1308: Mother's Rules by Yalie Saweda Kamara

Summary

Summary of "The Slowdown: Poetry & Reflection Daily" Episode 1308: "Mother's Rules" by Yalie Saweda Kamara

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Introduction

In Episode 1308 of The Slowdown: Poetry & Reflection Daily, hosted by Major Jackson and produced by American Public Media in partnership with The Poetry Foundation, listeners are guided through a poignant exploration of familial relationships and cultural expectations through the lens of poetry. Released on March 6, 2025, this episode features the evocative poem "Mother's Rules" by Yalie Saweda Kamara, offering a deep reflection on the enduring impact of parental guidance into adulthood.

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Major Jackson's Personal Reflection

The episode opens with Major Jackson sharing a personal anecdote that sets the stage for the evening's thematic journey. At [01:05], he recounts a formative memory from his adolescence:

"I'm Major Jackson and this is the Slowdown. My mother once walked into my bedroom that I shared with my brother. Through gritted teeth she slowly said, you live like dogs in here, and walked away, pure revulsion on her face." [01:05]

This vivid portrayal of his mother's disapproval over the untidy state of his room serves as a catalyst for Major Jackson's introspection. He delves into the dichotomy between his mother's gentle nature and her stark transformation when upset:

"My mother was a gentle soul, a woman with a smile that lit up any space. When she became angry, she transformed. Her whole sweet demeanor became a haunting plague of disgusted looks." [01:05]

This duality highlights the profound influence parental figures can exert, especially during the tumultuous years of adolescence.

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Reading of "Mother's Rules" by Yalie Saweda Kamara

Transitioning seamlessly, Major Jackson introduces the poem "Mother's Rules," authored by Yalie Saweda Kamara. This poem is a curated list of ten admonitions from a mother to her child, encapsulating cultural, linguistic, and social directives. The poem serves as both a personal testament and a universal reflection on the complexities of familial expectations.

Key excerpts from the poem include:

1. Faith and Prayer

   "If you see me praying in the living room, never sit in front of me. You are not God." [02:00]

2. Culinary Preferences

   "When we go to a restaurant and I don't know any foods on the menu, never order me a meal that is spelled with silent letters. I came to eat, not to explore." [02:30]

3. Cultural Identity

   "You speak like Shaba ranks. Your accent is funny, but keep practicing." [03:00]

4. Language and Relationships

   "Try to learn the language of your lover and his family. They could be smiling to your face and getting ready to trade you for six goats and three mules during your first trip to their homeland." [04:00]

5. Personal Appearance and Superstition

   "Consider the consequences of purchasing human hair, wigs, second-hand clothing and used furniture. Maybe you will feel beautiful and also save money, but you never know whose bad luck or misfortune will be sitting on your head, body or in the home in which you sleep." [05:00]

6. Religious Identity

   "Your father is Muslim so you are too. 1989-1993 I am Christian so you are too. 1993-2012 I am Catholic now, but you keep praying. 2012-present." [06:00]

7. Humor and Forgiveness

   "You laugh at me now like I laughed at my mother, like she laughed at hers, like your daughters will laugh at you and I will live long enough to forgive your folly." [07:00]

The poem intricately weaves directives that oscillate between practical advice and cultural mandates, reflecting the layered nature of parental guidance within immigrant and multicultural contexts.

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Insights and Conclusions

Following the recitation of "Mother's Rules," Major Jackson offers a thoughtful analysis of the poem's themes and their resonance in adult life. He reflects on how the echoes of parental voices persist well into adulthood, shaping personal habits and worldviews:

"Today's poem shows how we impossibly carry our parents' voices well into our adulthood, a measure by which to shape our lives independent of their nurturance and instructions." [07:00]

This reflection underscores the enduring influence of parental expectations and the journey towards self-definition. Major Jackson shares his personal evolution from reacting to his mother's reprimands by maintaining a tidy living space to adopting daily practices of making his bed, symbolizing a conscious effort to internalize and transcend his upbringing positively.

The episode culminates in a nuanced appreciation of how poetry serves as a medium to pause, reflect, and connect with universal human experiences. By sharing "Mother's Rules," Major Jackson invites listeners to contemplate their own familial narratives and the intricate dance between obedience, identity, and independence.

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Conclusion

Episode 1308 of The Slowdown masterfully blends personal storytelling with literary artistry to explore the profound impact of parental influence. Through Major Jackson's engaging narration and Kamara's incisive poetry, listeners are offered a moment of reflection on the complexities of growing up and the lasting imprints of our parents' voices. This episode exemplifies The Slowdown's mission to provide a daily ritual of calm, inspiration, and connection through the timeless power of poetry.

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Notable Quotes

• Major Jackson [01:05]:

  "Our school clothes blanketed the floor in piles, dirty socks everywhere... She used the voice that was all rebuke, that said, you are infecting me at my deepest core with your lack of hygiene."

• From "Mother's Rules" [02:30]:

  "When we go to a restaurant and I don't know any foods on the menu, never order me a meal that is spelled with silent letters. I came to eat, not to explore."

• Major Jackson [07:00]:

  "Today's poem shows how we impossibly carry our parents' voices well into our adulthood, a measure by which to shape our lives independent of their nurturance and instructions."

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Further Engagement

Listeners are encouraged to engage with The Slowdown by exploring its extensive back catalog featuring previous hosts such as Tracy K. Smith and Ada Limón, as well as guest hosts like Jenny Xie and Amanda Gorman. To receive daily poems and reflections, visit slowdownshow.org and subscribe to the newsletter or follow them on Instagram @slowdownshow.

Transcript

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[Major Jackson]

I'm Major Jackson and this is the Slowdown. My mother once walked into my bedroom that I shared with my brother. Through gritted teeth she slowly said, you live like dogs in here, and walked away, pure revulsion on her face. I was an adolescent boy. She was right. Our school clothes blanketed the floor in piles, dirty socks everywhere. My brother's Purple rain and my Dr. Julius Irving posters flapped away from the wall. Matchbox cars and GI Joe figures littered the doorway. Scattered cassette tapes and empty plates sat atop old homework next to half full cans of Coke. Flies walked their edges. She often chided us, but for some reason that day she pierced me. She used the voice that was all rebuke, that said, you are infecting me at my deepest core with your lack of hygiene. My mother was a gentle soul, a woman with a smile that lit up any space. When she became angry, she transformed. Her whole sweet demeanor became a haunting plague of disgusted looks. That day I cleaned my room. I stacked washed clothes and organized school books. The next morning, in every morning since after putting my feet on the floor, I make my bed. Today's poem shows how we impossibly carry our parents voices well into our adulthood, a measure by which to shape our lives independent of their nurturance and instructions. Mother's Rules by Yeli Sawida Kamara for my Mother Agatha Kamara 1. If you see me praying in the living room, never sit in front of me. You are not God. 2. When we go to a restaurant and I don't know any foods on the menu, never order me a meal that is spelled with silent letters. I came to eat, not to explore. 3. You didn't make food, no God did. You cooked food. Watch your English, watch your faith. 4. Your Creole is offensive. When you speak you sound like Shaba ranks. Your accent is funny, but keep practicing. It is the only way we will be able to gossip in peace while at the supermarket. 5. Try to learn the language of your lover and his family. They could be smiling to your face and getting ready to trade you for six goats and three mules during your first trip to their homeland. 6. If anyone stares at you for too long more than five seconds, start speaking an imaginary language while maintaining eye contact. They will be the first to look away. 7. Consider the consequences of purchasing human hair, wigs, second hand clothing and used furniture. Maybe you will feel beautiful and also save money, but you never know whose bad luck or misfortune will be sitting on your head, body or in the home in which you sleep. Buy what you can truly afford. 8. Your father is Muslim so you are too. 1989-1993 I am Christian so you are too. 1993-2012 I am Catholic now, but you keep praying. 2012-present 9. You laugh at me now like I laughed at my mother, like she laughed at hers, like your daughters will laugh at you and I will live long enough to forgive your folly. 10. Just make sure to pray. Amen. The Slowdown is a production of American Public Media in partnership with the Poetry Foundation. This project is also supported in part by the National Endowment for the Arts. On the [e-mail] to get a poem delivered to you daily, go to slowdownshow.org and sign up for our newsletter. And find us on Instagram @downdownshow and bluesky slowdownshow.org.

[Podcast Host]

The Soul to Story podcast is about how teaching kids to read went wrong, but now we have a about a school district where things are going very right.

[Fresh Step Representative]

Let me make sure my friends are sitting crisscross applesauce hands in their lap.

[Major Jackson]

I've never had a child that couldn't read.

[Podcast Host]

How did they do it?

[Fresh Step Representative]

When I tell some of my other colleagues that may be at other schools that this is what I do. They would say, you kidding me?

[Podcast Host]

New episodes of Sold a Story are available now in your podcast, apparently.