Summary of Episode 1239: "My Father Flying" by Jan Beatty

Introduction

In Episode 1239 of The Slowdown: Poetry & Reflection Daily, produced by American Public Media and hosted by Micah Kielbaun, listeners are invited into a deeply personal exploration of grief, memory, and the enduring presence of loved ones through poetry. This episode features the poignant poem “My Father Flying” by Jan Beatty, which serves as a vessel for reflecting on loss, connection, and the landscapes that hold our memories.

Micah Kielbaun’s Personal Narrative

Micah Kielbaun opens the episode by sharing his intimate family history, setting the stage for a heartfelt reflection on grief and resilience. He recounts his mother's 35-year career as a flight nurse, detailing the emotional and physical toll of transporting patients who required advanced medical care across the Pacific Northwest.

"An ambulance ride would often take too long. It was hard work, physically and emotionally. There was danger to it too." ([00:49])

Micah notes the profound impact of loss on his family, highlighting the tragic helicopter crashes that claimed the lives of his mother’s colleagues and his own parents. These experiences instilled in him an acute awareness of mortality and the lingering presence of those who have passed.

"I learned that I was born into that time of grief. Maybe it's why I'm the poet of the family." ([00:49])

Themes of Grief and Memory

Delving deeper, Micah reflects on the nature of grief as both a heavy burden and a meaningful practice. He emphasizes the importance of community and rituals in navigating loss, suggesting that while loved ones may physically depart, their essence remains intertwined with our lives.

"Humans are permeable to loss. In that way, grief feels sometimes like a burden, a heavy one. But it is also a practice." ([00:49])

Micah shares how small rituals and memories serve as lifelines, allowing him to honor those he has lost while finding moments of lightness and connection. Whether through a shared drink or a familiar landscape, these acts help maintain the presence of loved ones in his daily life.

Introduction of "My Father Flying" by Jan Beatty

Transitioning to the poem, Micah introduces Jan Beatty’s “My Father Flying,” which encapsulates his year-long journey of mourning and remembrance following his father’s death. The poem serves as a narrative of walking through places that were significant to his father, weaving together personal anecdotes and vivid imagery.

Analysis of the Poem

“My Father Flying" is a meditative piece that captures Micah’s interactions with his father’s former haunts, blending memory with the natural world. The poem begins with Micah recounting his visits to his father’s favorite spots, such as the local Texaco station and the VFW Post 5012, where his father spent time with fellow veterans.

"The two slumped over vets at the bar bobbed their heads and raised their beers." ([02:15])

These scenes are not just physical locations but symbolic spaces where Micah feels his father's presence. The act of sharing stories and raising a beer in his father's memory exemplifies the communal aspect of mourning and the sustaining power of shared narratives.

As Micah walks through these familiar areas, he begins to perceive his father "flying" through the landscape, symbolizing an enduring connection that transcends physical absence. The imagery of "red maple" and "white patch in the December branches" evokes a sense of continuity and the omnipresence of memories.

"After that I saw my father flying in the trees by the old roads... Everywhere." ([05:50])

The poem beautifully intertwines the natural environment with personal loss, suggesting that his father's spirit is interwoven with the very fabric of his surroundings. This blending of memory and nature offers a comforting perspective on loss, portraying it as an integral part of life's ongoing journey.

Conclusion

Episode 1239 of The Slowdown masterfully navigates the complexities of grief through Micah Kielbaun’s personal reflections and Jan Beatty’s evocative poem. By intertwining narrative and poetry, the episode provides listeners with a profound understanding of how loss shapes our identities and how memories and rituals help sustain the bonds we share with those who have passed. Through heartfelt storytelling and lyrical beauty, The Slowdown invites us all to pause, reflect, and find solace in the shared human experience of love and loss.

Notable Quotes:

• Micah Kielbaun on grief as a practice:

  "Humans are permeable to loss. In that way, grief feels sometimes like a burden, a heavy one. But it is also a practice." ([00:49])

• Reflection on enduring presence through memory:

  "While I am on this earth, I know myself by who I love. When someone I love leaves the earth, the love is still there." ([00:49])

• Imagery from the poem:

  "After that I saw my father flying in the trees by the old roads... Everywhere." ([05:50])

Final Thoughts

This episode not only honors the memory of loved ones but also underscores the role of poetry in processing and expressing complex emotions. Listeners are encouraged to engage with their own experiences of grief and remembrance, finding comfort and connection through the shared language of poetry.