Summary3 min read

Podcast Summary: The Slowdown, Episode 1333

Poem: "Crossing the Line" by E. Ethelbert Miller
Host: Maggie Smith
Date: August 19, 2025
Episode Theme: The Enduring Power of Long Friendship

Overview

This episode of The Slowdown explores the profound and sustaining nature of long-term friendship through Maggie Smith's heartfelt reflection and a moving reading of E. Ethelbert Miller's poem “Crossing the Line.” Smith draws parallels between her own cherished experiences and the intimate emotional landscape created by Miller’s poetry, emphasizing how friendships shape our identities across time.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Lifelong Friendship as a Source of Joy and Continuity

[01:07]

Maggie opens with a personal story about her annual summer trip from Ohio to Illinois with her children to visit her oldest friend and their family. She highlights how these brief reunions bring immense laughter and joy that carry through the year.
- “I haven’t laughed this hard since we were all together last year.”
Smith describes the deep significance of these long-standing bonds, noting how the people who've known us through multiple life stages help us understand ourselves in new ways.

Inside Jokes and Shared Histories

[02:10]

The mention of her daughter's “trip lore” — a running list of inside jokes from their time together — serves as a testament to how friendships accumulate memories that act as touchstones long after the moments have passed.
- “Months from now, she’ll pull out her phone…and she’ll crack me up by reading from the list of hilarious things that happened...”

The Gift and Bittersweetness of New vs. Old Friends

[02:55]

Smith reflects on the contrasting feelings between new and old friendships. While grateful for new kindred spirits, she notes that new friends can’t know every past version of ourselves the way old friends do. This brings a “little melancholy,” underscoring how shared history deepens intimacy and understanding.
- “They can’t know everyone I’ve already been, and I can’t know everyone they’ve already been.”

The Poem as a Tribute to Friendship

[03:22]

Smith introduces "Crossing the Line" as a love poem to long friendship, aligning it with the episode’s reflections on change, memory, and deep knowledge.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On the Meaning of Long Friendships

“What a gift long friendships are; those people who have known multiple iterations of us.”
— Maggie Smith [02:40]

On the Melancholy of New Friendships

“Sometimes I get a little melancholy when I make new friends…it’s hard not to feel like we’ve missed out on a lot.”
— Maggie Smith [02:56]

From the Poem, “Crossing the Line” by E. Ethelbert Miller

[03:34]

“You break a cookie in half like bread / and this sharing is what we now both need. / That which breaks into crumbs are memories.”
“How can I tell you that Bolivia will always be beautiful / and everything I notice is you and yes, is you?”
“Our napkins folded in our hands folded as if our meeting / now is prayer.”
“Did I ever tell you that your eyes are a map and I would lose myself if you ever turned away?”

Timestamps of Important Segments

01:07: Maggie Smith’s personal account of annual trips to visit a childhood friend
02:10: The power of inside jokes and shared history
02:55: Contrast between old and new friends; reflection on memory and identity
03:22: Introduction to the poem “Crossing the Line”
03:34: Full reading of E. Ethelbert Miller’s poem

Tone and Language

Maggie Smith speaks with warmth, wistfulness, and genuine affection, relating her own life experience to the resonance she finds in Miller’s poem. The episode’s tone is contemplative, gentle, and grateful, inviting listeners to reflect on the preciousness of long friendships and the way poetry gives words to these deep connections.

Conclusion

In this episode, Maggie Smith intertwines a personal meditation on lifelong friendship with the evocative power of E. Ethelbert Miller's poem, offering listeners a moment of gratitude, nostalgia, and recognition for the friendships that anchor and shape us through change. The episode stands as a gentle reminder of how poetry, memory, and the people who walk alongside us give life its deepest meaning.

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Transcript3 lines

[00:00]
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[01:07]
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I'm Maggie Smith and this is the Slowdown Every summer for the past several years, my children and I have traveled from Ohio to Illinois to visit a dear friend of mine and her family. We've been friends for 31 years, since high school. It's now an annual tradition to spend time together, all seven of us, me and my two kids, and my friend, her husband and their two kids. The trip requires a short flight or a long drive to Chicago, but it's worth it each year when we're all together. I think I haven't laughed this hard since we were all together last year. Our two families have so many inside jokes now that my teenage daughter keeps a list on her phone of what she calls trip lore. We revisit the trip lore now and then during the year. Months from now, she'll pull out her phone while we're walking the dog or running errands, and she'll crack me up by reading from the list of hilarious things that happened when we were with our Chicago friends. We may only be together for less than a week any given year, but the laughter lasts all year long. And when we see each other again, we pick right up where we left off, as if no time has passed. What a gift long friendships are those people who have known multiple iterations of us. My friends from my teens and twenties have seen me single, married, divorced and dating again. They've seen me with a short pixie cut, waist length hair and some unfortunate layers and highlights in the early aughts. They remember when I was first starting to write poems before I'd published my first book. That shared history means so much to me that sometimes I get a little melancholy when I make new friends. I feel lucky to still be finding kindred spirits at this time in my life, but it's hard not to feel like we've missed out on a lot. They can't know everyone I've already been, and I can't know everyone they've already been. Today's poem reads to me like a love poem, a tribute to a long friendship. It reminds me that part of how we know ourselves is through the people who know us best and who have loved us through our changes. Crossing the Line by Ethelbert Miller For Maria Sitting across the table from you, I think back to when our friendship came down from the mountains. It was a cold day and the miners had not left for work. You break a cookie in half like bread and this sharing is what we both now need. That which breaks into crumbs are memories. Your gray hair cut short and you ask if I notice. How can I tell you that Bolivia will always be beautiful and everything I notice is you and yes, is you? Our napkins folded in our hands folded as if our meeting now is prayer. Did I ever tell you that your eyes are a map and I would lose myself if you ever turned away? The Slowdown is a production of American Public Media in partnership with the Poetry Foundation. To get a poem delivered to you daily, go to slowdownshow.org and sign up for our newsletter. And find us on Instagram @downdownshow and bluesky.downdownshow.org hi, it's Maggie. The Slowdown is the only poetry podcast in public media. That means your support is vital to to keep us going. No matter how much you give, your contribution makes a real difference. Head to SlowdownShow.org donate today to Power More Poems into the Future.