1311: Gratitude by Patrick Dundon

Summary

The Slowdown: Poetry & Reflection Daily - Episode 1311: "Gratitude" by Patrick Dundon

Host Introduction and Personal Reflection

Timestamp: 00:59

In this episode of The Slowdown, host Major Jackson delves into the theme of gratitude through Patrick Dundon's evocative poem, "Gratitude." Jackson opens with a personal anecdote about navigating the end of a four-year relationship. He shares a conversation with his friend Jennifer, who recommended a year of solitude to gain clarity—a suggestion he initially resisted. Jackson reflects:

"She might as well have said you should travel to Mars on a flying tricycle. That may well work for monks, I countered, but you forget my need for validation and comfort is several galaxies long." (00:59)

This dialogue sets the stage for exploring the complexities of human connections and the introspection that follows personal upheaval.

Exploring the Journey to Gratitude

Timestamp: 02:15

Jackson transitions into discussing the essence of gratitude as depicted in Dundon's poem. He emphasizes the speaker's journey from relational turmoil to a state of unadulterated joy and contentment. Jackson remarks on the speaker's healing process:

"Today's poem puts us in touch with what it means to experience unadulterated joy, one that is owed to an exquisite contentment." (02:15)

He highlights the speaker’s realization of self-sufficiency in happiness, contrasting it with past dependencies:

"I think I am healed. I do not want what I do not have." (04:20)

Analysis of Patrick Dundon's "Gratitude"

Timestamp: 02:30 - 05:50

Jackson provides a thoughtful analysis of Dundon's poem, unpacking its layers of meaning. He notes the speaker's acknowledgment of past hardships without harboring resentment:

"Sure, my mother did not hold me enough... But I do not resent her." (03:05)

This acceptance is portrayed as a foundation for genuine gratitude. Jackson discusses the internal conflict the speaker faces when attempting to express gratitude, juxtaposing it with the societal inclination to focus on lack:

"All poems, I think, are about lack, language's inability to capture the real." (04:00)

The poem illustrates the struggle to articulate true contentment without falling into superficial expressions of thanks. Jackson underscores the speaker's desire to transcend conventional gratitude by seeking a state devoid of desire:

"I tell Jonathan I will find a new poem, one without desire, or better yet, without birds at all." (05:30)

Concluding Reflections

Timestamp: 05:55 - 06:43

In his closing remarks, Jackson ties the poem's themes back to personal growth and the universal quest for meaning. He reflects on the transformative power of gratitude in fostering resilience and inner peace:

"Even she is wild and shining in the palace of memory, my mind's glass castle." (04:25)

Jackson encourages listeners to embrace moments of gratitude as pathways to understanding and appreciating the intricate tapestry of their lives.

Final Thoughts

This episode of The Slowdown masterfully intertwines personal narrative with poetic analysis, offering listeners a profound exploration of gratitude. Through Major Jackson's insightful commentary and Patrick Dundon's poignant verses, the episode invites introspection and a deeper appreciation for the subtle joys that shape our existence.

Transcript

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[Major Jack]

I'm Major Jack and this is the slowdown after a four year relationship dissolved. A friend, Jennifer said, I think you should try to be alone for a year. She might as well have said you should travel to Mars on a flying tricycle. That may well work for monks, I countered, but you forget my need for validation and comfort is several galaxies long. We both laughed over the phone. She referred to abstinence as a cleansing, a restraint that results in clarity. Several years prior she and her wife parted ways. I witnessed her beautiful recovery. She did not give up on love. She just paused on putting herself in intimate relationships that sometimes muddled her intentions and needs. You discover what you really want in a partner by discovering what you love about yourself, jennifer said. I so appreciated her counsel, but still I could not envision myself isolated from the world of possibility. See, I have a natural curiosity about people. It has me believe the great mystery of our existence is solved by the person we love and bring into our life. I journeyed through several relationships before I gave Jennifer's advice some mustard. I didn't date for half a year. I needed to weather a few more storms to arrive at her well earned wisdom and thus at my own pace. Today's poem puts us in touch with what it means to experience unadulterated joy, one that is owed to an exquisite contentment. Gratitude by Patrick Dundon Today I think I am healed. I do not want what I do not have. Even the lover who sleeps across town, one of my hairs trapped behind his ear, feels near to me. Sure, my mother did not hold me enough, too tempted by the specter of satiety only alcohol can bring. But I do not resent her. Even she is wild and shining in the palace of memory, my mind's glass castle. Last night I woke from a dream of a terrible storm to the sounds of a terrible storm, wind rattling the windows, knocking branches against the roof. No one was there to hold me, and I was happy. A little curtain of satisfaction fell over my face while I lay there wanting nothing. Jonathan asked me to send him a poem about gratitude. At first nothing comes to mind. All poems, I think, are about lack, language's inability to capture the real. So I send him a poem about contentment, gratitude's simpler sibling, the privileged child who can rest on their laurels without self knowledge. To thank takes work. You must risk foolishness to do it. In the morning the storm had passed, only a few sporadic clouds releasing the last of their burden, punctuated by sun steam lifting off the concrete. Was I thankful for this? Or was my emptiness merely glossed over, inoculated, fed? I opened the curtains as wide as they would go, inviting all the possible light. Jonathan thanked me for the poem. We both knew it was not what he wanted. In the end, the speaker sees birds rising up from gnarled trees and thinks as they fly off, I need to go there too, when really the birds should exist without the complication of need. I tell Jonathan I will find a new poem, one without desire, or better yet, without birds at all. The Slowdown is a production of American Public Media in partnership with the Poetry Foundation. This project is also supported in part by the National Endowment for the Arts. On the [e-mail] to get a poem delivered to you daily, go to slowdownshow.org and sign up for our newsletter. And find us on Instagram @downdownshow and bluesky slowdownshow.org.

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[Teacher]

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[Narrator]

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