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Ajah Jackson
I'm Ajah Jackson, and this is the Slowdown. I was one of those kids mothers wanted their sons to make friends with. To their knowledge, I never got in trouble. I completed my homework. I showed respect to parents, teachers, and coaches alike. Despite my protests, my mother beamed proudly and said yes, even though these playdates left me bruised. One, I didn't like being a walking model for adolescent behavior, and 2 no one wants a goody two shoes foisted upon them. Setting an example was burdensome, which is why I think basketball royalty Charles Barkley advised sports fans to not look up to him, especially children. In his opinion, children should look to their parents and community members. In principle, I agreed, but sometimes we are chosen and learn to accept the responsibility of being paragons of decency and wisdom. Given the challenges we face on a daily it is human for us to seek out those who seem to have it figured out, be they mentors or people who we think of in the face of some crisis. When faced with any crucial decision, my friend Salvatore frequently utters, what would such and such do? However, what happens when even our role models lose clarity, when the world is bereft of understanding? Today's poem presents such a figure who knows whatever grasp we have on life, it is impermanent. We are returned back to the mysteries. Gertrude in the Rooms by Kate Daniels Sometimes I still think of Gertrude and all her privacies, of the tenuous sheen of her thin gray hair in the sculptural, elegant way she piled it high up on her head. Even now, typing these simple words vividly, she returns, conjuring the images that made her real, transcending the withered anonymities of elderly citizens one passes in the street without even noticing a whole life is walking by. Gertrude's agony seemed different from ours, older, well thumbed, polite and buckled to her person like a well fitting garment, ours untamed, sharp edged and shouting, hungry infant railing in a crib, not noiseless and ancient like hers, nor glamorous as a hologram of anguish, flickering and glittering with broken fragments of captured light which lit her up inside her grief and made her glow. Surely she could not be as fragile as she looked. Carrying that weight. We craved the object lesson of her tragedy, thinking it would teach us how to transcend our sobbing corporeal essences that grieved us so and held us back as we kept on searching for the sure way out the red door marked Exit that Gertrude, we assumed, had passed through long before. If you're lucky, she once said elliptically and apropos of nothing specific, it will bring you to your knees, speaking so softly we could barely even hear her, her legs crossed at the ankles, arranged off center cotillion style of the debutante she once had been. Her vain, swollen bony hand gestured midpoint of her chest as if something still lodged there that had never broken free. The rest of us felt shocked then, or I did anyway, perceiving the torment still living inside her that we thought she had conquered. The mystery was how someone insignificant and ordinary as Gertrude had redistributed that weight and reoriented the magnetic poles that for us always defaulted to agony. She had been our hero, icon of a victory that could one day be ours if we learned to live as Gertrude lived, elegant and stoical, silencing our constant clamoring for relief. But now here she was, testifying to victory or defeat, we could not tell, and that fucked us up, Oracular and eternal was what we thought she was in possession of the answer. Instead, her image and her words it will bring you to your knees, turned us back into ourselves, where the suffering was and the mystery, and offered no answer but the hard shock of our knees knocking against the earth and the prickling burn of blood breaking its barrier of skin and starting to flow. The Slowdown is a production of American Public Media in partnership with the Poetry Foundation. This project is also supported in part by the National Endowment for the Arts. On the web@arts.gov to get a poem delivered to you daily, go to slowdownshow.org and sign up for our newsletter and find us on Instagram atdowndownshow and blueskylowdownshow.org foreign hi. It's major. Before becoming host, I listen to the Slowdown each morning as an essential daily ritual. And I plan to keep listening. I hope you'll join me in supporting the Slowdown's next chapter. Please consider making a donation today as an investment in the future of this program. Visit slowdownshow.org donate or find the link in the show notes. Thank you for your support.
Podcast Summary: The Slowdown: Poetry & Reflection Daily
Episode 1327: "Gertrude: In the Rooms" by Kate Daniels
Release Date: April 7, 2025
Timestamp: 01:07
In this episode of The Slowdown, host Ajah Jackson delves into the complexities of role models and the inherent responsibilities they embody. Drawing from personal anecdotes and societal observations, Jackson explores the pressure of being perceived as paragons of decency and wisdom. She reflects on the words of basketball legend Charles Barkley, who advised that children should look to their parents and community members rather than sports figures for guidance. Jackson articulates her agreement in principle but acknowledges the often unavoidable selection of role models who inadvertently become symbols of virtue.
Notable Quote:
“Setting an example was burdensome, which is why I think basketball royalty Charles Barkley advised sports fans to not look up to him, especially children. In his opinion, children should look to their parents and community members.”
— Ajah Jackson (01:20)
Timestamp: 02:15
Jackson continues by addressing the human tendency to seek clarity and guidance from those we admire, especially during crises. She shares the common practice among her peers of asking, “What would such and such do?” when faced with difficult decisions. However, she raises a poignant question: What happens when even our role models lose clarity, leaving us in a state of collective uncertainty? This contemplation sets the stage for the episode's featured poem, highlighting the fragility and impermanence of understanding in our lives.
Notable Quote:
“Given the challenges we face on a daily it is human for us to seek out those who seem to have it figured out, be they mentors or people who we think of in the face of some crisis.”
— Ajah Jackson (02:45)
Timestamp: 03:10
Transitioning from her reflections, Jackson introduces the poem "Gertrude in the Rooms" by Kate Daniels. She presents Gertrude as a metaphorical figure embodying strength and resilience, someone whose presence and demeanor offer both inspiration and a stark reminder of the human condition's complexities. Gertrude's portrayal serves as a vessel for exploring themes of grief, anonymity, and the often misunderstood battles individuals face despite outward appearances.
Notable Quote:
“Today’s poem presents such a figure who knows whatever grasp we have on life, it is impermanent. We are returned back to the mysteries.”
— Ajah Jackson (03:30)
Timestamp: 04:00
Jackson reads and interprets "Gertrude in the Rooms," painting a vivid picture of an elderly woman whose subtle presence belies a profound internal struggle. Gertrude is depicted with delicate physical traits—“the tenuous sheen of her thin gray hair”—contrasted against the weight of her unseen agony. This juxtaposition highlights the poem's exploration of how individuals often hide their deepest pains behind facades of politeness and composure.
Gertrude's grief is portrayed as both unique and universal. Jackson emphasizes the community's initial perception of Gertrude as a hero who had mastered her suffering, only to be confronted with her unresolved torment. This revelation challenges the listeners' assumptions about strength and resilience, suggesting that even those we admire can carry burdens unknown to us.
Notable Quotes from the Poem:
“Gertrude’s agony seemed different from ours, older, well-thumbed, polite and buckled to her person like a well-fitting garment…”
(04:15)
“Her image and her words it will bring you to your knees, turned us back into ourselves, where the suffering was and the mystery...”
(06:50)
Timestamp: 07:30
The episode delves into several poignant themes presented in the poem:
Impermanence of Understanding: Gertrude embodies the idea that certainty is fleeting, and life’s mysteries often remain unresolved.
Hidden Agonies: The poem underscores how individuals may conceal their struggles, making it challenging for others to perceive the true extent of their pain.
Misplaced Heroism: Gertrude's portrayal challenges the notion of heroes, suggesting that those we idolize are not immune to suffering and doubt.
Jackson articulates that "Gertrude in the Rooms" serves as a reminder of our shared humanity, the silent battles we all fight, and the importance of empathy and understanding in our interactions.
Notable Quote:
“She had been our hero, icon of a victory that could one day be ours if we learned to live as Gertrude lived, elegant and stoical, silencing our constant clamoring for relief.”
— Ajah Jackson (07:45)
Timestamp: 09:00
Wrapping up the episode, Jackson reflects on the profound impact that poetry can have in illuminating the silent struggles of individuals like Gertrude. She emphasizes the necessity of embracing vulnerability and fostering empathy to bridge the gaps in our understanding of others' experiences. By engaging with such literary works, listeners are encouraged to pause, reflect, and connect more deeply with the shared human journey.
Notable Quote:
“We could not tell [whether Gertrude was testifying to victory or defeat], and that fucked us up, Oracular and eternal was what we thought she was in possession of the answer.”
— Ajah Jackson (08:30)
Role Models’ Complexities: The episode explores the delicate balance between admiration and the unrealistic expectations placed on role models.
Human Fragility: Gertrude’s character serves as a testament to the hidden vulnerabilities that everyone possesses, regardless of their outward appearance.
Poetry as Reflection: Through "Gertrude in the Rooms," the podcast illustrates how poetry can serve as a powerful tool for personal and collective reflection, fostering deeper empathy and understanding.
For more episodes and to make The Slowdown a part of your daily routine, visit slowdownshow.org and follow them on Instagram at @slowdownshow and @blueskyslowdownshow.org.