But I, I'll do all the things. But jokes aside, giving yourselves that perspective and understanding that some of the most frustrating moments or some of the moments where we feel the most overwhelmed or lost are going to pass for the young people out there. I remember, you know, being stressed and overwhelmed about money when I was younger and had four roommates or five roommates and we're all living in one place and we could barely rub two nickels together to be able to buy anything or do anything. Now, as almost a 40 year old man with a family and three kids, I look back on those times and just think how incredible they were. I had very few responsibilities, we had so much fun. We had our whole world in front of us. There's so much opportunity if you look at it like that. So again, perspective is, is really important, especially if you're starting to feel burnout or lost or being overwhelmed. Journaling really helps. Again, talking about the things that light you up and don't light you up and what you love and what you dislike and all that. So that's, that's my advice for the parents out there. Okay, this is a heavy one to end on. And this is if you feel like you're lost in life in general, maybe you wake up and you feel like a rudderless ship in the night in the wind and you're just all over the place and you don't know what to focus on, you don't know what to do and you don't know where you're going and you're feeling stressed, stressed, maybe anxious, maybe depressed and you are just essentially lost in life. You don't know, you know who your partner is, you don't know if you want to follow this career, you don't know if you want to be in a long term relationship. You don't know if you want to be a parent at some point, you don't know what you're doing with your health. You're just lost in general. Here's what I would do if this was me. I would dive deep into stories and books and content around people that excite you, that you admire, that you're fired up about. I would get as much good content as possible. For me, that's always been books, which I'll share some in a little bit, and stories about people that have either persevered or people whose lives have ended up in places that I admire. If it's from a content perspective, make sure you're getting rid of any toxic content that's to going making you feel bad or make sure you're following, not following people whose life path you would never want to emulate or follow. And then I would really start, you know, consuming as much of that kind of stuff as possible and starting. And what you're doing is you're trying to find examples and hints and clues about lives that have been lived before you. One of the greatest things about the era that we live in now with AI and with books and with podcasts and with YouTube and with a million different documentaries, is you can go through and start to look at people that you admire, and you can try to figure out what they did before you. And what you're looking is you're not looking to do exactly what they did, because that might not be possible, but you're looking to strip out the traits, the habits, the. The patterns of the things that they did to get to where they are. That's where I would start. I would also remind myself how lucky we all are to be living in these modern times. As much as sometimes the news or bad media can bombard us with things that are going wrong in the world, we have technology at our fingertips. We can, you know, call a car or a taxi or an Uber or even a robot at this point to take us where we need to go. We have medical interventions that we've never had before. We are directly connected to the world at a press of a button. We can travel across the world in a span of hours. We, you know, have so much abundance around us and so many things going on that our ancestors could never even fathom or dream of. And I think sometimes we. We get overwhelmed and start feeling sorry for ourselves. You don't realize how far human beings have come and, and tech and how far technology's come and how much easier we have it than previous generations. Some of the biggest complaints that we have here are. Are the comparisons of what other people have compared to what we have, even if we have things. And I think that, you know, realizing that perspective and recognizing that we do have a lot of things and that there's obviously some people that are further and some people behind is such an important perspective. The last thing that I would do if I was just feeling lost in general is I would step back and I would realize that you're not alone in feeling lost or overwhelmed. Many people feel this way. Many people are wandering through life pretending like they have it all figured out, pretending like they're doing everything right, pretending like they're living their lives the way that everyone else should be, and. And that's just not the Case, there are many people struggling just as much as you. And what I've found in my personal life, when I feel lost or overwhelmed, reaching out across the board and talking to people that are in my life, whether that's, you know, people that are in my personal life, whether that's family members, whether that's a mentor, whether that's, that's, you know, somebody online or a group going and having that shared experience with someone else is so important. People in AA and in recovery know this better than anyone. It's that community in developing, you know, people that are going through the same kind of issues and are facing the same kind of troubles. Being able to speak to those kinds of people and understand that you're not alone in these thought processes is so important. So if I was feeling lost in life, I would really, you know, take some personal accountability and realize that, okay, I'm not the only one. And there's resources and there's people that have also felt lost before that have figured it out. And I would start to pick maybe three or four of those different kinds of people or personalities, and I would consume as much content on them as possible. What they did to get out of it, what they did to get ahead, and that will, that. That action of even just trying to find those patterns will start putting you on the right path. Path. Okay. Hopefully this episode was helpful. I by no means am the perfect expert on any of these stuff. I'm even hesitant to call myself an expert at all. This is just my perspective on things that I would do if I felt lost or overwhelmed. I hope this episode was helpful. I said that I would share some resources and some things that I think would be helpful for people that are looking to solve different areas of their life. One, if you're feeling lost in your career, there's a great book called the Practice by Seth Godin. He has a bunch of different books, Purple Cow and the, you know, a thousand different ones that are great. But the Practice by Seth Godin, it helps reframe creative or professional ruts into intentional daily progress. That's a great one for people in their career. Feeling lost. If you're feeling lost in dating, there's a book I read a long time ago called Attached by Amir Levi and Rachel Heller. This is going to help listeners or viewers understand their attachment styles and their patterns and dating again, getting back to personal accountability and understanding yourself. That's a great book. Again, attached. If you're feeling lost in your health. We have had the great benefit of having so many different health experts on this podcast over the years, you think people like, you know, Andrew Huberman and Dr. Will Cole and Peter Attia and Dr. Josh Axe and, and you know, all of these different people and, you know, all there's a bunch on this podcast. So not to plug ourselves, but there's many different health topics on this podcast. But if I was going to select a book, there's a great book called outlive by Dr. Peter Attia, who's also a friend that's like, you know, it's a roadmap on healthspan versus lifespan. And then, you know, I would also check out the book Atomic Habits by James Clear. That's a great book as well, because it's going to help you build the habits around your health. And then, you know, any episode that we've done with, you know, guys like Huberman or Atia or Gary Breca or Dr. Josh Axe or Will Cole or any of these people that have been in the podcast, there's so many different areas to get your health in order. If you're feeling lost as a parent, there is a great podcast that Dear media produces by Dr. Eliza Pressman. And we also, on this podcast did an episode with Dr. Eliza on this show all about parenting. We also did one with Dr. Becky. That one was really helpful with Lauren and I. Dr. Becky's also great for parenting. So those are some great resources. And then if you're feeling lost in life in general, this is me beating a dead horse. But I think every single person should read Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. I'm reading again. It's been a long time since I've read it. The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer. I'm sure many people have read that book, but, you know, those are great. And then a recent guest was Donald Miller, and he wrote a book called Hero on a Mission, which is, you know, a structured journaling method for making your life feel meaningful again. And I highly recommend that book. So those are some resources that I would recommend if you want to kind of take it beyond what I shared with you on this episode. I hope you like this series of solos again. Lauren will be back this Thursday, and we have a slate of amazing guests coming up in New York and LA and in Austin. We're going to be batching a ton before the end of the year, but I hope these episodes, episodes were helpful. And, you know, they're evergreen, so you can go back at any time. Again, to recap episode 872, 876, 877, and 878 all touch on different areas that I think are important for people to further enhance their lives from the perspective of yours truly. With that, Carson, we're going to wrap up another solo episode and we will see you next time with Lauren back on the show. Thanks, everybody.